Maureen Lipman Holding Back the Years

For the first time in Britain

there are more people over the age of 60 than under 16.

You are 83.

100 years on this earth.

You've got some amazing volunteers in their 80s and 90s.

But what does growing older mean to you?

Difficult, sometimes more than other times.

I don't think you should be nervous about getting old.

-Yeah.

-It's a wonderful state.

Our team is getting to the bottom

of the key ageing concerns that you've told us about.

Deciding when to retire.

Being more sociable.

Keeping healthy.

Making your voice heard.

Or the cost of happiness.

And even if you haven't yet reached your golden years,

it's never too early to start planning.

So, whether you're an old dog or a young pup,

get ready to learn some new tricks

as we lift the lid on holding back the years.

Today more than 3.6 million people aged over 65 live on their own,

which means getting out and about is essential

if you're to meet people and stay social.

But it's not always easy.

That's why in this episode I want to show you how it can be done

by meeting those Brits who are refusing

to be left on life's platform,

'whether that is by volunteering...'

We've got two tins of baked beans.

Don't eat them all at once because you know what will happen.

'..learning a new skill...'

..le Petit Chapeau Rouge.

Oh, I'm sorry, I've got to do that again.

Retake, please. Make-up!

'..or even just hanging out with the boys.'

I am a Lipman in the shed. Ooh.

So, grab your coats,

because you're about to come on a grand day out with me.

Come on, keep me company.

Thank you.

But first, let me tell you why this subject means so much to me.

I was married for over 30 years

to the playwright Jack Rosenthal

when, 13 years ago, I lost him to myeloma

and found myself in a new country

where I really didn't know the rules,

and my future suddenly didn't look so certain.

It was tempting to close the door on the world

and retreat into isolation,

but for me the answer to staying social was work,

and I'm lucky to be in a business where I can meet new people

with every new job,

but I'm aware this isn't an option for most people.

I'm very aware that my life experience is not anybody else's.

I've had a very lucky life on the whole.

I want to find out what people of my generation,

baby boomers and before, do to stay connected, to stay sociable,

to keep their lives moving on.

And what better place to find out

than in my home city of Kingston upon Hull,

where they call a spade...

a shovel.

Loneliness in old age has always been known as the hidden killer,

with lack of social interaction strongly linked to depression,

malnutrition and even Alzheimer's disease,

and it's always been with us.

I get lonely, very lonely.

I've got lonely ever since my husband died, really.

We used to have neighbours coming in for a drink, you know.

How long is it since you had a neighbour come in for a drink now?

Oh, they don't come in now.

At the weekend, for example, does anyone come to see you?

No.

But if you're thinking it's a rare phenomenon these days,

then think again.

Estimates say that as many as 10% of Britain's elderly

experience extreme loneliness,

but I'm here to show you that it doesn't have to be that way.

Now, don't laugh, but the first stop I'm taking you on our grand day out

is a place that provides an invaluable service for older people

who want to get out of the house and have a bit of company -

the Darby and Joan club, which has been around for a while.

-NEWSREEL:

-The grand old people of Streatham,

the old-age pensioners of the district,

have been provided with a snug little refuge all their own

with the opening of the Darby and Joan club,

believed to be the first of its kind in Great Britain.

Today, these clubs are run

by Her Majesty's Royal Voluntary Service,

helping over 100,000 people a month to have a lovely time.

But here's the twist, the volunteers are almost as old, if not older,

than those they serve.

So I'm meeting a few of them,

like 81-year-old Jennifer, who's in charge.

She's been a volunteer for an incredible 39 years.

Well, I get a lot of pleasure from meeting all the people

and I also find it really structures my week.

-Yes.

-The Friday.

Yes, it gives me a purpose in life, yes.

I notice, of course, that the ratio of women to men is a bit staggering.

-Yes.

-I've counted six men so far.

-Yes.

-Do they get mobbed?

No.

We have in the past had some marriages from here.

-Have you?

-Yes, but not for quite some time.

Well, actually, little Gladys, who is 100,

she married somebody from here.

-Really?

-Yes.

-A second marriage?

-Third, it was, for her.

Ooh. Gladys.

Well, she's got something that's kept her going for 100 years.

Dorothy, meanwhile, has been here even longer.

Dorothy, I know that you're just over 90.

-Yes.

-And that you've been here for how long?

-40 years.

-In a way, it's a panacea.

It is a sort of a therapy, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Yes, well, you realise that you may have problems,

but they're not nearly as bad as a lot of the people that come here.

And Joyce even longer still.

May I ask how old you are?

I'm 92.

So a lot of people might think,

"She should be sitting there having her dinner brought to her,"

but you're doing the work.

But these three are only the tip of a very big iceberg.

At last count, the Royal Voluntary Service boasted

over 35,000 volunteers dedicated to helping senior citizens

remain independent while staying social.

And whether it's visiting them in hospital,

going down the shops or popping around for a cuppa,

every year they make some 90,000 journeys

on behalf of Britain's elderly.

But, get this - it benefits them too,

because there is evidence to suggest that volunteering

is good for your own health,

as the Royal Voluntary Service's national boss is keen to stress.

I mean, you've got some amazing volunteers who today,

but, like, 80s and 90s, you think, "They should be sitting down",

but they're not. They are serving others.

Well, they're not, but, see, I'm not sure I agree

that the answer is young volunteers,

because for me the people who are in their 70s and 80s and 90s

that are coming here and volunteering,

that's as important as those people who are being served lunch

by our volunteers, because there is very, very clear evidence

from a professor in Manchester that being a volunteer

helps you live longer, be physically better

and mentally better.

SONG: Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans

There is something of a wartime spirit about this place,

and that's no real surprise given its history.

The Royal Voluntary Service started off as the Women's Voluntary Service

back in 1938 and it was part of keeping the home front going.

Their first line of defence, a good cup of tea.

Wherever men work over here, it's tea they want.

The WVS brings the tea to them.

Next to blood, it's Britain's most precious liquid.

Over the years, they have evolved into an organisation

that helps older people stay in touch with the wider society,

especially through its pioneering Meals On Wheels service.

There is a private as well as a public conscience

about old people who live alone.

For the few the short-handed Meals On Wheels volunteers can visit,

the brief company of someone they know

and a meal ready to eat are a double godsend.

Today, using food as their way into people's lives

is a philosophy that David believes

is still at the heart of their mission.

About five years ago we started the campaign to end loneliness,

because it's a kind of hidden disease.

We know there are very clear medical stats that say chronic loneliness

is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

And that sounds slightly strange,

but if you think about it, we're sociable people.

We are programmed to be with others.

There's a lot of talk at the moment about the NHS and social care

and funding, but the reality is most older people don't need nurses,

they don't need social workers, they don't need care homes,

they need somebody to talk to,

they need a reason to get out of the house in the morning.

OK, well, I think it's time I stopped chatting and got serving.

Who knows, it might take a few years off me as well!

My name is Maureen and I'm really happy to serve you.

-Oh, lovely.

-And...

INAUDIBLE

Yes, you are. Have a nice day.

'At last it's time for me to take the weight off my feet

'and have a natter, which is the real reason for being here.'

So, come on, gang, tell me,

what do you get out of coming here every Friday?

It means it's somewhere I can bring my wife out to,

because I'm more concerned about her mixing with people.

Right, which one of these gorgeous women is your wife?

-Sat at the next table.

-Oh, is she?

So you want mixing with people, but not with you!

Do you come here, Edna, for the food or the company or for both?

For both. Yes.

You have a feeling when you're here

you're being well looked after

during that period of time that you're here.

Do you think it's harder to make friends when you're older?

Yes. I think it is. And if you're in a flat on your own,

it can get a bit lonely.

I don't like to say it in front of these gentlemen,

but you can get a bit fed up with television.

Lunch over, time for the dishes to be done...

which, not having brought my rubber gloves with me,

I'm quite keen to avoid, if you don't mind.

'So give me the microphone, there's a raffle to be run.'

Number 16.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am your raffle drawer for the day.

Ooh.

We've got tuna chunks and we've got a packet of biscuits.

What's that blue tin over there?

Tin of pork.

No. A tin of pork?

Oh, I'm not talking about that, I don't do pork.

'You can feel the anticipation in the room.'

Right, and the winner of any of these fabulous prizes is 188.

'While my glamorous assistant Veronica hands out the prizes,

'strangely not even the lucky winners seem to want the sardines.'

She doesn't want the sardines.

She's going to give her the sardines whether she wants them or not.

I think my presentation skills have won them over, you know?

Someone even wants my autograph.

I do hope they don't think I'm Angela Rippon.

But do you know something?

This has been an afternoon I really won't forget for a long time.

That was so enjoyable.

Volunteers, some of whom are older than their guests,

who go away feeling as if they have contributed...

..to society, as if they've had a laugh.

It's quite wonderful what they're doing,

and I just wonder who are the next set of volunteers.

Where are they going to come from?

Because we are all working longer and longer hours

just to stay where we are in life.

How do you put it across to people

that Darby and Joan used to be Jack and Jill?

One thing I really noticed at lunch was just how much

the women outnumbered the men,

which, according to stats, is actually a nationwide trend.

Studies show men find it harder than women to make new friends

when widowed or divorced late in life

and are more likely to feel isolated.

Not that it's a modern phenomenon, by any means.

Mr Broughton is a lonely man.

His wife left him 31 years ago.

You're not living, you're existing.

I'm not clear yet as to what kind of help you would like to get.

The ordinary good old neighbour saying,

"Hello, how you getting on? Aren't you dead yet?"

So how do things compare today in 2017?

Have things moved on at all?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

I've come to meet Mike Archer,

who, after the break-up of his marriage,

knew the impact of loneliness first-hand.

I've been living by myself for 20 years.

Mm-hmm. You were married for how long?

25 years.

-Bar the month.

-Bar a month.

That was the month, that was the one month.

-OK.

-I'm longer single than married.

Right. Did you imagine that it would be so difficult

to get used to your own company, a single man?

The beginning, it was very, very lonely.

I spent two years never going out,

because you do tend to stay round the house.

You've got to find something to more or less interest yourself

and snap you out of it, like.

And that something for Mike turned out to be his love of making stuff,

which he discovered was a passion shared

by some other blokes in the area,

which is why they joined together to form the Hull branch

of a nationwide organisation called Men In Sheds.

Now, when I think of sheds,

what comes to mind is chilly wooden huts

filled with clutter and blokes with beards.

Women should be seen, but only peripherally.

But the shed that Mike visits is a different beast entirely.

It's a fully kitted-out, fully powered-up,

fully health-and-safety man space.

Old girls like me are very welcome indeed.

So I've popped along with Mike to see some of the men

handling their tools.

I bet you didn't expect to see that at this hour of the day.

OK, so, I'm a man, I've come along,

I've never picked up a screwdriver in my life -

this is all true apart from the bit about me being a man -

what would you...? How would you help me to start?

We find challenging things to make.

Maybe something like that.

Could I make a dinosaur for my grandson

whose birthday it is today?

Is it?

Very good. Yes, certainly, we can knock a dinosaur together, yes.

Let's do it. OK.

So, I turn it on here number one.

You turn it on here.

What you're doing, you're lining them two holes there

to put the drill through, so if you take the back...

I'm going to just lightly hold it.

-Just lightly hold it down.

-Yeah?

-Keep coming down on that.

I'm taking to it now, I'm getting to like this.

Oh, look at that. Is that, like, a perfect hole?

I mean, you know, makes you wonder

why I haven't been doing it all my life, doesn't it?

So what we do now,

we put the dowels in, if you just put it down there like that.

Right. There you are.

That's basically your dinosaur.

I am a woman... I am a Lipman in a shed.

Ooh.

That's lovely. Now, you see, I've made my first dinosaur,

and now you see why the dinosaur is extinct.

While a few of the guys have a bite to eat and a cuppa,

I have noticed that so far

this isn't my most glamorous TV assignment.

Well, Joanna Lumley gets Egypt, Michael Palin gets Antarctica,

I get a shed in Hull.

Nothing wrong with that.

Of course, not everyone wants to spend time in a shed.

No matter how splendid it is.

But this is more about having a hobby,

which health researchers say aids mental and physical wellbeing.

So are the blokes in here feeling that benefit?

I can see that you're doing these beautiful turned wood pens.

-Oh, yes.

-So the work is very rewarding. What else?

If the only other thing you've got, really, is to go down the pub...

-Yeah.

-..you know, and if you don't really get

company there, then, you know...?

Here, when you walk through the door,

you're going to have somebody talking to you.

If you're down, somebody's going to pick you up a bit, you know.

I was sat at home doing nothing.

-Right.

-And it was actually the wife that said,

"Have you seen this advert in the paper?

"Do you want to go down and see what it's like?"

-So...

-Get out from under my feet while you're at it!

Well, that sort of thing, yeah. Yeah.

It's brilliant.

-You can't think of nothing else.

-Really?

Dinosaurs to go.

I've had such a good time in there.

I expected an empty shed and lots of grumpy men,

and what I found was companionship, love

and something to contribute to society

no matter how old you are.

I think we need Women In Sheds, don't you?

MUSIC: Happy Hour by The Housemartins

So, are you having a grand day out with me?

Good!

Because science has proved that getting outdoors

is essential for holding back the years.

It's a great source of vitamin D, exercise

and, of course, it helps us combat the stresses

of being cooped up in our house all day on our own.

Of course, there's one guaranteed way of ensuring

that you'll spend a bit of your time in the great outdoors.

Get an animal.

It's obvious, really.

A pet needs to be walked, fed and entertained,

which means they are the ideal way of getting some exercise,

keeping the brain active

and persuading you to get out into the open.

And science shows it works too.

According to studies, pets can help lower blood pressure,

lessen depression, and people with pets visit the doctor

20% less than others, which is maybe why I'm in quite good nick.

Yep, I'm a sucker for doggies.

Of course, deciding to take on the responsibility of a pet

in later life can be somewhat daunting.

So I'm visiting the sort of place that could help.

The Jerry Green Dog Kennels on the outskirts of Hull

pairs elderly folk with the perfect dog for them.

'I'm meeting the charity's boss, Jackie Bell.'

What I'm getting, Jackie,

is that this is a kind of a bespoke rescue centre.

-It is.

-You sort of specialise in fitting the right dog

-to the right person.

-We are really proud of that.

We believe, and we genuinely believe this,

we do believe that every dog that we've got,

there is an owner out there for them.

So we will make extra efforts to make sure

that we get the match right.

We won't make any assumptions, either.

So for instance lots of rescues will say to an older person,

"Oh, we've got a lovely older dog for you."

Well, I'd be better for an older dog because I'm a lazy dog owner.

Actually, there's lots of older people who walk every day,

really, really active.

So from the point of view of someone who is solitary,

maybe bereaved, maybe lonely, it's a wonderful idea.

Life-changing.

We recognise, and there's so much evidence out there now,

that dogs make such a difference to your quality of life.

They do.

Well, that's the theory, but how does it work in practice?

Today, Ken Batty has brought Melody,

who he got from the kennels last November,

back in to discuss how they're both doing.

Here we are.

Hiya, Ken. Hiya, Melody. Hiya.

Hello. How you doing? How you doing?

Would you like to come through?

We'll have a chat and see how you're getting on.

-Excellent.

-All right, thank you. Come on, then.

-So how are you getting on?

-Oh, beautiful.

She's absolutely a joy to have.

She is looking absolutely happy and lovely.

It's wonderful to see. It was a good match, I think.

Oh, yeah.

Have you got any concerns

or anything that you need any help with?

No, not really. She's come on leaps and bounds and, I mean,

obviously I know that I can always ring you if anything does occur.

Ken divorced three years ago at the age of 61

and he moved back to be with his mother,

who sadly passed away over Christmas.

He's invited me to his home

to find out what a difference Melody has made.

Why at this stage of your life, Ken, did you want a dog so badly?

Well, two years ago I was diagnosed with throat cancer.

And I went through chemo and radiotherapy,

which obviously took a lot out of me,

and when I was on the road to recovery,

the doctors advised me to do as much walking as I could possibly manage.

Walking by yourself is a bit boring.

I thought I would quite like a companion,

so this is why we got Melody.

She's worked out absolutely brilliant.

-Really?

-I mean, I've had her three months now.

-Yeah.

-And my mother unfortunately passed away

over the Christmas period, but, I mean,

when she was still with us, I mean, Melody was the apple of her eye,

she absolutely loved Melody and Melody loved her.

So the two of you chose this dog together.

So we chose the dog together.

I mean, it becomes hard when you lose a parent,

but it's also when you're living by yourself.

-Yeah.

-So with her being with me,

I mean, she gives me the reason to get out of bed in the morning,

because I have to take her for a walk

and to take a walk in the night.

I often take her out during the day as well.

Yeah. And when you are feeling a bit low in yourself,

maybe take two steps forward, one step back...

..does she sort of know?

I believe she does. I believe dogs are aware of that feeling.

I mean, it's like...

She'll go and sit on my mother's chair.

Which she used to sit on my mother's knee, so...

But even though my mother's not there, she will...

She won't spend long there but she will sometimes, for no reason whatsoever,

just go and jump on there and curl up in a ball,

and then after a few minutes she gets down.

I look after her, she looks after me.

She looks after my sanity and I look after her.

For me, meeting Ken is proof that finding any sort of friendship

is vital as we hold back the years.

It doesn't have to be a human that gets you out of yourself.

Ken is on the road to recovery

from the worst things that life can throw at you.

And it's all down to having the right little fluffy person

to talk to.

Now, it's always great to get back up home every now and then,

especially at the moment,

because Hull is currently the UK's City of Culture,

and the place is buzzing with events, free of charge, open to all,

so why not follow in my footsteps

and actually come out for a day here in person?

I'm a firm believer in the power of the arts

in keeping the mind active.

And studies consistently show that a busy, enquiring mind

is a healthy mind.

Mmm, she looks familiar.

But there's another way to fill your life

with a bit of sophisticated learning,

which I'll tell you about in a moment.

I just need to make a quick call.

Anthony?

Oh, congratulations on your exam results.

'Now, while Beattie,

'the character in those old award-winning ads,

'was impressed at how her grandson had an ology,

'today, it's the grandparents who are educating themselves.'

An ology, he gets an ology, and he says he's failed!

You get an ology, you're a scientist!

The University of the Third Age is a nationwide organisation

for older people to learn new subjects and skills in a social way.

And when I say social, I mean social,

because the classroom is often the pub.

Today, I'm joining a group who are just getting down to their lesson.

I have no idea what that is.

But first, let's meet the person at the head of the class,

organiser Helen.

People join the U3A for lots of reasons.

Erm, newly retired, newly bereaved, wanting to learn new things.

-Mmm.

-And wanting to make new friends.

People come to me and say, "You've given me a zest back for life,

"you've given me my life back." It's amazing.

OK, well, time for me to get involved.

And first up, I'm joining the French language class,

who are attempting a version of a well-known children's fairy tale.

"Grand-mere, tu as de grands yeux."

'Hopefully, my acting skills will help with the lingo.'

Bonjour, mes amis!

Bienvenue!

C'est possible pour moi d'avoir un part?

Oh, dans notre piece?

-Oui!

-Oui?

We've got just the part for you.

Qu'est-ce que le show?

The wolf. Little Red Riding Hood.

You could be the wolf.

Oh! Great. I've got just the teeth for it!

I did have, before I had them fixed!

"..et elle quitte le chemin pour couper des fleurs,

"frappe a sa porte."

"Qui est la?

"Ooh, c'est moi, le Petit Chapeau Rouge."

I'm sorry, I've got to do that again.

Retake, please. Make-up!

"..la grand-mere de son lit, pour..."

'Hold on, is that it?'

I've got no more lines.

Oh, no, I'm jacking this lot in!

LAUGHTER

'Maybe French isn't for me after all.'

The great thing about this place is that it's nothing like

what you might remember school to be like.

No, the University of the Third Age puts the emphasis on interactivity,

fun and sociability - plus subjects that are just plain fascinating,

from the mysteries of ancient Egypt, bird-watching...

I trust Bill Oddie will still be in India.

..or how about a bit of belly dancing?

And if you really want to stretch yourself,

then how about some philosophy?

Hello, I'm a citizen of the Third Age,

and I've come to join you.

-What are you doing today?

-We're doing philosophy.

Ooh! Why? Why? That's the question - why are you doing philosophy?

-Because we love questions!

-Ah-ha.

We've been asking, what's the meaning of life?

That's simple. Piece of cake!

-You've got the answer for us!

-Piece de gateau.

It's about the search for meaning and the truth.

The bird of truth only builds her nest

in the branches of an open mind.

Should there be a meaning to life,

before you start discussing the meaning of it?

'Right, this could be a bit highbrow for me.'

We're still no nearer a conclusion, are we,

about what the meaning of life is, Elma?

-What does...?

-Well, I'm certainly not.

No.

'I'm with Elma on that.

'But what about the meaning of what this place offers

'to mature students? Any answers?'

The U3A I think is something that a lot of people

don't know enough about, that it isn't in fact a university,

it is a social group.

We don't write things down, we don't do exams at the end of it,

which is a good thing - I wouldn't be here if we did!

LAUGHTER

I hope you're enjoying our day out together.

It's been fun so far, hasn't it?

I think we're seeing at first hand the positive impact

staying social has on people's lives,

but you do know, old people don't just have to hang out

with other old people, do they?

Today, in my opinion, the generations don't mix

with each other enough.

But that's not true of the place I'm going to next - the bingo.

40.

Looking around here, you can see how it's all ages mixing and having fun.

So, for someone like Mavis,

it's been an opportunity to meet a new best friend, Lesley,

21 years her junior.

And are you friends from a long time back, or new friends?

No, I met her here.

And how did you meet Lesley?

Well, I was getting a drink of water at the water button over there.

And Lesley came up to me and said...

"I hope you don't mind me saying," but she said,

"you always look lovely and you always look very glamorous."

-Very beautiful.

-And beautiful.

-Beautiful.

-I don't know about beautiful, but...

So, I thought that was really nice, and that's how we became friends.

What made you say that?

Because I'd...

I'd always seen her here and every time I saw her,

she reminded me a bit of my mother.

Because my mother used to look like Mavis.

And I just couldn't help it but tell her

that she was always beautiful, which...

And glamorous, and dressed really well - I couldn't help it.

I'm one of these, I'll make sure that nobody else

-has to be lonely, either.

-Right.

-I'm like that.

-Yeah.

-I became friends with Mave,

and then that was it, she was stuck with me,

because I wouldn't leave her alone!

Because age doesn't matter - in a bingo hall,

age doesn't matter at all.

You get them all coming in from 18, you see all these young 'uns,

they all come over, they'll sit and talk to you, all friendly.

Does the winning matter to you?

Oh, it does to me, but I never win!

It really does, but I never win!

Well, I was very lucky two years ago.

I won £25,000.

And do you know what, Maureen,

then I became her bestest, bestest friend!

I'll be honest, I didn't really want to come here.

I've never been to bingo in my life, I had no idea what to expect.

But as a pretentious middle-class girl,

my impressions of it come from the '50s and '60s,

when it was seen as a bit lower class -

a game played in smoke-filled rooms, and even on trains!

But the truth is that by the '80s, people were cottoning on to the fact

that bingo could offer people, and particularly older people,

more than just a good night out.

Bingo is a Great British institution,

and it's a Swedish professor who's making bingo respectable.

He says pensioners go senile sitting at home drinking tea.

Bingo keeps the brain working and keeps the old 'uns young,

and English pensioners agree.

Well, it keeps us active, don't it?!

We keep coming.

-Give us a kiss.

-What do you mean, it keeps you active?

You're not even man and wife, are you?

No!

Today, bingo is big business,

worth over £1 billion in the UK alone.

There are 750,000 visits to bingo halls each week,

with nearly three million regular players,

which makes it the perfect place for anyone wanting to be social,

and a great opportunity for all the ages to mix.

So there you go - I've had my own prejudices shattered today,

I'm even giving it a go myself.

Oh, what would my kids say?!

SHE CHUCKLES

68, six and eight, 68...

For some, however, it's more than a game, it's a life-saver.

78-year-old Val lost her second husband, Peter, four years ago.

How long had you been married?

Oh, not very long, 12 years.

He was my second husband.

-Right.

-Yes.

But he was the loveliest man, he really was lovely.

And where did you meet him?

Walking, we used to go walking in the hills, you know.

So you'd already lost your husband?

-No, I didn't.

-You were divorced.

-No, we divorced.

-Yeah, that...

-And then you found the love of your life.

I did, and he was so beautiful to me, he was really lovely.

He sort of half went when he had Alzheimer's...

-Yes.

-He wasn't the same man, but he was...

-No, he wasn't.

-And then, when there was no-one there,

what did the house feel like?

Terrible. Oh, it was lonely, and really...

Really sad... You know, sadness.

-Making me feel...

-Yeah. Yeah, no, don't...

It's sad, isn't it, yeah?

I wasn't maybe too fussed at first, but I thought,

"Right, get yourself out of this, you've got to try.

"You've got your children, you've got to try and get out of it."

And so, with the help of her daughters Sue and Amanda,

a trip to the bingo was Val's first step to getting over loneliness.

My daughters bring me, and they've got friends here as well.

They're such good girls,

and they make me go places which I wouldn't go normally.

So, you've got to be social, haven't you, in your life?

-But it's hard.

-Yes.

'To help Val get over her loss,

'she's also taken up something for the first time in her 70s - poetry.

'And she's written about her husband's illness.'

I remember when he was So handsome and strong

We would walk hand-in-hand And sing a love song

He would say how he loved me How I filled him with joy

Those days are all gone now

My strong, handsome boy

I'll love you forever

Though life's not the same As I go home alone

Did you know that I came?

'So I guess the motto is, when it comes to friendship,'

you don't have to mind the age gap.

In fact, unlike bingo, it's not about numbers at all.

Do you see what I did there?

You wouldn't get that on Channel 5.

Ooh, bingo!

Now, then, just one last go at winning that 25 grand.

-45, four and five, 45.

-Oh, I got that.

Six and eight, 68.

I mean, I didn't want to come here,

but I've found it absolutely fascinating.

It's definitely not for me, I'm innumerate,

so I literally couldn't keep up.

So, would I come again?

Maybe, if I had the right group of...

If I had the right group of friends,

and I got rid of my sort of basic snobbishness about the whole thing,

and my loathing of gambling,

I think it would be a bloody good night out, frankly.

Well, it's coming near to the end of my grand day out,

and so far, I've seen some great ways for people

to stay social and avoid loneliness,

but I haven't looked at the biggest source of company in older years -

marriage.

Over 70% of people over 60 are married,

and it is something that can bring immense comfort,

especially in old age.

And that was the case for my mother and father,

who were together for 47 years through thick and thin

and lived in Hull all their lives.

You could say they were tailor-made for one another.

This is my father's shop, Maurice Lipman's,

Gentlemen's Outfitters.

But no Maurice Lipman.

How to describe it? Somebody once came in the shop

and asked for a particular kind of shirt.

My father showed him the shirt, he said, "That's perfect, Mr Lipman.

"Have you got it darker?" And he turned the light out.

That was my dad.

It wasn't a perfect marriage, but they were there for one another.

And in the last 15 years of his life,

my mother looked patiently after my dad

when he lost his short-term memory.

So I guess in the end, like Jack and I, they were a good team.

And I want to end our grand day out by visiting another great team -

a wonderful couple who've been married for over 60 years,

Sylvia and Peter.

As with all great love stories,

we're starting right at the beginning.

We was in, well, we was in a dance hall, the Regal Ballroom...

Right. The Regal, I remember the Regal, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you remember the Regal?

Yeah. I think I saw The Beatles at the Regal.

Cinema at the bottom and ballroom at the top.

Yeah. So, you started writing to each other after one meeting.

-Wrote every day.

-Every day!

Every day, yeah.

So, on one meeting, you knew, did you?

Yeah.

About seven months after, we was married,

so he's exactly the same as when I first met him.

-Handsome brute.

-Handsome!

Aw!

You both look absolutely terrific.

And soon, wedding bells were ringing.

They got married on the 26th December 1956.

'I would only have been ten at the time,

'but it seems that my family did have a role to play

'in the proceedings.'

Look at you, you devil, you!

That's the suit he made.

-Suit who made?

-Your father.

My father made this suit?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Are you serious?

Yes. Definitely, yeah.

-From Maurice's Lipman's shop in...

-Yeah.

-..Monument Bridge.

I can't take it on board.

First of all, I can't believe it was ready in time for the wedding,

because my father was notorious!

Somebody once came in and was so cross with him

for not having a suit ready that they released a bag

of live chickens in the shop on a Saturday!

-Oh, no!

-Yeah.

And he got the stripe wrong down the side -

it's yellow, but it should be red.

So, he changed it for us specially, Christmas Day.

Thank God he was Jewish and he would work on Christmas Day, hey?!

That's an amazing thing to have revealed!

After marriage, they did what couples do, and started a family.

In their time, they had four children,

who produced 15 grandchildren,

and now nine great-grandchildren,

all of whom fill their home with laughter and love.

It's a very special set-up.

So special, in fact, that on the morning

of their 60th wedding anniversary,

Sylvia and Peter got a very welcome card,

from a lady who knows all about long marriages.

That's fantastic.

"I am so pleased to know that you are celebrating

"your diamond wedding anniversary on 26th December 2016.

"I send my congratulations to you on such a special occasion,

"and would like to add my good wishes for a very happy Christmas.

"Elizabeth R. Mr and Mrs Peter Wilson."

Isn't that grand?

It's lovely.

If anything, Sylvia and Peter live a life

that is the opposite of loneliness.

It's jam-packed with people.

And sometimes things can get so crowded, they need a bit of space,

which is why their favourite hobby comes in handy - fishing.

'And I'm going to join them to try and catch some tips

'on staying together this long.'

-Going fishing.

-You got your rods?

Getting through life and being soul mates,

what's the most important thing, do you think?

-Respect.

-Respect?

-Respect, yeah.

-Yeah.

You both agree on that?

Yeah. Well, love, I think, mostly.

We love each other, and always will.

-Mmm.

-Yeah. And as they say, trust.

-Mmm.

-That's a big part.

-Mmm.

-Breakfast in bed every morning.

No?

Yeah, I've had that from day one.

You've got a good man here, you've got a new man.

Did you help with the kids?

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, all the time, yeah. Yeah.

I've never known anything else, you know, it's...

Do you fight?

Now and again. But...

-Do we what, sorry?

-He's a very forgiving sort of man.

No, not fight, we argue.

-No, we argue.

-But not fight.

You don't sulk, that's the big thing, isn't it?

-Well, she does!

-Does she sulk?

THEY LAUGH

How long for?!

-Not long, not long.

-Not long.

My dad used to sulk for weeks!

What we get is, "Do you want a cup of tea?"

-"No."

-Yeah!

Yeah. Who's the first to say sorry?

-Me!

-Yeah!

'I really hope you're all taking notes on this at home!'

You're just people who look on the best side of life, aren't you?

-Yeah.

-And I think that's what's really kept you

young and kept you contented.

-Yeah.

-Because the glass is always half full.

-Yeah.

-You're absolutely brilliant.

And you deserve a carp.

Yeah, come on!

Here are two people who just look on the good side of things.

They're an example to us all - forbearance and love.

So, there we have it.

It's the end of our grand day out together,

and time for me to head on back down south.

I've learned a lot about the importance of staying social

to holding back the years, and I hope you have too.

Not only is it good for us mentally, but also physically.

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

-Come on, then! Come on!

-Hello!

We can help each other and learn new skills.

When they're enjoying it, I'm happy.

All in all, it stops us from becoming fossilised old dinosaurs.

Very nice, yeah.

If you're in any doubt,

there's one question I've asked everyone on this journey.

On a scale of one to ten, how important is the company of others?

It's about ten, I would...

Nine or ten.

I think it's neuf.

Nine, ten.

It's definitely nine and ten.

-12.

-Is it 12?

-12.

'The people I've met have inspired me to stay positive.

'And that's not always easy for me.'

I'm ending my journey back where it began,

at the central station in Hull.

A great city, of commerce, of culture,

a poetic city.

So, here I am standing in front of a statue which I unveiled

of the poet Philip Larkin, who famously lived in Hull.

Prince of negativity.

He wrote a poem called The Old Fools, in which he said...

"What do they think has happened to make them like this?

"Why aren't they screaming?"

Well, I think we've shown that the people of Hull are not screaming...

..they're having fun, they're being sociable and adventurous,

and full of humour.

They're living.

So there!

# It's happy hour again

# I think I might be happy if I wasn't out with them

# And they're happy, it's a lovely place to be

# Happy that the fire is real, the barman is a she

# Where the haircuts smile And the meaning of style

# Is a night out with the boss

# Where you win or you lose And it's them who choose

# And if you don't win then you've lost

# What a good place to be... #