Lady Luck

'No, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a period picture,

'but we'd like to introduce one of the founders of our family -

'William Audrey of the Gambling Audreys. And here is his granddaughter, Mary.

'She's trying what all the Audrey women have tried in vain - to keep him from betting his shirt.'

Colonel Audrey, sir, the Yankees have left Atlanta!

What? Sit down, Carstairs, and have a julep!

No, thank you, sir.

-The Yankees will never reach the sea.

-That's a handsome boast, sir.

-I never make a remark I won't back.

-Grandfather!

How high would you care to play?

-Our plantation makes a substantial stake.

-No, Grandfather, no!

-Quiet, Mary, quiet.

-We can withdraw the wager.

I never withdraw a wager, sir!

THUNDER OF HOOVES

-And who, sir, are you?

-I, sir, am General Sherman.

'Yes, and Sherman did indeed march to the sea, while another Audrey fortune vanished as quickly.

'Let's look at the next generation.

'There's old Buffalo Bill Audrey himself! And there's little always anxious Mary,

'still trying to keep him out of trouble.'

Daniel, I bet every buffalo hide I've got that you can't shoot this bottle off my head at 15 paces.

-You've gotten a bet.

-Yeah!

Please, Grandfather, Daniel's in no condition to shoot!

I know! We're in for a killing, child.

Are you ready, Buffalo Bill?

-Stand aside, child.

-But...

-Yeah!

Wait!

Oh! Oh, Grandfather!

Didn't I tell you? He had nary a chance.

'And so, in the melancholy dust of the vast prairie, another Audrey fortune was founded

'by a superb piece of shrewdness(!)

'Now, if you think those Audreys of bygone days were gamblers,

'meet the king of them all, the old master himself, and here he is - Grandpappy Audrey.

'The Wolf of Wall Street!'

How many shares have I bought today? 176,000? I want 16,000 more.

That's a silly number!

PHONE BUZZES

What? No! Don't you understand? I'm not selling, I'm buying!

Buying!

'And here's little Mary, the lovely child he swore will never want.

'But wait - what's this? Perhaps you remember the Black Friday of 1929.

'This little Mary will face the same tribulations as all the Audrey women.

'The odds are against her reforming her grandfather, but she'll try.

'And so time and the Audreys march on, westward to new frontiers,

'to Beverly Hills, California!'

-OK, Miss Audrey?

-It's beautiful.

-Watch the store, Gramp. I have to go to the bank.

-I'll go for you.

No, you won't. You watch the store.

-Oh.

-You give the place distinction.

Naturally!

5,000-worth of books!

And ceramics(!)

What I could have done with a stake like that...and a deck of cards!

Hey, Pop!

-Do you know if they have a scratch sheet in there?

-Scratch sheet?

Well, er... Come on in. We'll look around.

Well... There doesn't seem to...

Maybe I can help you out.

-I just want to know the morning line on Mary O.

-Mary O? Around 3-1.

Fair filly. Running in the fifth.

In the money the last four times. She's up in class today. No chance.

-Oh, no chance, huh?

-No chance.

I'll try, anyway. I just like the name Mary.

-Can I use your phone?

-On the desk.

Oh, just a minute, son. If you want to bet, you can get down with me.

Yeah?

-So that's the kind of a joint this is.

-Oh, well. Not exactly.

-Mary O in the fifth.

-That's right.

-My name's Audrey.

-Larry Scott.

-Now, what do you want to bet on this filly?

-Two on the nose.

-Two on the nose.

-See you soon, Pop.

-Yeah.

Peanut gambler(!)

Two dollars to win(!)

Hey...two hundred!

Here! Wait...!

Two hundred.

Ah, no chance.

No chance!

RADIO: 'Here are the results of the fifth at Santa Anita.

'Won by Mary O from Flying Gold and Songman. Here are the mutuels.

'Mary O paid 6 to win. Flying Gold...'

Mary...!

Oh!

CLEARS THROAT

He's gone. He's left me.

-Who? Your husband?

-My grandfather.

You mean the old man who was in here?

How do you like that?

I guess he was afraid I'd put him to work. You see...he's a gambler!

He can't get far in half an hour. Come on. I've got a car outside.

He knows how I despise gambling.

For three months now, he's been reformed.

I knew something would happen.

It's my fault. I shouldn't have left him alone in the store.

It frightened him.

-Doesn't he have any money?

-I give him 3 a week.

Ouch!

He can't really help it. It's in his blood. Like insanity.

Poor old Gramp.

Now, take it easy. We'll find him.

Third house on the right.

Look down the street.

There's Gramp!

Oh, Gramp!

-You foolish old darling! How dare you walk out on me.

-Let me go. I'm no good to you.

Where to, Gramp?

-Why not let me talk to him?

-He's going back in the house with me.

-Come on, darling.

-No, let this fella talk to me.

-Go ahead. This is man-to-man stuff.

-But...

-I'll be in in a minute.

-I'll start fixing supper. Thanks so much.

-Not at all.

Isn't there a little...difference between us?

-Well, so I owe you 600.

-Were you going somewhere to get it?

-Maybe. Maybe I was.

-You phoney! You were blowing town.

If I was a younger man, I'd flatten you for that remark. You'll get yours!

Three bucks a week for four years.

If I'd a deck of cards and the 200, I could cut that down to four hours.

Oh, cards too, huh?

Don't say anything to the little girl. We can straighten this out.

OK. On one condition.

-Sure. Anything.

-Invite me to supper.

You'd blow 600 for a meal?!

Four hundred.

HAWAIIAN STYLE MUSIC PLAYS

-You're the only person who's had some influence over him.

-I've a way with old men and h... Little kids.

Don't tell me you haven't a little black book?

Ann Peters, Bonnie Jones,

Elmyra Mary

and Mary O.

-And you don't have a way with women?

-No.

You poor fellow(!) Here's your harem.

-Tear it up.

-I'd love to.

I'd love to have you. Go ahead.

-There.

-You know what this means, don't you?

Naturally.

Right. Let's stop hanging around saloons and go somewhere alone.

All right.

Waiter!

Check.

Keep it.

-Cigarettes, please.

-In the machine, lady.

-I don't care to risk it.

-Lady, you put your dough in and the cigarettes come out.

-How do I know?

-OK, lady, take mine! I'LL take a chance(!)

-Thank you.

You play it pretty safe, don't you?

And with good reason.

Everything in life is a gamble.

Now, you take that moon up there.

-For all we know, it might fall into the ocean.

-For all WE know.

An astronomer knows differently.

You're not trying to defend Gramp, are you?

I'm, uh, getting the impression you don't like gamblers.

I don't like parasites and that's what gamblers are.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't wish my family problem on you.

Goodness, I...

Yeah?

This is so...so...

Yeah.

-I hope you don't think that I...

-No.

Really, I...

I know.

Good night.

Good night, Mary.

Good night.

Good night.

Hi, Larry.

BUZZER

I open for three blues.

I'll play.

Call.

That's my bet.

-You been drinking?

-No.

A couple of things happened. Sudden Riches at Saratoga came in in a half mile at 8-1.

-Like you predicted. Did you get down?

-Uh-uh.

Tonight Burly Sullivan gets KO'd in the sixth round like we figured.

Pays off 2½-1.

Only we ain't got no action, because you're the invisible man!

I ain't boring you, am I?

Yeah.

-Say, Sam...

-Where you been, kid?

-Oh, I went out into the world.

-Pretty rough out there, ain't it?

How do we stand? Do I owe you?

Nope, I owe you. Four Gs. Need it?

-Well, I could use it.

-Get hurt?

Yeah. A little.

Here you are, kid.

-That's lucky money. Why don't you sit in for a minute?

-No, thanks.

Say, Sam...

what would a decent citizen do with this money?

I wouldn't know. I never met one.

How are the books, Eddie?

We're in good shape. Five grand in 'Frisco, five in Chicago, six around town. Why?

Well, we're closing out.

What do you mean, closing out?!

-I'm quitting this life.

-You mean you're gonna take the gas?!

-No.

I'm just through with gambling.

Night, boys.

I quit once. Stayed with her three weeks.

The chump's met some tomato!

3-1 he's back in a week. I'll take it for 500. >

Well, there he goes, out into the world all alone.

He won't be alone. With some tomato is worse.

Can I use your phone?

Can he use the phone(?)

Here.

Hello, Mary?

Did I wake you up?

You couldn't? I'm in bed, too. I couldn't sleep, either.

I, uh...I had to tell you. Ever since I left you, I've been thinking of doing something.

You're not going away?

Oh...

Of course I care.

Can't you tell me now?

It's hard to explain over the phone. I'd better be there.

You mean come over now? Could I?

I know it's pretty late, but I've got to get this off my chest.

OK.

I'm on my way...darling.

Darling.

Hello, Joe!

-Let me buy you a drink!

-Let ME buy YOU one. You're in a flat spin.

Not me! For the first time I really know where I'm going.

-Back room, boys! You, Scott, have a seat.

-But I gotta go...!

-Sit down!

Morning, Gramp.

-Good morning, Mary. You look a little piqued.

-I didn't sleep much.

Your new boyfriend didn't, either.

-If you don't mind, drop the subject.

-Was that him who telephoned you?

If you must know, yes.

Where from?

Suppose we just forget it, Gramp?

You should stand by him when he's in trouble.

Trouble?

Just what do you know?

Just what I read in the papers.

Gambler?

Maybe he was only kibbitzing.

Gambler(!)

A little game of poker and they call that gambling(!)

All of the book clubs recommend it very...

-I'll take it.

-Thank you.

-It's frightfully amusing.

-Never mind wrapping it.

-Mary...

-So you're out of jail.

-Would you mind leaving us alone?

-Do you mind if I get my change?!

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Here!

Good day!

I've nothing to say to you or your kind!

-I have to tell you...

-Tell the DA.

-I'm through with gambling!

-Where have I heard that before(?)

You never heard it from me!

-Don't shout.

-I called to tell you I would change my way of living.

-This isn't reform school.

-You know it's not that simple.

-I know all I need to know.

-I love you.

You'd never quit. You only think you can.

-You're not that sure.

-Oh, it's no use, Larry...

Will you marry me?

-I don't know what to do.

-Marry me.

Go away, please.

At least give me another chance.

Ohh...!

Bless you!

Oh! Come on in!

-Hello, Gramp.

-Hello.

-Still doping the ponies?

-Wanna know how much I've won in the last two years?

-Nope.

-Oh.

-How much?

-86,548!

-Well! How much did you lose?

Six dollars. That was cash.

-Lost your nerve when the chips were down?

-Want a sandwich?

-No, thanks. I'm waiting for Mary.

-How are you getting on?

-OK. As long as I behave.

-Same here.

She's a great girl. For a woman.

-Kinda bull-headed about some things.

-Like betting money?

-Yeah.

-It's her only weakness.

-PHONE RINGS

Yeah?

-Oh, it's for you.

-Mary?

-No.

-Hello?

Oh, hello, Eddie.

Larry, you gotta listen to me. You gotta!

We've only got an hour to post time.

But we've been waiting weeks for this one. This is our baby.

If you gotta quit, quit after it.

You can retire on this one, you said so yourself!

Well...what are the odds? Don't answer that!

No. No, forget it, Eddie.

8-1?!

Oh, terrific(!)

Um...

Hold the line, Eddie.

-Something good, huh?

-Good? The one thing you wait for all your life!

Hold on, Eddie! ..A sure thing, huh?

Five grand at 8-1. Oh, what a farewell clout!

-Lift the phone!

-I've had this on ice for weeks.

-What's the name of this four-legged cinch?

No, Gramp.

Why not? I haven't got any money.

Seven Eleven.

Seven Eleven? What a natural!

Here!

-Look, Eddie...

-Hello!

-Oh, hello, darling. ..Forget it!

-Sorry I'm late.

-No, you're...just in time.

-I'll get my bathing suit.

Swell.

Now's your chance. Call him back.

-You're making it very tough.

-40,000 for a phone call? Tough?!

She'll never know, will she?

No, but I will. Let's forget the whole thing, Gramp.

So another horse runs round a track.

Might as well go the whole hog.

-In four minutes I'll lose 40,000 all for you.

-You didn't make a bet?

That's right. I didn't make a bet.

Then I'm proud of you, too.

-A sure thing(?)

-A locked-in cinch.

-Ho-hum!

-You think not?

You better learn right now not to underrate me.

-A little filly named Seven Eleven will leave the post.

-Ho-hum.

She'll trail the pack in the first furlong.

-Helene will lead, Amtrak second, Transient Lady a length behind.

-Shades of Grandfather(!)

At the half, little Seven Eleven will move into position.

At the mile, Helene will need an oxygen tent. The suckers will groan.

Seven Eleven will move up fast on the outside and fight it out with an old-timer named Summarise...

and cross the wire going away. Seven Eleven first, Transient Lady second, Summarise third.

-And Helene, a tired fourth.

-What did she pay?

16.80 to win, 8.20 to place and 6.60 to show.

And that will cost me 40,000.

I can lend you 10.

-Wanna hear it again?

-Sure.

Now let's find out how much you've saved.

'All eyes on the starting gate. They're all in.

'And there they go!

'Helene to the front, Amtrak second, Transient Lady, then Bonnie Jones.

'Rub Of Green is fifth, Summarise is sixth and Seven Eleven trails.

-'Passing the stands, Helene in front, Amtrak is second, Transient Lady...'

-Where is Seven Eleven?

-Listen.

-'Helene in front by a half-length,

-'Amtrak is second, and Transient Lady. Seven Eleven is moving up...'

-Any second now.

'Helene is fading, Transient Lady takes the lead,

'Seven Eleven is coming up on the outside.'

'It's Summarise and Transient Lady...'

Go! Move, you little devil!

'And here comes Seven Eleven...'

Yippee!

'It's Seven Eleven by three lengths.

'At the wire, it's Seven Eleven!'

-Are you sure you didn't bet?

-Not a dime.

-That does it.

-How am I doing?

Stop the car.

Something wrong?

Plenty. Why are we going swimming

when we could go and get married?

He was such a sweet guy.

He had everything, that guy.

Looks, brains, education.

He was smart with it, too.

I can hardly believe he's gone.

Well, all men gotta go sometime.

Yeah, but I thought he was too smart for any tomato. I mean, lady.

Son, a man like that hasn't been created yet.

Have another drink of champagne.

He was all I had. I love the guy.

He made me what I am.

Well, one inning doesn't make a ballgame!

Do you think there's hope for him?

In Las Vegas?! There's always hope!

How would you like to play a couple of hands, huh?

-Hello, Slim. Get my wire?

-Yes, sir. Congratulations!

-Thank you.

-We have our best suite for you. It'll be ready in an hour.

-That's OK.

You can pass the time at the tables.

Eh...no, thanks. The tables have turned.

-Take care of that.

-Oh, by the way!

This is for you.

-5,000.

-Oh, yes. Thanks.

Not...Seven Eleven?

No, I closed my account in Chicago.

-Oh...

-Don't worry, darling. My character is improving by the hour.

-Well, what'll we do?

-I have to shop for some honeymoon lingerie.

-Want me to go along?

-No, I have to start trusting you.

-I'll test myself.

-All right.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

-I didn't mean THAT.

-Maybe my conscience bothered me.

-I just wanted to look at you again.

I won't see you for a whole hour!

-I'll miss you.

-I'll hurry.

-I'll be right here.

Bye, darling.

HUMS TO HIMSELF

-Telegram, Mr Scott.

-Oh, thank you.

Thank YOU, sir.

-Hi, kid.

-Sam! Hello!

You get down on Seven Eleven?

No, but I think a relative did.

What are you doing down here?

-I came here to get married.

-Well, ask a stupid question(!)

-I've taken a bride.

-The one who levelled you out?

-Yes.

This gal I gotta see.

This gal is really a gambler. Leaving you here is like leaving a baby with matches and a cigar.

You ought to try it, Sam. It's wonderful.

What kind of a life do you lead? Hotels, racetracks, greasy spoons.

-What kind of a life is that?

-What are you going to do?

-Work, I guess.

You'll get up around seven o'clock, sit in a little office all day,

then, a couple of nights when you're not too tired, you'll get to see a movie they make for guys like you.

-What kind of a life is THAT?

-Sam, you just never did like women.

What?! Didn't I stay with my mother until I was eleven years old?

-See you, kid.

-Where are you going?

Oh, you wouldn't be interested.

I'm going in that crummy gambling room to pick up a few filthy grand,

before going to my poverty-stricken suite, alone in my squalor.

Why don't you come in and watch me?

-Better not.

-Can't buck temptation?

-Don't be silly.

-You're always lucky for me. I'll give you 10%.

That's right. Easy come, easy go.

Ten... Ten! Ten!

Oh, please, ten!

Ten! Come on, ten! Ten!

-Hello, Joe.

-Scotty! Hiya!

-Hello, Judge. Happy!

-Didn't I just marry you?

-You did.

-Then why are you here?

Slumming.

How are they rolling? For me, cold. For him, they sing.

Ten... Ten!

He can make any point. And he's betting a dollar!

-Uh-oh.

-That's his fifth straight pass. And every time...a dollar.

We'll be in the poor house(!)

-Shoot a dollar!

-That's what I mean.

Seven!

The house is taking a beating. Already, seven bucks(!)

-Pardon me, are you from a state institution?

-No, I work in a toy factory. Seven!

Seven!

-Pitiful.

-Shoot another dollar!

-Wait.

-Why don't you double?

-How do you mean?

-You can't make money unless you bet correctly.

-I'm 13 ahead! Think I ought to quit?

-Yeah, but you won't.

-I'm hotter than a Bunsen burner!

All right, wait a minute.

-I can't stand this. How much have you got there?

-82.

-OK, shoot 20.

-All at once?!

-Go ahead. Shoot it!

Well, I don't know. It's a mad night! All right...

WHISTLES

-Let them go!

-I can't. I...

-He's froze!

-Go on, fly them!

Two. A loser.

-Oh, me!

-The burner went out.

-It's OK, keep going. Shoot 40.

40?! I work all week for 40!

-How can a guy do that?! It ain't human.

-Come on, let loose.

Now, shoot your best throw.

Three. You lose.

-Ruined! Ruined! Another whole week working for nothing!

-Let's shoot the works.

-No, no!

All right. You keep two. Twenty. Now, shoot!

Twelve. That's a bad one.

I was so happy, then you came along.

-Wait!

-Punch me on the nose! It don't matter any more!

Will you shut up and stand there?

I'll get your money back for you.

-Give me 80, Sam.

-Don't trust him! They hire men like him!

-Shut up!

Hold it, hold it! I want to go along.

-Yeah, me, too.

-Before they cool off.

All set? Coming out.

-Sit down, baby.

-Three. You lose.

This is getting monotonous. Give me a few hundred. It may take a while.

-Come on. This can't keep up all night.

-Here they come!

-That's a bad one.

-It's all over!

Quiet, you mouse! He's getting your cheese back.

Twenty down. Here they come.

-Is the suite ready?

-Yes, Mrs Scott.

-Has Mr Scott gone up yet?

-No, I believe he stepped into the salon.

-The gambling room?

-I believe so.

-Will you keep these here?

-Surely.

Two. You lose.

Let me have some more money, Sam.

You fool! You awful fool!

I'm sorry. I never got any education.

-I didn't mean you. Sherry, please.

-Yes, ma'am.

-Do you have a phone?

-Yes, ma'am.

Give me the desk.

This is Mrs Larry Scott, I'm sorry to say. Would you arrange for another room?

I don't care what it is. For me.

And please don't give the room number to anyone called Mr Scott.

Thank you.

-Pardon me. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation.

-That's no excuse to start another.

-Morgan. I'm a lawyer. Have you heard of me?

-Do I look like a criminal?

I happen to know Mr Scott. I'm a divorce lawyer.

Oh. Then you know we were married only this evening.

They say a dream only lasts five seconds.

Well...I want to wake up.

Then you want a divorce?

As soon as humanly possible.

Well, we might set some sort of a record here.

-Would you like to discuss it?

-Yes.

Yes, I certainly would!

Sixty days coming up!

-Six! A winner!

-I knew it!

Quiet. This game isn't beaten by hysteria. ..A natural this time.

-Come on, baby.

-Seven. A winner.

-Shoot the works!

-Look who's yapping now!

Two dollars.

Come on out.

Eleven. A winner. >

OK, there's yours, Sam.

Here's yours, Bunsen. 20, 40, 60, 80.

-You ain't quitting?!

-I am. I just wanted this little chump's money.

I never worked so hard for eighty stinking fish! Hey, my honeymoon!

Shoot it all! One more pass.

So that's all the good it did you? Good night, gentlemen.

Well, I have now seen everything.

I don't get it, right in the middle of a streak.

I think that guy is really cured.

-Shoot 80!

-No, not my money!

Mary?

Mary?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Wait a minute!

Wait! I have to carry you across...

Are you Lawrence Scott?

-Yeah.

-For you.

-Me?

-That's right, sweetheart(!)

-Huh.

What...?

-For a new bridegroom, you certainly get around!

-Look!

-Uh-huh.

-Well, you don't seem very surprised.

I didn't expect it to last forever.

I've been married four hours!

-What happened?

-Nothing! I haven't even seen her!

-There's one answer - she saw you.

Ah...that's it! She saw me at the dice and thought I was gambling!

Just because you had money on the table and were throwing dice? Silly!

-I had to get that little chump out. You know that, Sam.

-But I am not applying for a divorce.

-She'll understand. Give me the desk.

-Sure, sure.

Slim, where's my wife? ..Oh, good.

What room? What's the number?

What do you mean, you can't tell me?!

-All right, Slim. How much?

-Well... that would hardly be ethical.

However, our only vacancy was Room 316.

-Yes?

-Mary?

Mary?

The only thing I have to say to you was delivered tonight!

Open this door! Do you hear me?

Honey, open the door. This is our wedding night.

Go away!

It's all so simple. You thought I was gambling. That's ridiculous.

I was just trying to get eighty bucks back for a poor little guy.

You wouldn't want a little factory worker to get stuck for his cash.

-If not for me, he wouldn't have gotten in a jam.

-Neither would I!

-I was just doing the little fella a favour!

-Do ME one, bud.

Break into that room or get out of this hallway.

Mary?

Mary? We can't start our married life with a divorce, can we?

I love you, Mary. I didn't do anything wrong, darling.

Please, open the door.

Well! You left too soon! Hey, look at this money.

And I owe it all to your advice. I was never so hot in my life!

You cooler now?

He's been pacing for an hour.

It seems incredible.

They were so young and gay and blithe. Oh, it saddens me.

But it don't affect your appetite.

In many years, I've learned not to confuse my heart with my stomach.

Oh, Mary. Mary, darling...

If I appear rather intimate, think nothing of it.

If I appear to reciprocate, give it some thought.

Good morning! Good morning!

-Well, he got the papers.

-Yes, I did.

After our swim, let's play golf.

-Mary...

-You don't have to answer this man.

-Go ahead. Do you want to say something?

-Not in front of his big ear!

-What would you call that?

-Mental cruelty.

Mary, listen to my side of it!

-Bet she lets him stay!

-She don't.

-Once, a dame cost me 20 pounds.

-English dough?

-No, weight off my...

She was kind of cute, though.

-He used to play it cool.

-Now he gibbers like a halfwit.

-You're being unreasonable!

-It makes sense to me.

-We can't go on like this.

We're not. Here, incidentally, is your money.

I gave Mr Morgan 1,000 down and there was 14.95 for a nightgown,

but you didn't see it, so there's no reason you should pay for that.

Fifteen. You owe me a nickel.

-This is ridiculous!

-It certainly was. Here.

-You keep it. I believe in paying people for their trouble.

-What would you advise?

-Oh, keep it.

-I ought to give you something, too.

-I'll get mine.

-Why not now?

He still loves you.

Come on. Give with the sawbuck.

A guy should never bet against a dame!

It seems to me that such antipathy against games of chance is most unusual.

-What's her history?

-She runs a bookstore.

-She runs a book?!

-Reading books.

So she's never experienced gambling, the thrill, the fascination.

She probably comes from a long line of tillers of the soil.

That's a gamble. A cyclone could blow down your potato trees!

The potato does not grow on a tree! All right, a bush!

-There's the spirit of gambling in everybody.

-She gambled on a bookstore.

We have to bring the spirit out. Happy, bring Morgan over here.

-What's the idea?

-Doing something for a pal.

OK!

I hope he's bow-legged!

Here's the scam. We want her to win some money. Maybe 500-600.

We'll have a roulette table.

- Who sees to it that I don't lose? - We do. Me and the lads. If you lose, we'll make it good.

Where do I fit in? You furnish the romance.

Romance her into gambling. Start with golf, a penny a pin.

Arouse the spirit of wagering. Stop slugging that deck!

But if I reconcile these two lovers, I lose a divorce case.

So we're offering you 1,000 more than you get from her.

Why didn't you say so? Look.

Now, is that a hard way to earn an extra grand?

I guess I'd better go to work.

I just saw that cowardly trick and it wasn't very cute, Mr Scott.

-I'm trying to get you alone to talk.

-I must apologise for him, Danny.

Danny?! So that's how it is!

-You have a reputation for being a good loser. Try to live up to it.

-Yes, do try, darling(!)

Good shot. Now, all you have to do is sink that little putt for a par.

-I'll sink it.

-Bet you 1 you miss.

-I never bet.

-Neither do I, but I hate to have a girl beat me.

-Trying to rattle me?

Sure. I think you can make the putt, but I don't think you can for 1.

What would 1 have to do with it?

-Pressure.

-Pressure? That's ridiculous. Watch.

-I can't understand it.

-Pressure.

Keep it. You didn't accept the bet.

I must have taken the bet mentally to miss a silly putt like that.

Well, OK.

She's paying off. How smooth that guy works! He's wonderful with dames.

Hey! What a shot! Not bad for the first time out.

Not bad at all. Now why not try it with a club?

You seem very sad for a lady who's found a new love.

It's nice of you to play along, Dan.

Maybe I'm playing for keeps.

-Don't kid me, Dan.

-I'm not kidding.

You aren't?

Do you mind?

-Well, I...I hadn't thought about it that way.

-I warned you to. Remember?

Yes.

I remember.

Well? What do you think?

Well, I...

I don't know. I...

Before you give it too much thought, I'd better come clean.

-That little bet I inveigled you into, that was a come-on.

-A come-on?

-The idea was to get you to go for bigger bets.

-Whose idea?

-Sam and the boys.

-Larry, too?

-Obviously. He wasn't there, but he was to underwrite the five hundred.

-What five hundred?

-Five hundred you are going to win.

That's very cute.

Very funny. So he's going to make a gambler out of me?

MARY LAUGHS

Idiot!

-Oh, not you.

-Would you mind passing the pretzels?

-The pretzels, remember?

-Hm?

Oh, yes. Pretzels.

-Is it really that funny?

-Oh, you're a card!

Don't go, please! I'm not crazy. I'm trying to make my wife jealous.

Would you mind laughing?

-At you or with you?

-Any way. Just laugh, please.

You're wonderful!

You kill me!

If she don't, brother, I will. On your feet, Mabel.

If you're going to be around, maybe WE can have some laughs.

Looks like he's blind drunk.

Well, Danny, let's go win that 500.

Then we quit and leave our suckers out on a limb. Is that the idea?

Exactly!

Uh-oh! Look who's coming.

So soon!

She's to win on every move.

But don't throw away more than 500!

-Oh, how do you do?

-Hello, Judge.

-Sit here.

Let me have a stack of whites.

You play a little. I'll watch.

All right. I'll, um, I'll play odd.

-Don't watch the wheel. It's unlucky.

-Oh.

-Watch the board.

-21. Red and odd.

-Odd. You won.

That's right. I'll play it again.

Five. Red and odd.

-See how simple it is? It requires no brains at all.

-I think I'll try.

OK.

I'll play the black.

Gotta go along.

-Eight. Black and even.

-We won again.

Well, what do you know?

-Now what'll we play?

-Let's play even.

-Even?

-No, let's play the odd.

-I've got to go along.

Seven. Red and odd.

You know, you're very lucky.

I'm just ignorant, like the little guy.

Learns quick, don't she? She won't need any help!

How goes it, kid?

Oh, Benny, grape juice.

Well, I've been thinking it over, Sam. Mary's right.

I can't blame her. After all, I was gambling.

What are you gonna do?

Go to Los Angeles, I guess, and get a respectable job. It's the only way to prove I'm on the level.

She might see it your way.

Not Mary. I wouldn't want her to change.

-Huh?

-I'm going to raise myself up instead of pulling her down.

Change that to straight whisky. Hard liquor, Sam? I'm being driven to it.

That's the way it's gonna be. I'll tell Mary when I find her alone.

-That'll be quite a while yet.

-Why?

-She's gambling at the roulette wheel.

-Don't, Sam. I'm too unhappy.

-So am I.

Mary? My wife, gambling?!

Playing black and winning. Look.

Put it on the tab, Benny.

-Seven. Red and odd.

-Let it ride?

-Sure you don't want to drag?

-No.

-Easy, darling, we have a limit.

-Play for the fun of it.

-Get hold of yourself!

It's so fascinating. And watching the wheel is lucky.

I give up.

Twenty-seven. Red and odd. >

See? What did I tell you?

-Oh. Hello, darling. Look what I've won.

-Go to your room.

-I said go to your room!

-Quit when I'm winning?

-Right now!

I'm beginning to see what you mean about gambling. I love it! We'll do wonderfully.

Are you drunk or gone crazy?!

-Why, I...

-Do you want to be carried out or walk?

-Well!

I'm serious. I won't let my wife make a fool of herself at roulette.

I'll bet a thousand on the black.

-I'm telling you, cash in.

-Wait, Scott. I've got half of her action.

Yeah? Well, have part of mine.

26. Black and even. This is murder!

This is very confusing.

So what does this prove?

It proves that we're idiots!

Bet a thousand on the odd.

Well, gentlemen, you were to cover a certain young lady's winnings.

You thought it might be a few hundred dollars. Well, bad luck.

How much? So far, 30,000.

Why, of course. Why not?

Take another 10,000. It doesn't matter.

What are you doing to us?!

Believe it or not, she's winning on the up and up.

The boys are covering for us.

I hope she sticks there!

Mark Antony, you've met your Cleopatra.

Know what I remind myself of? Frankenstein.

I have made myself a monster.

- Ace and two sixes! - Boy, is she lucky!

Six. Black and even.

She'll break the place!

Seven. A winner.

Good afternoon. How do you do?

What do you think about Forever Amber? What track?

Where's it been running?

The Metropolitan. The what?!

Here. My name is Field. Let me know when it comes in.

Want it on the nose? Don't dare strike me!

That man's a stark-staring lunatic!

-Fine way to treat a customer(!)

-There ain't no such horse!

-Say, what's going on around here?

-We've got a sweet set-up. Come on.

Hey, where's your dame? Wife.

Let's just go on back.

What is it, son? Oh!

You...you back?

Yeah. Unexpectedly.

-Where's Mary? Is she here, too?

-No.

Oh, well. I'm glad of that.

I thought I'd have a few of the boys in while she was gone.

A fella gets kind of lonely.

Well, there's no harm in picking up a few dollars, is there?

Yeah. Maybe you're right.

Well, boys, I'm sorry. The book's closed.

-I, uh, I didn't expect you so soon.

-I can see that.

Son, I'm an old leopard and not going to change my spots,

-so let's not have any conversation about that.

-That's not what's worrying me.

-For a fella who just got married, you don't look happy.

-How do I look for a man who just got divorced?

-Say that again.

-Yes, I need to hear it once more.

I was married at 7, divorced at 11.

There's only one answer to that - she caught you red-handed.

Right in the middle of a pass.

I see. Where is she now?

-She's up there.

-What's she doing?

The last time I saw her, she was betting a thousand on black.

Eh, let's... let's take this a little slower.

-The night before that, she made a pass for five grand.

-She wins and you don't like it?

-I'd rather see her dead.

-I thought I'd heard everything, then this...!

Let's go get a beer. I can't think good with a clear head.

Well, that's the way it goes.

Sometimes it doesn't crop up for years, then suddenly it gets them.

You can't always tell what did it.

Take Chauncey here, around the turn of the century. A dull fella.

-Worked for 40 years at his trade, cashier in a bank.

-Yeah.

Went to a church bazaar once, won a turkey in a raffle. That did it.

-What?

-He took his life savings, 25,000, and bet it against a palooka named Jim Jeffries.

The rest is history.

-Cleaned him out.

-Yeah.

Then he tried to clean the bank out.

Several years later, he passed away in an institution named Sing Sing.

I'm beginning to see what you mean.

A very interesting family. Chauncey is the only one who did time.

-You can't imagine how picky I feel.

-You just haven't got the background.

-If it hadn't been for me, this wouldn't have happened to Mary.

-She has a lot to thank you for!

-Now that I understand a few things, I better take a trip.

-Las Vegas?

-Yep.

-Las Vegas!

-Mary, you and I will cut that town up three ways!

-No, you stay here.

-I'm going to get her out of there.

-Why?

Because the Scotts aren't going to begin the way the Audreys end.

-Come on, Eddie.

-Where to, Boss?

-Las Vegas. So long, Gramp.

Old bluenose!

-Hey, Eddie!

-OK, OK.

-Come on, we're here. Park the car.

-What a dream! 22 straight passes.

-That was no dream, that was my wife! See you inside.

Slim, is my wife in the same room?

No, she occupies the suite Sam had.

-What happened to Sam?

-He tried the dice against your wife.

-What about you?

-I bet against the 16th pass, but I'd do it again!

KNOCK AT DOOR

Come in.

Well, darling, hello.

Hello, Mary.

For me? They're lovely.

So are you.

-Are you over your mad?

-I can get over anything, darling. Except you.

I'm so glad. We've both been foolish.

It's all my fault, honey. I...I just didn't understand.

First I didn't understand you,

then you didn't understand me.

I'd never have walked out on you if I'd known.

Let's both understand each other. Shall we?

WHISTLING

Who's that?

I'm afraid you'll be surprised.

You see... Well, after you left...

That guy?!

-What do you mean "that guy"?

-I may be one kind of a fool, but not two!

-You think...?

-What do you mean? That's no tea kettle!

-Why, you...!

-I thought I could help you!

-Me?!

-And what do I find?

-You have the audacity to suggest...

-The situation is very clear!

-Get out!

When you go, you really spread yourself, don't you?

Get out! Do you hear me? Get out!

With pleasure, I assure you.

Ah, well, I feel much better. Got my ground legs under me again.

Planes are not for my generation.

What...? What's the matter?

-Oh, Gramp!

-Why, dear.

Well, I got the grips upstairs.

-Bring them down.

-I just took them up!

-Get the car. We're leaving.

OK! But what did we come for?

The ride. And what a ride!

-Can I put the bite on you for a cup of coffee?

-Hello, Sam.

-Where are you living now?

-I've got a cot in the basement.

You look weird. What are you doing?

Caddying.

I'd one round yesterday.

-Four hours, and what do I get for a tip?

-Are you serious?

-25 cents.

So you let her clean you out, too?

Sam, I'm ashamed of you.

Well, this reminds me of my youth.

I started out with three dollars and six bits. That's what I've got now.

-Ah, you've lost nothing but money.

-I've still got my health(!)

-How are the other boys?

-Little Joe had a nervous breakdown.

-I can hardly believe it!

I can. Have you talked to her?

-Yeah.

-Then you know about her new club?

-Club?

-Yeah.

She cleaned out a joint and took it over. It's real chummy now.

-Calls it the Sky's The Limit. And it is.

-No!

You can play for anything you bring.

-I've been thinking.

-Yeah?

-She's been very lucky.

-So it seems.

I'd like to play her a game where the luck is reduced to a minimum.

Poker?

I hear she's bringing in a pro. I'd like to try him for size.

Well, I guess I owe you this, Sam.

A man's responsible for his wife's debts. He should do winnings, too.

-This'll pay off, kid.

-Whatever you make, keep. Money isn't important.

Pardon me.

Good morning.

-If I were a man, I'd punch your nose.

-You call yourself a lady(?)

Thank you(!) You've broken my heart, why not my nose?

What was that one for?

FAMILIAR WHISTLING

Do them fine, girlie. I want a razor edge. I'm playing cards.

Well, hello, son. How are you?

-How did you get here?

-Airship. Been here four hours. But my stomach just got in!

-Then YOU were up there? I mean, in Mary's room?

-I just came down.

-Ohhh...!

-She's my granddaughter, isn't she?

Oh, what a chump I am!

Well, I can't argue with you there.

-How could I have known?

-You should have known it was nobody else!

-Yeah, yeah.

-You broke the 11th Commandment - never accuse a woman of your own imagination.

-Isn't that true?

-You said it, Pop.

-Well, that washes me, but good and forever.

-Oh, not necessarily.

Come to the Sky's The Limit tonight. Maybe I can fix it up.

-Would you, Gramp?

-You did a favour for me once.

-That's right.

Leave it to me.

Ahh! Very nice! Very nice!

That's the guy.

Hiya, pal!

-What guy, son?

-The chump! The Bunsen burner!

You don't make much sense.

-I was trying to get him out of a hole.

-And you sure did, pal!

-Anything else, sir?

-Shoot the works! Gimme everything!

Oh, boy! What a life, what a life!

What a guy(!)

-What goes with you up here?

-I'm the poker man at Mary's club. Drop by.

-No, thanks. We're just dropping out. The bags are loaded.

-Bring 'em back.

-That's what he said, isn't it? Bring in the bags?

-That's what he said.

I just like to check those things.

Good evening, sir. I'll park the car.

JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

31. Black.

Well, sir, if that doesn't win, I'll be glad to pay off.

-Glad to get it, son.

-Let's play roulette, where you have a chance.

He's always just a little bit better(!)

-Hello, Gramp.

-Hello, son.

-Did you talk to her?

-Yes...I did, but she didn't listen too good.

Well, that washes me. All I can do now is apologise and say goodbye.

Don't just say it, son. Kiss her goodbye.

-So long. And thanks.

-Good luck.

You play the poker for the house?

-I try my best.

-What's the limit?

-In the back room, you can see the sky.

-Let's take a look.

Sure.

-Sam's gotten a stake someplace.

-He won't keep it very long.

-I've heard he's the best card player in the country.

-Gramp's unbeatable.

-Mary...

-Well, hello! How do you like my little den?

-Yeah(!)

-Would you like to try your luck? You used to be very lucky.

-In fact, you used to be a dashing and attractive character.

-Mary...

You'd bet a grand on a horse, just because you liked the name.

Can I see you alone for a minute?

Why not?

You'll pardon us?

I, uh... I'm leaving town.

Really?

I was wrong. I'm sorry for what I said, but, uh...

before I go, there's one question.

-Does Morgan mean anything to you?

-He's never insulted me.

-When he even speaks to a lady, it's an insult.

-I'm no lady, remember?

Don't rub it in, Mary.

Goodbye, Larry.

What's that?

That's just plain milk and a nerve pill.

In an hour or so, Sam will be the legitimate owner of this fantastic establishment.

We'll be on the gravy train! Who's this pro playing Sam?

What difference could it make? Right. Nobody can take Sam with a deck of cards.

Can they? Not a chance.

Who's Sam playing? Oh, some character. Some bush league hustler.

White hair and moustache? Yeah.

- Yeah. Know him? - That's her grandpappy.

An amateur! Not even a pro, eh?

Oh, he knows cards. Give me a bottle of beer!

This is pitiful. It's like having a licence to steal.

Are you in on this? For almost everything!

Like to bet any more? You blowing your cork?!

Cover that. You're backing the old man?

Oh, just sentimental reasons.

Just senti...? Eddie, my lad, you've got a bet.

Wait a minute.

-Any luck, Boss?

-No. No luck.

Tough, kid.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

Stick around. Spring for a drink.

Oh, OK. What's all the loot?

This chump bet against Sam.

-Should I tell them?

-They wouldn't believe it.

-< What'll it be?

And one to the dealer.

Try you for a thousand.

I'll raise you five thousand.

I gotta see you.

Sometimes I forget how this game goes.

A flush is higher than a straight?

-That's right, but you don't forget.

-That's what I got.

-Straight?

Flush. All green. What have you got?

Straight.

My mother always said, "You can't win playing cards, but you can't lose anything by cutting them."

-I dropped in to say goodbye, Sam.

-Leaving?

Yeah, I'm leaving right away.

He's always leaving!

-I'll miss you, kid.

-It's nice to know that YOU will.

-Goodbye, Gramp.

-Goodbye again, son.

Goodbye now.

And you! What do you expect a man to do? I've apologised, crawled...

I'll give you 90 seconds to decide. I'll be in the bar.

Just 90 seconds!

-Maybe we'd better synchronise our watches.

-You made a mistake.

He wasn't shooting for himself that night. He was helping a little chump.

-It doesn't matter now.

-Don't it?

No.

Too many things have happened.

I open for five hundred.

Up five.

That's what I like about your style. You bet like it was only money.

-How many?

-Three.

Give me a straight whisky.

-How's the action?

-About even.

The old goat's holding up?! Sam's giving him a ride.

It ain't possible, is it? Strip Sam? Rubbish!

Thirty seconds.

-Got the car out?

-Yep.

-Bags packed?

-Yep.

-Good. Where's my drink?

-Right there... I know I poured one.

-Give me another one.

-Yes, sir.

Who taught you this game?

That's like asking who taught Beethoven to write symphonies or Einstein the Theory of Relativity.

-Rate yourself that high?

-Only with a deck of cards.

Open for a thousand.

Two.

How many?

One.

-Miss Audrey, there's more to this than just a game of poker.

-Why?

It all began with a mistake I made. Every once in a while, I get too smart.

One to the dealer.

Bet five thousand.

I'll raise you five thousand.

Five more.

-I can tell you, now that it doesn't matter. I tried to frame you.

-I know.

-Danny told me.

-He did, huh?

-Larry put you up to it, of course.

-Danny tell you that, too?

-He did.

-Nobody ever tells me anything!

Danny false-carded you. Scott had nothing to do with it.

It was all my idea.

-I figured you'd get gambling in your blood, like Scott had it in his.

-Once again, how's YOUR blood?

Like my money - it just keeps circulating. Again.

One more time.

But I rated you wrong.

I didn't think you'd be as big a sucker.

-Or that you'd trade in a guy that good for a couple of bucks or a couple of million.

-But he...

He played it straight ever since he knew you, but you dogged him.

You came up empty.

Five more, chum.

-I didn't know...

-No, you didn't.

You made a snap decision on a guy who loves you.

Other thing you don't know is you're not playing me.

I've got no action going on this game.

This dough is Scott's.

Larry's? Why?

It's another bright idea I had.

If I break you, maybe you'll come down to earth.

If I don't, he'll be cleaned out.

He'll get out of town. And that'll be good, too, because he'll sweat it out somewhere

without you to turn the knife. Calling or...?

I'll tap you.

Audrey, I like your style.

-What have you got?

-Eights. A pair.

That's it.

You call a bluff too good.

I'm sorry, dear.

I couldn't bear to watch it.

I can't understand it. Betting 5,000 on a pair of eights.

What was the old man holding? I... I don't know.

He was holding your breath.

Hey...

-What'll it be, sir?

-Beer.

But it'll have to be on the cuff.

On the cuff! Did you hear what he said?! Oh, brother!

You couldn't beat a pair of eights?!

-I didn't.

-So he bluffed you, huh?

There was one thing I was sure of - I was sure you wouldn't dog it.

Thank you.

Well, I'm broke. The place is yours.

That's the way it goes.

It was a good story, anyway.

Very expensive.

The truth is always very expensive.

-But it looks good and wears a long time.

-I'm glad I lost.

I'm cleaned and I'm glad.

-Now I know it.

-Don't tell me. Find that guy out there and tell him.

If I ever get in a poker game again, I want you on my side, Sam.

-I don't know about that.

-I do.

I like the way you call a bluff.

Thirty seconds more.

Stick around, son. If she doesn't marry you now, I will!

You ought to have your noggin examined for backing him.

This joint's not on the level! It's a crooked joint run by a crooked dame!

What's the matter? Lose four bits?

Rob is a better word, laughing boy.

-And Audrey always plays it straight! Any argument?

-No dissenting opinion.

Gamblers rob me, young guys laugh, an old guy hits me with a bottle! I've gotta get out of this town!

No, let him recline, Happy. Go get his wife.

If this doesn't make her heart bleed, there's no hope for a reconciliation.

Maybe a little soft music might help.

Well, well! Did he pass out or did someone do me a great big favour?

He was defending your honour.

-Why, you... You brute!

-That does it!

Hey-hey.

I wouldn't take it too hard, sir. Perhaps your losing had some influence on her decision.

Sam! Oh, Sam, are you a player!

Playing poker with you is like taking poison!

Oh, he isn't bad for an amateur.

Amateur(!) He takes 100 grand with a pair of eights!

Mind if I show them what I beat?

It doesn't matter.

Boys, take a gander at this.

< Ace full!

Well! This is the greatest sacrifice I have ever witnessed!

Whadya know? What a man!

Boys, meet the champ.

ALL: The champ!

-Let's go home and have our honeymoon.

-First, tell me...

-Anything - after the honeymoon.

That's good enough for me.

Oh, wait a minute. I still have some gambling money.

-OK, let's go out the way we got in. Give.

-What'll we do with it?

An amateur play for the house.

Double 0. This is like throwing it in the fire. Let's not even watch.

-Gramp, have our bet.

-Thanks, darling.

-For what?

-Four-flusher!

-So long, Gramp.

-So long.

It's something, ain't it?

-What?

-Love.

Yeah, but they've got what every great gambler's got to have - that sixth sense.

One in a million, that chump.

Double 0.

What a stake for a poker game!

-This isn't a bad game, either.

-Your game's poker.

Will you trust me? This is purely a matter for that sixth sense.

You and your sixth sense!

-Hop in, men!

-On your way, you mouse!

-Kinda choosy, aren't you?

-That's the little guy that started all the beef!

Son, there's a moral to this,

but I'm not ever going to learn it.