Rachel and Holly Snog Marry Avoid?

# Usually drink, usually dance Usually bubble... #

POD, you've got your work cut out!

I'm Ellie Taylor, and if you're a fan of fakery, then listen up

because "Snog, Marry, Avoid?" is on tour and we're ready to do battle.

'Our Personal Overhaul Device, or POD for short,

'has been stripped down and re-booted

'and has waged war on Britain's biggest fakers.'

'POD would like to know, how much does it cost to look this cheap?'

'And nowhere is safe.

'This time round, POD is on the road.'

'POD computes, you look orange!'

I look brown!

'From Manchester to Newcastle, Liverpool to Cardiff,

'if it's fake, we'll find it.'

-BOTH:

-POD, please let us in!

'POD is also challenging me to try out some local style disasters.'

SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER

Well, if you can't beat them, I suppose you have to join them.

'This week, POD's landed in a place

'where the locals have their own alternative twist on fakery.'

-GEORDIE ACCENT:

-'That's right, pet! We're in...'

the North East.

-Hiya, POD. It's me!

-'Hi, Ellie. Please enter.'

-Thank you.

-Hello, POD.

-'Hi, Ellie.'

-Guess what this is, guess what this is?

'It's you, but asleep.'

No, it's me being the Angel of the North because we're in the North East.

'Yes, we are. But it's not angels I want you to investigate, Ellie.

'It's the demons from the dark side of fakery.'

What, like, sexy Robert Pattinson kind of people?

'No, Ellie. It's not about boys.'

Sorry. What, then?

'The North East has a vibrant alternative scene,

'but some individuals are taking it too far,

'caking and encrusting themselves in frightening fakery.'

I reckon I can do that. I'm quite alternative.

I've got BOTH my ears pierced. Not a problem. I'm onto it.

'Coming up on tonight's show,

'we meet a Welsh Barbie whose look is more plastic drastic

'than fantastic.'

My motto is, "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

'I check out the North East's alternative scene

'and go cyberpunking.'

-Wahey! That's mad, that, like!

-Isn't it?

'And POD meets a yummy mummy

'whose idea of clothing on a night out would make a stripper blush.'

I like to wear skirts that are more like a belt.

So that they show my arse!

POD's asked me to look into Geordie style,

and by the look of this bunch, I've got quite a bit to learn.

-CROWD:

-Hi, POD!

'I like the alternative look and alternative people.'

'You get Emos. They're a bit like cyberpunks.'

'Goths as well, in dark clothing...'

you know, black eyeliner and stuff.

What would you consider yourself to be,

if you were going to pigeonhole yourself?

I'm not sure. At work, everyone thinks I'm a Goth.

I think that's just cos I'm the only one with black hair there.

Newcastle is great. Everybody travels from all over to come here.

There is a lot of different fashion that is around Newcastle as well,

so you never see the same thing around.

I can't imagine snogging you with that!

Is it not just like sucking a knife and fork?

So, have you ever had any crazy-coloured hair?

I've had my hair pretty much any colour you can imagine.

-Always in the Mohawk?

-Always in a Mohawk. It used to be two foot long!

My look is Sweet Lolita.

I like bears and lots and lots and lots of lace.

'You look like a loo roll cover!'

At least I'm not in my knickers!

THEY LAUGH

That's a change, Freya!

Next up is a girl from Llandudno.

If she were a stick of rock,

she'd have the word "fake" running the whole way through.

So, can POD lick her into shape?

Hi, I'm Rachel, otherwise known as Barbie,

and I'm 19 and I live in Llandudno in Wales.

# Uh-oh, we're in trouble

# Something's come along And it's burst our bubble... #

I'm nicknamed Barbie because of my platinum blonde hair

and my blue eyes, pink lipstick,

and cos I just love pink!

My motto is, "If you've got it, flaunt it!"

Natural's just not for me.

Got to have loads of make-up, just look dead girlie,

plenty of pink blusher, pink lipstick.

'Wear fake tan every day, darker the better!

'I wear about three layers in the daytime,

'but when I go out, it goes up to about six.'

The more fake tan, the better!

'She is really, really naturally pretty.'

And then, as the years have gone on, she just gradually got worse.

'And I think she just gets a bit carried away.

'She does not know where to stop.'

Hiya!

I'm a trained beauty therapist,

but it'd be my dream job to eventually own my own salon.

But for now, I'm just happy practising on my friends.

Ow!

'If I had a make-under...

and I liked the way that I looked naturally,

I think it'd be a massive confidence boost.

'I'd be able to feel comfortable,

'not having to hide it with a fake tan

'and really heavy make-up.'

Party time!

# Come on, Barbie, let's go party!

# I'm a Barbie girl, In my Barbie world... #

'I'm a bit of a party animal.

'Just love going out, having a good time with everyone.

'On the dancefloor, partying. That's, like, the best thing.'

Saturday night, I have to be on the town.

# I'm a Barbie girl... #

POD, I'm a Barbie girl. in a Barbie world.

Life is plastic, it's fantastic! Good luck with changing me!

-Hello, Miss Rachel! How are you?

-Hello. I'm fine, thank you.

How are these bad boys as well?

-They're fine.

-They're looking pretty perky!

-They're girls.

-Oh, sorry!

-They're called The Girls.

-OK. The Girls.

-Yeah.

-Do you often have them out like that?

-Yeah. All the time.

So tell me, from head to toe, what's fake.

I bleach my hair, I've got hair extensions in,

fake eyelashes, make-up.

My boobs are real. Fake tan.

-Do you ruin towels and bedsheets, just by looking at them, I imagine?

-Yeah.

You wake up in the morning and you've slept there,

and just brown, everywhere.

It looks like you've made a bit of a dirty protest or something.

-I know.

-A sort of sexy look?

-No. No.

Why do you want to go in for a make-under?

I just want to see people's reaction, really.

To see whether, when they look at me, do they think bad, do they think good?

And it'd be nice to just see what I'd look like differently.

And whether people'd like it or not. And whether I'd like it.

You're a beautician, aren't you, by trade?

-Yeah.

-Now, I've got a little quiz for you,

to try and work out exactly what kind of beauty therapist you are.

So, microdermabrasion, or micro-miniskirt?

Miniskirt.

-You're rocking the look today.

-Yeah.

Smooth strip or hairy bush?

-Smooth.

-Like Barbie.

-Yes!

-Absolutely.

Frown lines, or small prick, (Botox).

-Botox.

-You just seem quite chilled out about going into POD.

-I think you're quite up for it.

-I am, but I am a little bit nervous.

I don't know what she's going to do to me.

All the very best of luck, Rachel. POD awaits.

POD, good luck with me.

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

-Who are you?

-I'm Barbie.

-You're Barbie?

-Yeah.

-What's your real name?

-Rachel.

Rachel, why do you want to be a Barbie?

Cos Barbie's pretty, Barbie's cute, Barbie's fun, Barbie's pink.

-Do you know what Barbie's not?

-What?

She's not real.

Exactly, fake!

How long does it take to put all that sticky slap on your face and body?

Probably about four, five hours?

-Are you working at the moment?

-No.

And why do you think that is?

I think that if my look was a bit less over the top

then I might have more chance of owning my own business,

cos it'd look more professional.

Shall we find out what the public think your look says about you?

If we have to.

Run phase 1 - Public Analysis.

I asked the public, showing them a picture of you,

would you want to snog, marry or avoid this girl?

-What do you think they said?

-Snog.

I'm definitely going to have to say avoid.

Way, way too much make-up, and does look a bit like Count Dracula.

SHE GASPS

That's not very nice, is it?

I would avoid her, I think she looks like a Scouse Oompa-Loompa.

Liverpool girls are pretty.

Perhaps it's because you're orange

and have a massive Scouse brow.

Yes. I love the Scouse brows.

I'd avoid her, she looks like she's got a bit too much make-up on

and a bit too chavvy for me.

I'm not chavvy!

In fact, 90% of the public - that's nearly everyone -

said they would avoid you.

No, I don't know where you're finding these people.

OK, Rachel, POD computes that you need

my drastic plastic dolly

to luscious, living doll make-under.

Are you ready for the next stage of the make-under process?

Not really, but there we go.

-Be brave.

-OK.

It's a necessary process.

Run phase two Deep Cleanse.

Now, I want those scraggly extensions.

Awww.

-Let's have them.

-All of them?

Come on.

There's one.

There's another one.

I wouldn't be a Barbie without hair, would I?

Come on, Rachel, you can do it.

This is a big step.

POD's proud of you.

You're making me pale now, look at that.

-And my eyes as well?

-Everything.

Awww!

Including those silly Scouse brows.

How are you feeling at the moment?

Very nervous. I'm not very Barbie, at all.

Run the make-under, in three, two, one.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, I look completely different!

Oh, it's gorgeous.

I absolutely love it.

Oh, my God, I love my hair.

How does it feel to see yourself as such a young, fresh, natural beauty?

I'm just in shock, it just looks so nice,

it's not what I expected at all.

It just goes to show that I don't need all the make-up

and everything just to look nice.

Previously, I asked the public,

showing them a picture of you with your new look,

would you want to snog,

marry or avoid this girl?

What do you think they said?

Snog, maybe?

I'd marry her, cos she looks like

someone I could introduce my mum to.

That's cute.

Yeah, I'd snog her, she's

quite pretty, she's got nice eyes,

nice make-up,

it's quite a natural look.

That's much better than what

they said before, isn't it?

Certainly is!

Snog, because she's naturally

pretty, got a great pair of eyes

and I love the short hair.

Aww. So, the short hair's better, then.

It seems to be.

In fact, a whopping 70% of the public want to snog you.

And the other 30% wants to marry you.

Oh, that's good.

People are much nicer about the way that I look now, aren't they?

POD computes is that this make-under has been 100% successful.

Yay!

-Thank you, Rachel, goodbye.

-Bye!

'I love my new look.

'Absolutely love my hair.

'It's much better short. The colour's gorgeous

'and I'm dead happy with it.

'I'm here to meet my best friend, Rosie.'

I'm well excited, but so nervous as well.

I can't wait to see what she's going to say.

Oh, my God!

You look amazing.

-Do you like it?

-Yeah, it's so different.

-I know!

'I was so shocked. I was amazed at how different she looked to this morning'

before she went in and all the fakery had completely gone

and she was back to the Rachel that I knew.

Barbie is dead!

'Rachel looked really naturally pretty before all the fakery,

'and I could never really understand why

'she used to put all the fake tan on'

and eyelashes and extensions,

cos she never needed it in the first place.

I reckon with this look I'll be much more on the lines

of getting my own business set up and not scaring away clients.

Yeah, I'd let you pluck my eyebrows now.

Rosie's reaction was much better than I thought.

She loves it and I'm so pleased.

-Do you think you'll stick?

-Yeah. 100%.

-You're not going to put your extensions back in?

-No.

-I can't, it's too short anyway!

-Promise.

-Pinky promise.

-Good.

POD, thanks so much, I love my look.

You'll be pleased to know that Barbie is gone.

My investigations into the alternative scene in Newcastle

have thrown up tattoos, which I don't like,

piercings, really not for me,

and Mohicans, and I don't think I can pull one of those off.

So this will have to do.

Let's see what the people of Newcastle make of cyber Ellie.

It's not just a look.

Oh, no, the neons reflect cyberpunk's electric lifestyle.

Do you overdress like this, then?

I do when I'm going out, more than anything.

So is the outfit right? Have I done it right?

I think it's fantastic, I absolutely love it.

Do you know what I'm meant to be, what kind of person I am?

A mental person?

Chaps, chaps!

Hi! Stop and talk to me.

Do you like what I'm wearing?

-PASSER-BY:

-Love it!

-Thank you!

-They love it apparently.

Do you love what I am wearing?

It's a bit out there.

You look like you just fell out of a '90s rave.

-Wahey, that's mad, that, like!

-Isn't it!

It's like a slinky!

SHE LAUGHS

Careful, that was my eye!

-Play with it, they're real good.

-Oh, right, OK.

-How fun is that?

-Yeah...

Right, do you want to stick your finger in?

That feels nice, doesn't it?

-Oh, God!

-Now you're mine!

What's your favourite bit?

-Er, the fluffies.

-They're good, aren't they?

Is that what they're called?

I think those are the best part.

I tell you what the best thing is about this outfit -

due to the holes, if you get an itchy arse...

-Not a problem.

-No worries, straight in there.

Next up is a yummy mummy who's a slave to fakery.

Can POD save her from a life of slap,

or has she simply gone too far?

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-A lot of people say I'm slutty.

I like to wear low-cut tops, cos I've had a boob job.

I like to show my legs off.

I can't leave the house without my hair extensions, my false nails,

my eyelashes, my fake tan,

cos I want to look glamorous.

At first I was a little tomboy when I was growing up,

and then my best friend, she changed me, you know.

"Come on, start dressing up a little bit more, put make-up on,

"look more girlie."

So, then, I think from being a tomboy,

I changed completely to being slaggy.

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-She looks like a tart.

I've tried to say, "Come on, control it, you know,

"settle down a little bit,

"you're a mum now."

CHEERING

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-I like to wear skirts

that are more like a belt.

So that they show my arse.

And my front, I'm not bothered.

VOICE OF SIGNER: It's awful.

It's embarrassing most of the time. But if we go out,

you know, it's too much.

I want POD to change me,

because I'm looking a bit sluttish at the moment.

I really want to be more mature,

because I'm a mum now with two boys, and I get a lot of attention.

Really, I want to be changed. Please?

So I'm just about to meet Holly and her signer, Babs.

Me and Holly are going to have sex on the beach, but Babs

is only allowed an orange juice, just in case she slurs her signing.

-Hello, Babs.

-Hello.

Hello, how are you?

Tell me what brings you to POD.

Because I've got two boys,

and I want to stop embarrassing my little boys,

other people looking at me, I want

to change myself for the children.

And do you think in some way your quite extreme look

is to compensate, maybe, for you being deaf?

Kind of, because if I was a hearing person

I would probably just attract different men, make new friends.

So, why do you think you crave so much attention, then?

Not just men look at me, girls look at me, also,

so I feel good, cos they're jealous of me.

So, do you like winding up the other girls, then?

Yeah, of course, cos their boyfriends look at me and I'm a bit of a flirt.

You're naughty! That's so deliberate!

So, good luck to you both.

-POD awaits.

-Nervous!

I am POD, the Personal Overhaul Device.

Who are you?

Hi, I'm Holly, I'm 24

and I'm from Leeds.

Hello, Holly.

Is this your mum with you?

No, it's not my mum,

it's my friend.

She's helping me to interpret.

POD computes that you use your hands very cleverly to communicate.

Why do you use them so sloppily when applying your make-up?

My make-up's great!

You're a computer, how do you know how to put perfect make-up on?

POD is the world's one and only make-under computer.

I know everything about natural beauty.

Why have you got hotpants on?

To show off my legs.

Pod computes that your legs would look much nicer

if we could actually see them.

Instead, it looks like you're covered in net curtains.

It looks modern, it's fashionable -

I like the look I have.

And what else isn't real about you?

Hair, my nails, my eyelashes,

fake tan, and false boobs.

Well, everything is going apart from the boobs.

Run phase one - Public Analysis.

POD asked members of the public

if they wanted to snog,

marry or avoid you.

What do you think they said?

Snog.

I'd avoid her,

she looks too much trouble for me.

Too much trouble over my piercings, my earrings?

Is that what you're meaning?

Avoid. She looks a bit too much like Madonna.

Too much gold, skin-tight, looks about 40.

Not my type at all.

I look 40?! Oh, thank you very much(!)

60% of the public wanted to avoid you.

35% would snog you,

and only 5% would marry you.

5%, is that all? Oh, no, never.

Pod computes that a make-under will turn you

from a moron magnet to a sexy, yummy mummy.

Are you ready for the next stage of the make-under process?

Yes.

Run phase two Deep Cleanse.

Remove all of your fakery.

When I'm out of here

I'm putting these straight back on.

I'll incinerate them first.

Aladdin!

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-Awful! Oh, I don't like this.

I don't like how I look like this.

Let's have a look at that pad.

OK, Holly. I am now going to run the make-under

in three, two, one...

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

What do you think?

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-I feel naked without all my false bits on.

I don't feel younger like this.

I do like the look, but I think it's a bit plain for me, personally.

POD computes that you look classy.

I'm not too keen on my hair.

What is it about your hair that you don't like?

-The bun in the middle.

-What do you think your boys would say?

They'd probably laugh over my head with my hair.

It's possible my cat could even sleep on my head.

Is this a look your boys could be proud of?

Yes, I think they would be very proud of me.

But I think the clothes are still a bit old for me.

POD computes that you look classy.

What do you think the public will say about you?

"Divorced." I'd get a "divorced."

Marry me, I hope. I'd hope somebody would marry me.

-Shall we find out?

-Yes, OK.

I would snog her. I think she looks nice. I think she looks natural.

I'd marry her, because I think she looks very homely and sophisticated.

I would snog her because she looks classy

and she has that natural beauty.

Previously, 60% of the public wanted to avoid you.

35% wanted to snog you and only 5% wanted to marry you.

Now 80% of the public want to snog you

and 10% want to marry you.

Oh, really? Oh, that's nice.

It's been a great pleasure meeting you, Holly.

Nice to meet you too, POD.

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye!

Holly's about to reveal her stylish new look.

Her sister and best friend are in for a right shock.

-FRIEND GASPS VOICE OF SIGNER:

-How do I look?

That's nice!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, I'm all emotional, look.

Stop it, give me a hug. Come here. Come here.

Oh, you look like a lady. You look like a lady.

Oh, I'm too emotional.

VOICE OF SIGNER: Wow. What an impact.

I've known my best friend from being so young and growing up together.

She's been a tomboy, she's been sporty,

a teenage girl who changed her clothes, lots of different things,

but I've never seen her so natural.

I'm crying on telly! Stop, you're making me all emotional.

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-She looks beautiful.

When her children see her at school,

they'll be, "Natural mummy!" So it's better for the kids as well.

Thank you, POD, for helping me change my new look.

I like it, but I won't get rid of my hair extensions.

We'll find out later in the show if Holly has kept her new look.

Earlier, we met Rachel,

who was a complete Barbie girl until POD made her under,

so has she kept her natural look

or gone back to her plastic fantastic ways?

You look a little bit different to when I last saw you.

-How are you?

-I'm good, thank you.

-Your hair's shorter...

-Yeah.

But I don't think that's the colour POD gave you, is it?

No, I've gone lighter.

-Was it not bold enough?

-I did like it, but yeah, it wasn't...

I didn't feel blonde, even though it was.

You still look a little bit orange and I can see some sort of orange tide marks

knocking around your hands. Did POD teach you nothing?

-She did, but only one layer of tan this time.

-Last time we met,

you were telling me about how you were a beauty therapist

and how you quite wanted your own salon, but you didn't think

your look, the old one, was going to help you do that.

What do you think about the new version of you?

Yeah, it's much more toned down

and I think a little bit more approachable to people

-so yeah, definitely.

-So, Rachel, if you had a final message for POD,

-what would you say to her?

-I'd say, "Thanks, POD,

"for giving me the confidence to go on with my ambitions

"and yeah, make-under success."

Brilliant. Can I get a cheap discount on a bikini wax?

-Of course.

-Excellent.

As darkness descends, POD meets Newcastle's final fashion offenders.

-BOTH:

-POD, please let us in.

What on earth are you?

-We are drag queens, and we're fabulous!

-Mm-hmm.

POD computes you look like an insane cockatoo.

Thanks, POD.

-Please describe your style.

-I'm shiny and I'm black.

But so is a bit of coal.

What are those tentacles sticking out of your head?

Dread falls.

Dread what?

They're dread falls, POD.

More like "dread-ful!"

It looks like you got it from a dead body.

-Watch what you're saying, POD, cos we're Geordie girls!

-Aye! Aye!

Earlier, Holly was transformed before our very eyes,

but did she keep her natural look? Let's go and see.

Now, I'm going to be honest,

there's not a massively drastic change

apart from, you're wearing quite more clothes than you were before!

-VOICE OF SIGNER:

-Yeah, that's right, Ellie.

And what else have you kept?

Just a little bit of make-up, but I've got rid of all the fake things.

And what about the hair? Because that's much shorter.

-You haven't got the extensions in.

-Just my natural hair, that's right.

So have you given the extensions up? For good?

-No, no, no! Not for good.

-So what do the kids think of it?

Really happy. They feel really better for me.

And do you think you're going to keep this more natural look?

Yes. Hopefully, I'll improve and get a bit more ladylike.

Are you really pleased that you went in to see POD, then?

Yes. Yeah, because if I didn't meet POD,

I would never have known I could ever look like this,

-in a different way.

-Brilliant.

Thank you, Holly. And Babs. You can have a drink now.

Howdy!

Hello, Ellie. Come in.

Thank you!

POD, I'm so glad to be back in these clothes.

Were you getting out of your clothes, Ellie?

I was dressed up as a cyberpunk.

Oh, my Lordy! I couldn't even come in here,

I thought you would have overloaded or something.

What have you learnt from your trip to the North East?

I've learnt that it's not all about the girls who go out in their little dresses with no coats on.

There's a massive alternative scene

that I don't think people know about.

Well, POD would certainly like to see more of them.

No way! I am all punked out.

You, madam, can POD off.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd