Seeking Someone Special

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07Mum will have to learn that I'm with James and I'm happy with James.

0:00:07 > 0:00:11The very best you could want is for them to be independent.

0:00:11 > 0:00:13It's a real conflict of interest to step in

0:00:13 > 0:00:17and say, "Hang on a minute, I think we need to do something here."

0:00:17 > 0:00:20I've found someone... found someone at last!

0:00:20 > 0:00:24He always goes for, like, stunners.

0:00:24 > 0:00:29She kinda said that she had a boyfriend, and I was upset.

0:00:29 > 0:00:33You've got normal girls eyeing him up and then he makes a face,

0:00:33 > 0:00:38and that's it. And he's such a lovely boy, it's a shame.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41This film follows three young people with a learning disability

0:00:41 > 0:00:45as they struggle to assert their independence,

0:00:45 > 0:00:49fight loneliness and get their heads round the dating scene.

0:00:50 > 0:00:53Just like everyone else, people with learning disabilities

0:00:53 > 0:00:55want independence and love.

0:00:55 > 0:00:58So will they find that someone special?

0:00:58 > 0:01:01"Do you have a boyfriend?"

0:01:07 > 0:01:10Richard Brownlie is 25.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13He is just one of 120,000 people in Scotland who have

0:01:13 > 0:01:16a learning disability. He lives in Larkhall

0:01:16 > 0:01:17with his mum and dad.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21He likes wrestling, gladiators,

0:01:21 > 0:01:24acting and posing,

0:01:24 > 0:01:25but most of all, he likes girls.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29This is everything, posters of people,

0:01:29 > 0:01:32hot women and all that type of thing.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34But there's a problem.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38As well as a learning disability, he also has Asperger's,

0:01:38 > 0:01:41a form of autism which makes social interaction difficult.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44'I feel really disappointed about things that I don't get to do'

0:01:44 > 0:01:47because I'm Asperger's.

0:01:47 > 0:01:50Richard's never had a serious relationship.

0:01:50 > 0:01:52He's desperate to get experience,

0:01:52 > 0:01:55and now he may have his chance.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59She's pretty, she's gorgeous, she's good-looking,

0:01:59 > 0:02:02she's more capable of doing all the stuff that I want to do,

0:02:02 > 0:02:04she turns up on time!

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Which is good.

0:02:06 > 0:02:11She's brilliant, aye. She's good, aye, absolutely good.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13Richard's only been going out with Nastasja,

0:02:13 > 0:02:16who also has Asperger's, for three days now.

0:02:16 > 0:02:18What would you want to happen in the future?

0:02:18 > 0:02:24Having her round at my house, having her round during the holidays

0:02:24 > 0:02:29having her round for a barbecue, if my mum and dad are having one.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33My favourite barbecue food is cheeseburgers,

0:02:33 > 0:02:36because they're lovely, they're tasty and they're delicious!

0:02:36 > 0:02:42While Richard's making plans, it turns out Nastasja has other ideas.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45"Richard, I don't feel...

0:02:45 > 0:02:50"we are right for each other.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52"Good luck for the future."

0:02:53 > 0:02:54Oh, shit!

0:02:57 > 0:03:01Well, why don't you put "Let's talk," "Let's talk about this,"

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- and see what she says to that? - Right, no bother! Thanks.

0:03:04 > 0:03:07See, it's things like that that he doesn't know how to handle it,

0:03:07 > 0:03:10he's getting upset now.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12He's such a lovely boy, it's a shame.

0:03:13 > 0:03:18I'm disgruntled, I'm upset, and I have never been this mad!

0:03:18 > 0:03:20And I really am mad just now,

0:03:20 > 0:03:23but don't worry, I'll find the right girl, and I hope I do.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27Who is really, really nice.

0:03:31 > 0:03:34- Clear, go!- Thanks, darling.

0:03:35 > 0:03:40Two months later, and Richard has stuck to his word.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43He's found a girlfriend, just in time for Valentine's.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48Jillian. That's what she looks like.

0:03:48 > 0:03:53It's lovely having a photograph, you know, it's always brilliant.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56It's always nice, you know.

0:03:59 > 0:04:06"I like you, Richard, you are a nice boy to me.

0:04:06 > 0:04:11"He is good-looking, I love him to bits."

0:04:12 > 0:04:15Richard met Jillian at a training course on relationships

0:04:15 > 0:04:18for people with learning disabilities and autism.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21He is absolutely full of himself.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24He said, "Mum, Mum, erm, Jillian's my girlfriend

0:04:24 > 0:04:30- "and make sure you tell Dad." - "I love you, you're hot."

0:04:31 > 0:04:34From our point of view, it's experience for him,

0:04:34 > 0:04:37and that's what we think is good for him.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Without going out with a girl,

0:04:39 > 0:04:41he will never learn how to treat a girl,

0:04:41 > 0:04:46or how to decide who is right for him and who isn't right for him.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51As Richard seeks out the perfect gift for Jillian,

0:04:51 > 0:04:53he runs his ideas past Mum.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56I quite fancy going to Internacionale for earrings for her.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Right, write that down then.

0:04:58 > 0:05:01'He said "Relationships are difficult, Mum, and I find it really difficult."

0:05:01 > 0:05:04'I said, "So do people that haven't got Asperger's."

0:05:04 > 0:05:07'When you start going out with somebody,'

0:05:07 > 0:05:08you don't really know what to do.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11She likes lipshine, like lipstick and that.

0:05:11 > 0:05:12Does she?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Are you sure it's not just you that likes buying that?

0:05:15 > 0:05:17Yeah.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18All right, put it down then.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22'He wants to be like everyone else, he wants to have a normal life

0:05:22 > 0:05:24'and I think deep down inside

0:05:24 > 0:05:26'he knows Asperger's kind of holds him back.'

0:05:27 > 0:05:30Oh, that's quite nice, I think she'll like that.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33- I think I'll get that for my Valentine.- OK.

0:05:35 > 0:05:38There are lots of different kinds of learning disability.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41Sometimes there's no clear cause, other times,

0:05:41 > 0:05:45it's linked to a condition like autism or Downs Syndrome.

0:05:48 > 0:05:53Natasha has Downs Syndrome - a genetic condition

0:05:53 > 0:05:55which causes learning disabilities.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58While many people like her struggle just to get by,

0:05:58 > 0:06:01Natasha is a role model for her peers.

0:06:01 > 0:06:04Today she's going to give a talk to a group of medical students

0:06:04 > 0:06:06about what it's like to live with the condition.

0:06:08 > 0:06:13I want you to understand that although I have Downs Syndrome,

0:06:13 > 0:06:17it is just a small part of who I really am.

0:06:17 > 0:06:23Downs Syndrome affects 1 in 1,000 people all over the world.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29Most people with Downs Syndrome can do the same things

0:06:29 > 0:06:34as everyone else, but may need help with things like schoolwork,

0:06:34 > 0:06:40going to college, shopping, sorting out money, or living alone.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45This is me. I am 22 years old

0:06:45 > 0:06:49and I work in a cafe called The Engine Shed.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53This is James.

0:06:53 > 0:07:00James celebrated his 30th birthday on 3rd February.

0:07:00 > 0:07:05He also works in a supermarket, and is learning to drive.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07He has his own flat

0:07:07 > 0:07:10and he is engaged to be married to me.

0:07:12 > 0:07:16I just want to live with her and love her.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22And spend my whole life with her.

0:07:23 > 0:07:28Until recently, Natasha and James had been living together,

0:07:28 > 0:07:32but then something happened that made Natasha return to her parents'.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35Living together again is all the couple dream of.

0:07:35 > 0:07:38When Natasha's not around,

0:07:38 > 0:07:41it's a bit emotional.

0:07:41 > 0:07:45I love her that much, I want her back.

0:07:51 > 0:07:54While Natasha and James see through their challenges,

0:07:54 > 0:07:5831-year-old Peter Bowers is still on the lookout.

0:07:58 > 0:08:00What kind of girlfriend would you like, then?

0:08:00 > 0:08:05Blonde, beautiful, nice, slim, no' too cheeky and that.

0:08:06 > 0:08:08Peter has not only has learning disabilities,

0:08:08 > 0:08:13he also has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15This can make him excitable

0:08:15 > 0:08:18and means he finds it difficult to focus.

0:08:18 > 0:08:24Luckily, he's found a job where his ADHD works to his advantage.

0:08:24 > 0:08:26DJ Bowers is cool.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33He's number 1 DJ.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36If you want him for a party, I'll gie you my number.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39Freedom! FREEDOM!

0:08:39 > 0:08:44It says Mr Disc Jockey, DJ t-shirt, lights up and everything.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46When the lights go down it will be all smooth and disco-y,

0:08:46 > 0:08:50disco lights, disco lights, disco lights.

0:08:53 > 0:08:56For Peter, DJing isn't just a job -

0:08:56 > 0:08:58he also hopes it will lead him to love.

0:08:58 > 0:09:04Ladies love DJs, because they're smartly dressed, all gelled hair.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08They're nice, they're smart, they request songs for the girls.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Turn me on, darlin'!

0:09:11 > 0:09:17While at work he's Mr Disco, back in his Glasgow flat, Peter lives alone.

0:09:17 > 0:09:21This room is my bedroom,

0:09:21 > 0:09:24with my bike and everything, a mess as usual.

0:09:24 > 0:09:29- That's basically my bedroom. - What's it like living on your own?

0:09:31 > 0:09:36Good. I sometimes I get a lonely feel when I'm on my own,

0:09:36 > 0:09:39I get a wee bit upset when I've no friends or that.

0:09:40 > 0:09:45That's my sister, when we were younger, I think it was 1982.

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Peter was brought up in care.

0:09:48 > 0:09:52Soon after this picture was taken, he and his sisters were separated.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54He has little family contact

0:09:54 > 0:09:58and is desperate to have someone special in his life.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02I've asked and they've went "No, I've got a boyfriend,"

0:10:02 > 0:10:05or they've probably said they've got a boyfriend.

0:10:05 > 0:10:11I need love and I need a girlfriend because I don't like being single.

0:10:17 > 0:10:19It's Valentine's, and Glasgow City Chambers

0:10:19 > 0:10:21is host to the biggest event

0:10:21 > 0:10:23in the learning disabilities social calendar -

0:10:23 > 0:10:26the Dates'n'Mates Valentine's Ball.

0:10:26 > 0:10:31Here people with and without learning disabilities get to mingle.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36Rich, you should go and sort out your money.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Are you going to be buying Jillian a drink tonight?- Yes.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43For Richard, it's an extra-special occasion.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47He's taking his new girlfriend to the big event.

0:10:49 > 0:10:55I don't know if it's behaving itself today, Rich. That's it, right.

0:10:55 > 0:10:57Have a look and see what you think.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Are you happy, or do you want me to change it?

0:10:59 > 0:11:01Yeah.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Now, have you put your aftershave on?

0:11:10 > 0:11:11Watch the eyes, watch the eyes!

0:11:14 > 0:11:18It's the first time he's been out to a dance with a girl.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21And he's relying on his mum's advice for help.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23What if Jillian doesn't want to dance,

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- what are you going to do? - Dance with a different girl.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29Right, now, do you think that that will upset Jillian?

0:11:29 > 0:11:33I don't know. I'll need to ask her when I get to the dance.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Well done, but don't ask her right away.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38- Ask permission from Jill. - That's right.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40And what if she says no?

0:11:40 > 0:11:41I'll just go and dance myself.

0:11:41 > 0:11:46Well, that's better then, that's a good answer.

0:11:46 > 0:11:49Because she might not like you dancing with other girls.

0:11:49 > 0:11:54All I can do is do what my dad said, is get girlfriends' phone numbers,

0:11:54 > 0:11:56like chat a lot to get to know them,

0:11:56 > 0:11:58but I need to ask Jillian first to see if it's OK.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Well, I don't know about that when you're taking a girl!

0:12:01 > 0:12:04You can't go around getting other girls' phone numbers.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06Think about how you would feel

0:12:06 > 0:12:09if she went and she started getting phone numbers

0:12:09 > 0:12:12of all the chaps that were there?

0:12:12 > 0:12:15- How would you feel? If she was busy doing that.- Angry.

0:12:15 > 0:12:17And remember you've always got to look after?

0:12:17 > 0:12:22- Jillian.- That's right, and most of all, you've got to...

0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Listen and think.- Well done.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29MUSIC: "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps

0:12:31 > 0:12:34At the ball, DJ Bowers has arrived.

0:12:34 > 0:12:35Unlike Richard,

0:12:35 > 0:12:39it looks like he already knows just how to talk to the ladies.

0:12:39 > 0:12:44Oh, thank you! Will you dance with me?

0:12:47 > 0:12:49I just pulled!

0:12:49 > 0:12:54I danced with her and then I gave her a balloon

0:12:54 > 0:12:56that said "I love you" on it.

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- They're a good band, aren't they? - Yeah.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03This is the first time I've been to an event like this,

0:13:03 > 0:13:05so it was nice to get to know Pete

0:13:05 > 0:13:08and he's really friendly as well, so...it's nice.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12There you go, I've found someone! I've found someone at last!

0:13:12 > 0:13:15She's a nice attractive woman,

0:13:15 > 0:13:17she's nice and she's pretty

0:13:17 > 0:13:22and I want to ask her out and all that,

0:13:22 > 0:13:24but I get the butterflies in my stomach

0:13:24 > 0:13:29if I ask someone out, in case something wrong goes wrong.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Hello!

0:13:32 > 0:13:36Richard's date starts off smoothly as well.

0:13:36 > 0:13:38That's for you, my love!

0:13:38 > 0:13:40Thank you.

0:13:40 > 0:13:42That's a teddy for Jillian.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Excuse me a minute.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47There's your card from me...

0:13:47 > 0:13:50That's a lovely perfume for you, honey.

0:13:50 > 0:13:54As Richard gives Jillian her gifts, her mum looks on.

0:13:54 > 0:13:58Are you spending all your money on her? Perfume! Oh!

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Richard is head over heels for Jill,

0:14:01 > 0:14:05and the feeling is very mutual.

0:14:05 > 0:14:09That's the love letters as well, that I've written out for you.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12She's only looking for the same as you or I

0:14:12 > 0:14:14are looking for, and that's to be loved.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Jill just deserves the same as we deserve.

0:14:23 > 0:14:24Stop a minute.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31I am...

0:14:31 > 0:14:37I am so happy for Jill just now, because she is happy.

0:14:38 > 0:14:41I think unless you're in the position

0:14:41 > 0:14:43of having a special needs child,

0:14:43 > 0:14:48sometimes you don't understand some of the problems

0:14:48 > 0:14:52that we as parents have to go through.

0:14:52 > 0:14:56It would be wrong for us to hold her back

0:14:56 > 0:14:58because she's only doing, really, what comes natural.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04Oh! With Jillian it's been brilliant!

0:15:04 > 0:15:06Getting on well with Jillian,

0:15:06 > 0:15:09spending some time to get to know her, and dancing with her.

0:15:09 > 0:15:14Jillian, she's a nice-looking babe, I like, love and fancy her.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16She's hot, she's sexy, she's good-looking,

0:15:16 > 0:15:19she's all of these things, you know.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Oh, man,

0:15:23 > 0:15:26it was awesome kissing Jillian -

0:15:26 > 0:15:29I preferred the lips better than the tongues, you know,

0:15:29 > 0:15:33that's all I remember, all I remember!

0:15:34 > 0:15:39Richard may be having a good night, but Peter's just had some bad news.

0:15:41 > 0:15:44We'll stay friends but, you can keep in touch with me.

0:15:44 > 0:15:49She kinda said she had a boyfriend and all that,

0:15:49 > 0:15:52so she had a boyfriend and I was upset

0:15:52 > 0:15:55and I just said we'll stay as friends and we'll keep in touch.

0:15:56 > 0:16:00It's been a good night, I've enjoyed myself.

0:16:00 > 0:16:06I'm keeping my options open for whoever comes, for any nice girl.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09Are we going, then? See you later.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11As Peter leaves, Richard has a plan.

0:16:11 > 0:16:1450 pence.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18He's bought a Valentine's card for Jillian to give to him.

0:16:18 > 0:16:21Remember and put "I love you" on it!

0:16:21 > 0:16:22Don't worry, I will!

0:16:24 > 0:16:28Look, Valentine's card!

0:16:28 > 0:16:30That means I get two!

0:16:33 > 0:16:35- Let me kiss you, please.- Aye, OK.

0:16:37 > 0:16:40Time to say his goodbyes and return back home.

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Did Jillian give you that?

0:16:43 > 0:16:46I bought it for her, so she could give it to me to write.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48Oh, Richard, you're not supposed to do that!

0:16:48 > 0:16:52That's you there, that's her, isn't it?

0:16:52 > 0:16:54That's me and Jillian.

0:16:54 > 0:16:57That's lovely, going to a dance with your girlfriend!

0:16:57 > 0:16:59It's really crackin', isn't it?

0:16:59 > 0:17:02Oh, it is, son, it really is, son.

0:17:08 > 0:17:09While Richard lives with his mum,

0:17:09 > 0:17:13for two years Natasha had been living independently

0:17:13 > 0:17:16with her fiance in his flat in Edinburgh.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18James is one of a rare breed of people

0:17:18 > 0:17:21with learning disabilities who owns his own home.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28Then, seven months ago, Natasha's parents became so concerned

0:17:28 > 0:17:31about her weight, they asked if she would agree

0:17:31 > 0:17:33to move from Edinburgh back to their house in Cumbernauld.

0:17:33 > 0:17:37When she moved through to Edinburgh, she was a size 10,

0:17:39 > 0:17:42and within a year and two months she was kind of like a size 22.

0:17:42 > 0:17:50I was shocked when I was not going to be living with James.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53They said, "You've put on a lot of weight,

0:17:53 > 0:17:56"and we're here to help you to lose the weight."

0:17:56 > 0:17:59She likes her food, basically.

0:17:59 > 0:18:02She likes her food, and when her and James get together

0:18:02 > 0:18:05they spend so much time BEING together

0:18:05 > 0:18:09they forget to do the everyday things like taking exercise

0:18:09 > 0:18:13and maybe planning food and shopping and then eating sensibly,

0:18:13 > 0:18:17I think relied a lot on takeaways and meals out and things like that.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22She had terrible stretch marks,

0:18:22 > 0:18:25they were the physical things you could see,

0:18:25 > 0:18:28- but then she had problems walking. - She was breathless.

0:18:28 > 0:18:33Breathless after about 20 yards, couldn't really walk any distance.

0:18:33 > 0:18:38It was like self-destruction in front of our eyes, it was shocking.

0:18:38 > 0:18:45I felt kind of upset because... they knew me since I was born,

0:18:45 > 0:18:51and I was a lot slimmer when I was that age.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55And when they saw me get bigger, it broke their heart.

0:18:56 > 0:18:59My worry was that she would just get heavier and heavier

0:18:59 > 0:19:02and end up being totally immobile.

0:19:02 > 0:19:04I just thought that that was a real health issue

0:19:04 > 0:19:07and the best thing to do was to step in and do something.

0:19:07 > 0:19:09We thought James would end up as her carer,

0:19:09 > 0:19:12which is a completely bonkers situation.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17Body Pump this morning, has it started yet?

0:19:17 > 0:19:19No, it's not started.

0:19:19 > 0:19:22Natasha's parents have set her a target -

0:19:22 > 0:19:25she must go from her old 14 stone back to a healthy 8.5

0:19:25 > 0:19:27before she can move back in with James.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30Natasha is working really hard to reach this target.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33My mum and dad have done me a timetable

0:19:33 > 0:19:35of things that I need to do.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39Zumba class on a Monday morning at quarter past ten,

0:19:39 > 0:19:44I've got an easy aerobics class at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday,

0:19:44 > 0:19:49got a body pump, boxercise, another zumba class.

0:19:49 > 0:19:51All this hard work is having a dramatic effect.

0:19:51 > 0:19:57These are a size 22, and...

0:19:57 > 0:20:00I can put them on this way,

0:20:00 > 0:20:03and I've lost that much weight.

0:20:03 > 0:20:08It feels kind of strange because I used to fit into them.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11Although Natasha spends weekdays at home, her parents have agreed

0:20:11 > 0:20:15to a compromise which means she can spend her weekends with James.

0:20:15 > 0:20:20I'm going out tonight, so...that with that.

0:20:20 > 0:20:25I'm packing to see James tonight

0:20:25 > 0:20:29and I'm going to be spending the weekend with him.

0:20:29 > 0:20:34When I first saw James...

0:20:34 > 0:20:40he...was all nice to me...

0:20:40 > 0:20:46and...nice and he used to spoil me with nice things.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I didn't actually choose the ring.

0:20:49 > 0:20:52When I got a bit bigger, it didn't fit

0:20:52 > 0:20:55so I had to have like a chain,

0:20:55 > 0:20:58like you just saw there, around my neck.

0:20:58 > 0:21:01How does it feel to be able to wear it again?

0:21:01 > 0:21:05It's good actually, but sometimes I can't take it off

0:21:05 > 0:21:06cos it's a bit hard to take off.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13As Natasha packs to leave, her mum has her concerns.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16We find that when she goes back through to Edinburgh,

0:21:16 > 0:21:22she tends to put... She either puts weight on or doesn't lose as much.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24It kind of slows down her progress.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26I like my food...

0:21:26 > 0:21:31but I intend not to eat an awful lot

0:21:31 > 0:21:35because I know I'm on a healthy eating thing.

0:21:35 > 0:21:40I'm on a healthy eating plan, so I'm not going to eat a lot of food.

0:21:40 > 0:21:42And I won't eat chips!

0:21:44 > 0:21:48Say hi to James, give him my love, have a nice weekend.

0:21:48 > 0:21:50- I will.- Watch what you're eating!

0:21:50 > 0:21:54- I will!- OK. Love you, Mum.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56Love you too!

0:21:59 > 0:22:03While Natasha longs for an independent life away from her family,

0:22:03 > 0:22:06like 70% of adults with learning disabilities,

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Peter already lives by himself.

0:22:08 > 0:22:10But that doesn't mean he's independent.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13- Did you boil the kettle? - No, do you want to put it on?

0:22:13 > 0:22:16- You've got stock cubes, haven't you? - Yeah.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Peter has support 9-5, Monday to Saturday.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22- We can always blend it afterwards. - Yeah.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23And life can still be lonely.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25There you go.

0:22:25 > 0:22:28He's got a small circle of friends,

0:22:28 > 0:22:31so obviously we need to try increase that

0:22:31 > 0:22:36so we're trying to get activities for him where he can do things and meet people.

0:22:36 > 0:22:40Hopefully from that he'll gain friendships.

0:22:40 > 0:22:43A real life, rather than a support team round him.

0:22:45 > 0:22:49Smells lovely, that's good. Soup's up!

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- OK, Pete, so until tomorrow!- Yeah.

0:22:52 > 0:22:55- See you later, Tom! - See you then.- Aye.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57So what's your plans for tonight?

0:22:57 > 0:22:59Just sit in and watch the telly.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02- And you've got your soup in there, don't forget that.- Yeah, I will.

0:23:02 > 0:23:08- Nice. See you later, Tom! - See you, Pete, cheers!- Bye, bye!

0:23:09 > 0:23:14At five o'clock, when his support worker goes home, Peter is all alone.

0:23:19 > 0:23:26Fish, mmm! I don't like fish, don't like fish, hate fish.

0:23:26 > 0:23:27I like bacon, though.

0:23:30 > 0:23:33I might phone Hughie and see if he wants to talk to me.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35My pal Hughie.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Hello, Hughie, how are you?

0:23:39 > 0:23:41Are you wanting me to come up later?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47Right, OK. Bye, bye.

0:23:47 > 0:23:52Naw, Hughie doesn't want me to come down to his bit today.

0:23:56 > 0:23:57Turning him over.

0:23:57 > 0:24:01The bacon looks a bit on the crispy side.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Taking the fish.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Hmm.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Back in Larkhall, Richard's lucky enough to have a supportive family round him.

0:24:17 > 0:24:22Before you go out, check keys to get back in.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25As far as his family are concerned,

0:24:25 > 0:24:29trying to get Richard a girlfriend is just part of the bigger effort

0:24:29 > 0:24:32of preparing him for life on his own.

0:24:32 > 0:24:33The point of lifeskills

0:24:33 > 0:24:41is trying to get him to be able to independently look after a house,

0:24:41 > 0:24:42for when he's able to move out.

0:24:42 > 0:24:44And in his room,

0:24:44 > 0:24:48you have to get everything organised, otherwise it gets a bit chaotic.

0:24:48 > 0:24:52Cards, sunglasses, cases, sunglasses.

0:24:53 > 0:24:58Pants, always remember labels so you all know what they are.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03Would you not just know what they were by looking at them?

0:25:03 > 0:25:05No, no chance!

0:25:05 > 0:25:09I have to roll them up so they're in the correct places, the pants.

0:25:10 > 0:25:14Teaching Richard to be independent has not been easy for either Richard or his family,

0:25:14 > 0:25:17as his brother knows.

0:25:17 > 0:25:21When Mum and Dad first started trying to get him

0:25:21 > 0:25:24to be independent, for example, Rich would go into the living room

0:25:24 > 0:25:26and turn the fire on.

0:25:26 > 0:25:29Now, we use a handheld clicker to light the fire.

0:25:29 > 0:25:32If that's not there, Rich will go and look for it with the gas on.

0:25:32 > 0:25:36He'll just go hunting for it, so the gas will fill up in the room

0:25:36 > 0:25:41while he's looking for this hand-held clicker and he doesn't understand that that's dangerous!

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Oh, shit! Time already!

0:25:45 > 0:25:51Everything has to be trained, everything has to be like practical,

0:25:51 > 0:25:55and once it's practical, it has to be reinforced and reinforced and reinforced,

0:25:55 > 0:25:58and soon as you've done that, you're onto the next thing.

0:25:58 > 0:26:03And this is why we've always been for his independence

0:26:03 > 0:26:08because everything in his life is training him to cope.

0:26:08 > 0:26:09Oh, shit!

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Richard would love to have a job.

0:26:13 > 0:26:17Instead, he does a work placement for two hours a week at Subway.

0:26:17 > 0:26:18It may not be real work,

0:26:18 > 0:26:21but at least it gives him experience.

0:26:23 > 0:26:28He was in college for a few years, but the nature of Rich's disability,

0:26:28 > 0:26:31they won't let him do a course where there's an exam.

0:26:31 > 0:26:34They say he's not capable enough to sit an exam.

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Rich wants to work

0:26:36 > 0:26:41but the difficulty being is that no-one wants to take him on because of his disability,

0:26:41 > 0:26:44and he can't go to college to learn anything.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47Have to go work.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53The nature of Rich's condition, routine is such a big part of it,

0:26:53 > 0:26:57that it's easy for him to fall into a loop, and do the same thing over and over,

0:26:57 > 0:27:00and that's fine, it's keeping him out of trouble,

0:27:00 > 0:27:03but he's not getting much quality of life,

0:27:03 > 0:27:06and we've found that through pushing him into new experiences,

0:27:06 > 0:27:10pushing him into situations where has to make his mind up,

0:27:10 > 0:27:13his horizons are just so much fuller now.

0:27:27 > 0:27:30Natasha is back in Edinburgh with her fiance James

0:27:30 > 0:27:33and they're marking the occasion with a meal out together.

0:27:35 > 0:27:37I don't mind if we share or not, I don't mind.

0:27:37 > 0:27:40But the week's separation has been difficult for them.

0:27:40 > 0:27:47I had a feeling like you have lost something on your body.

0:27:47 > 0:27:48Like your arm or your leg,

0:27:48 > 0:27:52and you have the sensation that it's still there.

0:27:52 > 0:27:54That's how I feel about James now.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57I don't want to lose him.

0:28:03 > 0:28:06How do you feel when I am not there?

0:28:07 > 0:28:14I have this toy and I cuddle that when I'm in bed.

0:28:14 > 0:28:16And I think about you all the time.

0:28:16 > 0:28:22You know that song that you and me cry to in that film, Titanic?

0:28:22 > 0:28:27I always cry to it when you're not there.

0:28:28 > 0:28:31- Are you enjoying it? - Thanks, really lovely.

0:28:33 > 0:28:39I want to see him more, so I can be apart from my mum and dad.

0:28:39 > 0:28:44So I can live back here again and do all the things I used to do

0:28:44 > 0:28:49like stay up until the crack of dawn

0:28:49 > 0:28:53or go out to clubs or to restaurants.

0:28:54 > 0:28:56Thank you.

0:28:57 > 0:29:00- That's one big bone, baby.- I know.

0:29:02 > 0:29:06I can't find the words to say how much I love you. And...

0:29:08 > 0:29:14This is your home and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

0:29:18 > 0:29:19I love you too.

0:29:27 > 0:29:31In the morning, Natasha packs to return to her parents'.

0:29:34 > 0:29:37So how do you feel about going at the end of the weekend?

0:29:37 > 0:29:40A bit upset because I'm leaving James here.

0:29:43 > 0:29:45I get to see him every weekend, but...

0:29:46 > 0:29:51All I have to do is wait four days and then he comes, don't you, James?

0:29:51 > 0:29:55Yep. Mainly...

0:29:55 > 0:29:59I get emotional...

0:30:05 > 0:30:06..and sometimes I, er...

0:30:09 > 0:30:10..I cry for her.

0:30:19 > 0:30:20Bye, James.

0:30:23 > 0:30:25You know I love you.

0:30:52 > 0:30:57Back home in Glasgow, Peter is looking at photos of the family he used to have.

0:30:58 > 0:31:04That's my mum, that's my dad, that's my...I think auntie,

0:31:04 > 0:31:10and that's my granny, they three...they three have died.

0:31:12 > 0:31:18My mum sadly passed away frae problems with drink,

0:31:18 > 0:31:22she couldn't handle, she couldn't get help for drink...

0:31:22 > 0:31:25off things... She sadly died.

0:31:28 > 0:31:31She drank when I was in her stomach

0:31:31 > 0:31:33and she was drinking a lot

0:31:33 > 0:31:37and it affected my progress and my learning and that.

0:31:37 > 0:31:39I feel upset and angry

0:31:39 > 0:31:43because if she hadn't of done it, I'd be fine.

0:31:43 > 0:31:47I was a small baby at the time.

0:31:47 > 0:31:52My dad said I was so small he could just hold me,

0:31:52 > 0:31:56from there to there, in the palm of his hand.

0:31:56 > 0:31:59Do you think that was to do with the alcohol?

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Maybe, maybe I wanted out early.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06Maybe I wanted out early from my mum.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09And I didn't want to stay in any more.

0:32:09 > 0:32:14I think so. There's photos of me with my sister Angie.

0:32:14 > 0:32:20Angie's important to me because, if anything happened to me,

0:32:20 > 0:32:22she'd be the first to know about it.

0:32:24 > 0:32:26Peter's sister may be important to him,

0:32:26 > 0:32:29but that doesn't mean he gets to see her regularly.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31In a bid to combat his loneliness,

0:32:31 > 0:32:33Peter is going to the other side of Glasgow

0:32:33 > 0:32:36to meet her at a cafe near where she works.

0:32:37 > 0:32:41- I'm happy seeing my sister. - Why's that?

0:32:41 > 0:32:42Because I've no' seen her for a while.

0:32:56 > 0:32:59That's no' her. I thought it was her running.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02I thought it was her running across the road there, but it's no'.

0:33:02 > 0:33:05It's a woman jogging. Jogging.

0:33:06 > 0:33:08She's not answering.

0:33:08 > 0:33:09She's not answering.

0:33:11 > 0:33:13I'm sad my sister never came.

0:33:13 > 0:33:16She never turned up, so...

0:33:17 > 0:33:18I enjoyed myself, myself.

0:33:20 > 0:33:22That's it getting busy now, so I'll call that a day.

0:33:22 > 0:33:25I don't think she's coming, I don't think.

0:33:26 > 0:33:28I don't think she's coming.

0:33:29 > 0:33:32She's not coming.

0:33:32 > 0:33:35- PHONE RINGS - If I can get it...hurry up!

0:33:35 > 0:33:37Back home, Peter gets a call.

0:33:38 > 0:33:39Angie!

0:33:39 > 0:33:41Right, OK.

0:33:43 > 0:33:45OK.

0:33:45 > 0:33:46Right, bye. Bye.

0:33:48 > 0:33:53That was Angie, she's just been from the hospital.

0:33:53 > 0:33:57She'll rearrange with us to go up again on another day.

0:34:04 > 0:34:08It's been a month since Richard and Jillian got together

0:34:08 > 0:34:11and things are no longer looking so rosy.

0:34:12 > 0:34:18She just said to me that

0:34:18 > 0:34:20"What have I ever done to you?

0:34:20 > 0:34:23"You're not a good boyfriend" and all that type of thing.

0:34:23 > 0:34:29She hadn't actually said she was finishing with him,

0:34:29 > 0:34:35but she didn't want him to speak to her the way he was speaking to her.

0:34:36 > 0:34:40Today they're meeting up to try to work through their differences.

0:34:40 > 0:34:42But when two people with Asperger's get together,

0:34:42 > 0:34:45communication can be a challenge.

0:34:45 > 0:34:48Richard is having difficulty knowing where to start.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52So, tell me about your interests.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57What things do you like, Jillian?

0:35:01 > 0:35:04I like dancing.

0:35:05 > 0:35:06What else?

0:35:09 > 0:35:10Juggling.

0:35:12 > 0:35:14Eventually, Richard gets to the nub of the issue.

0:35:14 > 0:35:18Last week, they went on a cinema date.

0:35:18 > 0:35:21Because the lift was broken and she has a phobia of stairs,

0:35:21 > 0:35:23Jillian couldn't go and see the film.

0:35:23 > 0:35:27Richard just couldn't understand why she was reacting like this.

0:35:27 > 0:35:30The way Richie is at moment,

0:35:30 > 0:35:35I think that, um...it is quite difficult for him

0:35:35 > 0:35:39to put himself in the other person's shoes.

0:35:39 > 0:35:45Well, it's not my fault that I cannae do these stairs.

0:35:45 > 0:35:47Uh-huh.

0:35:47 > 0:35:52Because I feel like I'm scared

0:35:52 > 0:35:55- and, like, shaky. - You're frightened?

0:35:55 > 0:35:57- You're frightened?- Aye.

0:35:57 > 0:36:01Despite the challenges, Richard does his best to understand where Jillian is coming from.

0:36:01 > 0:36:04It's all right, we're here to sort this.

0:36:04 > 0:36:08If you want to go in the lift to the cinema, that's fine.

0:36:08 > 0:36:12If you can't manage with the stairs and escalators, that's fine.

0:36:12 > 0:36:16I want the relationship to work, so we can be together.

0:36:16 > 0:36:22I'm happy that you and I are together, I'm happy that we're girlfriend and boyfriend.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26You know I really love you to bits?

0:36:26 > 0:36:28Oh, that's nice.

0:36:38 > 0:36:40Richard has pulled the relationship back from the brink.

0:36:41 > 0:36:45And he doesn't hold back from showing Jillian his affection.

0:36:49 > 0:36:52He thinks that's what it's all about, smoochin' all the time.

0:36:52 > 0:36:56You know, he's like a wee boy that way.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58- Bye, honey.- Bye.

0:36:58 > 0:37:04And then he's got the man inside him as well, and they're both contradictory to one another.

0:37:06 > 0:37:09And how did you think it went with Richard?

0:37:09 > 0:37:13'I would say he's brilliant.'

0:37:13 > 0:37:15You would say he's brilliant, would you?

0:37:15 > 0:37:18It went OK, but you didn't know what to say?

0:37:18 > 0:37:20So you found talking quite difficult.

0:37:20 > 0:37:23- 'Aye.'- That's OK.

0:37:23 > 0:37:24That's OK.

0:37:29 > 0:37:32It's the weekend. Natasha is back in Edinburgh with James.

0:37:32 > 0:37:36When the couple are together, they get a chance to plan to their wedding.

0:37:36 > 0:37:40- Shall we try that one on you?- Yeah. - Let me show you the back, look.

0:37:42 > 0:37:43Wow!

0:37:45 > 0:37:48I've always dreamed of having a wedding,

0:37:48 > 0:37:52so I don't mind what age I am when I have a wedding,

0:37:52 > 0:37:56but I really, really want one.

0:37:58 > 0:38:03I was really quite pleased because when you have any child,

0:38:03 > 0:38:04you want them to grow up...

0:38:05 > 0:38:08..and be independent and be happy and content.

0:38:08 > 0:38:11And do what the rest of us do.

0:38:17 > 0:38:19I love that!

0:38:19 > 0:38:21- Hi, honey.- Hello.

0:38:22 > 0:38:26I can see the minister just standing there saying,

0:38:26 > 0:38:29"I now declare you husband and wife."

0:38:29 > 0:38:30I'm going to cry in a minute.

0:38:30 > 0:38:33Well, just you cry, I'll get you a tissue if you want. You look good.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45- I'm sure James doesn't mind, do you, James?- No, not me.

0:38:45 > 0:38:49- Not a bit, no. It's happy tears, isn't it?- Yeah.

0:38:52 > 0:38:54# Every day It's a-getting closer

0:38:54 > 0:38:57# Going faster than a roller-coaster... #

0:38:57 > 0:38:59Next stop, the wedding fair,

0:38:59 > 0:39:03where Natasha and James hope to make their wedding dreams come true.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06How it works is you bring your music along

0:39:06 > 0:39:08and I work out a dance that suits you to the music.

0:39:08 > 0:39:11So when you actually get up to dance, you can,

0:39:11 > 0:39:15rather than thinking, "Oh, no, I wish it was over." So when's the wedding?

0:39:15 > 0:39:20We don't know the year yet, but it's going to be in July, the 24th.

0:39:20 > 0:39:2324th of July, but we haven't decided on the year yet.

0:39:23 > 0:39:27She's got all these ambitions about the wedding, but you know,

0:39:27 > 0:39:30if there is going to be a wedding,

0:39:30 > 0:39:34then we need to all plan that together.

0:39:34 > 0:39:36She says their role models are Posh and Becks.

0:39:36 > 0:39:38So we're going to have to rein that in a bit.

0:39:38 > 0:39:41You've got to get me one of these cars!

0:39:41 > 0:39:43You've got to get ME one of these cars!

0:39:43 > 0:39:45How much is an average wedding, James?

0:39:47 > 0:39:53Basic flat rate for an average wedding would be £2,000, roughly,

0:39:53 > 0:39:57but there's a high-risk chance

0:39:57 > 0:40:00it will go a lot higher than that.

0:40:00 > 0:40:07Way off the scales sort of thing. Going up to...

0:40:07 > 0:40:08going up to about a million, roughly.

0:40:08 > 0:40:11From £2,000 to a million.

0:40:11 > 0:40:15That's the whole range of high-street packages.

0:40:15 > 0:40:18Just from a maths point of view, she's not that good with numbers.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20There you go. Put that in the bag.

0:40:20 > 0:40:25Tash reminds us that James has savings,

0:40:25 > 0:40:30but even his savings would be wiped out with a wedding.

0:40:30 > 0:40:34- INTERVIEWER:- The average wedding actually costs about £15,000.

0:40:34 > 0:40:36£15,000?

0:40:36 > 0:40:39Phew, that's a lot of money!

0:40:39 > 0:40:42We're not spending THAT much!

0:40:42 > 0:40:44While the wedding may be expensive,

0:40:44 > 0:40:47the cake samples are free.

0:40:47 > 0:40:50Oh, wow! Try that lovely ganache!

0:40:50 > 0:40:52Ganache?

0:40:52 > 0:40:55Oh, baby! That's good!

0:40:55 > 0:40:58Natasha and James are tucking in.

0:40:58 > 0:41:00It's very moist, isn't it?

0:41:00 > 0:41:01Oh, baby!

0:41:01 > 0:41:03That's gorgeous!

0:41:03 > 0:41:05Yeah, like you.

0:41:09 > 0:41:13- The cakes were lovely.- Yeah, yeah.

0:41:13 > 0:41:17I liked the one with the white icing.

0:41:17 > 0:41:22Mmm. That was a nice one. Definitely.

0:41:22 > 0:41:27It was like my wedding dream-come-true cake.

0:41:27 > 0:41:29Yep.

0:41:32 > 0:41:35In one week's time, a new kind of event

0:41:35 > 0:41:39will be appearing on the learning disabilities social scene.

0:41:39 > 0:41:40A club night.

0:41:40 > 0:41:43For the first time, young Scots with learning disabilities

0:41:43 > 0:41:46will be able to go out clubbing, just like their peers.

0:41:46 > 0:41:50And for Peter, this is an extra special event.

0:41:50 > 0:41:52He's the headline act.

0:41:54 > 0:41:56In order to get him ready for the big day,

0:41:56 > 0:42:01a DJ has been taken on by Peter's support team to mentor him.

0:42:01 > 0:42:03- I got it! I got it!- Well done!

0:42:03 > 0:42:05We're going to try and make it as easy as possible,

0:42:05 > 0:42:07because the main thing is that you enjoy yourself.

0:42:07 > 0:42:10When you enjoy yourself, everybody else enjoys themselves.

0:42:10 > 0:42:13Then you can start doing your poses and your hand claps.

0:42:13 > 0:42:16- HE LAUGHS - Handstands!

0:42:16 > 0:42:17I don't know about handstands!

0:42:17 > 0:42:19But you can give it a shot!

0:42:19 > 0:42:22- I'll look after the music while you're doing it!- Aye!

0:42:22 > 0:42:25As well as honing his DJ skills,

0:42:25 > 0:42:29Peter is working hard to drum up a crowd.

0:42:29 > 0:42:36I'm very nervous because I've got a busy schedule today, tomorrow...

0:42:36 > 0:42:39I've got three things on tomorrow.

0:42:39 > 0:42:42Hello, you're listening to Emma Clifford

0:42:42 > 0:42:44on Sunny Govan Community Radio....

0:42:44 > 0:42:47Rob, the event coordinator of the night,

0:42:47 > 0:42:50is accompanying him on his publicity drive.

0:42:50 > 0:42:52Why do we need this event?

0:42:52 > 0:42:54The reason we need a night like this

0:42:54 > 0:42:56is to give people with learning difficulties

0:42:56 > 0:42:58the same options that we have for going out and enjoying themselves

0:42:58 > 0:43:00and meeting each other.

0:43:00 > 0:43:03So, Peter, do you have someone special in your life?

0:43:03 > 0:43:06- Do you have a girlfriend? - No, not really.

0:43:06 > 0:43:09I'm hoping to find a girlfriend

0:43:09 > 0:43:12and I'm hoping that she's nice and beautiful and kind

0:43:12 > 0:43:14and has like interest to me as well.

0:43:14 > 0:43:17So...so that's quite a list of things

0:43:17 > 0:43:19that you're looking for there!

0:43:19 > 0:43:22- Will you go out with me? - Wow!

0:43:22 > 0:43:25This has never happened to me on my radio show before.

0:43:25 > 0:43:26- Really?- Live on air!

0:43:26 > 0:43:28But, unfortunately, I'm already taken.

0:43:28 > 0:43:33Aw, bombed out again! I'm going to greet!

0:43:33 > 0:43:35Sorry! But you'll find someone on the night, Peter.

0:43:35 > 0:43:37You definitely will. Definitely.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39- I hope so.- Good luck to you.

0:43:40 > 0:43:42It's Call Kaye this morning,

0:43:42 > 0:43:44with Kirsty Wark standing in for Kaye.

0:43:44 > 0:43:48How many people are you expecting at the club night?

0:43:48 > 0:43:51Well, we're hoping to have, like, 250 people.

0:43:51 > 0:43:54That is a tremendous number of people.

0:43:54 > 0:43:58And then if that's a success, the idea is that you'll repeat it?

0:43:58 > 0:44:01Yeah, I'll do, like, a monthly gig with them.

0:44:01 > 0:44:04Do you think people are nervous,

0:44:04 > 0:44:05as all people are, on first dates,

0:44:05 > 0:44:07or on the possibility of having a date?

0:44:07 > 0:44:09Yeah, they're always a wee bit nervous.

0:44:09 > 0:44:13I try and just say, "Hiya!" to girls

0:44:13 > 0:44:14and I try and get to know them.

0:44:14 > 0:44:18I ask them if they've got a boyfriend, are they single,

0:44:18 > 0:44:19and things like that.

0:44:19 > 0:44:24But it's kind of... They kind of back me down,

0:44:24 > 0:44:27and say, "I've got a boyfriend," thingmy and that...

0:44:27 > 0:44:30- But you just kind of persevere? - Yeah.

0:44:30 > 0:44:32- PHOTOGRAPHER:- One for safety.

0:44:32 > 0:44:35What did you think of Kirsty, the presenter?

0:44:35 > 0:44:37Nice, she's kind and generous.

0:44:37 > 0:44:39- Has she got a boyfriend?- Yes.

0:44:43 > 0:44:47It's the morning of Peter's club night

0:44:47 > 0:44:49and Richard is also going along.

0:44:52 > 0:44:54But Jillian won't be coming with him.

0:44:54 > 0:44:58What happened with Jillian?

0:44:58 > 0:45:00I dumped her and I split and broke up with her,

0:45:00 > 0:45:02because she couldn't kiss me.

0:45:02 > 0:45:05She couldn't put her arm round me. She couldn't...

0:45:05 > 0:45:07As I was sitting in the chair,

0:45:07 > 0:45:09I got her to sit on my knees and kiss me,

0:45:09 > 0:45:11and she just won't do any of that.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13That's a shame, Rich,

0:45:13 > 0:45:15- but that's what happens sometimes. - Girls!

0:45:15 > 0:45:18How did Jillian react when you told her, Richie?

0:45:18 > 0:45:21She just got upset and angry and cheeky.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24How do you feel about it all? Was it hard?

0:45:24 > 0:45:26Yeah, it was difficult.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28That's what happens. That's the thing.

0:45:28 > 0:45:32You have a few girlfriends before you find one that...

0:45:34 > 0:45:36that's The One, as they say.

0:45:36 > 0:45:39Now that Richard is a single man again,

0:45:39 > 0:45:41he's determined to make an impression.

0:45:41 > 0:45:42HE LAUGHS

0:45:42 > 0:45:46- Let me see you from the front. - HE LAUGHS

0:45:46 > 0:45:48Let's see you.

0:45:48 > 0:45:50I would go for you, if I was a young girl, Rich!

0:45:50 > 0:45:52Especially with that hairdo!

0:45:52 > 0:45:56Meanwhile, Peter is approaching his big night

0:45:56 > 0:45:58with a mixture of excitement and nerves.

0:45:58 > 0:46:00It will be good once it starts.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03Yeah, it'll be ready. It'll be...rock and roll.

0:46:03 > 0:46:08I'm nervous for that, because if I go on and people go,

0:46:08 > 0:46:12"Oh, come on! This DJ again?! I'm not happy about this!"

0:46:12 > 0:46:15Or they don't dance and they don't dance to my music.

0:46:15 > 0:46:18I'll probably talk to the girls.

0:46:18 > 0:46:21I'm just hoping someone will want my number.

0:46:21 > 0:46:24- DJ Bowers, ladies and gents! - CHEERING

0:46:24 > 0:46:27The club night kicks off.

0:46:27 > 0:46:31A crowd gathers, and Richard makes his entrance.

0:46:31 > 0:46:36# Now I'm feelin' so fly like a G6

0:46:36 > 0:46:39# Like a G6, like a G6... #

0:46:39 > 0:46:43It's Richard's first time in a nightclub,

0:46:43 > 0:46:45and he's loving the atmosphere.

0:46:46 > 0:46:51Absolutely awesome! Brilliant!

0:46:51 > 0:46:53I'm going to chat to someone!

0:46:53 > 0:46:55By God, I'm going to do well at it!

0:46:55 > 0:46:58Care for a dance, please?

0:46:58 > 0:47:00If you're in the mood?

0:47:00 > 0:47:03Excuse me, care for a dance?

0:47:03 > 0:47:05No, sorry!

0:47:11 > 0:47:13"Do you have a boyfriend?"

0:47:13 > 0:47:15That's what this says!

0:47:15 > 0:47:18Look at what it says! Look at what the note says!

0:47:18 > 0:47:21Oh, I do, aye.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24Do you have a boyfriend? Do you?

0:47:29 > 0:47:32- Hold on a wee second. - Right, right.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:47:52 > 0:47:55While Richard is focused on finding a girlfriend,

0:47:55 > 0:47:58Peter is sidetracked by a different search.

0:47:58 > 0:48:00My sister's supposed to be coming at eight,

0:48:00 > 0:48:02so I'm waiting for her.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05She's booked in. I'm going to go and see her.

0:48:05 > 0:48:07Hannah, if my sister comes,

0:48:07 > 0:48:09she's supposed to be due at eight,

0:48:09 > 0:48:10then I'm in there.

0:48:13 > 0:48:15Without further ado, I'd like you to give it up

0:48:15 > 0:48:18for your headline act tonight, DJ Peter Bowers!

0:48:18 > 0:48:20CHEERING

0:48:20 > 0:48:23His set has begun, but his sister still hasn't arrived.

0:48:23 > 0:48:26# You can go hard or you can go home

0:48:26 > 0:48:29# You can go hard or you can go home

0:48:29 > 0:48:31# You can go hard or you can go home

0:48:31 > 0:48:34# You can go hard or you can go home... #

0:48:34 > 0:48:37See, I told you! I told you I'd be here!

0:48:37 > 0:48:39That's my sister!

0:48:39 > 0:48:42That was my sister coming to see me!

0:48:44 > 0:48:46I'm very proud.

0:48:46 > 0:48:49He's absolutely great at his job.

0:48:49 > 0:48:51He's busy.

0:48:51 > 0:48:53He's busy, busy, busy!

0:48:53 > 0:48:55I asked for a couple of requests and he's not having it.

0:48:55 > 0:48:58He's like, "Nah, they're too slow, Angie."

0:48:58 > 0:49:00And I'm like, "Aargh! No!"

0:49:00 > 0:49:02He's like, "I'll do them later on in the night."

0:49:02 > 0:49:04And I'm like, "Aargh!"

0:49:04 > 0:49:07Yeah, he's good. He's keeping the crowd going.

0:49:07 > 0:49:09Keeping it all up and going. He's good.

0:49:09 > 0:49:12THEY SQUEAL

0:49:19 > 0:49:22Peter has found his sister,

0:49:22 > 0:49:24the crowd are loving the night,

0:49:24 > 0:49:25friends have been made,

0:49:25 > 0:49:28relationships have been forged.

0:49:28 > 0:49:31Scotland's first ever club of its kind is a hit.

0:49:31 > 0:49:34And the night is working out well for Richard too.

0:49:34 > 0:49:36"Do you have a boyfriend?"

0:49:36 > 0:49:38I was saying that to Fiona,

0:49:38 > 0:49:41and she said "No, I don't have a boyfriend."

0:49:41 > 0:49:43No, I've not got one.

0:49:45 > 0:49:47Cos I'm looking for one.

0:49:47 > 0:49:50- Excuse me, you can pick me.- Oh!

0:49:50 > 0:49:52- I'm free.- Oh, yeah?

0:49:52 > 0:49:53- Would that do?- Yeah.

0:49:53 > 0:49:58Would you and I be willing to go out on a date one day?

0:49:58 > 0:49:59When I'm not busy.

0:49:59 > 0:50:00Aye, exactly.

0:50:00 > 0:50:04- Will we go for a coffee, please? - Erm...

0:50:04 > 0:50:08- OFF CAMERA:- Just as pals, and you can see how you get on.

0:50:08 > 0:50:11- Yeah, see how it goes on.- Yes.

0:50:12 > 0:50:17As Richard says hello to a budding relationship,

0:50:17 > 0:50:20Peter is saying goodbye to his sister.

0:50:20 > 0:50:23I'll see you soon. Give me a phone.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26Aye, I'll phone you tomorrow.

0:50:26 > 0:50:29- You're so sweaty!- I know! - THEY LAUGH

0:50:30 > 0:50:32She wanted to stay to the end,

0:50:32 > 0:50:34but she had to go because she had to get the last train at 11.

0:50:34 > 0:50:36Cos the last train's at 11.

0:50:36 > 0:50:39At the end of the night, when we were packing up,

0:50:39 > 0:50:41I just got a glimpse downstairs...

0:50:41 > 0:50:43two people snogging. I wish that was me!

0:50:45 > 0:50:47You'll be phoning me, so you will,

0:50:47 > 0:50:50and you and I will be willing to meet up and see each other.

0:50:50 > 0:50:52- Yeah.- Would that do?- Uh-huh. Yeah.

0:50:52 > 0:50:55- Bye. - SHE GIGGLES

0:50:55 > 0:50:57Excuse me. Again?

0:50:57 > 0:51:02- Bye. Bye, Fiona!- Bye!

0:51:02 > 0:51:05Bye-bye! Bye-bye!

0:51:05 > 0:51:08Bye!

0:51:08 > 0:51:12Richard is delighted with his new girlfriend, and so is his mum.

0:51:12 > 0:51:15You're getting really good now at finding girlfriends

0:51:15 > 0:51:17- and knowing what to say, Richie. - Yes.

0:51:17 > 0:51:20And you were really good at drawing her out

0:51:20 > 0:51:22and getting her to talk about herself.

0:51:22 > 0:51:23- Yes.- Weren't you?

0:51:23 > 0:51:25I was listening to the whole thing. I wasn't butting in.

0:51:25 > 0:51:27Exactly!

0:51:32 > 0:51:35On the back of the club night, Peter is meeting up with his sister

0:51:35 > 0:51:38near the house where they last lived together.

0:51:38 > 0:51:39See who can throw the furthest!

0:51:39 > 0:51:41- Wait a minute...- Here's a flat one!

0:51:41 > 0:51:42Look, there's a flat one!

0:51:42 > 0:51:44That's a good, flat one. This'll work.

0:51:44 > 0:51:46Don't go too close to the edge!

0:51:46 > 0:51:48Watch the swans!

0:51:48 > 0:51:50Used to kick about here.

0:51:50 > 0:51:52- Did you?- Yeah. So did you!

0:51:52 > 0:51:54- Did I?- Yeah. You used to run about.

0:51:54 > 0:51:56Did I kick the ball in the water?

0:51:56 > 0:51:59No, cos we stayed just further up.

0:51:59 > 0:52:01You were only in primary school.

0:52:01 > 0:52:04That was the last time we were together.

0:52:04 > 0:52:05We went kind of...

0:52:05 > 0:52:08You ended up getting removed away,

0:52:08 > 0:52:10and I ended up leaving and got my own house.

0:52:10 > 0:52:12- Are you going to greet now?- No.

0:52:12 > 0:52:16- Are you sure?- Yeah, absolutely. - HE GIGGLES

0:52:16 > 0:52:17Listen, you cry more than I do!

0:52:17 > 0:52:20I don't know what you're talking about! You cry all the time!

0:52:20 > 0:52:22I don't cry, you do!

0:52:22 > 0:52:24- Right, in that direction.- Timber!

0:52:24 > 0:52:27SPLASH IN WATER

0:52:27 > 0:52:30Peter has had a difficult upbringing,

0:52:30 > 0:52:33but it hasn't stopped him wanting children of his own.

0:52:33 > 0:52:36I do want to have a family so that when I die, old,

0:52:36 > 0:52:40and I get cremated and all that,

0:52:40 > 0:52:43my kids will look back at this and think,

0:52:43 > 0:52:47"That's my dad. My dad who brought me up for 40 years."

0:52:47 > 0:52:51Yeah, there's nothing better than having a...yeah.

0:52:51 > 0:52:54I don't want to live my life lonely and just die.

0:52:54 > 0:52:55Just die lonely.

0:52:55 > 0:52:58But you won't. You will, thingmy...

0:52:58 > 0:53:01but you just have to focus on it, then.

0:53:01 > 0:53:03- Mmm-hmm.- Definitely.

0:53:03 > 0:53:06Try and get kids. Try and get a girlfriend.

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Well, the girlfriend comes first.

0:53:08 > 0:53:11- Before the kids... - SHE LAUGHS

0:53:11 > 0:53:13Yeah. Get a relationship.

0:53:16 > 0:53:17I hope it for him,

0:53:17 > 0:53:22but I don't know if it will ever be possible.

0:53:22 > 0:53:27Because he's not...the greatest one for taking care of things.

0:53:27 > 0:53:30I thought I'd start off with a plant for you.

0:53:30 > 0:53:32If you can keep a plant growing for a year...

0:53:32 > 0:53:35- HE LAUGHS - If we can keep you a plant growing for a year,

0:53:35 > 0:53:38then we'll move up and advance to a hamster, right?

0:53:38 > 0:53:41And if you keep that going, then you can have children! OK?

0:53:41 > 0:53:44- HE LAUGHS - Then we'll allow you to have kids!

0:53:44 > 0:53:46What I hope for Peter is that he's not on his own.

0:53:46 > 0:53:49That he settles down and that he's got somebody

0:53:49 > 0:53:52that he can wake up every morning with and he's happy.

0:53:52 > 0:53:55For Angie, Peter's ADHD is the reason

0:53:55 > 0:54:00he gets distracted from what he really needs. Love.

0:54:00 > 0:54:03If he just sort of focuses and tries to realistically think,

0:54:03 > 0:54:05yeah, he could get it.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08And yeah, he should, but because he gets side-tracked

0:54:08 > 0:54:11and he gets excited about other things.

0:54:11 > 0:54:13In a couple of years, hopefully.

0:54:13 > 0:54:15If he's DJ-ing,

0:54:15 > 0:54:18- hopefully the woman will come along. - SHE LAUGHS

0:54:20 > 0:54:24Natasha, meanwhile, is almost down to her target weight.

0:54:24 > 0:54:27All being well, she'll be moving back in with James within the month.

0:54:27 > 0:54:31Natasha has lost an awful lot of weight.

0:54:33 > 0:54:35I'm very proud that she has.

0:54:37 > 0:54:40I just want her back home with me.

0:54:43 > 0:54:45You will have me back home.

0:54:45 > 0:54:47I don't worry that I'll have to keep stepping in.

0:54:47 > 0:54:51What I worry is whether Natasha will LET me step in or not.

0:54:51 > 0:54:52I think she has this feeling that

0:54:52 > 0:54:55once she is back through in Edinburgh

0:54:55 > 0:54:57and living independently with James,

0:54:57 > 0:54:59she'll want to prove that by saying,

0:54:59 > 0:55:01"You can't tell me what to do any more."

0:55:01 > 0:55:04But hopefully she's learnt the lesson

0:55:04 > 0:55:07that I'm not trying to interfere.

0:55:07 > 0:55:10I'm really trying to help, so that in the long term,

0:55:10 > 0:55:13she lives a long and happy and healthy life.

0:55:13 > 0:55:14Hey, look, James!

0:55:14 > 0:55:17My engagement ring.

0:55:17 > 0:55:21- Coming off and on my finger! - SHE GIGGLES

0:55:21 > 0:55:26That means I've lost enough weight to put it on and take it off again.

0:55:28 > 0:55:30Oh, wow! Look at that!

0:55:30 > 0:55:33Now that Natasha has got her figure back,

0:55:33 > 0:55:36she is able to look to the future once more.

0:55:36 > 0:55:39- You look so slim! What a beautiful dress!- I know.- Gosh!

0:55:39 > 0:55:41And look at James!

0:55:41 > 0:55:43Look how smart he is! Wow!

0:55:43 > 0:55:46- That's lovely! - I look like a real bride.

0:55:46 > 0:55:48You do, don't you?

0:55:48 > 0:55:50When I get married,

0:55:50 > 0:55:52my mum will have to learn

0:55:52 > 0:55:55that I'm with James and I'm happy.

0:55:55 > 0:55:58That I'm happy with James.

0:55:58 > 0:56:03And if she wants to help, she can help both of us.

0:56:03 > 0:56:07But sometimes, we might need our independence.

0:56:07 > 0:56:10Like Mr & Mrs Withers time.

0:56:13 > 0:56:15- So, sweetheart.- Yeah?

0:56:15 > 0:56:17What do you want to do?

0:56:17 > 0:56:20Go out somewhere nice for dinner.

0:56:20 > 0:56:23- Baby! - SHE GIGGLES

0:56:23 > 0:56:27Go somewhere Mexican...Spanish?

0:56:27 > 0:56:29We can go French,

0:56:29 > 0:56:31Italian, English...

0:56:33 > 0:56:34..Scottish...

0:56:35 > 0:56:38..I know you don't like Japanese,

0:56:38 > 0:56:40but I thought Japanese.

0:56:40 > 0:56:43Oh, Thai! Oh, I hadn't thought about that!

0:56:45 > 0:56:49In Glasgow, it's been a week since Richard got together with Fiona,

0:56:49 > 0:56:54and it looks like he really is learning just how to treat a girl.

0:56:54 > 0:56:57# Don't love me for fun, girl

0:56:57 > 0:56:59# Let me be the one, girl

0:56:59 > 0:57:02# Love me for a reason

0:57:02 > 0:57:06# Let the reason be love... #

0:57:06 > 0:57:08I enjoyed his singing.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11A lovely, happy man.

0:57:11 > 0:57:13Kind as well.

0:57:13 > 0:57:17He'll make my life much happier.

0:57:17 > 0:57:20# Don't love me for fun, girl

0:57:20 > 0:57:23# Let me be the one, girl... #

0:57:23 > 0:57:24He's definitely learnt.

0:57:24 > 0:57:27He's definitely learnt. I'm amazed.

0:57:27 > 0:57:30Because he's been getting girlfriends

0:57:30 > 0:57:31quite close to one another.

0:57:31 > 0:57:34He's been quite lucky, really.

0:57:34 > 0:57:36It's helped him to approach girls, I think,

0:57:36 > 0:57:39and it's helped him to understand what they're interested in.

0:57:39 > 0:57:42# Love me for a reason

0:57:42 > 0:57:45# Let the reason be love. #

0:57:45 > 0:57:48FIONA LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS

0:57:48 > 0:57:49Very good!

0:57:49 > 0:57:51That's the most goodest song

0:57:51 > 0:57:53she'll never shut up listening to, you know?

0:57:53 > 0:57:56SHE GIGGLES Is that right, Fiona?

0:57:56 > 0:57:57Aye!

0:57:57 > 0:57:59So I'll say goodbye now.

0:57:59 > 0:58:01Bye-bye, honey!

0:58:01 > 0:58:02Bye-bye, honey!

0:58:04 > 0:58:05I think he will find the right one,

0:58:05 > 0:58:08but I think it will be a very, very long time.

0:58:09 > 0:58:12FIONA GIGGLES

0:58:12 > 0:58:14- Say bye-bye!- Bye-bye!

0:58:50 > 0:58:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd