Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:06- Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...- Sensational!

0:00:06 > 0:00:08..one antiques expert each...

0:00:08 > 0:00:10This is Ch'ien-Lung.

0:00:10 > 0:00:11Well done.

0:00:13 > 0:00:17..and one big challenge. Who can seek out and buy the best antiques

0:00:17 > 0:00:19at the very best prices...

0:00:19 > 0:00:21I am going to kill him.

0:00:21 > 0:00:25- ..and auction for a big profit... - A new bidder, thank you.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27..further down the road?

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Who will spot the good investments?

0:00:30 > 0:00:33Who will listen to advice?

0:00:34 > 0:00:38And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

0:00:38 > 0:00:41Time to put your mettle to the pedal.

0:00:41 > 0:00:45This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip. Yeah!

0:00:51 > 0:00:55Joining us on the road trip, we have a headline act.

0:00:55 > 0:01:00The lions of the newsroom face their biggest challenge yet.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Tonight, 48 hours before the G8 Summit,

0:01:03 > 0:01:06he's threatened to train Russian missiles on Europe

0:01:06 > 0:01:10- unless- he- drops plans to put a defence shield in Russia's back yard.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13She's the queen of political interviewing.

0:01:13 > 0:01:15She tackled everyone,

0:01:15 > 0:01:18from Alex Salmond to Margaret Thatcher to Madonna.

0:01:18 > 0:01:20You know, the pop singer?

0:01:20 > 0:01:23She's Newsnight's Kirsty Wark.

0:01:23 > 0:01:28We won't let you starve. I'll give you profit on these and I'll buy you a bag of chips.

0:01:28 > 0:01:32In a few moments, Her Majesty the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh will arrive.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35Then it's Tonight's co-anchor and co-pilot,

0:01:35 > 0:01:38"Lights Camera Action

0:01:38 > 0:01:40"Stop, Police!",

0:01:40 > 0:01:42it's ITN's Alastair Stewart.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44I'm biddable, as they say in the trade.

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Before they get competitive,

0:01:46 > 0:01:50they fight over the driver's seat in this sporty 1960 Daimler Dart.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54Heads you drive, tails you sit.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58I mostly use a ten-pence coin. These celebrities! Honestly!

0:01:58 > 0:02:01Lending Kirsty and Alastair a hand,

0:02:01 > 0:02:05we have our pair of roving reporters from the world of antiques

0:02:05 > 0:02:08driving in this 1967 Triumph Vitesse...

0:02:10 > 0:02:15The lovely Catherine Southon, an expert in scientific and medical instruments, amongst other things,

0:02:15 > 0:02:18but she also likes the simple things in life.

0:02:18 > 0:02:21Pig scraper? What's a pig scraper?

0:02:21 > 0:02:26Now, I know what you're thinking. "Ooh, would you like my seat, sir?"

0:02:26 > 0:02:29But actually, he's as fit as a fiddle.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32He's an auctioneer, an ex-teacher, he's Philip Serrell.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34You're an angel! Mwah!

0:02:38 > 0:02:42Drawing on expert advice, and testing their powers of negotiation,

0:02:42 > 0:02:46Kirsty and Alastair have £400 each, two days of shopping,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49one upcoming auction and a lot to learn. Fast.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52I quite like to have the money in my hand. What about you?

0:02:52 > 0:02:57I think we have to admit that, given what we do for a living, we do quite like to be in charge.

0:02:57 > 0:03:02I have to say, that is a problem. Therefore, it's our mistakes.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04I think if it goes well, it's our victory

0:03:04 > 0:03:07- and if it goes badly, we blame the experts.- Exactly!

0:03:07 > 0:03:10You know, I always do.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15But before anyone puts their career on the line, let's look at the road ahead.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Scotland lays out its antique treasures for us

0:03:19 > 0:03:22before heading to a make-or-break auction

0:03:22 > 0:03:25way down south in Sheerness, Kent.

0:03:27 > 0:03:30First stop is Kirsty's former university town

0:03:30 > 0:03:33where our experts and celebrities can meet - Edinburgh.

0:03:33 > 0:03:38I think they're going to be a lot better at buying antiques than we'd be at news reading.

0:03:38 > 0:03:43- You'd be hilarious at it! - I wouldn't take it seriously. - There'd be this miserable face -

0:03:43 > 0:03:48- What do you mean, miserable? - "This is Phil Serrell." - Are you trying to say something?

0:03:48 > 0:03:51- I didn't kill us.- No, you didn't.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55More importantly, you didn't scratch the paintwork.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59Now, go and grab yourselves an antiques expert each.

0:03:59 > 0:04:02We're arguing already! ALL TALK AT ONCE

0:04:02 > 0:04:04- I'm Catherine.- Good to see you.

0:04:04 > 0:04:07I had thought it could be us against you,

0:04:07 > 0:04:10but you might win and that wouldn't do our cred any good.

0:04:10 > 0:04:15- Let's be absolutely clear, this is Kirsty Wark, this is Scotland.- Yes! - This is Alastair, up from England.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18You've got an advantage. You can come with me!

0:04:18 > 0:04:21- That leaves us! - I think that worked perfectly.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- I hope that's OK! - Delusions of grandeur!

0:04:24 > 0:04:27The shops are open, the dealers are waiting

0:04:27 > 0:04:30and that £400 won't spend itself. Let's get cracking!

0:04:30 > 0:04:34This is burning a hole in my hand. 400 quid. You keep it.

0:04:34 > 0:04:38- This comes easy to me. We've got to be mean.- Yes.- I am very mean.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42- OK, so good-cop, bad-cop?- Yes, yes.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45Whatever it takes to win is worth a try.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Bit of tactics and strategy first.

0:04:47 > 0:04:53Let me tell you something about Philip. Philip is mean! He doesn't spend a lot of money.

0:04:53 > 0:04:58And he's got a great eye for curious, wacky items.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02I think Kirsty is very knowledgeable about anything that is Edinburgh.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Do you think she's going to spend a lot of money?- I think she will.

0:05:05 > 0:05:07So they'll have a falling out.

0:05:07 > 0:05:11- We shall agree. - We shall agree on everything!

0:05:11 > 0:05:12I like your style.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16Let's hope this here Courtyard Antiques

0:05:16 > 0:05:19can provide an arsenal for your big autumn campaign.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22Things like this are sometimes interesting.

0:05:22 > 0:05:271916. It's pretty brutal First World War stuff, isn't it?

0:05:27 > 0:05:31There's the Kaiser. "How I deal with the small fry" it says.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33- Menacing, isn't it?- Absolutely.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36A clever dealer is going to cruelly destroy that,

0:05:36 > 0:05:40take the plates out and frame them? No?

0:05:40 > 0:05:42- Quite possibly. - But we're not priced.

0:05:42 > 0:05:46- We want to go quite low on these, don't we?- Yes.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51- 30 to 60? - I was going to say 20 to 30.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- I don't think we want to pay more. - For the set?

0:05:53 > 0:05:57Local proprietor Lewis is on hand to help.

0:05:57 > 0:06:03What do you, hand on heart, believe to be the best that you can do on these magazines?

0:06:03 > 0:06:0515 each.

0:06:05 > 0:06:07- 15 each.- So 45.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09There's damp and a spine damaged.

0:06:09 > 0:06:13- If you said 30 for the three... - I think we need to go lower.- Do you?

0:06:13 > 0:06:17I don't think we should pay any more than £20.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20- What do you think the best is that you can do?- 30.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24Would you be able to meet in the middle at 25 or..?

0:06:24 > 0:06:27I started off at 45

0:06:27 > 0:06:31and we're now at 30, so I'm kind of in the middle.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34More in our middle?

0:06:34 > 0:06:3725 quid for the three.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39- I think that's good.- I do, too.

0:06:39 > 0:06:43I think there's a market for these and I think they're absolutely fascinating.

0:06:43 > 0:06:48A lightning-quick purchase in Alastair's fast-moving antique-shopping story.

0:06:48 > 0:06:53Stay with us for full coverage of this and other buying tales as they unfold.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Now for Kirsty and Phil's first shop.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Sadly, the owner is rather shy,

0:07:01 > 0:07:04but we have an idea of what he may look like.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06Oh, I quite like these.

0:07:06 > 0:07:11What it's trying to be is somewhere between 1780 and 1820, and it's not that.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15Not overly PC, the hunting, shooting, fishing thing.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17But the actual execution of these is quite nice.

0:07:17 > 0:07:21Oh, unfortunate choice of words, Kirsty.

0:07:21 > 0:07:25Cock fighting is not fashionable or indeed pleasant.

0:07:25 > 0:07:31However, these have a strange appeal as rural sporting themes.

0:07:31 > 0:07:35- Mr Shop Man! Your cock fighting... - They're £50.- 50.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39For four? I'd say more 20 for four. 10 for four.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42You'd be hard-pressed to get rid of them in Edinburgh at the moment.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45- I think he'd do well to get his money back.- I do.

0:07:45 > 0:07:49Sorry, sir, there's no hiding from hard-haggling Philip Serrell.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Believe me, I've tried.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54You can be the voice.

0:07:54 > 0:07:59You can be the international man of mystery. The Antique Man Of Mystery is you.

0:07:59 > 0:08:01- He's very handsome.- Isn't he ever?

0:08:01 > 0:08:05- He should've put some clothes on. - No, no, he's got a sporran on. - That's all right.

0:08:05 > 0:08:08We're looking at this little one here.

0:08:08 > 0:08:13- That's 30 squid.- It starts at 30. Let's think about this.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- I do like your style. - We'll just check...

0:08:16 > 0:08:19- It's nice to see a pro at work. - This is a rather nice little table.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23- It's Edwardian. It's made out of mahogany. - It's got a really nice inset here.

0:08:23 > 0:08:27- This is...- Boxwood. - She's good, isn't she?

0:08:27 > 0:08:31Let me tell you something. These things have crashed in value.

0:08:31 > 0:08:35On a bad day, in a bad auction, this is like 20 quid.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- Get out?- Yes. - But I would take that home.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40You might have to!

0:08:40 > 0:08:43It's a crying shame,

0:08:43 > 0:08:48but a solid wood Edwardian table is just not modern taste.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Like a Black Forest gateau, it's gorgeous and delicious,

0:08:51 > 0:08:53but deeply unfashionable.

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- Let's take it upstairs.- I suppose we've got to be hard-headed.

0:08:57 > 0:09:02- The things I like are not necessarily going to sell. - You've got to be mega hard-headed.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05He wants 30 for the table and 20 for these.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09I think £30 all in or 35.

0:09:09 > 0:09:10Hello?

0:09:10 > 0:09:14- Hello.- We like these prints and we also like the table,

0:09:14 > 0:09:16but we think you're asking too much.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19- There's a recession.- There is. - Doom and gloom!

0:09:19 > 0:09:23We'd like to offer you £35 for the table and the prints.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25I can't do it.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- You can't?- He said that with such a lovely smile on his face!

0:09:28 > 0:09:32- Shall we split the difference? - What's the difference?- £47.50.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35No, no! £45, woman! Just shh!

0:09:35 > 0:09:38We've got 45 for the prints and the table. That's it.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42- Just to get you out of the shop... - Just to get us out, 45? Done!

0:09:42 > 0:09:46A final triumph with Edinburgh's mystery shopkeeper.

0:09:46 > 0:09:51And now, Team Wark is swapping shops with Team Stewart.

0:09:51 > 0:09:56Let's hope Alastair and Catherine can get a good deal from Mr Bashful.

0:09:57 > 0:10:01Nut basher, nut cracker. It's not brand new, is it?

0:10:01 > 0:10:05- It has seen a few nuts cracked in its time.- It certainly has.

0:10:05 > 0:10:08- Bit of kitchenalia. - Beautifully described.

0:10:08 > 0:10:11- Would you have that at home? - I would.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- In your kitchen? - I would. What are we looking for?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16£5.

0:10:16 > 0:10:18Er...

0:10:18 > 0:10:21- Can we go -- I'm going to buy it. - Oh!- I'm sorry!

0:10:21 > 0:10:26- I've got to barter. Would you take three? No. Would you take five? - BOTH: Yes!

0:10:27 > 0:10:31This is going to be used to bash you round the head!

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- A fiver. Very nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38Really nice to meet you, whoever you are.

0:10:38 > 0:10:41What is it with Edinburgh today?

0:10:41 > 0:10:42We won't bite. Much.

0:10:42 > 0:10:47- Let's go round the bend. - Let's go round here.

0:10:53 > 0:10:56Look at this fabric. It is absolutely glorious.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59- I'm not really an expert on dresses. - Why not?

0:10:59 > 0:11:02DRAMATIC NEWS-STYLE MUSIC

0:11:08 > 0:11:11I love her to bits because she's got a real hard eye.

0:11:11 > 0:11:15The thing that bothers me is, a shopping trip could turn into...

0:11:15 > 0:11:17..a shopping trip.

0:11:17 > 0:11:22- Do you know what you could do with this?- Hang it up. - It would make a great skirt.

0:11:22 > 0:11:25I can feel one of my headaches coming on.

0:11:25 > 0:11:26I might take it, if that's OK.

0:11:26 > 0:11:31Of course, you're not really supposed to shop for yourself on this road trip,

0:11:31 > 0:11:33but it's your money.

0:11:33 > 0:11:35I'm powerless to stop you.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39- There are more dresses upstairs. - Fantastic! I can barely wait.

0:11:39 > 0:11:41I like this!

0:11:41 > 0:11:44That propeller over there, the far one...

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- The one with the little red engine. - What's the very best on that?

0:11:47 > 0:11:50Is there any way we can get that under £100?

0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Are you buying something else? - Yes.- We might be.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56Several things, we're not sure what, but that it's a component.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00- This propeller could be 30. - Oh, I like that!

0:12:00 > 0:12:04I've got a certain affinity with it because it has seen better days.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06It's probably been in the water for a long time.

0:12:06 > 0:12:10Perhaps we can create a story of a First World War pilot

0:12:10 > 0:12:13who was shot down over the Channel.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15- Am I just going on again?- Yes.- OK.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18I think we're looking at two propellers here.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21Kirsty likes this highly polished one for £90

0:12:21 > 0:12:25and Phil likes this scruffy old thing for £30.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Funny what we all gravitate towards, isn't it?

0:12:28 > 0:12:31I think you might like this, Kirsty, these pressed flowers.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I noticed it out the corner of my eye.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I wondered if it'd sell, but I do think they're wonderful.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40Bird's-foot Trefoil. These are lovely.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43A lot of these wild flowers are hard to see out there.

0:12:43 > 0:12:46Brooklimes... Someone's put a lot of effort into this.

0:12:46 > 0:12:49So they've given us £400

0:12:49 > 0:12:52and we're going to buy 80-year-old dead weeds?

0:12:52 > 0:12:54But they are beautiful.

0:12:54 > 0:12:58- £35 for them all. - OK, I'm thinking about that, but...

0:12:58 > 0:13:02- I think we should put that with our propellers.- OK.

0:13:04 > 0:13:08- Ooh, I love that. - Oh, yes, that's an old one!

0:13:08 > 0:13:11It's a butcher's block. They just came on a stand

0:13:11 > 0:13:15and then people sand them down, wax them and use them in kitchens.

0:13:15 > 0:13:21These hard-wearing cutting blocks should be on legs and were originally used for meat processing.

0:13:21 > 0:13:25Now, of course, they're terribly fashionable in the home.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28How much is your butcher's block? Have you got legs for it?

0:13:28 > 0:13:32No. I did have. I used them for something else, which has now gone.

0:13:32 > 0:13:36- Which is good for you because you can have it cheaper.- How cheap?

0:13:36 > 0:13:38- It's like...- £60?

0:13:38 > 0:13:4025. We're buying a few things -

0:13:40 > 0:13:45- OK, you can have it for 20!- Thanks! - OK, fine. Excellent. Thanks!

0:13:45 > 0:13:48You don't really need me. Why don't I give you the keys and...

0:13:48 > 0:13:52..you can let me know how it all went?

0:13:52 > 0:13:56Thanks, Lewis, but we're doing fine for absent shopkeepers so far today.

0:13:56 > 0:14:02However, it allows us a moment to catch up with Alastair's exciting story.

0:14:02 > 0:14:03He's rocking!

0:14:03 > 0:14:06I know exactly what Phil Serrell would say about this.

0:14:06 > 0:14:09- What would he say?- "It's firewood."

0:14:09 > 0:14:11That's very harsh.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14- I like the legs. - They look like little duck feet!

0:14:14 > 0:14:16There's an awful lot of woodworm.

0:14:16 > 0:14:21But wouldn't a two year old just love to sit and rock in this?

0:14:21 > 0:14:25It's wonderful! I'm loving it more and more!

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- You can have it for ten. - Would we want it for ten?

0:14:28 > 0:14:31- I'm tempted at that price. - That's a steal!

0:14:31 > 0:14:34- Do you think we should go for it? - Yes.- It's a deal.

0:14:34 > 0:14:38Well, Alastair Stewart is today's top story so far.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42Those lightening-fast purchases are starting to stack up.

0:14:42 > 0:14:48In other news, Kirsty Wark is trying to coax Philip out of a rather comfy chair.

0:14:48 > 0:14:51- I've been sat in my thinking chair here.- Yes.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Leave the butcher's block out of the equation.

0:14:53 > 0:14:58I'm thinking about £110 for the propellers and the flowers.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01- That's what I'm thinking. - I think £115.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04As much as that? Lewis, what's the best you can do?

0:15:04 > 0:15:06130.

0:15:06 > 0:15:10- Including the butcher's block? - Did we mention the butcher's block? - No, but I'm about to.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14140, including the butcher's block? It's nothing without the legs.

0:15:14 > 0:15:19- 20 for the butcher's block - - That would make it 150. We genuinely can't afford it.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23I'd like to buy the two propellers and that.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Yes, but I like the butcher's block.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28So for anyone else who's confused,

0:15:28 > 0:15:33Kirsty and Phil are still interested in each other's propellers,

0:15:33 > 0:15:37as well as the book of Edwardian pressed flowers.

0:15:37 > 0:15:41However, the butcher's block is still a definite. Maybe.

0:15:41 > 0:15:42Is that any clearer?

0:15:42 > 0:15:46I'm 100 percent confused here. What we've got is...

0:15:46 > 0:15:50- He's giving you the whole thing... - £150 for the lot?- 150 is good.

0:15:50 > 0:15:51It's a deal.

0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Yes.- Oh, gosh!

0:15:53 > 0:15:56That's a huge purchase to digest,

0:15:56 > 0:16:01so let's find a little light relief back with Alastair and Catherine.

0:16:01 > 0:16:05Can we just ask you about your Edwardian letter stationery box?

0:16:05 > 0:16:11- I have 125 on it.- Mm. - But you can make me an offer.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13You should never say that to me.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16- I've just said it. - I'm very cruel and very mean.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19- Is that the original dividers?- Yes.

0:16:19 > 0:16:24That's quite unusual, because very often these dividers have gone with wear and tear.

0:16:24 > 0:16:29- That...- Is lovely.- Just look at that. - It's a lovely colour.- Rosewood.

0:16:29 > 0:16:33- That has not been hammered by the sun.- Exactly.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36I have a very beautiful box, mahogany box,

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- with a lovely little bit of inlay on it.- Yes.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41And I lost the key! SAD VIOLIN MUSIC

0:16:41 > 0:16:43And it had all of my old passports,

0:16:43 > 0:16:47going back to when I first went abroad for ITN!

0:16:47 > 0:16:49I had to pay the locksmith to come out and do it.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52Great story, Alastair.

0:16:52 > 0:16:57You worry me. I've got this feeling that all of a sudden you'll go, "OK!"

0:16:57 > 0:17:00- No, no.- Like you've done before!

0:17:00 > 0:17:01I could do it at 60.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05I'm going to give you £60 for it and expect her to kick me in the shins.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Excellent.

0:17:07 > 0:17:08Alastair!

0:17:08 > 0:17:10Alastair!

0:17:10 > 0:17:15Straight in. No negotiation. No expert consultation. And outrage.

0:17:15 > 0:17:19I can't believe you've just done that!

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Two, four, six.

0:17:21 > 0:17:25- Can we just negotiate the 50?- No. Because that wasn't going to happen.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29I can't believe you've done that. I can't believe it.

0:17:29 > 0:17:30And on that bombshell,

0:17:30 > 0:17:34this mammoth Edinburgh shopping exercise is finally over.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38We can at last move on to... Oh, hang on a minute.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41That's glass. That's beautiful.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45I like that. Come on.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48Probably 19th century.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52It would've probably held a lobster pot. It's effectively a buoy, isn't it?

0:17:52 > 0:17:57Norway first used these big glass balls from the 1840s.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00But they were soon used all over the world

0:18:00 > 0:18:04to stretch out enormous fishing nets for a big catch.

0:18:04 > 0:18:08It's glass and it's rather lovely now I see it, so...

0:18:08 > 0:18:09Here we go!

0:18:09 > 0:18:13Why couldn't you make that an attractive proposition with the propeller?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16120 on the ticket, but what would you do it for?

0:18:16 > 0:18:17It says 45.

0:18:17 > 0:18:22Oh, it's lovely. Would you do it for 40?

0:18:22 > 0:18:24Oh, no! No. No. No. No.

0:18:24 > 0:18:25- Yes.- Thank you so much!

0:18:25 > 0:18:29This is going horribly wrong. Let me have a look.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31Do you like it?

0:18:31 > 0:18:34- I love it! God, look at it. This is your fault.- I know.

0:18:34 > 0:18:38- I think we can leave all this gunk on there.- It's beautiful. Look.

0:18:38 > 0:18:43It looks like a stamp of ownership. Like two ferns or something.

0:18:43 > 0:18:49- Do you really like this? - I think it's a wonderful thing. I'm excited about it.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51- Philip, pay the man, please. - OK, fine.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55And with this lovely maritime novelty,

0:18:55 > 0:18:58the Edinburgh shopping is finally over?

0:18:58 > 0:19:04- Is that a little bit of silver? - It's Victorian. I think it's about 1880.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08There's a hallmark there, a leopard's head, Victoria's head,

0:19:08 > 0:19:11so we know it's all right. That's really lovely.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14It is pretty, isn't it? I think it's a tenner.

0:19:14 > 0:19:18- Would £10 be all right?- Yes.- Are you sure?- Thank you.- That's really sweet.

0:19:18 > 0:19:22This is our betrothal ring to say that we're bound together!

0:19:22 > 0:19:28That's now lots 1 to 400 in the sale are down to Kirsty and Phil.

0:19:28 > 0:19:33I'm taking you home before you buy anything else. There's a lampstand you haven't seen yet.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36And there's a carpet, a table...

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Sadly, Edinburgh shopping is done

0:19:38 > 0:19:43and it's time to evacuate our news teams from this hotspot.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46- Did you have a good day? - Catherine was absolutely wonderful.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50She was very indulgent of some of my occasional quirkiness.

0:19:50 > 0:19:54What about Alastair? He strikes me as being a real card.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58I thought he was going to really barter and negotiate hard.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00And did he?

0:20:00 > 0:20:04Not in the way I thought he would, to be honest!

0:20:04 > 0:20:07Phil is really good. You just see a look in his eyes

0:20:07 > 0:20:11where he says, but doesn't say, "That's a ridiculous idea."

0:20:11 > 0:20:15- ALASTAIR LAUGHS - Look at that!- Fan-bloody-tastic!

0:20:15 > 0:20:18If shopping was an Olympic sport...

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- She'd have wonderful a gold medal. - Galactic class, she is.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24Good girl. That's what I like to hear.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27The rolling-news road trip rumbles on.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30Leaving this royal throne behind,

0:20:30 > 0:20:35our celebrities lead their expert squires onto the kingdom of Fife,

0:20:35 > 0:20:4038 miles north of Edinburgh to the town of Falkland.

0:20:41 > 0:20:46Hard-shopping Team Wark has decided upon a small indulgence,

0:20:46 > 0:20:49visiting a kind of historical forerunner

0:20:49 > 0:20:52to the great British holiday camp.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54Falkland Palace was a summer haunt

0:20:54 > 0:20:58of one of Kirsty's favourite historical ladies.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02And if you can't quite guess, she's Scottish and called Mary.

0:21:02 > 0:21:07The lands around Falkland, some 4,000 acres,

0:21:07 > 0:21:09have hosted exclusive hunting, falconry

0:21:09 > 0:21:14and outdoor leisure activities for over half a millennia.

0:21:14 > 0:21:18All we need now is lovely local tour guide Pam.

0:21:18 > 0:21:21- ALL: Good morning!- I'm Kirsty. - I'm Philip. How are you?

0:21:21 > 0:21:24- Welcome to Falklands. - BOTH: Thank you.

0:21:24 > 0:21:28This is the gatehouse, finished by James V of Scotland.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32When they came here to entertain and to hunt,

0:21:32 > 0:21:34would they come for six weeks at a time?

0:21:34 > 0:21:37We think something like that. Six weeks to two months.

0:21:37 > 0:21:42Hygiene was the thing that dictated when they left

0:21:42 > 0:21:45and the whole place was then cleared and cleaned.

0:21:45 > 0:21:49- We'd better go and have a look. - I think I'd love to.- Yes.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53First built between 1502 and 1541,

0:21:53 > 0:21:57Falkland Palace has mostly been a holiday home

0:21:57 > 0:21:59for the Scottish monarchs.

0:21:59 > 0:22:02James V transformed the interiors

0:22:02 > 0:22:04in a stunning French Renaissance style,

0:22:04 > 0:22:07and died here in 1542

0:22:07 > 0:22:11after hearing of the birth of his daughter Mary Queen of Scots.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13As Pam's tour begins,

0:22:13 > 0:22:17the first port of call is the most popular game at Falkland,

0:22:17 > 0:22:20the torture of the Englishman.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23JOLLY MUSIC Fantastic.

0:22:23 > 0:22:26You wouldn't think a sweet lady like Pam

0:22:26 > 0:22:30could have quite the sadistic tendencies she's got, would you?

0:22:30 > 0:22:32- HE SHUDDERS - Oh!

0:22:32 > 0:22:36- Kirsty, I don't like this very much. - Ohh!

0:22:36 > 0:22:40- Ohh!- Nothing can happen to you, Phil. Look at this height of this wall.

0:22:40 > 0:22:44Fantastic, Kirsty, fantastic! It's like walking on fresh air.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46- It's solid stone. - I don't care.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49Where are we going? Do you really want me to come up there?

0:22:49 > 0:22:51I'm afraid you have to.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54But the parapet, I'm afraid, isn't quite as good up here.

0:22:54 > 0:22:58- Now we can see for miles and miles. - That's...

0:22:58 > 0:22:59HE SHUDDERS

0:22:59 > 0:23:03- If I stand here - - Don't! Come away from there!

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- No!- Are you going on your own, then? - I'm not!- You're not going anywhere?

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Don't you dare tell anybody about this, Pam!

0:23:10 > 0:23:13Philip, get a grip.

0:23:14 > 0:23:19Sadly, much of Falkland Palace was destroyed by Cromwell's forces during the Civil War

0:23:19 > 0:23:23and fell into disrepair, until bought in 1887

0:23:23 > 0:23:27by John Crichton-Stuart, Third Marquis of Bute.

0:23:27 > 0:23:33Today, the grounds and buildings are maintained in conjunction with the National Trust.

0:23:33 > 0:23:38However, much of the hunting lands are no longer part of the estate.

0:23:38 > 0:23:40This is the palace orchard.

0:23:40 > 0:23:44Beyond that, practically to the foot of the hills in the distance,

0:23:44 > 0:23:46was hunting forest.

0:23:46 > 0:23:50Can we stop down there and look up rather than come up here and look down?

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Fortunately, there's fun to be had,

0:23:53 > 0:23:57and more Philip's kind of fun, down on ground level.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Anyone for slightly peculiar tennis?

0:23:59 > 0:24:02This original real tennis court

0:24:02 > 0:24:06is the oldest surviving useable court in the world,

0:24:06 > 0:24:08built in 1539,

0:24:08 > 0:24:11100 years before its more famous cousin

0:24:11 > 0:24:14in Hampton Court Palace.

0:24:14 > 0:24:18How amazing. I've never been in a real tennis court.

0:24:18 > 0:24:23Today's umpire is Bob, secretary of Falkland's real tennis court.

0:24:23 > 0:24:25- Very nice to meet you.- Hello.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28I can't believe I'm standing on a court that James V played on.

0:24:28 > 0:24:32And Mary Queen of Scots, we believe.

0:24:32 > 0:24:36Well, she was a tall woman. She was probably quite athletic.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Do you love it more than lawn tennis?- Oh, yes!

0:24:39 > 0:24:41Much more interesting.

0:24:41 > 0:24:46And you don't have to be 19 and serve at 150 miles an hour.

0:24:46 > 0:24:47Good news for Phil.

0:24:47 > 0:24:52Real or royal tennis is the forerunner to lawn tennis,

0:24:52 > 0:24:55with some quirky, antiquated game play.

0:24:55 > 0:24:59- The service takes place from this end only.- Right.

0:24:59 > 0:25:01The ball must hit the roof,

0:25:01 > 0:25:05the penthouse roof, on the far side of the net.

0:25:05 > 0:25:08Your serving is always onto the roof?

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Yes. So your forehand is there.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14All four walls are in play here, a bit like squash,

0:25:14 > 0:25:18but at a slower pace for ladies in cumbersome attire.

0:25:18 > 0:25:23It's not just "if" your opponent faults which wins the points,

0:25:23 > 0:25:27but where on the court, hence all the lines.

0:25:27 > 0:25:29- I think we should give this a go. - OK. This is war.

0:25:29 > 0:25:33This is England versus Scotland.

0:25:35 > 0:25:40- A good tip...- Yes? - This bit is always above that bit.

0:25:40 > 0:25:44- A-ha. OK. Right. - Excuse me! Don't I get any coaching?

0:25:44 > 0:25:47Quiet, please! Especially you, Serrell.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50- WIMBLEDON THEME TUNE - Miss Wark to serve.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54- OK.- You just take it steady!

0:26:00 > 0:26:02- Excellent!- Right.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08SHE SQUEALS

0:26:08 > 0:26:11- Yes!- That wasn't very good.

0:26:14 > 0:26:17SHE LAUGHS He's good!

0:26:17 > 0:26:18He is, isn't he?

0:26:18 > 0:26:22That'll please the crowds up on Serrell Summit.

0:26:24 > 0:26:26- SHE LAUGHS - You are good!

0:26:26 > 0:26:32Phil is a complete ringer. He plays squash every single day.

0:26:32 > 0:26:35Didn't Murray say the same about Nadal?

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Sadly, that's all of today's highlights

0:26:38 > 0:26:43and we now say goodbye to the wonderful Jacobean theme park that is Falkland Palace.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47As there are no more shopping minutes to the day,

0:26:47 > 0:26:52this part of Fife's kingdom must provide shelter for the night.

0:26:52 > 0:26:54Sweet dreams.

0:26:55 > 0:26:56Wakey-wakey.

0:26:56 > 0:27:01Bright and early, the road trip calls our drivers to their cars once more.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04I think you are a professional shopper, aren't you?

0:27:04 > 0:27:08No, no. I shop with purpose. I'm like an exocet.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10- You are.- I am.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13BOMBASTIC MUSIC

0:27:16 > 0:27:20So far, Kirsty and Phil have bought seven separate items -

0:27:20 > 0:27:23the Edwardian table, the cock-fighting prints,

0:27:23 > 0:27:26a pair of propellers, the pressed flowers, the butcher's block...

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Phew!

0:27:28 > 0:27:31..the Victorian glass float and the bargain silver napkin ring.

0:27:31 > 0:27:35And Kirsty bought a dress for herself. Honestly!

0:27:35 > 0:27:39Kirsty and Phil have only £90 left to spend.

0:27:39 > 0:27:42Not now. I can't. It's profligate.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45- What does that mean? - I've spent too much.- OK.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48Meanwhile, the opposition has moved fast.

0:27:48 > 0:27:50NEWS-AT-TEN BONGS

0:27:50 > 0:27:55Alastair Stewart spends just £100 on three items.

0:27:55 > 0:27:58Day begins with World War One cartoons.

0:27:58 > 0:28:02Proceeds cautiously with child's rocking chair.

0:28:02 > 0:28:06Then goes mad with impulse stationery box.

0:28:06 > 0:28:09Alastair and Catherine begin a second day's rummaging

0:28:09 > 0:28:11with a healthy £300.

0:28:12 > 0:28:16Alastair, I have to ask you this question.

0:28:16 > 0:28:22What do you talk about at the end of the news when you're shuffling the papers?!

0:28:22 > 0:28:25Sometimes it will be, "Well, we got away with that!"

0:28:25 > 0:28:27if something particularly hairy has happened.

0:28:27 > 0:28:31I'm going to lip-read now. You will feel my presence.

0:28:31 > 0:28:33The searching eyes of Catherine!

0:28:33 > 0:28:38In true maverick style, Alastair and Catherine are going on ahead,

0:28:38 > 0:28:41their delicate feet barely touching the ground,

0:28:41 > 0:28:45whisking the road trip 11 miles north-east from Falkland

0:28:45 > 0:28:48to the wonderful town of Cupar.

0:28:49 > 0:28:52I'm sure I don't need to remind anyone here in Fife

0:28:52 > 0:28:56that time is of the essence on this final day of shopping.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58- So I won't.- Time is against us.

0:28:58 > 0:29:00It really is.

0:29:00 > 0:29:02I quite like these.

0:29:04 > 0:29:07- What do you think? - They definitely suit you.- Do they?

0:29:07 > 0:29:11They're spring-loaded, aren't they? I'll let you in case I break it.

0:29:11 > 0:29:16- What are you looking for for those? - We have £50 on them.

0:29:16 > 0:29:20But Catherine will probably make me a counter offer.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22I will if they work!

0:29:22 > 0:29:25Because I'm watching you fiddle!

0:29:25 > 0:29:27- There we are. - I think they're elegant.

0:29:27 > 0:29:32And I quite like the 1920s style. Quite Deco, isn't it?

0:29:32 > 0:29:35What would that make at auction, though, in Kent?

0:29:35 > 0:29:38I think they would probably make about £60.

0:29:38 > 0:29:41But I wouldn't want to give any more.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44I have to make a profit, at the end of the day.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46That's what drives me.

0:29:54 > 0:29:57- I would want to pay 15.- You would?

0:29:57 > 0:30:00As it's you, I'll accept £15 for them,

0:30:00 > 0:30:03and you have to make a profit.

0:30:03 > 0:30:04You're not convinced, are you?

0:30:04 > 0:30:08I'm convinced on the potential for margin on that,

0:30:08 > 0:30:10but I'm also conscious of where it sits

0:30:10 > 0:30:14in the overall set of lots that we're going to have.

0:30:14 > 0:30:17Alastair, you're very tricky to please.

0:30:17 > 0:30:21Now, you want something that will look good with spectacles...

0:30:21 > 0:30:23Mm.

0:30:23 > 0:30:27They look right through you, don't they?

0:30:28 > 0:30:30- I like the glass eyes, too.- Mm.

0:30:30 > 0:30:33- But there's no market for glass eyes. - There is!

0:30:33 > 0:30:36What is the potential for improvement on glass eyes?

0:30:36 > 0:30:39- £20 each.- Each?!

0:30:39 > 0:30:42We can do better than that. A lot better.

0:30:42 > 0:30:44This conversation may conclude...

0:30:44 > 0:30:49- Mm-hm.- ..a financial transaction, not at one level of activity

0:30:49 > 0:30:53but potentially of four.

0:30:53 > 0:30:58Therefore, your answer to her next question is crucial.

0:30:58 > 0:31:01TENSE QUIZ SHOW-STYLE MUSIC

0:31:03 > 0:31:06And your question is?

0:31:06 > 0:31:09Well, just how much you'd sell them for really?

0:31:09 > 0:31:10Is that it?

0:31:10 > 0:31:14I do not know the man or woman who is going to pay a significant amount

0:31:14 > 0:31:17for these three very strange eyes.

0:31:17 > 0:31:21But you're the expert. You're a scientific instruments expert,

0:31:21 > 0:31:25so you're the nearest out of the three of us to medical stuff.

0:31:25 > 0:31:27- You are putting so much pressure on me!- No.

0:31:27 > 0:31:31- I'm almost trembling!- Why? - Because it's that look!

0:31:31 > 0:31:3425 for the glasses and the eyes. Is that what we're saying?

0:31:34 > 0:31:36- What do you think?- Done.

0:31:38 > 0:31:42- Look, that's how tense I am! - See how laidback I am.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45There's 20.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47And there's a five somewhere in...

0:31:47 > 0:31:51..in that crumpled... crumpled stack of money!

0:31:51 > 0:31:55The eyes have it. But I wish they'd stop staring.

0:31:55 > 0:31:57Oh!

0:31:57 > 0:32:01- That's spooky!- You're telling me.

0:32:01 > 0:32:05Back down the road, your optically-challenged opponents

0:32:05 > 0:32:09are still looking hard at the delights of Falkland.

0:32:09 > 0:32:11Do you think he's on the fiddle?!

0:32:13 > 0:32:18Snappy dresser Bob owns this wonderful emporium of Scottish antiques.

0:32:18 > 0:32:22But can Kirsty find anything with downsize appeal?

0:32:23 > 0:32:26This is actually quite pretty.

0:32:26 > 0:32:30You've got a really good eye. I think that's absolutely beautiful.

0:32:30 > 0:32:33Tell me about Scottish pottery.

0:32:33 > 0:32:38- They were made in Kirkcaldy. - Kirkcaldy.- From Methven.- Medvens?

0:32:38 > 0:32:41M-E-T-H-V-E-N.

0:32:41 > 0:32:46- Look at it. Can we set this aside? We're building up a portfolio. - That's what's worrying me again.

0:32:46 > 0:32:49Scottish pieces don't do so well in England

0:32:49 > 0:32:54and some English pieces don't do so well up here. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.

0:32:54 > 0:32:58Well, let's try and remain positive, shall we?

0:32:58 > 0:33:01- I'm looking at this. - See this illustrated...

0:33:01 > 0:33:05We don't like things that are illustrated. They cost more.

0:33:05 > 0:33:07It's a wee bit collectable.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10- How old is that? - That'll be from about 1890.

0:33:10 > 0:33:14- 1890?- We're in Kirsty's patch now. This is Scottish pottery?

0:33:14 > 0:33:18This is Scottish pottery, but not as I would imagine it.

0:33:18 > 0:33:24This is what I would call like a terracotta farmer's pot.

0:33:24 > 0:33:28Seaton Pottery manufactured in Aberdeen

0:33:28 > 0:33:31for the best part of a century.

0:33:31 > 0:33:37This bespoke piece from 1894 is certainly catching Kirsty's eye.

0:33:38 > 0:33:43- I think it's a thing of beauty. - That's quite primitive. It would look good on a glass table.

0:33:43 > 0:33:47I'm going to ask you two questions. How much is that?

0:33:47 > 0:33:50- £100.- And what's it worth?

0:33:50 > 0:33:53- Probably 400.- Yes...

0:33:53 > 0:33:55- My problem is... - Would it sell in Kent?

0:33:55 > 0:33:59Would you buy a piece of Kentish pottery

0:33:59 > 0:34:01and bring it to Aberdeen to flog?

0:34:01 > 0:34:05- We'd have to hope there was somebody from Aberdeen.- We don't like "hope".

0:34:05 > 0:34:07So much for remaining positive.

0:34:07 > 0:34:10At least Kirsty and Phil are still working.

0:34:10 > 0:34:13I just like that sort of thing!

0:34:13 > 0:34:17I'm not even going to propose it to Catherine. I'll put it away!

0:34:17 > 0:34:20I really like those leather gloves.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23- Who'd buy them?- Nobody. - I'm being brutal.

0:34:23 > 0:34:26- They do have the cute factor. - Aren't they lovely?- Very sweet.

0:34:26 > 0:34:30Cut to the chase, you could buy these for £8.

0:34:30 > 0:34:33- It's the kind of size that a child... - Yes.

0:34:33 > 0:34:39- We could put the gloves on the rocking chair and have it as an item. - Have it as a lot.

0:34:39 > 0:34:42- So that...- Perfect. You're a genius.

0:34:42 > 0:34:45- That makes an item. - I think that would be quite nice.

0:34:45 > 0:34:48- Fiver for the gloves? - That's a good... Oh, no!

0:34:48 > 0:34:51- He said eight.- You're doing it again! - I'm in a hurry.

0:34:51 > 0:34:56Catherine Southon, will you please get a handle on your celebrity?

0:34:56 > 0:34:58- You and your mouth.- I know.

0:34:58 > 0:35:03- Alastair offered five.- I didn't. - Five is way below. - Don't listen to Alastair.

0:35:03 > 0:35:06- She is the boss.- Come on, we've bought a couple of things.

0:35:06 > 0:35:08- £2?- All right.

0:35:08 > 0:35:10- We're done.- We're done!

0:35:11 > 0:35:15- I think that's really good! Strange but good!- Good!

0:35:15 > 0:35:17Strange?

0:35:17 > 0:35:22Everything about this shopping trip is a little peculiar, frankly.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27- Bob's got a secret room. - The little rascal!

0:35:29 > 0:35:31How many violins have you got, Bob?

0:35:31 > 0:35:33There must be close on 100.

0:35:33 > 0:35:37- Do you play the violin?- No, I don't.

0:35:37 > 0:35:41- What do you...?- The flamenco and the guitar.- Give us a tune. I'll try.

0:35:41 > 0:35:43Whose is that handwriting?

0:35:43 > 0:35:46"My dear friend, with love..."

0:35:46 > 0:35:50Rosanne Cash. Johnny Cash's daughter. Friend of mine.

0:35:50 > 0:35:55- Oh!- The Cash family traced their ancestry here to Royal Borough Falkland.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57- Really?- Ahh! Gosh!

0:35:57 > 0:35:59HE PLAYS UPBEAT TUNE

0:36:05 > 0:36:08- Ohh!- I love that.- Thank you! - That's really good, Bob.

0:36:08 > 0:36:10Delightful.

0:36:10 > 0:36:12Now, get a move on.

0:36:12 > 0:36:16Can I have another look at that bowl? What do you think that'd make?

0:36:16 > 0:36:19I think that could make 90 or 100.

0:36:19 > 0:36:24- Where? Here or in Kent? - In Kent. It would more here if it was in an Aberdeen auction.

0:36:24 > 0:36:28I can see that making 30 or 40.

0:36:28 > 0:36:32So we'd lose money. We've got to be realistic. I love it and I love the decoration.

0:36:32 > 0:36:36Would £50 buy that? HE SIGHS

0:36:36 > 0:36:40- Do you want to pull up a chair, Bob? - I think I'm gonnae faint!- OK.

0:36:40 > 0:36:42Aye, £50 would buy it.

0:36:42 > 0:36:43I do want to buy it.

0:36:43 > 0:36:48- But £50...- Yes. - ..and the plate and that's us done.

0:36:48 > 0:36:53- Yes.- The plate's 20. Would you take 15? 65 for both? - Yes. You've caught me on a good day.

0:36:53 > 0:36:57- Bob, I'm going to pay you before she changes her mind.- No.

0:36:57 > 0:37:01I'll be framing this. It'll remind me of the biggest mistake I made in my life!

0:37:01 > 0:37:05Sadly, Bob, you're not alone in that feeling.

0:37:05 > 0:37:07That's what they all say.

0:37:09 > 0:37:13I don't know if we're heading north, south, east or west. Do you?

0:37:13 > 0:37:16Fife is fast running out of kind-hearted dealers

0:37:16 > 0:37:20and the shopping trip is fast running out of road.

0:37:20 > 0:37:25But there's just enough left in the tank to get us another ten miles eastwards,

0:37:25 > 0:37:30beyond Cupar, way out to the coast at St Andrews,

0:37:30 > 0:37:35a place of great beauty, intriguing history and sometimes romance,

0:37:35 > 0:37:37where William first had his head turned

0:37:37 > 0:37:41by Kate's natural high-street style.

0:37:41 > 0:37:45I'm really excited to be here. I've never been to St Andrews.

0:37:45 > 0:37:48This is going to be fantastic.

0:37:48 > 0:37:52Our celebrities have learned much from their trusty antiques experts

0:37:52 > 0:37:55and the road-trip experience.

0:37:55 > 0:37:59Now, gap year behind them, Alastair and Catherine are going back to university.

0:37:59 > 0:38:03- Good morning. Alastair Stewart. How do you do?- Hello. Ian Carradice.

0:38:03 > 0:38:04Welcome to MUSA.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07MUSA is the fascinating historical museum

0:38:07 > 0:38:10of Scotland's oldest university,

0:38:10 > 0:38:15the amazing 600-year-old seat of learning, here at St Andrews.

0:38:15 > 0:38:18The vast collection of over 100,000 artefacts

0:38:18 > 0:38:23has been lovingly curated from departmental archives

0:38:23 > 0:38:25and open to the public since 2008.

0:38:25 > 0:38:30The school was founded officially by the Bishop of St Andrews in 1411,

0:38:30 > 0:38:34but it became a university when authorisation was received from the Pope.

0:38:34 > 0:38:38And the Pope that authorisation was asked from

0:38:38 > 0:38:40is Benedict XIII, Pedro de Luna.

0:38:40 > 0:38:44He was the Antipope, the Great Schism, based at Avignon.

0:38:44 > 0:38:51During a 15th-century blip, two sets of bishops voted in two different men as Pope.

0:38:51 > 0:38:53Pedro de Luna was based in France

0:38:53 > 0:38:56and briefly enjoyed Scotland's full support,

0:38:56 > 0:38:59hence this cast of his skull here.

0:38:59 > 0:39:05Pedro ultimately lost the top job to the other guy, based in the Vatican.

0:39:05 > 0:39:10The first graduates were qualified to teach throughout the Christian world,

0:39:10 > 0:39:15so a church-approved Bull of Foundation was essential.

0:39:15 > 0:39:18When was this officially made a university?

0:39:18 > 0:39:22When this bull foundation was issued in 1413 by Pedro de Luna.

0:39:22 > 0:39:26- 70 years before Bosworth, the end of the War of the Roses?- Yes.

0:39:26 > 0:39:29Two years before Agincourt.

0:39:29 > 0:39:32The Battle of Agincourt was celebrated

0:39:32 > 0:39:36for the prowess of its archers and their famous hand signals.

0:39:36 > 0:39:38As military technology moved on,

0:39:38 > 0:39:41archery became a popular sport for the wealthy and powerful.

0:39:41 > 0:39:46From 1612, a most prestigious student contest

0:39:46 > 0:39:49was staged on the beach at St Andrews.

0:39:49 > 0:39:52The Silver Arrow Competition was an annual competition

0:39:52 > 0:39:56to establish the champion archer of the university amongst the students.

0:39:56 > 0:40:01The prize for the winner was to have a medal made, which would have his coat of arms

0:40:01 > 0:40:04that would be added to the trophy, which was the silver arrow.

0:40:04 > 0:40:08These are the original arrows on which all these medals hung.

0:40:08 > 0:40:12It was a public competition. It was a real town event.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15- The participants were teenage boys. - Yes.

0:40:15 > 0:40:19Because the students would matriculate at the age of 13

0:40:19 > 0:40:21and depart at the age of 17.

0:40:21 > 0:40:25They might've been young, but many were already wealthy and powerful

0:40:25 > 0:40:30and often none-too-shy when fashioning their own archery award.

0:40:30 > 0:40:33We begin with a modest-looking medal at the end there

0:40:33 > 0:40:37from a laird's son in Fife

0:40:37 > 0:40:41- and they progress, getting gradually larger as you go along.- Yes.

0:40:41 > 0:40:43And suddenly, they stop.

0:40:43 > 0:40:46These are solid silver, as well, these last two.

0:40:46 > 0:40:51The university intervened and said, "This is getting out of hand.

0:40:51 > 0:40:54"These boastful boys are wanting to outdo their predecessors

0:40:54 > 0:40:57- by producing a more flamboyant medal."- Bigger and better.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00"And the poorer students can't take part any more."

0:41:00 > 0:41:03So they decided they'd put a weight limit of one ounce.

0:41:03 > 0:41:07The winners were the students who could afford the equipment, the practice,

0:41:07 > 0:41:12and so we're generally looking at the better-off students.

0:41:12 > 0:41:16I'm interested to know what happened to this poor chap. There's a big hole there!

0:41:16 > 0:41:19Did one of his fellow students afterwards say,

0:41:19 > 0:41:22"I think I should've won that medal!"?

0:41:22 > 0:41:27Each year, the winners' medals were all hanging.

0:41:27 > 0:41:30It's not impossible that it could've been hit by a stray arrow.

0:41:30 > 0:41:34Of course, it's always good to know who you're aiming at,

0:41:34 > 0:41:37especially in this here antiques game.

0:41:37 > 0:41:40And with our upcoming contest in mind,

0:41:40 > 0:41:45it's time to reveal the rather considerable amount of items they've all been buying.

0:41:45 > 0:41:50Call your loved ones. It's going to be a long night!

0:41:50 > 0:41:54- Tails. We go first.- OK.

0:41:55 > 0:41:58These are three magazines,

0:41:58 > 0:42:01and they are articles and illustrations

0:42:01 > 0:42:03from the First World War.

0:42:03 > 0:42:08- It's quality illustration.- Oh, yes! - We paid £25 for the three.

0:42:08 > 0:42:11- Anything that you can do... - We can certainly do better.

0:42:11 > 0:42:15Well, pressed flowers are the obvious antidote to war.

0:42:15 > 0:42:20We have bought a number of rather lovely and unusual...

0:42:20 > 0:42:23- And slightly damaged.- Not yet. - LAUGHTER

0:42:23 > 0:42:27The thing that worries me is that it lends itself to the idea of somebody buying the lot

0:42:27 > 0:42:31and then spending quite a bit of money framing them

0:42:31 > 0:42:33and then they would sell.

0:42:33 > 0:42:36Alastair is learning this game fast. What's next?

0:42:36 > 0:42:40- Ha-ha! The walnut...- Cracker.

0:42:40 > 0:42:45What I like about it is that it's perfectly obvious that it's been used.

0:42:45 > 0:42:49And the nut's been in there and that's happened, and I like that.

0:42:49 > 0:42:50Sold.

0:42:50 > 0:42:57- Oh, is it a set of four?- Well done. I've got a set at home, as well.

0:42:57 > 0:43:00PHIL: Would you like four more? The problem with these is,

0:43:00 > 0:43:03they're marked and the artwork's not great.

0:43:03 > 0:43:06I think the artwork's good. You're just making this up.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09Oh, I like that. That's lovely.

0:43:09 > 0:43:11Now for Alastair's stationery box

0:43:11 > 0:43:15which, maybe, could've been a bit cheaper.

0:43:15 > 0:43:17- How old do you think it is? - Edwardian?

0:43:17 > 0:43:21I do think it's Edwardian. I'd put an estimate of 60 to 90 quid.

0:43:21 > 0:43:23If it made 120, it wouldn't surprise me.

0:43:23 > 0:43:25Lovely. Well done.

0:43:25 > 0:43:28Look out. It's Kirsty's propellers next.

0:43:28 > 0:43:33I like that and Kirsty liked this, so we thought we'd buy them both. I think this is a real gamble.

0:43:33 > 0:43:37- It's got to be 100, 150.- No. No.

0:43:37 > 0:43:39- You think that's too high?- Yes.

0:43:39 > 0:43:43Now, let's take a closer look at the potential for profit here.

0:43:43 > 0:43:46- Are these Art Deco? - A night at the opera.

0:43:46 > 0:43:49- PHIL: Can you see? - Yes. They're proper lenses.

0:43:49 > 0:43:53It was when you pointed out the amount of work in them...

0:43:53 > 0:43:56And that's very pretty. That's very Art Deco.

0:43:56 > 0:43:59CATHERINE: I think they're very elegant.

0:43:59 > 0:44:02- Hallmark silver...- Napkin ring.

0:44:02 > 0:44:04- But with it...- ALISTAIR: A napkin?

0:44:04 > 0:44:09..you get a table. Look at the look on Catherine's face!

0:44:09 > 0:44:13ALISTAIR: I like the napkin ring. BOTH: I'm like the table. I don't see the connection.

0:44:13 > 0:44:16- Did we rehearse that?- We didn't!

0:44:16 > 0:44:21We liked the table and we thought we'd got it for a good price. If we get 50, we'll be delighted.

0:44:21 > 0:44:22There's a profit there.

0:44:22 > 0:44:26- OK...- Those are fantastic. - KIRSTY: Those are beautiful.

0:44:26 > 0:44:29I love that!

0:44:29 > 0:44:30Look! The chair.

0:44:30 > 0:44:33I know exactly what you're thinking about!

0:44:33 > 0:44:36- I do!- No, you don't. - KIRSTY: Tell her.- No.

0:44:36 > 0:44:40- They're firewood.- No. Flipping disgusting, perhaps, but...

0:44:40 > 0:44:46It's yummy mummy. They are desperate to buy a duck-shaped rocking chair.

0:44:46 > 0:44:47We have met their every need.

0:44:47 > 0:44:50Let's hope there are yummy mummies at auction!

0:44:50 > 0:44:52Is that lovely? ALASTAIR: I like that.

0:44:52 > 0:44:54This is Scottish pottery.

0:44:54 > 0:44:59The yellow and the black of the birds is fantastic. That's my favourite so far.

0:44:59 > 0:45:04- This complements it ideally... - This is Scottish pottery. - It's a fishing float!

0:45:04 > 0:45:08- It's still got the sand on it. - I might pay 40 or £50.

0:45:08 > 0:45:09You little belter!

0:45:09 > 0:45:13Three glass eyes. Why do people want them?

0:45:13 > 0:45:17- What do they do with them? - PHIL: Why did you buy them? - She told me to.- OK.

0:45:17 > 0:45:20- I didn't tell you to! I merely advised!- Sorry, "advised".

0:45:20 > 0:45:23- They're a good bit of fun. - KIRSTY: What did you pay?

0:45:23 > 0:45:26- 10.- You pinched them! Absolutely pinched them.

0:45:26 > 0:45:28- Aye-aye.- Aye-aye!

0:45:28 > 0:45:33This was made at Seaton Pottery outside Aberdeen.

0:45:33 > 0:45:35- This obviously is very weathered. - CS: It's lovely.

0:45:35 > 0:45:38- It's naive and that's what I like about it.- Primitive.

0:45:38 > 0:45:44But we actually bought it and decided it would go with something we bought yesterday.

0:45:44 > 0:45:47Would you like to stand up?

0:45:48 > 0:45:50It's...

0:45:50 > 0:45:53OK, it's a chopping block. PHIL: It's a butcher's block.

0:45:53 > 0:45:58On legs, those are worth 150, 250.

0:45:58 > 0:46:00We gave a tenner for it.

0:46:00 > 0:46:03- That could sit on that.- Exactly.

0:46:03 > 0:46:04I'll concede that.

0:46:04 > 0:46:09Great. But how would our anchors spin each other's shopping stories?

0:46:09 > 0:46:14- What about the propeller? - I think that will crash from the sky.

0:46:14 > 0:46:17The magazines are fascinating. I wouldn't put them to auction.

0:46:17 > 0:46:20- It's not something I'd buy. - They're a bit macabre.

0:46:20 > 0:46:23What did you make of what Philip said about the box?

0:46:23 > 0:46:27I was really hoping you wouldn't bring that up.

0:46:27 > 0:46:31I don't mind whether they win or we win, as long as it's us.

0:46:31 > 0:46:34With that great generosity of spirit,

0:46:34 > 0:46:40it's time for us to move on towards the ultimate test of antiques prowess.

0:46:40 > 0:46:43- With Kent, you think vegetables. - Big, old houses.- Absolutely.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46And the garden of England, but this is industrial Kent.

0:46:46 > 0:46:50This is ports and ships and breaking yards.

0:46:50 > 0:46:55I went to school with a chap whose father had a ship-broking business

0:46:55 > 0:46:57and I asked if that was like insurance brokerage

0:46:57 > 0:47:00and he said, "No, we break ships!" HE LAUGHS

0:47:00 > 0:47:02Here he goes again.

0:47:03 > 0:47:07Eastern Scotland has done our celebrities proud,

0:47:07 > 0:47:09from handsome Edinburgh,

0:47:09 > 0:47:12through the hidden treasures of Fife.

0:47:12 > 0:47:15Now we take a dramatic leap,

0:47:15 > 0:47:20landing up a whopping - wait for it - 522 miles south,

0:47:20 > 0:47:24here at lovely Sheerness, on the east Kent coast.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27You've changed, I notice!

0:47:27 > 0:47:31I've changed into my dress that I bought for £40.

0:47:31 > 0:47:34Things like your fisherman's ball,

0:47:34 > 0:47:38that should do well here in what is very much maritime Kent.

0:47:38 > 0:47:42Absolutely. And think how many sailors and pirates only had one eye!

0:47:42 > 0:47:45HE LAUGHS

0:47:45 > 0:47:47This is lovely, isn't it?!

0:47:47 > 0:47:49- Very picturesque.- Really beautiful.

0:47:49 > 0:47:52I can't understand why more people don't come here.

0:47:52 > 0:47:55It's finally auction day.

0:47:55 > 0:47:59We want our celebrity teams hungry for the challenge.

0:47:59 > 0:48:04You're looking very elegant and raring to go!

0:48:04 > 0:48:07Partner in crime.

0:48:07 > 0:48:10Shall we propel ourselves? Enough puns already!

0:48:10 > 0:48:14More than enough, thank you.

0:48:14 > 0:48:18Frederick Andrews Ltd opened their doors to auction hopefuls in 2004.

0:48:18 > 0:48:22Resident auctioneer Michael Walkling has taken a very good look

0:48:22 > 0:48:26at Kirsty and Alastair's combo lots for sale.

0:48:26 > 0:48:31The World War memorabilia I think is going to struggle, if I'm honest.

0:48:31 > 0:48:32The glass eyes! Yes!

0:48:32 > 0:48:35An attractive lot. We should find somebody to buy them.

0:48:35 > 0:48:40I've no idea what they'll do with them, but I suspect they'll make £20 to £30.

0:48:40 > 0:48:45A very eclectic mixes of some items, where the napkin ring goes with the table and such like.

0:48:45 > 0:48:47We may struggle with that.

0:48:47 > 0:48:50So abandon all hope, perhaps!

0:48:50 > 0:48:55Kirsty and Alastair started their antiques adventure with £400 each.

0:48:57 > 0:49:01Kirsty side-stepped austerity to go shopping mad,

0:49:01 > 0:49:04spending a wonderful £310 on ten items,

0:49:04 > 0:49:08combined now in six auction lots.

0:49:09 > 0:49:12Alastair was bold and decisive, yet actually spent very little -

0:49:12 > 0:49:16a mere £127 on seven items,

0:49:16 > 0:49:19now also in six auction lots.

0:49:19 > 0:49:21Well done!

0:49:21 > 0:49:27So hold the front page and smoke 'em if you've got 'em. The auction is about to begin.

0:49:27 > 0:49:30This is very cosy, isn't it?

0:49:30 > 0:49:32- Sorry!- No, you're fine!

0:49:32 > 0:49:35First to spoil for a fight

0:49:35 > 0:49:39are Kirsty and Phil's vibrant sporting prints.

0:49:39 > 0:49:42- £25 cost. They will make...? - 50.- Good girl!

0:49:42 > 0:49:44- Alastair?- Fighting cocks up first.

0:49:44 > 0:49:48Shall we say for those £30 for the set of four?

0:49:48 > 0:49:51Nice set of four prints. £30.

0:49:51 > 0:49:5420, then. 20 I've got. Five anywhere now?

0:49:54 > 0:49:5822? 25? 28? 30. £30 bid.

0:49:58 > 0:50:01Selling at 30, then.

0:50:01 > 0:50:04You just made 50 pence.

0:50:04 > 0:50:07- We made £5. - No, we have to pay commission.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10OK, we made 50 pence. I am so disappointed.

0:50:10 > 0:50:14There's plenty of time for disappointment.

0:50:14 > 0:50:16Let's get on with the rest of it first.

0:50:16 > 0:50:21Alastair and Catherine's nursery combo is next.

0:50:21 > 0:50:24I feel you're not feeling sentimental about this?

0:50:24 > 0:50:30No, I think that the chair would do better somewhere else!

0:50:30 > 0:50:32..and a pair of kid gloves.

0:50:32 > 0:50:36- Gloves and chair!- £30 somewhere?

0:50:36 > 0:50:39Easily worth £30. 30 I've got.

0:50:39 > 0:50:4132 bid. 35. 35 bid.

0:50:41 > 0:50:4638? Done at 35!

0:50:46 > 0:50:49Ah, but it's worth much more than that.

0:50:49 > 0:50:54- Be thankful for small mercies. - Be thankful for small gloves!

0:50:54 > 0:50:57Whilst Alastair complains about doubling his money,

0:50:57 > 0:50:59the eyes have it next.

0:50:59 > 0:51:02I think the eyes are going to be a winner.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05There's a lot of people in here with just one eye.

0:51:06 > 0:51:10- Unusual lot. £30 for the three somewhere?- Come on!

0:51:10 > 0:51:13£20, then? Easily worth 20. 20 I've got.

0:51:13 > 0:51:15- 20!- Can I bid on these?

0:51:15 > 0:51:1925? 28? 30?

0:51:19 > 0:51:21£30. 32.

0:51:21 > 0:51:23Selling at 32!

0:51:23 > 0:51:27- Yay!- What did you pay for them? - A tenner.

0:51:28 > 0:51:32Cheer up, Phil. Your unusual but handsome

0:51:32 > 0:51:35table/napkin-ring combo is next.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38Furniture has been going quite well.

0:51:38 > 0:51:42We'll probably put a stop to that.

0:51:42 > 0:51:45I can start on commissions at £20.

0:51:45 > 0:51:48- Ooh, commissions!- 30 here. 35.

0:51:48 > 0:51:5440 here. Five. 50 bid. Five. 55. 60 anywhere?

0:51:54 > 0:51:56There at 55!

0:51:56 > 0:51:59- Well done.- Oh, my God.

0:51:59 > 0:52:02- That's good. - I feel a bit happier now.

0:52:02 > 0:52:06Alastair bought this in Edinburgh, much to Catherine's disdain.

0:52:06 > 0:52:09Can his haste be vindicated today, in Kent?

0:52:09 > 0:52:11A very pretty lot, that one.

0:52:11 > 0:52:1465, I'm bid. 70 anywhere? Disappointing price, though.

0:52:14 > 0:52:1665 with me.

0:52:16 > 0:52:2070 in the room. Five here. 80? Five here. 90?

0:52:20 > 0:52:2285 in. 90 where?

0:52:22 > 0:52:26Here at 85. Are you all done at 85?

0:52:26 > 0:52:27Robbery with violence!

0:52:27 > 0:52:31With Alastair complains about another decent profit,

0:52:31 > 0:52:36perhaps Kirsty and Phil's pretty pressed flowers can quell his rage.

0:52:36 > 0:52:41I can feel the Edwardian flowers tanking!

0:52:41 > 0:52:43What shall we say? £30 for those?

0:52:43 > 0:52:4920, then? Easily £20, surely? £10?

0:52:49 > 0:52:5110 I have. 12 anywhere?

0:52:51 > 0:52:5412 I have. 15? £12 bid.

0:52:54 > 0:52:5715 where? There at 12, then.

0:52:57 > 0:53:02I don't think Kent is ready for pressed flowers yet.

0:53:02 > 0:53:04But they've got lots of marshes.

0:53:04 > 0:53:09Ouch! I think we all expected that delightful collection to do better.

0:53:09 > 0:53:13Rough justice in Kent today.

0:53:13 > 0:53:15We don't get bogged down in a sad lot.

0:53:15 > 0:53:18Your butchers block and dairy bowl

0:53:18 > 0:53:21offer a chance to claw back some money.

0:53:21 > 0:53:25- You're fairly relaxed about it all, aren't you?- No! Not in the slightest!

0:53:25 > 0:53:28How can you say that? She's sitting on the edge of her seat!

0:53:28 > 0:53:33Start me somewhere round about £100. Start me at 80, then.

0:53:33 > 0:53:3680 anywhere? Easily worth that, I would've that.

0:53:36 > 0:53:38- 50 I've got. 55 anywhere?- Come on.

0:53:38 > 0:53:4355. 60. Five. 70. 75. 80.

0:53:43 > 0:53:4785. 90. 95. 100.

0:53:47 > 0:53:49- And five. 110. - It's beautiful.

0:53:49 > 0:53:53Here at 105. Are you all done at 105?

0:53:53 > 0:53:56- Good.- That's all right.

0:53:56 > 0:53:59Much better for Team Wark there.

0:53:59 > 0:54:04Next up, we've got... Has anybody seen the...?

0:54:04 > 0:54:06They've got to find them first.

0:54:06 > 0:54:11- They were in the cabinet.- Because they're very valuable! That's why!

0:54:11 > 0:54:13Ahh, here you go.

0:54:13 > 0:54:16There we are there. Nice pair, there.

0:54:16 > 0:54:18What are they worth? £40.

0:54:18 > 0:54:2030 anywhere?

0:54:20 > 0:54:22- Come on!- 25, I'll take.

0:54:22 > 0:54:2625 bid. 28 anywhere? 28 bid.

0:54:26 > 0:54:2930, sir? 30 bid. 32. £32 bid.

0:54:29 > 0:54:3235 anywhere? 32, then.

0:54:32 > 0:54:35Excellent. I'm sure that double-money profit

0:54:35 > 0:54:39will lift Alastair and Catherine's spirits. Finally!

0:54:39 > 0:54:41Ahh...

0:54:41 > 0:54:46I'm really disappointed with those. I thought they might make more. I thought they'd go about 50.

0:54:47 > 0:54:51Well, let's keep Kirsty and Phil buoyant at least.

0:54:51 > 0:54:56The next one, rather unusual lot. It's the oversized fishing float

0:54:56 > 0:54:59and the Scottish Spongeware plate.

0:54:59 > 0:55:00Start me at 40.

0:55:00 > 0:55:0340 anywhere?

0:55:03 > 0:55:06£30, start me. Anybody at £30?

0:55:06 > 0:55:08- I can't believe that.- 20, I have.

0:55:08 > 0:55:1020, I have. 25 anywhere now?

0:55:10 > 0:55:1230 bid. 35, sir?

0:55:12 > 0:55:14At 30..

0:55:14 > 0:55:17Gutted. Gutted, gutted, gutted.

0:55:17 > 0:55:20I'm really, really upset by that.

0:55:20 > 0:55:21Gutted.

0:55:21 > 0:55:25Honestly, what can we do to cheer this room up?

0:55:25 > 0:55:28How about some First World War cartoons?

0:55:28 > 0:55:33- Just waiting to be cut out and framed, to be honest.- Yes!

0:55:33 > 0:55:36Probably about one pound each for the plates. £30 for the lot.

0:55:36 > 0:55:38- Come on!- £20 somewhere.

0:55:38 > 0:55:43- 15 I have. 18? 18. 20. - That's what we paid.- 22?

0:55:43 > 0:55:4620, I'm bid. Two anywhere? At 20...

0:55:46 > 0:55:49- Oh, Alastair! - Are you going to buy those back?

0:55:49 > 0:55:53- I can't believe that. - It's a cruel world.

0:55:53 > 0:55:55It is a cruel world.

0:55:55 > 0:55:59Oh, dear. Well, let's give Alastair and Catherine

0:55:59 > 0:56:02one last crack at success, shall we?

0:56:02 > 0:56:05I can't bear the tension! Pressure.

0:56:05 > 0:56:09You could turn it over and have it as a gavel, any budding auctioneers!

0:56:09 > 0:56:12£10 for this one. Who wants that for a tenner?

0:56:12 > 0:56:16- Keep going.- Lady at 10. 12 anywhere? 12 here. 15 where?

0:56:16 > 0:56:18- £12 here. 15 where?- Come on!

0:56:18 > 0:56:21- There at £12. - This is our last thing!

0:56:21 > 0:56:24- You made a profit. - PHIL: How much was it?

0:56:24 > 0:56:27- £7 profit, less VAT and... - Commission.- Commission.

0:56:27 > 0:56:29- Declarations of war... - Christmas presents...

0:56:29 > 0:56:34PHIL: You've doubled your money. Poor old you!

0:56:34 > 0:56:38Last, for a sky-high ending, Kirsty and Phil's fine propellers.

0:56:38 > 0:56:41I think the propellers are going to go big style.

0:56:41 > 0:56:45- I've got a feeling.- Which way? - Up the way.- You think so?

0:56:45 > 0:56:49Absolutely. There's the kind of people in here that like propellers!

0:56:49 > 0:56:53£100 for the two somewhere? Easily worth that, I would've thought.

0:56:53 > 0:56:5650's all I'm bid. Five anywhere now? 50 I'm bid for the two.

0:56:56 > 0:57:00- 55 anywhere?- Shall I start the car? - Cheap lot. No real interest.

0:57:00 > 0:57:04Here at £50. 50...

0:57:04 > 0:57:06I think there's only one thing to do,

0:57:06 > 0:57:11which is be grown up about it and go and sulk somewhere.

0:57:11 > 0:57:14Difficult to know what to say, isn't it?

0:57:14 > 0:57:18Our celebrities began with £400 each.

0:57:18 > 0:57:21After auction costs were removed,

0:57:21 > 0:57:26Kirsty and Phil's sad loss turned into a devastating £78.76.

0:57:26 > 0:57:32Kirsty and Phil end their trip with just £321.24.

0:57:34 > 0:57:36Despite disappointment,

0:57:36 > 0:57:41Alastair and Catherine made a flourishing profit of £50.12,

0:57:41 > 0:57:46finishing their road trip with, yep, £450.12!

0:57:48 > 0:57:53All the money our celebrities and experts make will go to Children In Need.

0:57:53 > 0:57:56So well done, everyone, especially today's victors,

0:57:56 > 0:57:59Alastair Stewart and Catherine Southon.

0:58:02 > 0:58:05- KIRSTY GROANS - Crash and burn.

0:58:05 > 0:58:07- Well done.- Oh! - HE LAUGHS

0:58:07 > 0:58:11I am gutted. They had so many bargains in there from us.

0:58:11 > 0:58:16I was going to say "Back to the day job" but worryingly, that's what I do!

0:58:16 > 0:58:18It's too late for regrets, Philip!

0:58:18 > 0:58:22- I think it's time to start the car. - No. Come on!

0:58:22 > 0:58:24- No, I'm sorry. - We'll go and have a drink.

0:58:24 > 0:58:26That's my girl!

0:58:26 > 0:58:31- Toot-toot! - She may have lot the action...- Bye! - ..but she's won the driving seat.

0:58:31 > 0:58:35It's shotgun for Alastair and road ahead for everyone.

0:58:35 > 0:58:38Farewell.

0:58:39 > 0:58:43Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:43 > 0:58:47E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk