On a Clear Day

FOOTSTEPS

This is a...a poem.

It was...I found it in the library.

It's for my son.

"To A Child Dancing In The Wind.

"Dance there upon the shore

"What need have you to care for wind or waters roar

"Tumble out your hair

"That the salt drops of wet

"What need have you to dread

"The monsters crying on the wind?"

LAUGHTER

Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Excuse me.

James?

James? James! James! Come here.

Stay close, OK?

Give me your hand, tight. Hold it tight.

Sorry, sorry.

-Sorry.

-Where are they?

Frank, you look after yourself, all right?

Angela, this way. Sorry. Excuse me.

There she goes, boys.

Look at that, isn't that fantastic?

-Rob!

-Mum, there you are.

I thought I was going to miss it.

-Where's Grandpa?

-I don't know.

Pappy won't be coming, he's not here.

Come on, Frank!

You're missing it, Frank.

-You coming out?

-I'll be out in a minute, Danny.

-How can they let someone else build our Navy's ships?

-The way it is.

And you?

How can they let YOU go?

You want this?

No, thanks.

All right, Gus?

You all right?

HISSING BANG

-Joan Redmond?

-Yeah, sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me.

-Sorry.

-Right.

As I was saying, driving a bus is exactly the same as driving a car

except for the 50 or so back-seat drivers sitting behind you.

SHE CHUCKLES

Rob brought the boys for your last day.

They were looking for you.

Gus Fuller lost his hand today.

What? How?

One of the presses.

Will he get more money?

I watched him do it.

That's you tidy.

See you soon, love.

-Hello?

-Hey.

-JSA, Pensions or Disability?

I'm looking for a job.

-First time?

-Yeah.

You'll need to speak to someone. Let's see who's free.

-Angela.

-All right?

-You OK?

Look, Frank, you don't have to fill it in here.

You can do it at home.

HE PANTS

-Won't be the same at work without Frank.

-You got the boot as well,

-dozy pillock.

-He might have a heart attack. That happens, doesn't it?

Work Monday, redundant Tuesday, heart attack Wednesday.

Well, Frank'll be all right then, today's Thursday.

What in the name of total insanity are you wearing?

Oh, I had nae clean ones.

-Tell me they're not your mother's.

-Don't be daft, they're Big Janine's.

-Left them in the pub again on Friday.

-Don't let Frank catch you.

-I knew they'd come in handy.

-For what?

-What if I get run over?

Frank won't be coming swimming. I'm glad I got out when I did.

-It's nasty.

-Frank could have stayed on, like me. The men respect him.

He just had to let them upstairs think they were running the job.

The man's too pig-headed for his own good.

-Frank, I didn't mean...

-Leave it.

See you in the pool, then.

-SIREN HOOTS

-Frank?

Frank!

-Frank?

-Excuse me. Frank!

Frank! Where are you going?

-HE GASPS

-Frank.

Oh, my God.

Hey, man.

-Get an ambulance, get an ambulance.

-Please, no!

-You're all right, lad. You're all right.

-Get out of my way!

It's OK, he's OK. Dad's fine.

-It was a panic attack, that's what the doctor said.

-What?

A panic attack. Don't mention it when he comes out.

Let's go.

-Eddie rang me.

-He's got a big mouth.

-He was worried.

-I slipped, OK?

-Can I get money for can of Coke?

-You collapsed.

-Mum says you had a panic attack.

-I slipped and fell, that happens.

-What you asking me for?

-Have you got money for a can of Coke?

-No.

-I don't, have you got your purse?

-No.

-Ask your dad for money.

-How do I get out of here?

-Down there?

-Where? Right, left, where?

-That way!

-I'll find it.

-I'm sorry.

Come on, boys, let's go.

What's the matter with you? You could have said hello.

You should not have told him.

Hands.

-Is Pappy all right?

-Of course he is.

Do you like Pappy?

Pappy and I are just different.

Pappy doesn't like you.

Look who it is. Frank's little girl.

HE CHUCKLES

Are our fish suppers ready yet, Chinaman?

Oh, God love us, he's a real chatterbox tonight, isn't he?

Tell you what, I've changed my mind.

I fancy a curry.

See you Tuesday.

Just a bag of chips, please, Chan.

Heard about your dad. I'm sorry.

OK, Chan?

Frank, all right?

Good book?

It's for my wife.

It's about cooking.

What are you looking for?

Don't know.

But whatever it is, it's not in here.

-He doesn't know what to do.

-More than I can say for you,

driving a bus. Have you told him?

No. Don't want to give him more to worry about.

He's gonna find out sooner or later.

He's shut me out again, Michelle. Like when Stuart... It won't last.

-Are things better with him and Rob?

-Not really.

-Hey.

-Hiya.

-Bag of chips, please.

-Is your dad around?

-No.

-Salt and vinegar?

-Please.

Oh, hi, Frank, come on in.

I'm just off to work. Tom Cruise is in the front room.

Eddie, it's Frank. He's got chips.

'The tiny industrious little beetle is about to meet someone...'

I've seen this before.

That wee beetle pushes that big ball of shite

for what is the equivalent of six miles for him.

Then, just as he gets to where he's going, another beetle comes

and steals it from under his nose. It's what happens, wait and see.

Six miles. Poor bastard.

They'll have you shovelling shit, you know that?

I know.

You still coming on the booze cruise to France? It'll do us good.

I can see myself on the ship now.

Captain Eddie Fraser.

Beer in my hand and the sea air in my lungs.

Oi, Eddie! That seagull's eating your puke.

He caught it in the air! That seagull caught it in the air!

Puke again, Eddie! Go on, puke again.

-HE LAUGHS

-That's brilliant, that.

All right?

Bloody hell.

You can see France already. Isn't very far, is it?

-Near enough to swim.

-I wish I had.

Frank?

Frank?

You all right?

How mad would you have to be to swim this?

Totally.

-How far is it to France?

-We're in France, you dipstick.

Yeah, I know we're in France but how far is it, from Britain?

20 miles, give or take the odd oil tanker.

-20? How do they measure?

-They look very small from here, don't they?

They are very small, love.

We just like to shrink when we get near them.

You can't swim one of the busiest shipping routes cos the fancy takes.

-Who'd you show your passport to? Punch and Judy?

-The deckchair man.

I was a deckchair man for a day.

-Only a day?

-It wasn't what I was expecting.

-Did you tell him yet?

-No, God, no.

I will. He won't like it. He'll think it's to do losing his job.

And he'll like it even less when he finds out the truth,

that it's got absolutely nothing to do with him at all.

Sorry to call you back to the yard like this, Frank.

It's a small legal matter. I just need to prove something.

I know you must be busy.

You know these guys, Frank.

-So?

-I told you.

I didn't see anything.

He must have been desperate.

He's going to get nothing.

He used the wrong hand.

He's right-handed.

Duncan?

He crossed hands...

to operate the press.

OK.

You should have been more loyal to the company, Frank.

You wouldn't know what loyalty is.

Loyalty is a full wage packet at the end of the week.

Loyalty is being valued,

being happy with yourself. You happy with yourself, Frank?

Who do you think you are?

You seriously think you can intimidate people

into being loyal to you?

There's not a man in this yard would piss on you if you were on fire.

Hi, Frank!

-Cannae keep away, hey?

-Frank!

-I knocked a vase over.

-Which one?

-The one with the crack in it?

-No, the other one.

Will it fix?

I need to go and get changed.

So what if you swam the Clyde? The Channel's completely different.

Do you think you could, then, Frank?

-I know I could.

-Look! You got made redundant.

You should just face up to it like everyone else.

Face up to it?

Like you did, Eddie?

-That's a lot of reading.

-That's a lot of swimming.

-You think I'm wasting my time?

-A gem cannot be polished without friction,

nor man perfected without trials.

Is that a yes or a no?

When do we start?

Hey, hey, hey. What have we forgotten?

What's this?

You know we're not allowed.

In you go. I'll see you at 3.30.

-Bye!

-Bye!

-Hi, son.

-Dad.

-OK?

-You?

-Yeah, good.

-Busy?

Aye.

You used to have one of them, remember?

Yeah.

They had one each but they're always losing them.

I was gonna go for a coffee. Wanna come?

I'd better not, I've got to get on.

Maybe next time?

Aye.

I promised Michelle I'd fix this for her.

I wanted to see what was inside. It doesn't want to go back together.

Things aren't meant to be fixed nowadays.

No.

Not by you, anyway.

How's work?

HE SIGHS

What was it Sausage Fingers said today? Something funny.

No, I can't remember. It was funny, anyway, whatever it was.

The thing that he said.

It was funny.

I'm gonna swim it, Ed.

I know you are.

-Oh, my, that's a lot of reading.

-It's a lot of swimming.

Probably mentions sharks. Does it?

-There's no sharks in the Channel.

-One shark, they opened it up,

-they found a telly.

-Did not.

-Don't tell me, the telly was still on.

It's important to take it seriously or you may as well not bother.

-Bloody hell.

-Bugger me.

Are you coming or are you going?

-ALL:

-Sorry, Frank.

To start with, there's the training schedule.

-I don't mean to be rude, Chan...

-Things we need to do to set the swim up.

-I didn't think you spoke English.

-I didn't think you could speak.

-Danny.

-First, we need to register the swim.

I've only heard you say three words and two were "salt" and "vinegar".

For the love of God, will you let the man speak? Sorry, Chan.

Next, we have to get a boat and an experienced pilot.

How about Merv, he's got a boat?

-Merv the Perv's got a boat?

-One of them daft pointy ones,

-all chrome and shiny plastic.

-I don't wanna talk to Merv.

-Dinky wee bar.

-Does it go fast, though?

-Like shit off a stick.

Two years is what it takes.

I wanna do it in six months.

Do you have time to help me?

Aye.

Ed, I would have asked you but I didn't think you'd have the time.

Aye, well... Chan's probably better at this sort of thing than me.

Look, guys, do me a favour, can we just keep this to ourselves?

-Sure.

-Aye.

-Aye.

-Is he in?

-Aye, he's in the kitchen.

-Right.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Good evening.

-Hello, Norman.

-I've got a cake.

-Oh, very nice.

DOORBELL RINGS

-Hello, Mrs Redmond.

-Hello.

-It's Danny, Danny Campbell.

Ah, right. You want Frank? He's...in the kitchen.

DOORBELL RINGS

Come in.

He's in the kitchen.

Keep your eyes open, James. Here.

Here you go.

-All right, Rob?

-Danny, how's things?

Aye, not bad. Skint, no job, no girlfriend, and I've been wearing

Big Janine's knickers since last February. I can't complain.

-Aaargh!

-No' easy that, doing a woman's job.

I'll leave you to it. Rather you than me!

-You OK?

-Yeah.

Leave it alone, you big numpty. And try to stay on your feet.

I saw Dad down the pool again. What's he up to?

-Swimming.

-Seems he's there all the time.

-Does him good. Away you go.

-How did they both manage to fall over?

-Practice.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Can we go up to our room?

-Yes, you can.

I didn't know you had this.

Angela dug it out. It's a good sand boat.

Hmmm. That's all you ever wanted to make, both of you.

-Must be in your blood.

-Biscuit?

-I go up there every now and then.

-I know.

Mum?

I failed my bus test.

That's not bad.

The time's faster and you're getting more distance from the strokes.

But it's still a long way from the real thing.

-You'd be better at bus driving than me.

-I thought about it.

Kept seeing those ads. So, why didn't you tell us?

There's no sugar in this.

-Can you take it again?

-You get three go's.

You should try for it, you'd be good.

What, and have Angela give up work? She earns twice what I could.

-I said before, I can help with the twins.

-I've said before,

they're my kids. If I'm not prepared to look after them,

-we shouldn't have had them. What?

-You're like your dad.

Aaron, when you get to the side, just stop and wait.

-You OK?

-It's all right, he's fine!

-I'm all right.

That's the way he swims. It's OK, leave him. Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes!

-Yes!

-Did you see that, big man?

You call that swimming?

Aye.

-You got a name?

-Aaron.

Good name.

Good swimmer.

Rob, hurry up.

-Let's go.

-He's probably not here.

-You said he comes all the time.

-Unless you don't want to.

-I didn't say all the time,

I said some of time, smartarse.

-All right, Frank.

-All right, Danny.

-Who's that?

-I used to work with him.

OK, OK.

I'm gonna be first! No cheating.

-You got a head start.

-Ow, my toe. I stubbed my toe.

-Who won the race?

-THEY LAUGH

Right, whose clothes are who here?

-Is there anyone else in here?

-No, you're safe.

Come out! Why are you hiding in there? You've got the shampoo.

-Have I?

-Why do men's changing rooms always smell of P-I-S-S?

You're lucky, normally they smell of S-H-I-T.

-What does that spell?

-THEY ALL LAUGH

Right, clothes on.

Come on, let's get dressed.

THEY CHAT

See you Monday.

Excuse me.

See you Monday.

-Just a three.

-Danny.

Get his change right, Shirley, he'll be watching the pennies.

It's not even May. You can't go swimming outdoors this time of year.

I've got to get colder. I'm going to Loch Lomond tomorrow.

-There's frost forecast.

-We should all do it, lend a bit of morale.

-I'll do it, sounds like a laugh. What about you, Eddie?

-Count me in.

I support much better when I'm dry. I'm a dry kind of supporter.

-Nice cake, Norman.

-Yeah, less salt this time.

ALL SHOUT

Where are you going?

-No!

-Eddie, come on!

-I can't do this!

ALL SHOUT

Hold on, Frank! I'll be right with you!

Don't worry, son, it'll grow back.

-It better had. I'm playing football later on.

-Here we go, lads.

-Nice cold beers to warm you up.

-Cheers, guys.

-Slainte. ALL:

-Slainte.

The fire of the crucible.

-What is the fire of the crucible?

-Chinese proverb.

From now on, you train in the cold.

Plus you have to swim 25 miles a week, six days a week.

Here, I've got one for you, Chan. Man who walks through

airport turnstile sideways, is going to bang cock.

ALL LAUGH

How do you know he's going to Bangkok?

Bang cock. Bang...cock.

Listen, we still need to get a hold of a boat so we can support Frank.

-Merv the Perv's got a boat.

-Do you think he'd let us have a go?

I don't see why not, he'd let you have a go with his wife.

-ALL LAUGH

-Bangkok! Bang...

I can't. I thought I could but I can't. I'll see you at the bus stop!

Hey! Over here.

Come on.

Don't be shy.

Give it a try.

Merv, it's Frank. Can I have a word?

Oh, hiya, Frank.

-Vera, it's Frank.

-VERA'S VOICE IS MUFFLED

-Hi, Vera.

-How's Joan?

Joan's...she's fine, yeah.

VERA'S MUFFLED VOICE

Oh, she's still after Joan's recipe for that lemon cheesecake.

I'll remind her.

Listen, I'm sorry, is this a bad time?

-I could come back later.

-No, no, it's great, Frank.

Norman says you've got a boat.

I was wondering if maybe we could... borrow it?

-I wanna shag it!

-Merv probably has.

-You sure you know what you're doing?

-Of course I do!

-I was in Sea Cadets!

-Bit different to a leaky canoe on the Clyde.

-Don't worry, I'll be careful.

-Just make sure you are.

Are you not coming, Norman?

Get on there with the missing link at the helm? You're joking!

No, I'll leave it till I find my sea legs. Next time.

ALL SHOUT

Right, then.

ENGINE STRUGGLES TO START

-Oh, you flooded it.

-I'll fix it. Just give us a minute.

Help!

-Norman!

-ENGINE STARTS

Aaargh! Oh, shite!

HE LAUGHS

Bollocks! Aaargh!

HE SCREAMS

SILENCE FALLS

Keep your eye on that, will you?

What's on your mind, son?

-I've been thinking.

-What with?

I was thinking... I could have a go at the Channel too.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. What do you think?

-You think you're up to it?

-Oh, yeah.

-Definitely.

-Yeah?

-Definitely.

-Hi.

-All right, Rob?

Evening, Janine. Pint of lager, please.

Eight packets of crisps, assorted flavours, no prawn cocktail,

two pork pies, three ham sandwiches and a pint of Guinness, please.

I'm in training. Swimming. I've got to bulk up.

-You're swimming?

-Training.

But I'm getting mentally prepared. I'm in mental training.

-How's things with you, then?

-The same.

How's the big fella?

-What?

-Your little boy, he fell on his arse the last time I saw you.

Oh, yeah. He's all right. He...does it all the time. Bounces back.

Oh, yeah, they're very bouncy, kids.

Like balls. Or castles.

It's gotta be the most difficult job in the world, being a dad.

Probably why mine left us.

But you don't miss what you never had, do you?

You stay in front of him, Frank. If the water suddenly gets warm,

-that'll be Danny.

-How many of those have you eaten?

-Just the one.

-Well, get rid of it.

Right, OK.

Don't do anything stupid. Get into trouble,

what do you do? Go to the boat, yeah?

All right, now remember, we're not superheroes.

-I hear you. I'm good.

-Let's go.

-What's that?

Jellyfish.

They're fine, they're fine.

Come on!

-Colder than last time!

-Danny, go down.

-Come on, here we go!

-Danny!

-Watch this.

-Pace yourself.

'You are king of the jungle.'

I'm a lion.

-HE GROWLS

-'Now, repeat after me...'

Right, there you go, Frank.

Why can't he just hold onto the boat and get it?

He wants to do it right. Touch the boat, and the swim won't count.

Aargh!

TAPE SLOWS DOWN AND SPEEDS UP

HORN BLARES

SCREAMS: Eddie!

-He's got cramp!

-Start the boat, Chan, start the boat!

Danny! Danny, hold on!

-Dan!

-Hold on!

-ENGINE LABOURS

It won't start.

It's OK, it's OK. Calm down. Easy.

COUGHS

-What did the doctor say?

-The doctor says he's gonna be all right.

No thanks to you. He looks to you like a dad.

-You should have stopped him.

-It wasn't Frank's fault, Mum.

-I will not have him go in the water again.

-Ma, it was my own fault.

I just wanted to be the man for once.

Olympic superstar,

Nike sponsorship.

Just...be the man, you know?

Like you.

I didn't want you to be disappointed.

I was when I found out it was Eddie that gave me the kiss of life.

LAUGHS

Are you going training now?

Put some down for me, will you?

You can help out.

On the boat or something.

But he wears a life jacket if he's anywhere near you.

-So his mother's not too happy then?

-I should have stopped him.

-Remember you stopped Rob swimming in here that time?

-Yeah, he was seven.

He cursed like mad when I pulled him out cos his mates were watching.

-Jumped right back in.

-If I'd disobeyed my father at that age,

he'd have beat the hell outta me. But I loved him.

I've never hit Rob.

Ever. Not once.

Yet now we can't find two words to say to each other.

Seems like everything's backwards.

MUFFLED VOICES

Why don't we just take a chance? Go to Dover?

Long way to go for nothing if we don't find somebody.

You said yourself, you don't find a pilot, you can't swim.

-OK. I'll go later this week.

-I'll come for the ride.

-Get a saver, should be cheap enough.

-Take Danny too.

-Make sure he brings his water wings this time.

-SNORES

-It said apply thickly.

-Maybe we overdid it.

-I'm sorry.

-SIGHS

Was it the lorry? But he swerved first.

-Lunatic.

-Mrs Redmond, you need to be more...

I'll let you go one more time.

Here we are. Right.

I've just had a word with the barmaid.

Apparently, there is a guy that can do it.

Goes by the name of Mad Bob.

Mad Bob?

He doesn't sound normal.

-He sounds frigging nuts. Is he here?

-You looking for a boat?

-We might be.

-Either you are or you're not.

We are.

-So it's you that's gonna be swimming?

-Hmm-mm.

If you can't beat me... you ain't the man to do the swim.

And I ain't the man to take you.

I take it you're Mad Bob.

We go on three.

One,...two,...

..three.

850 the crossing, 200 deposit, no refunds.

Will we get to see your boat?

-What for?

-We get to see the boat.

Righty-ho, you get to see the boat.

Shark. 35 footer.

Fell off my bike. Two wheeler.

Let's go.

There she is.

Is this yours?

It's all right.

-It's good.

-Yeah. Very nice.

-There you go, fellas, tea's up.

-What date is it today?

-22nd June.

-Aye, it's the 22nd.

-You sure?

-Is that a two or a five?

Yeah, it's the 22nd.

One, two, three!

ALL CHEER

-ALL:

-# For they are jolly good fellows

# For they are jolly good fellows

# For they are jolly good fellows

# And so say all of us. #

-Where were you?

-Sorry, I got held up.

-I'll get you some food.

-No, it's fine, I've...

-And a nice big piece of cake.

-Were you waiting for me?

-They were.

It's fine, it worked out better. Come on, let's go crazy!

CHILDREN SCREAM

Hey.

Here you are. So what did you get them?

Since when did I do the shopping?

-Your mother likes to get those things.

-You got them the racetracks.

Mum still likes to do that thing where she signs the card

and makes it look like you've signed it too.

How's the swimming coming on?

I heard you were gonna swim the English Channel.

-I didn't tell her.

-You were right not to.

-Why?

-Because you heard wrong.

I heard that Danny parked Merv's boat halfway up the beach.

And I heard that you're planning to swim the Channel this summer.

Danny gets carried away.

-Saw you down the library.

-I like reading.

-Saw you down the pool.

I like swimming. What?

I'm gonna get some jelly before it's all gone.

-You can have another go, can't you?

-I can't seem to concentrate lately.

-You told him at last then?

-No, it's not that.

It's something else.

I think he might be having an affair.

LAUGHS

But he's acting so odd.

I'm sorry, that's just daft. I mean - Well, there's Vera.

It's not funny. She rang last weekend.

-It's probably just got something to do with the boat.

-What boat?

The boat! The lads are borrowing a boat to help Frank swim the Channel.

What channel?

Thank you.

Nice.

You know we were talking about buying a car?

Hmm. I fixed the wing mirror back on.

Michelle said Arthur Hall's selling his Metro. It's red.

-I thought we said a new car could wait?

-We didn't, you did.

We have to be careful with the money from now on.

Michelle says the insides are just like new.

She also says you've been borrowing Merv's boat

to help you train to swim the Channel

and I was wondering when you were thinking about telling me.

I was also wondering how it is we can't afford a new car

but you can afford a boat to show you the way to bloody France.

I'd be worried about you trying to swim all that way, Frank,

if I wasn't so angry.

I've never asked you for anything, Frank,

but honesty was something I took for granted.

TAPPING

Look who it is, the three wise monkeys.

Your dad's just got a few more lengths to do. Why don't we wait -

I know about his secret, I wanna talk to him, is that all right?

-Come on.

-Eddie.

-Hey!

You're a liar, Dad.

You lied to me about swimming the Channel.

Maybe I did.

Why?

-Is it because I don't have a job?

-It's not about you.

Because I look after the twins? I'm not ashamed of that, Dad!

-I'm not ashamed, like you think I should be!

-Good! You're not ashamed.

No, but you are.

You're the one who's ashamed!

-I'm not listening to this.

-Why? What are you afraid of?

Afraid I'll drown?! Look at me, I'm drowning!

36 years! 36 years.

12 hours a day, five days a week.

Now, you tell me, when was I supposed to go shopping?!

COUGHS

He'll be OK, Just needs time to cool off.

-We need to make sure you keep up the times tomorrow.

-No.

-What?

-No.

I can't do it.

-Frank -

-I can't do it.

-He's right.

-Come on, Frank, come on.

I'm not going to be swimming.

Your father didn't mean to hurt you.

I was married once.

Her name was Bridget.

She left me for a jam salesman.

She never even liked jam.

I didn't bother with women again after that.

I was always too scared the same thing would happen all over.

If anyone tried to get close, I just pushed them away.

Your father did the same thing with you after the accident.

Pushed you away.

He blames me.

No, he doesn't.

He blames himself. Always has.

Now, you're soaking the seat and it's leather. It'll stain.

All that way, Frank.

I thought we were too old for secrets.

Like learning how to drive a bus?

There was an ad.

In the paper.

I failed twice.

But I'm going to take it again. I'm not giving up.

You ready?

We're not the train.

There's no point in waiting, I've got the keys, remember?

-(Pappy.)

-Shh.

-(Are you playing a game?)

-(Yeah.)

-Don't make me come back out.

You'd better go inside.

(Is it a secret?)

-(Yeah.)

-(Like Daddy's wee brother?)

(He says we must not talk about him. That it makes you sad.)

(Does it make you sad?)

Sometimes.

I won't too.

Good boy.

Are you going to swim the Channel?

I don't know.

-What do you think?

-Dad says it's too dangerous.

What is the Channel?

It's the sea between England and France.

-SIGHS

-Are there any...sharks?

-No sharks.

-Crocodiles?

-Uh-uh.

-Piranhas?

-Bananas?

-Piranhas.

Piranhas!

No, no piranhas.

It doesn't sound too dangerous to me then.

OK, bye!

I can swim like a fish.

Are you stopping out here all day or are you planning to come in?

Hey, big man, you not swimming?!

Yes!

That's £5 you owe me. I told you he'd be here.

We're a delegation.

A delegation?

It's a kind of a gang.

Thanks for that, Dan.

Does the delegation have a proposal?

Yeah. We think you're wrong to give up

-now we've come this far.

-We also think you're a big daft bollocks -

See that? See that little lad with the red hair?

It takes everything out of him just to swim one width, just one.

He won't take any help

and he never gives up.

Ever.

-And when he gets to the other side...

-Yes!

I'm not giving up.

That toilet needs cleaning again.

Do it yourself.

BOTH LAUGH

Hi, Davey. All right, ladies? Pat.

-My God.

-All right, love? Nearly finished?

Only I thought we might go out.

You mean together?

Oh, aye. You and me, me and you.

Excuse me.

Please don't drop the bags, they split.

Oh, aye?

Sorry, pal.

-See you Wednesday.

-See you Wednesday.

I nearly drowned.

-We heard.

-In the sea. What were you doing in the sea?

I don't know. Do you wanna go out with me?

Yeah.

Good. That's good.

Happy days.

"North westerly, south westerly,

"five or six."

You smell of chlorine.

Like Dad when he was laid out.

He used to smell of oil and Woodbines.

I was 16.

You came down to talk to Dad about something.

I couldn't believe how handsome you were.

I'm learning to drive a bus.

And then, if I pass,

I'm going to drive a bus.

It'll be my job. A proper job.

Driving a bus.

I'm going up.

So should you.

You have a big day tomorrow.

Thanks for the sandwiches.

Good luck.

That, er...time,

when I came to see your father. I didn't.

I came to see you.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with...

-You'll never get this. A.

-Air freshener.

-No.

-Ambulance.

-No.

-You might get it, Norman.

-Why?

-Cos you're nearer it.

-You could say you're on it.

-I'm on it?

-Kinda.

-Arse.

-No, cos you'd have that as well. Unless it was Norman's arse.

-Leave my arse outta this.

-And that would be N-A.

-You OK with heights?

-Yeah.

-You?

-Oh, yeah.

-You sure?

-Hmm-mm.

I was thinking about Joan.

I should have told her.

What I was hiding.

-Maybe we should leave him alone?

-Why? We should be there for him.

-What if he doesn't want us there?

-You're as pig-headed as your father.

Of course he wants us there. He just doesn't know how to ask.

-But he's not gonna achieve anything by it.

-How do you know?!

Because he's not gonna bring Stuart back by swimming the Channel.

Oh, God.

It's not Stuart he wants back.

I'm away.

Mum. Thanks for the toys.

It's OK.

What toys?

-LOUD FARTING

-Better out than in, right?

-For God's sake.

-One more of them

and you're sleeping in the car.

LAUGHTER

I knew a guy once,

could fart in German. ALL LAUGH

SIREN BLARES

You took your time.

I'm sitting in the front.

The observer fella seems all right.

Right, it's five o'clock, let's get cracking. Don't forget,

don't touch the boat or it will invalidate your swim.

When you get to France, pick up a stone and bring it back to the boat.

-OK.

-Good luck.

Thank you. Thank you.

Go on.

-Good luck, mate.

-Good luck, Frank.

-Thanks, lads.

Right.

See youse.

-You not joining us?

-No, I don't float very well.

Me neither.

OK.

Come on, Frank!

That's the way!

We'll be there in no time, Frank.

Nice rhythm, that.

One, two,

three, four.

Oh! I'm all right, Frank!

I'm all right. Carry on.

You passed, didn't you?

-I thought you'd never ask.

-Well done, Mum!

-Congratulations, that's brilliant!

-We should celebrate with a gum drop.

-The fumes are killing me.

-I can't help that.

I'm keeping this close to keep you on course.

I can't breathe. I'll go ahead.

What bloody use will I be then?

Stupid bastard. Bloody fool!

"I am confident."

-I am confident.

-"I am a lion."

-I am a lion.

I'm not a timorous beastie, I'm a lion!

WHIMPERS

He's doing great, isn't he?

No. At this rate, he's not gonna make it before ebb tide and if he

-doesn't, he's gonna get swept back out to sea.

-Isn't that a bit bleak?

-No, he's right.

-I'll pick up the pace and he'll have to keep up.

Better do some hypothermia checks. Can we get closer?

Frank! Where are you swimming from?

-England.

-Where in England?

-Dover.

-What day is it?

-What?

-What day is it?!

-Thursday.

-He seems all right.

Come on.

I didn't think to ask where in France he was swimming to.

-There, that's where he's swimming to.

-How do you know?

-Pappy showed me.

-When did Pappy show you?

-I'm not telling you.

"RADIO CHATTER"

How many times you try yourself?

-Three.

-Did you ever make it?

-Third time lucky.

There it is. Sortie, way out.

-What is it?

-Ebb tide.

It's dragging him back out.

What if he can't beat it? Can't we do anything?

-He's in for the long haul.

-He won't be able to last that long.

-Yes, he will.

-He won't. His body temperature's dropping.

If he doesn't make this beach, he won't make it at all.

Frank! You've only three miles to go, Frank!

I know you're hurting but you gotta swim faster, the tide's against you.

Frank, you've gotta swim faster!

You can do it, Frank.

You can do it.

Aaargh! Stay there! Stay there, don't move! Don't move from there!

TAPPING

Stop that.

Stop it.

Come on, Frank, come on.

-Is he all right?

-SCREAMS

SCREAMING

Bloody hell.

I need to get out, lads.

What do you think you're doing?

Why don't you just take it slow for a wee while, see if it passes.

Sorry, Chan, I can't do it, mate.

You're nearly there. It's not far.

-I can't do it.

-Frank, your body's hurting because you're beginning

to burn fat. It won't last. If you carry on, you'll get through it.

-It's just the pain barrier, it's all in your mind.

-Get me out!

-It's too far.

-Bollocks, it's always been this far.

-You swim it then!

Fine. Get on board, we can all go home.

All my life I've looked up to you, Frank. All my life.

-I never saw you back down from anything.

-It's too far.

I'm nobody me, I know that. But I'm not daft.

I see what's going on here,

out here in the middle of nowhere.

But he's not here, is he, Frank?

He never was.

It has taken you 23 years to find that out.

So, what now?

Well, I'll tell you what now.

You get back to swimming and you shut up about how far it is.

Shut up about how much it hurts cos you don't have a choice.

You never did!

So come on,

get stuck in!

We're wasting time.

I'll go on then.

It's him! I can't see for sure, but...

Yeah, that's Frank! That's Frank in the water!

There, lads, look! See him?

Come on, let's go.

Come on, I need to be there, Mum!

-Come on!

-My gawd!

GASPS FOR AIR

CHEER

Yes!

If he touches him before he gets out the swim won't be recognised.

ALL SHOUT: Don't!

Let him get out of the water!

What's he...?

-CRIES

-Come on.

What?!

Did I miss something?

LAUGHS, ALL CHEER

Yes!

Come on.

Come on!

LAUGHS

We did it! We swam the Channel!

CHEER

I took the ferry!

Get the stone.

Get the stone.

CHEER

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd