Episode 17 The Graham Norton Show

Hey, I'm Whoopi Goldberg, and this is the Graham Norton Show.

CHEERING

Oh! Oh! Hello!

Hello, everybody! Hello!

Hello! Hi! Hi! Oh!

Hello, everybody!

And welcome! You're very welcome.

We've got a great show for you tonight.

Look at you all out there.

Everyone looking forward to Valentine's Day?

WHOOPING Are you? Are you?

Have you all got plans for taking your loved one

somewhere nice and exclusive?

GROANING

Look at you thinking, "This is it. It's happening now."

Now, I wonder, are there are any single women in the audience?

CHEERING

I think you may enjoy the couch.

You single women, so lucky.

With no relationship ties on Valentine's night,

you can stay in and have a threesome with Ben & Jerry.

VOICE BREAKING: I'm enjoying my me time.

Ice cream with a salty tear sauce.

Classic.

Music, of course, very important for setting the mood

on Valentine's night.

Anything will do, you know, CD player, MP3 player,

just make sure you don't have one of those annoying little speakers.

You know. Yeah.

Now, speaking of romance, ladies and gentlemen,

Nigel Farage has been in the news again. I know.

This time, Nigel has denied he's having a relationship

with a French woman who's been living in his house.

Now, Nigel's wife said

they have in fact been living apart for a while.

And as she reminded Nigel, "Leave does mean leave."

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm imagining for Nigel it was quite a soft exit.

Let's get the guests on!

Later we'll be joined by Hollywood superstar Denzel Washington.

And British Blues singer Rag'n'Bone Man

will be performing his huge hit, Human.

But first, he sent shivers down our spine in The Fall,

and now he's back as seductive billionaire Christian Grey

in Fifty Shades Darker, it's Jamie Dornan.

Oh! Oh!

-Hello, sir.

-Hello.

-Lovely to see you.

-Yes, hugging, hugging.

-Hugging.

-Showbiz hugging.

Sit yourself down.

This man has been one of Hollywood's biggest stars for over 30 years,

in Bill & Ted, Speed, The Matrix.

Now he returns as hit man John Wick. It's only the fabulous Keanu Reeves.

Hello.

Have a seat, do.

And with an Oscar, a Grammy,

three Emmys and a Tony to her name,

she's quite simply a Hollywood legend.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Whoopi Goldberg!

Hello.

-So good to see you.

-And you. Thank you.

Lovely to see you all. Welcome, welcome.

Now, welcome back, all.

You've all been... I say welcome back.

Whoopi, you've never done the show in this country.

-Not in this country, no.

-No, in America, you were on.

Yes, well, you always come over. You used to come over.

-No more. No, no.

-Now you're not doing it any more.

Well, the pound is so weak.

I am just...

Well, it's a very exotic sofa, because, you know, the names.

AIRILY: Whoopi Goldberg. Keanu Reeves.

ABRUPTLY: Jamie Dornan.

Yeah...

No, cos Whoopi is not... Whoopi isn't...

I mean, nobody christened you Whoopi.

No, no-one did.

What were you actually called? Caryn?

-Caryn, yeah.

-Caryn? Why the Whoopi, then?

Because I was a bit of a farter.

I always thought that was a joke. Is that real?

I rarely lie.

Rarely.

No, you know, the theatres I worked in were so small,

they didn't have a lot of backstage room, so if you were gassier...

all the way through.

People would say, "You are like a Whoopee Cushion."

-So that's how... That's what it was, that's what it became.

-Oh.

-Yes.

So are you one of those walkers and farters?

Well, I was a skipper and farter.

Keanu is such an exotic name, but that is your real name.

Yes, sir. That is my name.

Yes.

What does it mean, now? Is it from Hawaii?

Yes, it's a Hawaiian name and it means

"Cool breeze over the mountains."

-Ooh.

-Remind you of anything?

Yeah.

My little brother right here, Cool Breeze.

APPLAUSE

Jamie Dornan, isn't it true that you can spot a Fifty Shades fan now?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Well, over fans of The Fall, I don't think...

I mean, there's a crossover,

but Fifty Shades fans are...

their own kind of, um, thing.

So, when you're walking down the street with your wife,

does she go, "There's one coming. I see her. She's coming."

No, you know, there's a sort of a look in their eyes

and a sort of desire beyond the normal person

who's just going to pass you in the street, I'll say that.

Have you seen the first one, Whoopi?

-Yes, I have.

-Oh.

It's weird meeting Jamie now, isn't it?

No, you know, at one point, you know, it would have -

if it was ten years ago, it probably would have been weird.

But now, you know, I look and I see just a really great kid,

a great actor.

It's, like, you can't go after this.

You can't go after this.

You can't flirt, you've got to just kind of be old.

-Have you seen it, Keanu?

-Yeah.

I'll leave it there.

-Now, Whoopi Goldberg, ladies and gentlemen, returns!

-Uh-oh.

You were last on the London stage seven years ago,

and now you're back at the Palladium doing a one-woman show.

It's tomorrow night.

It's already sold out, so they're doing a second later show.

-What time does it start?

-Oh... About 10.30, 11.

-I think it's 11.

-Might be 11.

-Have you met British people at 11?

Why do you think I came back?

Yeah.

-That's going to be quite a show.

-I think so. I think so.

-I'm so ready for it. You know...

-They'll be really ready for it.

You bring a Guinness, I'll bring a Guinness, we'll all party together.

So what can people expect in the show?

It's more you than characters, it's more like stand-up.

It's my version. It's about, you know...

It's about what happens when you don't realise

that you have gotten older.

I tell you, I went to a Steely Dan concert recently.

I was looking around, I thought,

"Damn, there's some old people at this concert."

There were all these old hippies and stuff.

"Do they know how old...?"

And then I passed a mirror.

I was like, "Oh, shit!

"Me too!"

So it's about waking up and realising

you're not the youngest thing in the room any more,

but all the things that that entails,

cos everything is on the floor, you're picking it up,

you're putting it on your head.

It's a whole thing.

Guys, all the stuff that happens to y'all.

WHOOPI CHUCKLES

-LAUGHTER

-You know...

-What happens to us?!

Come to the show, I'll tell you everything.

Weren't you talking about the mysterious hair loss for women?

You mean the balding pudenda?

-That's what I mean. Yes.

-What?

-The balding pudenda.

-Pudenda?

-Yes.

-Pudenda.

-Yeah, I've got you.

What is that?

-Well, in one's youth...

-Wait, do I want to know what this is?

I don't know, I don't know if you do.

-But I will just put it this way.

-Let's hear it.

There was once a time where....

I don't even know if I should tell it.

-I'm really scared!

-Tell it, tell it.

I can't believe you don't know what a pudenda is.

Can you say pubic hair? I can say pubic hair?

Pubic hair? Yes!

AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS

You're not a doctor, but we'll still let you.

-Once where there was an afro...

-Right.

..that I could put beads on and braid...

LAUGHTER

-Wow!

-Yeah.

..there is now Paul Shaffer's head.

Paul... Oh, OK. OK.

OK, empty bald. There we go.

But there's more to it, but you have to come.

You have to...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

They seem willing, they seem willing.

They do seem willing.

Here's the thing, ladies and gentlemen, Whoopi Goldberg,

your first big film role,

-your first Oscar nomination, The Color Purple.

-Yes.

The audition for that, for Steven Spielberg,

did you do, like, a whole show for him?

Yeah, I'd been doing my show in New York.

When we were just about finished, my manager said,

"Oh, Steven Spielberg can't make it to the show in New York.

"He'd like you to come to LA and do your show at Amblin Studios",

which is his studio.

I was like, "What?!"

They said, "He wants you to come." I said, "But why?"

"Cos he wants to see the show."

I said, "Oh, OK." Cos I thought they were kidding.

So when I got to Los Angeles and got to the studio I thought,

"Oh, maybe this is real." So I go in.

His secretary comes and he comes and gets me.

All I can think of is, "Oh, shit."

Wait, wait, there's, like, no other people there?

-No, it's just...

-There wasn't like a sound stage and...?

-No.

-No, they took me right into his office.

-He's sitting there.

He's sitting there and he's smiling at me.

-He said, "I want to see your show."

-Come on!

-I swear to God.

-Come on!

So I did the show and he laughed a lot. He liked it.

Then he said, "More."

I had been instructed not to do any more than the show.

-So what happened?

-Well...

I had one more piece called Bleetee, B-L-E-E-T-E-E,

about what would happen if ET landed in Oakland.

Now, Oakland, California at the time was a very...

You know, it was a rough area, phones didn't work,

so it was a whole thing.

So Bleetee lands, he meets these two kids,

they take him to the projects, he wants to phone home, no phones work.

He then falls in with some guys who are running prostitutes

and he gets a Jheri curl.

I don't know if you remember, Jheri curls were...

Black folks had this thing where we would put this stuff in our hair

and it made it look wet and drippy.

He had then a powder blue suit and he was running whores.

When his people came to get him, he shot 'em up, he killed them,

cos he...

He didn't recognise... he didn't recognise his people.

The whole point of doing Bleetee was to remind people

that it's OK to assimilate, but you can never forget who you are.

So he's on the floor and I'm thinking, "This can't be good."

Then he said, "I want to talk to you.

"I want you to play Celie in The Color Purple."

I said, "Come on, man, what?!"

He said, "Yeah." And I burst into tears.

I said, "I think I could really suck at this."

He said, "Have you sucked before?"

LAUGHTER

And I said, "I've got to tell you, yeah."

He said, "Well, then, this one won't bother you."

That's how I got to make that movie.

Wow, and aren't we glad?

APPLAUSE Yes.

Jamie Dornan, you had an even earlier start in showbusiness.

I believe it was a Christmas show.

Were you four in your Christmas show?

I was four when I got my big break. Yeah, four.

-Yeah. You did have problems.

-Yeah, I had one line.

It was a nativity play, which is familiar to most of us.

-I was obviously one of the three wise men.

-Obviously.

-You had a beard.

-Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, yeah... I didn't.

I had to...

I'm from Northern Ireland,

which is a peculiar little place where you speak quite funny.

A lot of words sound the same.

A lot of the words, you're not sure what you said.

Anyway, I was the guy who brought the myrrh.

Which, when I say it, is just like reflective glass.

You know what I mean? So I was like...

"So what have you brought?" "The gold." "You brought?"

"The frankincense."

I was like, "Oh, my God." "What have you brought?"

I was like, "The MIRROR."

LAUGHTER

They asked me to repeat it.

"I'm sorry?"

I guess it's meant to sound slightly different to that.

They went, "Again." I went, "I brought the MYRRH?"

I put, like, a tiny different note on it.

I like that Joseph asked you again. "What?!"

-Wait, I'm sorry, how old were you?

-Four.

-Four!

-I know.

-OK.

-Yeah.

-That's tough.

-Yeah.

No, but he made an adjustment to the dialogue.

To the manor born, you changed it.

You could see the star in me then,

is what you're trying to say.

MIRROR.

LAUGHTER

Talking of looking young, Keanu Reeves, you seem unchanged.

That's not true.

Well, you seem it, you seem it. Can I ask...? I know, but can I...?

Tell the people how old you are.

I'm 5-2.

-GASPING

-Really?

-Yeah.

I always think of you in your 30s.

I know! Cos he looks it!

-Yeah!

-52! Look what happened in a year.

What did I do for the last 12 months?

What have you been doing, man?

I looked like that a year ago, I really did.

Listen, Keanu Reeves, all suited and booted,

ready to kick some ass in John Wick 2.

-Well, it's John Wick: Chapter 2, isn't that what it's called?

-Yes.

John Wick: Chapter 2. It's out on the 17th of February.

Oddly, previews on Valentine's Day.

I mean, it's a really enjoyable film. I'm not sure it's a date film.

-It's really a date movie.

-Yeah.

It is!

No?

-I'd go.

-Right?

-Yeah, hell yeah.

-Me too.

If anyone isn't familiar with the character of dangerous John Wick,

-explain who he is and the situation he's in.

-OK, sure.

-So I play a character named John Wick.

-No.

-Yeah.

In it I play a mythical, kind of, legendary assassin,

but he fell in love and he's married.

In the first film, John Wick,

his wife passes away and he wants to retire. That story goes.

In Chapter 2, he's trying to retire.

The consequences of being an assassin revisit him,

and I'm forced to kind of pay a debt.

That's the beginning of it. John Wick is fighting for his life.

He's fighting for John to just grieve and be left alone.

But, my God, so many assassins in this film. It terrifies you.

You come out of the cinema going...

Yeah, there's a lot of people who want him dead. It's cool.

The tone of John Wick, it's really great action,

but there's humour and there's this kind of fantastical other world,

hyper-reality of the underworld, of the criminal element,

then there's the real world.

So there's a really fun tone to the film.

But, when you get to set, when you get to set...?

Cos some of the people...

-You know, you are fighting a lot of people in this thing.

-Yeah, yeah.

Some of the people are just, like, men mountains.

I mean, they're just 7'2". You must think, "Really?"

No, man, I'm John Wick. No, no, John Wick.

John Wick's got will, he's fighting for his life.

There's no mountain he can't climb. He'll knock them down.

Listen, I love this guy, I do, I do.

I feel like if he can beat 'em, I have a shot.

I've seen and I know he's confident, I go right behind him,

"Yeah, I'll kick... Come on."

-Cos he makes you believe that you could do anything.

-Yes!

-I think so anyway.

-Awesome.

-Yeah.

Not a broken bone, a few scratches...

You do get hurt, though, John Wick gets hurt.

John Wick does get hurt, yeah.

The director takes quite a glee in really knock...

Getting hit by cars, getting thrown through windows, getting shot,

getting stabbed.

Also, you know, he mixes techniques, so there's judo, Jiu Jitsu,

then gun work.

I had a lot of great teachers. I try to do as much action as I can.

Well, in our clip, you're talking.

-This is you as a...

-Laurence Fishburne!

Yes, with your old friend Laurence Fishburne. Here we go.

He's offered 7 million for your life.

7 million is a lot of money, Mr Wick.

So I guess you have a choice.

You want a war or do you want to just give me a gun?

Somebody, please, get this man a gun!

Let's go.

Now, obviously, John Wick 2. There were three Matrixes. Matrixeses.

-I don't know how you say that.

-Sure.

How do you...? Is it Matrixi?

-It's just The Matrix.

-Matrices, I've just been told in my ear, Matrices.

Who told you that?

Who told you Matrices?

-You know that's not right.

-Yeah...

Yeah, he speaks, I speak. That's what happens.

Talking of sequels, much excitement...

Well, maybe, is it true? Bill & Ted 3?

CHEERING

-Oh, wow.

-Please, please.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, man, of course.

Cool. All right, Bill & Ted, still alive.

No, but I heard this is a thing. Haven't you talked about this?

Yeah, yeah. The writers had a story and we're trying to make it. Yeah.

So where are Bill and Ted now? They must be in their 50s now?

Yeah, it would be Bill and Ted in their 50s.

I mean, that just makes me laugh right there.

I mean, what happened to these guys?

But there's a cool story.

Basically they're supposed to write a song to save the world

and they haven't done that.

So...so the pressure of having to save the world, you know,

their marriages are falling apart, their kids are kind of mad at them.

But then someone comes from the future and tells them if they

don't write the song, it's not just the world now, it's the universe.

So they have to save the universe because, you know,

time is breaking apart. So then elements of the past are...

Whoopi's really into it, by the way.

-I must be person from the...

-You're in it!

I have to be the person from the future, I have to be.

Oh, I would so love to go and see Bill & Ted 3 and you're in it...

-LAUGHTER

-Well, yeah, why not?

-Yeah, there's totally a role for you.

-Cos I can't get in a movie with him.

You know, it's just not going to happen.

Maybe not those movies, but, like, you know...

Oh, right, OK. You find someone with some clothes on, I'll come in.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

The air guitar thing,

is that something, if you're ever in a bar and a guitar song comes in,

do people just look at you like, "He's going to, he's going to"?

Yeah, which is kind of cool in a way, it's still alive.

So the idea is you say "Excellent", and then things happen.

-Yeah, you do that thing, yeah.

-(OK, say "Excellent", say "Excellent.")

-What?

-(Go on.) Say "Excellent".

OK, I'm going to use this like I'm training.

You're doing the movie again, you're doing Bill & Ted 3.

Excellent!

GUITAR RIFF PLAYS

Bad! Bad Keanu Reeves!

That was terrible.

-Right, Jamie Dornan.

-Hello.

Giving us another hugely anticipated sequel - Fifty Shades Darker.

-Uh-huh.

-WHOOPING

It's out tonight. WHOOPI CHUCKLES

Come on, Whoopi.

Give us a break.

No, no, cos every time I hear Fifty Shades Darker, I think,

"Who do I know?"

You know, cos in the sun, that's what happens to me.

You'll get it later.

The first one was such a massive success.

Is it true it caused a bit of a mini population explosion,

-the first movie?

-It apparently did, yeah.

Yeah, there was a bit of a baby boom.

-Yeah, which is a lovely thing.

-That is nice.

But, actually, something really lovely happened to me in a lift...

Oh, yes? LAUGHTER

I was in a lift. You can't really get away when you're in a lift.

There's nowhere to go.

I got recognised by a very lovely woman who said, "Oh, you're..."

She was more animated than what I'm doing.

She was like, "Oh, my God, you're Jamie Dornan."

I said, "Oh, yeah, thanks. Yeah, that's right"

I was like, "What floor are we going to?"

Just trying to change the subject.

She said, "You know what?

"For years, my husband and I struggled to conceive.

"We thought we were going to do IVF

"and were starting to look at other channels,

"then after your movie came out, we made a baby naturally."

Yeah, isn't that nice?

-Wow.

-I know.

It is so hard to know how to respond to something like that.

Got it. Thank you.

Yeah.

It was, um... Yeah, it was a nice moment.

But you want to inspire people with your work.

-Whatever it takes.

-Yeah, hey, he put the work in.

Fifty Shades Darker, but, actually, this isn't darker.

It's more romantic, I would say.

Yeah, I think that's probably true, yeah.

Yes. There's probably more sex in it...

GIGGLING

LAUGHTER

More sex?! Jamie doesn't speak.

No.

I make noises.

I make, like...American-accented noises throughout.

Yeah, that's actually a question, though - do they let you do that?

When you're doing the scenes, does the director say,

"More vocalisation" or do they say less?

There's often stuff...

JAMIE CHUCKLES

-It's like...

-KEANU SCREAMS

-They're like, "No, that's not good."

-No-one comes like that.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, they do, man.

There are some scenes where they will play music, maybe...

If it's a wide shot and it's not all...

It's the closest we get to sort of, kind of,

just going for it in one piece. They'll play music or something.

My temptation is always just to try to make Dakota laugh.

Sometimes I'll do things like...

When there's a moment where I'm meant to, you know, orgasm,

I'll be like...

# Doodle-do do-do-do! #

LAUGHTER

See, people do that.

Which, by the way, if they don't, they should.

It's like a Ryanair flight when a Ryanair flight lands,

# Doodle-do do-do-do. #

Was it nicer for you this time?

Because last time it was you and everyone else was a woman -

the director and everybody.

-This time, it's a man directing.

-It is.

Did that make a difference?

Och, no, not really, to be honest. I mean, I think whoever is tasked

with directing those kind of scenes...

I mean, these guys know, sex scenes are awkward anyway.

It just needs a very...

This is why I love him.

Cos he includes me.

"These guys know, sex scenes are just really hard."

It's like, "No, babe."

-Have you never done a sex scene?

-No...

-What?

-But you've been in so many films.

-Surely somebody at some point...?

-No. No, no, no, no.

-Not in Back In The Habit?

-No.

There might have been a couple of people under that habit,

but nothing that anybody would see. No, no, no. No.

-Was that your decision?

-No.

No.

There's still time for that kind of thing.

Well, I don't know.

But it's fun to watch other people kind of get it on.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Mm-hmm.

Hey, let's watch a clip.

This is you talking.

-This is you and Dakota Johnson at an auction.

-Great.

-This is going at 10,000.

-10,000.

Thank you, ma'am. 10,000.

I didn't know you had a place in Aspen.

I have a lot of places.

We have some ski lovers in the room tonight.

-19.

-19,000. Thank you, sir.

-A week of luxury in America's finest ski resort.

-24,000.

New blood. 24,000, I am bid. Do I hear 25,000?

That money was for you.

Now it'll go to someone who needs it.

I don't know whether to worship at your feet or spank you.

24,000 going once...

I think I'll take option two.

Sold to the young lady in silver.

Oh!

Very good. OK, it's time to meet my next guest.

Just listen to these films.

Malcolm X, Training Day,

Philadelphia, American Gangster, Man On Fire -

he's starred in them all and more.

It's always a pleasure to welcome back to the show

the great Denzel Washington!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello!

Really lovely to see you.

Good to see you, brother. How are you doing?

How are you doing? Nice to meet you.

Shove down a little, tiny bit. Denzel Washington.

CHEERING Listen to that.

All the love. The love, the love.

-Welcome back, sir, lovely to see you.

-Good to be seen by you.

Now, you know the guys. You've worked with Keanu.

- I haven't seen you in how long? - I don't know.

We've passed each other once in a while, here and there, but, yeah.

Did you work in Britain? Did you make Much Ado About Nothing here?

No. Greve.

- Greve! - Greve, outside of Florence.

Oh, posh.

Whoopi Goldberg, of course, was it you gave Whoopi her Oscar?

Yes. Yes, you did.

Did you see this picture? We look like four-year-olds. Look at that.

-You know why I was so skinny? I was working on Ricochet.

-Oh.

While we were doing the Oscars, around that time.

-You're still skinny.

-Black, black is the key. Black.

Legs crossed, black.

So, your new movie is fabulous. It's Fences.

It's in selected cinemas tonight, then it's everywhere next Friday.

This is the first time the famous August Wilson play

has been filmed, and you star in it and you directed it.

Congratulations, Oscar-nominated.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Alongside Viola Davis, who's...

Viola Davis, is that like... You know that people say,

"Oh, if you play tennis against a good person, you get better"?

-Mm-hmm.

-Acting with her must be a joy.

If you play tennis against a good person, you lose,

and then you get better.

You know, 16, 17 years ago, I directed my first film.

She was one of the first people I hired. I knew how good she was then.

When I decided to do the play, five or six years ago,

Scott Rudin and I produced it... Well, he produced it,

but the first person we decided to hire was Viola for the play.

She kills it. I mean, she's great in this movie.

I mean, in fairness, you all are.

Now, if people don't know the play, tell us about it.

It's about a family.

I play a man who was frustrated

because he didn't make it to the major leagues

because he was too old and because he was black.

That's what HE thinks.

His frustration and anger, if you will, is sort of...

Without giving it all away.

It's about fathers and sons, and husbands and wives...

and other women.

DENZEL CHUCKLES

It won the Pulitzer Prize as a play, multiple Tony Awards.

We revived it in 2010.

It actually broke the record for the most nominations for any play

in the history of the Tony Awards.

Viola won, I won, Best Revival, all of that.

So here we are now, six years after the play, and I directed the film.

We're up for Best Picture and Actor and Actress, and Adapted Screenplay.

August Wilson is up, I'm really happy about that.

Wow. It's a stunning, stunning film.

Your character is interesting, because you feel for him,

-and yet he is, really, quite unsympathetic.

-Yeah.

Well, he writes...

August Wilson writes ordinary, real people, warts and all.

Nobody is perfect, it's like life. And he's unapologetic.

You know, again, without giving it away, Troy is brutally honest.

OK, we've got a clip.

-This is yourself and Viola Davis discussing one of your sons.

-Uh-oh.

Why don't you go ahead and let the boy play football, Troy?

He just wants to be like you with the sports.

I don't want him to be like me.

I want him to get as far away from my life as he possibly can get.

You're the only decent thing that ever happened to me, Rose.

I wish him that. But I don't wish him nothing else from my life.

I decided 17 years ago that boy wasn't going to get involved

in no sports. Not after what they did to me in the sports.

Why don't you just admit you were too old for the major leagues?

-For once, why don't you just admit that?

-Telling me I was too old.

I just wasn't the right colour.

Hell, I'm 53 years old and can do better than Selkirk's 269 right now.

How were you going to play ball when you were over 40?

Sometimes I can't get no sense out of you.

I've got good sense, woman.

I've got sense enough not to let that boy get hurt playing no sports.

You're mothering the boy too much,

worrying about whether people like him or not.

Everything that boy do, he do for you.

He wants you to say, "Good job, son." That's all.

I ain't got time for that, Rose. He's alive, he's healthy.

He's got to make his own way, I made mine.

Ain't nobody going to hold his hand when he get out there in the world.

Times are changed, Troy. People change.

The world changing and you can't even see it.

-Thank you. That's actually one of the quieter scenes.

-Yeah...

There's a lot of...

-Those two-handers you have are sensational.

-Sensational.

But apparently on Broadway, like, people got involved.

In the film too. Our first screening in Westwood, and women...

Black, white, yellow, green and blue, started talking back.

It was interesting. We were cutting the film.

Vin Diesel was cutting his film up there too.

He came by, and his sister is his producing partner.

So I showed him the scene where Viola starts telling the truth

in a big way. He's sitting, like, where you are,

and his sister was sitting over there. Screen's up here.

I just started the scene, "Oh, just watch this."

She starts going in, and I start hearing, "Mm-hmm."

I look, and she was... It was like she'd left the room.

"That's right. Mm-hmm."

She just started building... I mean... There's...

It's so real, I guess, and honest, people get involved.

People literally sometimes get up

and start talking back to the screen.

Didn't that happen when you were on stage too?

Oh, yeah, in the play, forget it.

-Oh, forget it!

-You would hear somebody saying,

-"She ain't treating him right."

-"I'll take him."

-"I'll take him."

I won't give it...

I can't give it away, but he walks in with a little one,

and the women went, "Oh, Denzel."

LAUGHTER

"Hey, look, let me just go do this..."

But people get involved. Before they know it, they're in it.

I mean, it's a testament to how great a write August Wilson is.

Also, apparently, it was very different,

cos you filmed on location in Pittsburgh,

so it's quite different from an LA location or a New York location.

It was the best, because we were right there where he lives.

We were right there where August Wilson lived.

We were right there where a lot of people got involved.

There was a man who lived behind us, Mr Greenly.

He couldn't hear well, and he would come out every day and ask if

I wanted coffee, during the scene, or any time.

"Denzel, how are you?" "We're shooting now." "Huh?"

"We're shooting now, Mr Greenly." "You want some coffee?"

"Nah, we're going to go ahead and shoot." "Huh?

"Go on, make the movie. Go and make the movie.

"I'll be in the house."

He'd just come out.

He'd get a chair and sit, like he was watching a movie.

It was like he was watching the movie.

The movie was in his back yard.

I'm not going to see it, I've seen it.

-Know what was sweet? Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off.

-No, no.

We had a screening in Pittsburgh,

and he came in a suit and tie and just proud.

He still couldn't hear, so he had a guy whisper in his ear

to tell him what we were saying, you know?

But he was so proud... He was, he was...

Well, he wasn't in the movie, but he was a part of it.

-It's like he made it. Yeah.

-Yeah, he really directed it.

Listen, good luck with the film. Good luck on the 26th at the Oscars.

-Thank you.

-Presumably your lovely wife will be going with you.

-My wife is right back there.

-Oh, really? Oh, wow.

She's back there because she wants to see some folks out here.

There's some folks she wants to see.

And my son, who's an actor, he does a show... A father's shameless plug.

..Ballers, which co-stars with The Rock.

- He loves you. - Oh, yeah?

So she was trying to get him on the phone so he could say hi.

- Oh, I'll say hi. - But at least take a picture.

I'll try not to keep you. LAUGHTER

Sorry you've got to do this boring shit.

There's going to be a photo out there.

Whoopi is having a photo with Jamie, yeah. We'll set up a photo studio.

It'll be lovely.

It's music time. This man went from the underground hip-hop scene

to top of the charts, and has just won the Brits Critics' Choice Award.

Here performing the hit single Human, it's Rag'n'Bone Man.

CHEERING

# I'm only human

# I'm only, I'm only

# I'm only human

# Human

# Maybe I'm foolish

# Maybe I'm blind

# Thinking I can see through this

# And see what's behind

# Got no way to prove it

# So maybe I'm blind

# But I'm only human after all

# I'm only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Take a look in the mirror

# And what do you see?

# Do you see it clearer

# Or are you deceived

# In what you believe?

# Cos I'm only human after all

# And you're only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Some people got the real problems

# Some people out of luck

# Some people think I can solve them

# Lord heavens above

# I'm only human after all

# I'm only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't ask my opinion

# Don't ask me to lie

# Then beg for forgiveness

# For making you cry

# For making you cry

# Cos I'm only human after all

# You're only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Oh, some people got the real problems

# Some people out of luck

# Some people think I can solve them

# Lord heavens above

# I'm only human after all

# I'm only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Cos I'm only human

# I make mistakes

# I'm only human

# That's all it takes

# To put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Cos I'm no prophet or Messiah

# You should go looking somewhere higher

# Cos I'm only human after all

# I'm only human after all

# Don't put the blame on me

# Don't put the blame on me

# Cos I'm only human

# I do what I can

# I'm just a man

# I do what I can

# Don't put your blame on me

# Don't put your blame on me. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wow!

Beautiful!

Rag'n'Bone Man, great job. Come over here.

Come and join us.

That was so gorgeous.

Thank you very much. Come in, sit down.

That's Jamie Dornan, Keanu, Whoopi, Denzel, there we all are.

Very good.

Whoo!

-Have a seat.

-I'll go for a small one.

-Wait, wait, wait, come on here, man.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, man.

-All right.

Because I was watching you from a distance,

I didn't quite understand just how big you are.

Well, that's very nice of you to say.

-You're like one of the people Keanu Reeves beats up in John Wick.

-OK.

Right, so that is Human off the album of the same name, Human.

-Here we go. That is out now, isn't it?

-It is.

-In all formats.

-Today.

-Today?

-Yeah.

-Spread the word, guys, spread the word.

-And it's called I'm Only Human?

-It's called Human.

-Human.

-Just Human.

-Just Human.

-Got you.

-(Human.)

-I should say I can call you Rory, right?

-Yes.

That's the name my mother gave me, so...

-OK, let's use it.

-Perfect.

-Here's the thing, you were bubbling along, you were doing hip-hop.

-Yes.

And so... Did you know you could sing like that?

Kind of.

I used to sing a little bit in the shower and, you know,

the places that people sing.

But I kind of realised it was in tune, and then...

And then my old man said,

"Have a couple of beers and go and sing on stage."

So that's what I did.

Cos I was a bit nervous, you know, stage fright, a little bit.

But you only do it one time. You do it one time, it takes one time.

Well, this is the place I want to be, yeah.

Because you'd been working in hip-hop, doing MCing and stuff

on a lower level, like, are you enjoying the success?

Like, does it suit you?

Yeah.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Kind of, kind of.

Listen, good luck, cos you're up for Best Breakthrough Artist

-at the Brits in a couple of weeks.

-I am indeed.

-So you'll be there.

-Best of luck to you. I hope it goes well.

-Thank you.

Thanks for doing that. It was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous.

Rag'n'Bone Man, everybody. CHEERING

OK. That's nearly everything.

We've just got time for a visit to the Big Red Chair. Who's there?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, what's your name?

-My name's Anita.

-Anita, lovely.

Where do you live, Anita?

I live in Manchester, and it's my birthday today.

LAUGHTER

-What?!

-What does she want, a prize?!

We were all born!

-What is that?

-That is cold, man, that is cold.

"It's my birthday", whatever!

But you're only human, though, Graham, too!

-Oh, he's quoting your song back at you.

-Yeah, Denzel.

Let's reload the chair.

Hello.

-Hello.

-What's your name?

-Eleanor.

-Eleanor, lovely.

What do you do, Eleanor?

-I'm a charity campaigner.

-A charity campaigner. She's staying.

She's staying right there.

OK, off you go with your story.

Well, a while ago I was going on dates through Tinder,

and I met a nice guy and conversation was flowing.

We were talking about Bristol,

where my family is from and where he was from.

We decided to go out on a second date, so I gave him my number.

When I got home, he messaged me, and his surname came up on my phone.

It was quite an unusual surname, same as my mum's surname.

That's when I realised I'd gone on a date with my cousin.

Oh, that's not right. That's...

You look sheepish. It wasn't you, was it?

You look a bit like... "This is very awkward."

Shall we have one more?

Yes, OK. OK, here we go. This is the one.

Hello, sir, what's your name?

-Hello, I'm Ed.

-Ed, lovely. Where are you from, Ed?

-I'm from York, but I live in London.

-Excellent.

A lot of information right there to process. What do you do in London?

-I'm a research technician.

-Oh, he's quite vague. Nothing good, I'd say.

OK, Ed, off you go with your story.

So a couple of years ago, I used to work in a coffee shop.

I was making a flat white for a customer,

which is the one with the nice, little floret pattern on the top.

-Oh, yes.

-But I was in a bit of a rush.

I thought the coffee I'd made was OK,

and I was about to hand it to the customer when my friend tapped on

my shoulder and said, "Um, you might want to take a second look at that."

So I looked down, and sure enough, instead of a nice,

pretty floret pattern, I'd managed to make a penis.

This put me in a bit of a dilemma.

I was like, "Do I give it to him and hope he's not noticed,

"or do I say, 'I'm sorry, sir, I've put a cock in your coffee'?"

So I decided to just give it to him and hope he didn't notice.

He looked down at it and went, "Oh.

I've never had one of those in my coffee before."

That's it.

That's quite a good story. Shall we let him walk?

Yeah, he can walk.

Well done. Well done, everyone.

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go on the Red Chair,

you can contact us via our website, to this very address.

That is it for tonight. Please say thank you to my guests -

Rag'n'Bone Man...

Jamie Dornan...

Keanu Reeves...

Whoopi Goldberg...

Denzel Washington.

Join me next week with rap star Tinie Tempah, actress Ruth Wilson,

comedian Ricky Gervais,

and actors Joshua McGuire, Daniel Radcliffe

and Tom Hiddleston.

I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE