Episode 17 The Graham Norton Show


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Episode 17

On Graham's sofa are Denzel Washington, Jamie Dornan, Keanu Reeves and Whoopi Goldberg. With music from Rag'n'Bone Man, who performs Human.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hey, I'm Whoopi Goldberg, and this is the Graham Norton Show.

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CHEERING

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Oh! Oh! Hello!

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Hello, everybody! Hello!

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Hello! Hi! Hi! Oh!

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Hello, everybody!

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And welcome! You're very welcome.

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We've got a great show for you tonight.

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Look at you all out there.

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Everyone looking forward to Valentine's Day?

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WHOOPING Are you? Are you?

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Have you all got plans for taking your loved one

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somewhere nice and exclusive?

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GROANING

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Look at you thinking, "This is it. It's happening now."

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Now, I wonder, are there are any single women in the audience?

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CHEERING

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I think you may enjoy the couch.

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You single women, so lucky.

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With no relationship ties on Valentine's night,

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you can stay in and have a threesome with Ben & Jerry.

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VOICE BREAKING: I'm enjoying my me time.

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Ice cream with a salty tear sauce.

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Classic.

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Music, of course, very important for setting the mood

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on Valentine's night.

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Anything will do, you know, CD player, MP3 player,

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just make sure you don't have one of those annoying little speakers.

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You know. Yeah.

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Now, speaking of romance, ladies and gentlemen,

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Nigel Farage has been in the news again. I know.

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This time, Nigel has denied he's having a relationship

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with a French woman who's been living in his house.

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Now, Nigel's wife said

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they have in fact been living apart for a while.

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And as she reminded Nigel, "Leave does mean leave."

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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I'm imagining for Nigel it was quite a soft exit.

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Let's get the guests on!

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Later we'll be joined by Hollywood superstar Denzel Washington.

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And British Blues singer Rag'n'Bone Man

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will be performing his huge hit, Human.

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But first, he sent shivers down our spine in The Fall,

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and now he's back as seductive billionaire Christian Grey

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in Fifty Shades Darker, it's Jamie Dornan.

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Oh! Oh!

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-Hello, sir.

-Hello.

-Lovely to see you.

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-Yes, hugging, hugging.

-Hugging.

-Showbiz hugging.

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Sit yourself down.

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This man has been one of Hollywood's biggest stars for over 30 years,

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in Bill & Ted, Speed, The Matrix.

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Now he returns as hit man John Wick. It's only the fabulous Keanu Reeves.

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Hello.

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Have a seat, do.

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And with an Oscar, a Grammy,

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three Emmys and a Tony to her name,

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she's quite simply a Hollywood legend.

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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Whoopi Goldberg!

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Hello.

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-So good to see you.

-And you. Thank you.

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Lovely to see you all. Welcome, welcome.

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Now, welcome back, all.

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You've all been... I say welcome back.

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Whoopi, you've never done the show in this country.

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-Not in this country, no.

-No, in America, you were on.

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Yes, well, you always come over. You used to come over.

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-No more. No, no.

-Now you're not doing it any more.

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Well, the pound is so weak.

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I am just...

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Well, it's a very exotic sofa, because, you know, the names.

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AIRILY: Whoopi Goldberg. Keanu Reeves.

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ABRUPTLY: Jamie Dornan.

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Yeah...

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No, cos Whoopi is not... Whoopi isn't...

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I mean, nobody christened you Whoopi.

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No, no-one did.

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What were you actually called? Caryn?

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-Caryn, yeah.

-Caryn? Why the Whoopi, then?

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Because I was a bit of a farter.

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I always thought that was a joke. Is that real?

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I rarely lie.

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Rarely.

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No, you know, the theatres I worked in were so small,

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they didn't have a lot of backstage room, so if you were gassier...

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all the way through.

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People would say, "You are like a Whoopee Cushion."

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-So that's how... That's what it was, that's what it became.

-Oh.

-Yes.

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So are you one of those walkers and farters?

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Well, I was a skipper and farter.

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Keanu is such an exotic name, but that is your real name.

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Yes, sir. That is my name.

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Yes.

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What does it mean, now? Is it from Hawaii?

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Yes, it's a Hawaiian name and it means

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"Cool breeze over the mountains."

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-Ooh.

-Remind you of anything?

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Yeah.

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My little brother right here, Cool Breeze.

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APPLAUSE

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Jamie Dornan, isn't it true that you can spot a Fifty Shades fan now?

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Oh, yeah, of course.

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Well, over fans of The Fall, I don't think...

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I mean, there's a crossover,

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but Fifty Shades fans are...

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their own kind of, um, thing.

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So, when you're walking down the street with your wife,

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does she go, "There's one coming. I see her. She's coming."

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No, you know, there's a sort of a look in their eyes

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and a sort of desire beyond the normal person

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who's just going to pass you in the street, I'll say that.

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Have you seen the first one, Whoopi?

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-Yes, I have.

-Oh.

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It's weird meeting Jamie now, isn't it?

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No, you know, at one point, you know, it would have -

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if it was ten years ago, it probably would have been weird.

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But now, you know, I look and I see just a really great kid,

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a great actor.

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It's, like, you can't go after this.

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You can't go after this.

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You can't flirt, you've got to just kind of be old.

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-Have you seen it, Keanu?

-Yeah.

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I'll leave it there.

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-Now, Whoopi Goldberg, ladies and gentlemen, returns!

-Uh-oh.

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You were last on the London stage seven years ago,

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and now you're back at the Palladium doing a one-woman show.

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It's tomorrow night.

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It's already sold out, so they're doing a second later show.

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-What time does it start?

-Oh... About 10.30, 11.

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-I think it's 11.

-Might be 11.

-Have you met British people at 11?

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Why do you think I came back?

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Yeah.

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-That's going to be quite a show.

-I think so. I think so.

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-I'm so ready for it. You know...

-They'll be really ready for it.

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You bring a Guinness, I'll bring a Guinness, we'll all party together.

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So what can people expect in the show?

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It's more you than characters, it's more like stand-up.

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It's my version. It's about, you know...

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It's about what happens when you don't realise

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that you have gotten older.

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I tell you, I went to a Steely Dan concert recently.

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I was looking around, I thought,

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"Damn, there's some old people at this concert."

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There were all these old hippies and stuff.

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"Do they know how old...?"

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And then I passed a mirror.

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I was like, "Oh, shit!

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"Me too!"

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So it's about waking up and realising

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you're not the youngest thing in the room any more,

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but all the things that that entails,

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cos everything is on the floor, you're picking it up,

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you're putting it on your head.

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It's a whole thing.

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Guys, all the stuff that happens to y'all.

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WHOOPI CHUCKLES

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-LAUGHTER

-You know...

-What happens to us?!

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Come to the show, I'll tell you everything.

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Weren't you talking about the mysterious hair loss for women?

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You mean the balding pudenda?

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-That's what I mean. Yes.

-What?

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-The balding pudenda.

-Pudenda?

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-Yes.

-Pudenda.

-Yeah, I've got you.

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What is that?

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-Well, in one's youth...

-Wait, do I want to know what this is?

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I don't know, I don't know if you do.

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-But I will just put it this way.

-Let's hear it.

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There was once a time where....

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I don't even know if I should tell it.

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-I'm really scared!

-Tell it, tell it.

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I can't believe you don't know what a pudenda is.

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Can you say pubic hair? I can say pubic hair?

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Pubic hair? Yes!

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AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS

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You're not a doctor, but we'll still let you.

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-Once where there was an afro...

-Right.

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..that I could put beads on and braid...

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LAUGHTER

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-Wow!

-Yeah.

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..there is now Paul Shaffer's head.

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Paul... Oh, OK. OK.

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OK, empty bald. There we go.

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But there's more to it, but you have to come.

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You have to...

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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They seem willing, they seem willing.

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They do seem willing.

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Here's the thing, ladies and gentlemen, Whoopi Goldberg,

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your first big film role,

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-your first Oscar nomination, The Color Purple.

-Yes.

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The audition for that, for Steven Spielberg,

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did you do, like, a whole show for him?

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Yeah, I'd been doing my show in New York.

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When we were just about finished, my manager said,

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"Oh, Steven Spielberg can't make it to the show in New York.

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"He'd like you to come to LA and do your show at Amblin Studios",

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which is his studio.

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I was like, "What?!"

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They said, "He wants you to come." I said, "But why?"

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"Cos he wants to see the show."

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I said, "Oh, OK." Cos I thought they were kidding.

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So when I got to Los Angeles and got to the studio I thought,

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"Oh, maybe this is real." So I go in.

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His secretary comes and he comes and gets me.

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All I can think of is, "Oh, shit."

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Wait, wait, there's, like, no other people there?

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-No, it's just...

-There wasn't like a sound stage and...?

-No.

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-No, they took me right into his office.

-He's sitting there.

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He's sitting there and he's smiling at me.

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-He said, "I want to see your show."

-Come on!

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-I swear to God.

-Come on!

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So I did the show and he laughed a lot. He liked it.

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Then he said, "More."

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I had been instructed not to do any more than the show.

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-So what happened?

-Well...

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I had one more piece called Bleetee, B-L-E-E-T-E-E,

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about what would happen if ET landed in Oakland.

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Now, Oakland, California at the time was a very...

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You know, it was a rough area, phones didn't work,

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so it was a whole thing.

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So Bleetee lands, he meets these two kids,

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they take him to the projects, he wants to phone home, no phones work.

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He then falls in with some guys who are running prostitutes

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and he gets a Jheri curl.

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I don't know if you remember, Jheri curls were...

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Black folks had this thing where we would put this stuff in our hair

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and it made it look wet and drippy.

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He had then a powder blue suit and he was running whores.

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When his people came to get him, he shot 'em up, he killed them,

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cos he...

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He didn't recognise... he didn't recognise his people.

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The whole point of doing Bleetee was to remind people

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that it's OK to assimilate, but you can never forget who you are.

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So he's on the floor and I'm thinking, "This can't be good."

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Then he said, "I want to talk to you.

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"I want you to play Celie in The Color Purple."

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I said, "Come on, man, what?!"

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He said, "Yeah." And I burst into tears.

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I said, "I think I could really suck at this."

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He said, "Have you sucked before?"

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LAUGHTER

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And I said, "I've got to tell you, yeah."

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He said, "Well, then, this one won't bother you."

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That's how I got to make that movie.

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Wow, and aren't we glad?

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APPLAUSE Yes.

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Jamie Dornan, you had an even earlier start in showbusiness.

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I believe it was a Christmas show.

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Were you four in your Christmas show?

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I was four when I got my big break. Yeah, four.

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-Yeah. You did have problems.

-Yeah, I had one line.

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It was a nativity play, which is familiar to most of us.

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-I was obviously one of the three wise men.

-Obviously.

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-You had a beard.

-Yeah, exactly.

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Yeah, yeah... I didn't.

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I had to...

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I'm from Northern Ireland,

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which is a peculiar little place where you speak quite funny.

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A lot of words sound the same.

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A lot of the words, you're not sure what you said.

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Anyway, I was the guy who brought the myrrh.

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Which, when I say it, is just like reflective glass.

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You know what I mean? So I was like...

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"So what have you brought?" "The gold." "You brought?"

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"The frankincense."

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I was like, "Oh, my God." "What have you brought?"

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I was like, "The MIRROR."

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LAUGHTER

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They asked me to repeat it.

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"I'm sorry?"

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I guess it's meant to sound slightly different to that.

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They went, "Again." I went, "I brought the MYRRH?"

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I put, like, a tiny different note on it.

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I like that Joseph asked you again. "What?!"

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-Wait, I'm sorry, how old were you?

-Four.

-Four!

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-I know.

-OK.

-Yeah.

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-That's tough.

-Yeah.

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No, but he made an adjustment to the dialogue.

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To the manor born, you changed it.

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You could see the star in me then,

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is what you're trying to say.

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MIRROR.

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LAUGHTER

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Talking of looking young, Keanu Reeves, you seem unchanged.

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That's not true.

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Well, you seem it, you seem it. Can I ask...? I know, but can I...?

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Tell the people how old you are.

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I'm 5-2.

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-GASPING

-Really?

-Yeah.

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I always think of you in your 30s.

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I know! Cos he looks it!

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-Yeah!

-52! Look what happened in a year.

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What did I do for the last 12 months?

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What have you been doing, man?

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I looked like that a year ago, I really did.

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Listen, Keanu Reeves, all suited and booted,

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ready to kick some ass in John Wick 2.

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-Well, it's John Wick: Chapter 2, isn't that what it's called?

-Yes.

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John Wick: Chapter 2. It's out on the 17th of February.

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Oddly, previews on Valentine's Day.

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I mean, it's a really enjoyable film. I'm not sure it's a date film.

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-It's really a date movie.

-Yeah.

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It is!

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No?

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-I'd go.

-Right?

-Yeah, hell yeah.

-Me too.

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If anyone isn't familiar with the character of dangerous John Wick,

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-explain who he is and the situation he's in.

-OK, sure.

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-So I play a character named John Wick.

-No.

-Yeah.

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In it I play a mythical, kind of, legendary assassin,

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but he fell in love and he's married.

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In the first film, John Wick,

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his wife passes away and he wants to retire. That story goes.

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In Chapter 2, he's trying to retire.

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The consequences of being an assassin revisit him,

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and I'm forced to kind of pay a debt.

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That's the beginning of it. John Wick is fighting for his life.

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He's fighting for John to just grieve and be left alone.

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But, my God, so many assassins in this film. It terrifies you.

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You come out of the cinema going...

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Yeah, there's a lot of people who want him dead. It's cool.

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The tone of John Wick, it's really great action,

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but there's humour and there's this kind of fantastical other world,

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hyper-reality of the underworld, of the criminal element,

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then there's the real world.

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So there's a really fun tone to the film.

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But, when you get to set, when you get to set...?

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Cos some of the people...

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-You know, you are fighting a lot of people in this thing.

-Yeah, yeah.

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Some of the people are just, like, men mountains.

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I mean, they're just 7'2". You must think, "Really?"

0:17:260:17:29

No, man, I'm John Wick. No, no, John Wick.

0:17:290:17:34

John Wick's got will, he's fighting for his life.

0:17:340:17:37

There's no mountain he can't climb. He'll knock them down.

0:17:370:17:41

Listen, I love this guy, I do, I do.

0:17:410:17:43

I feel like if he can beat 'em, I have a shot.

0:17:430:17:49

I've seen and I know he's confident, I go right behind him,

0:17:510:17:55

"Yeah, I'll kick... Come on."

0:17:550:17:57

-Cos he makes you believe that you could do anything.

-Yes!

0:17:570:18:01

-I think so anyway.

-Awesome.

-Yeah.

0:18:010:18:03

Not a broken bone, a few scratches...

0:18:030:18:06

You do get hurt, though, John Wick gets hurt.

0:18:060:18:08

John Wick does get hurt, yeah.

0:18:080:18:09

The director takes quite a glee in really knock...

0:18:090:18:13

Getting hit by cars, getting thrown through windows, getting shot,

0:18:130:18:17

getting stabbed.

0:18:170:18:19

Also, you know, he mixes techniques, so there's judo, Jiu Jitsu,

0:18:190:18:23

then gun work.

0:18:230:18:24

I had a lot of great teachers. I try to do as much action as I can.

0:18:240:18:28

Well, in our clip, you're talking.

0:18:280:18:30

-This is you as a...

-Laurence Fishburne!

0:18:320:18:36

Yes, with your old friend Laurence Fishburne. Here we go.

0:18:360:18:39

He's offered 7 million for your life.

0:18:390:18:42

7 million is a lot of money, Mr Wick.

0:18:420:18:46

So I guess you have a choice.

0:18:520:18:55

You want a war or do you want to just give me a gun?

0:18:550:18:59

Somebody, please, get this man a gun!

0:19:010:19:06

Let's go.

0:19:160:19:17

Now, obviously, John Wick 2. There were three Matrixes. Matrixeses.

0:19:250:19:29

-I don't know how you say that.

-Sure.

0:19:290:19:31

How do you...? Is it Matrixi?

0:19:310:19:34

-It's just The Matrix.

-Matrices, I've just been told in my ear, Matrices.

0:19:340:19:38

Who told you that?

0:19:380:19:39

Who told you Matrices?

0:19:410:19:43

-You know that's not right.

-Yeah...

0:19:470:19:49

Yeah, he speaks, I speak. That's what happens.

0:19:490:19:53

Talking of sequels, much excitement...

0:19:530:19:56

Well, maybe, is it true? Bill & Ted 3?

0:19:560:19:59

CHEERING

0:19:590:20:01

-Oh, wow.

-Please, please.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, man, of course.

0:20:010:20:04

Cool. All right, Bill & Ted, still alive.

0:20:040:20:07

No, but I heard this is a thing. Haven't you talked about this?

0:20:070:20:10

Yeah, yeah. The writers had a story and we're trying to make it. Yeah.

0:20:100:20:17

So where are Bill and Ted now? They must be in their 50s now?

0:20:170:20:21

Yeah, it would be Bill and Ted in their 50s.

0:20:210:20:25

I mean, that just makes me laugh right there.

0:20:250:20:28

I mean, what happened to these guys?

0:20:280:20:30

But there's a cool story.

0:20:300:20:33

Basically they're supposed to write a song to save the world

0:20:330:20:35

and they haven't done that.

0:20:350:20:37

So...so the pressure of having to save the world, you know,

0:20:370:20:43

their marriages are falling apart, their kids are kind of mad at them.

0:20:430:20:47

But then someone comes from the future and tells them if they

0:20:470:20:50

don't write the song, it's not just the world now, it's the universe.

0:20:500:20:54

So they have to save the universe because, you know,

0:20:540:20:57

time is breaking apart. So then elements of the past are...

0:20:570:21:02

Whoopi's really into it, by the way.

0:21:020:21:04

-I must be person from the...

-You're in it!

0:21:040:21:06

I have to be the person from the future, I have to be.

0:21:060:21:09

Oh, I would so love to go and see Bill & Ted 3 and you're in it...

0:21:090:21:12

-LAUGHTER

-Well, yeah, why not?

0:21:120:21:15

-Yeah, there's totally a role for you.

-Cos I can't get in a movie with him.

0:21:150:21:18

You know, it's just not going to happen.

0:21:200:21:23

Maybe not those movies, but, like, you know...

0:21:230:21:25

Oh, right, OK. You find someone with some clothes on, I'll come in.

0:21:250:21:27

LAUGHTER

0:21:270:21:31

APPLAUSE

0:21:310:21:33

The air guitar thing,

0:21:360:21:37

is that something, if you're ever in a bar and a guitar song comes in,

0:21:370:21:41

do people just look at you like, "He's going to, he's going to"?

0:21:410:21:45

Yeah, which is kind of cool in a way, it's still alive.

0:21:450:21:49

So the idea is you say "Excellent", and then things happen.

0:21:490:21:51

-Yeah, you do that thing, yeah.

-(OK, say "Excellent", say "Excellent.")

0:21:510:21:54

-What?

-(Go on.) Say "Excellent".

0:21:540:21:56

OK, I'm going to use this like I'm training.

0:21:560:21:58

You're doing the movie again, you're doing Bill & Ted 3.

0:21:580:22:00

Excellent!

0:22:000:22:02

GUITAR RIFF PLAYS

0:22:020:22:05

Bad! Bad Keanu Reeves!

0:22:050:22:09

That was terrible.

0:22:090:22:10

-Right, Jamie Dornan.

-Hello.

0:22:120:22:14

Giving us another hugely anticipated sequel - Fifty Shades Darker.

0:22:140:22:18

-Uh-huh.

-WHOOPING

0:22:180:22:19

It's out tonight. WHOOPI CHUCKLES

0:22:190:22:23

Come on, Whoopi.

0:22:230:22:24

Give us a break.

0:22:250:22:26

No, no, cos every time I hear Fifty Shades Darker, I think,

0:22:260:22:31

"Who do I know?"

0:22:310:22:33

You know, cos in the sun, that's what happens to me.

0:22:340:22:37

You'll get it later.

0:22:380:22:40

The first one was such a massive success.

0:22:420:22:45

Is it true it caused a bit of a mini population explosion,

0:22:450:22:49

-the first movie?

-It apparently did, yeah.

0:22:490:22:51

Yeah, there was a bit of a baby boom.

0:22:510:22:54

-Yeah, which is a lovely thing.

-That is nice.

0:22:560:23:00

But, actually, something really lovely happened to me in a lift...

0:23:000:23:05

Oh, yes? LAUGHTER

0:23:050:23:07

I was in a lift. You can't really get away when you're in a lift.

0:23:090:23:13

There's nowhere to go.

0:23:130:23:15

I got recognised by a very lovely woman who said, "Oh, you're..."

0:23:150:23:21

She was more animated than what I'm doing.

0:23:210:23:23

She was like, "Oh, my God, you're Jamie Dornan."

0:23:230:23:26

I said, "Oh, yeah, thanks. Yeah, that's right"

0:23:260:23:29

I was like, "What floor are we going to?"

0:23:290:23:31

Just trying to change the subject.

0:23:310:23:33

She said, "You know what?

0:23:330:23:35

"For years, my husband and I struggled to conceive.

0:23:350:23:40

"We thought we were going to do IVF

0:23:400:23:43

"and were starting to look at other channels,

0:23:430:23:46

"then after your movie came out, we made a baby naturally."

0:23:460:23:52

Yeah, isn't that nice?

0:23:520:23:54

-Wow.

-I know.

0:23:540:23:56

It is so hard to know how to respond to something like that.

0:23:560:24:00

Got it. Thank you.

0:24:000:24:02

Yeah.

0:24:030:24:05

It was, um... Yeah, it was a nice moment.

0:24:050:24:07

But you want to inspire people with your work.

0:24:070:24:10

-Whatever it takes.

-Yeah, hey, he put the work in.

0:24:100:24:15

Fifty Shades Darker, but, actually, this isn't darker.

0:24:150:24:18

It's more romantic, I would say.

0:24:180:24:19

Yeah, I think that's probably true, yeah.

0:24:190:24:22

Yes. There's probably more sex in it...

0:24:220:24:26

GIGGLING

0:24:260:24:27

LAUGHTER

0:24:270:24:29

More sex?! Jamie doesn't speak.

0:24:290:24:32

No.

0:24:320:24:33

I make noises.

0:24:340:24:36

I make, like...American-accented noises throughout.

0:24:380:24:43

Yeah, that's actually a question, though - do they let you do that?

0:24:430:24:46

When you're doing the scenes, does the director say,

0:24:460:24:50

"More vocalisation" or do they say less?

0:24:500:24:54

There's often stuff...

0:24:540:24:56

JAMIE CHUCKLES

0:24:560:24:58

-It's like...

-KEANU SCREAMS

0:24:580:25:00

-They're like, "No, that's not good."

-No-one comes like that.

0:25:000:25:04

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:25:040:25:07

Yeah, they do.

0:25:070:25:08

Yeah, they do, man.

0:25:080:25:10

There are some scenes where they will play music, maybe...

0:25:100:25:16

If it's a wide shot and it's not all...

0:25:160:25:19

It's the closest we get to sort of, kind of,

0:25:190:25:22

just going for it in one piece. They'll play music or something.

0:25:220:25:27

My temptation is always just to try to make Dakota laugh.

0:25:270:25:30

Sometimes I'll do things like...

0:25:300:25:32

When there's a moment where I'm meant to, you know, orgasm,

0:25:320:25:36

I'll be like...

0:25:360:25:37

# Doodle-do do-do-do! #

0:25:370:25:38

LAUGHTER

0:25:380:25:41

See, people do that.

0:25:410:25:43

Which, by the way, if they don't, they should.

0:25:430:25:47

It's like a Ryanair flight when a Ryanair flight lands,

0:25:470:25:50

# Doodle-do do-do-do. #

0:25:500:25:52

Was it nicer for you this time?

0:25:590:26:01

Because last time it was you and everyone else was a woman -

0:26:010:26:05

the director and everybody.

0:26:050:26:07

-This time, it's a man directing.

-It is.

0:26:070:26:09

Did that make a difference?

0:26:090:26:10

Och, no, not really, to be honest. I mean, I think whoever is tasked

0:26:100:26:14

with directing those kind of scenes...

0:26:140:26:17

I mean, these guys know, sex scenes are awkward anyway.

0:26:170:26:21

It just needs a very...

0:26:210:26:23

This is why I love him.

0:26:230:26:26

Cos he includes me.

0:26:260:26:28

"These guys know, sex scenes are just really hard."

0:26:280:26:31

It's like, "No, babe."

0:26:310:26:33

-Have you never done a sex scene?

-No...

0:26:330:26:36

-What?

-But you've been in so many films.

0:26:360:26:39

-Surely somebody at some point...?

-No. No, no, no, no.

0:26:390:26:42

-Not in Back In The Habit?

-No.

0:26:420:26:46

There might have been a couple of people under that habit,

0:26:460:26:49

but nothing that anybody would see. No, no, no. No.

0:26:490:26:52

-Was that your decision?

-No.

0:26:520:26:56

No.

0:26:570:26:59

There's still time for that kind of thing.

0:26:590:27:02

Well, I don't know.

0:27:020:27:04

But it's fun to watch other people kind of get it on.

0:27:040:27:08

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Mm-hmm.

0:27:090:27:11

Hey, let's watch a clip.

0:27:110:27:12

This is you talking.

0:27:150:27:16

-This is you and Dakota Johnson at an auction.

-Great.

0:27:180:27:23

-This is going at 10,000.

-10,000.

0:27:230:27:26

Thank you, ma'am. 10,000.

0:27:260:27:28

I didn't know you had a place in Aspen.

0:27:280:27:29

I have a lot of places.

0:27:290:27:31

We have some ski lovers in the room tonight.

0:27:310:27:34

-19.

-19,000. Thank you, sir.

0:27:340:27:36

-A week of luxury in America's finest ski resort.

-24,000.

0:27:360:27:41

New blood. 24,000, I am bid. Do I hear 25,000?

0:27:410:27:47

That money was for you.

0:27:470:27:48

Now it'll go to someone who needs it.

0:27:480:27:50

I don't know whether to worship at your feet or spank you.

0:27:500:27:54

24,000 going once...

0:27:540:27:57

I think I'll take option two.

0:27:580:28:01

Sold to the young lady in silver.

0:28:010:28:04

Oh!

0:28:040:28:05

Very good. OK, it's time to meet my next guest.

0:28:100:28:13

Just listen to these films.

0:28:130:28:15

Malcolm X, Training Day,

0:28:150:28:16

Philadelphia, American Gangster, Man On Fire -

0:28:160:28:19

he's starred in them all and more.

0:28:190:28:20

It's always a pleasure to welcome back to the show

0:28:200:28:23

the great Denzel Washington!

0:28:230:28:24

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:240:28:28

Hello!

0:28:280:28:29

Really lovely to see you.

0:28:290:28:31

Good to see you, brother. How are you doing?

0:28:360:28:39

How are you doing? Nice to meet you.

0:28:390:28:40

Shove down a little, tiny bit. Denzel Washington.

0:28:400:28:43

CHEERING Listen to that.

0:28:430:28:46

All the love. The love, the love.

0:28:460:28:49

-Welcome back, sir, lovely to see you.

-Good to be seen by you.

0:28:490:28:52

Now, you know the guys. You've worked with Keanu.

0:28:520:28:54

- I haven't seen you in how long? - I don't know.

0:28:540:28:56

We've passed each other once in a while, here and there, but, yeah.

0:28:560:28:59

Did you work in Britain? Did you make Much Ado About Nothing here?

0:28:590:29:02

No. Greve.

0:29:020:29:03

- Greve! - Greve, outside of Florence.

0:29:030:29:04

Oh, posh.

0:29:040:29:05

Whoopi Goldberg, of course, was it you gave Whoopi her Oscar?

0:29:070:29:12

Yes. Yes, you did.

0:29:120:29:14

Did you see this picture? We look like four-year-olds. Look at that.

0:29:160:29:20

-You know why I was so skinny? I was working on Ricochet.

-Oh.

0:29:200:29:23

While we were doing the Oscars, around that time.

0:29:230:29:26

-You're still skinny.

-Black, black is the key. Black.

0:29:260:29:29

Legs crossed, black.

0:29:290:29:31

So, your new movie is fabulous. It's Fences.

0:29:340:29:37

It's in selected cinemas tonight, then it's everywhere next Friday.

0:29:370:29:42

This is the first time the famous August Wilson play

0:29:420:29:45

has been filmed, and you star in it and you directed it.

0:29:450:29:48

Congratulations, Oscar-nominated.

0:29:480:29:51

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:510:29:53

Alongside Viola Davis, who's...

0:29:560:29:58

Viola Davis, is that like... You know that people say,

0:29:580:30:01

"Oh, if you play tennis against a good person, you get better"?

0:30:010:30:03

-Mm-hmm.

-Acting with her must be a joy.

0:30:030:30:06

If you play tennis against a good person, you lose,

0:30:060:30:09

and then you get better.

0:30:090:30:11

You know, 16, 17 years ago, I directed my first film.

0:30:110:30:16

She was one of the first people I hired. I knew how good she was then.

0:30:160:30:20

When I decided to do the play, five or six years ago,

0:30:200:30:24

Scott Rudin and I produced it... Well, he produced it,

0:30:240:30:27

but the first person we decided to hire was Viola for the play.

0:30:270:30:31

She kills it. I mean, she's great in this movie.

0:30:310:30:35

I mean, in fairness, you all are.

0:30:350:30:37

Now, if people don't know the play, tell us about it.

0:30:370:30:40

It's about a family.

0:30:400:30:42

I play a man who was frustrated

0:30:420:30:44

because he didn't make it to the major leagues

0:30:440:30:47

because he was too old and because he was black.

0:30:470:30:49

That's what HE thinks.

0:30:490:30:51

His frustration and anger, if you will, is sort of...

0:30:510:30:57

Without giving it all away.

0:30:570:30:58

It's about fathers and sons, and husbands and wives...

0:30:580:31:04

and other women.

0:31:040:31:06

DENZEL CHUCKLES

0:31:060:31:08

It won the Pulitzer Prize as a play, multiple Tony Awards.

0:31:110:31:16

We revived it in 2010.

0:31:160:31:19

It actually broke the record for the most nominations for any play

0:31:190:31:22

in the history of the Tony Awards.

0:31:220:31:24

Viola won, I won, Best Revival, all of that.

0:31:240:31:28

So here we are now, six years after the play, and I directed the film.

0:31:280:31:33

We're up for Best Picture and Actor and Actress, and Adapted Screenplay.

0:31:330:31:37

August Wilson is up, I'm really happy about that.

0:31:370:31:40

Wow. It's a stunning, stunning film.

0:31:400:31:41

Your character is interesting, because you feel for him,

0:31:410:31:44

-and yet he is, really, quite unsympathetic.

-Yeah.

0:31:440:31:47

Well, he writes...

0:31:470:31:49

August Wilson writes ordinary, real people, warts and all.

0:31:490:31:53

Nobody is perfect, it's like life. And he's unapologetic.

0:31:530:31:58

You know, again, without giving it away, Troy is brutally honest.

0:31:580:32:04

OK, we've got a clip.

0:32:040:32:06

-This is yourself and Viola Davis discussing one of your sons.

-Uh-oh.

0:32:060:32:11

Why don't you go ahead and let the boy play football, Troy?

0:32:110:32:14

He just wants to be like you with the sports.

0:32:140:32:16

I don't want him to be like me.

0:32:160:32:18

I want him to get as far away from my life as he possibly can get.

0:32:180:32:20

You're the only decent thing that ever happened to me, Rose.

0:32:200:32:23

I wish him that. But I don't wish him nothing else from my life.

0:32:230:32:27

I decided 17 years ago that boy wasn't going to get involved

0:32:290:32:32

in no sports. Not after what they did to me in the sports.

0:32:320:32:34

Why don't you just admit you were too old for the major leagues?

0:32:340:32:37

-For once, why don't you just admit that?

-Telling me I was too old.

0:32:370:32:40

I just wasn't the right colour.

0:32:400:32:42

Hell, I'm 53 years old and can do better than Selkirk's 269 right now.

0:32:420:32:46

How were you going to play ball when you were over 40?

0:32:460:32:49

Sometimes I can't get no sense out of you.

0:32:490:32:50

I've got good sense, woman.

0:32:500:32:51

I've got sense enough not to let that boy get hurt playing no sports.

0:32:510:32:55

You're mothering the boy too much,

0:32:550:32:56

worrying about whether people like him or not.

0:32:560:32:58

Everything that boy do, he do for you.

0:32:580:33:01

He wants you to say, "Good job, son." That's all.

0:33:010:33:04

I ain't got time for that, Rose. He's alive, he's healthy.

0:33:040:33:07

He's got to make his own way, I made mine.

0:33:070:33:10

Ain't nobody going to hold his hand when he get out there in the world.

0:33:100:33:13

Times are changed, Troy. People change.

0:33:130:33:17

The world changing and you can't even see it.

0:33:170:33:20

-Thank you. That's actually one of the quieter scenes.

-Yeah...

0:33:260:33:31

There's a lot of...

0:33:310:33:32

-Those two-handers you have are sensational.

-Sensational.

0:33:320:33:36

But apparently on Broadway, like, people got involved.

0:33:360:33:40

In the film too. Our first screening in Westwood, and women...

0:33:400:33:45

Black, white, yellow, green and blue, started talking back.

0:33:450:33:49

It was interesting. We were cutting the film.

0:33:490:33:52

Vin Diesel was cutting his film up there too.

0:33:520:33:54

He came by, and his sister is his producing partner.

0:33:540:33:59

So I showed him the scene where Viola starts telling the truth

0:33:590:34:04

in a big way. He's sitting, like, where you are,

0:34:040:34:07

and his sister was sitting over there. Screen's up here.

0:34:070:34:09

I just started the scene, "Oh, just watch this."

0:34:090:34:11

She starts going in, and I start hearing, "Mm-hmm."

0:34:110:34:15

I look, and she was... It was like she'd left the room.

0:34:150:34:18

"That's right. Mm-hmm."

0:34:180:34:21

She just started building... I mean... There's...

0:34:240:34:28

It's so real, I guess, and honest, people get involved.

0:34:280:34:33

People literally sometimes get up

0:34:330:34:35

and start talking back to the screen.

0:34:350:34:37

Didn't that happen when you were on stage too?

0:34:370:34:39

Oh, yeah, in the play, forget it.

0:34:390:34:41

-Oh, forget it!

-You would hear somebody saying,

0:34:410:34:44

-"She ain't treating him right."

-"I'll take him."

-"I'll take him."

0:34:440:34:48

I won't give it...

0:34:500:34:52

I can't give it away, but he walks in with a little one,

0:34:520:34:56

and the women went, "Oh, Denzel."

0:34:560:34:58

LAUGHTER

0:34:580:35:01

"Hey, look, let me just go do this..."

0:35:010:35:05

But people get involved. Before they know it, they're in it.

0:35:050:35:08

I mean, it's a testament to how great a write August Wilson is.

0:35:080:35:12

Also, apparently, it was very different,

0:35:120:35:14

cos you filmed on location in Pittsburgh,

0:35:140:35:16

so it's quite different from an LA location or a New York location.

0:35:160:35:19

It was the best, because we were right there where he lives.

0:35:190:35:22

We were right there where August Wilson lived.

0:35:220:35:24

We were right there where a lot of people got involved.

0:35:240:35:28

There was a man who lived behind us, Mr Greenly.

0:35:280:35:30

He couldn't hear well, and he would come out every day and ask if

0:35:300:35:33

I wanted coffee, during the scene, or any time.

0:35:330:35:35

"Denzel, how are you?" "We're shooting now." "Huh?"

0:35:350:35:39

"We're shooting now, Mr Greenly." "You want some coffee?"

0:35:390:35:43

"Nah, we're going to go ahead and shoot." "Huh?

0:35:430:35:46

"Go on, make the movie. Go and make the movie.

0:35:460:35:48

"I'll be in the house."

0:35:480:35:50

He'd just come out.

0:35:510:35:52

He'd get a chair and sit, like he was watching a movie.

0:35:520:35:56

It was like he was watching the movie.

0:35:560:35:58

The movie was in his back yard.

0:35:580:36:00

I'm not going to see it, I've seen it.

0:36:000:36:02

-Know what was sweet? Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.

-No, no.

0:36:020:36:05

We had a screening in Pittsburgh,

0:36:050:36:08

and he came in a suit and tie and just proud.

0:36:080:36:10

He still couldn't hear, so he had a guy whisper in his ear

0:36:100:36:13

to tell him what we were saying, you know?

0:36:130:36:16

But he was so proud... He was, he was...

0:36:160:36:18

Well, he wasn't in the movie, but he was a part of it.

0:36:180:36:21

-It's like he made it. Yeah.

-Yeah, he really directed it.

0:36:210:36:25

Listen, good luck with the film. Good luck on the 26th at the Oscars.

0:36:250:36:29

-Thank you.

-Presumably your lovely wife will be going with you.

0:36:290:36:33

-My wife is right back there.

-Oh, really? Oh, wow.

0:36:330:36:35

She's back there because she wants to see some folks out here.

0:36:350:36:39

There's some folks she wants to see.

0:36:390:36:41

And my son, who's an actor, he does a show... A father's shameless plug.

0:36:410:36:46

..Ballers, which co-stars with The Rock.

0:36:460:36:49

- He loves you. - Oh, yeah?

0:36:490:36:52

So she was trying to get him on the phone so he could say hi.

0:36:520:36:54

- Oh, I'll say hi. - But at least take a picture.

0:36:540:36:56

I'll try not to keep you. LAUGHTER

0:36:560:36:59

Sorry you've got to do this boring shit.

0:37:020:37:05

There's going to be a photo out there.

0:37:080:37:09

Whoopi is having a photo with Jamie, yeah. We'll set up a photo studio.

0:37:090:37:13

It'll be lovely.

0:37:130:37:14

It's music time. This man went from the underground hip-hop scene

0:37:140:37:18

to top of the charts, and has just won the Brits Critics' Choice Award.

0:37:180:37:22

Here performing the hit single Human, it's Rag'n'Bone Man.

0:37:220:37:25

CHEERING

0:37:250:37:28

# I'm only human

0:37:320:37:34

# I'm only, I'm only

0:37:350:37:37

# I'm only human

0:37:390:37:41

# Human

0:37:410:37:42

# Maybe I'm foolish

0:37:430:37:45

# Maybe I'm blind

0:37:450:37:46

# Thinking I can see through this

0:37:460:37:48

# And see what's behind

0:37:480:37:50

# Got no way to prove it

0:37:500:37:51

# So maybe I'm blind

0:37:510:37:55

# But I'm only human after all

0:37:550:37:58

# I'm only human after all

0:37:580:38:01

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:010:38:02

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:040:38:06

# Take a look in the mirror

0:38:090:38:11

# And what do you see?

0:38:110:38:12

# Do you see it clearer

0:38:120:38:14

# Or are you deceived

0:38:140:38:17

# In what you believe?

0:38:170:38:19

# Cos I'm only human after all

0:38:200:38:23

# And you're only human after all

0:38:230:38:26

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:260:38:28

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:290:38:31

# Some people got the real problems

0:38:340:38:37

# Some people out of luck

0:38:370:38:40

# Some people think I can solve them

0:38:400:38:44

# Lord heavens above

0:38:440:38:46

# I'm only human after all

0:38:460:38:49

# I'm only human after all

0:38:490:38:52

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:520:38:55

# Don't put the blame on me

0:38:550:38:57

# Don't ask my opinion

0:39:000:39:02

# Don't ask me to lie

0:39:020:39:03

# Then beg for forgiveness

0:39:030:39:05

# For making you cry

0:39:050:39:07

# For making you cry

0:39:080:39:11

# Cos I'm only human after all

0:39:110:39:15

# You're only human after all

0:39:150:39:17

# Don't put the blame on me

0:39:170:39:19

# Don't put the blame on me

0:39:200:39:23

# Oh, some people got the real problems

0:39:240:39:29

# Some people out of luck

0:39:290:39:31

# Some people think I can solve them

0:39:320:39:35

# Lord heavens above

0:39:350:39:37

# I'm only human after all

0:39:370:39:40

# I'm only human after all

0:39:400:39:43

# Don't put the blame on me

0:39:430:39:46

# Don't put the blame on me

0:39:460:39:48

# Cos I'm only human

0:39:500:39:51

# I make mistakes

0:39:510:39:53

# I'm only human

0:39:530:39:55

# That's all it takes

0:39:550:39:56

# To put the blame on me

0:39:560:39:59

# Don't put the blame on me

0:39:590:40:01

# Cos I'm no prophet or Messiah

0:40:040:40:08

# You should go looking somewhere higher

0:40:110:40:18

# Cos I'm only human after all

0:40:190:40:23

# I'm only human after all

0:40:230:40:26

# Don't put the blame on me

0:40:260:40:27

# Don't put the blame on me

0:40:290:40:31

# Cos I'm only human

0:40:330:40:34

# I do what I can

0:40:340:40:36

# I'm just a man

0:40:360:40:38

# I do what I can

0:40:380:40:39

# Don't put your blame on me

0:40:390:40:42

# Don't put your blame on me. #

0:40:430:40:46

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:480:40:50

Wow!

0:40:500:40:51

Beautiful!

0:40:530:40:56

Rag'n'Bone Man, great job. Come over here.

0:40:560:40:59

Come and join us.

0:40:590:41:00

That was so gorgeous.

0:41:000:41:02

Thank you very much. Come in, sit down.

0:41:020:41:04

That's Jamie Dornan, Keanu, Whoopi, Denzel, there we all are.

0:41:040:41:10

Very good.

0:41:100:41:11

Whoo!

0:41:110:41:13

-Have a seat.

-I'll go for a small one.

0:41:130:41:15

-Wait, wait, wait, come on here, man.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, man.

-All right.

0:41:150:41:21

Because I was watching you from a distance,

0:41:210:41:24

I didn't quite understand just how big you are.

0:41:240:41:27

Well, that's very nice of you to say.

0:41:290:41:32

-You're like one of the people Keanu Reeves beats up in John Wick.

-OK.

0:41:320:41:37

Right, so that is Human off the album of the same name, Human.

0:41:370:41:43

-Here we go. That is out now, isn't it?

-It is.

-In all formats.

-Today.

0:41:430:41:48

-Today?

-Yeah.

-Spread the word, guys, spread the word.

0:41:480:41:51

-And it's called I'm Only Human?

-It's called Human.

0:41:510:41:53

-Human.

-Just Human.

0:41:530:41:54

-Just Human.

-Got you.

-(Human.)

0:41:540:41:57

-I should say I can call you Rory, right?

-Yes.

0:41:570:42:00

That's the name my mother gave me, so...

0:42:000:42:02

-OK, let's use it.

-Perfect.

0:42:020:42:06

-Here's the thing, you were bubbling along, you were doing hip-hop.

-Yes.

0:42:060:42:11

And so... Did you know you could sing like that?

0:42:110:42:14

Kind of.

0:42:140:42:15

I used to sing a little bit in the shower and, you know,

0:42:150:42:19

the places that people sing.

0:42:190:42:20

But I kind of realised it was in tune, and then...

0:42:200:42:26

And then my old man said,

0:42:260:42:28

"Have a couple of beers and go and sing on stage."

0:42:280:42:31

So that's what I did.

0:42:310:42:32

Cos I was a bit nervous, you know, stage fright, a little bit.

0:42:320:42:35

But you only do it one time. You do it one time, it takes one time.

0:42:350:42:40

Well, this is the place I want to be, yeah.

0:42:400:42:43

Because you'd been working in hip-hop, doing MCing and stuff

0:42:430:42:46

on a lower level, like, are you enjoying the success?

0:42:460:42:49

Like, does it suit you?

0:42:490:42:51

Yeah.

0:42:510:42:52

LAUGHTER

0:42:520:42:55

APPLAUSE

0:42:550:42:58

Kind of, kind of.

0:42:580:43:00

Listen, good luck, cos you're up for Best Breakthrough Artist

0:43:000:43:03

-at the Brits in a couple of weeks.

-I am indeed.

-So you'll be there.

0:43:030:43:06

-Best of luck to you. I hope it goes well.

-Thank you.

0:43:060:43:08

Thanks for doing that. It was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

0:43:080:43:10

Rag'n'Bone Man, everybody. CHEERING

0:43:100:43:13

OK. That's nearly everything.

0:43:130:43:15

We've just got time for a visit to the Big Red Chair. Who's there?

0:43:150:43:18

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, what's your name?

-My name's Anita.

-Anita, lovely.

0:43:180:43:22

Where do you live, Anita?

0:43:220:43:24

I live in Manchester, and it's my birthday today.

0:43:240:43:28

LAUGHTER

0:43:280:43:30

-What?!

-What does she want, a prize?!

0:43:340:43:38

We were all born!

0:43:380:43:41

-What is that?

-That is cold, man, that is cold.

0:43:430:43:46

"It's my birthday", whatever!

0:43:460:43:49

But you're only human, though, Graham, too!

0:43:490:43:51

-Oh, he's quoting your song back at you.

-Yeah, Denzel.

0:43:510:43:55

Let's reload the chair.

0:43:550:43:57

Hello.

0:43:590:44:00

-Hello.

-What's your name?

-Eleanor.

-Eleanor, lovely.

0:44:000:44:03

What do you do, Eleanor?

0:44:030:44:04

-I'm a charity campaigner.

-A charity campaigner. She's staying.

0:44:040:44:07

She's staying right there.

0:44:070:44:09

OK, off you go with your story.

0:44:090:44:11

Well, a while ago I was going on dates through Tinder,

0:44:110:44:14

and I met a nice guy and conversation was flowing.

0:44:140:44:18

We were talking about Bristol,

0:44:180:44:19

where my family is from and where he was from.

0:44:190:44:23

We decided to go out on a second date, so I gave him my number.

0:44:230:44:26

When I got home, he messaged me, and his surname came up on my phone.

0:44:260:44:30

It was quite an unusual surname, same as my mum's surname.

0:44:300:44:34

That's when I realised I'd gone on a date with my cousin.

0:44:340:44:37

Oh, that's not right. That's...

0:44:370:44:39

You look sheepish. It wasn't you, was it?

0:44:440:44:47

You look a bit like... "This is very awkward."

0:44:470:44:50

Shall we have one more?

0:44:500:44:52

Yes, OK. OK, here we go. This is the one.

0:44:520:44:55

Hello, sir, what's your name?

0:44:550:44:57

-Hello, I'm Ed.

-Ed, lovely. Where are you from, Ed?

0:44:570:44:59

-I'm from York, but I live in London.

-Excellent.

0:44:590:45:01

A lot of information right there to process. What do you do in London?

0:45:010:45:05

-I'm a research technician.

-Oh, he's quite vague. Nothing good, I'd say.

0:45:050:45:10

OK, Ed, off you go with your story.

0:45:110:45:13

So a couple of years ago, I used to work in a coffee shop.

0:45:130:45:16

I was making a flat white for a customer,

0:45:160:45:18

which is the one with the nice, little floret pattern on the top.

0:45:180:45:21

-Oh, yes.

-But I was in a bit of a rush.

0:45:210:45:23

I thought the coffee I'd made was OK,

0:45:230:45:25

and I was about to hand it to the customer when my friend tapped on

0:45:250:45:28

my shoulder and said, "Um, you might want to take a second look at that."

0:45:280:45:32

So I looked down, and sure enough, instead of a nice,

0:45:320:45:35

pretty floret pattern, I'd managed to make a penis.

0:45:350:45:38

This put me in a bit of a dilemma.

0:45:380:45:40

I was like, "Do I give it to him and hope he's not noticed,

0:45:400:45:44

"or do I say, 'I'm sorry, sir, I've put a cock in your coffee'?"

0:45:440:45:49

So I decided to just give it to him and hope he didn't notice.

0:45:500:45:53

He looked down at it and went, "Oh.

0:45:530:45:56

I've never had one of those in my coffee before."

0:45:560:46:00

That's it.

0:46:000:46:01

That's quite a good story. Shall we let him walk?

0:46:010:46:03

Yeah, he can walk.

0:46:030:46:05

Well done. Well done, everyone.

0:46:080:46:10

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go on the Red Chair,

0:46:100:46:12

you can contact us via our website, to this very address.

0:46:120:46:15

That is it for tonight. Please say thank you to my guests -

0:46:150:46:17

Rag'n'Bone Man...

0:46:170:46:21

Jamie Dornan...

0:46:210:46:24

Keanu Reeves...

0:46:240:46:26

Whoopi Goldberg...

0:46:260:46:29

Denzel Washington.

0:46:290:46:32

Join me next week with rap star Tinie Tempah, actress Ruth Wilson,

0:46:320:46:36

comedian Ricky Gervais,

0:46:360:46:38

and actors Joshua McGuire, Daniel Radcliffe

0:46:380:46:40

and Tom Hiddleston.

0:46:400:46:41

I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye.

0:46:410:46:44

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:46:440:46:47

On Graham's sofa are Oscar winner Denzel Washington, appearing in Fences, Fifty Shades star Jamie Dornan, Hollywood great Keanu Reeves, starring in John Wick: Chapter 2, and legendary comedian and actress Whoopi Goldberg. With music from Rag'n'Bone Man, who performs Human.