27/02/2017 Inside Out South

Hello.

So if the threat of three points on your licence and a 100 quid fine

won't stop you from using your phone while driving, perhaps this will.

I remember my mum walking me through the intensive care unit

and it genuinely felt like a dream.

It felt like I was watching it happen to somebody else.

I kissed him on his forehead and told him it was OK to go.

I'm totally to blame and it's my fault and I was stupid.

I feel like I've been kept here to pay for the mistake that

I've made and I do deserve it because someone's died.

Tonight on Inside Out, an extraordinary meeting ?

facing up to a fatal mistake.

When I had the message that she wanted to meet me,

I felt, why would she want to stare at a murderer?

Cos that's what I'm called.

I want to ask what he was thinking what possessed him to pick up

his mobile phone behind the wheel and to let him know

what we've had to go through.

We know it's illegal but it seems that's still not enough

We know it's illegal but it seems that's still not enough

to stop us using our mobile phones when driving.

Most of the time, no-one gets hurt but sometimes that

distraction can be fatal.

My name's Meg Williamson and my boyfriend, Gavin Roberts,

was killed by a driver using his mobile phone

last June on the A34.

One car had been travelling in the southbound direction

and Gavin had been going northbound.

And it was the southbound car that had smashed through the central

reservation and hit Gavin head on, on the other side of the road.

I know why I was on my phone, I was making calls to my girlfriend

at the time.

I was scared of losing her.

And, yeah, they were emotional calls and they were shouting calls.

High emotion calls, raging calls that shouldn't have been made that

night and I've got to live with that for ever and ever

and ever and ever.

At 24, Lewis Stratford's lucky to be alive.

He could never have imagined his frantic calls

to save his relationship would end a life.

Gavin was an Australian through and through.

He used to make me feel safe.

We'd talked about holidays potentially going out

to Australia together.

The plans that we had were exciting.

It was something we were both really looking forward to.

Gavin and schoolteacher Meg met when he moved to Swindon.

His work as an electrical engineer involved

long shifts on the railways.

He was working on the electrification and he would work

nights mostly and then just before the accident was his last

night shift and he was due to go and work days in the office.

So he wouldn't be making any long late night journeys.

He was on his way to work.

And then he was about six miles or so from work

and he just didn't make it.

I don't remember the incident.

I have no memory of any of it which, well,

I don't want to remember it but I can't remember any of it.

In Swindon, Meg was woken by a call from a friend telling her Gavin had

been in an accident.

I got to the hospital just after eight o'clock and they let me

in straightaway to see him and I went in and sat next to him

and he was just completely connected with tubes and monitors and I just

remember sitting next to him, begging him,

praying for him to wake up.

I'd give anything.

I'd have swapped places with him.

Lewis was rushed to the same hospital.

Doctors told his family to prepare for the worst.

I've read letters that were sent from the hospital to my GP

that night that said that I probably would deteriorate throughout

the night and the doctors told my family I had a 70% chance

of dying that night.

But for Gavin's family and Meg, the news was even worse.

The consultant took the family into the room and told them

there was nothing they could do and I just remember my legs

completely giving in.

I remember my mum grabbing hold of me and walking me

through the intensive care unit and it genuinely felt like a dream.

It felt like I was watching it happen to somebody else.

And as I stood up I kissed him on his forehead

and told him it was OK to go.

I told him not to be scared and that he could

still look after me.

Lewis wasn't told Gavin had died until after he was

discharged from hospital.

My dad and stepmum sat me down and they just told me everything.

I cried.

We was all in tears and I didn't want to get better then.

I was like, I didn't want the physio,

I didn't want the treatments.

I didn't care about my injuries.

Lewis has already pleaded guilty to causing Gavin's death

by dangerous driving.

Now, just days before he's due back in court to be sentenced,

Meg has asked to meet him.

I want to ask what he was thinking, what possessed him to pick

up his mobile phone behind the wheel.

I want know how he's feeling now,

how it might affect him and to let him know how I'm feeling,

how Gavin's family are feeling - what we've had to go through.

When I had the message that she wanted to meet me I felt

upset because I'm guilty and I feel like I'm a bad person.

I feel like I'm hated everywhere and I thought she'd hate me.

And I just I felt...why would she want to stare at a murderer?

In a rare encounter, Lewis has agreed to meet Meg

with our cameras present.

Meeting will clearly be tough for both of them.

Meg wants time to think through what she's going to say.

Gavin and I used to come walking along here

when the weather allowed it.

It was just a time to kind of just be us two and block

the rest of the world out.

Do you know what the first thing you're going to

say to Lewis might be?

Have you thought about that?

I'm hoping he's going to start the conversation.

It's the morning of the meeting.

Lewis is first to arrive.

I'm really nervous.

A little bit scared.

I'm a little bit shaky, I can't keep still at the minute.

Playing with my kind of elastic band to try

and focus my mind a little bit.

Just how he's going to react when he first sees me.

I suppose how I'm going to react as well, if I'm

going to kind of freak out or sit down

and have a normal conversation with him and also

what questions I'm going to ask him cos I don't

want to miss anything out.

I think I'm thinking about how he's feeling.

Not so much kind of what he's done but how is he feeling seeing me

so close and knowing that I'm going to be asking

him the questions.

Yeah, I dunno, it's so difficult to describe.

I know I've caused a lot of pain, for a lot of people,

with something that could have waited till the next day.

I know that.

I know what I've done, I know the lives I've ruined, yeah.

I've ruined a lot of people's lives, happiness.

And I deserve everything I get from whatever

comes now - hate, anger.

I can't, you know...

I am sorry but I can't keep saying sorry cos

I know people don't want to hear it.

You can only just...

Sorry's not going to make things better, I know.

Ever.

What were you arguing with the ex-girlfriend about?

She was due to come up to me on the Friday night but she said no

and then we was arguing all day Saturday so I'd go down

on the Sunday morning, but I got in on Saturday night

and I just drove down, angrily.

She was on the phone as the crash happened and she just said she heard

like scraping and brakes screeching and then obviously the impact

was quite loud, she said.

She said it was quite loud.

He was just minding his own business that night and I just...

That's what I think about all the time.

I try and think what the other car, what he must have seen.

I dunno, I hate to...

I just wanted to know, did you say he was just

going to work?

He was just going to work.

Just makes me feel horrible.

Before the crash, Lewis worked as a painter and decorator.

Life revolved around family and friends.

I'm just a normal 24-year-old guy who just works,

lives at home with his parents, can't afford a place of his own yet.

I'm nothing special.

I've lived here nearly 20 years with my family.

Grown up round this area.

Used to play football in the field over there with friends.

And this is the way I'd walk to the football match.

This is the stadium, the way we walk in.

It's usually obviously busy, busier than it is now.

That's where all the singing goes on, in that stand there,

but my granddad likes to keep quiet so we sit with him in

the south stand - keep him happy.

He brings the sweets.

This is where we go in to our seats.

Well, we can go in any of them really but we tend

to use three and four.

And that leads us out to our seats ? front row on the south stand.

It's a good seat.

When someone gets convicted of a crime or an offence,

you never get to see what that person's like

and what background they got.

Everyone assumes that they're bad.

I went to work five days a week, came home, ate dinner,

played darts and bar billiards in the week,

come to football on the weekend.

Love my family, love friends.

But I've obviously lost my job, lost my car,

I've ruined someone else's life.

You don't know what's round the corner.

You don't know what's coming tomorrow.

Knowing how much Gavin meant to others is comforting to Meg.

Today, she's meeting his workmates, Yuga and Ashton.

Gavin was absolutely amazing.

He was really really good at his work.

He was one of the ones that you know you can depend on.

It's rare you see such a high level engineer with such

a good sense of humour.

He was a funny guy and he was one of the best engineers

I've ever worked with.

This is one of the engineering trains that was named after Gavin

in his honour and it's so special because it is one of the only trains

that have been named after somebody and apart from Brunel

in the past 100 years.

It's so important for me to be able to remember him by what he used

to love and the job that he did and how much of a difference

he was making.

I can't stop on the A34.

I can't pull over to one side

and remember him and see where it all happened.

I laid flowers shortly after the accident with a police

escort but just to be able to pass by this engineering train and smile

is enough for me to kind of feel something and be happy

that he's close by.

Obviously, I felt like I hadn't done it.

I was like, am I capable

of something like that I didn't think I'd be...

I couldn't believe that I could have done it but I had and I have

to accept it and face it.

What injuries did they tell you you had?

I don't want to, like, go on about them

because they're nothing compared

to what happened but I had a leg, I broke this left leg

and I tore my aorta, had a stent fitted in that and some

internal injuries that they had to put me in a coma to keep me

breathing because my lungs were quite squashed.

My auntie's told me that I took off my mask my oxygen mask

and said to her it was my fault.

I kept saying it was my fault, it was my fault.

They didn't tell me what had happened but I knew

I was in trouble, cos the police were bringing my stuff

from the car in the bags, yeah.

How has it affected your family?

They've obviously had to go into work and know their son's some

sort of murderer as I've been called by some people,

at my stepmum's workplace, saying your son's killed someone.

Now he should be put in prison for life.

Are you...?

Are you angry at me?

A little bit.

But then so many people do it, so many people,

but it was a stupid mistake.

I don't want to hate you forever, I'm not that type of person,

and eventually I'll probably be able to forgive you.

But I just needed some questions answering first.

To be honest, I expected the hate and the abuse.

I don't know what you're like.

I don't know...

I expect it from anyone that seen me on the street.

They want to have a go then I'll listen to and I'lI accept anything

that people have got to say.

I was scared to meet you.

As a first time offender, prison's a daunting prospect

for Lewis so he and his stepmum are looking up what he

needs to take with him.

I feel like I have been kept here to pay for this.

I feel like I've been kept here to pay for the mistake

I've made and punished, really.

That's my dad, granddad in the middle, FA Cup and me

with the Premier League.

While Lewis packs mementos of the family he'll be leaving

behind, Gavin's never far from his thoughts.

Feel like I know him but I don't.

I feel like I've met him, some of the dreams I've had.

Tell me about those dreams.

Just being in the car, raining, it's just darkness.

And I'm sort of in the car.

His face, his picture, it's just there.

Do you think that will ever leave you?

No.

What do you think the public's perception of you is?

Um, murderer, stupid idiot.

I accept the stupid idiot.

I'm not a murderer, that's one comment I won't accept

because I didn't mean it.

And I didn't mean to end his life.

I was so angry, so angry.

And it was Gavin's mum, really, that showed the compassion and said

that we have to remember other people are involved and at that

point it was more of a realisation for me that somebody's stupid

mistake has caused something so traumatic for so many people.

After the accident, Meg took solace in writing down all her thoughts

from her time with Gavin.

This wasn't our future.

We had plans.

Paris, Bruges, Northern Lights, Australia, graduation.

I wrote to him every day.

I filled a book with letters and notes, just so that he knew

what I was up to, what I was doing, that I was thinking of him.

You say you wrote to him.

Was that while he was here or after he passed away?

No, I wrote to him after he passed away.

It was easier for me to talk to him like that.

Why is it so important to you to have this box of memories?

I guess because I'm scared I'm going to forget him.

You start to have days where life feels normal and then you feel

guilty because you're still here

and I've been suffering really badly with my anxiety.

Getting on to that road is really difficult but I have

sisters that travel on it, friends who travel

on it every single day.

So it probably adds to my worry.

I think I'm more conscious when I'm driving mostly of other

drivers on the road now and if they are on their phone

you know I just think that they don't realise and a lot

of people just don't care cos they don't think it's

going to happen to them.

No-one thinks it will happen to them and it shouldn't take something

like this for them to think, oh, well, let's not be using the phone,

people should know before.

I learned the hard way but it shouldn't have to be this way.

So what now, going forwards?

What happens?

Every time I look at my phone I don't want to...

I just look at this phone and I'm thinking,

I don't, I can't want to answer it

every time and if I could live without a phone I would as well.

I wouldn't use a phone again.

I won't ever drive again.

Ever.

What would you say to somebody who's going to pick up their phone

behind the wheel today without even thinking about it?

Don't do it cos picking up a phone no matter how nice you are or how

good you are, accidents like this can happen to anyone on the road

by using a phone.

Something I gotta learn for, something I gotta pay the price

for and I will learn from it.

Thank you for agreeing to meet me and answering my questions.

I know it's been hard.

I just want you to know that I am sorry.

When people hear about this they assume automatically that

I'm some person that hasn't got on with life and people that just

cause trouble day in day out but I know I'm not that guy.

I've been brought up well, I never had a bad family,

never had a bad upbringing, I've got no excuse for what's happened

so I just want to say sorry for everything

and thanks for meeting me.

Yeah.

At the end of a gruelling 50 minutes together,

Meg gets some fresh air,

leaving Lewis to reflect on the meeting.

It's hard for me to get across to her how sorry I am

because something that's so tragic has happened like this.

Sorry's not enough and I said that it was a cheap way just to keep

saying sorry but there's no other way that I can think

of that would make it up.

I think he was a lot softer and a lot more open

than I expected him to be.

He was really forthcoming with his answers

and quite happy to talk.

He was very apologetic.

I'm pleased I've done it.

I'm pleased I've had the opportunity to let Lewis know how

I have been impacted, how I have been feeling but also,

you know, to hear him actually say that it was a stupid mistake

and that, you know, he's aware of what he's done and he's upset

and how it's affected him and his family has given me a little

bit of closure, I think.

I'm happy that I've met Meg, I'm happy that she wanted to meet me.

And I hope it provides closure that will help her move on and help us,

help me get through this as well, the next chapter of

serving a punishment.

But more importantly, hopefully, she finds a way

that it can help her.

Lewis Stratford will receive his sentence later this week.

I'd like to hear your thoughts about that story ? drop me an email.

[email protected].

That's it for now.

More stories from the South same time next week.

Till then, bye.

If you've been affected by any of the issues

raised in this programme, there's help and advice

at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Join Sally Taylor on BBC local radio tomorrow morning from 9am

for a special programme discussing the safety of the A34.

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