Episode 7

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1:00:50 > 1:00:57.

1:01:02 > 1:01:07'The nation's favourite celebrities, one antiques expert each...

1:01:07 > 1:01:10Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

1:01:11 > 1:01:14'..and one big challenge -

1:01:14 > 1:01:18'who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?'

1:01:18 > 1:01:21Have you got a part in panto yet?

1:01:22 > 1:01:28'An auction for a big profit further down the road.

1:01:28 > 1:01:31'Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

1:01:31 > 1:01:37'And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

1:01:37 > 1:01:40'Time to put your pedal to the metal.

1:01:40 > 1:01:44'This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, yeah!'

1:01:50 > 1:01:53'Joining us on the Celebrity Road Trip tonight

1:01:53 > 1:02:01'are two legends of the sporting world, currently hurtling through East Sussex in a 1961 Ford Zephyr.'

1:02:01 > 1:02:05- Has it got an electric button to put the roof up? - Yes!

1:02:05 > 1:02:08It's called me, is it?

1:02:08 > 1:02:13'Allow me to introduce a man some call the bad boy of English cricket.

1:02:13 > 1:02:17'He's spin-bowling god, Phil Tufnell -

1:02:17 > 1:02:19'Tuffers, to his friends.

1:02:19 > 1:02:23'Phil's gone on to dominate the airwaves.

1:02:23 > 1:02:28'Everything from being a team captain on A Question Of Sport...'

1:02:28 > 1:02:32Have I heard of Johnny Moustache? That can't be right!

1:02:32 > 1:02:36'..to donning sequins, sparkles and spray tan

1:02:36 > 1:02:39'in order to go Strictly Come Dancing.

1:02:43 > 1:02:47'Phil's opponent on this leg is sports presenter Chris Hollins.'

1:02:47 > 1:02:50- Do you know about antiques? - I'm not bad.

1:02:50 > 1:02:53- I know what doesn't work. - What doesn't work?

1:02:53 > 1:02:59- Massive bits of furniture.- Brown furniture.- It can be any colour!

1:02:59 > 1:03:01'Chris comes from a footballing family.

1:03:01 > 1:03:04'After playing for Queen's Park Rangers,

1:03:04 > 1:03:07'he opted for a career on the telly.

1:03:07 > 1:03:10'As well as being on BBC Breakfast,

1:03:10 > 1:03:14'he's also gone head-to-head with Tuffers on Strictly.

1:03:14 > 1:03:16'On that occasion,

1:03:16 > 1:03:19'Chris was ultimately crowned the winner.

1:03:19 > 1:03:22'Today, it's time for the rematch.

1:03:22 > 1:03:25'We've given them £400 each and two days

1:03:25 > 1:03:27'to turn as much profit as possible.

1:03:27 > 1:03:31'Fear not, our experts will be showing them the ropes.

1:03:32 > 1:03:36'Welcome aboard, Phil Serrell and Thomas Plant,

1:03:36 > 1:03:40'who love this 1967 Triumph Vitesse.'

1:03:40 > 1:03:44Tom, it might now be time to put the windscreen wipers on.

1:03:44 > 1:03:48- Or are they on? - I don't know where they are!

1:03:48 > 1:03:50No. That's the indicator.

1:03:50 > 1:03:52I don't know what this is.

1:03:52 > 1:03:56- That's the ejector seat. Don't press that.- OK.

1:03:59 > 1:04:03'Philip Serrell started his working life as a geography and PE teacher,

1:04:03 > 1:04:07'and freely admits his skills were even worse than his jokes.

1:04:07 > 1:04:10'Thus, the move into antiques.'

1:04:10 > 1:04:14- It's a glorious summer's day. - Oh! We're so lucky!

1:04:14 > 1:04:18It could be REALLY raining, as opposed to JUST raining.

1:04:18 > 1:04:20Being a Plant, I love the rain.

1:04:20 > 1:04:24'Ha! Thomas Plant is a fount of all knowledge,

1:04:24 > 1:04:28'but did you know he's also a lifelong fan of James Bond?

1:04:28 > 1:04:32'Which is reflected in his hobbies - skiing, fencing

1:04:32 > 1:04:37'and carrying out secret missions for the government.

1:04:37 > 1:04:39'We made the last bit up,

1:04:39 > 1:04:43'although it IS time to get today's mission under way.

1:04:43 > 1:04:47'We're kicking off this road trip on Britain's southeast coast.

1:04:47 > 1:04:52'After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, we're going to auction in Chiswick.

1:04:52 > 1:04:56'Oh, no! First stop, the historic town of Hastings,

1:04:56 > 1:05:01'which is, of course, synonymous with the year 1066 and all that.

1:05:01 > 1:05:05'Although, truth be told, the Battle of Hastings

1:05:05 > 1:05:10'actually happened six miles down the road at Senlac Hill.

1:05:10 > 1:05:13'Though it was here the Normans set up camp

1:05:13 > 1:05:18'for what would be the last invasion of the British Isles to succeed.

1:05:18 > 1:05:23'Since then, the invaders have mainly been tourists.'

1:05:23 > 1:05:27- I'm looking forward to this. I love the seaside.- Do you?- Yeah.

1:05:27 > 1:05:32- Will you buy me a stick of rock? - Really?- Yeah.- Eugh. I hate rock.

1:05:32 > 1:05:36'Hang on, Thomas. The worst is yet to come.

1:05:36 > 1:05:39'Philip also likes romantic walks along the beach.'

1:05:39 > 1:05:44- Is that David Hasselhoff?- It is. - That means Pamela Anderson's here.

1:05:44 > 1:05:47'Settle down, boys. Maybe in series two.

1:05:47 > 1:05:51'Right now, it's up to you to mentor Tuffers and Chris Hollins

1:05:51 > 1:05:54'on how best to spend their £400.

1:05:54 > 1:05:56'Who's going to be with whom?'

1:05:56 > 1:05:59Nice to see you. How are you, mate?

1:05:59 > 1:06:03- We need to be educated! - You've got the wrong blokes!

1:06:03 > 1:06:05Really got the wrong blokes.

1:06:05 > 1:06:09- We need to make money. - Might have the right blokes there.

1:06:09 > 1:06:11Who's going with who?

1:06:11 > 1:06:14- I'm a bit of a cricket fan.- Phil.

1:06:14 > 1:06:16You've picked the right man!

1:06:16 > 1:06:20- And why are we together? - THOMAS: You're a dancer.

1:06:20 > 1:06:23- Yes.- My old man's a dancer, a tango man.

1:06:23 > 1:06:27- He's not a bad dancer, either! - Leave me out of this.

1:06:27 > 1:06:30- See ya later.- Bye.

1:06:30 > 1:06:32'Now that's sorted,

1:06:32 > 1:06:35'let's get this party started.'

1:06:37 > 1:06:40LAUGHTER

1:06:40 > 1:06:44How are you at dealing, doing a deal? Are you hard?

1:06:44 > 1:06:48- Do you want me to play good cop or bad cop?- It's up to you.

1:06:48 > 1:06:52- I'll try and get nasty. - Really? You want to play bad cop?

1:06:52 > 1:06:55"No. Sorry. NO!"

1:06:56 > 1:07:00'As for the two Phils, they're not mucking about, either.

1:07:00 > 1:07:04'They have £400 and are determined to spend it.'

1:07:04 > 1:07:06- I like that.- That's nice.

1:07:08 > 1:07:10'Well, that was fast.'

1:07:10 > 1:07:15- The little trolley in the front, how much is that? - That is 350. >

1:07:15 > 1:07:18350? Do you know what it is?

1:07:18 > 1:07:21- Some sort of porter's wagon. - A nut trolley.

1:07:21 > 1:07:24'Truly, it is. It's from an American nut factory.

1:07:24 > 1:07:29'David says he sells one a week as they make a nice coffee table.'

1:07:29 > 1:07:32You can't do a lot better than that?

1:07:32 > 1:07:35We're poor. He's from Surrey. I'm from Worcestershire.

1:07:35 > 1:07:40When you walked in, I felt sorry for you. You can have it for 300.

1:07:40 > 1:07:43- It is a bit barmy. I like the barmy stuff.- I do.

1:07:43 > 1:07:47'Me too. Though at £300, it's a bit of a gamble.'

1:07:47 > 1:07:52Are you going to shoot me? At auction, it'll make 150, 250?

1:07:52 > 1:07:56- Well, we've sent one to auction. - Where'd it go?- 450.- Really?- Yeah.

1:07:56 > 1:07:58- Where'd it go?- Battle.

1:07:58 > 1:08:02- But you see, we're not going there. - I can't help that, though, can I?

1:08:02 > 1:08:05'Uh-oh. They're tough in Hastings.

1:08:05 > 1:08:10'Time for Phil to pull something out of his negotiating bag of tricks.'

1:08:10 > 1:08:15- Shame you're not into jewellery. > - We might have a look in a minute.

1:08:15 > 1:08:20What was the v... If we could do that for one and a half?

1:08:20 > 1:08:24- How much cash have we got? - Turn round a minute.

1:08:24 > 1:08:28- We've got to buy two or three. - Hold on a minute.

1:08:28 > 1:08:31- 40 quid, we've got.- 40 quid.

1:08:31 > 1:08:35- Jewellery's where you've got to go. > - Not trolleys?

1:08:35 > 1:08:39I can get four and a half at auction for them. Have a look here. >

1:08:39 > 1:08:41We want the trolley.

1:08:41 > 1:08:45'Thomas and Chris have just arrived at Coach House Antiques.'

1:08:45 > 1:08:50- Uniform. I like a...- You like a uniform do you?- Not in that way!

1:08:50 > 1:08:51'Naughty.'

1:08:51 > 1:08:54- Hello.- Ah, hello. - I'm Thomas.- I'm Richard.

1:08:54 > 1:08:57- I'm Chris.- Hello, Chris.

1:08:57 > 1:08:59- Can we look round? - You're very welcome.

1:09:01 > 1:09:04'So, as bad cop and, um...good cop...'

1:09:04 > 1:09:07Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

1:09:07 > 1:09:09'..investigate the merchandise,

1:09:09 > 1:09:15'they find themselves strangely drawn to this offender.'

1:09:15 > 1:09:18- You've got to shake his hand but squeeze it.- Right.

1:09:20 > 1:09:22Jealous!

1:09:22 > 1:09:24'OK, then. Thomas's turn.'

1:09:24 > 1:09:26Go for it.

1:09:26 > 1:09:29- It's quite a tough handshake.- It is.

1:09:29 > 1:09:31Cold fish! LAUGHS

1:09:31 > 1:09:35'Nonsense, Thomas. I would have said you're at least tepid.

1:09:35 > 1:09:39'But let's talk about the two Phils,

1:09:39 > 1:09:44'who are having a hard time walking away from that £300 nut trolley.'

1:09:44 > 1:09:48- I could see that in some swanky... - Yeah.

1:09:48 > 1:09:52Couple of glasses of champagne on it, a few Vogue magazines.

1:09:52 > 1:09:55I agree with you wholeheartedly,

1:09:55 > 1:10:00but you've got to look at this in a saleroom, on the floor,

1:10:00 > 1:10:02underneath a trestle table.

1:10:02 > 1:10:05Could you see that taking off?

1:10:05 > 1:10:08A couple of people really wanting it?

1:10:08 > 1:10:11If a few people really fancy that as a coffee table,

1:10:11 > 1:10:14you can see it making 400, 420, can't you?

1:10:14 > 1:10:19But the issue is, if they're not there, that's 120 quid.

1:10:19 > 1:10:21'So, the moral of this story -

1:10:21 > 1:10:25'forget the trolley and look for something else.'

1:10:25 > 1:10:27We're going to make you an offer.

1:10:27 > 1:10:32- £200. Can we buy it off you for 200 quid?- I cannot do it?

1:10:34 > 1:10:37That is my bottom line. >

1:10:37 > 1:10:41- Do you like it? - I do like it.

1:10:41 > 1:10:43Well, look...

1:10:43 > 1:10:46- 220.- That's me going off on one. 220.

1:10:46 > 1:10:48220. No. Can't do it.

1:10:48 > 1:10:51I'll tell you what I will do.

1:10:51 > 1:10:54That's it. No less.

1:10:54 > 1:10:57What are we at? There's 230 there.

1:10:57 > 1:11:00- Come on. Tuffers, come on. - I can't do it.

1:11:00 > 1:11:02Come on.

1:11:02 > 1:11:07- We'd love you for ever.- You wouldn't. You'll forget about me.

1:11:07 > 1:11:10- We won't. - This is ingrained in our memory.

1:11:10 > 1:11:12- Who wants the sweaty hand? - He can.

1:11:12 > 1:11:15'Thank goodness for that!

1:11:15 > 1:11:22'Trust those two to make a big production of it all and flimflam.

1:11:26 > 1:11:30'Thomas and Chris, on the other hand, are thinking military theme.'

1:11:30 > 1:11:33These are First World War death plaques,

1:11:33 > 1:11:35or the death penny.

1:11:35 > 1:11:39These are awarded to the family, actually.

1:11:39 > 1:11:42The soldier got his medals.

1:11:42 > 1:11:47These were sent with the medals to the next of kin.

1:11:47 > 1:11:49"He died for freedom and honour."

1:11:49 > 1:11:54The really valuable ones are when they say "she" instead of "he".

1:11:54 > 1:11:57- Cos nurses died as well.- Sure.

1:11:57 > 1:12:01The interest in the First World War has gone stratospheric.

1:12:01 > 1:12:05It's only going to carry on going stratospheric,

1:12:05 > 1:12:09I'd say, for the next good six, eight years, definitely.

1:12:09 > 1:12:13And beyond, because we're coming up to the 100 year anniversary.

1:12:13 > 1:12:17'World War I was also the last campaign

1:12:17 > 1:12:20'when memorial plaques such as these were inscribed

1:12:20 > 1:12:22'with the recipient's name.

1:12:22 > 1:12:27'And with all this choice, with detailed research on each soldier,

1:12:27 > 1:12:30'the boys have a hard decision to make.'

1:12:30 > 1:12:34This guy is called Fred Hagger, in the Cheshire Regiment,

1:12:34 > 1:12:37died Flanders, 29th March 1917.

1:12:37 > 1:12:40- Have we got his age?- Yes. 35.- 35.

1:12:40 > 1:12:43- He's married. - A year younger than me.

1:12:43 > 1:12:45He's a carpenter.

1:12:45 > 1:12:48He had three children. Dear, oh, dear.

1:12:48 > 1:12:52From Hertfordshire, and says Flanders.

1:12:52 > 1:12:581917, Flanders - Ypres, Battle of Passchendaele. Pretty hard core.

1:12:58 > 1:13:02- I feel as if I know him now.- To have all that, I think is quite nice.

1:13:02 > 1:13:07- Do you want to go for that?- I would like to go for that.- I think so.

1:13:07 > 1:13:10It's sombre, but worth a punt.

1:13:10 > 1:13:15'There's no doubting these plaques are highly collectable,

1:13:15 > 1:13:18'so it comes down to price which, on the ticket,

1:13:18 > 1:13:20'is at least £75.'

1:13:20 > 1:13:24There is always potential profit in these,

1:13:24 > 1:13:28but it all depends on what you can do movement-wise.

1:13:28 > 1:13:32- Well, I've seen them sell for £100. - Yeah, so have I.

1:13:32 > 1:13:35Obviously, I'm looking for a really good deal.

1:13:35 > 1:13:39- LAUGHS - £60 is the best.

1:13:39 > 1:13:41- Really?- Yes.- 50?- No.

1:13:41 > 1:13:44- Go on!- No!- Halfway.- No. 65, then.

1:13:44 > 1:13:48No, don't be like that! Don't be like that!

1:13:48 > 1:13:51- 55, then. That's the death. - Is that the death?

1:13:51 > 1:13:56- That is the death on the death plate.- I've been to Wimbledon.

1:13:56 > 1:14:01I've watched tennis and I've been back and forth, watching that.

1:14:01 > 1:14:04That was like watching the final. My neck's gone.

1:14:04 > 1:14:07I actually, really, really like those.

1:14:07 > 1:14:11There's a story behind it. I love a bit of history.

1:14:11 > 1:14:14I've been to quite a few auction houses

1:14:14 > 1:14:17and I've never seen one - makes me excited.

1:14:19 > 1:14:21'Having bought all of one item,

1:14:21 > 1:14:24'the Phils are taking a break and heading east.

1:14:24 > 1:14:27'The next stop is the town of Hove,

1:14:27 > 1:14:31'often described by visitors as Brighton,

1:14:31 > 1:14:35'which is followed with the locals' catchphrase,

1:14:35 > 1:14:37'"Hove, actually."

1:14:37 > 1:14:42'Not only is England's southeast coast the birthplace of cricket,

1:14:42 > 1:14:47'in Hove, you'll also find world renowned cricket bat makers Newbery,

1:14:47 > 1:14:49'where the bats are still finished by hand.

1:14:49 > 1:14:52'Naturally, these two can't resist a visit.'

1:14:52 > 1:14:55I'm really, really looking forward to this.

1:14:55 > 1:14:58'While cricket dates back

1:14:58 > 1:15:02'to at least the year 1300, this story begins with John Newbery,

1:15:02 > 1:15:06'who learned from his father, Len, how to make the perfect cricket bat,

1:15:06 > 1:15:11'then passed those skills on to Tim Keeley, who now runs the show.'

1:15:11 > 1:15:15- Hello, mate. - Hello, Phil. Nice to see you.

1:15:15 > 1:15:19- I'm not arguing with you! - This is for testing the bats.

1:15:19 > 1:15:22- Come in and have a look, boys. - I will.

1:15:22 > 1:15:25'Not only is Tim the master bat-maker,

1:15:25 > 1:15:30'he's personally made an incredible half a million bats! Must be batty!'

1:15:30 > 1:15:33I used to be a really bad cricketer.

1:15:33 > 1:15:35- Same here!- No, bad batter!

1:15:35 > 1:15:39I was told that the test or the gauge of a good bat

1:15:39 > 1:15:42is you count the number of grains in the face.

1:15:42 > 1:15:46Generally, if cricket bats have got nice tight grains,

1:15:46 > 1:15:51they perform a lot better - that's what this hammer's for in my pocket.

1:15:51 > 1:15:55If you pick up a cricket bat and listen to the sound of it.

1:15:55 > 1:15:58THUDS That's a good sound.

1:15:58 > 1:16:00Beautiful sound. Mellow.

1:16:00 > 1:16:04Listen to this one. Little higher pitched.

1:16:04 > 1:16:07The other one would be a better bat.

1:16:07 > 1:16:12'As for the most important question, how is a cricket bat made?

1:16:12 > 1:16:14'Well, allow me.

1:16:14 > 1:16:16'First step, saw down a willow tree.

1:16:16 > 1:16:21'Then, place in the drying kiln and wait 12 weeks.'

1:16:21 > 1:16:25CLOCK TICKS AND ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYS

1:16:25 > 1:16:28'Once the willow is dry,

1:16:28 > 1:16:30'it needs to be shaped.'

1:16:30 > 1:16:33I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

1:16:33 > 1:16:36'Speaking of which, up until the 18th century,

1:16:36 > 1:16:40'a cricket bat used to be shaped like a hockey stick.

1:16:40 > 1:16:44'I'm a mine of information! I can read.'

1:16:46 > 1:16:50- Beautiful. Look at the grain on this!- That's a good stick.

1:16:50 > 1:16:52These are both beautiful sticks.

1:16:52 > 1:16:56'Next, it's compressed, to make the timber tougher.'

1:16:56 > 1:16:59- This machine is squashing the fibres down.- Yeah.

1:16:59 > 1:17:04- This gives it its performance. - Afterwards, what happens next?

1:17:04 > 1:17:06'Well, Philip, then it's time for the handle,

1:17:06 > 1:17:10'which is a combination of Manila cane and rubber,

1:17:10 > 1:17:12'making it utterly flexible.

1:17:12 > 1:17:17'Then it's spliced together, requiring animal glue and a hammer.'

1:17:17 > 1:17:19There you go, Phil.

1:17:19 > 1:17:21- Look at that.- Ready to go.

1:17:21 > 1:17:25A little tacky. It'll be ready tomorrow for bat-making.

1:17:25 > 1:17:29- That's where the proper work starts. - When the hand-making comes in, yeah.

1:17:29 > 1:17:34'That's because the key to a modern cricket bat is weight distribution,

1:17:34 > 1:17:38'something John Newbery helped pioneer in the 1970s.'

1:17:40 > 1:17:43- Look at that!- Not sure what sort of shape you want, lads.

1:17:43 > 1:17:46If I emphasise the shape on this bat

1:17:46 > 1:17:50to take some of the weight out of the toe, so the bat picks up better.

1:17:50 > 1:17:52That's how we do that.

1:17:52 > 1:17:54- Would you like a go, Phil?- Love to.

1:17:54 > 1:17:58Take some weight out. Mind those edges.

1:17:58 > 1:18:02I used to be a silversmith. I like working with my hands.

1:18:02 > 1:18:06- Little bit down the middle? - Take a little bit out the middle.

1:18:06 > 1:18:12'And if you thought it looked easy, Tuffers clearly demonstrates...

1:18:12 > 1:18:14'..that it isn't.'

1:18:14 > 1:18:19It's one of those fantastic English skills, like coracle making.

1:18:19 > 1:18:25- This would take some years to learn, the process of cricket bat making. - Who follows you?

1:18:25 > 1:18:29Phil's going well. I've got my eye on him. He can come back any time.

1:18:29 > 1:18:33- You need to keep your eye on him. - I'm done there. Not a bad job.

1:18:33 > 1:18:37We could have done with a little bit lighter but this will suit somebody.

1:18:37 > 1:18:41- We'll leave it like that.- There's someone with their name on it.

1:18:41 > 1:18:44'Perhaps someone with a wood burner.

1:18:44 > 1:18:49'Back in Hastings, Thomas and Chris have done the deal,

1:18:49 > 1:18:52'but haven't decided which memorial plaque to buy.

1:18:52 > 1:18:55'Now they're going off on a tangent. Uh-oh.'

1:18:55 > 1:18:58That's a Christmas box from the First World War,

1:18:58 > 1:19:01given by Princess Mary to the troops.

1:19:01 > 1:19:05These are the sort of things I absolutely love.

1:19:05 > 1:19:10Not in a morbid way. This is a box that every single soldier would get?

1:19:10 > 1:19:14Every single soldier got, Christmas 1914.

1:19:14 > 1:19:19- In here, you'd have a pouch of rolling tobacco.- Yeah.

1:19:19 > 1:19:21A pouch of cigarettes, fags.

1:19:21 > 1:19:25Some of them had a pencil in there, which was a 303 round.

1:19:25 > 1:19:30You take off the shell and it's got a pencil in.

1:19:30 > 1:19:33And a card from Princess Mary.

1:19:33 > 1:19:35'There was another item - chocolate.

1:19:35 > 1:19:40'If you ask me, the Christmas tin is well worth considering.'

1:19:40 > 1:19:42- That's extraordinary.- It is.

1:19:42 > 1:19:46It's a nice thing to add with it, if you want to add it on to the lot.

1:19:46 > 1:19:52'Good idea, but there's still debate over which one to buy.'

1:19:52 > 1:19:55Chris is quite keen on this one here.

1:19:55 > 1:20:00This is Lance Corporal James Patterson Tinning from Durham.

1:20:00 > 1:20:03He enrolled at 17.

1:20:03 > 1:20:09- And sadly died at 19. - That's so unfair.

1:20:09 > 1:20:15- 13th November, he dies two days after the Armistice.- That's right.

1:20:15 > 1:20:18The trouble is, because it's become a personal story,

1:20:18 > 1:20:20I almost don't care about value

1:20:20 > 1:20:24because I'm getting to know these individuals.

1:20:24 > 1:20:28- You could have two for 100. - Well, that's a good deal, isn't it?

1:20:28 > 1:20:32- If we had them both, would you throw that in?- No!- Yes!- No!

1:20:32 > 1:20:35Two for 100 and that for a tenner.

1:20:35 > 1:20:38Do the whole lot for 100 quid.

1:20:38 > 1:20:41In the middle. 105, that's it.

1:20:41 > 1:20:46- I've ended up on your side. - Why's that? - I got confused halfway through.

1:20:46 > 1:20:48£100.

1:20:48 > 1:20:50- And five.- And...

1:20:50 > 1:20:53Argh! ..five pounds.

1:20:53 > 1:20:55105. Done.

1:20:55 > 1:20:59- Thank you very much, indeed. - CHUCKLING:- OK.

1:20:59 > 1:21:04'And with that, good cop and bad cop are ready to call it a day.

1:21:09 > 1:21:14'With everything to play for, day two sees our experts...

1:21:14 > 1:21:17'Hang on. That's not them!

1:21:17 > 1:21:20'There they are. ..and our celebrities raring to go.

1:21:20 > 1:21:24'Believe me, the boys are full of competitive spirit.'

1:21:24 > 1:21:27Spent quite a few quid on our first item.

1:21:27 > 1:21:33- Have you?- So it could be shot down in flames or do well.

1:21:33 > 1:21:38- You like a bit of a gamble. - I like a bit of a gamble!

1:21:38 > 1:21:40I learnt a lot yesterday.

1:21:40 > 1:21:45Every time I pick up something, Thomas gives me one of those looks.

1:21:45 > 1:21:47- "Put it down, you fool!"- Yeah.

1:21:47 > 1:21:51What I like about him, he really tries to strike a hard bargain.

1:21:51 > 1:21:55THOMAS: We're playing this good cop, bad cop thing.

1:21:55 > 1:22:00I'm quite hard a negotiator and he's quite soft.

1:22:00 > 1:22:05Tuffers and I have a different approach. We're bad cop, bad cop.

1:22:05 > 1:22:09- Neither of us know what we're doing. - THOMAS CHUCKLES

1:22:09 > 1:22:13'Well, Philip, that explains everything as, so far,

1:22:13 > 1:22:16'you and Tuffers have spent £230 on one lot,

1:22:16 > 1:22:20'the infamous nut trolley-cum-coffee table.'

1:22:22 > 1:22:25Get on there! Tuffers!

1:22:25 > 1:22:29'Chris and Thomas have held the purse strings a little tighter,

1:22:29 > 1:22:34'parting with £105 for their World War I collection.'

1:22:34 > 1:22:36105. Done!

1:22:36 > 1:22:40'So, it's still anybody's game, and round two starts now.'

1:22:40 > 1:22:45- Thomas, you just stroked my thigh. - Did you like it?- It was rather nice.

1:22:45 > 1:22:47'Enough of that, thanks.

1:22:47 > 1:22:51'Having begun in Hastings and moved on to Hove,

1:22:51 > 1:22:55'we're meant to be en route to the town of Rye.

1:22:55 > 1:22:59'Instead, Thomas and Chris are headed back to Hastings.

1:22:59 > 1:23:01'Confused? Don't be.

1:23:01 > 1:23:06'After all, how can the boys resist a visit to the Hastings museum

1:23:06 > 1:23:08'which celebrates a British hero,

1:23:08 > 1:23:12'John Logie Baird, the man who invented television?'

1:23:12 > 1:23:15- Hello. I'm Thomas. - Pleased to meet you, Thomas.

1:23:15 > 1:23:18- I'm Chris.- Hi, Chris. - Nice to see you.

1:23:20 > 1:23:25'Originally from Scotland, Baird moved to Hastings to convalesce

1:23:25 > 1:23:27'after a long bout of ill health.

1:23:27 > 1:23:32'Despite being strapped for cash, he began to experiment,

1:23:32 > 1:23:35'building the world's first working television

1:23:35 > 1:23:39'out of a hatbox, a pair of scissors and a used tea chest.'

1:23:39 > 1:23:42This is how it all came together?

1:23:42 > 1:23:44This is a replica of the machine

1:23:44 > 1:23:48he was playing with when he got it to work, in Hastings.

1:23:48 > 1:23:53People say, "He made it from hatboxes and knitting needles."

1:23:53 > 1:23:57- And he did. You can see there's a bicycle gear.- Yeah!

1:23:57 > 1:23:59He had very little money.

1:23:59 > 1:24:03A guy in London, a Mr Day, was a cinema and radio entrepreneur.

1:24:03 > 1:24:06He sent lots of bits and pieces that Baird needed,

1:24:06 > 1:24:11including a secret light cell, a really important part of equipment.

1:24:11 > 1:24:16'Sure enough, on October 2 1925, Baird successfully transmitted

1:24:16 > 1:24:19'the first TV picture -

1:24:21 > 1:24:26'the head of a ventriloquist's dummy, named Stookey Bill.'

1:24:26 > 1:24:31- How did people react to it?- They loved it. They were intrigued by it.

1:24:31 > 1:24:36Within a couple of years of leaving Hastings, he was demonstrating it in Selfridges department store.

1:24:36 > 1:24:39People would queue up to see themselves on TV.

1:24:39 > 1:24:46It made me laugh when you said people were fascinated that they could see themselves on television.

1:24:46 > 1:24:50It still happens! I'm broadcasting and people in the background go...!

1:24:50 > 1:24:53"I'm on telly!" It still happens!

1:24:53 > 1:24:57'Baird's next move was seeking publicity on a national scale.

1:24:57 > 1:25:00'When he approached the Daily Express,

1:25:00 > 1:25:03'the editor assumed him to be a lunatic.

1:25:03 > 1:25:05'The canny Scot was undeterred

1:25:05 > 1:25:09'and within two years, he achieved another first -

1:25:09 > 1:25:12'transmitting a television signal long distance.

1:25:12 > 1:25:14'It seemed like all things were possible.'

1:25:14 > 1:25:18- I think I know what it is. Just confirm it.- It's the first telly.

1:25:18 > 1:25:24It's dated on here, 1930. When did he do his first experiment?

1:25:24 > 1:25:281924, he's starting to succeed, so it's just a few years.

1:25:28 > 1:25:32So, six years, and we're in production.

1:25:32 > 1:25:34- Absolutely.- Made by...?

1:25:34 > 1:25:39A professional company who'd taken over his work by then.

1:25:39 > 1:25:42They were selling these for about £30.

1:25:42 > 1:25:47You might be earning £3 or £4 a week, so quite a big investment.

1:25:47 > 1:25:49You say he was an entrepreneur.

1:25:49 > 1:25:54He invented one of the most popular things to hit the modern world.

1:25:54 > 1:25:58- Did he make any money out of it? - Baird, not really.

1:25:58 > 1:26:02To go from that to the next step up required a huge investment.

1:26:02 > 1:26:07That's when the investors moved in. It becomes Baird Television Ltd.

1:26:07 > 1:26:13There was a point when he was thrown off the board. He wasn't moving in the direction they wanted to go.

1:26:13 > 1:26:18'With the outbreak of war in 1939, television broadcasting in Britain

1:26:18 > 1:26:23'was completely shut down and Baird's company went bankrupt.

1:26:23 > 1:26:29'But he continued to refine the technology up to his death in 1946.'

1:26:29 > 1:26:33He'd experimented with and demonstrated colour television,

1:26:33 > 1:26:37- high resolution television and even 3-D television.- No?

1:26:37 > 1:26:39- No way?- Successful.

1:26:39 > 1:26:43So he saw the whole thing. He saw it happen.

1:26:43 > 1:26:45- 3-D TV. No way!- Absolutely.

1:26:45 > 1:26:50'Without a doubt, John Logie Baird was a man ahead of his time.

1:26:50 > 1:26:55'Not only are his innovations still shaping our favourite entertainment,

1:26:55 > 1:26:59'but thanks to him, I'm on at least five nights a week! Ha-ha!

1:27:01 > 1:27:05'Our next stop - the ancient town of Rye,

1:27:05 > 1:27:09'which from the Middle Ages, was one of Britain's most historic ports.

1:27:09 > 1:27:13'For more than 300 years, from this vantage point

1:27:13 > 1:27:20'England defended its borders against everyone from Viking invaders to the French.

1:27:20 > 1:27:23'When the war ships moved out, the smugglers moved in.

1:27:23 > 1:27:27'What better place to send this group of rogues...'

1:27:27 > 1:27:31- Are we ready to go? Round two. - We'll go this way, you go that way.

1:27:31 > 1:27:35'..who will plunder the many antique shops?

1:27:35 > 1:27:38'Starting with Strand Quay Antiques,

1:27:38 > 1:27:42'where the two Phils are all about strategy.'

1:27:42 > 1:27:48- What's our plan then, Phil? - The plan, Tuffers, is we haven't got a plan.

1:27:48 > 1:27:50'Told you so.'

1:27:50 > 1:27:54- Silver forks!- Really? - I used to be a silversmith.

1:27:54 > 1:27:59My first job I got was, I went down into the workshop

1:27:59 > 1:28:03and there must have been about 2,000 of these,

1:28:03 > 1:28:05all with the prongs bent.

1:28:05 > 1:28:10My old man said, "First job, you've got to straighten all the prongs,

1:28:10 > 1:28:12"then file the ends,

1:28:12 > 1:28:15"then put a file across the top."

1:28:15 > 1:28:20- We don't want them.- I'm interested. - I've had my fill of silver forks.

1:28:20 > 1:28:25'Fair enough. As Phil Serrell scans the shelves of this lovely store,

1:28:25 > 1:28:27'the neurons begin firing.'

1:28:27 > 1:28:32- I've just come up with a plan.- Yeah. - We should buy something sporting.

1:28:32 > 1:28:36Have you got anything sporting, my love? Cricket bats?

1:28:36 > 1:28:38Footballs, rugby balls.

1:28:38 > 1:28:42- I've got some bowls.- Bowls. - Bowls? Bowls!

1:28:42 > 1:28:45'Bowls! Thank goodness for Kim!'

1:28:45 > 1:28:48- Let's plonk them on here. - I like those.

1:28:48 > 1:28:51- These are lignum vitae.- Sorry?

1:28:51 > 1:28:53Lignum vitae, "tree of life".

1:28:53 > 1:28:56Now, there's a story.

1:28:56 > 1:29:00They used to scrape the bark off this tree and drink it as tea.

1:29:00 > 1:29:04The natives used to reckon it cured certain antisocial diseases

1:29:04 > 1:29:07- that sailors took there.- Oh, OK.

1:29:07 > 1:29:10- Have you got the white, the jack? - No.

1:29:10 > 1:29:14I'll tell you what the real pity is. This is only half a set.

1:29:14 > 1:29:16That's number one.

1:29:16 > 1:29:20That's number two, three and four.

1:29:20 > 1:29:24- There should be two ones, two twos...- I have got the others.

1:29:24 > 1:29:28- Where are they?- In the other shop. - The other shop?- Yes.

1:29:28 > 1:29:30How much are these?

1:29:30 > 1:29:33Ouch! "£48, basket not included."

1:29:33 > 1:29:37'Yes, indeed. And the rest of the set...

1:29:37 > 1:29:39'Cue Kim's husband, Richard.'

1:29:39 > 1:29:42Thank you, darling. Lovely.

1:29:42 > 1:29:44'Something he's laid earlier.

1:29:44 > 1:29:46'And we're looking at around £100,

1:29:46 > 1:29:50'which means it's once again time for Philip Serrell's bag of tricks.'

1:29:50 > 1:29:55- It's all down to price for us. - These ones were 65.

1:29:55 > 1:29:58So £100 for the five. We couldn't do that.

1:29:58 > 1:30:04- We could do half that.- Oh, no! I've got to make something on them.

1:30:04 > 1:30:05Um...

1:30:05 > 1:30:07What about...

1:30:07 > 1:30:0980?

1:30:09 > 1:30:13- We'll make you our best shot, one-off deal.- Go on.

1:30:13 > 1:30:15Best shot. This is a one-off deal.

1:30:15 > 1:30:17- Once and only!- There's two.

1:30:17 > 1:30:21There's four. And I'm afraid, that's going to be it.

1:30:21 > 1:30:24- That's going to be it?- 60 quid.

1:30:24 > 1:30:26Oh, dear!

1:30:26 > 1:30:28'No. Not "dear". Expensive.

1:30:28 > 1:30:30'It may be time for the old

1:30:30 > 1:30:34'"I know you've got to make a profit but..." speech.'

1:30:34 > 1:30:38I know you've got to make a profit, but honestly, I think...

1:30:38 > 1:30:40Where I'm coming from is this.

1:30:40 > 1:30:42I think, if we pay 60 for them

1:30:42 > 1:30:46and we put them into auction at 80 to 120.

1:30:46 > 1:30:51If they make £80, by the time you've taken the commission off,

1:30:51 > 1:30:53if they make £80, we've made £6.

1:30:53 > 1:30:56I know that's of no relevance to you.

1:30:56 > 1:31:00- We're up against...- All right. All right. You've convinced me.

1:31:00 > 1:31:04- Is that all right, my love?- Yes. - Aw! Thank you very much!

1:31:04 > 1:31:07Thank you very much, my love.

1:31:07 > 1:31:12- Thank you very much.- I suppose you want something to carry them in.

1:31:12 > 1:31:14I hadn't thought about that.

1:31:14 > 1:31:18- You might as well take the baskets. - Ooh. You are an angel!

1:31:20 > 1:31:24'As for the competition, their game plan is...

1:31:24 > 1:31:27'look for the wow factor.'

1:31:27 > 1:31:32- We want wow factor.- We do. We've got to think outside the box.

1:31:32 > 1:31:34I've just found the FA Cup.

1:31:34 > 1:31:39- It's actually a tankard with all the FA Cup winners on it.- Hm. No.

1:31:39 > 1:31:44'Chris is currently finding out what we've known for years.'

1:31:44 > 1:31:47- The Cheery Bowler. - It's a lot of money. No.

1:31:47 > 1:31:51'Thomas Plant is a very difficult man to please.'

1:31:51 > 1:31:53- What about that thing there?- No.

1:31:53 > 1:31:56See? "No. No."

1:31:56 > 1:31:58Supposedly, according to Tom,

1:31:58 > 1:32:03we are looking for something with the wow factor.

1:32:03 > 1:32:07I keep picking up stuff with the "Eugh" factor, according to him.

1:32:07 > 1:32:09No, no, no.

1:32:09 > 1:32:10'No.'

1:32:10 > 1:32:15'So with Chris's spirits suitably crushed, it's off to Halcyon Days.'

1:32:15 > 1:32:17- What's that?- No.

1:32:17 > 1:32:19'He means yes.

1:32:19 > 1:32:23'Thomas has fallen in love with an anchor. Chris hates it.'

1:32:23 > 1:32:27- Bit of fun.- It says, "Not from Titanic."- Doesn't matter.

1:32:27 > 1:32:30That is a bit of fun. What do you think?

1:32:32 > 1:32:33Um...

1:32:33 > 1:32:35'I told you. He hates it.'

1:32:35 > 1:32:37Let's have a look at it.

1:32:40 > 1:32:43Big old heavy cast iron anchor.

1:32:43 > 1:32:47- It's very, very heavy. - You seem surprised!

1:32:47 > 1:32:50That an anchor's heavy. That's what I'm worried about.

1:32:50 > 1:32:55- Well...- You're supposed to be the knowledgeable one.- Am I really?

1:32:55 > 1:32:58It's got a bit of age.

1:32:58 > 1:33:01It's not brand new, I don't think.

1:33:01 > 1:33:03- No.- You know. It's...

1:33:04 > 1:33:06It's a bit mad.

1:33:08 > 1:33:12- Mad or bad?- You've got to buy the maddest thing.

1:33:12 > 1:33:16- It's got to appeal. It's got to be...- Yeah.- Showy.

1:33:16 > 1:33:19- Do you know what I mean? - I get showy.

1:33:19 > 1:33:23'Thomas's next move - ignore everything Chris has just said.'

1:33:23 > 1:33:27- I'm quite keen on the anchor.- Yes. - Quite keen on the anchor.

1:33:27 > 1:33:29But not keen on the price tag on it.

1:33:29 > 1:33:32'And, of course, make Maureen an offer.'

1:33:32 > 1:33:36- £8 off. 45. - Couldn't you do any more than that?

1:33:36 > 1:33:39- Well, it isn't mine.- Right, OK.

1:33:39 > 1:33:43- You wouldn't do it for 35? - No. Definitely not. No.

1:33:43 > 1:33:47- What about 40, then?- Possibly 40. - Possibly 40?

1:33:47 > 1:33:52- For 40, you're getting a bargain. - Do you think so?- I do, indeed.

1:33:52 > 1:33:56- Let me look at your eyes. Are you trustworthy?- I am trustworthy!

1:33:56 > 1:34:00- I am very trustworthy. - She is trustworthy.

1:34:00 > 1:34:02What do you think?

1:34:03 > 1:34:07It has grown on me, I must admit. I didn't like it originally.

1:34:07 > 1:34:09But it has grown on me.

1:34:09 > 1:34:12- It's a showy thing. - It is. And it is unusual.

1:34:12 > 1:34:15There's not going to be another one in the auction.

1:34:15 > 1:34:19I want to go for it. Do you want to go for it?

1:34:19 > 1:34:23- WE want to go for it. - You want to go for it.- I'm there.

1:34:23 > 1:34:28'So, in summary, I think they're going to go for it. Right, Chris?'

1:34:28 > 1:34:31Wasn't the wow factor I'm looking for.

1:34:31 > 1:34:33It has worked on me.

1:34:34 > 1:34:38Still not convinced, but I've got to believe in him, haven't I?

1:34:38 > 1:34:42'Yup, and now the boys have got their little piece of wow,

1:34:42 > 1:34:46'as chosen and approved by Thomas, it's off to Strand Quay Antiques.'

1:34:46 > 1:34:48A-ha!

1:34:48 > 1:34:51- TUFFERS: Here we go! - Hello, boys!

1:34:51 > 1:34:53How have you got on?

1:34:53 > 1:34:56- Oooh! - He's got an itchy nose!

1:34:56 > 1:35:01Have you bought anything? We may have made a purchase!

1:35:01 > 1:35:04- You know you said you'd made a big gamble?- Yes.

1:35:04 > 1:35:08We've seen yours and we've raised you one!

1:35:08 > 1:35:10We're going to go for it now.

1:35:10 > 1:35:14- Have you done this shop? - Tuffers, let's go.

1:35:14 > 1:35:17- Good luck. - We don't want your rejects!

1:35:17 > 1:35:21Tuffers, show me the glide again, the Come Dancing glide!

1:35:21 > 1:35:24Sensational!

1:35:24 > 1:35:27- Sev-en! - TUFFERS LAUGHING: Sev-en!

1:35:28 > 1:35:32'Coast now clear, Chris has spotted something he likes.'

1:35:32 > 1:35:33Look at that!

1:35:33 > 1:35:37'But what, we all ask, will Thomas say?'

1:35:37 > 1:35:40You can either go... # Putting on my top hat! #

1:35:40 > 1:35:42Or this.

1:35:42 > 1:35:45- AS TOMMY COOPER:- Ha-ha-ha!

1:35:45 > 1:35:47THOMAS LAUGHS

1:35:47 > 1:35:50- What do you think? - You look rather fetching.

1:35:50 > 1:35:53- That is quite good.- You reckon? - I like that, yeah.

1:35:53 > 1:35:57'But how will it fare at an auction in Chiswick?'

1:35:57 > 1:35:59So, 1961.

1:36:01 > 1:36:04I don't recognise that name.

1:36:04 > 1:36:08- I mean, there are no famous fez makers, are there?- No.

1:36:08 > 1:36:12But the arrow means that it's military.

1:36:12 > 1:36:15Does that not make it more collectable?

1:36:15 > 1:36:17Hugely more collectable.

1:36:17 > 1:36:22And we've already got that military theme running through our purchases.

1:36:22 > 1:36:26I think it's twenty...something pounds.

1:36:26 > 1:36:28£28.

1:36:28 > 1:36:30I want it for nothing.

1:36:31 > 1:36:34Do you want to do a bad cop thing?

1:36:34 > 1:36:38- I'll give it a go.- Do you want to give it a go? You're not that keen.

1:36:38 > 1:36:43Well, I'm not that good at being a bad cop. You do it VERY well.

1:36:43 > 1:36:45I'm normally the nice guy.

1:36:45 > 1:36:49- I'd hate to see the bad cop! - THOMAS LAUGHS

1:36:49 > 1:36:51'Well, Thomas, if the shoe fits.'

1:36:51 > 1:36:53I would like to give you a figure.

1:36:53 > 1:36:55Now, you don't have to take it.

1:36:55 > 1:37:00I'd like to start you somewhere. Then we could finish somewhere.

1:37:00 > 1:37:04- How does £15 sound?- No.

1:37:04 > 1:37:06- A good price.- OK.

1:37:06 > 1:37:09We've got 28. You're offering me 15.

1:37:09 > 1:37:14- I'll compromise. I'll do it for 18. - £18?- Yeah.- What do you think?

1:37:14 > 1:37:16- That's cash.- It WILL be cash.

1:37:16 > 1:37:20- Cash.- Fine.- We haven't got any credit anywhere, have we?

1:37:20 > 1:37:23- LAUGHTER - It's got to be cash.

1:37:23 > 1:37:27- I think that is a wonderful gesture, £18.- It's a wonderful gesture.

1:37:27 > 1:37:29- And it's great fun.- OK. Sold.

1:37:29 > 1:37:33- Is that all right?- That's fine. - Thank you, sir.- Thank you.

1:37:33 > 1:37:35Thank you very much.

1:37:35 > 1:37:39- I know it's moth-eaten, but it's going to make people smile.- True.

1:37:39 > 1:37:43- I didn't even have to come in with my bad cop!- You didn't.

1:37:43 > 1:37:47- I was ready there!- Were you? - I'd had a stretch.

1:37:47 > 1:37:49And I was in!

1:37:49 > 1:37:54- But, great man!- Here we are. There's 20. Thank you very much.

1:37:54 > 1:37:59'Determined to spend every penny of their £400 stake, the two Phils

1:37:59 > 1:38:02'are trying their luck at Quay Antiques.'

1:38:02 > 1:38:05This looks a good spot, Phil.

1:38:05 > 1:38:09'Earlier in the day, the competition were also browsing this shop,

1:38:09 > 1:38:11'and right up to the point Thomas said no,

1:38:11 > 1:38:14'Chris was keen on this wee item.'

1:38:14 > 1:38:18- I'm just thinking, Tuffers. We've got to think creatively.- Yeah.

1:38:18 > 1:38:20I think that's worth £5 to £10.

1:38:20 > 1:38:24If Tuffers signs it, it might be worth £20 to £30.

1:38:24 > 1:38:27- I don't know. - "Best wishes, Phil Tufnell."

1:38:27 > 1:38:32- A Cheeky Bowler.- A Cheeky Bowler! That's definitely it.

1:38:32 > 1:38:36- That's what we're going to do, yeah? - All right.- It's got to be £5 to £10.

1:38:36 > 1:38:41I bet you he won't sell it for less than £25 or £30. We'll walk away.

1:38:41 > 1:38:43- Yeah.- We'll be firm.- We will.

1:38:43 > 1:38:47'Don't worry, Philip, I'm sure you'll charm the pants off Norman.

1:38:47 > 1:38:49'Well, figuratively speaking.'

1:38:49 > 1:38:52- Hello, hello. Hiya. - How you going?

1:38:52 > 1:38:55A Cheery Bowler. We quite like that.

1:38:55 > 1:39:00But at £40, we've got more chance of rowing to the moon.

1:39:00 > 1:39:03I think at auction that's £10 to £20.

1:39:03 > 1:39:06Unfortunately, it's all different traders, you see.

1:39:06 > 1:39:09I can only do so much.

1:39:09 > 1:39:12- So we could do... - 30 would be his best.

1:39:12 > 1:39:15- Ooh.- No, we couldn't do that.

1:39:15 > 1:39:19I would like to buy it. Can I make a suggestion? Can you ring the guy up?

1:39:19 > 1:39:23We'll have a look round. Ring the guy up and explain what we're doing.

1:39:23 > 1:39:27- If he'd take 15 quid, we'd love to buy it off him.- I'll try.

1:39:27 > 1:39:31- Do your best.- I'm not hopeful. - You've got two hard-up people.- Yeah.

1:39:31 > 1:39:35- Incredibly poor.- Yeah. - Can't even afford new cars.

1:39:35 > 1:39:38'It's quite a sob story. Just one problem.

1:39:38 > 1:39:42'Old Norm can't seem to find the dealer's phone number.'

1:39:42 > 1:39:46Go for an executive decision. That's a suspiciously old label.

1:39:46 > 1:39:51It's been here years. So 15 quid. How's that, then?

1:39:51 > 1:39:53- Oh, dear.- Money on the table.

1:39:53 > 1:39:55Good man! Get in there, Tuffers!

1:39:55 > 1:39:58Have I said yes? Did I say yes?

1:39:58 > 1:40:00I'm quite pleased about that.

1:40:00 > 1:40:04'While the two Phils have blown almost every penny,

1:40:04 > 1:40:09'the competition still have £240, which Thomas won't let Chris spend.'

1:40:09 > 1:40:14- We don't have to buy anything. - I think that's a chicken's way out.

1:40:14 > 1:40:18'That's right. Speculation IS the point of this contest.

1:40:18 > 1:40:21'Go ahead, Chris. Buy something nice.'

1:40:21 > 1:40:23We've got a tantalus.

1:40:23 > 1:40:26'Oh. Perhaps not £395 nice.'

1:40:28 > 1:40:30Press the button.

1:40:33 > 1:40:36Ah! That's my idea of paradise.

1:40:36 > 1:40:41- Is it popular?- They are quite popular, with a 1 in front of it.

1:40:44 > 1:40:47Do you think she'd do anything on that?

1:40:47 > 1:40:49- It's asking a bit much, isn't it? - No.

1:40:49 > 1:40:53You could try for every single last penny,

1:40:53 > 1:40:55but I think you might lose money.

1:40:55 > 1:40:59'I quite agree, though this time it's Chris who gets his way.'

1:40:59 > 1:41:03- A colleague's got the tantalus. - Are they up for a deal?

1:41:03 > 1:41:06- I can phone them and find out. - Oh!

1:41:06 > 1:41:09Can I ring them?

1:41:09 > 1:41:12- I'll call and you can speak to them. - That'll be great.

1:41:12 > 1:41:15'But Julie needs to be fast,

1:41:15 > 1:41:20'because just outside, the enemy is approaching.'

1:41:20 > 1:41:23They're nice. How old would they be?

1:41:23 > 1:41:28Lord knows! These are the property of some hospital in about 1953.

1:41:28 > 1:41:30The leather's had it.

1:41:30 > 1:41:32That's a shame.

1:41:33 > 1:41:38- £16.50. I think they're a fiver, Tuffers.- You reckon a fiver?

1:41:38 > 1:41:42They've got a little wing nut, so adjustable.

1:41:42 > 1:41:45Oo-arrr! Oooo-arrrr!

1:41:45 > 1:41:49- Jim lad.- Behind you! - Pieces of eight. Pieces of eight.

1:41:49 > 1:41:51THOMAS: Listen to that!

1:41:51 > 1:41:54I can hear them making a racket.

1:41:54 > 1:41:56Spoiling our business.

1:41:56 > 1:41:58Spoiling our fun.

1:41:58 > 1:42:04'And now they're coming in! Julie, not a word about the tantalus.'

1:42:04 > 1:42:08We're just doing some nice quiet business, in a cordial fashion.

1:42:08 > 1:42:11- THOMAS: Are you hiding something? - Where?

1:42:13 > 1:42:14Ooh, hello.

1:42:14 > 1:42:16Higher! Higher!

1:42:16 > 1:42:19JULIE: They'd like a word about your tantalus.

1:42:19 > 1:42:22TUFFERS: Oh! Tantalus!

1:42:22 > 1:42:25'Oh, nice one, Julie(!)'

1:42:25 > 1:42:26See you in a minute.

1:42:26 > 1:42:33'So, as his mentor looks on, this is finally Chris's chance to buy something he chose himself.'

1:42:33 > 1:42:37Just wondering whether you could do a deal.

1:42:38 > 1:42:42Right. OK. Ahhh.

1:42:42 > 1:42:46And there's nothing you can do on that at all?

1:42:46 > 1:42:48Lovely to speak to you.

1:42:49 > 1:42:53Rubbish. Unfortunately, best she could do was 340.

1:42:53 > 1:42:58'In other words, it's time to take their £240 elsewhere.

1:42:58 > 1:43:02'Although, I'm sure you can guess how this story ends.'

1:43:02 > 1:43:05- I've seen another hat over there. - No.

1:43:05 > 1:43:08- Trunks.- Mm-hm. No.

1:43:08 > 1:43:09No.

1:43:09 > 1:43:14'People who ARE prepared to spend money are Serrell and Tuffers.'

1:43:14 > 1:43:17- These... - TUFFERS LAUGHS

1:43:17 > 1:43:20- I've got to be truthful.- Go on.

1:43:20 > 1:43:24These lousy crutches look out of context in your wonderful stock.

1:43:24 > 1:43:27You want a "really good price" on the crutches?

1:43:27 > 1:43:30Would you take the change in our pockets?

1:43:30 > 1:43:33- No. It's probably 10p. - No.

1:43:33 > 1:43:37I promise you it's more than that. That's only one of them!

1:43:37 > 1:43:40- There's more to come.- There you are.

1:43:40 > 1:43:43JULIE: How much is on the ticket?

1:43:43 > 1:43:47- We don't look at tickets. - I think it's £16.50.

1:43:47 > 1:43:50I don't think £1.90 is going to do it.

1:43:50 > 1:43:54- There's a one-off offer coming. - Go on.

1:43:55 > 1:43:59- I'll put this back in my pocket. - Take the change back.

1:43:59 > 1:44:01There's a one-off offer coming.

1:44:01 > 1:44:05What are we going to do with a pair of crutches?

1:44:05 > 1:44:08- Do you agree with that, or not? - Why not?

1:44:08 > 1:44:10- That's it. Finished.- Go on, then.

1:44:10 > 1:44:12- I'll take a fiver.- Sure?- Yeah.

1:44:12 > 1:44:17TUFFERS: You're a wonderful woman! I think we've been mugged off!

1:44:17 > 1:44:19- ALL LAUGH - We've been completely mugged off!

1:44:20 > 1:44:24- I hope you make a profit on them. > - Yeah. We'll let you know.

1:44:24 > 1:44:30'And with that, the last of the big spenders limp off into the sunset.'

1:44:30 > 1:44:32Get them bowls out!

1:44:32 > 1:44:36- That's what we need.- Some of them might need your crutches!

1:44:36 > 1:44:41'Capital thinking, boys, but right now it's time for a show and tell.'

1:44:42 > 1:44:45- How good are they? - Real wood.

1:44:45 > 1:44:47Not fake wood! Good!

1:44:47 > 1:44:49Or plastic. >

1:44:49 > 1:44:52I like the fact that they're adjustable.

1:44:52 > 1:44:56- How much did you pay? - How much do you think we paid?

1:44:56 > 1:44:59- £15.- Yours, sir.- No! No!

1:44:59 > 1:45:01Fiver.

1:45:01 > 1:45:04- That's good. - £2.50 each.

1:45:04 > 1:45:05She was robbed.

1:45:05 > 1:45:08< This is our first item.

1:45:08 > 1:45:10It's a little lot.

1:45:10 > 1:45:15We've had a bit of fun. This is a sobering item.

1:45:15 > 1:45:18Death plaques for the First World War.

1:45:18 > 1:45:22If you were killed, your family were sent a plaque.

1:45:22 > 1:45:26- You loved the story. - I'm sorry. I got a bit involved.

1:45:26 > 1:45:30I am fascinated by things that you can touch that's real history.

1:45:30 > 1:45:34- PHIL: I like that. - Yeah.- Yeah. Good stuff.

1:45:34 > 1:45:39'As for Phil's next buy, these two might just recognise it.'

1:45:39 > 1:45:41BOTH: Ahh!

1:45:41 > 1:45:43We saw that!

1:45:43 > 1:45:46- Did you?- We think...

1:45:46 > 1:45:49Look at the 'tashes on there!

1:45:49 > 1:45:53We saw this. That's not you, Phil, is it? >

1:45:53 > 1:45:58- I haven't got a moustache. - We loved that.- What's that worth?

1:45:58 > 1:46:02- Well, we saw the price, £40, and just dismissed it.- Walked off.

1:46:02 > 1:46:06- It's got to be worth a tenner. - We thought it's worth 10 or 15.

1:46:06 > 1:46:10Until we thought you could put a bit of added value.

1:46:10 > 1:46:14Oh, no! You've only played, literally, the joker card!

1:46:14 > 1:46:17- Shall I? Best wishes? - Best wishes. Yeah.

1:46:17 > 1:46:22- 'All's fair in love and antiques.' - Freddie Flintoff!

1:46:22 > 1:46:25£4.50! >

1:46:25 > 1:46:28- It's going to make 30 quid! - < Y-yes.

1:46:28 > 1:46:33Now Tuffers has signed it, they'll all giggle and it'll make 50 quid.

1:46:33 > 1:46:36'Can the same be said for this?'

1:46:36 > 1:46:39- What is it?- We're in Rye.

1:46:39 > 1:46:41Don't start!

1:46:41 > 1:46:45Harbour and docks, and you bought an anchor to take to Chiswick.

1:46:45 > 1:46:47- Yeah.- Yeah.

1:46:47 > 1:46:50There's a lot of wharfs in London.

1:46:50 > 1:46:52A lot of wharfs?

1:46:52 > 1:46:55It's a decorator's thing. Don't you think?

1:46:55 > 1:46:58- It's a big 'un. - It's heavy.

1:46:58 > 1:47:03It's not too big, not too small. It's a good showy object.

1:47:03 > 1:47:06It didn't cost a great deal of money.

1:47:07 > 1:47:11- 50 quid?- There's a good 50 quid's worth of scrap there!

1:47:11 > 1:47:14- < 40 notes. - That's fine, isn't it?

1:47:14 > 1:47:18Yeah. That's what you've got to think about. Profit, profit, profit.

1:47:19 > 1:47:22What do you think to those?

1:47:22 > 1:47:26Ah! I used to be a BBC bowls correspondent!

1:47:26 > 1:47:28- Really?- Yes!

1:47:28 > 1:47:30We got eight. >

1:47:30 > 1:47:34- We found them in two shops.- You're kidding?- They're all paired up.

1:47:34 > 1:47:39- Lignum vitae, aren't they?- Yes. - The only wood which doesn't float.

1:47:39 > 1:47:43'Thomas and Chris's next purchase comes complete with...'

1:47:43 > 1:47:46Ha-ha-ha-ha!

1:47:46 > 1:47:49'..a very bad Tommy Cooper impersonation.'

1:47:49 > 1:47:52It's a tall one! LAUGHTER

1:47:52 > 1:47:56I've never seen one that tall. Have you?

1:47:56 > 1:48:00- And if you say it suits me... - That's a belter!

1:48:00 > 1:48:03'And we can guarantee that anyone

1:48:03 > 1:48:07'who tries this on will be compelled to do this.'

1:48:07 > 1:48:10- What is it that makes you do that? - Light bulb.

1:48:10 > 1:48:12Heavy bulb.

1:48:12 > 1:48:14I see something lurking.

1:48:14 > 1:48:18'And for Tuffers' next trick, he pulls a nut trolley out of a bush.'

1:48:18 > 1:48:21I'll move the table.

1:48:21 > 1:48:26- Exactly. Move the table, and make way...- For a little table.

1:48:26 > 1:48:29- ..for the coffee table.- I like it.

1:48:29 > 1:48:33- These are new tops, put on for a coffee table.- Yeah.

1:48:33 > 1:48:36Nice splinter sort of action.

1:48:36 > 1:48:38We stuck on 300 forever and a day.

1:48:38 > 1:48:43- That's a lot of wood for 300 quid! - It cost us 230.- 230.

1:48:43 > 1:48:45- Ooh!- And I'm not sure.

1:48:45 > 1:48:49Tom, I said, on a really bad day, this could make

1:48:49 > 1:48:52- £100, £120, couldn't it? - < Not a chance.

1:48:52 > 1:48:55- You don't think so? - It's going to do well.

1:48:55 > 1:48:57I reckon that's gonna get...

1:48:57 > 1:49:01350, at the auction. Fantastic. This is great.

1:49:01 > 1:49:05I think we've all bought items with profit in them.

1:49:05 > 1:49:09- Be good, wouldn't it?- Lovely. - Yours have more profit in them.

1:49:09 > 1:49:13'But enough of the niceties. What do our contestants really think?'

1:49:13 > 1:49:17The only thing I'd like of theirs would be the trolley.

1:49:17 > 1:49:21- Would you have paid 230 for it? - No. Do you know why?

1:49:21 > 1:49:25- Because you wouldn't have let me. - No! Do you think I've been tight?

1:49:25 > 1:49:28- Yes!- Really?- VERY tight!

1:49:28 > 1:49:31But I have enjoyed it. It was every time, "No."

1:49:31 > 1:49:35"What about 140?" "Oh!" That's what you do.

1:49:35 > 1:49:38I LOVE the fez. I think it's brilliant.

1:49:38 > 1:49:41I'd buy it. I'd do the barbecuing in it.

1:49:41 > 1:49:47The most they can lose is £30 to £50, and the most they could make is perhaps 150.

1:49:47 > 1:49:52- We've taken a much bigger gamble. We are...- We are the gamble team.

1:49:52 > 1:49:55'After first revving our engines in Hastings,

1:49:55 > 1:50:01'the Celebrity Road Trip comes to an end in Chiswick.

1:50:01 > 1:50:04'That's old English for "cheese farm".

1:50:04 > 1:50:08'Enough from me, we've got an auction to go to.

1:50:08 > 1:50:13'And Philip Serrell, Thomas Plant, Chris Hollins and Phil Tufnell

1:50:13 > 1:50:17'are descending on Chiswick Auctions hoping to make a small fortune.'

1:50:17 > 1:50:19Ah! Partner!

1:50:19 > 1:50:21- Oppo!- How are you? Tuffers.

1:50:21 > 1:50:24Are you nervous? A little bit nervous.

1:50:24 > 1:50:28A little bit worried about a few items.

1:50:28 > 1:50:31I'm terrified. Absolutely completely terrified.

1:50:31 > 1:50:36- We haven't got a lot to lose because we didn't spend much.- We were mean.

1:50:36 > 1:50:39- I was mean with the purse strings. - We might need our crutches.

1:50:39 > 1:50:42They're going to go nuts for our trolley.

1:50:42 > 1:50:45LAUGHTER

1:50:46 > 1:50:50'Both teams began this journey with £400 in the coffers,

1:50:50 > 1:50:55'and two days on, Team Tufnell has played an aggressive game,

1:50:55 > 1:50:57'spending £310 on four lots.'

1:50:57 > 1:51:00Thank you very much. Give us a kiss.

1:51:00 > 1:51:02'Team Hollins has played it safe,

1:51:02 > 1:51:06'parting with just £163 for three auction lots.

1:51:06 > 1:51:08'Though, as Thomas likes to say,

1:51:08 > 1:51:12'the bottom line is profit, profit, profit.

1:51:12 > 1:51:19'So, on that note, how does auctioneer Tom Keane rate our competitors' chances?'

1:51:19 > 1:51:22Today, for me, is going to be real hard work.

1:51:22 > 1:51:26They bought some tough lots to sell, quirky things.

1:51:26 > 1:51:30We've catalogued the trolley as a coffee table,

1:51:30 > 1:51:34hoping someone will see what we see, a fantastic piece of engineering.

1:51:34 > 1:51:38But what's it going to make? It's heavy. People can't lift it.

1:51:38 > 1:51:44The best buy of the day is Chris and Thomas, the World War I medallions.

1:51:44 > 1:51:46They're quite a collector's item.

1:51:46 > 1:51:50I have sold them for £50, £80 each. With a bit of paperwork, 150 each.

1:51:50 > 1:51:52That could be the star lot.

1:51:52 > 1:51:55'So without further ado,

1:51:55 > 1:51:57'let the auction begin.'

1:51:57 > 1:52:00It's like waiting to bat with a fast bowler.

1:52:00 > 1:52:03'Tuffers, the waiting is over.

1:52:03 > 1:52:07'First up, your pair of adjustable wooden crutches.'

1:52:07 > 1:52:11What are these worth? £30?

1:52:11 > 1:52:13- £10. - It's gone very quiet, Tuffers.

1:52:13 > 1:52:14£10?

1:52:14 > 1:52:16'50p, anyone?'

1:52:16 > 1:52:1910. Thank you. The bid here at £10.

1:52:19 > 1:52:23At £10. At 10. Who'll bid me 12? At £10. Give me 12.

1:52:23 > 1:52:27- Get in there! - 12 I've got. Give me 15. Give me 13.

1:52:27 > 1:52:2913. Do you want 14?

1:52:29 > 1:52:32£13. Take 14. At £13.

1:52:32 > 1:52:35All done at £13. I'm gonna sell at 13...

1:52:35 > 1:52:39- Well done.- That's all right. - That's a profit. £13!

1:52:39 > 1:52:43'At least the two Phils will be "walking away"

1:52:43 > 1:52:46'with an £8 profit before commission.

1:52:46 > 1:52:49'Next, it's the auction lot

1:52:49 > 1:52:53'that inspired one bad Tommy Cooper impersonation after another.

1:52:53 > 1:52:56'Thomas and Chris's military fez.'

1:52:56 > 1:52:58I've got a commission bid.

1:52:58 > 1:53:02I'm bid £12. Give me 14 now. I'm bid 12. Give me 14 for it.

1:53:02 > 1:53:0514. Thank you. 16. 18. 20.

1:53:05 > 1:53:0722? 24?

1:53:07 > 1:53:11The bid's at £22. Take 23. Going at 22. All done at £22...?

1:53:11 > 1:53:14I like that. Still a profit. Minute.

1:53:14 > 1:53:18- That is for nothing, Tom. - Profit? £4?

1:53:18 > 1:53:22'That's right, Chris. Most of which will disappear in commission.

1:53:22 > 1:53:24'Just like that!

1:53:24 > 1:53:28'Moving on now, to Phil's lignum bowls.

1:53:28 > 1:53:33'Maybe these will finally get the bidders of Chiswick rolling.'

1:53:33 > 1:53:35£100?

1:53:35 > 1:53:38£30? I'm bid at £30. Give me 32...

1:53:38 > 1:53:40What did we pay?

1:53:40 > 1:53:41..Two. 35.

1:53:41 > 1:53:4638. 40. 42. 45. 48.

1:53:46 > 1:53:4850? At £48. You want 50 over there.

1:53:48 > 1:53:5250. 55. 60. 65. 70.

1:53:52 > 1:53:55The bid's at 65. Who wants 70? At £65, are we done?

1:53:55 > 1:53:58Your last chance to bid. At 65 and gone.

1:53:58 > 1:54:01Ten quid off. That lost us a fiver.

1:54:01 > 1:54:05'Ah, well. Better than a slap in the eye with a wet kipper.

1:54:05 > 1:54:08'When can things get any worse?

1:54:08 > 1:54:13'Try now. Along comes Thomas and Chris's anchor.'

1:54:13 > 1:54:15£100 for it?

1:54:15 > 1:54:19£50 for it, then, please? £50? £30?

1:54:20 > 1:54:25I'm doing it slow cos his arm's getting tired! £20 to go. 20 bid.

1:54:25 > 1:54:2922. 25? 25. 28? 28. 30?

1:54:29 > 1:54:3232? 35? 38?

1:54:32 > 1:54:33At £35 bid.

1:54:33 > 1:54:38The ship's anchor at 35. Take 38. Who else wants to bid me? At £35.

1:54:38 > 1:54:40At 35 and going. All done.

1:54:40 > 1:54:44- I reckon it scrapped at more. - Yeah. It did.

1:54:44 > 1:54:49'Yet another auction lot sinks without a trace. Or a Sharon.

1:54:49 > 1:54:54'Which puts the two Phils into first place.

1:54:54 > 1:54:58'Perhaps the Cheery Bowler, signed by one Mr Phil Tufnell,

1:54:58 > 1:55:01'can finally bring in the mula.'

1:55:01 > 1:55:04- Do you get £100 a signature? - Usually!

1:55:04 > 1:55:08£20 for it? Signature's worth that. £10 for it?

1:55:08 > 1:55:1110 I'm bid. Who'll give me 12? 12. 15?

1:55:11 > 1:55:1315. Do you want 18? 18. 20...?

1:55:13 > 1:55:16You're in profit.

1:55:16 > 1:55:19..It's signed. 20. 22? 22. 25...?

1:55:21 > 1:55:26'My gosh! The unbridled power of celebrity! It's thrilling!'

1:55:26 > 1:55:31..No? At £28. 29 there. 30 there. Give me 32. 32.

1:55:31 > 1:55:3535. 38. 40? 40. 42?

1:55:35 > 1:55:3742. 45? 48? 50?

1:55:37 > 1:55:3952? 55? 58?

1:55:39 > 1:55:41The bid's at £55.

1:55:41 > 1:55:44All done at £55. Going to go at 55.

1:55:44 > 1:55:49All finished at 55, then? Your bid at 55. 171, £55.

1:55:49 > 1:55:50Well done, Tuffers!

1:55:50 > 1:55:56'That's more like it. A £40 profit, before commission.

1:55:56 > 1:56:00'Hoping they really have saved the best until last,

1:56:00 > 1:56:04'Thomas and Chris present their World War I collection.'

1:56:04 > 1:56:07Start me low at £50? Thank you.

1:56:07 > 1:56:10£50. 55? 55. 60? Five. 70. Five.

1:56:10 > 1:56:1280. Five. 90.

1:56:12 > 1:56:14Five. 100?

1:56:14 > 1:56:18110. 120. 130. 140...

1:56:18 > 1:56:21Well done, Tom.

1:56:21 > 1:56:25..140 there. Hands going up everywhere. 150. 160. 170. 180.

1:56:25 > 1:56:28190. 200.

1:56:28 > 1:56:31I'm bid at 190. Give me two for it. 200 bid. New bidder.

1:56:31 > 1:56:36210? Hand goes down. At £200. Give me 210. At £200.

1:56:36 > 1:56:41All done at £200? Your last chance. You out? All out? £200, gone.

1:56:41 > 1:56:45'It's a much needed win for Thomas and Chris,

1:56:45 > 1:56:48'putting them firmly into first place.

1:56:48 > 1:56:51'But this party ain't over yet.

1:56:51 > 1:56:56'The two Phils have invested £230 in this nut trolley-cum-coffee table.

1:56:56 > 1:57:01'They're hoping the good people of Chiswick will go nuts for it! Ha!'

1:57:01 > 1:57:04- Have you signed that? - I will do.- Yeah.

1:57:04 > 1:57:09'There have been several commission bids so cross your fingers, lads.'

1:57:09 > 1:57:11One, two, three, four commission bids.

1:57:11 > 1:57:16- Get in there! - AUCTIONEER: Don't get too excited.

1:57:17 > 1:57:23I'll tell you what the bids are. I've got £120. I've got £125...

1:57:23 > 1:57:27- 'That's not too good.' - ..Two bids of £140 each.

1:57:27 > 1:57:30'Anyone care for a sweet sherry?'

1:57:30 > 1:57:33I've got 140. Take 150 for it. At 140. Worth more.

1:57:33 > 1:57:37£140. Anyone want 50? It should be more than this. £140.

1:57:37 > 1:57:41Are we done? At 140. That's the money so far. At 140.

1:57:41 > 1:57:45All done at 140? Bid now if you want to. Commission bid gets it.

1:57:46 > 1:57:50Ah, mate. I am genuinely gutted there.

1:57:50 > 1:57:54'Well, they came, they saw, they lost £90 on a nut trolley,

1:57:54 > 1:57:59'but you have to admire their spirit of adventure.'

1:57:59 > 1:58:01GIGGLING: Well done.

1:58:01 > 1:58:04Thomas, well done.

1:58:04 > 1:58:08'So, rather than fortune favouring the bold,

1:58:08 > 1:58:12'the two Phils have made an overall loss of £86.14p,

1:58:12 > 1:58:17'which means they end their road trip with...

1:58:18 > 1:58:22'Chris may have been frustrated by Thomas playing it safe,

1:58:22 > 1:58:24'but it's worked a treat.

1:58:24 > 1:58:28'After commission, they've earned a profit of £47.74p,

1:58:28 > 1:58:31'giving them a winning total of...

1:58:31 > 1:58:33'Well done!'

1:58:34 > 1:58:37Ah! Glad that's over! That was nerve-racking.

1:58:37 > 1:58:40- Well played, team. - Commiserations.

1:58:40 > 1:58:44- You deserved to win. - Well done. Bad luck.

1:58:44 > 1:58:46Really good fun. Rematch?

1:58:46 > 1:58:49- Definitely. Any time. - Any time you want!

1:58:52 > 1:58:55'Yup, it's been quite a journey.

1:58:55 > 1:58:59'I don't know about you, but I feel a montage coming on.'

1:59:01 > 1:59:04# The boys are back in town The boys are back in town

1:59:07 > 1:59:10# I said the boys are back in town... #

1:59:10 > 1:59:14'All the money our celebrities and experts make on this series

1:59:14 > 1:59:16'will go to Children In Need.'

1:59:16 > 1:59:20# The boys are back in town... #

1:59:20 > 1:59:23'So thank you, everyone, especially today's winners,

1:59:23 > 1:59:26'Chris Hollins and Thomas Plant. See ya.'

1:59:33 > 1:59:36Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

1:59:36 > 1:59:39E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk