0:00:02 > 0:00:04PARADE MUSIC
0:00:15 > 0:00:18St Patrick - he's the world's most famous Irishman,
0:00:18 > 0:00:19but he wasn't even Irish.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21- WELSH ACCENT:- Lechyd da, lads!
0:00:21 > 0:00:24You may now offer each other a sign of peace.
0:00:24 > 0:00:28- Peas?- Peace!- Peace?
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Nah, missed it.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34He's celebrated for bringing Christianity to Ireland,
0:00:34 > 0:00:38but the Irish were already being converted by the time he arrived.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Avast, ye heathens!
0:00:42 > 0:00:44Oh! Oh, sorry!
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Sorry!
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Sorry!
0:00:48 > 0:00:52He was a pious man whose terrible crime almost prevented
0:00:52 > 0:00:53his mission to Ireland.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Something like this?
0:01:00 > 0:01:03That's him! He's the one!
0:01:05 > 0:01:08So I want to know how you go from minding sheep on a mountain
0:01:08 > 0:01:11to becoming the man that some people think is the saviour
0:01:11 > 0:01:13of all of Western civilisation.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Soon we're going to celebrate the feast of St Patrick,
0:01:30 > 0:01:32a man most people know nothing about.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34People go, "He drove the snakes out of Ireland."
0:01:34 > 0:01:37No, he didn't! Those snakes left looking for work!
0:01:37 > 0:01:41I'd say there's a cobra on Bondi Beach in a Wexford jersey
0:01:41 > 0:01:43who would take your hand off for a packet of Tayto!
0:01:43 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Snakes are exactly like Irish emigrants to Australia.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52They love the sunshine and every so often all their skin peels off!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54CROWD LAUGHS
0:01:54 > 0:01:57What plant is he associated with?
0:01:57 > 0:02:00- Marijuana? I don't know!- Marijuana? THEY LAUGH
0:02:00 > 0:02:02He drove all the snakes out of Ireland.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04He was a boss.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07He always wore green. He was a boss!
0:02:07 > 0:02:11He helped, um, the Irish people with England, like, English people.
0:02:11 > 0:02:16Fighting against the, um, English for independence.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19- He was awesome! - Who was awesome?- Patrick!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I didn't know he was real!
0:02:21 > 0:02:23LAUGHTER
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Time to separate fact from fiction. The real historical Patrick
0:02:25 > 0:02:29is more interesting than the man of myth, but what do we actually...?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30MEN YELL
0:02:30 > 0:02:35We know Patrick was about 16 when at the beginning of the 5th century,
0:02:35 > 0:02:37he was kidnapped by Irish slave traders
0:02:37 > 0:02:40from his hometown of Bannavem Taburniae.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43His father was a Roman civil servant.
0:02:43 > 0:02:44His grandfather was a priest.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46PHONE RINGS
0:02:46 > 0:02:48But Patrick wasn't religious at this point.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50He, in fact, was...
0:02:52 > 0:02:56He was taken aboard a craft probably with many other Irish slaves
0:02:56 > 0:02:59and shipped off to Ireland where he spent the next six years at least.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Uh, can we go back that way?
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Seriously. No, no, seriously, like.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06I'm not actually St Patrick, you know that?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08'Patrick wasn't holy as a boy.'
0:03:08 > 0:03:10I'd say he did exactly what we all did.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13You said you went to church and then walked around town for an hour,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17got home and played "Who Said Mass Russian Roulette" with your ma!
0:03:17 > 0:03:19LAUGHTER
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Do you remember that? "Who said mass?"
0:03:22 > 0:03:25"Uhhh...Father...
0:03:25 > 0:03:27"Dougal McGuire?"
0:03:27 > 0:03:28CROWD LAUGHS
0:03:28 > 0:03:31"You're wrong!" I'd like to be an Irish teenage Catholic now!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33"Who said mass?" "The parish priest."
0:03:33 > 0:03:36"How do you know?" "He's the only one left!"
0:03:41 > 0:03:43A lot of people have an image of St Patrick.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46How close to the real historical figure is this image?
0:03:46 > 0:03:48It's close to the real Patrick,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50the sense that Patrick was a slave in Ireland.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54He came back to Ireland to convert people, but a huge amount of it
0:03:54 > 0:03:57is based on a sort of legendary take on Patrick,
0:03:57 > 0:04:01which was created for reasons of propaganda in about the 7th century.
0:04:01 > 0:04:04We're lucky that the real Patrick left writings behind him,
0:04:04 > 0:04:08which tell us about his interior life, about his spirituality.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11And we can contrast it with the way he is portrayed
0:04:11 > 0:04:13in the later biographies by Muirchu and Tireachan.
0:04:13 > 0:04:17So the oldest of these writings that still exist
0:04:17 > 0:04:18are here in Trinity College?
0:04:18 > 0:04:22Yes, we've got the earliest copy of Patrick's Confessio.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25It's in the Book of Armagh which is a 9th century manuscript here.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28That copy of the Confessio is one which is edited down
0:04:28 > 0:04:31and removes some of the more controversial sequences
0:04:31 > 0:04:34of Patrick's own writings.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37The real Patrick is somebody who feels he's flawed,
0:04:37 > 0:04:38who admits to a sin in his youth.
0:04:38 > 0:04:44- St Patrick committed a great crime when he was 15 or 16. Right?- Ah, no!
0:04:44 > 0:04:45What do you think the crime was?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48He burnt something on a hill or something?
0:04:48 > 0:04:49- Murder?- Do you think?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Two-timing!
0:04:51 > 0:04:52Two-timing his girlfriend!
0:04:52 > 0:04:55- SHE CHUCKLES - Hanky-panky!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Only Ireland would have a patron saint
0:04:58 > 0:05:00who committed a great crime as a teenager
0:05:00 > 0:05:05and still have the main juvenile detention centre in the State
0:05:05 > 0:05:09called St Patrick's Institution for Young Offenders!
0:05:09 > 0:05:12CROWD LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS Brilliant!
0:05:12 > 0:05:15The real Patrick is somebody who is quite angst-ridden.
0:05:15 > 0:05:19He worries constantly about his calling in Ireland.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22And he is somebody who freely admits that he has many flaws.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25On the other hand, the Patrick of legend
0:05:25 > 0:05:29is essentially like a superhero out of comics or a manga.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31So much stuff is made up about St Patrick
0:05:31 > 0:05:34that we're going to have a bit of fun now, OK?
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Your name is Gene, right? I want you to tell me if this is true or false
0:05:38 > 0:05:40according to the Book of Armagh.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43His fingers, St Patrick's fingers, glowed in the dark?
0:05:43 > 0:05:45- True or false?- False.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48False? No, it's true! They actually lost the horses
0:05:48 > 0:05:50one day in the dark, they couldn't find them
0:05:50 > 0:05:53so he put up his hand and light emanated from his fingers
0:05:53 > 0:05:55like some sort of Catholic bishop ET!
0:05:55 > 0:05:57CROWD LAUGHS
0:05:57 > 0:06:01ET IMPRESSION: St Patrick, phone Rome!
0:06:01 > 0:06:04CROWD LAUGHS
0:06:04 > 0:06:07In a time of great peril, his staff lit up
0:06:07 > 0:06:11so he could lead his followers away from danger. True or false?
0:06:11 > 0:06:12True.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13It's false!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15That was Gandalf.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17CROWD LAUGHS
0:06:17 > 0:06:20When Patrick was a boy, he was bitten by a radioactive spider...
0:06:20 > 0:06:22CROWD LAUGHS
0:06:24 > 0:06:28..which gave him all the powers of a spider. True or false?
0:06:28 > 0:06:32- I think it's false. - False! That was St Brigid!
0:06:32 > 0:06:33CROWD LAUGHS
0:06:33 > 0:06:35For somebody like Muirchu,
0:06:35 > 0:06:37a saint was somebody who would be perfect,
0:06:37 > 0:06:40who would have lots of miraculous power from God.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43When he reads Patrick's writings, what he finds is somebody
0:06:43 > 0:06:47who has self-doubt. There aren't miracles in Patrick's writings.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50For a 7th century writer who wants to say,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52"Here's Patrick, the apostle of the Irish,"
0:06:52 > 0:06:54he doesn't want the real figure.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58He wants somebody who will be malleable and fit their propaganda.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Guys! Can we focus here? Can we just focus for a second?
0:07:03 > 0:07:07All I'm hearing is, "Brigid this," it's "Colmcille that."
0:07:07 > 0:07:10OK. We need a bigger market share.
0:07:10 > 0:07:15Patrick needs to have "banished" something. OK?
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Monkeys?
0:07:16 > 0:07:20What has a monkey ever done to anybody? Look..!
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- It has to be something dangerous. - Brother Michael?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25Brother Michael isn't dangerous!
0:07:25 > 0:07:27You don't have to share a dorm with him.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30OK, OK, look.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32Guys, it has to be something truly terrifying
0:07:32 > 0:07:35that strikes fear into the hearts of men, eh?
0:07:36 > 0:07:38- I've got it!- So do I!
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Snakes!- Women!
0:07:41 > 0:07:44'Various churches were vying with each other.'
0:07:44 > 0:07:47In particular, Armagh and Kildare were two major rivals
0:07:47 > 0:07:49with their saints Patrick and Brigid.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52They're not simply writing about the saint as a saint,
0:07:52 > 0:07:55they're also using the saint as a vehicle to make claims
0:07:55 > 0:07:57about their own overlordship.
0:07:57 > 0:08:02Patrick is associated with Armagh, even though he doesn't mention Armagh once in any of his writings.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05What happened was later monks associated him, a famous person,
0:08:05 > 0:08:07with their place, to enhance the reputation of the place.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11I was appalled by this, until I remembered I was from County Offaly,
0:08:11 > 0:08:15home of Barack Obama, President of the United States of America!
0:08:15 > 0:08:17LAUGHTER
0:08:17 > 0:08:20I'd like to get Patrick and Muirchu in a room together
0:08:20 > 0:08:24to see what Patrick would say to Muirchu, going, "Where the hell did that come from?"
0:08:24 > 0:08:27And Muirchu going, "I kind of had to beef up the brand, to be honest with you."
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Ignore your many gods.
0:08:29 > 0:08:34There are a number of theories about where Patrick's hometown of Bannaven Taburnie was.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Some suggest that it was in Roman Britain, the area now known as Wales.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40(WELSH ACCENT) Peace be with you.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- There's also a theory he was French. - (FRENCH ACCENT) Peace be with you.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Others suggest he was Scottish.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50But which theory is correct?
0:08:50 > 0:08:54- So where was Patrick from?- He was from somewhere in Western Britain.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I suppose, in modern terms, we would say Wales.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01CHORAL SINGING
0:09:01 > 0:09:04Many of us have an image in our heads of what Patrick looked like.
0:09:04 > 0:09:09But surely the real Patrick wasn't green Santa? Or in the Dubliners.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13So Billy, you're telling me that this is what St Patrick would have looked like?
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Well, Patrick the slave anyway, yeah.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18So, no sort of big green bishop's garb, crozier, mitre?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21No, that's all later medieval bishops.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24This is much more practical and down-to-earth, what a slave
0:09:24 > 0:09:26might have been wearing on the mountainside.
0:09:26 > 0:09:29Modelling the slave chic circa the fifth century.
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Is there any nice way of sitting down in this
0:09:31 > 0:09:34- without flashing yourself to all in sundry?- Knees together.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Knees together like a Jane Austen novel, like that! Right.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39Can I ask you why we're in Mayo?
0:09:39 > 0:09:44Everything I learned in school, in the tradition, says we should be on a hill called Slemish in Antrim.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Patrick only mentions one place name in all of the Confessio -
0:09:47 > 0:09:51the woods at Voclut, which is near the western ocean.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55That has been identified as most likely being a place in County Mayo.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58And what sort of country is Ireland at this point?
0:09:58 > 0:10:02- What sort of land is it? - It would have been rural.
0:10:02 > 0:10:05There would have been no cities. It would have been quite fragmented.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09Lots of smaller kingdoms, lots of political intrigue and war,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11quite a hostile place to be by modern standards.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14And would they all be wearing this - this beautiful garb?
0:10:14 > 0:10:15HE LAUGHS
0:10:15 > 0:10:18I don't know why you're laughing, I'm freezing my nuts off here!
0:10:18 > 0:10:22I can see why Patrick would go for celibacy cos you can't use them in this weather!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25HE LAUGHS Do we have any evidence
0:10:25 > 0:10:29of what pagan rituals were like, or pagan life was like at this point?
0:10:29 > 0:10:32We have the names of some of their gods and goddesses,
0:10:32 > 0:10:34we think, from later mythological tradition.
0:10:34 > 0:10:37And we have bits and pieces of their rituals.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39We do have one account from the 10th century.
0:10:39 > 0:10:43And it talks about how poets used to look for 'imbas forosnai',
0:10:43 > 0:10:46which is wisdom of elimination,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48or that they would look for poetic inspiration.
0:10:48 > 0:10:53The way they used to do it was, they would get a piece of meat,
0:10:53 > 0:10:57and it would be the meat of a dog or a cat, or a pig.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00- They're not very fussy, are they?! - They're not!
0:11:00 > 0:11:04Do we know what that is? In Ireland, you don't really need to know any more, in fairness, do you?
0:11:04 > 0:11:07That could be anything at all. That could be Shergar! OK.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- Eww! Eat the raw meat?- Yeah. - Chew it?- Chew it.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16- Mmmm, it's lovely.- And then take it out and offer it to your pagan gods.
0:11:16 > 0:11:21So whoever... Bjork and Lunasa and Sinead O'Connor,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24and all the pagan gods. I'll put it down here.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27- You have to wait for the gods to inspire you.- OK. Right.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Into darkness.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Cool! I've just seen when you die, Billy.
0:11:33 > 0:11:36HE LAUGHS
0:11:36 > 0:11:39Are you doing anything next week? Because...
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- Are you doing anything next week? - Yeah, I have a few things lined up. - No, you're not actually!
0:11:43 > 0:11:45Sorry about that!
0:11:45 > 0:11:47Do they have any other traditions we know about?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49There's a few different rituals described.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52There was one guy who visited Ireland in the 12th century.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55He was named Giraldus Cambrensis, or Gerald of Wales.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59And he talks about how kings used to be inaugurated.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03He speaks of one group of kings, who I think come from Donegal,
0:12:03 > 0:12:06and as part of the initiation ceremony,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10the would-be king would, em...
0:12:10 > 0:12:12How do I put this delicately?
0:12:12 > 0:12:16He would embrace a white mare as part of the ritual.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19You mean embrace as in...?
0:12:19 > 0:12:24- Yeah. In the biblical sense. - As in second bar, five bar gate.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- As in - that sort of... You're making that up.- No.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30- Is this true?- Well... - I'm not doing this, by the way!
0:12:30 > 0:12:33I've eaten that thing, but if somebody leads a white mare
0:12:33 > 0:12:37around the corner, I am not publicly copulating with a white mare!
0:12:37 > 0:12:40ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:51 > 0:12:54There's no way you can go straight to him. You'd have to build up to it, surely?
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Probably a goat before that. And then an Alsatian fluffer
0:12:59 > 0:13:02just before you get to the goat!
0:13:02 > 0:13:05HE LAUGHS
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Is there anything written about that?
0:13:07 > 0:13:12Funnily enough, Alsatian fluffers are not mentioned in early Ireland!
0:13:12 > 0:13:16I'd imagine that was in the Book of Kells - that was probably taken out!
0:13:31 > 0:13:35When Patrick arrived in pagan Ireland, druids had immense power.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40And there are still a few hanging around.
0:13:40 > 0:13:44The druid was a very powerful person who had three functions -
0:13:44 > 0:13:46the bard, the storyteller, the history keeper,
0:13:46 > 0:13:48the harp player, for example.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52The bard had the power to bring down the king through satires
0:13:52 > 0:13:55if the king was abusing his powers, for example.
0:13:55 > 0:13:59IRISH LANGUAGE PRAYER
0:13:59 > 0:14:02You had the role of the healer,
0:14:02 > 0:14:04the diviner, the seer, the shaman.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06And then you had the ollamh, the brehon.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11I invoke the goddess Brigid as the maiden of springtime.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15I call on your inspiration.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19- Tar agus failte. - (Tar agaus failte)
0:14:19 > 0:14:21Druids had authority right through the country, unlike kings.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Kings, their power was very much regional.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Nobody could harm a druid.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31So they were there to negotiate when two kings were battling.
0:14:31 > 0:14:33They would negotiate with each other.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Later writings portray Patrick as some kind of druid slayer.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39He goes up against them, and he does battle with them.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42As a modern day druid, how does that make you feel about him?
0:14:42 > 0:14:45Well, I don't think he was. I mean, I read Patrick's writings -
0:14:45 > 0:14:48his Confessio and his Epistula and he comes across
0:14:48 > 0:14:51as a very, very humble kind of man. Very insecure.
0:14:51 > 0:14:55These stories you hear, that he had druidic powers himself,
0:14:55 > 0:14:57and he could match the druids with his own druidic power,
0:14:57 > 0:15:01from his writings I don't get a sense that that was what he was like at all.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03So, I don't actually have,
0:15:03 > 0:15:07I suppose, a negative attitude to Patrick from those stories.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10But I think many pagans might have because of the legacy.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13DRUMMING
0:15:13 > 0:15:16What does the ceremony today involve? What is today, first of all?
0:15:16 > 0:15:21We're celebrating Imbolc, which is honouring the goddess Brigid.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23It's interesting this is a documentary about Patrick.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26When he came to Ireland
0:15:26 > 0:15:30people would have been honouring the goddess Brigid.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32She is the triple goddess.
0:15:32 > 0:15:36She represents the maiden, the mother and the crone.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39May this water bring you courage.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43And it's interesting because Patrick's emblem,
0:15:43 > 0:15:46the story is he had the shamrock to explain the trinity.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49That would have been very easy for people to understand because
0:15:49 > 0:15:51the notion of the triple deity was already here.
0:15:51 > 0:15:55Behold the light that I have nurtured.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58The sun is now returning.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01- So is that Brigid the same as St Brigid?- I think so.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04Brigid was very important in Ireland at the time.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07And she couldn't have been gotten rid of.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11But remember, Christianity - when Patrick came, it was a very gradual process.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14He didn't come in and just Christianise the whole country.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17It wasn't until about the 16th century that paganism was seen
0:16:17 > 0:16:20as bad and that Christianity was seen as good.
0:16:20 > 0:16:24So that polarity came into play. But up to then, you could hold both.
0:16:24 > 0:16:28IRISH LANGUAGE PRAYER
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Somebody like Patrick, as a slave, probably would've been eating very basic foods,
0:16:40 > 0:16:45maybe drinking whey and curds and porridge, that kind of thing.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47He's Little Miss Moffat at this point!
0:16:47 > 0:16:50Where was he kept? Was he chained up? Was he with other people? Was he on his own?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53Well, he's working as a herdsman.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56In the summertime herds would have been brought away from the farm
0:16:56 > 0:16:59and brought to upland pastures, pretty isolated.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02Imagine how bored he was!
0:17:02 > 0:17:08INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
0:17:10 > 0:17:13SHEEP BLEATS
0:17:16 > 0:17:21Times like July they wouldn't have had meat because the slaughtering wasn't happening until the autumn.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24What they used to do was they would use a small blade
0:17:24 > 0:17:27and they would open the veins of a cow.
0:17:27 > 0:17:31And they would draw some of the blood and then they would boil this.
0:17:31 > 0:17:35- I have some. - Why do you always have this stuff?!
0:17:35 > 0:17:39- So, we have some cattle blood here. - Ah, no way!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42- Yeah, we'll make it into a cake. - Can we spice this up a bit?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45I don't have an awful lot of blood spice at the moment.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- How long does that take to make? - We just need to congeal it, essentially.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51It's still in liquid form. And to drink it like that,
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- you know, we're not savages here. - You'd be mad to drink it like that! - That would be ridiculous!
0:17:55 > 0:17:58They used to call July hungry July
0:17:58 > 0:18:01because you would have been coming to the end of your stores from last autumn.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06Mmmm! Mmmm!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08That's disgusting!
0:18:10 > 0:18:13I think I'd rather eat the spoon!
0:18:13 > 0:18:16It was slavery, pure and simple. He was dragged away from his home,
0:18:16 > 0:18:19his family, sent to rural Ireland, had to learn Irish to survive.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22What else would you call it? It was like the Gaeltacht!
0:18:22 > 0:18:24LAUGHTER You didn't have to herd livestock.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28Have you ever been at a teenage ceili in Connemara?
0:18:28 > 0:18:30Not only did I need a collie dog -
0:18:30 > 0:18:33some of those women should have been dipped!
0:18:33 > 0:18:37LAUGHTER
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I danced with a girl from Laois, I got liver fluke!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43On the mountain is where he discovered God.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45He prayed up to 100 times a day and 100 times a night.
0:18:45 > 0:18:51Normal obvious prayers like, "Dear God, can you fix it for me
0:18:51 > 0:18:53"to get off this mountain? I'm cold, I'm hungry.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57"I do sleep quite well - that's mainly cos I've got lots of stuff to count!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59LAUGHTER
0:18:59 > 0:19:02"But I'm very lonely. Yesterday I trapped a badger
0:19:02 > 0:19:05"and pretended it was a tiny nun just so I had someone to talk to!
0:19:05 > 0:19:09"I call her Mother TB-sa."
0:19:09 > 0:19:12We don't actually know how he escaped from the original slave owner at all?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- No. We don't. We don't.- Maybe he had a poster of Rita Hayworth,
0:19:16 > 0:19:21and they only copped he was gone when they threw a stone and there was a big hole in her head. Is that true?
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- I doubt it.- Is it true that he tried to get a motorbike
0:19:24 > 0:19:28and jump over barbed wire into Switzerland? That's not true either!
0:19:28 > 0:19:30OK. It might not have been in the Book of Armagh
0:19:30 > 0:19:33but I'm pretty sure it's one of these books, that himself, Pele
0:19:33 > 0:19:37and Bobby Moore organised a football match against a German
0:19:37 > 0:19:41national football team in Paris, to escape.
0:19:41 > 0:19:45- I'm pretty sure he was an exceptional centre forward. Is that true?- Yes.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48That's true, is it?!
0:19:48 > 0:19:50One day, on the mountain, he hears a voice.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53And the voice says, "Soon you will go to your own country.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55"Your ship is ready." You might call that a miracle.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57I would call that a passenger announcement!
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Basically he just heard, "Ladies and gentlemen,
0:19:59 > 0:20:02"would passenger Patrick, passenger Patrick..
0:20:02 > 0:20:04"First name... Saint...
0:20:05 > 0:20:08"Please go to the boarding gate now.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11"Aer Lingus would like to remind all our passengers not to use our logo
0:20:11 > 0:20:15"to demonstrate God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit."
0:20:16 > 0:20:20He talks about this arduous journey that he had of 200 miles
0:20:20 > 0:20:22until he got a ship.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25There would have been brigands, so they would have been hostile people,
0:20:25 > 0:20:28maybe out to rob him or capture him into slavery again, who knows?
0:20:28 > 0:20:30What happens when he gets to the ship?
0:20:30 > 0:20:34He asks these sailors to bring him over the sea
0:20:34 > 0:20:37and initially they refuse, they tell him they don't want to bring him,
0:20:37 > 0:20:40but he goes back to his hut and he prays,
0:20:40 > 0:20:43and then he goes back to them and eventually they relent
0:20:43 > 0:20:46and then the leader of this group,
0:20:46 > 0:20:48he, bizarrely enough,
0:20:48 > 0:20:52Patrick mentioned that he offers St Patrick his nipples
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- for St Patrick to suck.- What?!
0:20:54 > 0:20:58Yeah. As a sign of submission.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00That's how we made friends in this country in those days.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02The Romans were probably cutting each other open,
0:21:02 > 0:21:05going, "We will mix our blood to be brothers forever."
0:21:05 > 0:21:07We were all going, "Seamus, take off your top.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10"Come on, and the bra as well, let the dog see the rabbit."
0:21:10 > 0:21:12I'll never be that close to a man.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15I've hugged my brothers three times my entire adult life, and
0:21:15 > 0:21:19all of those times have involved Ray Houghton putting a ball into a net.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22There is actually quite a lapse of time
0:21:22 > 0:21:25between the time when he escaped and when he came back to Ireland.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28I always had the impression that he stayed 10, maybe 15,
0:21:28 > 0:21:31maybe more years before he came back to Ireland.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34My own pet idea is that Patrick was in fact an only child
0:21:34 > 0:21:37and that he simply had to wait until his parents popped off,
0:21:37 > 0:21:39and therefore he was the sole inheritor,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42and when he talks, therefore, about spending money on people,
0:21:42 > 0:21:45he says to the Irish, "I've spent the wealth of 15 men"
0:21:45 > 0:21:49or something like that, "to help you guys and your Christianity."
0:21:49 > 0:21:52You've given me an image of St Patrick popping in to his dad, going,
0:21:52 > 0:21:56- "How you feeling? How's Ma? She's bearing up well."- Yeah.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00He seems to have hung in there. When the two of them have moved on,
0:22:00 > 0:22:03presumably by natural causes, he's the sole heir.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05I don't think we can go too far here!
0:22:05 > 0:22:08What possesses Patrick to return to Ireland, where he has been abused,
0:22:08 > 0:22:11mistreated and kept as a slave for six years?
0:22:11 > 0:22:12He was mad!
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Anybody looking at it now would think he was out of his head.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Maybe he thought he was out of his head.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19He couldn't say no, because he had this message.
0:22:19 > 0:22:22The "voice of the Irish", as he called it himself,
0:22:22 > 0:22:23imploring him to come back.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Patrick escapes and ends up in Britain.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29After a few years, he hears the voice of the Irish
0:22:29 > 0:22:30calling him back in a vision.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33The voice calling him back, back...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37(FUNNY ACCENT) "C'mere t'me!
0:22:38 > 0:22:42"C'mon back to Ireland! C'mon!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44"You don't have to come for that long,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46"maybe a short city break or sum'n like that.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50"Maybe stay in a B&B or sum'n, all the boys in the gang miss you.
0:22:50 > 0:22:52"Say hello, boys." "Baaa!" "C'mon!"
0:22:54 > 0:22:58"I'm sick of the druids. The clergy have too much power in this country.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59"You should spread Christianity
0:22:59 > 0:23:03"and that will put an end to that sort of thing!
0:23:03 > 0:23:07"C'mon back to Ireland in its hour of need!"
0:23:07 > 0:23:13"Further details are available on www.thegathering.com."
0:23:16 > 0:23:17The alternative tradition of Patrick
0:23:17 > 0:23:21which has him spending between 10 and 40 years on the Continent
0:23:21 > 0:23:24being educated in Gaul and in Italy.
0:23:24 > 0:23:27The place in Gaul that's mentioned is Auxerre.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29The bishop of Auxerre is a fella called Germanus.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33We know a lot about Germanus and Auxerre.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37You could take it that type of thing is plausible but not true
0:23:37 > 0:23:39because Patrick never mentions that in his writings.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42But we don't have to bin it because almost certainly
0:23:42 > 0:23:45it applied to another fella who was involved in the early Irish mission,
0:23:45 > 0:23:47a man called Palladius.
0:23:47 > 0:23:51Palladius is mentioned in continental sources in the year 431.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- Which is a year before St Patrick. - A very significant year.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58The year before Patrick is supposed to have come to Ireland,
0:23:58 > 0:24:01this man Palladius, according to continental sources,
0:24:01 > 0:24:04is sent by no less a person than the Pope, Pope Celestine,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06who was the Pope at the time.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09He is sent as the first bishop, primus episcopus,
0:24:09 > 0:24:11to the Irish believing in Christ.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13This is mind-blowing if you've grown up
0:24:13 > 0:24:15in primary and secondary school in Ireland.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Patrick is not the man who introduced Christianity.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21There were Christians here before him and even a bishop.
0:24:21 > 0:24:25If Palladius got here before Patrick, it begs the question...
0:24:25 > 0:24:28How come do the streets look like this on March 17th
0:24:28 > 0:24:32and this on July 6th, Palladius' feast day.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- Have you ever heard of Palladius?- No.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35What would you say if I said
0:24:35 > 0:24:38- Palladius came to Ireland before St Patrick?- No!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40He's a liar! A big liar!
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- Have you heard of a Palladius?- What?
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Palladius?- I'm only in first year!
0:24:47 > 0:24:50It's time for Palladius to be restored to his rightful place
0:24:50 > 0:24:52in the pantheon of Irish heroes.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54No longer will he be the forgotten man,
0:24:54 > 0:24:56the George Lazenby of missionaries,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00the Jim Corr to St Patrick's Andrea.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01- Who do we want?!- Palladius!
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- When do we want him?!- Some time around the start of the 5th century!
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Who do we want?!- Palladius!
0:25:07 > 0:25:11- When do we want him?!- Some time around the start of the 5th century!
0:25:11 > 0:25:12Onwards!
0:25:12 > 0:25:14DRUMMING AND CHEERING
0:25:17 > 0:25:20Unfortunately, the historians in Armagh found themselves in a jam
0:25:20 > 0:25:24because they didn't want anybody else in Ireland before Patrick.
0:25:24 > 0:25:27Their solution is to kill off Palladius.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31Palladius arrives and he doesn't like the weather or the Irish
0:25:31 > 0:25:34and he goes home. Patrick is on the next available flight.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37The Patrick we know and commemorate on March 17th
0:25:37 > 0:25:39is a composite St Patrick.
0:25:39 > 0:25:43He's made up of traditions belonging to at least two separate people.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47There does seem to be a constant undercurrent of murmurs
0:25:47 > 0:25:51about himself, his personality, his missionary techniques,
0:25:51 > 0:25:54about the people he's bringing the message to.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56It's quite striking, although not unique to Patrick,
0:25:56 > 0:25:59that whenever he talks about his success as a missionary,
0:25:59 > 0:26:02it's more often than not about converting women.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06He refers to one particular woman as being "strikingly good-looking".
0:26:06 > 0:26:10Which really doesn't have anything to do with the message.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13The fact that he says it implies that he has an eye for the ladies.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- Are you ready to pray?!- Yes!
0:26:18 > 0:26:22- I can't hear you! I said, "Are you ready to pray?!"- Yes!
0:26:22 > 0:26:23Woo! Woo!
0:26:26 > 0:26:28I love you, Pat!
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Easy, girl. I know! I know!
0:26:30 > 0:26:32- Get off me!- You're barred!
0:26:32 > 0:26:37This is a reading from the Gospel of Matthew.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39GIRLS SCREAM
0:26:39 > 0:26:43Blessed are the meek, for they shall possess the land.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45Oh, spit on me, Patrick!
0:26:49 > 0:26:53- Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.- Yeah!
0:26:53 > 0:26:58Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02GIRLS CHEER
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Blessed are the peacemakers,
0:27:06 > 0:27:11for they shall be called children of God!
0:27:14 > 0:27:16LOUD CHEERING
0:27:16 > 0:27:18I can't go on.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Amen!
0:27:25 > 0:27:27'He must have been massively charismatic
0:27:27 > 0:27:30'if women were willing to leave their jewels on the altar for him.'
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Anybody who reads Patrick will get the impression
0:27:32 > 0:27:36he's massively charismatic, period. He's an extraordinary guy.
0:27:36 > 0:27:38He's just on the right side of lunatic.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43He's one of these guys we'd regard as OK, interesting and impressive
0:27:43 > 0:27:46but not the kind of guy you want to sit beside on the bus.
0:27:51 > 0:27:55I am finding myself liking real Patrick more and more.
0:27:55 > 0:27:58Unbelievably brave, unbelievably charismatic.
0:27:58 > 0:28:03What I've lost in my beliefs about this mythical figure
0:28:03 > 0:28:07has been replaced by a new-found respect for the real guy.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09He's the world's most famous patron saint,
0:28:09 > 0:28:13'but who was the real Patrick? I'm on a quest to find out.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16'I'd say mission but the big man might get upset.'
0:28:17 > 0:28:20This would have been Patrick the Bishop.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22- He's back. He's got a few years... - He's back!
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Yeah! This time it's personal!
0:28:25 > 0:28:28You can see he's very different to Patrick the slave.
0:28:28 > 0:28:33It's much warmer, shall we say, as I model bishop chic!
0:28:33 > 0:28:35What else is different? It's a longer cut.
0:28:35 > 0:28:38It's much longer and you have several layers on of wool and linen.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40We know when Patrick comes back to Ireland
0:28:40 > 0:28:42that there are already Christians here.
0:28:42 > 0:28:44How would he have spread his message?
0:28:44 > 0:28:48He deliberately chose areas that were not Christianised already.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Wild areas, probably, very difficult.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54People in Ireland would have been aware of the Roman Empire
0:28:54 > 0:28:57and would have been aware of the richness and prestige
0:28:57 > 0:28:59attached to Roman culture.
0:28:59 > 0:29:02The Roman religion that was Christianity was probably
0:29:02 > 0:29:03appealing to people in that respect.
0:29:03 > 0:29:08So on top of the glamour of Rome, he spoke the lingo.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Yes, but the Welsh language and Latin has a "P" sound in it,
0:29:11 > 0:29:13- like his name, "Patrick".- Yeah.
0:29:13 > 0:29:18The native Irish couldn't pronounce "P" properly, we don't think.
0:29:18 > 0:29:21They had a "cuh" sound where the Welsh had a "puh" sound.
0:29:21 > 0:29:25So, for him in Ireland, his name would probably would have been
0:29:25 > 0:29:28rendered as something like "Cuh-trick".
0:29:28 > 0:29:31Even the most simple thing about St Patrick isn't as we thought.
0:29:31 > 0:29:33We would not have called him Patrick.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35We would have called him "Cuh-trick".
0:29:35 > 0:29:37In his writings, Patrick seems to be defensive.
0:29:37 > 0:29:39What sort of accusations did he face?
0:29:39 > 0:29:42There's a defensive tone to parts of the Confessio.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45It seems he was accused of financial impropriety.
0:29:45 > 0:29:48Newly-converted women were placing their jewels
0:29:48 > 0:29:50on the altar as offerings.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52For two reasons it might have been frowned upon.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54One - it was pagan practice.
0:29:54 > 0:29:58Two - Patrick would have been seen to be profiting from his converting
0:29:58 > 0:30:00of Christianity, and he flatly denies this.
0:30:00 > 0:30:04How hard would it have been for Patrick to traverse Ireland?
0:30:04 > 0:30:08They were probably travelling by foot, possibly on horseback
0:30:08 > 0:30:10and maybe someone high status like Patrick
0:30:10 > 0:30:13could have had access to a chariot.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22TENSE LATIN CHORAL MUSIC
0:30:45 > 0:30:48Dave, what evidence do we have that St Patrick would have ridden around
0:30:48 > 0:30:50in a chariot like that?
0:30:50 > 0:30:53We have his own words from his confession
0:30:53 > 0:30:57which tell us the kind of travel that he made around Ireland.
0:30:57 > 0:31:01He had to bring with him the king's sons as an escort.
0:31:01 > 0:31:05Just to announce to the people that they knew who he was,
0:31:05 > 0:31:09they knew the king's sons and he had permission to be there.
0:31:09 > 0:31:13Patrick was very much an outsider coming in
0:31:13 > 0:31:18and living by the rules of the Tuatha and tribal law.
0:31:20 > 0:31:25Travel in those days at that expense is high status.
0:31:25 > 0:31:29In the Gaelic world, the chariot is the heroic self-image.
0:31:29 > 0:31:34That's high status. It's the way people wanted to be seen.
0:31:34 > 0:31:38If I was trying to convert loads of people and was walking into a place
0:31:38 > 0:31:41and they've never heard of me before, walking in is one way to do it.
0:31:41 > 0:31:47Riding in on a chariot with 15 men behind you - best entrance.
0:31:47 > 0:31:50It just says, "Hi, I'm Patrick. I'm here."
0:31:52 > 0:31:55We have this image of Patrick traversing the country
0:31:55 > 0:31:59converting people left, right and centre. Is that accurate?
0:31:59 > 0:32:00Not at all.
0:32:00 > 0:32:03We've no evidence that Patrick ever strayed beyond a line
0:32:03 > 0:32:07that you could draw somewhere from Dublin to Galway or Mayo.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11His mission is totally confined to the northern half of the island.
0:32:11 > 0:32:13Is it accurate to say that he converted
0:32:13 > 0:32:15thousands upon thousands of people?
0:32:15 > 0:32:18Not thousands upon thousands upon thousands.
0:32:18 > 0:32:21But certainly a lot of people, mainly at the ruling level.
0:32:21 > 0:32:25He's going straight to what we might now call kings, the local despots,
0:32:25 > 0:32:29the people who had power, economic power as well as political power.
0:32:29 > 0:32:33They're already eating Roman food, dressing in Roman styles,
0:32:33 > 0:32:36interested in Roman religious practices.
0:32:36 > 0:32:39They're very receptive to somebody who speaks Latin
0:32:39 > 0:32:42and comes from what they see as the civilised part of the world.
0:32:42 > 0:32:46It's almost, for the ruling class, like a fashion statement.
0:32:46 > 0:32:47There are two types of mission.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51The missionaries who work with the homeless, outcast and poor.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54We also have those like the Jesuits who set up universities
0:32:54 > 0:32:56and work with the ruling class.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59Which model of mission does Patrick take? The Jesuit model.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01The question is - would the pagan Irish
0:33:01 > 0:33:04have converted to other religions in the same numbers?
0:33:04 > 0:33:06Depends on how they were proposed.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09"I'd like to talk to you about Islam. There's only one god."
0:33:09 > 0:33:11"Sounds good to me. "You can't drink."
0:33:11 > 0:33:13HE CHUCKLES
0:33:13 > 0:33:16"Or eat rashers and sausages." "No way!"
0:33:16 > 0:33:18"I'd like to talk to you about Judaism. Only one god."
0:33:18 > 0:33:20"Sounds good to me."
0:33:20 > 0:33:23"We're going to have to cut the end off your penis."
0:33:25 > 0:33:26"No way, thanks. No, no."
0:33:26 > 0:33:29"I'd like to talk to you about Hinduism.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31"There's loads of gods but you can't eat a burger."
0:33:31 > 0:33:32"Why not?" "They're made of beef."
0:33:32 > 0:33:34"Not in this country!"
0:33:37 > 0:33:39St Patrick preached Christianity,
0:33:39 > 0:33:42which is heavily reliant on the written word.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46What influence had the spread of Christianity on literacy in Ireland?
0:33:46 > 0:33:50Patrick brings a religion that is dependent on two books -
0:33:50 > 0:33:54the Bible and a book that you're going to use for liturgy.
0:33:54 > 0:33:56Now, if you're going to read those,
0:33:56 > 0:33:59they're available in this society in Latin.
0:33:59 > 0:34:01And this gives us access in Ireland
0:34:01 > 0:34:04to the language that is common throughout Western Europe.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08So this literacy gives us access to the whole culture of Western Europe.
0:34:08 > 0:34:10Patrick ends the isolation of Ireland
0:34:10 > 0:34:12which had not been part of the Roman Empire.
0:34:12 > 0:34:15What might have been achieved had we been part of the Roman Empire
0:34:15 > 0:34:19is achieved by Patrick in terms of bringing us into religious, social,
0:34:19 > 0:34:21commercial, literary contact with the rest of Europe,
0:34:21 > 0:34:24that hadn't been possible when we were outside the Roman Empire.
0:34:24 > 0:34:27Literacy - that's not emphasised enough.
0:34:27 > 0:34:31He promoted Christianity, Christianity promoted literacy
0:34:31 > 0:34:34and that's the society we have now.
0:34:34 > 0:34:36How am I doing here?
0:34:36 > 0:34:38Em... well, it's what you'd call a "cursive script"
0:34:38 > 0:34:41so that's a polite way of saying it's bad writing.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46- Now, I notice you've got spaces between the words.- Yeah.
0:34:46 > 0:34:49That's probably cos you're Irish. The Irish are responsible for
0:34:49 > 0:34:53- introducing spaces between words.- In the whole world?- Pretty much, yeah.
0:34:53 > 0:34:55- In the whole Western world, the Irish did that.- Why?
0:34:55 > 0:34:57The Irish had no notion of Latin.
0:34:57 > 0:35:00They were learning it as a foreign language, so they needed
0:35:00 > 0:35:04to separate the words in order to understand what was going on.
0:35:04 > 0:35:08So, there's some Irish fella going, "So, you invented words?"
0:35:08 > 0:35:11"We invented the space between the words!"
0:35:12 > 0:35:14Ah-ha-ha...
0:35:14 > 0:35:18'Monks used to carry pocket gospels with abbreviations in them'
0:35:18 > 0:35:20so the books could be kept short.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23They could tell the story of Easter in just 22 letters.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25You don't believe me?
0:35:25 > 0:35:29JC DOA. JC AWOL. OMG. JC AOK. LOL!
0:35:29 > 0:35:31LAUGHTER
0:35:31 > 0:35:32Smiley face if you have space.
0:35:34 > 0:35:38These are copies from the Book of Kells, some of my own artwork.
0:35:38 > 0:35:42- You'll see the first thing about it, it's quite detailed.- Yeah.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45What they would have been using to get that detail was quartz stones.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48If you hold it up, it's like a piece of glass - it magnifies it.
0:35:48 > 0:35:51The inks they'd have been using - they would have spent every expense.
0:35:51 > 0:35:53Kermes red is made from
0:35:53 > 0:35:56a crushed, pregnant, Mediterranean Kermes beetle.
0:35:56 > 0:35:59- Of course!- So you've got to go to the Mediterranean,
0:35:59 > 0:36:02you've got to find the right type of beetle,
0:36:02 > 0:36:04you've got to make sure it's female and pregnant, crush it up.
0:36:04 > 0:36:07It's the same stuff that goes into Coco Chanel lipstick.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11How do you get the beetle to pee on a stick to tell if it's pregnant?
0:36:11 > 0:36:13I don't know! You... I don't know!
0:36:13 > 0:36:14You just have to ask around!
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Rumours are being spread about the beetle and that's how you know!
0:36:18 > 0:36:22- Find one that was in a scandal! - OK, so that's red, that's brown,
0:36:22 > 0:36:25- what about blue? - The really expensive one
0:36:25 > 0:36:27was made from this stuff - lapis lazuli.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30When polished up, it's still used in jewellery today.
0:36:30 > 0:36:33It's called ultra marine. This stuff was only found in one place
0:36:33 > 0:36:36in the world at the time of the Book of Kells - northeast Afghanistan
0:36:36 > 0:36:40and by the time it reached Ireland, it would have been dearer than gold.
0:36:40 > 0:36:44This stuff was used so sparingly that it was only used generally for
0:36:44 > 0:36:47two figures - Christ and the Virgin Mary. That's why when you still see
0:36:47 > 0:36:51Catholic statues of the Virgin Mary, she's dressed in blue.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55- Avatar must have been unbelievably expensive.- Hugely.- And the Smurfs.
0:36:55 > 0:36:57TOGETHER: Braveheart!
0:36:57 > 0:36:59What did the illustrations in the Book of Kells mean?
0:36:59 > 0:37:02One of the most common ones you'd get are the four evangelists
0:37:02 > 0:37:05who wrote the gospel - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
0:37:05 > 0:37:08They're represented by a man, a lion, a calf and an eagle.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11When they drew lions, it's basically a big, scary cat
0:37:11 > 0:37:14or a big scary dog-like creature!
0:37:14 > 0:37:17Because they couldn't nip down to Dublin Zoo and look at a lion.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20What they were working on was vellum.
0:37:20 > 0:37:22OK, now this is a calf skin.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25It probably took 150-200 cows being slaughtered
0:37:25 > 0:37:27to get enough pages for the Book of Kells.
0:37:27 > 0:37:30The Book of Kells is made up of 185 calf skins.
0:37:30 > 0:37:33I like to stand behind American tourists when they're looking at it
0:37:33 > 0:37:35and pretend it's haunted...
0:37:35 > 0:37:36"Mooooo!"
0:37:36 > 0:37:39HIGH-PITCHED MOOING
0:37:39 > 0:37:42(AMERICAN ACCENT) "Oh, my God, I can hear lowing!" "Mooo!"
0:37:42 > 0:37:44"I can hear lowing! What does it mean?"
0:37:44 > 0:37:46"Oh, they say only the special people
0:37:46 > 0:37:49"can hear the calves of the Book of Kells!"
0:37:49 > 0:37:53"What are they saying?" "They're saying, 'Please!
0:37:53 > 0:37:55"'Please!
0:37:55 > 0:37:58"'Buy something in the gift shop!'"
0:38:12 > 0:38:15We should explain where we are. We are on Croagh Patrick,
0:38:15 > 0:38:18the site that's most associated with St Patrick.
0:38:18 > 0:38:20Is this originally a pagan site, though?
0:38:20 > 0:38:24Well, at the end of July every year, as you know,
0:38:24 > 0:38:26the pilgrims process up the mountain.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30We think that it might have been a site of pre-Christian pilgrimage
0:38:30 > 0:38:32on the festival of Lughnasa around the 1st August,
0:38:32 > 0:38:35that's why it's still celebrated on the last Sunday in July.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39And people walk up it in their bare feet like... like ONE of us!
0:38:39 > 0:38:42- They do! - One of the most authentic people,
0:38:42 > 0:38:44rather than you with your lovely, shiny boots!
0:38:44 > 0:38:47- Well, you're the devout Christian here, Neil!- Yes, I am the bishop!
0:38:47 > 0:38:51Are a lot of the sites associated with Patrick originally pagan?
0:38:51 > 0:38:55Well, they wrote him very much into the mythology of places like Tara.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57They have very ancient pedigrees going back
0:38:57 > 0:39:00to the pre-Christian period and it was a way of carrying forward
0:39:00 > 0:39:03the ancient tradition in this sort of new, Christian context.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08The only item of clothing Patrick ever mentioned in the Confessio
0:39:08 > 0:39:12- was his shoes, so... You haven't had shoes?!- Why didn't you give me
0:39:12 > 0:39:15the bloody shoes down at the bottom of the hill?!
0:39:15 > 0:39:16The penance is good for you!
0:39:16 > 0:39:20I can't believe you kept them! That is not funny!
0:39:20 > 0:39:21That is not funny!
0:39:21 > 0:39:26I nearly fell on my hole down there! And you had shoes in your bag?!
0:39:27 > 0:39:29So, is this where Patrick banished the snakes from?
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Well, it's funny you should mention that, actually...
0:39:32 > 0:39:36- Because... Ah, Jesus!- Is that a real snake?- That's a real snake!
0:39:36 > 0:39:39- Ah, here! OK, hold on.- Try him on for size, he'll warm you up!
0:39:39 > 0:39:41Oh, I don't like snakes.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45When I was making this documentary, I had one rule - no snakes.
0:39:45 > 0:39:48So, imagine my surprise as I was walking up Croagh Patrick
0:39:48 > 0:39:49towards the chapel at the summit,
0:39:49 > 0:39:52when Billy stopped, took off his backpack,
0:39:52 > 0:39:54took a snake out and draped it around my shoulders!
0:39:56 > 0:39:58Where's his head?
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Can you not feel it there?
0:40:00 > 0:40:03Oh... Yeah. Where is his head?
0:40:03 > 0:40:05And I could hear a "hissss..."
0:40:05 > 0:40:08It wasn't the snake, I'd pissed myself!
0:40:08 > 0:40:12- What's his name? - That's Diesel, the python.
0:40:12 > 0:40:14- He's a python?- Yeah.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16- So, at some point he...- Yeah.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19I couldn't look at Billy. I couldn't look at the snake.
0:40:19 > 0:40:20I looked over there and suddenly
0:40:20 > 0:40:24I could just feel this tongue flick my ear!
0:40:24 > 0:40:28And all I could think was, "Jesus Christ!"
0:40:28 > 0:40:30"I hope that was Billy!"
0:40:32 > 0:40:36I really don't want to turn around and see a snake's head just there
0:40:36 > 0:40:38like some sort of evil Siamese twin!
0:40:38 > 0:40:42I want to turn around and see Billy in the nip.
0:40:42 > 0:40:44Having risked it all
0:40:44 > 0:40:47on a fairly risky romantic, homosexual proposition!
0:40:47 > 0:40:50At that point, I'd be like, "Thank God for that!"
0:40:50 > 0:40:53"Kiss me quick, we can confess in the chapel.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56"Let's make Croagh Patrick into Brokeback Mountain!"
0:40:58 > 0:41:01You're a deeply sadistic man, aren't you?
0:41:01 > 0:41:04Neil, you should suffer for your art!
0:41:04 > 0:41:08We know that snakes didn't make it to Ireland after the Ice Age.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Ireland got cut off from Britain before they could make it over.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14You do realise you could have said absolutely anything there?
0:41:14 > 0:41:17You could have said he invented speed boats or briquettes,
0:41:17 > 0:41:20and all I can think of is, "I've got a snake around my neck!"
0:41:23 > 0:41:25What do you think the driving force
0:41:25 > 0:41:28behind Patrick's mission to Ireland was?
0:41:28 > 0:41:30Whatever happened to Patrick
0:41:30 > 0:41:33when he returned to Britain after being a captive in Ireland,
0:41:33 > 0:41:37he became utterly convinced that the end of the world was very close
0:41:37 > 0:41:41and he believed the only thing that was preventing the return of Jesus
0:41:41 > 0:41:45was there were some places out on the frontiers, even beyond
0:41:45 > 0:41:49the frontiers of the empire, that hadn't heard of Jesus Christ.
0:41:49 > 0:41:53And he thinks that if he announces the gospel there,
0:41:53 > 0:41:55he is, as it were, the herald of the end.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01That's them all done, my Lord. You may begin the day of judgment!
0:42:08 > 0:42:12The very edge of the world, my Lord. Nothing more to be done!
0:42:15 > 0:42:17I'm pretty sure that's everything.
0:42:18 > 0:42:20I've been very thorough.
0:42:22 > 0:42:26- Patrick would be shocked that we're here.- Yeah!
0:42:26 > 0:42:29He would have been surprised that his theology was so wrong.
0:42:33 > 0:42:35Could you have left someone out?
0:42:35 > 0:42:38Nah. I would have spotted another pagan.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure! I'm 100%.
0:42:42 > 0:42:45There are no more pagans.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48How can you be sure I'm the last one?
0:42:48 > 0:42:50You must have forgotten someone.
0:42:51 > 0:42:53Nah!
0:42:53 > 0:42:54- Pat.- Tony.
0:42:57 > 0:43:00The Christian community in Ireland
0:43:00 > 0:43:02see Patrick as a loose cannon.
0:43:02 > 0:43:05He's a maverick. He's an oddball.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08The Confessio is his complaint to these people.
0:43:08 > 0:43:11It's a bit like a letter to the paper saying,
0:43:11 > 0:43:13"Who are you to be giving out about me?
0:43:13 > 0:43:15"I'm doing something completely different.
0:43:15 > 0:43:18"The end is coming. My authority is coming straight from God."
0:43:18 > 0:43:22- "To whom it may concern... Yours, etc. Patrick."- Exactly.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24So, if Patrick is so wildly off message,
0:43:24 > 0:43:27- then why is he the poster boy for Christianity?- To understand that,
0:43:27 > 0:43:30you have to think of Ireland in the late 7th century.
0:43:30 > 0:43:34It's an island full of petty kingdoms
0:43:34 > 0:43:36and families warring with one another.
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Muirchu and a few other churchmen
0:43:38 > 0:43:41come up with the vision of "one island, one nation".
0:43:41 > 0:43:46Then there's one people, one family. Then there shouldn't be fighting.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49And if you're going to have a baptised nation,
0:43:49 > 0:43:54you need someone to baptise us. For Muirchu, Patrick is an ideal person,
0:43:54 > 0:43:56long ago, not linked with anyone,
0:43:56 > 0:44:01not known too much, not associated with any one church.
0:44:01 > 0:44:05He will baptise the nation. The one who baptises them is their apostle.
0:44:05 > 0:44:09The apostles are those who will judge the 12 tribes of Israel.
0:44:09 > 0:44:11If Patrick is the apostle of the Irish,
0:44:11 > 0:44:14Patrick gets to judge the Irish at the end.
0:44:14 > 0:44:18Myth suggests Patrick will judge the Irish at the end of time,
0:44:18 > 0:44:21which is going to be brilliant - 7 billion people lined up
0:44:21 > 0:44:23to be judged by God, and about 5 or 6 million of us lined up
0:44:23 > 0:44:26to be judged by Patrick. It'll be like having priority boarding!
0:44:26 > 0:44:30Just walking by the Chinese going, "Ah-ha-ha!
0:44:30 > 0:44:34"That really didn't work out for ye, that one-child policy, did it?"
0:44:34 > 0:44:38There'll be four big red leather chairs for the judges - St Patrick,
0:44:38 > 0:44:41St Brigid, Colmcille and then Bressie!
0:44:42 > 0:44:45Patrick will be reading CVs. "What's the name - Bertie Ahern?"
0:44:45 > 0:44:47"Whoa! I should send you to purgatory
0:44:47 > 0:44:50"but I sent Jackie Healy-Rae there 20 minutes ago
0:44:50 > 0:44:52"and he's already got it rezoned.
0:44:52 > 0:44:55"It's now Killarney west and has a leisure centre! Come back to me."
0:44:55 > 0:44:59"What's the name? Ooh... Martin McGuinness. Whoa!"
0:44:59 > 0:45:02"There's a lot of stuff here. Let's just go through the bullet points.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04"Probably shouldn't have used that phrase!
0:45:04 > 0:45:07"It's a game of two halves, I'll be honest. The '70s and '80s -
0:45:07 > 0:45:11"not looking great. '90s and noughties - you did a lot.
0:45:11 > 0:45:14"The thing is, Martin, I'm only judging Irish people
0:45:14 > 0:45:16"and technically speaking..."
0:45:16 > 0:45:18- AUDIENCE:- Ooh!
0:45:20 > 0:45:23"You should have seen your face, Martin! I'm only messin'!
0:45:23 > 0:45:26"Go on outta that! You thought I was going to put you in the other queue
0:45:26 > 0:45:28"over there with Rory McIlroy!"
0:45:28 > 0:45:30LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:45:32 > 0:45:35He's very intense. Like, he's really driven.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38He strikes me as the kind of Roy Keane of his day.
0:45:38 > 0:45:41I'd imagine he would convert a pagan and not really enjoy it.
0:45:41 > 0:45:43He wouldn't live in the moment.
0:45:43 > 0:45:46He would go, "I have to convert the next pagan, and the next pagan..."
0:45:55 > 0:45:58So, Patrick dies sometime between 463 AD and 493 AD
0:45:58 > 0:46:00and this is where he's allegedly buried?
0:46:00 > 0:46:04The hill here in Downpatrick is the traditional burial place of Patrick.
0:46:04 > 0:46:08- How do we know he's actually buried here.- Well, the Book of Armagh,
0:46:08 > 0:46:11written a couple of hundred years after Patrick's death,
0:46:11 > 0:46:13relates that he didn't die in Armagh
0:46:13 > 0:46:16which is, of course, where they would want him to have been buried.
0:46:16 > 0:46:20Patrick was buried here, and they had to find an excuse.
0:46:20 > 0:46:23According to that book, his body was put on the back of an oxen cart.
0:46:23 > 0:46:26And they seem to have been wayward cows
0:46:26 > 0:46:29because obviously they should have gone somewhere in Armagh
0:46:29 > 0:46:33but they took a wrong turn somewhere near Newry and apparently came here.
0:46:33 > 0:46:35Well, those roundabouts are very confusing as well.
0:46:35 > 0:46:39- They can be very confusing, yes! - Particularly for cattle, like!
0:46:39 > 0:46:42The gravestone was put here about 100 years ago because people used to
0:46:42 > 0:46:46come and take a scoop of earth from St Patrick's grave for luck.
0:46:46 > 0:46:50Bram Stoker, he came from Clontarf,
0:46:50 > 0:46:53but he married a lady from Newcastle which is just down the road
0:46:53 > 0:46:57and he heard of this tradition, and he incorporated it into
0:46:57 > 0:47:02the Dracula story, so that Dracula has to travel with his own soil.
0:47:02 > 0:47:04From what you've read and all your research,
0:47:04 > 0:47:06what do you think of the man himself -
0:47:06 > 0:47:08the historical guy, not the superman?
0:47:08 > 0:47:10I think it's worth celebrating the real St Patrick
0:47:10 > 0:47:13because he is a very interesting individual.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17He's been a slave, there's this piracy involved in his stories.
0:47:17 > 0:47:19He's truculent, he's very wilful.
0:47:19 > 0:47:21He goes AWOL on the Church.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24He comes here and decides he's going to create his own Church.
0:47:24 > 0:47:27He's Sinead O'Connor, isn't he?
0:47:27 > 0:47:30He's... He's very wilful! That's the word!
0:47:31 > 0:47:34He was the poster pin-up boy of the early Christian movement.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37He was the Donny Osmond of the early Christian movement.
0:47:37 > 0:47:41You're showing your age! Let's say Justin Bieber, shall we?
0:47:41 > 0:47:42Justin Bieber, OK!
0:47:42 > 0:47:45What happens around these parts on March 17th to celebrate him?
0:47:45 > 0:47:50As a community, we come out and lay a wreath here on St Patrick's grave.
0:47:50 > 0:47:53And the parade itself - it's a small parade compared to Dublin.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56But we have it as a cross-community festival.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59What better role model for this part of Ireland
0:47:59 > 0:48:02than someone from Britain who became the patron saint of Ireland?
0:48:02 > 0:48:05You can't get any more cross-community than that.
0:48:05 > 0:48:06PARADE MUSIC
0:48:06 > 0:48:10So how do you get from Patrick the man to the modern-day parades?
0:48:10 > 0:48:12The first parades are American-based.
0:48:12 > 0:48:16You see in the 18th century, around 1730 - 1737 is a big date.
0:48:16 > 0:48:19In Boston, there is a tradition where it's Irish guys
0:48:19 > 0:48:21serving in the British Army.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24They want to go for a few beers, it's their national day.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26So they go and parade outside their commander's house.
0:48:26 > 0:48:30They make a raucous noise. The commander comes out,
0:48:30 > 0:48:33throws them a few pounds, they're off down the pub.
0:48:33 > 0:48:35You can see how that would catch on!
0:48:35 > 0:48:38If you're given money the first time you walk by and you can go
0:48:38 > 0:48:41and get boozed up, this will be a thing you'll do every year.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44Once the British leave in the middle of the 18th century,
0:48:44 > 0:48:47you then see an Irish diaspora taking control of it.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50It will be from a pub to the church for mass or on the way back.
0:48:50 > 0:48:53I like the way they decided to have a parade on the routes
0:48:53 > 0:48:56they were going to and from anyway! "We're going to the pub and mass.
0:48:56 > 0:48:58"Might as well make a song and dance about it!"
0:48:58 > 0:49:00Everything goes green for St Patrick's Day!
0:49:00 > 0:49:04Landmarks are lit up green. Rivers are dyed green.
0:49:04 > 0:49:07In border counties, even their diesel..!
0:49:07 > 0:49:08LAUGHTER
0:49:08 > 0:49:11And was green always the colour of St Patrick?
0:49:11 > 0:49:13No, St Patrick's colour is blue.
0:49:13 > 0:49:16Patrick's day used to be a different colour.
0:49:16 > 0:49:17Green wasn't the colour.
0:49:17 > 0:49:21- I'm pretty sure that's Pepsi and Santa Claus!- No, it's not!
0:49:21 > 0:49:23PARADE MUSIC
0:49:23 > 0:49:27The parading tradition is kind of new in some ways to Ireland.
0:49:27 > 0:49:29In the middle of the 19th century, after the famine,
0:49:29 > 0:49:33you see bizarrely, it's actually a temperance movement who are
0:49:33 > 0:49:34the first people to begin parading.
0:49:34 > 0:49:38- That would seem like a bit of a...! - It's a contradiction in terms.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41From the 1920s, it's a military parade.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45It's the Free State Army up and down O'Connell Street.
0:49:45 > 0:49:48After the Second World War, the industrial parades.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52All those images of the Guinness trucks, these kinds of things.
0:49:52 > 0:49:54It's Irish industry being put on the street.
0:49:54 > 0:49:57It changed dramatically in the late 20th century
0:49:57 > 0:50:00when it became much more a marketing ploy for Failte Ireland,
0:50:00 > 0:50:02for Guinness, selling Ireland as a brand.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05We've got the snakes, we've got the shamrock, we've got the green,
0:50:05 > 0:50:07all that paddywhackery, if you like.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10But what we haven't got is any sense of a 5th century character
0:50:10 > 0:50:13who brought Christianity to the Irish State.
0:50:13 > 0:50:15Sham-rocks! Sham-rocks!
0:50:24 > 0:50:28When I started this search, this pursuit of Patrick,
0:50:28 > 0:50:30I thought I knew exactly what I'd find.
0:50:32 > 0:50:33How wrong I was!
0:50:35 > 0:50:38The real Patrick I think we should celebrate
0:50:38 > 0:50:39because nobody knows him, really.
0:50:39 > 0:50:43The Patrick who is talked about on March 17th is a different person.
0:50:43 > 0:50:46In fact, he's not a person at all. He's a figment of the imagination.
0:50:46 > 0:50:49He's a folk hero. He's a national hero in lots of ways.
0:50:49 > 0:50:52Patrick is our first real voice from Ireland.
0:50:52 > 0:50:55He's moving us from prehistory to history.
0:50:55 > 0:50:59When you read his writings, you actually get into the psychology
0:50:59 > 0:51:01and mindset of a 5th century Christian,
0:51:01 > 0:51:03which is absolutely amazing.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06He's relevant. That's the most important thing.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08He's not just an historical figure.
0:51:08 > 0:51:11Patrick comes before there's a division in the Church
0:51:11 > 0:51:13between Catholic and Protestant.
0:51:13 > 0:51:16No matter where you come from, Patrick is somebody
0:51:16 > 0:51:19that we can all claim, that we can all own as our own, as our patron.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23If we've learnt anything from this programme
0:51:23 > 0:51:26it's that every generation - if it's 200 years after he died,
0:51:26 > 0:51:31if it's the 1800s in America - Patrick belongs to all of us.
0:51:31 > 0:51:36And what we do is we use whatever version of Patrick we need
0:51:36 > 0:51:37for the time.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Can you take this snake off me now? - I suppose.