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You ever think about stuff? | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
Aye, of course. | 0:00:03 | 0:00:05 | |
I mean, really think about stuff. Big stuff. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
What? Like elephants? Or jumbo-sized hot dogs? | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
No, I mean the big questions. Like, what's it all about? | 0:00:12 | 0:00:17 | |
What's what all about? | 0:00:17 | 0:00:18 | |
Everything. The whole shebang. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
There was once a bunch of guys in Scotland | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
who thought about stuff so much, they weren't sure they knew anything. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:32 | |
They don't sound too smart to me! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
No, they were really brainy. Take this guy. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
David Hume questioned everything. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Why this? How that? Everything! | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
He questioned what we actually know about the world. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
Do we have any good reason | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
to think any of the stuff around us is actually there? | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
Eh? | 0:00:51 | 0:00:52 | |
I mean, think about it. How can we know the world exists? | 0:00:52 | 0:00:57 | |
Cos we're standing on it. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
Is that a fact? | 0:01:00 | 0:01:01 | |
Mate, I need to tell you something. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
What is it? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:08 | |
You're a brain in a jar. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:11 | |
What you talkin' about? | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
You know jars, mate? Glass jars? | 0:01:14 | 0:01:15 | |
You get jam in them, chocolate spread in them? | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
I've seen you put your fingers in them. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:19 | |
Mmm. All the chocolate spread! That kind of jar. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
Well, that's what you're inside, right now, mate. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
And you're just a horrible wee wrinkly brain. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
Eh, how am I a brain in a jar, exactly? | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
When I'm sitting here on your smelly couch | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
watching the Wheelie Bin Rovers and Polybag United football match? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
You just perceive all of this to be real. Your trainers. Your ring. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
The telly. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
That framed painting of my maw wrestling that monkey in Mexico. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:42 | |
But it's all just in your mind. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:43 | |
You're just a brain in a mad scientist's jar, mate. I'm sorry. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
-A mad scientist, now? -Aye. This mad scientist, | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
this evil genius mad scientist guy from Motherwell. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
He zapped you out of your bed one night into his secret base | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
under Loch Ness, and pulled your brain out. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
Stuck it in a jar, wired it up with some electrodes, | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
stuck it on the mantelpiece. Then he had a fish supper. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
And why would he do that, exactly? | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Because he likes fish suppers. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
I mean the brain bit. Why would he take my brain? | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
Just for a laugh. He's mad. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
I think I'd know if I was a brain in a jar, Jimmy! | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
How would you? | 0:02:12 | 0:02:13 | |
Well, I can see things, can't I? Brains don't have eyes! | 0:02:13 | 0:02:17 | |
No, but brains can imagine things. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
You see stuff when you're dreaming, don't you? | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
Aye, I see all sorts of stuff. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
I quite often see giraffes going camping. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
Which is a nightmare, because they cannae find sleeping bags | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
long enough to keep their necks warm, | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
and their heads keep bursting through the roofs of the tents. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
Aye, well, your eyes are shut when you're sleeping, mate. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
So how are you seeing the things you're seeing? | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Aye, right enough. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
But I can feel things, and all. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
Look! | 0:02:42 | 0:02:43 | |
See? | 0:02:44 | 0:02:45 | |
How can a brain in a jar feel your mad, squashy face? | 0:02:46 | 0:02:50 | |
But are you feeling my squashy face? Or is your mind just telling you | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
that you're feeling my mad, squashy face? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
Aw. Right enough. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
I mean, I can feel things in my dreams as well, can't I? | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
Maybe I am a brain in a jar! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
You're a total brain in a jar, mate. Mad jar-heid. Told you. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
I might be on that mad scientist's mantelpiece right now! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
Help! Get me out of this jar! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
No, no, no, no. I'm not having you tell me this isn't real. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:22 | |
I mean, it's common sense! | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
Common sense? Davey, man, if all this was real, | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
why would there be a sound man recording us talking? | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
And why would there be a camera? And lights? | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Why would this football we're watching on the telly | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
just be a hollowed out prop TV with a wee stuffed fox inside it? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
Aye. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:42 | |
Come to think of it, how do we know that they... | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
sorry, talking about you like you aren't even in the room... | 0:03:46 | 0:03:49 | |
..how do we know that they aren't brains in jars, as well? | 0:03:49 | 0:03:52 | |
Well, Davey, why would all these brains in all these jars | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
all be imagining the same thing? | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
Aye. So it must be one brain in one jar imagining all of this. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:03 | |
Aye, and you're the one who definitely IS the brain in a jar, | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
because it was me who told that mad scientist where you live | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
because I wanted rid of you | 0:04:08 | 0:04:09 | |
for eating all the chocolate spread, Davey. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
Which means all of this in here, except you in that jar must be... | 0:04:11 | 0:04:16 | |
Oh, it's teeth time! Oh, no, it's teeth time! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
Oh, no! | 0:04:19 | 0:04:20 | |
Oh, no! Oh, no! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
See? Just a wee squidgy brain in a jam jar. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Aye, but what about the rest of us? | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
What did Hume think? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Hume said we can't prove that the world really exists. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:40 | |
We use our senses, like our eyes and ears, | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
but we've got no proof that they tell us anything about the world. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
This next guy doesn't look too happy about that! | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
Thomas Reid. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
He agreed that you can't prove it, but disagreed that you HAVE to. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:55 | |
He said it's natural to believe the world exists, | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
so we have no reason to doubt it. Our common sense tells us it's there! | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
So what do you think? Are you thinking? Are you really there? | 0:05:02 | 0:05:06 | |
Hello? | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
Boop! | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
I told you I'd capture you one day, Nuisance. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
Well, it certainly makes a change | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
from me walking all over you, Carpetman! Belter. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:34 | |
Why are you always such a nuisance? | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
Because I am The Nuisance, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
the Irritating Crown Prince of Really Doing-your-box-in-ness. Boop! | 0:05:39 | 0:05:44 | |
Please, your patented boop sound is very annoying. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
Now, tell me where you've hidden the Mayor's clothes. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
Nope. I'm afraid the Mayor's going to have to be running around | 0:05:51 | 0:05:55 | |
in the scud a little bit longer. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
Must you be so lacking in morals all the time? | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
Boooop! | 0:05:59 | 0:06:00 | |
You know the difference between right and wrong. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Why always choose to do wrong? | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
Because I am a selfish and self-interested, rather cliched, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:10 | |
and very annoying baddie. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
If you are indeed so full of self-interest, | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
you must want this world to be a comfortable place to live in. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
Comfortable for you. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
Yes? | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
Hm. Yes. Where is this going, Carpetman? | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
Even the most selfish of nuisances | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
derive some pleasure from the pleasure of others. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
If that is the case, then where is this nuisance's morality? | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
Please get out from under the table, you annoying wee nuisance! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:52 | |
Boop! | 0:06:54 | 0:06:55 | |
Do you derive pleasure from seeing pleasure, Nuisance? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
Pleasure such as seeing the laughter of a small child? | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
I would rather eat my own sideburns in a sandwich | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
than see any child happy! I HATE children! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:14 | |
Sorry, no offence. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
An old man finding his long-lost dog? | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
I'd rather see that old man finding out | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
that his dog had done a bathroom in his bunnet, Carpetman. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
A smile. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
A simple smile across my face. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
You? Smile? Impossible! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:32 | |
Would it please you if I smiled? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
Carpetman, smiling? That patterned pest with a smile? That fabric fool? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:42 | |
That woven waster? That underlay... something. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
I've run out of carpet patter. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:47 | |
Could I perhaps see a small preview | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
of what that smile might look like, Carpetman? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
That's as far as it's going for now. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:02 | |
Oh, yes! I would dearly like to see that full smile. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:05 | |
Then do the right thing! | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
Tell me where the mayor's underscants are | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
so that I can cover up his buttocks! | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
So if I do the right thing here, I stand to gain something? | 0:08:12 | 0:08:16 | |
A smile from you? | 0:08:16 | 0:08:17 | |
Yes. And a promise that I won't wallop you with my carpetarang. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:22 | |
OK, OK, I'll tell you! | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
The mayor's clothes are hidden... | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
..under all your clothes! | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
The mayor's tie, and his chain! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
How on earth did you...? Oh! This will be very annoying to resolve! | 0:08:42 | 0:08:47 | |
Well, I guess that's why they call me... The Nuisance! | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
Oh, for goodness sake, now! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
Where's my smile, Carpetman? | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
Boooop! | 0:08:58 | 0:09:02 | |
Boop! | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
There's one of those philosophers. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
It's Adam Smith! We've got to help him! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:12 | |
Should we? There's nothing in it for us, is there? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
Well, no, but if we don't help him he'll be squished, | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
and his weans will be orphaned, and they'll have to get a job | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
somewhere horrible, like a dandruff factory! | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
And that upsets you? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:24 | |
Aye! | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
See, Smith called that "sympathy". We know it as "empathy". | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
He believed that we share in people's pain | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
and find pleasure in their happiness because it's in our nature. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
And if we help him we'll get a big thanks and a round of applause? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
Right. So you think we should help him? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
Yes! | 0:09:39 | 0:09:40 | |
-APPLAUSE -Please, it was nothing, really! | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
Excuse me, mate. You got the time? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
-It's two o'clock. -Aye, mate. But is it? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
-What? -Is it two o'clock? | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Aye. I just saw the time on the clock outside. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
Did you? Did you really? | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
Yes. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:14 | |
Are you lying to me, mate? | 0:10:14 | 0:10:15 | |
No! Why would I be lying about the time? | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
I've never seen that weird long face of yours before in my life. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
-So why should I believe you? -Seriously? | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
You ask me to tell you the time and then you accuse me of lying about it? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
Tell me why I should believe you. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
Use your common sense, mate. Why would I lie? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
Oh, I don't know. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:44 | |
Maybe because you want to make me late for my pie concert? | 0:10:44 | 0:10:48 | |
Why would I want you, a guy I've never met in my life, to be late... | 0:10:48 | 0:10:52 | |
Hold on. A pie concert? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
Yep. I'm going to see one of my favourite pies live on stage. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Steak and kidney. Live. Farewell tour. So I need to know the time. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
-It's two o'clock. -Don't you lie to me! | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
I'm telling you the truth! | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
Are you honestly saying I should just believe everything | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
any Tom, Dick and Harry tells me? Are you that naive? | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
I just believe that people generally tell the truth | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
and want to be told the truth. It's human nature. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
And you don't believe that a monster like you would turn against | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
that very human nature to make me late for my pie concert? | 0:11:32 | 0:11:36 | |
No. It's two o'clock! | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
You cannae disguise lies about pies, mate. I need evidence. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:42 | |
Well, go outside and look at the clock yourself! | 0:11:42 | 0:11:45 | |
No, I mean I need evidence that I can trust your testimony. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
I don't exactly smell the cheese of truth | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
when I look into your eyes, mate. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
Why do you hate pies so much? | 0:11:52 | 0:11:56 | |
What's going on here? | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Do I not have an honest face or something? | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
Well, let's check this book of faces. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
Sneaky face, disgusting face, | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
a face only a mother could love, a face full of lies about pies. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
Oh, and look, our sole honest face. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
Right, why don't you ask me some stuff that you know | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
is definitely true? | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
Right? Then we'll see if my "testimony", as you call it, | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
is normally reliable. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:27 | |
Well, first I'd need to know what you look like | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
when you're definitely lying. So, say, "I am a pie." | 0:12:31 | 0:12:35 | |
-I'm not saying that. -Say it. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
-I am a pie. -No, come on. | 0:12:40 | 0:12:41 | |
Like you're really trying to convince me of your piedom. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
I am a pie. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
You're a pie, mate. Put some filling into it! | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
I am a pie! | 0:12:53 | 0:12:54 | |
Right. Let's get onto this reliable testimony now. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
Are pies tasty? | 0:13:01 | 0:13:02 | |
Yes. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Reliable. Are pies the best food in the whole wide world? | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
-Yes. -Also reliable. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
It's starting to look like maybe I am justified in believing you. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
Aye, well, we'll know for sure after the next 98 questions. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:16 | |
98?! You'd be quicker going out to look at the clock yourself! | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
This is no longer about the clock, pal. It's about you. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
It's about two opposing theories. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
It's about the pursuit of a deeper knowledge of human nature itself. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:31 | |
And about pies. Mainly about pies. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
Right, carry on. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
Are all these questions about pies? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:38 | |
Yep. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
It's just leaving two the now, so we've got all the time in the world. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:45 | |
I would have just believed him and gone to that pie concert! | 0:13:53 | 0:13:56 | |
Aye, but David Hume said you shouldn't always believe everybody. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
I mean, if somebody told you they'd seen a miracle, | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
would you just accept it? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
A talking badger? I don't think so! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Right. It's more likely that someone is lying or mistaken | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
than there's been a miracle. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
But if no one believed anyone, | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
how would we know what was going on in the world? | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
I guess we wouldn't. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
Thomas Reid disagreed. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
For him, believing other people is a natural part of being human. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
We get important knowledge from what we're told, | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
so we would be daft to ignore it. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
That's why we're justified in believing what other people tell us. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
So who do you believe? | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
Are you sure you're not lying about all of this? | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
Look it up if you want to! | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
Aye, I think I'll do that. But hold on, how can I believe what I read? | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Hey, Lewis. Do you like my new haircut? | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
'Oh, no! This is awkward.' | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
'It's a really, really bad haircut, isn't it?' | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
'If you tell your friend the truth...' | 0:15:07 | 0:15:08 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
'What'll happen?' | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
'If you tell your friend what he wants to hear...' | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Hey, that's a beautiful haircut! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
'..then you'll be a liar.' | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
Look at my new haircut. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:22 | |
'Would you mind telling a lie if it made your friend happy?' | 0:15:23 | 0:15:27 | |
Are you a fan of my impressive haircut? | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
'What if we just figure out | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
'what is going to bring about the most happiness and then do that?' | 0:15:32 | 0:15:36 | |
My haircut. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
'Telling your friend that his awful haircut is nice | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
'is going to bring about the most happiness, isn't it?' | 0:15:40 | 0:15:43 | |
Your haircut is... | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
'Wait!' | 0:15:45 | 0:15:46 | |
'What if your lie leads to happiness for your friend right now | 0:15:46 | 0:15:49 | |
'but humiliation later, at a party?' | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
You told me my haircut was the nicest in the world. You've ruined my life! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:57 | |
'If you tell him the truth, | 0:15:58 | 0:15:59 | |
'he might get his haircut sorted before the party.' | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
'So maybe telling the truth will cause short-term sadness...' | 0:16:06 | 0:16:11 | |
'..but long term happiness.' | 0:16:11 | 0:16:12 | |
Yeah! | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
'So you should tell him the truth.' | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
Kneel before my haircut. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
'So tell him.' | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
Listen, your haircut is... | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
'Wait!' | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
'What party? Do you even know anyone who is having a party?' | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
'So should we even consider that possibility at all?' | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
'It can be hard figuring out | 0:16:32 | 0:16:33 | |
'what's going to bring about the most happiness, can't it?' | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
Hair! | 0:16:36 | 0:16:37 | |
'Have I been helpful in any way? | 0:16:37 | 0:16:38 | |
'I'm afraid you're on your own, pal.' | 0:16:40 | 0:16:41 | |
Um... | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
Er... | 0:16:46 | 0:16:47 | |
Your haircut is... | 0:16:48 | 0:16:49 | |
I understand. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
My new haircut is too impressive for words. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
Your haircut, on the other hand, | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
is the worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
It's disgusting! | 0:16:58 | 0:17:00 | |
I'm only saying this to you because I'm a true friend | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
and I don't want people laughing at you. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
Get it sorted, man. Come on! | 0:17:05 | 0:17:08 | |
Nightmare! So what should he have done? | 0:17:16 | 0:17:19 | |
James Mill believed the right thing to do | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
is whatever creates the most happiness. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
So right and wrong depends on how other people feel? | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
Aye, and you should do the thing that brings about the greatest happiness. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:31 | |
Easy. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
Hmmm. But suppose I was wanting to catapult your Uncle Kenny's trainers | 0:17:32 | 0:17:36 | |
on the roof, and your Uncle Kenny's an eejit, | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
so everybody would be happy. I should do it, aye? | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
Er, no. This is Mill's son, John. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
He was a philosopher, too. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
He agreed about making people happy. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
But he added that you should avoid hurting others through your actions. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
Following this rule will bring about more happiness. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
Even if I don't like my Uncle Kenny either. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Aye, all right. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
So with all these rules, we should know the right things to do! | 0:17:58 | 0:18:01 | |
Aye, and yet somehow you still haven't paid back | 0:18:01 | 0:18:04 | |
that tenner you owe me. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:05 | |
Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
You enjoying that, are you? | 0:18:26 | 0:18:27 | |
Mate, it's like an angel came down from heaven | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
and sprinkled magical sausage dust onto my lips. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
Oh, well. I did not enjoy mine. But that's fine, | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
because it's better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:45 | |
So what you're saying is that Socrates didn't like sausages? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
I don't know if Socrates liked sausages. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
The point is that it's better to be me unhappy | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
than it is to be you happy. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
So what you're saying is that you're Socrates? | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
-Yes. -And I'm a sausage? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:01 | |
No. You're the fool. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:03 | |
I'm a fool?! I'll no be having that, mate! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
All right. Let's say, instead, that you are a pig. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
-Well, in many ways I am a pig. -HE BURPS | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
Right. Well, even if you, the pig, are having the best day of your life, | 0:19:13 | 0:19:18 | |
and I, the human, am having the worst day of mine, | 0:19:18 | 0:19:22 | |
it's still better to be the human than the pig. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
No, no, no. It's better to be a pig in its comfiest slippers | 0:19:25 | 0:19:29 | |
enjoying a nice roll in the mud | 0:19:29 | 0:19:30 | |
than it is be a human not enjoying a sausage, mate. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
So are you saying that pleasure is all that matters? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
It's the only thing that matters, mate. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
Aye, but surely some pleasures are more valuable than other pleasures? | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
Like what? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
Shakespeare. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:45 | |
Now, if I was to go and see some Shakespeare, | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
I might not have as much fun as a pig rolling about in the mud, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
but the Shakespeare would add more value to my life | 0:19:53 | 0:19:57 | |
than the mud would to the pig. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
Can we make this about sausages again, | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
because that's kind of more my speed. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
All right. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:05 | |
The pleasure of watching Shakespeare | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
is more worthwhile than the pleasure of eating sausages. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:11 | |
Nah, mate. Sausages or Shakespeare? Sausages win. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:15 | |
Nah, sausages or Shakespeare? Shakespeare wins. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Shakespeare will have enriched your soul. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
Mate, I could create something more valuable | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
than Shakespeare's best play in a second. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
Impossible. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:26 | |
-I could. -Show me. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
HE FARTS | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
See? I enjoy a wee solo on the bum trumpet more than I've ever enjoyed | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
any of his plays. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
Therefore, farting is also more valuable than Shakespeare. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
Rubbish. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
Better to be a big, cheery pig oinking out some glorious | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
bum thunder than to be a human reading some boring Shakespeare. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:47 | |
-Do you know who said that? -Who? | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
William Shakespeare. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:51 | |
Don't make stuff up. Now, I'm going to read this, OK? | 0:20:51 | 0:20:54 | |
Because reading a genius is the kind of thing | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
a pig would never be fortunate enough to experience. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:01 | |
Well, I'm going to be a pig right now, | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
because a pig doesn't have to suffer your annoying conversations | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
and I'm going to eat these sausages because I like eating sausages | 0:21:06 | 0:21:10 | |
all the time, mate, I just love sausages! | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
Better to be a happy pig. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:15 | |
Better to be an unhappy human. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
HE SNORTS | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
-Better to be a happy pig. -HE FARTS | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Better to be an unhappy human... | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
..sitting over there. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:26 | |
Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm! | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
So, let's look at this carefully. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Here's a pig that lives its life in mud, happy as Larry. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:44 | |
And what a life! | 0:21:44 | 0:21:46 | |
And then there's Mill. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:48 | |
He said you would have a more valuable life | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
as an unhappy person than as a happy pig. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
Aye, he looks a bit grumpy, right enough. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:56 | |
Mill hasn't been as consistently happy in his life. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:59 | |
He's a right misery guts! | 0:21:59 | 0:22:00 | |
But he did have quality moments of happiness, | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
such as listening to his favourite music, or winning a game of tennis. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:09 | |
So you're saying that there are different kinds of happiness? | 0:22:09 | 0:22:12 | |
Right! Mill says his life is better | 0:22:12 | 0:22:15 | |
because he's had more valuable happiness than the pig. | 0:22:15 | 0:22:19 | |
Right, and the pig's called Larry? | 0:22:19 | 0:22:20 | |
No, he's not called Larry. I said he's happy as Larry. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
Right. So who's Larry? | 0:22:24 | 0:22:25 | |
Are you ready for a story, boys and girls? | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
Today's story is called "The Bear Who Asked A Lot Of Questions". | 0:22:51 | 0:22:56 | |
It was bedtime. Bondo the Bear pulled his blankets up over his hairy tummy | 0:22:59 | 0:23:04 | |
and asked his Daddy a question. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
"Daddy, how do I know that I'll wake up in the morning | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
"and not just sleep and sleep and sleep for a hundred years?" | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
"Well," said Daddy Bear. "You don't. Night-night." | 0:23:14 | 0:23:18 | |
"But, Daddy. Do you think I'm going to sleep for a hundred years?" | 0:23:20 | 0:23:24 | |
asked Bondo. Daddy shook his head. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:28 | |
"I'm not saying that it will happen, son. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
"I just can't guarantee that it won't. Sweet dreams." | 0:23:30 | 0:23:35 | |
Bondo's daddy isn't really helping Bondo get to sleep, is he? | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
He could just say, | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
"Of course you're not going to sleep for a hundred years." | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
But he's not completely certain that it's impossible, is he? | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
Do you mind? | 0:23:47 | 0:23:48 | |
"One more question, Daddy." | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
"What is it?", sighed Daddy Bear. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:56 | |
He wanted to go downstairs and play Bear Of Duty 4 on his Cavestation. | 0:23:56 | 0:24:01 | |
"Can we be sure that the sun will come up tomorrow?" asked Bondo. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
"No," said Daddy bear. "Now go to sleep." | 0:24:05 | 0:24:09 | |
I think we do know that the sun will rise in the morning. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
Not for certain we don't. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
Can I get back to reading the story to the boys and girls now, please? | 0:24:15 | 0:24:18 | |
Does it have to be this story? | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
I don't think I like Daddy Bear very much. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
Yes, well, Daddy Bear doesn't like you very much either. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
He said you wear your mum's pyjamas | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
and your head smells like a sweaty badger doing press-ups in a bin. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:31 | |
You know, you are always interrupting my stories. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
Do I ever interrupt your stupid songs? | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
# I'm sitting on a bus I'm sitting on a bus! # | 0:24:38 | 0:24:42 | |
"But Daddy," said Bondo. "The sun always comes up in the morning." | 0:24:45 | 0:24:51 | |
"Just because something has always happened in the past," | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
replied Daddy Bear, "doesn't mean we can assume | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
"that it will always happen in the future." | 0:24:57 | 0:25:00 | |
"I've never put you to bed, then gone downstairs, | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
"got hungry and ate your mum, | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
"but it doesn't mean that I won't do it tonight." | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
-Did you write this story? -No. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:09 | |
-Who was it, then? -It was Charles Dickens. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
See! I knew it was you. | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Trying to get these wild ideas of yours across to the children. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
They are interesting ideas! What would you prefer? | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
# I'm currently close to a table | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
# I'm currently very close To a table! # | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
When the silly, sock-breathed presenter stopped talking, | 0:25:28 | 0:25:32 | |
Daddy Bear continued. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
"Bears have only been around for a fraction of the time | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
"that the sun has. Perhaps we don't have all the information yet." | 0:25:37 | 0:25:41 | |
"Maybe the sun comes up for a billion days in a row | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
"and then goes off to another galaxy for a week's holiday." | 0:25:44 | 0:25:48 | |
"We used to think the sun moved around the earth | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
"before we got more information." | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
Come on! We need to assume some things based on what we know. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
Otherwise life would be chaos. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
People need to assume that when they go to sleep at night | 0:25:58 | 0:26:01 | |
they'll wake up the next morning. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:02 | |
People need to assume that Tuesday will follow Monday. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
I need to assume that you're going to continue | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
to make my life in this job a living nightmare. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:12 | |
Every day. Every day! | 0:26:12 | 0:26:15 | |
"One final..." | 0:26:19 | 0:26:20 | |
Every day! | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
"One final question, Daddy." | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
"Every time I've ever thumped someone on the head with a book, | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
"it's really hurt them." | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
"Can I assume that it will really hurt them, | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
"the next time I thump them?" | 0:26:33 | 0:26:34 | |
"No," said Daddy Bear. And he switched off the light. The end. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:40 | |
You knew that would hurt! | 0:26:41 | 0:26:42 | |
Now that's my kind of story. What do you think, Hume? | 0:26:48 | 0:26:51 | |
Hey, what's wrong with Hume? | 0:26:51 | 0:26:52 | |
He's thinking about a deep problem, the problem of knowledge. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:56 | |
Oh, aye, I've met a lot of people with knowledge problems. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:59 | |
I don't mean cleverness, stupid! | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
I mean, how can we know anything? | 0:27:02 | 0:27:03 | |
Like, if we throw a ball up in the air, | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
how can we know what happens next? | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
Well, obviously it'll fall back down again! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
But how do you know that? | 0:27:10 | 0:27:11 | |
Because that's what happens. What goes up, must come down. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
I've seen it countless times! | 0:27:14 | 0:27:15 | |
But what if you're in space? | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
You throw a ball up there, it doesn't come back down, does it? | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
Aye, well, it's different up there. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
So you can't say that every time a ball is thrown, | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
it always falls back down. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
It's just in your experience that it has. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
But your experience isn't the same as knowledge. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
But don't people say you should learn from your experience? | 0:27:31 | 0:27:35 | |
Well, it might help your survival to remember things, | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
but Hume says it still doesn't show that you know anything. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:41 | |
OK, someone must have proved him wrong. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:44 | |
Not this time, you can't use reason | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
to prove that your reasoning is right! | 0:27:46 | 0:27:49 | |
So maybe that storybook was right. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
Maybe the sun does go for a holiday after a billion days! | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Maybe. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:56 | |
So what does it all mean? | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
It means that you should never stop asking questions. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
It means life is more exciting than you think! | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
MUSIC: "What Goes On" by The Velvet Underground | 0:28:08 | 0:28:11 | |
# What goes on in your mind? | 0:28:11 | 0:28:15 | |
# I think that I am falling down | 0:28:15 | 0:28:19 | |
# What goes on in your mind? | 0:28:19 | 0:28:23 | |
# I think that I am upside down | 0:28:23 | 0:28:27 | |
# Baby, be good, do what you should | 0:28:27 | 0:28:31 | |
# You know it will work all right | 0:28:31 | 0:28:34 | |
# Baby, be good, do what you should | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
# You know it will be all right. # | 0:28:39 | 0:28:42 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media | 0:28:42 | 0:28:46 |