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MC: 'And now, from New York, | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
'the Jerry Langford Show. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
'Jerry's guests - | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
'Tony Randall, | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
'Richard Dreyfus, Rodney Dangerfield, | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
'Dr Joyce Brothers, Lou Brown and the orchestra.' | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
And little old me, Ed Herlihy. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
And now, say hello... | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
to Jerry! | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
WHISTLING | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
Thank you very much. You look like a great audience. | 0:00:57 | 0:01:01 | |
Lou Brown, ladies and gentlemen and the marvellous Langford Orchestra. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:06 | |
And Ed, how are you tonight? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
-I'm very well. -I'm sorry I woke you. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
If you want Jerry's autograph, give me the books. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
Give me the books. OK. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
MAN: Have him write something personal. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Half an hour! Goodbye. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
MAN MUTTERS | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
Hiya, Rupert. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
Hey, Rupert, who did you get? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
I got Rodney Dangerfield. I'll trade it for Barbra. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
Sidney, I'm really not that interested. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:57 | |
-It's not my whole life - -What's that supposed to mean? | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
It's not my whole life. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
It's yours, but not mine. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
EXCITED SCREAMING | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
SCREAMING | 0:02:13 | 0:02:15 | |
Jerry, excuse me. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
I love you. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
Don't go, Jerry. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
No! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Would you stop shoving? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
Are you OK? | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
HUBBUB DROWNS SPEECH | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Jerry! No, no! | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
MUSIC: "Come Rain Or Come Shine" by Ray Charles | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
# I'm gonna love you | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
# Like no-one's loved you | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
# Come rain or come shine | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
# High as a mountain | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
# Deep as a river | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
# Come rain or come shine | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
# I guess when you met me | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
# It was just one of those things | 0:03:46 | 0:03:49 | |
# But don't ever bet me | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
# Cos I'm gonna be true | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
# Well, if you let me | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
# You're gonna love me | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
# Like nobody's loved me | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
# Come rain or come shine | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
# Happy together | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
# Unhappy together | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
# Wouldn't it be fine? | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
# Days may be cloudy or sunny | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
# We're in or we're out of the money | 0:04:46 | 0:04:50 | |
# Yeah | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
# I'm with you always | 0:04:53 | 0:04:57 | |
# I'm with you rain | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
# Or shine | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
# Yeah. # | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
SCREAMING | 0:05:19 | 0:05:20 | |
No, will you just please...? | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
OK! | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
Stand back! Stand back! | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Please let Mr Langford get some air. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
Stand back! | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
Get your hands off me! | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
Jerry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to disturb you. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
-I just want to talk to you. -This is not the time. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:04 | |
If we could just drive away. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:05 | |
-I'll talk while we drive. -Drive away? | 0:06:05 | 0:06:08 | |
I don't like people getting in the car. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
I don't mean to be rude, but I put myself on the line for you. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
Go ahead, Harvey. Hit it. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
HORN BEEPS | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
Here. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
Thanks. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
-Is that your initials? -Yeah. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
I want to tell you, my name is Rupert Pupkin. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
It means nothing to you, but it means an awful lot to me. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
Calm down. Calm down. Take your time. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
You might have wondered who I am. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:50 | |
I've been outside your show many times. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
I'm in communications right now, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
but by nature I'm a comedian, you know. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
I know what you'll say. "Oh, no, not another one." | 0:06:58 | 0:07:02 | |
Believe me, I'm good. I'm dynamite. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:05 | |
I wouldn't take your time if I wasn't convinced I'm dynamite. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
You wonder, if I'm so good, why haven't you caught my act somewhere. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:14 | |
I'll tell you why. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
Up till now, I've bided my time slowly and carefully. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
So that when my big break came, like you when Jack Parr got sick. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:25 | |
That night convinced me I wanted to be a comedian. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
I walked out of that show like I was in a dream. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
I saw you on Sullivan. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
I studied everything you did. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
I studied the way you built your one-liners, nice and relaxed. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:41 | |
How you didn't say, "Folks, here's the punch line." | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
You know what I'm talking about? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
You don't say, "Here's the punch line." You just do it. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:51 | |
Exactly. That's what I love. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
What I'm trying to say is, | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
now I'm ready. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
I've finished the course. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
And I'm thinking, as I sit here now, that maybe this is my big break. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:04 | |
You know what I mean? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:05 | |
What do you think? | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
-What did you say your name was? -Rupert Pupkin. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
Look, pal, I gotta tell you this is a crazy business. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:20 | |
But it's not unlike others. There are ground rules. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:24 | |
You don't walk on to a network show without experience. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
It's a hackneyed expression, but you have to start at the bottom. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:32 | |
-I know. That's where I am. -That's perfect. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
I know that but there's gotta be... | 0:08:35 | 0:08:38 | |
It looks so simple to the viewer at home. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
Those things that are so relaxed and look like it's a matter of just taking another breath, | 0:08:41 | 0:08:47 | |
it takes years and years of honing it. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
I don't mean to interrupt you, but the problem is I'm 34 years old. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:55 | |
I'm asking you to listen to my act, that's all. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
Tell me what you think about it. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
I'll tell you what. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
Why don't you call my office and ask for Cathy Long, my secretary? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:07 | |
We'll make time for you. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
I had this conversation in my head many times. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
-Did it always turn out this way? -Yeah, it did. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:16 | |
I believe when you get over the initial shyness, you'll be OK. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
-Yeah? -Yeah. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
I hope it works out for you, Rupert. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
Thanks, Jerry. Thanks a lot. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
It was a pleasure meeting you, Jerry. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
Jerry. I'm a little short on cash, but I'd love to take you to dinner. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:35 | |
I've got people waiting for me. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
OK. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:39 | |
Thanks, Jerry. Jerry. Let me show you a picture of my pride and joy. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:44 | |
-That's good. -That's good, is it? -Yeah, it is. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
Hey, Jerry, take it. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Take it. Go ahead. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
Consider it a gift. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
I will. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
Jerry! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
Seriously, you ever want lunch, my treat. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
Call my office. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
OK. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:08 | |
Jerry, | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
you're a prince. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:12 | |
Hey, Rupe, I really appreciate you meeting me for lunch. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
I know how busy and how tired you are. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
What are friends for, Jerry? | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
-You're the one who looks tired. -Yeah, I know. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
It's the show. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
The pressure, the ratings. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
The same guests, the same questions. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
I'm not enjoying it any more. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
That's...the worst. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
Listen. I really wish you'd think about it again. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:02 | |
What? You're starting again? | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
You're starting up again? | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
-It's not that big a deal to think. -I am thinking. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
I do. I think day and night about it. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
How can I not think about it? | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
I'm having lunch with you, which is why you invited me. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
I'm just getting guilty with you. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
I want you to take over the show for six weeks. What's six weeks? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:26 | |
I'll give you anything, but don't ask me to do the show for six weeks. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:31 | |
I can't even take over my own life for six weeks. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
You're asking me to do something impossible. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:38 | |
-Rupert! -What? | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
What are you doing down there? | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
It's impossible! Do you want the tears to come out of my eyes? | 0:11:42 | 0:11:46 | |
There must be a way to work it out. It's just six weeks. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:50 | |
Excuse me. ..Mr Pupkin? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
-Do you think you could...? -Yeah. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
What's your name, dear? | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
-Dolores. -Dolores? That was my father's name. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
"To Dolores... | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
"Sensed greatness." | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
There you go, sweetheart. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
-Thanks, Mr Pupkin. -Don't mention it. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
MOM: Rupert! Who are you talking to? | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
-Mom! -What is it? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
PLEASE stop calling me. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
It's terrific. It's great. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:27 | |
There's only one problem. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
-He made you bigger. -Will you give me an answer? | 0:12:29 | 0:12:33 | |
All right, you got the six weeks. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Don't bother me. I'll give you the six weeks. Are you happy now? | 0:12:35 | 0:12:39 | |
-You're a tough man, Rupe. -You gotta be in this business. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:44 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
-Hello. -'Hello. It's Masha, Jerry.' | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
Who? Who is this? | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
'It's Masha. I left a note on the back seat.' | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
'I dropped it before they dragged me out.' | 0:13:33 | 0:13:36 | |
'Those guys hurt me. I think it was a bit much.' | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
-How did you get this number? -'Don't get angry.' | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
How did you get this number? | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
'I've been trying to call you...' | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
HE TAKES PHONE OFF HOOK | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
How have you been, Rita? | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
Do I know you? | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
I think you might. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
Rupert. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
-Rupert Pupkin, right? -Right. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I brought you a little present. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
Oh, yeah, I remember. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
Mr Romance. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
An aspirin will help it last. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
So, what are you up to these days? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
You're looking as beautiful as ever, Rita. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Here I am. Local cheerleader makes good. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
You know, | 0:15:05 | 0:15:06 | |
it's funny, but I voted for you in Miss Beautiful. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:10 | |
-Did you? That was sweet. -I didn't have the nerve to tell you. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:14 | |
Now you can tell me. We're both adults. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Isn't that funny, though? | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
When you're younger, you're afraid to say those things. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:24 | |
15, 20 years later, you can say all those things you should have. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:28 | |
Isn't that the final irony of life? | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
I guess. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
Are you happy in this place, Rita? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:38 | |
-Why? You got something better? -Maybe. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:43 | |
-Like what? -What are you doing tonight? | 0:15:43 | 0:15:46 | |
What am I doing tonight? | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
What's so funny? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
It only took you 15 years to ask me for a date. It's a little late. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
Really? | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
Well... | 0:15:57 | 0:15:58 | |
Waiter. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
Can I have a fresh one? | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
Rita. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
Who is your favourite movie star? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
What is this? Some kind of a game? | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
Will you tell me something about my character? | 0:16:09 | 0:16:12 | |
You'll see. Everybody has a favourite movie star. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:16 | |
I'd better come up with somebody or we won't get out of here. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
-That's a little test. -Oh, let's see. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
Marilyn Monroe. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
Perfect. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
Ballot register, huh? | 0:16:37 | 0:16:39 | |
That's her name. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
She signed this on the publicity tour for The Misfits. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:48 | |
-That was her last movie. -Yeah. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
She wasn't a great actress, but she did have a real gift for comedy. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
She died tragically alone like many of the world's beautiful women. | 0:16:55 | 0:17:00 | |
I don't want to see that happen to you. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
Who's this? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
Burt Reynolds. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
Mel Brooks. He's what you call "on" funny. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
Others are just regular. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
Sid Caesar is remarkable. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
I like him. He's great. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:19 | |
-Woody Allen is a personal friend of mine. -Of course he is. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
No, he is. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
That's Ernie Kovacs. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
He was wonderful. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
He was a great comedian. A great innovator. A great loss. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:34 | |
I bet these are worth money. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
Oh, yeah. Especially this one. Just hold it. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
Who's this? | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
Just take a guess. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
It looks like a retard wrote this. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
The more scribbled the name, the bigger the fame. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:55 | |
That may be true, but who is it? | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
R is the first letter. | 0:17:58 | 0:17:59 | |
-Who is it? I'm tired. -I'll give you a hint. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
Oooh. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Robert Redford. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
No. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
No, no. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
That's Rupert Pupkin. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
Rupert Pupkin. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:19 | |
I surprised you, didn't I? | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
Take this as a gift. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
Take care of it. Everyone will want one. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
Rupert, you have not changed. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
Today, do you know who I was talking to? Guess. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
Your shrink? | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
That's very funny. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
No. Jerry Langford. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
Yes. THE Jerry Langford. He gave me the go-ahead. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:51 | |
And you know what? Don't tell anyone, | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
but you're with the new King of Comedy. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
Why not me? | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
Why not? A guy can get anything he wants if he pays the price. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
What's so funny? Crazier things have happened. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:07 | |
You don't understand what a shot on Langford means. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
It's national TV. A bigger audience than you could get in a lifetime. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:16 | |
A shot at the comedy circuit. | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
A comedy show of my own. The Rupert Pupkin Show. Everything. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
That all leads to Hollywood. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
A beach house in Malibu. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
We'll keep a suite at the Sheri. Everybody big stays there. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:31 | |
Up top, so we can look down and yell, "Tough luck, suckers." | 0:19:31 | 0:19:36 | |
Come on. What do you say? | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
It sounds wonderful, Rupert, | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
but it's getting late and I'm a working girl. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
-I gotta go home. -I don't get you. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
Here I am offering you a way out. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
Rita, | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
every king needs a queen. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
I want you to be mine. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
Thanks. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
It's a very nice street. Nice building. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
-Thanks for your jacket, Rupert. -Oh. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
I guess you're entitled to come up and have some coffee. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
No. I wouldn't want to impose, really. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
What do you want, Rupert? | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
What? | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
What do you want? | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
What do I want? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
You still don't understand? I love you. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
I want to help change your life. Just give me a chance. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:27 | |
What if I set something up between me, you and Jerry? | 0:20:28 | 0:20:32 | |
What if we went out for dinner? What do you think? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
Or we'll go to his summer house. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
-He wouldn't want to meet me. -Not true. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
Jerry is a very nice guy. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
He's a nice guy and we had a terrific meeting. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
Don't sell yourself short. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:50 | |
You have too little faith. You're wonderful. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
Why don't you go to sleep and get a good night's rest? | 0:20:55 | 0:20:58 | |
OK? | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
OK. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
-Good night, Rupert. -Good night. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
Go to sleep right away. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
I tell you, boy. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:22 | |
Hiya, Liza. Good seeing you. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
Jerry. Good seeing you. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:27 | |
Jerry. Don't get up. | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
Ah, boy, I'll tell you. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
Every time you come back from a tour, | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
something in the air really becomes you. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
It's like you're rejuvenated. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Isn't that so, everybody? Isn't that so? | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
Yeah, that's the truth. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
Amazing. You look wonderful. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
You look wonderful, too, Jerry. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
I wasn't leaving you out. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:52 | |
What? | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Yeah! | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
Ah, Jerry. I love this guy. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
You always come out with these great lines. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
You're wonderful. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
I don't know what I'd do without you. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
MOM: Rupert, your bus is here. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
Try to be on time for once! | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
I can't believe this. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
I gotta go now. I gotta catch a bus. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
Jerry, take care of yourself. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
Baby, be good. Good luck in Rio. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
-Good morning, Rupert. -Good morning. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
-How are you? -This is for you. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:35 | |
Work. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:37 | |
-What time is it? -Ten o'clock. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
Ten o'clock? Can I use the phone for one second? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
Is it local? Sure. Just dial 9 and make it short. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:49 | |
Hello. Jerry Langford, please. | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
Rupert Pupkin. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
Thank you. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
Yes. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
Is Jerry there, please? Rupert Pupkin. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
Yes. Just tell him it's Rupert calling. He'll know what it's about. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:13 | |
Oh. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Oh, he is? That's OK. I'm in a meeting myself. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:21 | |
Just tell him I called, OK? Thank you. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
And I'll call later. Bye. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
Is that THE Jerry Langford? | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
I'll see you. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
Hello. Jerry Langford, please. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
Rupert Pupkin. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
Rupert Pupkin calling Jerry Langford. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
Which, the first or the second name? | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
P-U-P-K-I-N. It's often mispronounced and misspelled. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:47 | |
So that's quite... | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Yes, Jerry knows what I'm calling about. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
I see, I see. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
I see. Yes, you can call me. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
I'll be here for the next hour and a half. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
I'm at my office. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
The number is JL5-4321. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
Don't worry. I am waiting for a phone call. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
All these phones don't work. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
The phone does not work. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
I am expecting a phone call. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
Let me try. I'll make a phone call. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
Hey, wait, wait, wait! | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
Let me just slide in. Let me just make a call! | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
This phone don't work! | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
POLICE SIREN STARTS UP | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
-Yes, sir? -Jerry Langford, please. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:09 | |
-Your name, please? -Pupkin. Rupert Pupkin. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
Rupert... | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
Pupkin. P-U-P-K-I-N. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
People often misspell it or mispronounce it. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
There's a man here by the name of Rupert Pumpkin. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:27 | |
To see Mr Langford. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
I'm sorry, Mr Pumpkin, | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
but his secretary has no record of your appointment. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:38 | |
Pardon me? | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
We have no record of an appointment. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
Technically speaking, I don't have an official appointment. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:48 | |
But he did ask me to call him personally. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
I had trouble calling for some reason. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
The line seemed to be busy. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
He has no appointment. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
His secretary wants to know what this is in reference to. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:03 | |
Hello. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
Jerry and I discussed my being on the show. He told me to call. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
Oh, sure, sure. Sure. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
I'm supposed to wait. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
Is that cork? | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
I don't know what it is. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
-Is it dripping on you? -No. I was looking at the patterns. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:59 | |
Cork is good for sound. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
It's very quiet in here. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
Reception. No, you've got an hour or so before they come. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
No, he hasn't come back. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Mr Pipkin? | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
-Pupkin. -I'm Cathy Long. Can I help you? | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
I'm Bert Thomas's assistant. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
He's our executive producer. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
I've already spoken to Jerry directly about being on the show. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:28 | |
He told me to get in touch personally. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
-What is it that you do? -I'm a stand-up comic. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
Right now I'm just working on new material. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
As soon as you start working again, | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
call us and we'll send someone to check out your act. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:44 | |
Jerry and I went over this last night. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
-Does Jerry know your work? -Yes. I don't think he does. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:51 | |
-Do you have a tape I can listen to? -A tape? Naturally. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 | |
-Drop me by a tape. -I will. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
I can see why Jerry would need that. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
-Of course. Nice meeting you. -Nice meeting you, too. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
This is really what's right. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
This is great. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:08 | |
See you again. Nice talking to you. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
Rupert. Hey, Rupert! | 0:28:20 | 0:28:22 | |
I've got to talk to you. What happened last night? | 0:28:22 | 0:28:26 | |
-Nothing happened. -Did he talk about me? | 0:28:26 | 0:28:29 | |
-No. He talked about me. -He must have said something about me. | 0:28:29 | 0:28:33 | |
What's he gonna say about you after what you did in the car? | 0:28:33 | 0:28:37 | |
You must really love this, Rupert. | 0:28:37 | 0:28:39 | |
-You were schmucko supremo. -I'm the schmuck, me? | 0:28:39 | 0:28:43 | |
You're very wrong, buddy. | 0:28:43 | 0:28:45 | |
If I hadn't gotten in that car, | 0:28:45 | 0:28:48 | |
-you couldn't have talked to Jerry. -What? -Yes! | 0:28:48 | 0:28:51 | |
I don't want to be cruel, but God forbid he should see me with you. | 0:28:51 | 0:28:56 | |
Jerry and I have a real relationship. No fantasy world. | 0:28:56 | 0:29:00 | |
I don't even want to see you any more. | 0:29:00 | 0:29:03 | |
If that's how you want it. | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 | |
-I'm sorry. -Just get it to him! | 0:29:06 | 0:29:09 | |
I'm giving him nothing. No way, Jose. | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
-You're so friendly. You do it. -We have communication problems. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:16 | |
Is that what you call it? Go ahead. Give it to him. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:20 | |
Just do this for me. I've done things for you. | 0:29:20 | 0:29:23 | |
You haven't done anything for me! What do you mean? | 0:29:23 | 0:29:27 | |
How about Howard Johnson's? I brought you coffee every night. | 0:29:27 | 0:29:31 | |
I think your mind is screwed up. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:33 | |
-I bought my own coffee. -You never bought anything! | 0:29:33 | 0:29:37 | |
I did things for you that NO money can buy. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:40 | |
What about the time I gave you my spot? | 0:29:40 | 0:29:43 | |
I let you get next to Jerry. I waited for eight hours for him. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:47 | |
You were crying and you got next to him. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
I gave you my last album of The Best Of Jerry! | 0:29:50 | 0:29:53 | |
It wasn't anybody else. It was ME. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:55 | |
I didn't ask for money and I can't pay my rent! | 0:29:55 | 0:29:59 | |
I live in a hovel and you live in a townhouse! I can't believe you! | 0:29:59 | 0:30:03 | |
If you want to do that, I've got money for you. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:06 | |
I can't believe how long I've listened to your tired jokes. | 0:30:06 | 0:30:11 | |
Will you be quiet? | 0:30:11 | 0:30:13 | |
Take this and give it to Jerry! | 0:30:13 | 0:30:15 | |
All right. This is the last time. The last time. | 0:30:15 | 0:30:18 | |
-When will you get it to him? -You're a wacko. | 0:30:18 | 0:30:21 | |
I'll know if you don't! I know where you work! | 0:30:21 | 0:30:25 | |
I cover the waterfront! Remember that. | 0:30:25 | 0:30:28 | |
What are you looking at? You're scum, street trash. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:32 | |
Miss Long, thanks for your help and passing this on to Jerry. | 0:30:46 | 0:30:50 | |
I appreciate it more than you know. | 0:30:50 | 0:30:53 | |
Jerry, before I begin, I want to thank you for listening to this | 0:30:53 | 0:30:57 | |
and for the opportunity you've given me. | 0:30:57 | 0:31:00 | |
People think that guys who've made it | 0:31:00 | 0:31:03 | |
lose their feeling for struggling young talent. | 0:31:03 | 0:31:06 | |
But now I know those people are just cynics embittered by their own failure. | 0:31:06 | 0:31:12 | |
You are as human as the rest of us. If not more so. | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
There's no point in going on about it. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:18 | |
So, let's get on with the show - The Best Of Rupert Pupkin. | 0:31:18 | 0:31:22 | |
I've sketched out this outline to save you a bit of time. | 0:31:22 | 0:31:26 | |
It's a little introduction. | 0:31:26 | 0:31:28 | |
Close your eyes and imagine it's exactly six o'clock. | 0:31:28 | 0:31:33 | |
You're in the wings and the orchestra strikes up your theme song. | 0:31:33 | 0:31:37 | |
MUSIC: "Jerry Langford Theme" | 0:31:37 | 0:31:40 | |
MC: 'And now, from New York, it's the Jerry Langford Show.' | 0:31:40 | 0:31:44 | |
'With Jerry's guests, Richard Pryor, Ben Gazzara, Elizabeth Ashley, Carol Burnett...' | 0:31:44 | 0:31:51 | |
And the comedy find of the year, making his television debut, | 0:31:51 | 0:31:55 | |
Rupert Pupkin, the new King of Comedy. | 0:31:55 | 0:31:58 | |
MOM: Rupert! Are you crazy? | 0:31:58 | 0:32:01 | |
What's the matter with you? People are asleep. Lower it! | 0:32:01 | 0:32:05 | |
HE MOUTHS | 0:32:05 | 0:32:07 | |
MOM: What's the matter with you? | 0:32:07 | 0:32:09 | |
Mom! | 0:32:09 | 0:32:11 | |
-Take it easy. Lower it. -I won't! I have to do this now! | 0:32:11 | 0:32:15 | |
I don't mind you playing it, but lower it. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:18 | |
You come on, Jerry, and do your monologue. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:23 | |
Then this is how I see you introducing me, saying something like this. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:28 | |
Will you please give your warmest welcome to the newest King of Comedy - Rupert Pupkin! | 0:32:28 | 0:32:35 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:32:35 | 0:32:37 | |
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:32:38 | 0:32:41 | |
My name is Rupert Pupkin. I was born in New Jersey. | 0:32:41 | 0:32:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:32:44 | 0:32:46 | |
Is there anyone here from...? | 0:32:49 | 0:32:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:32:51 | 0:32:53 | |
But the fact is... | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH | 0:32:57 | 0:33:00 | |
INTENSE LAUGHTER REVERBERATES | 0:33:02 | 0:33:08 | |
Mr Pipkin. | 0:33:28 | 0:33:30 | |
-Pupkin. -Pupkin, sorry. -You'll get it right one day. | 0:33:30 | 0:33:34 | |
-I bet you have a tape for me. -Right here. -Got your name on it? | 0:33:34 | 0:33:39 | |
We'll listen and get it back to you. | 0:33:39 | 0:33:41 | |
Thank you. When Jerry finds a moment. | 0:33:41 | 0:33:44 | |
When will that be? | 0:33:44 | 0:33:46 | |
Actually, you can try me tomorrow. Otherwise Monday. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:52 | |
Monday? | 0:33:52 | 0:33:54 | |
Miss Long, I might just wait here a while. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:57 | |
-Maybe Jerry will find a minute. -Mr Pupkin, you're wasting your time. | 0:33:57 | 0:34:02 | |
I don't mind. I'm not wasting my time. | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
I'm glad to do it. It's important to me. | 0:34:05 | 0:34:08 | |
-I really don't mind. -It'll be Monday. -Monday? | 0:34:08 | 0:34:11 | |
Well, I'll still wait. | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
Really, I don't mind. It's OK. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
Why don't you try me tomorrow? | 0:34:20 | 0:34:22 | |
Tomorrow? | 0:34:22 | 0:34:24 | |
-What time tomorrow? -4:30. -4:30. I'll be here. Thank you. | 0:34:24 | 0:34:29 | |
-You're welcome. -And thank Jerry. -I will. | 0:34:29 | 0:34:32 | |
Goodbye. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:38 | |
Goodbye. | 0:34:42 | 0:34:44 | |
At least once in his life, | 0:34:45 | 0:34:48 | |
every man is a genius. | 0:34:48 | 0:34:50 | |
Rupe, it'll be more than once in your life for you. | 0:34:50 | 0:34:54 | |
Because you've got it. | 0:34:54 | 0:34:56 | |
From what I heard, you've got it. | 0:34:56 | 0:34:58 | |
You're stuck with it. You can't get rid of it. | 0:34:58 | 0:35:01 | |
It's always gonna be there. | 0:35:01 | 0:35:03 | |
Now, I know there's no formula for it. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:06 | |
I just don't know how you do it. | 0:35:06 | 0:35:08 | |
And I'm not curious because I want to use the material. | 0:35:08 | 0:35:13 | |
I'm curious because I want to know how you do it. | 0:35:13 | 0:35:16 | |
I have to ask you that. How do you do it? | 0:35:16 | 0:35:19 | |
I think it's that I look at my whole life | 0:35:19 | 0:35:22 | |
and I see the awful, terrible things in my life and turn it into something funny. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:28 | |
It just happens. | 0:35:28 | 0:35:30 | |
Were the one-liners strong enough? | 0:35:30 | 0:35:33 | |
If they were stronger, you'd hurt yourself. | 0:35:33 | 0:35:36 | |
They're marvellous, you daffy bastard. | 0:35:36 | 0:35:39 | |
I remember a man said... | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
Listen to me. A man said something profound years ago which I later originated. | 0:35:41 | 0:35:46 | |
"If it ain't broke, | 0:35:46 | 0:35:49 | |
"don't fix it." How do I know it's so good? | 0:35:49 | 0:35:52 | |
Cos I envy you. | 0:35:52 | 0:35:54 | |
I hate you, but I envy you, because it's marvellous. | 0:35:54 | 0:35:57 | |
It's humour based on you. No-one else can do it but you. | 0:35:57 | 0:36:02 | |
I wouldn't lie. I wouldn't lie to you, Rupe. | 0:36:02 | 0:36:05 | |
This weekend would be a perfect time for you to come out to the house | 0:36:05 | 0:36:09 | |
and we can hash it around. | 0:36:09 | 0:36:11 | |
I want to know how you do it. | 0:36:11 | 0:36:13 | |
There'll be people there, but we can work. | 0:36:13 | 0:36:16 | |
It sounds great. | 0:36:16 | 0:36:18 | |
-I would really like to come. -Wonderful. | 0:36:18 | 0:36:21 | |
-Could I bring somebody? -A young lady? | 0:36:21 | 0:36:25 | |
A very special young lady. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
Of course. I'd like to meet her. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:30 | |
CAR HORN BEEPS | 0:36:31 | 0:36:33 | |
-Hey, Jerry, how are you doing? -How are you? | 0:36:33 | 0:36:36 | |
-You're looking good. -You should see me in white taffeta. | 0:36:36 | 0:36:40 | |
You do some great shows, Jerry. | 0:36:40 | 0:36:43 | |
Thanks a lot. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:45 | |
-How about putting me on your show? -I could have used you last night. | 0:36:45 | 0:36:50 | |
WHISTLING FROM ABOVE | 0:36:51 | 0:36:53 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:36:53 | 0:36:55 | |
CHEERING | 0:36:55 | 0:36:57 | |
Come on down! | 0:37:03 | 0:37:05 | |
-Hi, Jerry, how are you? -Hi, there. | 0:37:09 | 0:37:11 | |
Morris, you will not believe who is here. | 0:37:11 | 0:37:14 | |
Jerry Langford, right? | 0:37:14 | 0:37:16 | |
Morris, please hold on. | 0:37:16 | 0:37:18 | |
Could you sign my magazine? | 0:37:18 | 0:37:20 | |
You're wonderful. I've watched your entire career. | 0:37:20 | 0:37:24 | |
Please would you just say something to my nephew Morris? | 0:37:24 | 0:37:28 | |
He's in the hospital. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:30 | |
-I'm sorry, I'm late. -You should get cancer! | 0:37:30 | 0:37:33 | |
I hope you get cancer! | 0:37:33 | 0:37:35 | |
I can't. I'm late. | 0:37:35 | 0:37:37 | |
CAR HORNS BLARE | 0:38:03 | 0:38:06 | |
Yes, sir? Oh, hi. | 0:38:41 | 0:38:43 | |
-Hi. How are you? -Not bad. | 0:38:43 | 0:38:45 | |
Good, good. I'm fine. | 0:38:45 | 0:38:47 | |
Can I help you? | 0:38:47 | 0:38:50 | |
Yes. I'd like to see Jerry. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:52 | |
-You are...? -Pupkin. | 0:38:52 | 0:38:55 | |
Rupert Pupkin. | 0:38:55 | 0:38:56 | |
Mr Pupkin's here. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
She'll be with you in a minute. | 0:39:02 | 0:39:04 | |
Who was that? | 0:39:04 | 0:39:06 | |
-Miss Long. -Oh. | 0:39:06 | 0:39:08 | |
I'd prefer to see Jerry. | 0:39:09 | 0:39:12 | |
Miss Long will take care of you. | 0:39:12 | 0:39:14 | |
OK. I'll wait right here. | 0:39:14 | 0:39:16 | |
And as a surprise to Rupert, | 0:39:23 | 0:39:25 | |
we'd like to present to you someone in a form we've never presented before. | 0:39:25 | 0:39:30 | |
Would you please welcome our mystery guest? | 0:39:30 | 0:39:34 | |
Let's hear it for him. | 0:39:34 | 0:39:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:39:36 | 0:39:38 | |
Jerry, this is the mystery guest? | 0:39:45 | 0:39:47 | |
This is the mystery guest. | 0:39:47 | 0:39:49 | |
Let's see if I can place him. I think I know. | 0:39:49 | 0:39:52 | |
-Don't you remember me? -No, I don't. | 0:39:52 | 0:39:55 | |
-I'm George Kapp. -George Kapp, my high school principal. | 0:39:55 | 0:39:59 | |
-Yes. -Well, how are you? | 0:39:59 | 0:40:01 | |
He used to fail me all the time. He's an enemy. | 0:40:01 | 0:40:05 | |
-Only because you deserved it. -Oh, thank you. | 0:40:05 | 0:40:08 | |
I'm a justice of the peace now. I perform weddings. | 0:40:08 | 0:40:12 | |
MUSIC: "Here Comes The Bride" | 0:40:12 | 0:40:14 | |
What are you doing? I can't believe this. | 0:40:17 | 0:40:20 | |
Just believe it. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:22 | |
How would you like to see the King of Comedy marry his queen right here on the show? | 0:40:22 | 0:40:28 | |
-I don't know what to say! -APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:40:28 | 0:40:31 | |
FLOURISH | 0:40:47 | 0:40:51 | |
MUSIC: "Here Comes The Bride" | 0:40:57 | 0:40:59 | |
Dearly beloved. | 0:41:41 | 0:41:43 | |
When Rupert was a student at Clifton High School, | 0:41:43 | 0:41:47 | |
none of us, myself, his teachers, his classmates, | 0:41:47 | 0:41:50 | |
dreamt that he would amount to a hill of beans. | 0:41:50 | 0:41:54 | |
But we were wrong. And, Rupert, you were right. | 0:41:56 | 0:41:59 | |
And that's why tonight, | 0:42:00 | 0:42:02 | |
before the entire nation, | 0:42:02 | 0:42:04 | |
we'd like to apologise to you personally | 0:42:04 | 0:42:07 | |
and to beg your forgiveness | 0:42:09 | 0:42:11 | |
for all the things we did to you. | 0:42:12 | 0:42:14 | |
And we'd like to thank you personally, all of us, | 0:42:15 | 0:42:19 | |
for the meaning | 0:42:19 | 0:42:21 | |
you've given | 0:42:21 | 0:42:23 | |
our lives. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:25 | |
Please accept our warmest wishes, Rita, | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
and Rupert, | 0:42:28 | 0:42:30 | |
for a long and successful reign together. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:33 | |
We'll be back to marry them after this word. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:39 | |
Mr Pupkin. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
-How are you today? -I'm fine. -Good, good. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:46 | |
Thank you for your tape. We listened to it with great interest. | 0:42:46 | 0:42:50 | |
-I'm glad. -We see a lot of good things in what you do. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:54 | |
-We think you have good potential. -Good, good. | 0:42:54 | 0:42:57 | |
-So I'll be honest. -You should be honest. | 0:42:57 | 0:43:00 | |
-We don't think you're ready yet. -Don't think I'm ready? | 0:43:00 | 0:43:04 | |
Right now you're not right for Jerry. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:07 | |
-Some of the material is good. -Yes. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:10 | |
But some of the one-liners are not strong. | 0:43:10 | 0:43:13 | |
They're not very strong. You didn't like the jokes? | 0:43:13 | 0:43:17 | |
-That's right. -Good. I can take care of that. | 0:43:17 | 0:43:20 | |
Tell me the ones you don't like. It will help. | 0:43:20 | 0:43:23 | |
-You have good potential. Your timing was excellent. -Thanks. | 0:43:23 | 0:43:28 | |
You should develop your act and test it with live situations. | 0:43:28 | 0:43:32 | |
That would be good for you. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:34 | |
There are a number of clubs you can try. | 0:43:34 | 0:43:37 | |
When you start, give us a call. We'll send someone to see you. | 0:43:37 | 0:43:42 | |
-Thanks. -You're welcome. Bye. | 0:43:42 | 0:43:44 | |
Thank you. | 0:43:44 | 0:43:46 | |
-May I ask you a question? -Yes. | 0:43:47 | 0:43:49 | |
-Are you speaking for Jerry? -Yes, I am. | 0:43:49 | 0:43:52 | |
He has faith in our judgment. | 0:43:52 | 0:43:54 | |
I'm sorry, and don't take this personally, but I don't. | 0:43:54 | 0:43:57 | |
I DON'T have faith in your judgment. | 0:43:57 | 0:44:00 | |
I'm sorry you feel that way. We can't do anything about that. | 0:44:00 | 0:44:04 | |
No. I have to disagree with you. | 0:44:04 | 0:44:07 | |
That's your privilege, Mr Pupkin. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:09 | |
Excuse me, please. I'm busy. | 0:44:09 | 0:44:11 | |
Miss Long, when is Jerry back? | 0:44:11 | 0:44:14 | |
Mr Langford will be in late this afternoon. | 0:44:14 | 0:44:17 | |
We mean what we say when we thank you for stepping up. | 0:44:17 | 0:44:21 | |
We mean it when we say call us when you start working. | 0:44:21 | 0:44:24 | |
All right? Bye. | 0:44:24 | 0:44:27 | |
Goodbye. | 0:44:27 | 0:44:28 | |
Is there anyone else you'd like to see? | 0:44:51 | 0:44:54 | |
No. That's all right. | 0:44:56 | 0:44:58 | |
I don't mind waiting. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:02 | |
It's like the man who waited so long he forgot what he waited for. | 0:45:03 | 0:45:07 | |
Well, would you mind waiting outside, Mr Pupnik? | 0:45:08 | 0:45:12 | |
This is not a waiting room. | 0:45:12 | 0:45:15 | |
I understand. | 0:45:15 | 0:45:17 | |
Did you ask him to leave? Yeah. But he won't go. | 0:45:28 | 0:45:31 | |
What's his name? Rupert Pumpkin. | 0:45:31 | 0:45:34 | |
-Hi. -Hi. | 0:45:35 | 0:45:37 | |
I'm Raymond Wirtz, in charge of security. | 0:45:37 | 0:45:41 | |
-Let's go outside. Is this your bag? -Yes. | 0:45:41 | 0:45:44 | |
-I'm waiting for Jerry. -We'll talk outside. | 0:45:44 | 0:45:47 | |
I know he's expecting me. | 0:45:47 | 0:45:49 | |
We'll talk outside. Take your bag. | 0:45:49 | 0:45:51 | |
I'll explain company policy to you on the way, OK? | 0:45:51 | 0:45:55 | |
Now, I'm pretty sure you understand we have certain rules here | 0:45:55 | 0:46:00 | |
that are essential to the smooth functioning of our operation. | 0:46:00 | 0:46:04 | |
-Can I just say that...? -Now, just listen, please. | 0:46:04 | 0:46:08 | |
Without these rules we really wouldn't be able to function at our best. | 0:46:08 | 0:46:13 | |
I get the point, except... | 0:46:13 | 0:46:15 | |
Please, Mr Puffer, please. | 0:46:15 | 0:46:17 | |
-After you. -After you, sir, please. | 0:46:17 | 0:46:20 | |
If I can just say that Jerry is... | 0:46:20 | 0:46:22 | |
I checked with Miss Long. You do not have an appointment. | 0:46:22 | 0:46:27 | |
Company policy is that only authorised personnel | 0:46:27 | 0:46:30 | |
and those with official business with our organisation are permitted on our premises. | 0:46:30 | 0:46:37 | |
You want me to leave the building? | 0:46:37 | 0:46:39 | |
Well? Did you get it to him? | 0:47:02 | 0:47:04 | |
What? | 0:47:04 | 0:47:06 | |
Did you give my letter to him? | 0:47:06 | 0:47:08 | |
He's not in there. OK? | 0:47:08 | 0:47:10 | |
Now you're in with him, you can't do me a favour? | 0:47:10 | 0:47:14 | |
I'll find somebody else to do it. | 0:47:14 | 0:47:16 | |
-I couldn't. He wasn't there. -I saw him go in. | 0:47:16 | 0:47:19 | |
-Who? -Jerry. | 0:47:19 | 0:47:21 | |
He's up there right now. | 0:47:21 | 0:47:22 | |
It's impossible. They assured me he was out. | 0:47:22 | 0:47:26 | |
And you believe them? | 0:47:26 | 0:47:28 | |
You're so naive. I'd expect that from you. | 0:47:28 | 0:47:31 | |
You're such a chump. | 0:47:31 | 0:47:33 | |
-He went up there just now? -Of course. Get up. | 0:47:33 | 0:47:36 | |
Assert yourself. He's up there now. | 0:47:36 | 0:47:39 | |
Oh, really. | 0:47:50 | 0:47:52 | |
-Would you tell Jerry I'm here to see him? -He's not in. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:56 | |
-I know he is. Tell him I'm here. -He's not in. | 0:47:56 | 0:47:59 | |
You're putting your job on the line, lady. | 0:47:59 | 0:48:02 | |
Security, Pumpkin's back. | 0:48:02 | 0:48:04 | |
You too. | 0:48:04 | 0:48:06 | |
MISS LONG: Mr Pupkin, what are you doing here? | 0:48:26 | 0:48:30 | |
Mr Pupkin? | 0:48:30 | 0:48:32 | |
Mr Pupkin? | 0:48:32 | 0:48:34 | |
Get Security on the telephone. | 0:48:34 | 0:48:36 | |
MAN: There he goes. | 0:48:42 | 0:48:44 | |
Hold on! | 0:48:45 | 0:48:47 | |
Grab his other arm. | 0:48:47 | 0:48:49 | |
All right. | 0:48:49 | 0:48:51 | |
Right out the door. | 0:48:51 | 0:48:53 | |
Let's go. | 0:48:53 | 0:48:55 | |
-Jerry. Jerry! -Nobody will help you. | 0:48:56 | 0:48:59 | |
You'll have a lot of explaining to do, Mr Wirtz. | 0:48:59 | 0:49:03 | |
My lawyer will be calling you. | 0:49:03 | 0:49:05 | |
Make sure he gets my name right. | 0:49:05 | 0:49:07 | |
Say goodbye to our guest, Miss Long. | 0:49:08 | 0:49:10 | |
Wait till Jerry hears about this. | 0:49:10 | 0:49:13 | |
I will mention your name, Puffer. | 0:49:13 | 0:49:15 | |
Listen good. If we see your face again, we'll call the police. | 0:49:15 | 0:49:20 | |
I understand. | 0:49:20 | 0:49:22 | |
Thank you. | 0:49:22 | 0:49:24 | |
-Thank you very much. -Terrific(!) | 0:49:24 | 0:49:26 | |
-I suppose you got the letter to him. -No, I didn't. I will later. | 0:49:26 | 0:49:31 | |
-You got thrown out of the building. -I didn't. | 0:49:31 | 0:49:34 | |
-What do you call that? -I didn't get thrown out. | 0:49:34 | 0:49:38 | |
I was talking. | 0:49:38 | 0:49:40 | |
They walked me outside. | 0:49:40 | 0:49:42 | |
-Just a moment. -You can't handle the simplest thing. | 0:49:42 | 0:49:46 | |
I'll tell you something. | 0:49:46 | 0:49:48 | |
I'm going to Jerry's for the weekend. | 0:49:48 | 0:49:51 | |
-Do I look OK? -You look wonderful. | 0:49:53 | 0:49:56 | |
-Does it look all right? -I'm not sure. You look wonderful. | 0:49:56 | 0:50:00 | |
-What's wrong with it? -I don't think you need it. | 0:50:00 | 0:50:04 | |
-You don't think it looks nice? -It looks wonderful. | 0:50:04 | 0:50:07 | |
-Hello. -Hello. You must be Jonno. -Yes. | 0:50:24 | 0:50:27 | |
I'm Rupert Pupkin and this is Rita Keane. | 0:50:27 | 0:50:30 | |
-Tell Jerry we're here. -Mr Langford invited you? | 0:50:30 | 0:50:34 | |
No. We thought we'd drop in uninvited(!) | 0:50:34 | 0:50:37 | |
Come on in. | 0:50:37 | 0:50:39 | |
-Ooh, what a view. -The blue bag is mine. | 0:50:39 | 0:50:42 | |
-He's not here. -Is he out playing golf? | 0:50:42 | 0:50:44 | |
-Yes. -Yes, of course. | 0:50:44 | 0:50:46 | |
-I hope he finally breaks 100. -100? | 0:50:46 | 0:50:49 | |
-Perhaps better you come back. -That's all right. | 0:50:49 | 0:50:53 | |
-We'll wait a minute. -Mr Langford's not here. | 0:50:53 | 0:50:56 | |
That's OK. We'll just wait. | 0:50:56 | 0:50:58 | |
We don't mind waiting. ..Isn't this lovely? | 0:50:58 | 0:51:01 | |
The table's only set for one. | 0:51:05 | 0:51:07 | |
-How do you like it? -I could live here. | 0:51:13 | 0:51:16 | |
Mr Langford. I'm sorry to disturb you. | 0:51:16 | 0:51:19 | |
What's wrong? Everything. | 0:51:19 | 0:51:21 | |
There's a couple over here. | 0:51:21 | 0:51:23 | |
His name is er... | 0:51:23 | 0:51:25 | |
Pumgin. Do you know the name Pumgin? | 0:51:25 | 0:51:28 | |
Didn't you tell him what time we'd get here? | 0:51:30 | 0:51:33 | |
We didn't have time for the details. | 0:51:33 | 0:51:36 | |
That butler wasn't even expecting us. | 0:51:36 | 0:51:39 | |
Jerry has more important things to do than talking to his houseboy. | 0:51:39 | 0:51:43 | |
Oh, really? Excuse me. | 0:51:43 | 0:51:45 | |
He knows everything. He knows you're playing golf. | 0:51:51 | 0:51:54 | |
He wants to spend the weekend here. | 0:51:54 | 0:51:57 | |
Yes. You'd better come back. | 0:51:57 | 0:51:59 | |
He's touching everything. He's ruining the house. | 0:51:59 | 0:52:02 | |
I'm getting a heart attack. | 0:52:02 | 0:52:04 | |
Here's a famous one. The youngest clown in the world, Zippo. | 0:52:04 | 0:52:09 | |
This one with Ray Charles on Jerry's Special. | 0:52:09 | 0:52:12 | |
-That's famous. -I know. | 0:52:12 | 0:52:14 | |
Here's a famous one when he was a 12-year-old kid. | 0:52:14 | 0:52:18 | |
Someone sent this in for the "I Knew You When" section. | 0:52:18 | 0:52:22 | |
They thought they were playing a joke. | 0:52:22 | 0:52:25 | |
# If I should take a notion | 0:52:28 | 0:52:32 | |
Let's get a little life in this funeral parlour. | 0:52:32 | 0:52:35 | |
# Jump off into the ocean | 0:52:35 | 0:52:37 | |
You should really turn that off. That's not polite. | 0:52:37 | 0:52:41 | |
How about a spin, handsome? | 0:52:41 | 0:52:43 | |
We shouldn't be dancing. | 0:52:43 | 0:52:45 | |
A little fun never hurt anybody. | 0:52:45 | 0:52:48 | |
-What if Jerry walks in? -He'll be happy to see us. | 0:52:48 | 0:52:51 | |
You're his friend. He won't mind. | 0:52:51 | 0:52:54 | |
I wonder what the rest is like. | 0:53:03 | 0:53:05 | |
I'm sure it's very nice. | 0:53:05 | 0:53:07 | |
No, Rita, I wouldn't go up there. | 0:53:09 | 0:53:11 | |
Rita, Rita. I don't think it's a good idea. | 0:53:11 | 0:53:14 | |
Rita. | 0:53:14 | 0:53:17 | |
They're watching us. You can't go upstairs. | 0:53:17 | 0:53:20 | |
DOORBELL CHIMES | 0:53:20 | 0:53:22 | |
Open the goddamned door! | 0:53:31 | 0:53:33 | |
I was standing out there eight minutes. | 0:53:33 | 0:53:36 | |
Jesus. | 0:53:36 | 0:53:37 | |
Where are they? | 0:53:37 | 0:53:39 | |
Hi, Jerry. | 0:53:39 | 0:53:41 | |
Hi, Jerry. How are you? | 0:53:41 | 0:53:43 | |
We were just freshening up. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:45 | |
Rita, I want you to meet | 0:53:45 | 0:53:48 | |
THE Jerry Langford. | 0:53:48 | 0:53:50 | |
Jerry, meet Rita Keane. ..Come on down. | 0:53:50 | 0:53:53 | |
Come on down. | 0:53:53 | 0:53:56 | |
What's your pleasure, Jerry? | 0:53:56 | 0:53:58 | |
It's hot out. I need a drink. Jerry, what'd you like? | 0:54:00 | 0:54:04 | |
Jerry? | 0:54:04 | 0:54:06 | |
Jerry? | 0:54:08 | 0:54:10 | |
Excuse us for taking liberties, | 0:54:10 | 0:54:13 | |
but it's not every day a girl like Rita meets you. | 0:54:13 | 0:54:16 | |
This is success. You have to live with it. How was your golf? | 0:54:16 | 0:54:20 | |
Did you finally break 100? | 0:54:20 | 0:54:23 | |
JONNO: I told them you were not here. | 0:54:23 | 0:54:25 | |
Yes, they did. They were very helpful. | 0:54:25 | 0:54:28 | |
We took an earlier train. | 0:54:28 | 0:54:30 | |
Anyway, I brought the work. | 0:54:30 | 0:54:32 | |
It's right here. All ready. | 0:54:32 | 0:54:34 | |
All ready and set to go. | 0:54:34 | 0:54:36 | |
So... | 0:54:36 | 0:54:38 | |
where is everybody? | 0:54:38 | 0:54:40 | |
What everybody? | 0:54:41 | 0:54:43 | |
"What everybody?" The guests, Jer. | 0:54:43 | 0:54:46 | |
I'm getting a little hungry. | 0:54:46 | 0:54:48 | |
I could have the both of you arrested. | 0:54:48 | 0:54:51 | |
He could have us arrested. | 0:54:51 | 0:54:53 | |
Of course you could have us arrested. | 0:54:53 | 0:54:56 | |
We couldn't prove we belong here. | 0:54:56 | 0:54:59 | |
When he gets an idea, he's terrific. | 0:54:59 | 0:55:01 | |
-I never thought of that. -You should have. | 0:55:01 | 0:55:05 | |
We set up a story where you invite your friends and throw them in jail! | 0:55:05 | 0:55:10 | |
That's terrific. | 0:55:12 | 0:55:14 | |
That's terrific. | 0:55:14 | 0:55:16 | |
What's the matter? Lighten up. | 0:55:16 | 0:55:19 | |
Let's work on that after this. | 0:55:19 | 0:55:21 | |
-How did you get here? -We walked in the door. | 0:55:21 | 0:55:24 | |
What's the matter with you? | 0:55:24 | 0:55:26 | |
-How did you get here? -I think you're upset. | 0:55:26 | 0:55:29 | |
I'll leave my material here. | 0:55:29 | 0:55:32 | |
You've got other things to worry about. | 0:55:32 | 0:55:35 | |
We'll take a stroll till lunch time. | 0:55:35 | 0:55:37 | |
Did anyone ever tell you you're a moron? | 0:55:37 | 0:55:40 | |
Jerry, I want to tell you something. | 0:55:40 | 0:55:43 | |
Ordinarily, I wouldn't allow anyone to say that about Rita. | 0:55:43 | 0:55:47 | |
But since it's you, I know you're kidding. | 0:55:47 | 0:55:50 | |
Rupert, he's saying he wants us to go. | 0:55:50 | 0:55:53 | |
No, he's not saying that. | 0:55:53 | 0:55:55 | |
Jerry, tell her you're not saying that at all. | 0:55:55 | 0:55:59 | |
-Call the station, Jonno. -Where are you going, Rita? | 0:55:59 | 0:56:02 | |
There'll be a cab. Wait at the gate and use it. | 0:56:02 | 0:56:06 | |
Why, are you going someplace? | 0:56:06 | 0:56:08 | |
You are. | 0:56:08 | 0:56:10 | |
Did I say something wrong, Jerry? | 0:56:11 | 0:56:14 | |
If so, can we chalk it up to inexperience? | 0:56:14 | 0:56:17 | |
Rita? | 0:56:17 | 0:56:19 | |
I have my stuff here. We can do it in half an hour. | 0:56:19 | 0:56:23 | |
Then the afternoon is yours. | 0:56:23 | 0:56:25 | |
I want you out of here. | 0:56:25 | 0:56:27 | |
I want you out of here now. | 0:56:27 | 0:56:29 | |
Is that plain enough? | 0:56:29 | 0:56:30 | |
-I understand. -Is that clear? | 0:56:30 | 0:56:33 | |
I understand. You're tired. That's OK. | 0:56:33 | 0:56:36 | |
Read it at your leisure and let me know what you think. | 0:56:36 | 0:56:39 | |
Don't be dopey. Use your ears. | 0:56:39 | 0:56:42 | |
-He wants us to go. -He is not telling us to go! | 0:56:42 | 0:56:45 | |
-Mr Langford, I want you to know... -Tell her she's wrong. | 0:56:45 | 0:56:49 | |
..I don't even know this guy. | 0:56:49 | 0:56:51 | |
He told me you were friends. | 0:56:51 | 0:56:53 | |
-Rita! -I feel terrible about this. | 0:56:53 | 0:56:56 | |
-I feel so humiliated. -Don't listen. She works in a bar. | 0:56:56 | 0:57:00 | |
-She wants to spoil everything. -Let's go. | 0:57:00 | 0:57:03 | |
Jerry... | 0:57:03 | 0:57:04 | |
OK. Come on. | 0:57:04 | 0:57:06 | |
Come on. Let's go. | 0:57:06 | 0:57:08 | |
-Sorry, Mr Langford. -Here you are. | 0:57:08 | 0:57:10 | |
Do you understand English? Go! | 0:57:10 | 0:57:12 | |
I can take a hint. Listen for 15 minutes. Is that asking too much? | 0:57:12 | 0:57:17 | |
Yes, it is. I have a life, OK? | 0:57:17 | 0:57:19 | |
-I have a life, too. -That's not my responsibility! | 0:57:19 | 0:57:23 | |
-It is if you tell me to call you... -I was just getting rid of you! | 0:57:23 | 0:57:27 | |
-To get rid of me? -Yes. -I can take a hint. | 0:57:27 | 0:57:30 | |
Otherwise we'd still be outside my apartment! | 0:57:30 | 0:57:34 | |
-OK, so I made a mistake. -So did Hitler! | 0:57:34 | 0:57:37 | |
This is the way it is when you're famous. | 0:57:38 | 0:57:40 | |
Do you understand? | 0:57:40 | 0:57:42 | |
-That's how you guys are? -Not them. Me, yeah! | 0:57:42 | 0:57:45 | |
-That's how you are at the top? -No, I was that way before. | 0:57:45 | 0:57:49 | |
-Now I know how people like you... -Goodbye and good luck! | 0:57:49 | 0:57:53 | |
And Jerry, Jerry, | 0:57:53 | 0:57:55 | |
I just want to say one more thing. | 0:57:55 | 0:57:58 | |
I'm glad what you did to me today. | 0:57:58 | 0:58:00 | |
Now I know I can't rely on anybody. | 0:58:00 | 0:58:03 | |
Not you. Not anybody. | 0:58:03 | 0:58:05 | |
-And I SHOULDN'T rely on anybody. -Right. | 0:58:05 | 0:58:08 | |
I'm gonna work 50 times harder and I'm gonna be 50 times more famous than you. | 0:58:08 | 0:58:13 | |
Then idiots like you will plague your life. | 0:58:13 | 0:58:16 | |
That's right. ..Come on, Rita. ..Goodbye Jerry. | 0:58:16 | 0:58:20 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:58:20 | 0:58:22 | |
Jonno, lock that door. | 0:58:22 | 0:58:24 | |
You did good, Mr Langford. | 0:58:24 | 0:58:26 | |
Thank you. | 0:58:26 | 0:58:28 | |
HE THROWS CLUB ON THE FLOOR | 0:58:30 | 0:58:32 | |
It looks real. | 0:58:37 | 0:58:39 | |
That's the whole point. | 0:58:40 | 0:58:43 | |
-Is that him? -No. | 0:58:46 | 0:58:48 | |
-Are you sure? -Sure I'm sure. | 0:58:48 | 0:58:51 | |
It looks too much like him. | 0:58:51 | 0:58:53 | |
When it's him, it doesn't look like him. | 0:58:53 | 0:58:56 | |
It feels like it's taking him for ever. | 0:58:58 | 0:59:01 | |
How much longer? | 0:59:03 | 0:59:05 | |
It's him. | 0:59:08 | 0:59:10 | |
Yeah, that's him. | 0:59:13 | 0:59:15 | |
-Not too fast. -OK, OK. | 0:59:18 | 0:59:21 | |
Stay on this side, so you're not all over him. | 0:59:21 | 0:59:24 | |
Get in the next lane. | 0:59:24 | 0:59:27 | |
OK, OK, OK, OK! | 0:59:27 | 0:59:30 | |
He walks in the most crowded areas. | 0:59:36 | 0:59:38 | |
Well, because he doesn't want to be alone. | 0:59:38 | 0:59:41 | |
Why? Tell me why. | 0:59:41 | 0:59:44 | |
I know. You tell me why. | 0:59:44 | 0:59:46 | |
Don't get an attitude with me right now. | 0:59:47 | 0:59:50 | |
Explain to me. You know so much about him. | 0:59:50 | 0:59:53 | |
Fill me in. Let me learn from you. | 0:59:53 | 0:59:56 | |
OK. When he walks on crowded streets, he feels safe. That's why. | 0:59:56 | 1:00:00 | |
Is that what it is? Thanks for telling me(!) | 1:00:00 | 1:00:03 | |
OK. Go past him and stop. | 1:00:12 | 1:00:14 | |
OK, Jerry. Get in there. | 1:00:18 | 1:00:20 | |
What are you doing? | 1:00:20 | 1:00:22 | |
Are you crazy? | 1:00:22 | 1:00:24 | |
Get in, Jerry. Get in. | 1:00:24 | 1:00:25 | |
Hi, Jerry. | 1:00:26 | 1:00:28 | |
She's holding the gun on your head. | 1:00:31 | 1:00:34 | |
Don't make any false moves. | 1:00:34 | 1:00:36 | |
I'd hate to do anything drastic. | 1:00:36 | 1:00:38 | |
If everything works out, you'll be out of here by 12:00, 12:30 latest. | 1:00:38 | 1:00:43 | |
Well, maybe 1:00. | 1:00:43 | 1:00:45 | |
1:15, the very latest. | 1:00:45 | 1:00:47 | |
-What I want you to do is call your producer. -Call what? | 1:00:47 | 1:00:51 | |
Call Bert Thomas. I'll give you a phone right now. | 1:00:51 | 1:00:55 | |
Get him on the phone. | 1:00:55 | 1:00:57 | |
And I'll tell you exactly what to say. OK? | 1:00:57 | 1:01:00 | |
Now, if you don't do it, I don't know what to say. | 1:01:03 | 1:01:06 | |
There could be a problem. | 1:01:06 | 1:01:08 | |
Watch your eyes. I'll take these off. | 1:01:10 | 1:01:12 | |
It's a little bright in here. | 1:01:12 | 1:01:15 | |
OK. | 1:01:30 | 1:01:32 | |
Are these yours? | 1:01:36 | 1:01:38 | |
-Jerry, these are yours? -Yeah. | 1:01:39 | 1:01:41 | |
Do you mind if I have one? | 1:01:41 | 1:01:43 | |
(I don't mind.) | 1:01:43 | 1:01:45 | |
-Thank you. ..Masha, do you want one? -Save it. | 1:01:45 | 1:01:48 | |
-Do you want one? -Yeah, but will you save it? | 1:01:48 | 1:01:52 | |
It's inconvenient at the moment. Thank you, Rupert. | 1:01:52 | 1:01:55 | |
-Do you want one? -No. | 1:01:55 | 1:01:57 | |
I'll just take one for later. | 1:01:57 | 1:01:59 | |
Don't get mad about it. I'm just trying to ease the tension. | 1:02:03 | 1:02:08 | |
It's a strange situation, but there are moments of friendship and sharing. | 1:02:08 | 1:02:13 | |
OK, let's go. | 1:02:13 | 1:02:15 | |
Jerry, I mean business. | 1:02:18 | 1:02:21 | |
Get on the phone. Let's go. | 1:02:21 | 1:02:23 | |
The fun is over. | 1:02:23 | 1:02:24 | |
Let's go. Come on. | 1:02:28 | 1:02:30 | |
Bert Thomas, please. | 1:02:44 | 1:02:46 | |
Jerry Langford. | 1:02:46 | 1:02:48 | |
-What happened? -They hung up. | 1:02:52 | 1:02:54 | |
Call them again. Why did they hang up? | 1:02:58 | 1:03:00 | |
They thought it was a gag. | 1:03:00 | 1:03:02 | |
-We get that all the time. -I find that strange. | 1:03:02 | 1:03:06 | |
But it's typical. | 1:03:06 | 1:03:08 | |
That's the way they treat even you. | 1:03:08 | 1:03:10 | |
I'll let you in on a little secret. | 1:03:10 | 1:03:13 | |
That's the way they treated me. | 1:03:13 | 1:03:15 | |
And now look where we are. | 1:03:16 | 1:03:18 | |
Bert Thomas. | 1:03:21 | 1:03:23 | |
Audrey, this is Jerry Langford. Get Bert quickly. | 1:03:23 | 1:03:26 | |
Martino, I'm too busy for games. Goodbye. | 1:03:26 | 1:03:29 | |
Did you hear what I said? Get Bert Thomas. | 1:03:29 | 1:03:32 | |
It's not a gag. It's serious. Move it! | 1:03:32 | 1:03:35 | |
Why don't we have somebody else? Like what? | 1:03:38 | 1:03:41 | |
It's Mr Langford. He says it's urgent. | 1:03:41 | 1:03:44 | |
I'll call him back. I'm busy. | 1:03:44 | 1:03:46 | |
It's that Martino kid, the impressionist. | 1:03:46 | 1:03:49 | |
Will you do what I tell you? And do it quick. | 1:03:49 | 1:03:53 | |
I'm sorry. He absolutely insists on talking to you. | 1:03:53 | 1:03:56 | |
OK. I'll take it. | 1:03:56 | 1:03:59 | |
Martino, you know better than... | 1:04:01 | 1:04:03 | |
Bert, I said this is Jerry. | 1:04:03 | 1:04:05 | |
Jerry Langford. I'm in deep trouble. | 1:04:05 | 1:04:08 | |
Now, you'd best pay attention. | 1:04:08 | 1:04:10 | |
Yah, I am listening. | 1:04:10 | 1:04:13 | |
Would you give me that again? | 1:04:15 | 1:04:17 | |
Wait a minute. | 1:04:21 | 1:04:23 | |
I wanna ask you something. | 1:04:23 | 1:04:25 | |
What do we call our second cameraman? | 1:04:25 | 1:04:28 | |
We call our second cameraman | 1:04:28 | 1:04:30 | |
Helen Keller. | 1:04:30 | 1:04:32 | |
His favourite colour is plaid. | 1:04:33 | 1:04:36 | |
Helen Keller. Plaid. What is that? | 1:04:36 | 1:04:38 | |
When someone does an impression of me on the phone, | 1:04:38 | 1:04:42 | |
they check it's me by that clue. | 1:04:42 | 1:04:45 | |
If I didn't know, he'd know it's not me. | 1:04:45 | 1:04:48 | |
Say no more. I understand. | 1:04:48 | 1:04:50 | |
Now, listen, Bert. Listen carefully. | 1:04:51 | 1:04:53 | |
"I have a gun... | 1:04:54 | 1:04:56 | |
"at my head. | 1:04:59 | 1:05:01 | |
"If a man who identifies himself | 1:05:03 | 1:05:05 | |
"as... | 1:05:05 | 1:05:06 | |
"..The King... | 1:05:11 | 1:05:13 | |
The card's upside down. | 1:05:16 | 1:05:19 | |
"..is not allowed to be the first guest on... | 1:05:23 | 1:05:27 | |
You got a blank card there. | 1:05:32 | 1:05:34 | |
Hold on, Bert. | 1:05:34 | 1:05:36 | |
I'm reading from a cue card. | 1:05:36 | 1:05:39 | |
"..tonight's show... | 1:05:44 | 1:05:46 | |
"..you'll never...see me... | 1:05:48 | 1:05:51 | |
Go back. | 1:05:53 | 1:05:55 | |
"..alive... | 1:05:55 | 1:05:57 | |
"again." | 1:05:57 | 1:05:59 | |
It's not grammatically correct, but I think you have the idea. | 1:06:00 | 1:06:04 | |
It's clear, but let me talk to you. Don't do anything silly. | 1:06:04 | 1:06:09 | |
OK. | 1:06:09 | 1:06:11 | |
I'm OK. I'm OK, Bert! Just get it done. | 1:06:11 | 1:06:14 | |
He wants you to call at five o'clock. | 1:06:18 | 1:06:20 | |
They'll do whatever you want. | 1:06:20 | 1:06:22 | |
OK. That was very good, Jerry. | 1:06:22 | 1:06:25 | |
Turn around here. Let's see how it looks. | 1:06:25 | 1:06:28 | |
Oh, I love it. I'm sorry. The sleeves aren't quite right. | 1:06:28 | 1:06:32 | |
Do you like it? ..What do you think? | 1:06:32 | 1:06:35 | |
I think it looks pretty good. | 1:06:36 | 1:06:38 | |
To guess on it, to have it turn out like this, I'm pleased. | 1:06:38 | 1:06:42 | |
I like to see him a little more casual for a change. | 1:06:42 | 1:06:46 | |
This is a look I like to see on him. | 1:06:46 | 1:06:48 | |
Less uptightness. | 1:06:48 | 1:06:50 | |
OK. It's wonderful. | 1:06:50 | 1:06:52 | |
-What do you think? -It's very good. | 1:06:52 | 1:06:55 | |
-Be honest with me. -I'm being honest. | 1:06:55 | 1:06:57 | |
Would you wear it? I like it. | 1:06:57 | 1:06:59 | |
I'm glad I went with red. It looks good on him. | 1:06:59 | 1:07:03 | |
It looks good, Jerry. | 1:07:03 | 1:07:05 | |
-Come on. -What? | 1:07:05 | 1:07:07 | |
-Take it off and let's go. -Oh, OK. Fine. | 1:07:07 | 1:07:10 | |
-You want me to take it off? -Yeah. | 1:07:11 | 1:07:13 | |
Why can't he wear it for a while? | 1:07:13 | 1:07:15 | |
Will you take it off, please? | 1:07:15 | 1:07:17 | |
This is an emergency and I gotta talk to him. | 1:07:17 | 1:07:21 | |
Interrupt him or I'll come busting into that meeting. | 1:07:21 | 1:07:26 | |
No. Forget calling me back. I'm on my way. | 1:07:26 | 1:07:30 | |
Why didn't you just listen to the tape? | 1:07:30 | 1:07:33 | |
It wasn't that hard, was it? | 1:07:33 | 1:07:35 | |
A few minutes to listen to something I worked on my whole life. | 1:07:35 | 1:07:40 | |
If that's what's behind this, let's play the tape in my office. | 1:07:40 | 1:07:44 | |
I know what would happen. I'm not stupid. | 1:07:44 | 1:07:47 | |
Nobody's calling you stupid. | 1:07:47 | 1:07:49 | |
You pulled this off. So you're smart. | 1:07:49 | 1:07:52 | |
You know, I'm gonna tell you something. | 1:07:52 | 1:07:55 | |
Friendship is a two-way street. | 1:07:55 | 1:07:57 | |
Do you know that? | 1:07:58 | 1:08:00 | |
You couldn't care less about me. | 1:08:00 | 1:08:03 | |
Do I have to hold this thing till next Shevuoth? | 1:08:03 | 1:08:06 | |
Are you going to knock off the talking? | 1:08:06 | 1:08:09 | |
When you put the sweater on him, did I bother you? | 1:08:09 | 1:08:13 | |
You have a long night ahead. You have to perform. | 1:08:13 | 1:08:16 | |
You're driving me nuts. | 1:08:16 | 1:08:19 | |
Can you be quiet for one goddamn minute and let me rest with this gun? | 1:08:19 | 1:08:24 | |
You're driving me crazy! | 1:08:24 | 1:08:25 | |
You have not shut up since we came here. | 1:08:25 | 1:08:28 | |
This is my house! My domain! | 1:08:28 | 1:08:30 | |
Jerry is my guest! You are my guest! | 1:08:30 | 1:08:33 | |
You're lucky to be here. | 1:08:33 | 1:08:35 | |
You can change and get your head together for the show. | 1:08:35 | 1:08:39 | |
Give me a little break! | 1:08:39 | 1:08:41 | |
-Shut up! -I did give you a break. | 1:08:41 | 1:08:43 | |
You talked about that sweater. | 1:08:43 | 1:08:45 | |
Worrying over how it looks. Did I say anything? | 1:08:45 | 1:08:49 | |
I didn't make it for you. | 1:08:49 | 1:08:51 | |
It looks fabulous on Jerry. | 1:08:51 | 1:08:53 | |
Whose idea was this? If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be here. | 1:08:53 | 1:08:57 | |
Why not listen to the tape? Was that so hard to do? | 1:08:57 | 1:09:00 | |
I'm sure you understand, doing the kind of show I do, it's mind-boggling. | 1:09:00 | 1:09:06 | |
There's so much stuff, you can't keep your head clear. | 1:09:06 | 1:09:10 | |
If that's the case, I'm wrong. | 1:09:10 | 1:09:12 | |
You're right, I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I apologise. | 1:09:12 | 1:09:16 | |
I'm just a human being. | 1:09:16 | 1:09:18 | |
With all of the foibles and all of the traps. | 1:09:18 | 1:09:21 | |
The pressure. The groupies, the autograph hounds. | 1:09:21 | 1:09:25 | |
Those you think are your friends, but might not be there tomorrow because of their incompetence. | 1:09:25 | 1:09:32 | |
These wonderful pressures make every day radiant and glowing. | 1:09:32 | 1:09:37 | |
It's terrific(!) | 1:09:37 | 1:09:39 | |
If all of that means nothing, if I'm wrong, in spite of all that, then I apologise. I'm sorry. | 1:09:39 | 1:09:46 | |
If you accept my apology, | 1:09:46 | 1:09:48 | |
I think we should shake hands and forget the whole thing. | 1:09:48 | 1:09:53 | |
You two could be in deep trouble, but I will not press charges. | 1:09:53 | 1:09:57 | |
-That's easy for you to SAY, Jerry. -But I mean it. | 1:09:59 | 1:10:03 | |
I'll go to the office and tell them all it's a gag. | 1:10:03 | 1:10:06 | |
They'll understand that. They'll buy it. | 1:10:06 | 1:10:10 | |
Then we listen to the tape... | 1:10:10 | 1:10:12 | |
Sit down! I said sit down! | 1:10:12 | 1:10:14 | |
You heard what he said. | 1:10:14 | 1:10:17 | |
With a gun on him, he wants to be friends. | 1:10:17 | 1:10:20 | |
-What happens when he walks out? -What happens then? | 1:10:20 | 1:10:23 | |
They'll jump you at his office. | 1:10:23 | 1:10:25 | |
-Is that what happens, Jerry? -Not if I tell them not to. | 1:10:25 | 1:10:29 | |
They won't jump you. If I tell them to do something, they do it. | 1:10:29 | 1:10:34 | |
No-one's gonna jump you. It's the truth. | 1:10:34 | 1:10:37 | |
You have to take my word for it. | 1:10:37 | 1:10:39 | |
If you think I'm not telling you the truth, then don't respond. | 1:10:39 | 1:10:43 | |
If you think I am, let me get the hell out. | 1:10:43 | 1:10:46 | |
He gives me his word. | 1:10:46 | 1:10:48 | |
-And what else? -And what else, Jerry? | 1:10:48 | 1:10:51 | |
There is nothing else. | 1:10:52 | 1:10:54 | |
Just my word. | 1:10:54 | 1:10:56 | |
Isn't my word good enough? | 1:10:56 | 1:10:58 | |
I'm sorry, Jerry. | 1:11:01 | 1:11:03 | |
Suppose we tape him, | 1:11:17 | 1:11:19 | |
he does a talk, | 1:11:20 | 1:11:22 | |
it gets to be 11:30, | 1:11:22 | 1:11:24 | |
do we put him on, no matter what? | 1:11:24 | 1:11:26 | |
Tape him. It won't hurt anything, because you can erase it. | 1:11:26 | 1:11:30 | |
We may learn something from it and it will buy us time. | 1:11:30 | 1:11:34 | |
Under no circumstances will we put him on air. | 1:11:34 | 1:11:38 | |
This lunatic is threatening Jerry's life! | 1:11:38 | 1:11:41 | |
Let me handle this. | 1:11:41 | 1:11:43 | |
We'll tape at seven. | 1:11:43 | 1:11:45 | |
We won't have to make a decision about putting him on the air till 11:30. | 1:11:45 | 1:11:50 | |
This gives us four hours to move in. | 1:11:50 | 1:11:52 | |
By that time we should have Mr Langford back safely. | 1:11:52 | 1:11:56 | |
Harry, that's it. We're going to sue. We'll sue everybody. | 1:11:56 | 1:12:00 | |
- Who's this? - Jerry's lawyer. | 1:12:00 | 1:12:03 | |
What do you mean, who am I? I'm the lawyer suing. | 1:12:03 | 1:12:06 | |
Jay. Don't "Jay" me. Do me a favour. > | 1:12:06 | 1:12:09 | |
Jay, WHO are you going to sue? | 1:12:09 | 1:12:11 | |
We're suing you personally! | 1:12:11 | 1:12:13 | |
< Who else? The FBI! | 1:12:13 | 1:12:15 | |
Let's deal with the situation rationally. | 1:12:15 | 1:12:18 | |
Unless we talk politely, there will be serious consequences. | 1:12:18 | 1:12:23 | |
JAY: Kidnapping is not polite. It is a very stupid offence. | 1:12:23 | 1:12:27 | |
How can you defend kidnapping? | 1:12:27 | 1:12:29 | |
How can you say, "I'm crazy. I didn't know what I was doing." | 1:12:29 | 1:12:33 | |
Jay, who cares? | 1:12:33 | 1:12:35 | |
Only an idiot kidnaps. > Who cares? | 1:12:35 | 1:12:38 | |
Only idiots do what you will do. | 1:12:38 | 1:12:40 | |
Jerry, I'm gonna go now. | 1:12:49 | 1:12:51 | |
Pretty soon you'll be able to go. | 1:12:51 | 1:12:53 | |
About 12:00, 12:30, as I said. Have a good time. | 1:12:53 | 1:12:57 | |
I know you will. | 1:12:57 | 1:12:59 | |
Bye. | 1:12:59 | 1:13:01 | |
We don't know if they are kidnappers or terrorists. | 1:13:05 | 1:13:09 | |
Terrorists?! What do you mean "terrorists"? | 1:13:09 | 1:13:12 | |
This man may go on the air. > | 1:13:12 | 1:13:14 | |
He delivers a coded message and 50 people lose their lives. | 1:13:14 | 1:13:18 | |
You're out of your mind! | 1:13:18 | 1:13:20 | |
- I'm not out of my mind. - That guy will be taped. | 1:13:20 | 1:13:24 | |
We'll listen to what he says. | 1:13:24 | 1:13:26 | |
Unless something horrendous is on it, we'll air it. | 1:13:26 | 1:13:30 | |
It's only ten minutes of talk-show time against a man's life. | 1:13:30 | 1:13:34 | |
I don't see that as any argument. | 1:13:34 | 1:13:37 | |
Hello, how are you today? | 1:13:38 | 1:13:40 | |
Well... Mr King calling collect long-distance for Mr Thomas. | 1:13:40 | 1:13:44 | |
There's a long-distance call. | 1:13:44 | 1:13:47 | |
Let's go. | 1:13:47 | 1:13:49 | |
This is it. Remember, keep him talking. > | 1:13:49 | 1:13:52 | |
Er...hi, there. Who is this? | 1:13:52 | 1:13:54 | |
'This is Mr King.' | 1:13:54 | 1:13:56 | |
-'I'm calling for Mr King.' -You're on time. | 1:13:56 | 1:13:59 | |
Yes, of course. We're always punctual. | 1:13:59 | 1:14:02 | |
I want to make it brief, Mr Thomas, and... | 1:14:02 | 1:14:05 | |
Could I break in and ask you, could I speak to Jerry? | 1:14:05 | 1:14:09 | |
Jerry's not with us now. We're at a payphone. | 1:14:09 | 1:14:13 | |
Don't trace the call. I heard those sounds. | 1:14:13 | 1:14:16 | |
It's kind of important, so that we know that he's in - what'll I say? - your care. | 1:14:16 | 1:14:21 | |
We've taken care of that by bringing an article of clothing you'll recognise. | 1:14:21 | 1:14:27 | |
It is not as easy as you think to walk in and go right on the show. | 1:14:27 | 1:14:31 | |
No, Bert... If I can call you... | 1:14:31 | 1:14:34 | |
If I could just say, there is no problem. | 1:14:34 | 1:14:37 | |
It is clean material. | 1:14:37 | 1:14:38 | |
Do you know of something called Standards and Practices? | 1:14:38 | 1:14:42 | |
All I can say is, don't have any press leaks. | 1:14:42 | 1:14:46 | |
You must keep the audience there till 11:45 or 12 o'clock, after it has been aired. | 1:14:46 | 1:14:52 | |
Thank you very much. That's your problem. Nice talking to you. | 1:14:52 | 1:14:56 | |
One... | 1:14:56 | 1:14:58 | |
Boy, he's shrewd. He just wouldn't buy anything. | 1:14:59 | 1:15:03 | |
I feel... | 1:15:58 | 1:16:00 | |
completely impulsive tonight. | 1:16:00 | 1:16:02 | |
Anything could happen. | 1:16:02 | 1:16:04 | |
I've so much to tell you. | 1:16:04 | 1:16:06 | |
I don't know where to start. | 1:16:06 | 1:16:08 | |
I want to tell you everything about myself you don't know. | 1:16:08 | 1:16:13 | |
-Do you like these glasses? -SHE FLICKS CRYSTAL | 1:16:14 | 1:16:17 | |
Crystal, beautiful. I bought them just for you. | 1:16:17 | 1:16:21 | |
Something reminded me. The simplicity. | 1:16:21 | 1:16:23 | |
But if you don't like them, if there's any doubt... | 1:16:23 | 1:16:27 | |
GLASS SMASHES | 1:16:27 | 1:16:29 | |
Sometimes I'll be doing the simplest things. | 1:16:32 | 1:16:36 | |
I'll be taking a bath and I'll say to myself, | 1:16:36 | 1:16:39 | |
"I wonder if Jerry's taking a bath right now." | 1:16:39 | 1:16:42 | |
Then I just hope you're not drowning. | 1:16:42 | 1:16:45 | |
I get worried about you, like something terrible will happen. | 1:16:45 | 1:16:50 | |
I have daydreams that I'm at the golf course driving your cart. | 1:16:50 | 1:16:55 | |
Just driving around. | 1:16:55 | 1:16:57 | |
Need a putter, Jer? You know. | 1:16:58 | 1:17:00 | |
Need an iron? | 1:17:01 | 1:17:03 | |
I don't know how to play golf. | 1:17:03 | 1:17:05 | |
I played with my parents once, my dad, but... | 1:17:05 | 1:17:08 | |
I love you. | 1:17:08 | 1:17:10 | |
I've never told my parents that I love them. | 1:17:14 | 1:17:17 | |
They never told me they loved me either, which was fine with me. | 1:17:17 | 1:17:22 | |
But I love you. | 1:17:22 | 1:17:24 | |
Do you want some wine? | 1:17:24 | 1:17:26 | |
No? OK. I'm not in the mood to drink either, though. | 1:17:26 | 1:17:30 | |
But I'm sure in the mood to be alone with you. | 1:17:30 | 1:17:33 | |
Why don't we just clear off the table? | 1:17:36 | 1:17:39 | |
We could go upstairs, but that's so predictable. | 1:17:41 | 1:17:44 | |
Let's take everything off the table and do it right here. | 1:17:44 | 1:17:49 | |
It'd blow your mind. It'd blow MY mind. | 1:17:49 | 1:17:51 | |
I've never even had anybody over for dinner before, | 1:17:51 | 1:17:55 | |
let alone made love on the table. | 1:17:55 | 1:17:58 | |
Somehow I just want to do that. | 1:17:58 | 1:18:00 | |
I just want to, like, dance. | 1:18:00 | 1:18:02 | |
I want to put on some Shirelles. I want to be black. | 1:18:02 | 1:18:06 | |
Wouldn't that be insane? | 1:18:07 | 1:18:09 | |
God. You know, I wish I was... | 1:18:09 | 1:18:12 | |
I wish I was Tina Turner. Just dancing through the room. | 1:18:12 | 1:18:16 | |
Thank you. Please have your tickets ready. | 1:18:21 | 1:18:25 | |
Good evening, officer. | 1:18:28 | 1:18:30 | |
I am Clarence McCabe, the writer. | 1:18:30 | 1:18:33 | |
Are these people with you, sir? Yes, this is my wife. | 1:18:33 | 1:18:37 | |
Her parents are the Salters from Ohio. | 1:18:37 | 1:18:40 | |
I'll check your name, sir. I'm on third. | 1:18:40 | 1:18:43 | |
I'll check your name, sir. | 1:18:43 | 1:18:45 | |
I'm sorry. I don't see your name, sir. | 1:18:45 | 1:18:48 | |
Wait a minute. You went past the Ns. | 1:18:48 | 1:18:51 | |
I'll go back again for you, sir. | 1:18:51 | 1:18:53 | |
Let me just check. | 1:18:53 | 1:18:55 | |
This isn't possible. | 1:18:55 | 1:18:57 | |
Did Miss Long call you at all? No, sir, she didn't. | 1:18:57 | 1:19:01 | |
She didn't tell you about my book. | 1:19:01 | 1:19:03 | |
No, sir. Not according to this list. | 1:19:03 | 1:19:06 | |
She said to present myself at 5:45. It's now 5:50. | 1:19:06 | 1:19:10 | |
Strict orders tonight. | 1:19:10 | 1:19:11 | |
Only authorised personnel allowed in. | 1:19:11 | 1:19:14 | |
You never heard of the book? No, sir. | 1:19:14 | 1:19:17 | |
The Vanishing Siberian Tiger. | 1:19:17 | 1:19:19 | |
Can I call Miss Long? No, sir. Not at all. | 1:19:19 | 1:19:22 | |
Can YOU call Miss Long? | 1:19:22 | 1:19:24 | |
I can't help you, sir. You are not on the list. | 1:19:24 | 1:19:27 | |
So I cannot let you in. | 1:19:27 | 1:19:29 | |
I'm gonna try to get her. Stop him. | 1:19:29 | 1:19:32 | |
Miss Long? | 1:19:32 | 1:19:34 | |
Come on. Get him. | 1:19:34 | 1:19:37 | |
COMMOTION | 1:19:37 | 1:19:39 | |
Come on! | 1:19:41 | 1:19:44 | |
McCABE: Miss Long! | 1:19:44 | 1:19:46 | |
What is this Clarence McCabe? That's who I am. | 1:20:00 | 1:20:03 | |
Is that your real name? Technically, it's my real name. | 1:20:03 | 1:20:07 | |
It's a pseudonym. An alias. Why do you use a pseudonym? | 1:20:07 | 1:20:11 | |
I'm an author. Author of what? | 1:20:11 | 1:20:14 | |
I wrote The Vanishing Siberian Tiger. | 1:20:14 | 1:20:16 | |
I spent two years in Russia and two years in China researching it. | 1:20:16 | 1:20:21 | |
Does that make me a communist now? | 1:20:21 | 1:20:24 | |
HE WHISTLES TO HIMSELF | 1:20:24 | 1:20:26 | |
Hello. I'm the King. | 1:20:35 | 1:20:37 | |
-What? -The King. | 1:20:37 | 1:20:39 | |
What can I do for Your Highness? | 1:20:39 | 1:20:42 | |
Really, I'm the King. | 1:20:42 | 1:20:44 | |
Yes, sir, your dressing room is backstage. | 1:20:44 | 1:20:47 | |
-Your throne is in there also. -Very funny, yes. | 1:20:47 | 1:20:50 | |
Is there someone in charge? | 1:20:50 | 1:20:52 | |
Mr Ding. A little fellow with a couple of bells. | 1:20:52 | 1:20:56 | |
Miss Long. | 1:20:56 | 1:20:58 | |
-Pipkin? -No, it's Mr Pupkin. | 1:20:58 | 1:21:00 | |
How are you? | 1:21:01 | 1:21:03 | |
What are you doing here, Mr...Pupkin? | 1:21:03 | 1:21:06 | |
I'm the King. | 1:21:06 | 1:21:08 | |
I think you're expecting me. | 1:21:08 | 1:21:10 | |
Yeah. | 1:21:10 | 1:21:12 | |
Is Mr Thomas around? | 1:21:12 | 1:21:14 | |
CATS MEOW SHRILLY | 1:21:22 | 1:21:24 | |
# You're gonna love me | 1:21:30 | 1:21:34 | |
# Like nobody's loved me | 1:21:35 | 1:21:39 | |
# Come rain | 1:21:39 | 1:21:41 | |
# Or come shine | 1:21:41 | 1:21:43 | |
# Happy together | 1:21:44 | 1:21:48 | |
# Unhappy together | 1:21:48 | 1:21:52 | |
# And won't it be fine? | 1:21:52 | 1:21:58 | |
# Days may be cloudy or sunny | 1:22:00 | 1:22:08 | |
# We're in and we're out of the money | 1:22:09 | 1:22:15 | |
# I'm with you always | 1:22:17 | 1:22:21 | |
# I'm with you | 1:22:24 | 1:22:27 | |
# Rain or shine # | 1:22:28 | 1:22:39 | |
Mr King, I'm Inspector Garrity from the FBI. | 1:22:42 | 1:22:45 | |
-Yes, sir. -What is your name? | 1:22:45 | 1:22:48 | |
-Rupert Pupkin. -What is your real name? | 1:22:48 | 1:22:50 | |
That's my real name. | 1:22:50 | 1:22:53 | |
Well, Mr Pupkin, will you tell us where Jerry is or not? | 1:22:53 | 1:22:56 | |
Are you from the show? | 1:22:56 | 1:22:59 | |
No, I'm not in the show. | 1:22:59 | 1:23:01 | |
This is Agent Giardello and Captain Burke. | 1:23:01 | 1:23:04 | |
I'd like to meet someone from the show. | 1:23:04 | 1:23:07 | |
You get to see them when I get to see Langford. | 1:23:07 | 1:23:10 | |
I'd like to see someone from the show first. | 1:23:10 | 1:23:13 | |
-Not unless you tell us where Langford is. -Then Jerry's dead. | 1:23:13 | 1:23:18 | |
Get Thomas. | 1:23:18 | 1:23:20 | |
-I'm Bert Thomas. Are you Mr King? -Yes. | 1:23:22 | 1:23:25 | |
-How do you do? -Did we talk on the phone today? | 1:23:25 | 1:23:28 | |
Yes, we spoke a few moments ago. | 1:23:28 | 1:23:31 | |
And Jerry spoke to you earlier. | 1:23:31 | 1:23:33 | |
Er, where did you get this? | 1:23:33 | 1:23:35 | |
That's Jerry's, as you can see. | 1:23:35 | 1:23:38 | |
-What's that? -That's my blood, not Jerry's. | 1:23:38 | 1:23:41 | |
I'll buy this. | 1:23:41 | 1:23:43 | |
What have we here? | 1:23:43 | 1:23:44 | |
It's my introduction. Can Mr Randall say it word for word? | 1:23:44 | 1:23:48 | |
-It's introducing your monologue? -Yes. | 1:23:48 | 1:23:51 | |
-Could I have a copy of your monologue? -I have it memorised. | 1:23:51 | 1:23:56 | |
-So I don't have a copy of it. -There are reasons I need a copy. | 1:23:56 | 1:24:00 | |
You can't say anything obscene or upset the audience. | 1:24:00 | 1:24:04 | |
No, it's all right, really. It's wholesome. | 1:24:04 | 1:24:07 | |
-You guarantee that? -I guarantee it. -OK. | 1:24:07 | 1:24:10 | |
Make sure they last till 11:30. > | 1:24:10 | 1:24:13 | |
-He'll get everything he needs. -It was nice meeting you. | 1:24:13 | 1:24:17 | |
Sit down, Pupkin. | 1:24:17 | 1:24:19 | |
Pupkin, I gotta tell you this. | 1:24:19 | 1:24:21 | |
From this point on, you have the right to remain silent. | 1:24:21 | 1:24:25 | |
-Do you understand? -Mm-hm. | 1:24:25 | 1:24:27 | |
Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. | 1:24:27 | 1:24:31 | |
-Say you understand. -I understand that. | 1:24:31 | 1:24:34 | |
Did you participate in the abduction of Jerry Langford? | 1:24:34 | 1:24:38 | |
Yes, I did. I abducted him. | 1:24:38 | 1:24:40 | |
-You abducted him? -Yes. | 1:24:40 | 1:24:42 | |
-Do you know where he is right now? -Yes, I do. | 1:24:42 | 1:24:46 | |
-Will you lead us to him. -No, I won't. | 1:24:46 | 1:24:48 | |
Well, at this time, Mr Pupkin, I advise you to consider yourself under arrest. | 1:24:48 | 1:24:54 | |
Fine. I think I should get made up. | 1:24:54 | 1:24:56 | |
He needs some make-up. Put some colour in his face. | 1:24:56 | 1:25:00 | |
I could put some colour on your face. | 1:25:00 | 1:25:03 | |
Really, I should get made up. | 1:25:03 | 1:25:05 | |
MAN READS: "Sad news for you." | 1:25:05 | 1:25:08 | |
Tony, did you want to see me? | 1:25:09 | 1:25:11 | |
Have you seen this stuff? I think it's fine. | 1:25:11 | 1:25:14 | |
"My writing staff was executed by the network firing squad." | 1:25:14 | 1:25:18 | |
You're laughing at that? It's good. | 1:25:18 | 1:25:21 | |
Why do I have to say this? Exactly as it's written. | 1:25:21 | 1:25:25 | |
It'll be good for you. Trust me. | 1:25:25 | 1:25:27 | |
You're the director. Can you help me? | 1:25:27 | 1:25:30 | |
Take those tissues out and let's go. | 1:25:30 | 1:25:32 | |
Be sure to turn the cards fast. | 1:25:32 | 1:25:35 | |
Are you listening to me? OK. | 1:25:35 | 1:25:37 | |
Let's do something crazy tonight. | 1:25:37 | 1:25:39 | |
Just get insane! I want to be nuts! | 1:25:39 | 1:25:42 | |
I want some fun! Godammit. | 1:25:42 | 1:25:44 | |
My doctor says, "Don't have fun! | 1:25:44 | 1:25:46 | |
"You're not allowed to have a good time!" | 1:25:46 | 1:25:50 | |
I like being in control. | 1:25:50 | 1:25:52 | |
But for one night I'd like to see myself out of my head! Wouldn't you? | 1:25:52 | 1:25:57 | |
Wouldn't it be fabulous? | 1:25:57 | 1:25:59 | |
I'm having a good time. | 1:26:00 | 1:26:02 | |
I'm having fun. | 1:26:06 | 1:26:08 | |
Fun is my middle name. | 1:26:09 | 1:26:11 | |
That's right. | 1:26:12 | 1:26:14 | |
Having some fun! I never had this much fun before. That's right. | 1:26:14 | 1:26:19 | |
Good, old-fashioned, | 1:26:20 | 1:26:22 | |
all-American fun! | 1:26:23 | 1:26:25 | |
MC: 'And now, direct from New York, | 1:26:25 | 1:26:27 | |
'it's the Jerry Langford Show. | 1:26:27 | 1:26:30 | |
'With guest host Tony Randall. | 1:26:30 | 1:26:32 | |
'And his special guests, | 1:26:32 | 1:26:34 | |
'Shelley Winters, Gore Vidal, Tony Bennett. | 1:26:34 | 1:26:38 | |
'As always, Lou Brown and the orchestra.' | 1:26:38 | 1:26:41 | |
And little old me, Ed Herlihy. | 1:26:41 | 1:26:43 | |
And now, say hello to... | 1:26:43 | 1:26:46 | |
Tony! | 1:26:46 | 1:26:48 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:26:48 | 1:26:50 | |
WHISTLING | 1:26:50 | 1:26:52 | |
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 1:27:02 | 1:27:04 | |
I have some sad news for you. AUDIENCE: Aww! | 1:27:04 | 1:27:08 | |
Earlier today my writing staff was executed by the network firing squad. | 1:27:08 | 1:27:13 | |
So there will be no Randall monologue this evening. | 1:27:13 | 1:27:17 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 1:27:17 | 1:27:19 | |
No embarrassing display of emotion. | 1:27:24 | 1:27:27 | |
We'll do something a little different. | 1:27:27 | 1:27:30 | |
(A lot different if you ask me.) | 1:27:30 | 1:27:32 | |
We'll give you a glimpse... (..Turn it over.) | 1:27:32 | 1:27:36 | |
..into the future. | 1:27:36 | 1:27:38 | |
It's not often you have a sure thing in the entertainment business. | 1:27:38 | 1:27:43 | |
The verdict is in YOUR hands. | 1:27:43 | 1:27:45 | |
But after you've met... | 1:27:45 | 1:27:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:27:47 | 1:27:49 | |
..my first guest, | 1:27:49 | 1:27:51 | |
you'll agree with me that he's destined for greatness! | 1:27:51 | 1:27:55 | |
In one way or another. | 1:27:55 | 1:27:57 | |
Please give your warmest greetings to the newest King of Comedy - | 1:27:57 | 1:28:02 | |
Rupert Pupkin. | 1:28:02 | 1:28:04 | |
CHEERING | 1:28:04 | 1:28:06 | |
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce myself. I am Rupert Pupkin. | 1:28:16 | 1:28:21 | |
I can't believe I'm gonna kiss you. | 1:28:25 | 1:28:27 | |
Masha. | 1:28:29 | 1:28:31 | |
Take the tape off. | 1:28:31 | 1:28:33 | |
Really? | 1:28:33 | 1:28:35 | |
Come on. Take it off. | 1:28:35 | 1:28:37 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:28:42 | 1:28:44 | |
OK. I'm ready now. | 1:28:44 | 1:28:46 | |
Take him back down. With pleasure. | 1:28:46 | 1:28:48 | |
Why did you do this? Tell me why, then maybe I can believe in you. Why do it? | 1:28:48 | 1:28:54 | |
-Do you know what time it is? -Yes. It's 10:55. | 1:28:54 | 1:28:57 | |
We'd better go. Because otherwise, I don't like saying this, Jerry will be unavailable. | 1:28:57 | 1:29:03 | |
You'll understand when we go. | 1:29:03 | 1:29:05 | |
Why will I understand? Where are we going? | 1:29:05 | 1:29:09 | |
-Part of the bargain is I see it somewhere else. -What? | 1:29:09 | 1:29:12 | |
That's my understanding. | 1:29:12 | 1:29:14 | |
I want to see it in this other place. | 1:29:14 | 1:29:17 | |
Once I see it, I'll give you Langford. | 1:29:17 | 1:29:20 | |
You don't understand my position. | 1:29:20 | 1:29:23 | |
I have you right now. So I have a shot at Langford. | 1:29:23 | 1:29:26 | |
-But you don't have Jerry. -I understand that. | 1:29:26 | 1:29:29 | |
I'll get it off as fast as I can. | 1:29:31 | 1:29:33 | |
That's good, Masha. | 1:29:33 | 1:29:35 | |
Yeah? | 1:29:35 | 1:29:37 | |
-Are you all right? -I'm fine. | 1:29:37 | 1:29:39 | |
There you are. | 1:29:39 | 1:29:41 | |
Come on. | 1:29:41 | 1:29:43 | |
One more thing, please. I can't walk in with you. | 1:29:49 | 1:29:52 | |
If you could wait here and let me walk in by myself. | 1:29:52 | 1:29:56 | |
I'll break your ankles if you make a wrong move. | 1:29:56 | 1:30:00 | |
No, I promise. OK? | 1:30:00 | 1:30:02 | |
-Make believe you don't know me, too. -Go ahead. | 1:30:02 | 1:30:05 | |
Jerry, you seem a little bit... | 1:30:30 | 1:30:33 | |
Jerry! | 1:30:44 | 1:30:46 | |
Jerry, wait! | 1:30:46 | 1:30:48 | |
Jerry! Jerry! | 1:30:48 | 1:30:50 | |
Jerry, come back here! | 1:30:50 | 1:30:52 | |
Jerry! | 1:30:54 | 1:30:56 | |
RITA: Oh, God. | 1:31:00 | 1:31:02 | |
What do you want now? | 1:31:03 | 1:31:05 | |
MAN: What are you doing? | 1:31:08 | 1:31:10 | |
-I'm watching that. It's almost over. -Just a minute. | 1:31:10 | 1:31:14 | |
MC: 'It's the Jerry Langford Show. | 1:31:14 | 1:31:17 | |
'With guest host Tony Randall. | 1:31:17 | 1:31:19 | |
'And his special guests...' | 1:31:19 | 1:31:21 | |
What's going on here? | 1:31:21 | 1:31:24 | |
Do you know him? | 1:31:24 | 1:31:26 | |
Unfortunately, yes. | 1:31:26 | 1:31:28 | |
Sit tight. Relax. Everything will be OK. | 1:31:28 | 1:31:31 | |
'..my first guest. | 1:31:31 | 1:31:33 | |
'..he's destined for greatness. | 1:31:33 | 1:31:36 | |
'In one way or another. | 1:31:36 | 1:31:38 | |
'Please give your warmest greetings to the newest King of Comedy - | 1:31:38 | 1:31:42 | |
'Rupert Pupkin.' | 1:31:42 | 1:31:45 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE ON TV | 1:31:45 | 1:31:47 | |
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce myself. I am Rupert Pupkin. | 1:31:56 | 1:32:02 | |
I was born in Clifton, New Jersey, | 1:32:02 | 1:32:04 | |
which was not at that time a federal offence. | 1:32:04 | 1:32:08 | |
Is there anyone here from Clifton? | 1:32:08 | 1:32:10 | |
-Oh, good. We can all relax now. -LAUGHTER | 1:32:10 | 1:32:13 | |
I'd like to begin by saying that my parents were too poor to afford me a childhood. | 1:32:13 | 1:32:19 | |
But the fact is that no-one is allowed to be too poor in Clifton, | 1:32:19 | 1:32:24 | |
because once you fall below a certain level, they exile you. | 1:32:24 | 1:32:28 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 1:32:28 | 1:32:30 | |
But my parents did put the first two down payments on my childhood. | 1:32:32 | 1:32:37 | |
But they did also return me to the hospital as defective. | 1:32:37 | 1:32:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:32:41 | 1:32:43 | |
But, like everyone else, I grew up in large part thanks to my mother. | 1:32:43 | 1:32:48 | |
If she were only here today, | 1:32:48 | 1:32:50 | |
I'd say, "Hey, Mom, what are you doing here? You're dead!" | 1:32:50 | 1:32:54 | |
LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING | 1:32:54 | 1:32:56 | |
But seriously, you should have seen my mom. | 1:32:56 | 1:32:59 | |
She was wonderful. Blonde, beautiful, intelligent... | 1:32:59 | 1:33:03 | |
alcoholic. | 1:33:03 | 1:33:05 | |
We used to drink milk together after school. | 1:33:05 | 1:33:08 | |
Mine was homogenised. Hers was loaded. | 1:33:08 | 1:33:11 | |
They picked her up for speeding. They clocked her doing 50. | 1:33:11 | 1:33:15 | |
In our garage! | 1:33:15 | 1:33:17 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:33:17 | 1:33:19 | |
When they tested her, they found her alcohol had 2% blood. | 1:33:23 | 1:33:27 | |
LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING | 1:33:27 | 1:33:29 | |
WHOOPING | 1:33:29 | 1:33:31 | |
Ah, but we used to joke together, Mom and me. | 1:33:33 | 1:33:36 | |
Until the tears would stroll down her face and she would throw up! | 1:33:36 | 1:33:40 | |
Yeah. And who would clean it up? | 1:33:40 | 1:33:43 | |
Not Dad. He was too busy at O'Grady's, throwing up on his own. | 1:33:43 | 1:33:47 | |
Yeah. In fact, until I was 16, I thought throwing up was a sign of maturity. | 1:33:47 | 1:33:53 | |
While the other kids were sneaking cigarettes, | 1:33:54 | 1:33:57 | |
I hid behind the house with my fingers down my throat. | 1:33:57 | 1:34:01 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:34:01 | 1:34:03 | |
The only problem was, | 1:34:05 | 1:34:07 | |
I never got anywhere. | 1:34:07 | 1:34:09 | |
Until one day my father caught me. | 1:34:09 | 1:34:11 | |
Just as he was giving me a final kick in the stomach for luck, | 1:34:11 | 1:34:16 | |
I managed to heave all over his new shoes. | 1:34:16 | 1:34:19 | |
"That's it," I thought. "I've made it! I'm finally a man!" | 1:34:19 | 1:34:23 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:34:23 | 1:34:25 | |
WHISTLING | 1:34:25 | 1:34:27 | |
WHOOPING | 1:34:27 | 1:34:29 | |
But, as it turned out, I was wrong. | 1:34:31 | 1:34:33 | |
-That was the only attention my father gave me. -AUDIENCE: Aww. | 1:34:33 | 1:34:38 | |
He was usually too busy in the park playing ball with my sister Rose. | 1:34:38 | 1:34:43 | |
But today, thanks to those many hours of practice, | 1:34:44 | 1:34:47 | |
my sister Rose has grown into a fine man. | 1:34:47 | 1:34:50 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 1:34:50 | 1:34:52 | |
WHISTLING AND WHOOPING | 1:34:52 | 1:34:54 | |
I wasn't interested in athletics. | 1:34:55 | 1:34:58 | |
The only exercise I got was when the other kids picked on me. | 1:34:58 | 1:35:02 | |
They beat me up every Tuesday. | 1:35:02 | 1:35:05 | |
And then, the school worked it into the curriculum. | 1:35:06 | 1:35:09 | |
And if you knocked me out, you got extra credit. | 1:35:10 | 1:35:14 | |
Except this one poor kid was afraid of me. | 1:35:15 | 1:35:18 | |
I used to tell him, "Hit me! What's the matter with you? | 1:35:18 | 1:35:22 | |
"Don't you want to graduate?" | 1:35:22 | 1:35:24 | |
APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING | 1:35:24 | 1:35:26 | |
I was the youngest kid in the the history of the school to graduate in traction. | 1:35:28 | 1:35:34 | |
But my only real interest, right from the beginning, was show business. | 1:35:36 | 1:35:42 | |
As a young man, I began at the very top, | 1:35:42 | 1:35:45 | |
collecting autographs. | 1:35:45 | 1:35:47 | |
Now... | 1:35:47 | 1:35:49 | |
A lot of you are probably wondering why Jerry isn't with us tonight. | 1:35:51 | 1:35:56 | |
The fact is, he's tied up. And I'm the one who tied him. | 1:35:56 | 1:36:00 | |
I know you think I'm joking, but that's the only way I could break into show business. | 1:36:01 | 1:36:07 | |
By hijacking Jerry Langford. | 1:36:07 | 1:36:09 | |
Right now, Jerry is strapped to a chair somewhere in this city. | 1:36:09 | 1:36:14 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 1:36:14 | 1:36:16 | |
WHISTLING AND WHOOPING | 1:36:16 | 1:36:18 | |
Go ahead and laugh. Thank you. I appreciate it. | 1:36:19 | 1:36:23 | |
But the fact is, I'm here. | 1:36:23 | 1:36:25 | |
Tomorrow you'll know I wasn't kidding and you'll think I was crazy. | 1:36:25 | 1:36:30 | |
But better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime. | 1:36:30 | 1:36:34 | |
APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING | 1:36:34 | 1:36:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:37:01 | 1:37:03 | |
ORCHESTRA PLAY HIM OFF | 1:37:03 | 1:37:06 | |
POLICE SIRENS | 1:37:12 | 1:37:14 | |
MAN: How did you do that? | 1:37:15 | 1:37:17 | |
Did you like it? Thank you. | 1:37:17 | 1:37:20 | |
I'll buy everyone a drink. I hope you enjoyed the show. ..Rita, keep the change. | 1:37:20 | 1:37:25 | |
Come on. Let's go. > | 1:37:25 | 1:37:27 | |
-Just because I made it big doesn't mean I'll forget you. -Come on, will you? | 1:37:27 | 1:37:33 | |
-I'll call you, as soon as... -Come on. | 1:37:33 | 1:37:35 | |
What's happening here? That's the same guy who was on TV. | 1:37:35 | 1:37:40 | |
Just now, the same guy. | 1:37:40 | 1:37:42 | |
I'm just getting even. | 1:37:43 | 1:37:45 | |
Those jokes... those jokes were murder. | 1:37:45 | 1:37:48 | |
-You didn't like those jokes? -No. No. | 1:37:48 | 1:37:50 | |
I'm looking for the guy that wrote your material. | 1:37:50 | 1:37:54 | |
I'd like to pick him up. | 1:37:54 | 1:37:56 | |
-I wrote it. -You wrote that material? | 1:37:56 | 1:37:59 | |
I think they were very good jokes. | 1:37:59 | 1:38:01 | |
If you wrote it, I've got one piece of advice for you. | 1:38:01 | 1:38:05 | |
Throw yourself on your knees in front of the judge and beg for mercy. | 1:38:05 | 1:38:10 | |
That's very funny, but you'll see. | 1:38:10 | 1:38:13 | |
NEWS: 'In a bizarre debut, self-styled comedian Rupert Pupkin appeared on The Jerry Langford Show.' | 1:38:13 | 1:38:20 | |
NEWS: 'The name Rupert Pupkin is now a household word.' | 1:38:20 | 1:38:24 | |
'We estimate his performance has been viewed by a record 87,000,000 households.' | 1:38:24 | 1:38:30 | |
'The kidnapping King of Comedy was sentenced to six years in prison in Allenwood, Pennsylvania, | 1:38:30 | 1:38:37 | |
'for his part in the abduction of Jerry Langford.' | 1:38:37 | 1:38:41 | |
'Explaining his appearance on the show, | 1:38:41 | 1:38:44 | |
'Rupert Pupkin told reporters he still considers Jerry his friend and mentor.' | 1:38:44 | 1:38:50 | |
'He has been writing his memoirs, which have been purchased | 1:38:50 | 1:38:55 | |
'by a leading publishing house for over 1,000,000.' | 1:38:55 | 1:38:58 | |
'Rupert Pupkin was released after serving two years and nine months. | 1:38:58 | 1:39:04 | |
'Hundreds were there to greet the 37-year-old. | 1:39:04 | 1:39:07 | |
'His agent announced that King For A Night, his best-selling autobiography, | 1:39:07 | 1:39:13 | |
'would become a motion picture.' | 1:39:13 | 1:39:16 | |
'Pupkin said he had used his prison term to sharpen his material. | 1:39:16 | 1:39:20 | |
'He is looking forward to resuming his show business career.' | 1:39:20 | 1:39:25 | |
MC: 'And now, ladies and gentlemen, the man we've all been waiting for. | 1:39:26 | 1:39:31 | |
'And waiting for. | 1:39:31 | 1:39:33 | |
ORCHESTRA INTRO | 1:39:33 | 1:39:35 | |
'Would you welcome home, please, television's brightest new star, | 1:39:35 | 1:39:40 | |
'the legendary, inspirational, one-and-only King of Comedy | 1:39:40 | 1:39:45 | |
'ladies and gentlemen, Rupert Pupkin.' | 1:39:45 | 1:39:48 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:39:48 | 1:39:50 | |
CHEERING | 1:39:50 | 1:39:52 | |
'Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Rupert Pupkin!' | 1:40:00 | 1:40:04 | |
APPLAUSE | 1:40:04 | 1:40:06 | |
'Wonderful. Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen. | 1:40:08 | 1:40:11 | |
'Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen. | 1:40:14 | 1:40:17 | |
'Let's hear it for Rupert Pupkin. | 1:40:17 | 1:40:20 | |
'Wonderful. Rupert Pupkin, ladies and gentlemen.' | 1:40:20 | 1:40:23 | |
WHISTLING | 1:40:23 | 1:40:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 1:40:26 | 1:40:28 | |
MUSIC: "Wonderful Remark" by Van Morrison | 1:40:37 | 1:40:40 | |
# How can you stand the silence | 1:40:47 | 1:40:50 | |
# That pervades when we all cry? | 1:40:51 | 1:40:54 | |
# How can you watch the violence | 1:40:55 | 1:40:58 | |
# That erupts before your eyes? | 1:40:59 | 1:41:01 | |
# How can you tell us something | 1:41:02 | 1:41:04 | |
# Just to keep us hanging on? | 1:41:06 | 1:41:08 | |
# Something that just don't mean nothing | 1:41:09 | 1:41:12 | |
# When we see it, you are gone | 1:41:14 | 1:41:16 | |
# Clinging to some other rainbow | 1:41:18 | 1:41:20 | |
# I was standing, waiting in the cold | 1:41:21 | 1:41:24 | |
# Telling us the same old story | 1:41:25 | 1:41:28 | |
# Knowing time is growing old | 1:41:29 | 1:41:31 | |
# That was a wonderful remark | 1:41:33 | 1:41:37 | |
# I had my eyes closed in the dark | 1:41:40 | 1:41:44 | |
# I sighed a million sighs | 1:41:48 | 1:41:50 | |
# I told a million lies | 1:41:52 | 1:41:54 | |
# To myself | 1:41:54 | 1:41:56 | |
# To myself | 1:41:58 | 1:42:00 | |
# How can we listen to you | 1:42:11 | 1:42:15 | |
# When we know your talk is cheap? | 1:42:15 | 1:42:17 | |
# How can we ever question | 1:42:19 | 1:42:22 | |
# Why we give more and you keep? | 1:42:23 | 1:42:25 | |
# How can your empty laughter | 1:42:26 | 1:42:28 | |
# Fill a room like ours with joy? | 1:42:30 | 1:42:33 | |
# When you're only playing with us like a child with a toy... # | 1:42:33 | 1:42:37 | |
Subtitles by Paul Vane, ITFC, for BBC Subtitling - 2001 | 1:42:37 | 1:42:41 | |
E-mail us at [email protected] | 1:42:41 | 1:42:44 |