Magic Town


Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS


Magic Town

The head of a flagging opinion-poll company discovers a town which accurately reflects the average American's opinions, and immediately recognises its money-making potential.


Similar Content

Browse content similar to Magic Town. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

Morning, Joe. Another one, huh?

0:01:100:01:12

In or out?

0:01:120:01:13

Out. Rip Smith.

0:01:130:01:15

Institute of Public Opinion. Going out of business.

0:01:150:01:17

Rip Smith...18th floor, inside office,

0:01:170:01:19

tall man, brown shoes,

0:01:190:01:21

dark polish three times a week,

0:01:210:01:24

25 cent tip.

0:01:240:01:27

Too bad. Nice man.

0:01:270:01:29

No wonder he's going out of business,

0:01:310:01:34

getting opinions from the public.

0:01:340:01:36

That's a screwy way to make a living.

0:01:360:01:39

There's nothing screwy about it.

0:01:390:01:41

Look at Gallup.

0:01:410:01:42

Big corporations pay a lot of money

0:01:420:01:45

to find out what you and I think.

0:01:450:01:48

Now, you take this cigar, for instance.

0:01:480:01:50

People stop buying it, sales fall off,

0:01:500:01:53

manufacturer wants to know why.

0:01:530:01:55

I can tell them why in one word.

0:01:570:02:00

Hey, George, is it true about Rip Smith?

0:02:030:02:06

Yes. I saw them moving the furniture out.

0:02:060:02:09

Isn't that swell?

0:02:090:02:11

Did you hear about Rip?

0:02:120:02:13

Mack cancelled his contract.

0:02:130:02:15

They're moving the furniture out of his office.

0:02:150:02:18

He talked to me about jobs

0:02:180:02:21

for some of his people.

0:02:210:02:23

What about himself? Let's grab him.

0:02:230:02:25

We've been discussing it.

0:02:250:02:26

What is there to discuss?

0:02:260:02:28

Henry thinks we'd be foolish.

0:02:280:02:30

Why, Henry, that's the hottest piece of manpower...

0:02:300:02:33

Yes, I know. Brilliant.

0:02:330:02:35

But too much of a dreamer for me.

0:02:350:02:38

To hear him talk, we're all idiots.

0:02:380:02:41

Our method of polling public opinion

0:02:410:02:43

is apparently ridiculous.

0:02:430:02:45

Thinks we're wasting money

0:02:450:02:47

questioning people all over the country.

0:02:470:02:49

He's going to find

0:02:490:02:51

some miraculous shortcut.

0:02:510:02:53

Maybe he can.

0:02:530:02:54

It's called his mathematical miracle -

0:02:540:02:56

how to question 50 or 100 people

0:02:560:02:59

and find out how the whole country's thinking.

0:02:590:03:04

If it could be done, he'd make a fortune.

0:03:040:03:07

If, if, if. He was forced out of business.

0:03:070:03:10

Henry, that's because he operated on a shoestring.

0:03:100:03:13

What makes you think he'll come with us?

0:03:130:03:16

Rip's burning with ambition. He'll go it alone.

0:03:160:03:19

We'll get him. Don't worry.

0:03:190:03:21

In his present condition,

0:03:210:03:23

he's a cinch.

0:03:230:03:24

Yes, sir.

0:03:240:03:26

Like I said to my wife,

0:03:260:03:29

sometimes asking too many questions don't pay off.

0:03:290:03:32

"When I got your letter,

0:03:320:03:33

"I tested public opinion in my hometown

0:03:330:03:36

"on the subject you suggested,

0:03:360:03:38

"and here's the result.

0:03:380:03:40

"In favour, 69.1 Not in favour, 22.6

0:03:400:03:43

"Don't-knows, 8.3..."

0:03:430:03:45

We just laid one egg.

0:03:450:03:47

What are you hatching now?

0:03:470:03:49

What are those letters about?

0:03:490:03:51

Who's that one from, Mr Twiddle?

0:03:510:03:53

You're awake. It's from Frederick Hoopendecker.

0:03:530:03:56

He's a schoolteacher. Shall I go on?

0:03:560:03:59

Sergeant Hoopendecker. What a man.

0:03:590:04:01

He could handle a bazooka like a toy pistol.

0:04:010:04:04

Shall I go on?

0:04:040:04:05

Getting a bunch of ex-dullfeet

0:04:050:04:08

to canvass their hometowns.

0:04:080:04:10

What for?

0:04:100:04:12

Well, I'm still hunting for that shortcut, Ike.

0:04:120:04:15

Mathematical miracle.

0:04:160:04:17

My goodness, shall I go on?

0:04:170:04:20

No. No. No.

0:04:200:04:21

I thought I had an idea.

0:04:210:04:24

Just file that with the rest of them, Mr Twiddle.

0:04:240:04:28

Everybody get paid off?

0:04:280:04:31

Uh-huh.

0:04:310:04:32

Good.

0:04:320:04:33

Why don't you give up, Rip?

0:04:490:04:51

Stop chasing rainbows. Go to work for somebody.

0:04:510:04:54

I could put a bowling alley in here.

0:04:540:04:57

A lot of good guys got kicked around.

0:04:570:05:00

They're not out to capture the world.

0:05:000:05:02

Dancing academy, maybe.

0:05:020:05:05

May I?

0:05:050:05:06

Stop it, Rip! This is no time...

0:05:060:05:09

It's good for the soul!

0:05:090:05:11

RIP WHISTLES A TUNE

0:05:110:05:13

What do you think you're doing?

0:05:170:05:20

It's Mr Stringer.

0:05:200:05:21

HE WHISTLES AGAIN

0:05:210:05:23

Thank you.

0:05:240:05:25

Hello, Charlie.

0:05:250:05:27

I've got a proposition, Rip.

0:05:270:05:28

We might have an opening.

0:05:280:05:30

If you'll accept a reasonable salary

0:05:300:05:33

against 10% of the profits,

0:05:330:05:34

you can take Ike and Mr What's-his-name?

0:05:340:05:37

Twiddle.

0:05:370:05:39

Yeah, Twiddle.

0:05:390:05:40

Thanks, Charlie. I'll think about it.

0:05:400:05:43

Don't be a fool, Rip. You can't be fussy.

0:05:430:05:47

You and your mathematical miracles.

0:05:470:05:50

No wonder Mack cancelled your contract.

0:05:500:05:52

We released our figures today on the same subject.

0:05:520:05:56

Look at it.

0:05:560:05:58

You weren't even close.

0:05:580:06:00

You can't do polls without national coverage.

0:06:000:06:02

And that takes lots of money.

0:06:020:06:04

Make up your mind, there are no shortcuts.

0:06:040:06:07

What are you grinning about?

0:06:070:06:09

Charlie, I love you.

0:06:090:06:12

With all my heart, I love you!

0:06:120:06:14

The answer's no. See you around. Come here.

0:06:140:06:17

Give me that.

0:06:190:06:21

Get off that desk!

0:06:210:06:23

What hit you?

0:06:230:06:25

Lock that door!

0:06:250:06:26

Now if I can just find this letter.

0:06:260:06:29

There it is.

0:06:290:06:30

This might be it, Ike!

0:06:300:06:32

The shortcut I've been searching for.

0:06:320:06:35

Now, look at Hoopendecker's letter!

0:06:350:06:37

Look at Stringer's figures!

0:06:370:06:39

Stringer canvassed thousands of people.

0:06:390:06:41

Hoopendecker canvassed a handful in a small town!

0:06:410:06:44

Look at the results!

0:06:440:06:46

69.1, 69... They're just the same!

0:06:460:06:49

I tell you, this might be it!

0:06:490:06:51

One small town that thinks exactly the way the nation does.

0:06:510:06:55

You're talking about Utopia.

0:06:550:06:57

Utopia. We'll find out right now.

0:06:570:06:59

Mr Twiddle, get the almanac.

0:06:590:07:01

Call the Census Bureau,

0:07:010:07:03

and get Hoopendecker on the phone!

0:07:030:07:05

Never mind that!

0:07:120:07:13

I'll get the national figures out of the almanac.

0:07:130:07:17

What about the last election?

0:07:170:07:19

I want the figures, the percentages.

0:07:190:07:21

Now prohibition.

0:07:210:07:23

What about the last time?

0:07:230:07:24

Democrats?

0:07:240:07:26

All right. Republicans?

0:07:260:07:28

I knew someplace somewhere there was a town like this!

0:07:280:07:32

Even the population breaks down right!

0:07:320:07:35

Just like the country!

0:07:350:07:36

The same percentage of males, females,

0:07:360:07:39

farmers, labour, Democrats, Republicans, everything!

0:07:390:07:42

Hello. Yeah, I'm still here.

0:07:420:07:43

Look, here's the setup.

0:07:430:07:45

We'll have to poll the same people repeatedly.

0:07:450:07:48

This might be good for years.

0:07:480:07:50

Eventually they'll get self-conscious.

0:07:500:07:52

Those townspeople can't know what we're doing.

0:07:520:07:55

We got to have a cover.

0:07:550:07:57

We're three insurance salesmen from Hartford.

0:07:570:08:00

Insurance? Oh, my goodness.

0:08:000:08:02

To talk to a man about when he's going to die...

0:08:020:08:06

Hello.

0:08:060:08:07

Yeah, that's what I said, Mack,

0:08:070:08:10

and I can deliver, too.

0:08:100:08:11

Stringer's been doing a poll for you for months

0:08:110:08:15

on progressive education in the public schools.

0:08:150:08:18

Suppose I start now and finish before him?

0:08:180:08:21

I tell you, it is possible!

0:08:210:08:23

W-Well...

0:08:230:08:25

Within one percent, that's how close!

0:08:250:08:28

I won't tell you how I do it.

0:08:280:08:31

No other polling outfit will find out about this.

0:08:310:08:34

I'm going to make a million bucks on this!

0:08:340:08:38

What? Yeah. Let me understand this.

0:08:380:08:40

You'll put me on trial, huh?

0:08:400:08:42

If this goes over, you'll renew my contract?

0:08:420:08:45

That's all I want to know.

0:08:450:08:47

OK, Mack. Thanks.

0:08:470:08:49

Grandview, you good old mathematical miracle,

0:08:490:08:51

here we come!

0:08:510:08:53

Thank you, Grandview.

0:09:100:09:12

Gee, the moment Columbus first sighted land

0:09:150:09:17

must have been just like this.

0:09:170:09:20

­ Would you mind moving, please?

0:09:200:09:21

Excuse me.

0:09:210:09:23

< Moody's Mansion House!

0:09:230:09:24

Bus for Moody's Mansion House leaving right away!

0:09:240:09:28

Moody's Mansion House?

0:09:280:09:29

That's the name of the hotel.

0:09:290:09:32

That's a perfect name for the hotel.

0:09:320:09:34

Maybe it is, and maybe it ain't.

0:09:340:09:37

You want to go there?

0:09:370:09:39

Yeah, and see that fellow

0:09:390:09:41

who looks like he popped out of Dickens?

0:09:410:09:44

Tell him to check us in. We're going for a walk.

0:09:440:09:47

"Moody's Mansion House."

0:09:470:09:49

How do you do?

0:10:010:10:02

Ike, it's wonderful to be around a town

0:10:100:10:13

you know like you know an old family album.

0:10:130:10:17

Look at that fellow.

0:10:170:10:19

He's married. He has 1.7 children.

0:10:190:10:21

Out of his income, he spends 11.2 for rent,

0:10:210:10:25

23.5 for food, and 17.2 for clothing...

0:10:250:10:28

Poor guy. He's just a series of fractions.

0:10:280:10:30

He ought to stop acting like a human being.

0:10:300:10:34

Hello there.

0:10:390:10:41

Glad to see you again.

0:10:430:10:45

Well, glad to see you.

0:10:450:10:47

How have you been?

0:10:470:10:49

Fine. How have you been?

0:10:490:10:51

Can't complain. You're looking well.

0:10:510:10:52

You seem fit yourself.

0:10:520:10:54

Not bad for an old man.

0:10:540:10:57

Well...

0:10:570:11:00

Well... How have you been?

0:11:020:11:05

Can't complain. And you?

0:11:050:11:07

Fine. Fine. Ha, ha.

0:11:070:11:10

Glad to have seen you again.

0:11:100:11:12

I'm very glad to have seen you.

0:11:120:11:15

Who's that?

0:11:170:11:21

Who's that man? I don't know.

0:11:210:11:23

Sure you don't know him?

0:11:230:11:25

No, I don't know him.

0:11:250:11:27

If he knows you, we're sunk.

0:11:270:11:29

He was just being friendly.

0:11:290:11:31

Get it higher! > Higher!

0:11:340:11:36

Hey, where can I find Professor Hoopendecker?

0:11:360:11:39

I don't know. He ain't down here.

0:11:390:11:41

Wise guy.

0:11:410:11:43

Thanks.

0:11:430:11:44

Wow!

0:12:090:12:10

< Did you see that?

0:12:100:12:13

All the way from there to there.

0:12:130:12:16

That was really something.

0:12:160:12:18

< Pass it here!

0:12:180:12:20

Hide me. Hide me.

0:12:220:12:24

Company, ten-hut!

0:12:260:12:29

Hit the dirt!

0:12:290:12:30

Rip!

0:12:420:12:43

Rip Smith!

0:12:430:12:45

Good old Sergeant Hoopendecker.

0:12:450:12:47

Hiya, dirty face.

0:12:470:12:49

Mon capitaine. Je vous aime.

0:12:490:12:51

You rat. It took me years to build dignity.

0:12:530:12:56

Rip Smith! That's who it is.

0:12:560:12:58

Sorry I couldn't meet you at the train.

0:12:580:13:01

How's it going?

0:13:010:13:03

The survey I did was good, huh?

0:13:030:13:05

Right on the nose for the whole nation.

0:13:050:13:08

Isn't this insurance thing risky?

0:13:080:13:10

We'll sell some insurance if we have to.

0:13:100:13:13

Is that him, Mr Hoopendecker?

0:13:130:13:15

That's he, all right.

0:13:150:13:17

Rip Smith. That's plush.

0:13:170:13:19

Mr Hoopendecker said you were coming.

0:13:190:13:21

We read about you in the basketball guide.

0:13:210:13:25

I'm coaching. Here's my assistant.

0:13:250:13:27

Mascot of the team.

0:13:270:13:29

Hi, Rip.

0:13:290:13:31

Hey. Hey!

0:13:310:13:32

What's going on?

0:13:320:13:34

That's a nickel a look.

0:13:340:13:36

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:13:360:13:37

Boys, move along.

0:13:370:13:38

So long.

0:13:380:13:40

Have you seen anybody yet?

0:13:400:13:42

No. I'm going to see the mayor now.

0:13:420:13:45

Meet me after school at the town meeting hall.

0:13:450:13:48

I'll introduce you to folks.

0:13:480:13:50

How do you do?

0:13:570:13:59

Why, the very idea!

0:13:590:14:01

Imagine a grown man doing such a thing.

0:14:010:14:03

No, I can't.

0:14:030:14:05

Wait right here, please.

0:14:070:14:09

Thank you. Thank you.

0:14:090:14:11

Where did you disappear to?

0:14:180:14:20

Dropped in on my old pal Hoopendecker.

0:14:200:14:23

What's this? What goes on here?

0:14:230:14:25

His Honour the mayor is in conference.

0:14:250:14:28

We just have to put the decimal points in the right place,

0:14:280:14:32

and we're home.

0:14:320:14:34

Let's pray these good people stay average,

0:14:340:14:37

that they don't change.

0:14:370:14:39

They haven't changed in 50 years. Forget it.

0:14:390:14:43

Yes, these changes will make this town.

0:14:430:14:45

The park and the playground

0:14:450:14:47

will be placed right here,

0:14:470:14:49

the hospital and the nursery here,

0:14:490:14:52

the library here, the high school here.

0:14:520:14:54

As mayor, I'm neutral, a servant of the people,

0:14:540:14:57

but I still insist this plan is preposterous.

0:14:570:15:00

Richard, isn't it preposterous?

0:15:000:15:02

I'm tired of hearing about it.

0:15:020:15:05

She's been coming before this council for years.

0:15:050:15:07

It's like a filibuster.

0:15:070:15:09

There ought to be a law...

0:15:090:15:11

Now, now, Lou. This is a free country.

0:15:110:15:14

All right. All right.

0:15:140:15:16

Thank you, Mr Nickleby.

0:15:160:15:18

I'll continue to exercise that right

0:15:180:15:20

until you're convinced that Grandview needs

0:15:200:15:23

this new civic centre.

0:15:230:15:24

It's all right, Mr Mayor. You're excused.

0:15:240:15:27

Yes. Excuse me. Of course.

0:15:270:15:29

What is it?

0:15:350:15:36

You said it was important.

0:15:360:15:38

I'm Lawrence Smith.

0:15:380:15:40

This is my associate Mr Sloan.

0:15:400:15:42

We just arrived in town and thought you could help us.

0:15:420:15:46

Just a moment.

0:15:460:15:49

Notes for visitors' diary.

0:15:490:15:51

At, er, 9.46,

0:15:510:15:53

a gentleman named Lawrence Smith came in.

0:15:530:15:55

"Visitors are always welcome", I said.

0:15:550:15:58

"What can I do for you?"

0:15:580:16:01

Visitors are welcome. What can I do for you?

0:16:010:16:04

We want to open an insurance office.

0:16:040:16:07

We thought you could recommend a real estate agent.

0:16:070:16:11

Mr Smith requested that I recommend a real estate agent.

0:16:110:16:14

"I'm in a difficult position", I said.

0:16:140:16:17

"The mayor cannot show partiality".

0:16:170:16:19

Just a moment. I'll get Lou Dicketts.

0:16:190:16:22

Best real estate man in town.

0:16:220:16:25

Rest of them ain't worth a hoot and a holler.

0:16:250:16:29

What about the whoosis - the upkeep?

0:16:290:16:32

That means more what-you-call-it...

0:16:320:16:35

Uh, taxes.

0:16:350:16:36

Excuse me.

0:16:360:16:37

Why not let the voters decide?

0:16:370:16:41

Mr Nickleby's being very unselfish about this.

0:16:410:16:45

As the leading contractor, he'd naturally benefit.

0:16:450:16:48

We can't afford it.

0:16:480:16:49

Did it occur to you, Richard Nickleby,

0:16:490:16:52

social improvements would attract new people, new wealth,

0:16:520:16:55

so we could afford it?

0:16:550:16:57

Glad to be of... what-you-call-it...service.

0:16:570:17:00

Like a fella says, thank you.

0:17:000:17:03

FEMALE VOICE: All you want is changes! >

0:17:070:17:09

Change this. Change that. >

0:17:090:17:11

Of course I want changes. >

0:17:110:17:13

It's about time we grew up >

0:17:130:17:16

and made it a decent place. >

0:17:160:17:18

Changes. There goes your mathematical miracle.

0:17:180:17:21

< When it comes to community planning,

0:17:210:17:24

< I'll trust Mr Nickleby.

0:17:240:17:27

This is a very fine community!

0:17:270:17:30

It's a beautiful community!

0:17:300:17:32

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to butt in.

0:17:320:17:34

That's all right. Come in.

0:17:340:17:36

What do you think of Grandview?

0:17:360:17:39

Think of it? I've been searching

0:17:390:17:41

for a town like this for years!

0:17:410:17:44

You like it, do you? Speak up!

0:17:440:17:47

When I got off that train,

0:17:470:17:50

I said, "This is it".

0:17:500:17:52

I've just walked through your town,

0:17:520:17:54

with its shade trees and its lovely parks.

0:17:540:17:58

I stood before your impressive buildings

0:17:580:18:00

and said, "Here's a sturdy challenge

0:18:000:18:02

"to the evils of the modern era."

0:18:020:18:05

I felt your people's vitality and security...

0:18:050:18:09

All in less than one hour.

0:18:090:18:12

Hmm?

0:18:120:18:13

Your children are happy...happy.

0:18:130:18:16

You can see it in their dear little faces

0:18:160:18:19

and hear it in their wholesome talk.

0:18:190:18:22

Oh, I...

0:18:230:18:24

There's beauty here.

0:18:240:18:26

It's almost indescribable.

0:18:260:18:29

You're used to it. You're all a part of it.

0:18:290:18:32

You take it for granted.

0:18:320:18:34

But to me,

0:18:340:18:36

it's a hope and a dream of a lifetime.

0:18:360:18:39

And I...

0:18:390:18:41

I, too, want to become a part of it.

0:18:430:18:46

Please don't change it.

0:18:460:18:48

Well, I-I'm very sorry.

0:18:520:18:54

I didn't mean to intrude.

0:18:540:18:56

He's right.

0:19:050:19:07

Absolutely right.

0:19:070:19:08

That makes me what-you-call-it?

0:19:080:19:11

Proud.

0:19:110:19:12

That's the kind > of young man

0:19:120:19:15

this town needs. >

0:19:150:19:16

Let's forget this nonsense about high schools! >

0:19:160:19:19

All those in favour? >

0:19:190:19:21

Meeting's adjourned. >

0:19:210:19:22

It took a stranger to pound sense into us. >

0:19:220:19:25

You fascinate me.

0:19:250:19:29

I nearly fell for that scheme of Mary's.

0:19:290:19:32

..Get to know him better.

0:19:320:19:34

Ed Schwartz, meet my friend Lawrence Smith.

0:19:370:19:40

How do you do?

0:19:400:19:41

Mel Handler.

0:19:410:19:43

Pleased to know you.

0:19:430:19:45

Hey, fellas!

0:19:450:19:47

I want you to meet my friend Lawrence Smith...

0:19:470:19:50

insurance.

0:19:500:19:51

Mr Hoopendecker's friends are welcome here.

0:19:510:19:54

Thank you very much, gentlemen.

0:19:540:19:56

Everything takes place here...

0:19:560:19:58

political rallies, concerts, dances.

0:19:580:20:00

Hey, there it is.

0:20:000:20:02

Look at it.

0:20:060:20:08

The great American institution -

0:20:080:20:10

the potbellied stove.

0:20:100:20:12

That one's been there for over 100 years.

0:20:120:20:15

Sit around that stove,

0:20:150:20:17

and you'll find out what Grandview's thinking.

0:20:170:20:20

Find out what the country's thinking, too.

0:20:200:20:22

Yeah.

0:20:220:20:23

If you want to find out where our senators hide...

0:20:230:20:28

Senator Wilton, I want you to meet

0:20:280:20:31

my friend Lawrence Smith.

0:20:310:20:33

Glad to see you.

0:20:330:20:35

Glad to see you.

0:20:350:20:36

Oh, yes.

0:20:360:20:38

THEY LAUGH

0:20:380:20:40

Well, this is Senator Wilton.

0:20:400:20:42

You're United States Senator Wilton!

0:20:420:20:44

Well, of course!

0:20:440:20:45

No wonder your face was familiar.

0:20:450:20:48

The Senator was brought up here in Grandview.

0:20:480:20:51

He comes back to visit.

0:20:510:20:53

The pressure in Washington gets pretty strong sometimes.

0:20:530:20:56

Easy to lose your perspective.

0:20:560:20:57

Issues become very simple in this room.

0:20:570:21:00

I imagine so.

0:21:000:21:02

There's something in the local paper about you.

0:21:020:21:05

I have it here, Senator.

0:21:050:21:07

Oh, thanks. They don't...

0:21:070:21:09

they don't seem to like you.

0:21:090:21:11

There, under "Town Titbits".

0:21:110:21:14

"The incident at the council meeting

0:21:140:21:16

"that was reported to this paper

0:21:160:21:19

"indicates a complete lack of grace."

0:21:190:21:22

Well...

0:21:220:21:23

"This is his first day in town,

0:21:230:21:26

"yet Mr Smith managed to poke

0:21:260:21:28

"his unwelcome proboscis

0:21:280:21:30

"into local affairs." Um, pretty cute.

0:21:300:21:32

"If you are really here

0:21:320:21:34

"to sell insurance, Mr Smith,

0:21:340:21:36

"you would do well to start building

0:21:360:21:39

"good will and confidence."

0:21:390:21:40

Where's the slaughterhouse that turns this out?

0:21:400:21:43

Down the street. I'll go with you.

0:21:430:21:46

I'll handle it. Excuse me, Senator.

0:21:460:21:48

They're a tough crew.

0:21:480:21:50

I can be tough myself!

0:21:500:21:52

I want to see the editor

0:22:060:22:08

of this imitation newspaper!

0:22:080:22:10

Please say that again.

0:22:320:22:34

I want to know...

0:22:340:22:36

No. The same words, in the same way.

0:22:360:22:39

You can bang the counter if you wish.

0:22:390:22:42

Please.

0:22:420:22:44

Where's the editor?

0:22:460:22:47

I want to see the editor

0:22:470:22:50

of this imitation newspaper!

0:22:500:22:51

Thank you.

0:22:510:22:53

Hey, what is this?

0:23:040:23:06

What's this all about?

0:23:060:23:08

Your voice, it's the spitting image of his.

0:23:080:23:11

Never heard the likes of it.

0:23:110:23:14

Never.

0:23:140:23:15

Spitting image of who?

0:23:150:23:16

He used to say the same thing

0:23:160:23:19

and bang on the counter.

0:23:190:23:22

That was his little joke.

0:23:220:23:24

Whose joke?

0:23:240:23:25

Who's he?

0:23:330:23:35

Lou Peterman.

0:23:350:23:36

Her husband.

0:23:360:23:37

The editor.

0:23:370:23:39

OK. Where's he?

0:23:390:23:41

Lou got a little tired about 10 years ago...

0:23:410:23:44

almost 11 now.

0:23:440:23:45

The year I got my new office.

0:23:450:23:48

Went out the porch to take a nap...

0:23:480:23:51

Guess he was more tired than he thought.

0:23:510:23:54

Never saw such a wonderful funeral.

0:23:540:23:56

Everybody in town came.

0:23:560:23:59

Lem Simpson was a pallbearer.

0:23:590:24:01

Stayed sober all day.

0:24:010:24:03

Just out of respect.

0:24:030:24:06

Yes, sir. Your voice is the spitting image.

0:24:060:24:09

DOOR OPENS

0:24:090:24:11

Well, young man, what is it?

0:24:120:24:15

You came to make a complaint, I believe.

0:24:150:24:18

Well, it's this story about me!

0:24:200:24:22

What's the idea?

0:24:220:24:24

Are the facts incorrect?

0:24:240:24:26

No, but...

0:24:260:24:28

Is your name spelled wrong?

0:24:280:24:29

No.

0:24:290:24:31

Well, it's snide. That's what it is.

0:24:310:24:33

Taking advantage of an innocent stranger.

0:24:330:24:36

What kind of hospitality is that?

0:24:360:24:39

Those nasty little digs. No decent newspaper...

0:24:390:24:42

If you want to attack the policy of this newspaper,

0:24:420:24:45

write a letter.

0:24:450:24:46

Meantime, you can do your complaining

0:24:460:24:49

to the acting editor

0:24:490:24:51

who wrote the story.

0:24:510:24:53

I'll talk to the acting editor!

0:24:530:24:55

I've got a three-position signal!

0:24:550:24:58

Ouch-a-magouch.

0:24:580:25:00

CLICKING

0:25:110:25:13

CLICKING

0:25:160:25:17

Jiggle it. Try jiggling it.

0:25:180:25:21

Sometimes they start when you jiggle them.

0:25:260:25:29

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

0:25:320:25:33

See. What did I tell you?

0:25:360:25:39

Ah, ah!

0:25:400:25:41

Nice?

0:25:450:25:46

Very nice.

0:25:460:25:48

Lovely.

0:25:480:25:49

Pass me Panther.

0:25:490:25:50

Come on, sweetie.

0:25:510:25:53

KITTEN MEOWS

0:25:590:26:00

You wish to see me?

0:26:090:26:11

I want to thank you

0:26:110:26:13

for that nice story you wrote about me.

0:26:130:26:16

I thought you came to complain.

0:26:160:26:18

Me. Not at all!

0:26:180:26:20

There's just one thing worse

0:26:200:26:22

than being talked about, and that's...

0:26:220:26:24

Not being talked about at all.

0:26:240:26:27

In that case, you won't mind

0:26:270:26:29

the second story I'm writing about you.

0:26:290:26:32

Not at all. Not at all.

0:26:320:26:34

No use looking over my shoulder.

0:26:340:26:36

This isn't it.

0:26:360:26:38

As a matter of fact, I was just admiring

0:26:390:26:42

how your hair sweeps up from your neck.

0:26:420:26:46

My, my. Real sharpy.

0:26:500:26:53

Hey, now, look.

0:26:540:26:55

Look at this story you wrote about me.

0:26:550:26:59

Now, look, it says here...

0:26:590:27:01

KITTEN MEOWS

0:27:030:27:05

"If you're really here to sell insurance,

0:27:080:27:11

"Mr Smith,

0:27:110:27:12

"you'd do well..." And so on.

0:27:120:27:15

Why that? That creates suspicion.

0:27:150:27:17

Mr Smith, Grandview is already overcrowded

0:27:170:27:20

with insurance agents, most of them starving.

0:27:200:27:23

A clever man like you would stay away.

0:27:230:27:26

A clever man doesn't mind competition.

0:27:260:27:29

He has ideas.

0:27:290:27:30

He sees insurance as a long-range community service.

0:27:300:27:33

He doesn't care about policies

0:27:330:27:35

for six months or a year.

0:27:350:27:38

Now, wouldn't you like to write

0:27:380:27:40

a little retraction of that?

0:27:400:27:42

"On further examination,

0:27:420:27:44

"this fellow Smith is very charming"?

0:27:440:27:46

Wouldn't you like to do that?

0:27:460:27:49

No, I guess you wouldn't.

0:27:510:27:53

Getting sticky in here.

0:27:560:27:58

I think I'll get a soda.

0:27:580:28:00

Hey, Sis, I got a great scoop.

0:28:000:28:03

Who do you think is in town?

0:28:030:28:06

Rip Smith.

0:28:060:28:07

Hi, Todd.

0:28:070:28:09

Oh, hello, Mr Smith.

0:28:090:28:10

The committee was just going over to see you.

0:28:100:28:14

Oh, yeah.

0:28:140:28:16

Mr Hoopendecker

0:28:160:28:17

said you're the greatest.

0:28:170:28:19

Well, he exaggerates a little.

0:28:190:28:21

He said you'd do it.

0:28:210:28:23

What?

0:28:230:28:24

Coach the basketball team.

0:28:240:28:26

Would you?

0:28:260:28:27

I'll leave you two to discuss business.

0:28:270:28:29

Would you, Mr Smith? Sure.

0:28:290:28:31

I want to straighten out some things first.

0:28:310:28:34

Make that two, will you?

0:28:400:28:42

I ordered a headache powder.

0:28:420:28:44

That's just what I need.

0:28:440:28:45

Oh, no, don't go.

0:28:450:28:47

I expect to be around for quite a spell.

0:28:470:28:51

You'll have to get used to me.

0:28:510:28:54

Perhaps you're right.

0:28:540:28:55

I've gotten used to other weird goblins.

0:28:550:28:58

Goblin, huh?

0:28:580:29:00

Let me see. How's that go?

0:29:000:29:02

"Well, you better mind your parents

0:29:020:29:04

"and your teachers, fond and dear.

0:29:040:29:06

"Cherish them that loves you.

0:29:060:29:08

"Dry the orphan's tear.

0:29:080:29:10

"Help the poor and needy ones

0:29:100:29:11

"that's clustered all about,

0:29:110:29:13

"or the goblins will get you

0:29:130:29:15

"if you don't watch out."

0:29:150:29:17

That's from a poem... "Goblins Will Get You".

0:29:170:29:20

That's from Little Orphan Annie.

0:29:200:29:22

By golly, that's right.

0:29:220:29:24

Oh, headache powder - chocolate flavour, huh?

0:29:250:29:29

Say, tell me about this new civic centre of yours.

0:29:390:29:42

Why?

0:29:420:29:44

Well, I'm just interested.

0:29:440:29:46

After the way you shot your mouth off?

0:29:460:29:48

Wasn't that stupid?

0:29:480:29:50

And not knowing anything, either.

0:29:500:29:52

I hope it didn't do any harm.

0:29:520:29:54

Only set progress back a few years.

0:29:540:29:57

It did? I'm sorry.

0:29:570:29:59

Maybe I can make up for it,

0:29:590:30:02

help in some way.

0:30:020:30:04

Go on. Tell me about it.

0:30:040:30:07

Why did you do it?

0:30:090:30:11

What?

0:30:110:30:12

Butt into the meeting.

0:30:120:30:14

Well, I was just busting with good spirits.

0:30:140:30:17

The town looked perfect to me.

0:30:170:30:19

I couldn't imagine changing it.

0:30:190:30:21

Sure there wasn't some other reason?

0:30:210:30:24

If there was, it escapes me at the moment.

0:30:240:30:28

Some of the fellas have got to go,

0:30:320:30:34

and we figured you could explain

0:30:340:30:37

the "back-pass dilemma".

0:30:370:30:39

It says that Rip Smith used it to perfection.

0:30:390:30:42

It does, huh?

0:30:420:30:44

The what dilemma?

0:30:440:30:46

Quiet, please. This is technical talk.

0:30:460:30:48

Sure, I can show you.

0:30:480:30:50

Anybody got a pencil?

0:30:500:30:52

There we are.

0:30:520:30:54

Get up around here, now.

0:30:540:30:56

We're on the attacking team. I have the ball.

0:30:560:30:59

Here I am, right there.

0:30:590:31:01

There's my guard. Here you are.

0:31:010:31:04

There's your guard over there.

0:31:040:31:06

I pass to you and move at you.

0:31:060:31:09

My guard crosses.

0:31:090:31:10

Then I suddenly fall in behind you.

0:31:100:31:13

That brings the two guards close together.

0:31:130:31:16

You back-pass to me and cut,

0:31:160:31:19

and your guard crosses and bumps his own man.

0:31:190:31:22

I feed you a loop pass. You got an easy lay-up.

0:31:220:31:27

See?

0:31:270:31:29

Well, look, there's nothing to it.

0:31:370:31:39

Give me the ball. I'll demonstrate.

0:31:390:31:42

That's the best part, I think.

0:31:420:31:44

Here.

0:31:440:31:45

You be his guard.

0:31:450:31:48

Now, we...

0:31:480:31:49

Follow me, men,

0:31:520:31:54

right out here.

0:31:540:31:56

Now, we'll use that tree for a basket.

0:31:560:31:59

Line up for an offensive spread.

0:31:590:32:01

You be his guard, see?

0:32:010:32:04

You be his guard, right?

0:32:040:32:06

Now, remember - pass, follow the pass,

0:32:060:32:09

back pass, loop pass, boomeroo!

0:32:090:32:11

You check on this. See there's no mistake.

0:32:110:32:14

Over here, Shorty.

0:32:140:32:16

Come on. Pass it.

0:32:160:32:18

Pass it. Let me have it.

0:32:180:32:21

That wasn't bad, all but the boomeroo.

0:32:250:32:28

OK, let's try some baskets.

0:32:280:32:30

Uh-oh.

0:32:320:32:34

Looks like somebody has to climb a tree.

0:32:380:32:43

Shorty, come here.

0:32:430:32:45

Ollie-up.

0:32:450:32:47

There.

0:32:470:32:49

Can you reach it?

0:32:500:32:52

DOG BARKS

0:32:590:33:01

It's easy, Ike.

0:33:070:33:09

You start gabbing about insurance.

0:33:090:33:12

Then you sneak up on your subject, see?

0:33:120:33:15

Yeah. Talk to a man about his life expectancy,

0:33:150:33:18

but find out what he thinks of progressive education.

0:33:180:33:21

Right. Here we go.

0:33:210:33:23

Here we go.

0:33:230:33:25

Phew!

0:34:160:34:17

Well, here it is. What did I tell you?

0:34:170:34:20

Isn't this beautiful?

0:34:200:34:22

If I ever get to New York, I'll show YOU the sights(!)

0:34:220:34:27

I brought the kids up here yesterday.

0:34:270:34:30

I don't expect to make the basketball team.

0:34:300:34:32

Don't be such an old whiny-worm.

0:34:320:34:35

A what?

0:34:350:34:37

Whiny-worm.

0:34:370:34:38

You're always whining about something.

0:34:380:34:40

Just relax.

0:34:400:34:42

Come face to face with sheer beauty.

0:34:420:34:45

Just...

0:34:450:34:47

Let go.

0:34:470:34:49

Whose idea was it. Yours?

0:34:540:34:56

What?

0:34:560:34:57

The plan. You know, the civic centre.

0:34:570:35:00

Oh, that was a legacy from my father.

0:35:000:35:03

He worked on it for years.

0:35:030:35:05

Never could put it over.

0:35:050:35:07

But YOU will, won't you?

0:35:070:35:09

You bet.

0:35:090:35:11

You set me back a bit,

0:35:110:35:13

but I'll put it over.

0:35:130:35:15

It's the only thing my father left when he died.

0:35:150:35:19

"It's my one possession", he said.

0:35:190:35:22

"A worthwhile job to do.

0:35:220:35:23

"It's yours. Consider yourself rich."

0:35:230:35:26

I thought he left you the newspaper.

0:35:290:35:32

No. We just work there.

0:35:320:35:34

Ben Moody owns it.

0:35:340:35:36

Oh, Moody's Mansion House, huh?

0:35:360:35:39

Well, you call yourself acting editor.

0:35:410:35:43

What's the...who's the editor? Mr Moody?

0:35:430:35:46

No. Papa.

0:35:460:35:48

There can only be one editor for that paper.

0:35:480:35:51

He still runs it, sort of.

0:35:510:35:54

I like that.

0:35:540:35:56

You sound like him.

0:35:560:35:58

Sometimes, you even look like him...

0:35:580:36:01

But you're not like him at all.

0:36:020:36:05

Papa wasn't so desperate.

0:36:050:36:07

What are you desperate for?

0:36:070:36:09

Money?

0:36:090:36:10

Power?

0:36:100:36:12

Are you reading the bumps on my head?

0:36:120:36:15

The air becomes charged with electricity

0:36:170:36:19

around desperate men.

0:36:190:36:21

I always feel it when I'm near Nickleby.

0:36:210:36:24

I feel it now...

0:36:240:36:26

strong.

0:36:260:36:28

Are you having fun?

0:36:280:36:30

Mm-hmm. Do you mind?

0:36:300:36:33

No. No. No.

0:36:330:36:35

What is that? What's that?

0:36:350:36:37

Let me see it.

0:36:370:36:39

MT14 rheostat, controls the speed

0:36:390:36:42

of that little train you saw in the window.

0:36:420:36:45

Was your childhood terribly ugly?

0:36:470:36:49

You know, that little model train you have,

0:36:490:36:52

it's a very professional job.

0:36:520:36:54

A girl mechanic, huh?

0:36:540:36:56

Was it?

0:36:560:36:57

Well, it was cloistered,

0:36:570:36:59

Swiss governess, Lord Fauntleroy suits,

0:36:590:37:01

that type of thing.

0:37:010:37:04

There's only one thing that doesn't add up -

0:37:040:37:06

the electric currents,

0:37:060:37:08

and selling insurance in Grandview.

0:37:080:37:11

Well, maybe you need a new crystal ball.

0:37:110:37:14

My old one's all right.

0:37:140:37:17

Want to know what I see in it?

0:37:170:37:20

Before you're through,

0:37:220:37:24

you'll run for mayor of this town...

0:37:240:37:27

..and the awful part of it is

0:37:290:37:32

I'll probably vote for you.

0:37:320:37:34

They were river rats, he and his brother.

0:37:520:37:55

People on excursion boats would throw coins,

0:37:550:37:58

and the kids would dive for them.

0:37:580:38:01

It meant food for the family.

0:38:010:38:03

He wants security, sure, in his fist.

0:38:030:38:06

Yes, of course.

0:38:060:38:07

Sis, are you going to watch us practice?

0:38:070:38:10

No, darling. I have a meeting.

0:38:100:38:13

So long.

0:38:130:38:14

What else, Hoop?

0:38:180:38:20

That's all I know.

0:38:200:38:22

I've got to get home and mark papers.

0:38:220:38:25

Good night, Mary. Thanks for dinner.

0:38:250:38:27

Is the ladies' meeting over?

0:38:300:38:32

Just about.

0:38:320:38:34

Yep. Just about.

0:38:340:38:36

Good night, Mary...

0:38:360:38:37

Goodbye.

0:38:370:38:39

Good night.

0:38:390:38:40

The basketball dance will be held

0:38:400:38:42

a week from Saturday night

0:38:420:38:44

at the town meeting hall.

0:38:440:38:46

That's sure plush.

0:38:460:38:48

That's the night we play the Waverly game.

0:38:480:38:51

Good night.

0:38:510:38:52

So long, Rip.

0:38:520:38:53

Hi.

0:38:550:38:56

Hi.

0:38:560:38:58

How did it go tonight?

0:38:580:39:00

Good. Good.

0:39:000:39:02

Good. Good. Good.

0:39:020:39:04

Did you go to school here?

0:39:040:39:07

Uh-huh.

0:39:070:39:09

These are graduation pictures, aren't they?

0:39:090:39:11

I'll be darned. Look there.

0:39:110:39:13

Isn't that wonderful? Are you here?

0:39:130:39:16

Yeah.

0:39:160:39:17

Wait a minute. Don't show me.

0:39:170:39:19

There. There you are. I knew you right off.

0:39:190:39:23

Oh, go on. I showed you.

0:39:230:39:25

No. I picked it out myself.

0:39:250:39:28

It's simple. You've got the same...

0:39:280:39:30

the same this,

0:39:300:39:32

the same firecracker eyes.

0:39:320:39:34

You were pretty then, too, huh?

0:39:340:39:39

You think so?

0:39:390:39:41

Yeah...

0:39:410:39:42

You're very pretty.

0:39:440:39:45

Well, that's Helen Kleinspiegel.

0:39:470:39:49

That's me over here.

0:39:490:39:52

Wise guy, huh?

0:39:570:39:59

Hey, that's amazing.

0:40:010:40:03

That grew up to be you, hmm?

0:40:050:40:08

Huh.

0:40:110:40:12

What an age we're living in.

0:40:130:40:17

There's something about the smell of a classroom

0:40:200:40:23

that kind of gets me.

0:40:230:40:25

You went to school here, huh?

0:40:250:40:27

Well, what do you know?

0:40:270:40:29

In this very classroom?

0:40:290:40:31

Mm-hmm.

0:40:310:40:32

I'll be darned.

0:40:320:40:34

Where'd you sit?

0:40:340:40:35

Over there.

0:40:350:40:37

Oh, in the front row?

0:40:370:40:39

You had to stay awake all the time.

0:40:390:40:42

You know, I always had trouble with these legs of mine.

0:40:420:40:48

I always stuck out in the aisle, like this.

0:40:480:40:51

People kept tripping over them.

0:40:510:40:53

One day the teacher was walking by,

0:40:530:40:56

and she and I - kerplunk!

0:40:560:40:58

Uh-oh.

0:40:580:40:59

She accused me

0:40:590:41:01

of doing it deliberately, too.

0:41:010:41:03

You didn't(?)

0:41:030:41:04

I might have helped some.

0:41:040:41:06

And you sat there, huh?

0:41:060:41:08

This seat had an awful squeak.

0:41:080:41:10

IT SQUEAKS

0:41:100:41:11

Yep.

0:41:110:41:13

This is where I sat.

0:41:130:41:15

Did you have any pigtails?

0:41:170:41:19

Mm-hmm.

0:41:190:41:21

Anybody special to pull them?

0:41:210:41:23

Birdy, Senator Wilton's son.

0:41:240:41:26

He was a terror.

0:41:260:41:29

Then they moved to Washington,

0:41:290:41:31

and I was heartbroken.

0:41:310:41:34

Oh, you were, huh?

0:41:340:41:36

Well, for how long?

0:41:360:41:38

Oh, ages...

0:41:380:41:40

Almost a week.

0:41:400:41:42

Oh, look, Hiawatha.

0:41:440:41:47

"By the shores of gitche gumee..."

0:41:490:41:51

Always thought it was "gitche gooey".

0:41:510:41:54

Well, it is gooey.

0:41:540:41:56

Me, I was always exclusively

0:41:560:41:58

a Charge Of The Light Brigade fella.

0:41:580:42:01

Oh, I loved Hiawatha.

0:42:010:42:03

"Half a league, half a league,

0:42:030:42:05

"half a league onward, SHE READS OUT LOUD

0:42:050:42:07

"all in the valley of death

0:42:070:42:09

"rode the 600.

0:42:090:42:11

"Forward the light brigade!

0:42:110:42:12

"Charge for the guns, he said,

0:42:120:42:14

"into the valley of death..."

0:42:140:42:16

"Rose the black and gloomy pine trees,

0:42:160:42:17

"rose the firs with cones upon them.

0:42:170:42:21

"Before them beat the water,

0:42:210:42:22

"beat the clear and sunny water,

0:42:220:42:24

"beat the shining big sea water..."

0:42:240:42:26

"..Theirs was to do or die.

0:42:260:42:27

"Into the valley of death rode the 600.

0:42:270:42:30

"Cannon to the right of them,

0:42:300:42:31

"cannon to the left of them..."

0:42:310:42:33

"..Hush! The naked bear will hear thee!

0:42:330:42:35

"Ewa-yea! My little owlet.

0:42:350:42:37

"Who is it that lights the wigwam..."

0:42:370:42:39

"Into the jaws of death!

0:42:390:42:41

"Into the mouth of hell!"

0:42:410:42:43

"Ewa-yea! My little owlet..."

0:42:430:42:44

"Rode the 600!

0:42:440:42:46

"Flashed all their sabres bare,

0:42:460:42:48

"flashed as they turned in air..."

0:42:480:42:50

"Many things Nokomis taught him

0:42:500:42:51

"of the stars that shine in heaven,

0:42:510:42:53

"showed him Ishkoodah, the comet..."

0:42:530:42:54

"..Plunged in the battery smoke,

0:42:540:42:56

"..right through the line they broke,

0:42:560:42:58

"Cossacks and Russians reeling from the sabre's stroke.

0:42:580:43:02

"Shattered and sundered..."

0:43:020:43:03

"In the frosty nights of winter,

0:43:030:43:05

"showed the broad white road in heaven,

0:43:050:43:06

"crowded with the ghosts, the shadows,

0:43:060:43:08

"at the door on summer evenings

0:43:080:43:09

"sat the little Hiawatha..."

0:43:090:43:10

"Forward, the light brigade!

0:43:100:43:12

"Was there a man dismayed?

0:43:120:43:13

"Not, though the soldier knew

0:43:130:43:15

"someone had blundered.

0:43:150:43:16

"Theirs not to make reply,

0:43:160:43:18

"theirs not to reason why..."

0:43:180:43:19

"But soft. What light through yonder window breaks?

0:43:190:43:23

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

0:43:230:43:27

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

0:43:270:43:32

"who is already pale and sick with grief..."

0:43:320:43:36

Open up, Twiddle.

0:43:450:43:47

It's me.

0:43:470:43:48

Not in yet, huh?

0:43:520:43:55

Did you get them?

0:43:550:43:57

Yeah...

0:43:570:43:58

Three yeses and one don't-know.

0:43:580:44:02

Good. That completes the list.

0:44:020:44:04

If he figures to make that plane,

0:44:040:44:06

he'll have to be here soon.

0:44:060:44:08

He told Mack he'd have the results tomorrow.

0:44:080:44:11

They're playing Preston tonight.

0:44:110:44:13

Very important game. Some soda?

0:44:130:44:15

No!

0:44:150:44:16

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:44:160:44:18

Hi, boys. How's it going?

0:44:190:44:21

Sorry I'm late.

0:44:210:44:22

What's it look like, Mr Twiddle?

0:44:220:44:25

Just give me the basic figures.

0:44:250:44:27

It'll take one second. Who won?

0:44:270:44:30

Who won? Don't be comical.

0:44:300:44:32

46 to 12.

0:44:320:44:33

We slaughtered them.

0:44:330:44:34

That's peachy.

0:44:340:44:36

It would also be peachy

0:44:360:44:38

if you'd get that finished.

0:44:380:44:39

Yeah, Mr Twiddle. Stop stalling.

0:44:390:44:41

Stalling! I said one second.

0:44:410:44:43

I only hope these figures

0:44:430:44:45

will be close to Stringer's.

0:44:450:44:47

Don't worry. All you have to do is...

0:44:470:44:50

Put the decimal points in their proper places.

0:44:500:44:54

There. I've done it.

0:44:540:44:56

Give me that. There she is, boys.

0:44:560:44:59

You realise what this means?

0:44:590:45:01

This was done in two weeks.

0:45:010:45:03

From now on, we can do them in 24 hours.

0:45:030:45:07

All right, Ike. Here you are.

0:45:070:45:09

If old Mack starts asking you questions,

0:45:090:45:12

you just turn your baby-blues.

0:45:120:45:14

I'd like to see his face.

0:45:140:45:17

You can accomplish that with alacrity and dispatch.

0:45:170:45:20

Why don't you go yourself?

0:45:200:45:22

Don't be silly. We play Waverly tomorrow.

0:45:220:45:24

Oh?

0:45:240:45:26

Got sort of a dance after it.

0:45:260:45:29

My handling this team

0:45:290:45:31

has just worked beautifully for us.

0:45:310:45:33

It would look funny if I disappeared.

0:45:330:45:37

You lucky stiff.

0:45:370:45:38

Beautiful job, Mr Twiddle.

0:45:380:45:40

Rip, how'd you like to kick this whole deal over?

0:45:400:45:44

Kick it over?

0:45:440:45:45

It's all right with us.

0:45:450:45:47

What are you talking about?

0:45:470:45:49

You don't have to keep going on our account.

0:45:490:45:52

Oh, save it, will you?

0:45:520:45:55

"Kick it over." Yackety-yackety-yak.

0:45:550:45:58

What are you talking about?

0:45:580:46:00

I've been working all my life for this.

0:46:000:46:03

It's all wrapped up. Kick it over. What for?

0:46:030:46:06

What kind of a lame-brain do you think I am?

0:46:060:46:10

OK. OK. I guess I was way off the beam.

0:46:100:46:14

I guess you certainly were!

0:46:140:46:16

HORN HONKS

0:46:160:46:18

Well, I've got to go.

0:46:180:46:20

Now, er...

0:46:200:46:22

Ike, you tell Mack

0:46:230:46:25

we can take three or four jobs,

0:46:250:46:28

maybe more than that.

0:46:280:46:30

Call me tomorrow night, huh?

0:46:300:46:32

Ike, you call me.

0:46:370:46:41

HORN HONKS

0:46:420:46:44

You ever do the samba?

0:46:520:46:54

No. I can't say I did.

0:46:540:46:57

Don't ever. I had a two-hour demonstration.

0:46:570:46:59

Know what a "back-pass dilemma" is?

0:46:590:47:02

No.

0:47:020:47:03

Well, I'm getting a demonstration.

0:47:030:47:05

"Back-pass dilemma"?

0:47:100:47:11

This I got to see.

0:47:130:47:15

OK. Cut over quick. I'll pass to you.

0:47:160:47:19

Uh!

0:47:190:47:20

Well, throw it.

0:47:200:47:21

Go on. Throw the ball.

0:47:210:47:23

Don't make love to it.

0:47:230:47:25

That's no way to throw a ball.

0:47:270:47:30

It's more of a snap forward.

0:47:300:47:33

No. Suppose there's a wolf on the make for you.

0:47:330:47:37

What do you...

0:47:370:47:39

You mean, like this?

0:47:390:47:41

Yeah, like that.

0:47:480:47:50

Let's try something else, shall we?

0:47:520:47:54

We'll try the lay-up shot.

0:47:540:47:56

Stand over here. No rough stuff, now.

0:47:560:47:59

The principle of this shot

0:47:590:48:01

is you try and stretch yourself out

0:48:010:48:04

and just lay the ball up in the basket.

0:48:040:48:08

Just lay the ball right in there.

0:48:080:48:10

You try. Get over there.

0:48:100:48:12

Remember, you got to stretch yourself.

0:48:120:48:15

Just lay the ball right up there.

0:48:150:48:18

I'll help you.

0:48:180:48:19

Look. It got stuck.

0:48:220:48:24

"Back-pass dilemma", huh?

0:48:360:48:39

< CROWD APPLAUDS

0:49:160:49:19

You ever ask yourself why they call me Rip?

0:49:450:49:49

It has something to do with Rip van Winkle.

0:49:490:49:52

I fall asleep at the drop of an eyelid,

0:49:520:49:55

and I think I'm going to drop an eyelid

0:49:550:49:58

on that lovely shoulder of yours and never leave.

0:49:580:50:02

Oh, no, Rip.

0:50:020:50:03

Ooh!

0:50:030:50:04

Oh, I'm sorry.

0:50:040:50:06

I'm so sorry.

0:50:070:50:08

Well, I guess you live and learn.

0:50:080:50:11

Sorry to cut in, but you promised.

0:50:180:50:21

Certainly, darling. You mind, Rip?

0:50:210:50:22

No, no.

0:50:220:50:24

You're making a mistake, Bob.

0:50:240:50:26

She's carrying a concealed weapon.

0:50:260:50:29

Good work, son.

0:50:290:50:30

You whipped those kids into a fighting machine.

0:50:300:50:33

It's the first time we've beat Waverly in 10 years.

0:50:330:50:36

Hi, Sergeant.

0:50:360:50:38

You must be having an awful tussle

0:50:480:50:51

with that conscience of yours.

0:50:510:50:52

Don't worry about my conscience.

0:50:520:50:54

Bob,

0:50:540:50:56

stay far away from her.

0:50:560:50:58

It'll be hard to drop her in a bracket.

0:50:580:51:00

She won't stay there.

0:51:000:51:02

# I keep... #

0:51:030:51:05

Our school song.

0:51:050:51:09

# Where all my fondest memories are

0:51:090:51:14

# The chapel bells on Christmas Eve

0:51:140:51:19

# The wishes on a falling star

0:51:190:51:25

# The lonely sound across the night

0:51:250:51:31

# Our friends that always hurry through

0:51:310:51:37

# The patterns on the frosted pane

0:51:370:51:42

# The magic lands they took me to

0:51:420:51:48

# These are not only idle dreams

0:51:480:51:54

# That time will someday dim for me

0:51:540:51:59

# They are pages that I put away

0:51:590:52:06

# Into my book of memories

0:52:060:52:14

# The crowd around the swimming hole

0:52:140:52:20

# The gang around the campus green

0:52:200:52:25

# The laughter of an April Fool

0:52:250:52:31

# The ghost that walks on Hallowe'en

0:52:310:52:36

# The timid hand I held in mine

0:52:360:52:42

# While walking through a secret lane

0:52:420:52:47

# The rainbow on a neighbour's lawn

0:52:470:52:53

# That sparkles after summer rain

0:52:530:53:00

# These are not only idle dreams

0:53:000:53:06

# That time will someday dim for me

0:53:060:53:13

# They're pages that I put away

0:53:130:53:19

# Into my book of memories. #

0:53:190:53:30

< Attention, please.

0:53:370:53:40

Thank you.

0:53:400:53:41

Folks, Mrs Peterman

0:53:410:53:43

wishes to say a few words.

0:53:430:53:46

The Dispatch, you know, rarely retracts a story.

0:53:550:53:58

Well, that's obviously

0:53:580:54:00

because The Dispatch rarely makes mistakes.

0:54:000:54:03

LAUGHTER

0:54:030:54:05

Tomorrow, however,

0:54:050:54:06

you will read the retraction of a recent item

0:54:060:54:09

about Mr Lawrence Smith.

0:54:090:54:12

The Dispatch wants to erase any doubt it created

0:54:130:54:18

as to Mr Smith's integrity.

0:54:180:54:20

Mary and I have seen a lot of Rip since he came here.

0:54:200:54:25

It's only been a short time,

0:54:250:54:27

yet already he seems an old friend,

0:54:270:54:30

and that's a good sign.

0:54:300:54:33

He's taken an interest in our civic affairs,

0:54:330:54:36

and his devotion to the basketball team...

0:54:360:54:39

well...

0:54:390:54:40

Everybody must admit he performed a miracle.

0:54:400:54:43

APPLAUSE

0:54:430:54:45

But...

0:54:450:54:47

Now, it took hard work

0:54:470:54:49

at all hours,

0:54:490:54:51

and I'm sure he must have neglected

0:54:510:54:54

his own business to do it.

0:54:540:54:56

We're lucky to acquire such a fine citizen.

0:54:560:55:00

I thought this a good occasion

0:55:000:55:02

to apologise and tell him how we feel.

0:55:020:55:05

Rip...

0:55:060:55:08

We're all very happy and grateful

0:55:080:55:10

that in your search for a permanent anchorage,

0:55:100:55:13

you chose to throw in your lot with us

0:55:130:55:17

and to grow with Grandview.

0:55:170:55:19

APPLAUSE

0:55:190:55:21

< Speech! Speech! >

0:55:210:55:23

I, er...

0:55:390:55:41

I wish Mrs Peterman hadn't said

0:55:430:55:45

all those nice things about me.

0:55:450:55:48

I doubt whether I can live up to them.

0:55:480:55:51

I'd...

0:55:510:55:52

I'd prefer that you...

0:55:530:55:55

reserve judgment until you, well...

0:55:550:55:59

until you got to know me better...

0:55:590:56:02

much better.

0:56:020:56:04

Thank you.

0:56:040:56:05

People going around making speeches.

0:56:400:56:42

I remember once in Italy,

0:56:420:56:44

a bunch of us got to talking.

0:56:440:56:47

Funny place to be talking about home and ma.

0:56:470:56:50

The pip-squeak started.

0:56:500:56:52

Then the other fellas got going.

0:56:520:56:55

It turned out they were all from small towns.

0:56:550:56:58

You were the only city slicker there.

0:56:580:57:01

You let your guard down that night, Rip.

0:57:010:57:04

< DISTANT APPLAUSE

0:57:050:57:07

You envy those guys. You said that yourself.

0:57:090:57:12

You never knew what it was to have neighbours,

0:57:120:57:15

to have a sense of belonging.

0:57:150:57:18

What Ma said goes for all of them.

0:57:180:57:21

Just...just give me one year.

0:57:220:57:25

Just one year.

0:57:250:57:27

You've made a lot of friends here.

0:57:270:57:30

That's security, Rip - the surest kind.

0:57:300:57:34

No.

0:57:340:57:35

No. Look up there!

0:57:350:57:37

That light's in MY office

0:57:370:57:39

because a call's coming in telling me

0:57:390:57:42

I got the world by the tail!

0:57:420:57:44

It's a rat race, but I'm out in front!

0:57:440:57:47

He hasn't come back yet?

0:57:550:57:57

I can't imagine anything I said could have...

0:57:570:58:00

Ma...

0:58:000:58:01

When Papa acted like a ghoul,

0:58:010:58:04

you didn't let him go hide in a corner

0:58:040:58:07

and lick his wounds, did you?

0:58:070:58:09

Of course I didn't.

0:58:090:58:11

I promised Ben Moody I'd dance with him.

0:58:140:58:16

I hope he's in the groove. I'm not.

0:58:160:58:20

'It was a perfect job.'

0:58:300:58:31

What did I tell you? How close was it?

0:58:310:58:35

'What?'

0:58:350:58:36

How close to the Stringer poll?

0:58:360:58:38

'On the nose.'

0:58:380:58:40

No kidding!

0:58:400:58:41

MUFFLED TALKING

0:58:440:58:46

What did old Mack say?

0:59:000:59:02

'Said he was flabbergasted - plain flabbergasted.'

0:59:020:59:05

Well, this is it, Ike.

0:59:050:59:07

Henricks. Yeah.

1:00:121:00:14

Yeah, tell him we'll take that Henricks deal.

1:00:141:00:17

And Keely sounds pretty good.

1:00:171:00:19

'We're home, Ike.'

1:00:341:00:36

'Yeah, if that Peterman gal doesn't crab it.'

1:00:361:00:39

'She's not going to crab anything.'

1:00:391:00:42

'She's hepped on changing the town.

1:00:421:00:44

'If she puts that civic centre over...'

1:00:441:00:47

'I'll handle the Peterman girl.'

1:00:471:00:49

'I guess you will. You're an artist.'

1:00:491:00:52

'Cut it out! We came to do a job,

1:00:521:00:55

'and nothing's going to interfere!

1:00:551:00:57

'I'll see you in a couple of days.'

1:00:571:01:00

Yes, sir.

1:01:031:01:04

We came here to do a job.

1:01:061:01:09

Anything else is just a blind alley.

1:01:091:01:13

The trouble with having a newspaper background -

1:01:301:01:33

it develops an instinct for snooping.

1:01:331:01:35

You must have found Ma's speech tonight very funny.

1:01:401:01:43

We had to work secretly.

1:01:431:01:45

Nobody's been hurt by it, have they?

1:01:471:01:51

That's right...

1:01:561:01:57

..Nobody.

1:01:571:01:59

What are you going to do?

1:01:591:02:01

You couldn't stand any changes...

1:02:011:02:04

..could you?

1:02:061:02:08

By all means, hold back progress.

1:02:081:02:11

Mr Smith has to make an extra dollar for himself.

1:02:111:02:16

I certainly think that's stooping very low.

1:02:161:02:19

TYPEWRITER CLACKS

1:02:281:02:31

I want to make a deal with you.

1:02:501:02:53

Kill that story you're writing,

1:02:551:02:57

I'll never show my face around here again.

1:02:571:03:01

This isn't for myself, Mary.

1:03:041:03:06

It's for the people here.

1:03:061:03:08

I wouldn't like to see them get confused.

1:03:081:03:11

What I was doing couldn't do them any harm,

1:03:111:03:15

but they read that, and they...

1:03:151:03:17

I don't know. They're human.

1:03:171:03:19

You can't go around telling people they're special -

1:03:191:03:22

not even these people. That's deadly.

1:03:221:03:25

If you love them, Mary, don't do it.

1:03:251:03:28

If you'd stop pounding that machine

1:03:301:03:32

and listen to me...

1:03:321:03:34

I suppose you think

1:03:361:03:38

I got some sort of angle.

1:03:381:03:40

I don't know how to convince you, Mary.

1:03:401:03:43

You just have to take my word.

1:03:431:03:46

Set this story up, Mr Dingle.

1:03:561:03:59

Say, this looks hot.

1:04:461:04:48

Send Harry down.

1:04:481:04:50

Cover this - make a swell picture layout.

1:04:501:04:53

Right.

1:04:531:04:54

So that's it!

1:04:541:04:55

What a guy!

1:04:551:04:56

We want sound.

1:04:561:04:58

Find out what the typical American woman wears.

1:04:581:05:01

We want daily sidewalk interviews.

1:05:011:05:02

According to Smith, it's the barometer of national opinion.

1:05:021:05:06

This story was given to the world

1:05:061:05:09

by Mary Peterman of the Grandview Dispatch.

1:05:091:05:11

In one week's time,

1:05:111:05:13

I wouldn't give the wart off my nose

1:05:131:05:16

for anybody's opinion in this town.

1:05:161:05:19

LOUDSPEAKER: 'OK, now.

1:05:231:05:24

'You're the typical American.

1:05:241:05:26

'Act like it.'

1:05:261:05:28

We've opened a keg of dynamite.

1:05:281:05:30

I hadn't counted on arousing the whole world.

1:05:301:05:33

< Hey, Sis.

1:05:341:05:36

Big-shot reporters to see you.

1:05:361:05:38

Sorry to barge in.

1:05:381:05:40

It's all right.

1:05:401:05:41

We thought you'd have information.

1:05:411:05:43

How did you find out about the survey?

1:05:431:05:46

When Mr Smith completed his poll,

1:05:461:05:48

he handed me the story.

1:05:481:05:50

Do you know > his plans?

1:05:501:05:52

He won't talk to anybody.

1:05:521:05:54

He left word he's leaving

1:05:541:05:56

for New York this afternoon.

1:05:561:05:58

BOB: I don't believe it!

1:05:581:06:00

Rip wouldn't walk out on us now,

1:06:001:06:03

not with the Freehall game coming up!

1:06:031:06:06

Must have had 50 calls already -

1:06:061:06:08

families want to move to Grandview.

1:06:081:06:11

Kids!

1:06:111:06:13

All right, Mary. We're ready.

1:06:131:06:15

Bob said if we talked to you, you would.

1:06:161:06:19

You wouldn't leave before the Freehall game.

1:06:191:06:22

Nothing's more important.

1:06:221:06:23

You betcha!

1:06:231:06:25

< Lived here all my life...

1:06:251:06:27

never knew we were so terrific.

1:06:271:06:30

< It's a landslide!

1:06:301:06:31

< There's Rip, our great discoverer!

1:06:311:06:33

Insurance business, huh? >

1:06:331:06:34

­ That was slick. Sure was slick.

1:06:341:06:37

Rip's staying to coach us.

1:06:371:06:40

Watch us grow. >

1:06:401:06:41

We got to take advantage > of the opportunity.

1:06:411:06:44

You will. It's in the air, those electric currents.

1:06:441:06:48

Come on.

1:06:481:06:49

Electric currents? What's he talking about?

1:06:491:06:51

It looks like a nice, clear day.

1:06:511:06:54

We're already known from coast to coast.

1:06:541:06:57

People coming on every train!

1:06:571:06:59

They're coming by car, bus,

1:06:591:07:01

even on foot.

1:07:011:07:02

Who wouldn't want to live in the perfect town?

1:07:021:07:06

I'll just build another hotel.

1:07:061:07:08

Shouldn't we start planning?

1:07:081:07:10

Things are moving so fast.

1:07:101:07:12

That's why we wanted you to handle publicity.

1:07:121:07:15

Spread the slogan "Grow with Grandview".

1:07:151:07:18

Another manufacturer wants to build,

1:07:181:07:20

so he can advertise, "Made in the typical American city."

1:07:201:07:23

They'll be looking for whatcha-call-its...

1:07:231:07:26

building sites.

1:07:261:07:27

Just watch real estate values go up!

1:07:271:07:31

Say, um...

1:07:341:07:36

I've got a lunch date. I almost forgot.

1:07:361:07:39

Wait, Dick.

1:07:391:07:40

Drop me at the hotel.

1:07:401:07:42

See you later.

1:07:421:07:44

I'm getting back to the office.

1:07:441:07:46

< Call from Chicago, Mr Mayor.

1:07:461:07:48

It's travelling like prairie fire.

1:07:481:07:50

Leaving in five minutes!

1:07:501:07:52

See what the people think!

1:07:521:07:54

Get an opinion on any subject!

1:07:541:07:56

"The Typical Tour Of The Typical Town."

1:07:561:07:59

A first-class look...

1:07:591:08:01

ROUSING MUSIC PLAYS

1:08:011:08:03

­ Railroad front's the stuff to buy.

1:08:091:08:12

Cost him 20 thousand. > I offered him 30.

1:08:121:08:15

'A boom has hit this town with a boom.'

1:08:151:08:18

Why, the shoeshine man himself is making money hand-over-fist.

1:08:181:08:23

'If you need a home, he'll supply that.

1:08:231:08:26

'Uh-oh. Here's something.

1:08:261:08:28

'Grandview sells its opinions.'

1:08:281:08:30

'They're putting up polling booths.

1:08:301:08:32

'Well, maybe I'm crazy.'

1:08:321:08:34

20 of these are already spread around the city.

1:08:341:08:37

You will each occupy one.

1:08:371:08:39

A reference library goes with every booth.

1:08:391:08:42

We want to make sure folks are thinking right.

1:08:421:08:45

Now, don't forget - take plenty of blank forms.

1:08:451:08:48

Wait a minute! >

1:08:481:08:50

What's this about? Who's the idiot that dreamed this up?

1:08:501:08:54

I am - I mean, er...

1:08:541:08:56

What's the matter? It was duly approved by the Board.

1:08:561:09:00

You're going to conduct your own polls?

1:09:001:09:03

That's our chief export - our opinions.

1:09:031:09:05

We're through giving them away.

1:09:051:09:07

We're selling them.

1:09:071:09:08

I've seen everything.

1:09:081:09:10

Everybody is instructed

1:09:101:09:11

not to give opinions to outsiders,

1:09:111:09:14

only to our official polltakers.

1:09:141:09:15

Excuse me.

1:09:151:09:17

Folks, you all know your station.

1:09:171:09:20

May the best man or woman bring back the best answers.

1:09:201:09:24

'Let's take our microphone here.

1:09:241:09:26

'I'd like to give you some sidewalk interviews.

1:09:261:09:29

'Here. This couple just arrived.'

1:09:291:09:31

Why did you come here?

1:09:311:09:33

Would you tell our audience?

1:09:331:09:35

On account of my wife.

1:09:351:09:37

Her sister -

1:09:371:09:38

her sister in New York

1:09:381:09:40

kids her about being a hick.

1:09:401:09:42

Now we can say we live in Grandview.

1:09:421:09:45

That will shut her mouth.

1:09:451:09:47

I'm sure it will, sir.

1:09:471:09:49

Here's a gentleman. Would you say a few...

1:09:491:09:52

HE SLURS: I'll say something.

1:09:521:09:54

Give me that microphone!

1:09:541:09:56

The gentleman is too shy.

1:09:561:09:58

Here's an attractive little lady...

1:09:581:10:00

I want to talk to the radio guy.

1:10:001:10:03

Come on, Rip. I told Stringer I'd phone

1:10:031:10:05

as soon as I talked with you.

1:10:051:10:08

Waiter!

1:10:081:10:10

He says his proposition's still open.

1:10:101:10:13

Hey, this isn't a bad seat.

1:10:131:10:16

Ringside!

1:10:161:10:17

No use hanging around.

1:10:171:10:18

You can't do this town

1:10:181:10:20

any good... Not now.

1:10:201:10:22

A couple of ringside seats for a three-ring circus.

1:10:221:10:26

Bring on your baboons!

1:10:261:10:28

IKE: Take it easy, son!

1:10:281:10:30

Yeah. Better be quiet.

1:10:301:10:32

You know, Ike, I helped put on this show here.

1:10:321:10:36

You did, too, you know!

1:10:361:10:38

You helped put on this show.

1:10:381:10:40

Old Ike. Ha ha!

1:10:401:10:42

Mr Ike Sloan,

1:10:421:10:44

the great inseprario - an impresario.

1:10:441:10:48

Come on. Take a bow!

1:10:481:10:50

Oh...

1:10:501:10:51

Come on. Come on. All right!

1:10:511:10:53

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Mr Impresario,

1:10:531:10:56

the famous Ike!

1:10:561:10:58

Come on, take a bow.

1:10:581:10:59

Cut it! Sit down.

1:10:591:11:01

Cut it. Sit down.

1:11:011:11:03

Sit down(!) Shh(!)

1:11:031:11:05

Quiet(!)

1:11:051:11:06

Shh(!)

1:11:061:11:08

Shh(!)

1:11:081:11:10

Shh!

1:11:121:11:14

WAITER!

1:11:191:11:21

Business property. >

1:11:281:11:30

Give me > business property.

1:11:301:11:32

Mary, this is terrific!

1:11:321:11:34

Made 15,000. We'll get those new printing presses yet!

1:11:341:11:37

It's paper profit. Please be careful.

1:11:371:11:39

Don't worry about me.

1:11:391:11:41

I wasn't born yesterday, you know.

1:11:411:11:44

Let's get some black coffee,

1:11:461:11:48

then phone Stringer.

1:11:481:11:50

Good idea.

1:11:501:11:51

And what do you think?

1:11:511:11:53

Should husbands bring pay-envelopes home...

1:11:531:11:55

Who do you represent?

1:11:551:11:57

Oh, nobody. I'm just naturally nosy.

1:11:571:12:01

Isn't all this just too, too divine?

1:12:011:12:04

That's me - just naturally nosy.

1:12:041:12:06

Sure. I know. Come on, son.

1:12:061:12:09

RIP: How do you like your town now?

1:12:171:12:20

How do you like your fancy,

1:12:221:12:24

beautiful circus of a town now, huh?

1:12:241:12:27

# I keep a book within my heart

1:12:521:12:59

# Where all my fondest memories are... #

1:12:591:13:06

Mr Twiddle took the earlier train.

1:13:141:13:17

All aboard! >

1:13:171:13:19

'But we were not satisfied. No, sir!

1:13:191:13:22

'We've added one half million dollars!'

1:13:221:13:26

Yes, sir...

1:13:261:13:27

One half million!

1:13:271:13:29

Pretty good for little old Grandview, huh?

1:13:291:13:32

I still think we're bats.

1:13:351:13:37

Why, the size of this thing!

1:13:371:13:39

At least Mary's plan made sense!

1:13:391:13:42

We're moving with the tide.

1:13:421:13:43

This is no time for penny-pinching.

1:13:431:13:46

The high school, for instance.

1:13:461:13:48

Her plan called for 40 classrooms.

1:13:481:13:50

Not enough, we say!

1:13:501:13:52

150!

1:13:521:13:54

150 is what we'll have!

1:13:541:13:57

The bond issue hasn't been underwritten...

1:13:571:14:00

..What if something goes wrong?

1:14:001:14:02

Listen, my friend.

1:14:021:14:03

You're one of our new citizens, aren't you?

1:14:031:14:06

Well, you don't know us.

1:14:061:14:08

In 1890, our grandparents built our city hall

1:14:081:14:12

with their own hands.

1:14:121:14:14

Yes, sir!

1:14:141:14:15

If it comes to it, we'll do the same.

1:14:151:14:18

That's the kind of people we are!

1:14:181:14:22

Look, Mary. Isn't it wonderful?

1:14:251:14:28

Kill it.

1:14:281:14:30

Set up a new front page with news.

1:14:301:14:32

But, Mary, this...

1:14:321:14:34

I gave instructions

1:14:341:14:35

that none of this madness be printed.

1:14:351:14:38

The centre - it's something you've wanted.

1:14:381:14:41

It's something Papa wanted.

1:14:411:14:42

Yes, I know.

1:14:421:14:44

'Last day! Cast your opinion today.

1:14:451:14:48

'Would you vote a woman for United States President?

1:14:481:14:51

'Don't get shut out, now.

1:14:511:14:53

'Cast your opinion right away!'

1:14:531:14:56

IKE: They're cockeyed!

1:15:031:15:05

Where are the don't-knows?

1:15:051:15:07

Ask people if they still beat their grandmothers

1:15:071:15:10

and you'll get some don't-knows.

1:15:101:15:13

Please, Mr Stringer.

1:15:131:15:14

He'd rather be alone. He's thinking.

1:15:141:15:17

You mean sleeping.

1:15:171:15:19

How long is this going on?

1:15:191:15:21

He slept through the conference,

1:15:211:15:23

then woke and said, "I hope they use the back-pass dilemma".

1:15:231:15:27

What's the matter with him?

1:15:271:15:29

He makes a lot of noise.

1:15:321:15:34

I've been waiting to see you.

1:15:341:15:37

Uh, the...

1:15:371:15:38

First Grandview poll is out.

1:15:381:15:40

Gallup released their results...

1:15:451:15:48

Almost opposite.

1:15:481:15:50

They'll be laughed out of existence.

1:15:511:15:54

The radio and newspapers

1:15:541:15:56

have been at it all day.

1:15:561:15:58

What are they saying?

1:15:581:16:00

IKE: Plenty. They're getting their teeth kicked in.

1:16:001:16:03

What that boy needs is a good dose

1:16:071:16:10

of sulphur and molasses...

1:16:101:16:12

GRANDVIEW sulphur and molasses!

1:16:121:16:14

Yes.

1:16:141:16:15

BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

1:16:151:16:19

MUSIC STOPS

1:16:191:16:20

RADIO: 'This town that's always been right

1:16:201:16:23

'turned out to be ridiculously wrong.

1:16:231:16:25

'They were so out of tune with the country,

1:16:251:16:29

'people are beginning to wonder where Grandview is.

1:16:291:16:32

'Certainly, it can't be in the United States.

1:16:321:16:35

'There should be a moral in this.

1:16:351:16:37

'No-one should assume they know it all.

1:16:371:16:40

'What this little town of Grandview lost was humility,

1:16:401:16:45

'and when you've lost that, my friends,

1:16:451:16:47

'you've lost everything.

1:16:471:16:49

'Poor Grandview.

1:16:491:16:51

'They're the subject of ridicule throughout the country.'

1:16:511:16:54

Bet you had to study hard to become a moron.

1:16:541:16:57

Oh, no. I lived in Grandview.

1:16:571:17:00

'Ha, ha, ha!'

1:17:001:17:02

'RAUCOUS LAUGHTER'

1:17:111:17:13

'This is my last broadcast from this ghost town,

1:17:481:17:52

'and ghost town it is.

1:17:521:17:54

'The people have even locked themselves in their homes,

1:17:541:17:56

'ashamed of their ludicrous behaviour.

1:17:561:17:58

'No community action is being taken.'

1:17:581:18:01

Excuse me, here comes a gentleman.

1:18:011:18:04

May I have your opinion?

1:18:041:18:06

I have no opinion.

1:18:061:18:08

DOOR CLOSES

1:19:141:19:15

It's kind of deserted, isn't it?

1:19:321:19:35

They don't come here anymore.

1:19:361:19:38

They won't even talk to each other anymore.

1:19:381:19:41

Gee, that's no good.

1:19:451:19:47

People ought to talk to each other.

1:19:471:19:50

How's Ma?

1:19:511:19:53

Oh, Ma's the same.

1:19:531:19:55

Senator Wilton dropped in on me the other day.

1:19:551:19:59

Just came down from Washington.

1:19:591:20:01

Walked out on the Foreign Affairs Committee.

1:20:011:20:04

He said the pressure was on again.

1:20:041:20:07

He seemed restless, kind of lost.

1:20:071:20:09

He used to come here.

1:20:091:20:11

Yeah.

1:20:111:20:13

Oh, Mary, I had to come back.

1:20:161:20:19

I had to.

1:20:191:20:20

I couldn't work. I couldn't think.

1:20:201:20:23

I couldn't...

1:20:231:20:25

I love you, Mary.

1:20:251:20:27

The nights I lay awake...

1:20:341:20:37

..hearing you say that.

1:20:391:20:41

The hinge on that door's been broken for years.

1:21:001:21:04

Nobody seems to want to fix it.

1:21:041:21:07

I love you, Mary.

1:21:071:21:10

There was a story.

1:21:181:21:20

We ran a news story the other day.

1:21:221:21:25

The usual one...

1:21:251:21:27

"Married woman who fell in love with another man."

1:21:271:21:30

Her husband stood in their way,

1:21:301:21:33

so finally, they killed him.

1:21:331:21:35

They thought they were free...

1:21:351:21:38

..but their crime created

1:21:401:21:42

a vicious war between them...

1:21:421:21:44

Until they destroyed each other.

1:21:451:21:47

We murdered a town, Rip - you and I.

1:21:491:21:52

We killed an idea

1:21:531:21:55

my father devoted a lifetime to.

1:21:551:21:57

DOOR OPENS

1:22:011:22:02

Oh, Miss Mary.

1:22:021:22:04

I've looked every place.

1:22:041:22:06

Your telephone don't answer, and your mama wants you.

1:22:061:22:09

Your mama heard Mr Birch got a plan

1:22:091:22:12

for Freehall to run things here...

1:22:121:22:14

..I guess that means Grandview is finished...

1:22:141:22:18

..It's a shame, and nobody cares.

1:22:181:22:21

..Your mama says come right away!

1:22:211:22:24

Glad to see you, Mr Smith.

1:22:241:22:27

Goodbye, Rip.

1:22:271:22:29

Been all over town talking to everybody,

1:22:481:22:50

trying to get them together.

1:22:501:22:52

Old man Harkins practically slammed

1:22:521:22:54

the door in his face.

1:22:541:22:56

Morning, Rip. How's it going?

1:22:561:22:58

Oh, fine. Fine.

1:22:581:23:00

Well, snow or rain, boom or bust,

1:23:031:23:06

the mail's still got to be delivered.

1:23:061:23:09

They need a leader, Mr Nickleby.

1:23:101:23:12

They've always followed you.

1:23:121:23:14

Get them to do something startling,

1:23:141:23:16

something that'll arouse the admiration of the whole country,

1:23:161:23:20

something to bolster up their confidence.

1:23:201:23:22

Go through with that civic centre.

1:23:221:23:24

Start building the high school again.

1:23:241:23:27

With what? This town's broke.

1:23:271:23:29

Tax yourselves at such a fantastic rate,

1:23:291:23:32

it'll be the talk of the country.

1:23:321:23:34

People who sacrifice everything

1:23:341:23:36

for the sake of the community.

1:23:361:23:38

You're crazy.

1:23:381:23:39

I figured it'd take something crazy to wake them up!

1:23:391:23:43

Look, Senator Wilton is in town.

1:23:431:23:46

He's willing to do anything to help.

1:23:461:23:49

Suppose we get a group to do the initial financing.

1:23:491:23:53

Will you go along with it?

1:23:531:23:55

Try anything like that, and I'll stop it.

1:23:551:23:58

Now if you'll excuse me,

1:23:581:24:00

I have my own problems to work out.

1:24:001:24:03

Mr Nickleby, I realise your problems are serious,

1:24:061:24:09

but what about this town?

1:24:091:24:11

This was once a great team,

1:24:111:24:14

and you were an important member.

1:24:141:24:16

You're walking out!

1:24:161:24:17

The team's through.

1:24:171:24:19

Anybody with an ounce of brains would know that.

1:24:191:24:22

But, Mr Nickleby...

1:24:221:24:24

Do you mind?

1:24:241:24:25

No, I don't mind.

1:24:271:24:29

By all means, attend to your personal affairs.

1:24:291:24:33

So long, Hank.

1:24:341:24:36

So long.

1:24:371:24:39

Mr Birch, please.

1:24:401:24:42

Ben is signing the contract this afternoon.

1:24:431:24:46

Tomorrow Mary and I will be out of jobs.

1:24:461:24:49

Have a muffin. Go on.

1:24:491:24:51

It's my own recipe.

1:24:511:24:53

I know. I think I'll take toast.

1:24:531:24:56

It's Mr Smith, Ma'am.

1:24:561:24:58

Oh, come in, Rip.

1:24:581:25:00

Sorry I'm late, Mrs Wilton.

1:25:001:25:02

We didn't wait for you.

1:25:021:25:03

Hello, Ma.

1:25:031:25:05

We missed you terribly.

1:25:051:25:07

I missed you, too.

1:25:071:25:10

Stop that fiddle-faddle and let the boy eat.

1:25:101:25:12

Stop that fiddle-faddle(!)

1:25:121:25:15

< What happened, Rip? Any luck?

1:25:171:25:19

Senator, you ever find yourself

1:25:191:25:21

swinging at windmills?

1:25:211:25:24

That sums up his career. Take a muffin.

1:25:241:25:27

Yes. I've heard about your muffins.

1:25:271:25:30

Take one anyway.

1:25:301:25:31

Thank you.

1:25:311:25:33

Did you talk to them about the high school?

1:25:361:25:39

Yeah. They thought I was crazy.

1:25:391:25:42

I remember all those big statements

1:25:421:25:45

at the dedication.

1:25:451:25:46

"We'll build it with our own hands if necessary."

1:25:461:25:49

Huh! Inflated with their puny success.

1:25:491:25:52

I must admit, I believed them.

1:25:521:25:54

Splashed it all over the front page.

1:25:541:25:57

Mary took one look and killed the story.

1:25:571:26:00

Excuse me. Mr Nickleby's boy.

1:26:001:26:02

He wants to see Mr Smith.

1:26:021:26:05

Excuse me, Mrs. Wilton. I heard Rip was here...

1:26:051:26:08

Hank, did you want to see me?

1:26:081:26:10

Is it private?

1:26:101:26:12

Private? No, I guess not.

1:26:121:26:14

When you were talking to my father,

1:26:141:26:17

he wasn't square with you.

1:26:171:26:19

He should have told you

1:26:191:26:21

he's selling the civic centre.

1:26:211:26:23

He's selling it?

1:26:231:26:24

Yes, Ma'am. The council gave him a mortgage.

1:26:241:26:28

Right after you left, he called up Mr Birch,

1:26:281:26:31

told him to hurry if he wanted the property.

1:26:311:26:35

Why tell me?

1:26:351:26:36

I don't know. I figured maybe you could...

1:26:361:26:39

I don't know what I figured.

1:26:411:26:44

I guess I shouldn't be doing this.

1:26:461:26:49

I guess it's all wrong.

1:26:491:26:52

I love my father, Rip.

1:26:521:26:54

He's a swell guy, but...

1:26:541:26:56

You see, it's not the high school that matters.

1:26:561:27:00

What you said is right.

1:27:011:27:03

A guy shouldn't be walking out on the team.

1:27:031:27:06

I don't like to see Pop doing it.

1:27:061:27:08

I begged him not to.

1:27:081:27:11

This certainly turned out to be a dopey town.

1:27:111:27:15

SENATOR: It took a lot to make that boy do that.

1:27:181:27:23

This town better start un-doping itself.

1:27:231:27:26

What are we going to do, Rip?

1:27:261:27:29

Hey, Ma. That front page...

1:27:311:27:32

the one with the story about the high school,

1:27:321:27:36

the one Mary killed. Is there a copy of that?

1:27:361:27:40

Yes.

1:27:401:27:41

What time do you go to press?

1:27:411:27:44

About 1.30.

1:27:441:27:45

1.30.

1:27:451:27:47

Senator, could I use your telephone?

1:27:471:27:50

There's one right there.

1:27:501:27:52

What are you going to do?

1:27:531:27:55

We're going to get Nickleby

1:27:551:27:57

back on that team...

1:27:571:27:59

Nickleby and everybody else.

1:27:591:28:02

We're going to print this story in today's issue.

1:28:021:28:05

Quote that big talk and fancy statements.

1:28:051:28:08

As if they were just made?

1:28:081:28:10

Yes.

1:28:101:28:12

But that happened weeks ago, Rip.

1:28:121:28:14

Mislaid the story. Let them sue us.

1:28:141:28:18

That's what I call ramming it down their gullets!

1:28:181:28:21

Let me speak to Miss Peterman, please.

1:28:211:28:24

What'll all this accomplish?

1:28:241:28:26

It'll wake these people up!

1:28:261:28:28

It may even get them around that stove again,

1:28:281:28:30

talking, arguing, choosing sides!

1:28:301:28:32

This sounds wonderful!

1:28:321:28:34

That's just part of it.

1:28:341:28:36

There's more?

1:28:361:28:38

We'll make sure this gets national publicity.

1:28:381:28:41

We'll contact the wire services, the radio!

1:28:411:28:43

They'll HAVE to do something.

1:28:431:28:45

They'll string us up to the nearest pole.

1:28:451:28:48

So they string us up to the nearest pole!

1:28:481:28:51

At least they'll be doing something together.

1:28:511:28:54

Hello?

1:28:541:28:55

Hello, Mary?

1:28:571:28:58

Has the paper gone to press?

1:28:581:29:01

Good. Ma and I will be right over.

1:29:011:29:04

I want to try something that...

1:29:041:29:06

Mary, this town isn't dead yet.

1:29:061:29:08

We have a good chance of saving it.

1:29:081:29:11

That is, if you're crazy enough

1:29:111:29:14

to go along with the guy that...

1:29:141:29:16

Huh?

1:29:161:29:17

That's swell.

1:29:171:29:19

That's all I wanted to know.

1:29:211:29:24

Mary...

1:29:251:29:26

Thank you, Mary. We'll be right over.

1:29:311:29:34

Come on, gorgeous. We got to get moving!

1:29:381:29:42

Good heavens! I'm so excited,

1:29:421:29:44

I nearly ate one of my own muffins.

1:29:441:29:47

It's your story, GH

1:29:481:29:50

A normal town pulls a prize boner.

1:29:501:29:53

They're left broke and humiliated.

1:29:531:29:54

These wonderful people won't fold up!

1:29:541:29:57

Instead, they hitch up their britches,

1:29:571:29:59

spit in their hands, and start swinging!

1:29:591:30:02

Thank you, Nickleby.

1:30:161:30:17

Look at this, boss.

1:30:171:30:19

You just sold me that property!

1:30:191:30:22

RIP: Here comes another bunch!

1:30:251:30:27

It's working like a charm.

1:30:271:30:29

We'll have the whole town around that stove.

1:30:291:30:32

..OK. Now do your stuff.

1:30:321:30:34

Where's Mrs Peterman?

1:30:371:30:39

Mary's the one I want!

1:30:391:30:40

They're not in.

1:30:401:30:42

Playing checkers.

1:30:421:30:44

Down to the meeting hall.

1:30:441:30:46

They can't do this!

1:30:461:30:48

OK, boys.

1:30:491:30:50

< You can't get away with this!

1:30:541:30:56

We demand the story > be retracted!

1:30:561:30:59

It's a pack of lies! >

1:30:591:31:01

­ We're going to sue for libel or something!

1:31:011:31:04

< That's what we should do.

1:31:041:31:05

Anybody claim they haven't been properly quoted?

1:31:051:31:09

That was under different circumstances!

1:31:091:31:11

What insolence! >

1:31:151:31:16

Somebody get > Mr Nickleby!

1:31:161:31:18

< Yes!

1:31:181:31:19

These people are cuckoo.

1:31:211:31:24

Can't find him.

1:31:241:31:25

Can't find Rip anywhere.

1:31:251:31:27

< Here comes Mr Nickleby now!

1:31:271:31:30

I always thought you were sensible, Mary.

1:31:391:31:42

Is this your idea of a practical joke?

1:31:421:31:45

If you're interested in practical jokes, Mr Nickleby,

1:31:451:31:48

read some of your own statements.

1:31:481:31:50

Funny. Very funny.

1:31:501:31:51

All of us have a case against you

1:31:511:31:54

and against Smith.

1:31:541:31:56

RADIO: 'These magnificent people are plunging into a project

1:31:561:31:59

'that will arouse the envy of every community planner...'

1:31:591:32:02

­ Shut that off!

1:32:021:32:04

Richard, I want to hear that.

1:32:041:32:07

'They're going to build a civic centre,

1:32:071:32:10

'even though it may mean sacrifice

1:32:101:32:12

'for everyone in the entire community.

1:32:121:32:15

'Before I sign off, I want to say...

1:32:151:32:18

'more power to you, Grandview.

1:32:181:32:20

'In your circumstances, it takes great courage

1:32:201:32:23

'to tackle a programme of such magnitude.'

1:32:231:32:26

It certainly does.

1:32:261:32:27

Some of you may go crazy, but not me!

1:32:291:32:32

No radio commentator will sweet-talk me into bankruptcy.

1:32:321:32:35

If you've got sense, you'll forget this.

1:32:351:32:38

We'll see you in court!

1:32:381:32:40

< It's Rip!

1:32:531:32:54

What's this all about, son?

1:33:141:33:15

We were promised a whatcha-call-it... a new high school -

1:33:151:33:19

and we want it.

1:33:191:33:21

Hank, come home this minute!

1:33:211:33:23

..Do you hear me?

1:33:231:33:25

Yes, sir.

1:33:251:33:27

We decided if you quit the team,

1:33:351:33:38

we're going to quit, too.

1:33:381:33:40

We don't want to be ashamed of our town.

1:33:401:33:44

If you don't go through with the high school,

1:33:441:33:47

we'll be laughed at worse than ever.

1:33:471:33:49

We don't want to always be razzed.

1:33:491:33:52

Are we going to let these brats

1:33:521:33:55

tell us how to run our affairs?

1:33:551:33:58

We're trying to get you to stick by the team -

1:33:581:34:01

you and everybody else.

1:34:011:34:04

Rip says you're all wonderful people,

1:34:041:34:06

but you just lost your nerve.

1:34:061:34:09

Listen, folks!

1:34:091:34:11

Why can't we do it?

1:34:111:34:13

Your fathers and grandfathers

1:34:131:34:15

fought when they were in a jam!

1:34:151:34:17

What they did is part of our beautiful history!

1:34:171:34:21

What's wrong with us?

1:34:211:34:22

Where's the money coming from?

1:34:221:34:24

I'll read your statement, Mr Mayor.

1:34:241:34:26

"If necessary, we'll use our own two hands."

1:34:261:34:30

What about that, Mr Mayor?

1:34:301:34:32

Mary, are you suggesting that we do that?

1:34:321:34:35

Actually build it with our own hands?

1:34:351:34:38

Certainly!

1:34:381:34:40

If everybody helped, Ed...

1:34:421:34:44

This is idiotic! >

1:34:441:34:46

..The council approved the sale of the property!

1:34:461:34:49

Approved it?

1:34:491:34:51

First I hear of it.

1:34:511:34:52

Hey. Hey, Mike.

1:34:521:34:55

Mom, you're on the council.

1:34:571:35:00

Rip says you had no right to approve it.

1:35:001:35:04

Rip says it's got to be put up to the voters.

1:35:041:35:08

It should be up to the voters. That's city property.

1:35:081:35:12

What about that, > Mr Nickleby?

1:35:121:35:14

We were going to do that.

1:35:141:35:17

We intended to have a vote.

1:35:171:35:19

We assumed you wouldn't care.

1:35:191:35:21

< Wouldn't care!?

1:35:211:35:23

Ed, this is terrible.

1:35:261:35:28

< Rip Smith is right. We lost our nerve.

1:35:281:35:31

Listen, everybody.

1:35:311:35:33

I don't know about you,

1:35:331:35:35

but I don't like this.

1:35:351:35:37

It's tough to admit you've been a fool,

1:35:371:35:40

but, well, look at us.

1:35:401:35:42

Mr Nickleby assumed we wouldn't care,

1:35:421:35:45

wouldn't care if we didn't get a chance to vote.

1:35:451:35:49

When I get to that point,

1:35:491:35:51

I'll find myself a nice hole and crawl in.

1:35:511:35:55

But I'm not ready for that, in spite of Mr Nickleby.

1:35:551:35:59

..Maybe whether a town lives or dies

1:35:591:36:02

isn't important to some people,

1:36:021:36:05

but it is to me.

1:36:051:36:07

I feel as if my own family is breaking up,

1:36:071:36:10

and I don't like it.

1:36:101:36:12

If building a high school can save it, I'm for it.

1:36:121:36:17

I'll organise everyone that can handle a tool

1:36:171:36:20

and guarantee a first-class plumbing job.

1:36:201:36:24

Good for you, Pop! >

1:36:241:36:25

I'll do the same with the carpenters.

1:36:251:36:28

I'll handle lighting.

1:36:281:36:29

Count on my boys!

1:36:291:36:31

< I'll get painters!

1:36:311:36:32

I'll close my office and supervise the job!

1:36:321:36:36

That's whatcha-call-it... swell, Pop!

1:36:361:36:38

Is everybody willing to help?

1:36:381:36:41

ALL: YES!

1:36:411:36:42

Wonderful, huh?

1:36:541:36:56

Hand me the paintbrush and stand back.

1:36:561:36:59

This will take years.

1:36:591:37:01

Suppose it does. What's the hurry?

1:37:011:37:03

Rip!

1:37:191:37:20

Rip!

1:37:241:37:25

Hey. Hey, there's Senator Wilton!

1:37:331:37:36

The head of a flagging opinion-poll company discovers a town which accurately reflects the average American's opinions, and immediately recognises its money-making potential. Posing as an insurance agent, he manages to glean valuable information from the locals - until a local newspaper reporter becomes suspicious and threatens to expose his scam to the world.