0:00:02 > 0:00:06- Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.- That's the pig for you.
0:00:06 > 0:00:10- This is the pig for me.- One antiques expert each.- Celebrities.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11You will sell this very cheap.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14And one big challenge.
0:00:14 > 0:00:19Who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...
0:00:19 > 0:00:22I'm prepared to hand over the money!
0:00:22 > 0:00:25..and auction for a big profit?
0:00:25 > 0:00:28This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Yeah!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38Welcome to glorious Essex, a far cry from Peckham.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41This couple know a thing or two about dodgy dealing -
0:00:41 > 0:00:43it's Sue Holderness and John Challis.
0:00:43 > 0:00:49That's right, Marlene and Boycie from Only Fools And Horses, innit?
0:00:49 > 0:00:52- They don't make them like that any more.- They don't. My goodness.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56For the classiest couple on TV, this eye catching and very elegant
0:00:56 > 0:00:571960s E-Type Jag.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00They'll be right at home in there.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04Go on, you can do it, you can do it.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07You know you'll never get out again.
0:01:07 > 0:01:08I'm exhausted already.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Time to hit the road. John and Sue have two days
0:01:11 > 0:01:14and £400 apiece to make as much profit as possible.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17No, that's backwards.
0:01:17 > 0:01:18Steady on!
0:01:18 > 0:01:23How about that, eh? Now where am I going?
0:01:23 > 0:01:27John Challis has been a familiar face on our television screens
0:01:27 > 0:01:29since the early '60s.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33I've never relied on anybody, just myself.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36I always got myself out of trouble.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Might come in handy today, John.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40He's now best known as dodgy second-hand car dealer
0:01:40 > 0:01:41Boycie from Only Fools And Horses.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Will his character's love of one-upmanship
0:01:44 > 0:01:47put him on the winning team this trip?
0:01:47 > 0:01:48ENGINE CHOKES
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Gosh, I felt that.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53John's Road Trip rival, Sue Holderness,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55might be game for a challenge,
0:01:55 > 0:01:58as she's played Boycie's flirtatious wife Marlene
0:01:58 > 0:02:01for well over a decade in Fools And Horses
0:02:01 > 0:02:04and their own spin-off series, Green, Green Grass.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07She's equally at home in serious drama as she is in comedy,
0:02:07 > 0:02:10but can she outsmart her TV husband
0:02:10 > 0:02:12by making the most profit on this trip?
0:02:12 > 0:02:14Have you been out buying antiques yet?
0:02:14 > 0:02:17No, you're much more up on the buying of antiques.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22I dabbled about a bit on the fringes of it once in my life
0:02:22 > 0:02:23and it was quite interesting.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26Of course, you did it properly, didn't you?
0:02:26 > 0:02:31Obviously not properly enough, Sue, as he's now a successful actor,
0:02:31 > 0:02:34but don't worry, we'll provide the antiques expertise.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Right on cue, here they are,
0:02:37 > 0:02:41in a rather fitting 1968 Cortina Crayford convertible.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43It's Philip Serrell and Charles Hanson,
0:02:43 > 0:02:45our very own Del Boy and Rodney.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48You've dressed up then, Charlie?
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Well, Phil, we're meeting some very important people. I'm so excited.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Are you?- Very. - I am and was and have been
0:02:54 > 0:02:57a massive Fools And Horses fan.
0:02:57 > 0:03:01We're meeting Marlene and Boycie. Fantastic, Phil.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05No, Charles, you're meeting Sue and John. They're actors.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Come on, Charles. Keep up.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Charles is a fully fledged auctioneer,
0:03:09 > 0:03:11with just over ten years in the business.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14He has an infectious passion for collecting
0:03:14 > 0:03:19and a wide-ranging expertise that belies his boyish enthusiasm.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Sometimes confused and often confusing,
0:03:22 > 0:03:23his eye for the quirky is second to none.
0:03:25 > 0:03:30Charles's opponent, on the other hand, is a match for Boycie any day.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32With well over 20 years' experience of the antiques trade,
0:03:32 > 0:03:36he doesn't mess about when going in for the kill.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38He's mean, he's moody
0:03:38 > 0:03:42and certainly not averse to the quirky negotiation style.
0:03:42 > 0:03:46What was the name of the block of flats?
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- What was it called? - Nelson Mandela House.- Oh, really?
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Charlie, have you seen this programme?
0:03:52 > 0:03:55It's one of my favourite films.
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Films? Now I'm confused.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00Our celebrities and experts will kick off their Road Trip
0:04:00 > 0:04:04in Battlesbridge, meander north into the heart of Essex
0:04:04 > 0:04:08before returning south to an auction showdown in Dartford, Kent.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Where better to begin a battle than in Battlesbridge?
0:04:14 > 0:04:18The village sits on the banks of the tidal River Crouch
0:04:18 > 0:04:20and is named after the Bataille family,
0:04:20 > 0:04:24who maintained the all-important river crossing from early times.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27It is now better known as a centre for antiques
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and collectibles, so the perfect place for our teams to meet.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31THEY LAUGH
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Well, hello!
0:04:33 > 0:04:37My name's Sue. I'm going to hope that you'll yank me up.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40- Nicely done.- This is Charlie.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Hi, Charlie!
0:04:42 > 0:04:45I'll be with you in a minute. This is going to take me some time.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49His legs, I'm afraid, are just too long.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Hello! Shall I come round this way?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Good to see you, Boycie, Charles Hanson.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57It's John, actually, Charles.
0:04:57 > 0:05:01- You managed to get out, then? - Just about.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Sue and Charles will be up against John and Phil.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Let the battle commence. - See you later.- All the best, bye.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11So, Charlie...
0:05:11 > 0:05:17With £400 to spend, Sue and Charles set off at a cracking pace.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19We are running. We're in a hurry.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23Come on, Marlene, I kid you not, time is of the essence.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Her name is Sue, Charles!
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Aware of John's passion for gardening,
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Phil leads John towards Cadix.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34I think this might be beyond our budget.
0:05:34 > 0:05:40- Do you like that? - I do, yes.- It's brand-new.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43If you could buy that for somewhere between...
0:05:43 > 0:05:47We've got to think clever here, because our stuff's going straight
0:05:47 > 0:05:51into the auction, people aren't going to have the day before to view it.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It probably won't be on the internet, so we've just got to...
0:05:54 > 0:05:56It's what's someone going to want there?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00You could argue... Somebody who's got a garden.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03It's not a specific thing, you know what I mean?
0:06:03 > 0:06:07It might just do a job but we need to get it for between 50 and 80 quid.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09- That is good.- But no age.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13Let's bear that in mind, but he said that he's got a shed over here
0:06:13 > 0:06:16that he puts things in which have just come in.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- It might be an idea to go there first.- Very nice.
0:06:19 > 0:06:23Maybe one for the pot later.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Oh, my goodness.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Now, how are Sue and Charles getting on?
0:06:27 > 0:06:29- Hello!- Oh, dear!
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Oh, dear, indeed.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35Can you not see Marlene and Del Boy together having a little cocktail?
0:06:35 > 0:06:38This, to me, takes you back.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43This is a Del Boy special and I think there is somebody out there
0:06:43 > 0:06:46who could see themselves with a little umbrella in the glass.
0:06:46 > 0:06:50- Exactly.- And one of Del's special cocktails.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54- Curacao with a bit of vodka and cider.- Oh, God, don't take me back.
0:06:54 > 0:06:58It captures you, it's in good condition.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02- I love the finish.- It is, I'm afraid, stretching our budget.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04But it is so kitsch.
0:07:04 > 0:07:05Spot on, Charles.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09The home bar has been in and out of fashion since the 1920s and '50s,
0:07:10 > 0:07:13but enjoyed a resurgence in the 1970s.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16This one being a typical example of that era.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20Ticketed at £245, it's not as cheap as it looks.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23- Lovely concave cupboards, I like this.- I like it.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25It runs very smoothly.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27It's a gorgeous piece, in many ways,
0:07:27 > 0:07:31but we are on a very restricted budget.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34If, on the day, there's an Only Fools And Horses fan who's potty,
0:07:34 > 0:07:35it will go quite well.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39If you model yourself beside it, that's the '80s swagger.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44I'd be prepared to drape myself in a bit of leopard-print
0:07:44 > 0:07:46and lean on this bar with you, Charlie.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50- Do you think that might work? - I'm in heaven, Sue. I'm in heaven.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54- What do you think, Jim? - We've got £245 on there.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57It's not priced to take loads of money off
0:07:57 > 0:08:00but a good trade price, 175.
0:08:00 > 0:08:04- Could you come down further?- 150. - Has it been here a long time, Jim?
0:08:05 > 0:08:09- There's no dust on it, is there? - It's been well polished up.
0:08:09 > 0:08:14£150, eh? That's setting the bar quite high for your first buy.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17What could we do to really add value to it?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19We could almost serve a cocktail on it.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Maybe we'd have to now look for cocktail shakers
0:08:22 > 0:08:24that we can add to the package.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Do you know what, you're clever.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28And get a couple of those paper umbrellas,
0:08:28 > 0:08:31which you're probably not going to find in an antique emporium,
0:08:31 > 0:08:32but you never know.
0:08:32 > 0:08:37- I think...- One way or another, that Jim's going to say he'll take 140.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41- Would you take 140 for it, Jim? - I'll take the tenner off for luck.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45He's taking a tenner off for luck! Thank you, Jim. The deal is done.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48That is a deal. I might regret it, Jim, but you know what?
0:08:48 > 0:08:53It's a wonderful item. Purely for its appearance, it's got the edge.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56And I'm prepared to hand over the money!
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Egyptian, maybe, but you'll need to be Tutankhamen to sell it.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Having parted with an astronomical £140,
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Charles and Sue hit the road and Sue's already created a cocktail.
0:09:09 > 0:09:13I think there's the added je ne sais quoi
0:09:13 > 0:09:15- in Marlene's Pinky Winky.- Oh, don't!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17This is going to be a cocktail that could take off.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20That would be an explosion of taste
0:09:20 > 0:09:23and hopefully, an explosion of hands everywhere.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28People are going to be as excited by the cocktail,
0:09:28 > 0:09:32Marlene's own recipe, as they are by that magnificent Egyptian bar.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Rettendon is a small village in the borough of Chelmsford
0:09:37 > 0:09:39and was once owned by the Bishop of Ely.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44It's home to FB Antiques, Sue and Charles's next stop.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47Meanwhile, back in Battlesbridge,
0:09:47 > 0:09:51John is exercising his powers of persuasion.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53You will sell this very cheap to us.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01What do you reckon to that? I was just thinking, London auction.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- What was it used for? - It's a water filter.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05A water softener.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Which do you prefer out of the two?
0:10:07 > 0:10:12Out of the one full of water or this one? I don't know.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15We'll get the right price, of course.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18For the right price, we could get both!
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Quick learner, John.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24- £60.- For the two? £60 for the two, that's not bad!
0:10:24 > 0:10:29- That's not bad, a very good deal. - Could you do 100 quid for the two?
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- Which is putting them in at 40 and 60.- Say 50 and 60, 110.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36110, what do you think?
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Let's have a wander round. - That's very interesting.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42I do like that, that's good.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46No hurry, we've got all day.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53The laidback approach may just take Jim off guard.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55What would be the absolute finish on those two?
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Could you do the two for 100 quid if we put the one in at 50
0:10:58 > 0:11:01and the other in at 50?
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- That's really giving the urn away, isn't it?- It's up to you.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09- I know you've got to make a profit. - Yeah, I'll do that.- You would do it.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11Put them in the back of the E-Type.
0:11:11 > 0:11:15That's £100 spent, I'll shake you by the hand now.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18You've been very kind to us. Thank you ever so much.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Thank you very much, sir.- Thank you.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Well done, boys. Two lots sorted.
0:11:23 > 0:11:28A Victorian stoneware water filter and a large garden urn for £100.
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Now, where's the Jag?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Wey-hey! We're off, aren't we?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38I got that far.
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Or maybe not.
0:11:42 > 0:11:43That's reverse, Phil.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46There's a clutch in there somewhere, isn't there?
0:11:46 > 0:11:50How are Sue and Charles getting on in Rettendon Common?
0:11:53 > 0:11:55That's quite nice, isn't it?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59- It's very sweet.- That's quite good. That's Elkington silver,
0:11:59 > 0:12:05so that teaspoon does belong in the box, silver.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Elkington were Birmingham manufacturers
0:12:08 > 0:12:12who patented the first commercial electroplating process in 1840.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15It's a delightful set, but isn't there something missing?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18It hasn't got its little napkin ring.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Could one find a napkin ring to put in there?
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Fred, have you any napkin rings floating around in your emporium?
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- Unfortunately, I don't. - It's quite nice.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30We're not going to make a killing on this, are we?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Just one second, there might... - Fred's had an idea.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36Nothing like a good rummage through your own drawers.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Look what he's found! Does it fit?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- I doubt it. - It's going to be too fat.
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Oh...
0:12:47 > 0:12:52What a man. That is a Victorian silver napkin ring.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54You then have a fairly modern Elkington,
0:12:55 > 0:12:59who were the leading silver and plate manufacturers and retailers,
0:12:59 > 0:13:02with a very nice silver egg cup and a spoon,
0:13:02 > 0:13:05and although it's a matched set now,
0:13:05 > 0:13:08because before that wasn't there, that's a good lot.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10You're falling in love, aren't you?
0:13:10 > 0:13:14Look at the man there and tell him, just look into his eyes.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17- I'm falling in love with his napkin ring.- Fred, she's falling in love.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18I'm falling in love.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21What can you do this for, Fred?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22For you, it's a gift at £10.
0:13:24 > 0:13:25Can I hug this man?
0:13:25 > 0:13:28I'm going to give permission to Marlene to give you a hug
0:13:28 > 0:13:30and say that's a sale.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34It's Sue, Charles. I give up.
0:13:34 > 0:13:35- Thank you very much.- You're welcome.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39It's been the best part of our day so far. How lovely.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Phil and John are taking a break from buying antiques
0:13:42 > 0:13:43and heading off for a visit.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46They're heading for Kelvedon Hatch,
0:13:46 > 0:13:50John and Philip are about to enter a nuclear bunker...
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Very exciting.
0:13:51 > 0:13:55..built in 1952 when relations between east and west
0:13:55 > 0:13:56were at their lowest.
0:13:56 > 0:14:00Josef Stalin was still in power in the Soviet Union
0:14:00 > 0:14:03and Churchill was back in government in Great Britain.
0:14:03 > 0:14:08Warheads were being produced at an alarming rate and pointing our way.
0:14:08 > 0:14:12There was a very real threat that they would be used.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14By the 1960s and '70s, the threat was taken
0:14:14 > 0:14:17so seriously that public information films were broadcast, giving hints
0:14:17 > 0:14:21and tips on how to survive a nuclear attack.
0:14:21 > 0:14:26ANNOUNCER: There is danger outside, so don't go outside.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29John and Phil have come to meet Mike Parish, grandson of the
0:14:29 > 0:14:34original owner, from whom the MoD requisitioned the land.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Mike bought it back, complete with the nuclear bunker, frozen in time
0:14:38 > 0:14:42since its decommission in 1992, but it's far from what you might expect.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44This is a bit like an iceberg, isn't it?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48What you see on the top is a fraction of what's underneath.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- It is, indeed.- Really? - This is the guard house.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54It was built in 1952 by the Air Ministry, designed to look like a
0:14:54 > 0:14:59typical farm cottage as a bit of a disguise, and it houses the entrance
0:14:59 > 0:15:03to the bunker, which is buried 100 foot underground behind you.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06You might imagine that a bunker is a dark, dank,
0:15:06 > 0:15:08concrete hole in the ground.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10But no, far from it.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12This underground complex utilised
0:15:12 > 0:15:15the cutting edge technology of its time.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18It's fantastic walking through here, isn't it?
0:15:18 > 0:15:21It's so evocative and I think it's because of the sounds.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25And it's almost as if it's up and running
0:15:25 > 0:15:28and the people have just left, you know? I think it's extraordinary.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32It's not known exactly how many nuclear bunkers are dotted around
0:15:32 > 0:15:36the country, but estimates vary between 300 and well over 1,000.
0:15:38 > 0:15:41In 1949, the Soviet Union tested its first atomic bomb,
0:15:41 > 0:15:44which triggered the building of these bunkers.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Designed to hold up to 600 personnel,
0:15:49 > 0:15:51including the Prime Minister and the Cabinet,
0:15:51 > 0:15:54it was more like a city under the ground, completely self-contained
0:15:54 > 0:15:58with offices, dormitories, telephone exchange, television studio
0:15:58 > 0:16:02and even its own operating theatre.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05Its chilling role in the event of an unthinkable nuclear strike
0:16:05 > 0:16:09was to co-ordinate the military response and ensure the survival
0:16:09 > 0:16:11of the remaining British population.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15After the fall of the Berlin Wall, east-west relations improved.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18This bunker, and numerous others like it,
0:16:18 > 0:16:21was costing millions of pounds a year to maintain,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24so it was eventually decommissioned.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27But now it's preserved as a museum,
0:16:27 > 0:16:30a bleak reminder of what could have been.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32It's an astonishing place with plenty of reminders
0:16:32 > 0:16:35of our recent history lying about.
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- How many of these chairs have you got?- Quite a few.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41- We'll give you 20 quid for four. - 20 for four?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44That's only a fiver each!
0:16:44 > 0:16:50- Your maths is better than mine.- Got cash on here. There it is. Bang!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52In your hand. That's a deal.
0:16:52 > 0:16:56- Gentleman and a scholar.- Good man!
0:16:56 > 0:17:00That's your 20 quid. Right, we've got to find four of these now.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Well done, sir.- I'll have that one.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05So, heading back to the surface
0:17:05 > 0:17:08with Phil's nuclear souvenirs, the chairs,
0:17:08 > 0:17:13it's time for all our experts and celebs to take a well-earned rest.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14Night night!
0:17:14 > 0:17:16JOHN HUMS
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Day two of the road trip and the sun is shining.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24Our celebrities are rested, ready
0:17:24 > 0:17:26and on the road to rejoin the experts.
0:17:26 > 0:17:29I think you, basically, should be very depressed,
0:17:29 > 0:17:32because I think our stuff is... going to fly.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35I've a feeling the phone lines are going to be hot.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Picturing that bar, lukewarm actually comes to mind.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42Now, how is the temperature in the Cortina?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45How many of the... How many laughs did you get?
0:17:45 > 0:17:50- He's John Challis, Charlie. - No, but it's Boycie.
0:17:50 > 0:17:54That's acting. That's not what they're really like, that's not their real names.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58- I keep telling him. - Is he like Boycie, though?
0:17:58 > 0:18:05Oh, honestly!
0:18:02 > 0:18:05Now, this road trip is on the move again
0:18:05 > 0:18:09and our teams find themselves in Great Baddow.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- Bye! Bye-bye! Bye! - Good to see you again!
0:18:12 > 0:18:15While Sue and Charles head into the Baddow Antique Centre...
0:18:15 > 0:18:18We've got to look for something quirky and fun...
0:18:18 > 0:18:22- Exactly, exactly. - ..to go with what we've already got.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25..John and Phil are nipping up the road to try their hand
0:18:25 > 0:18:28in A Little Bazaar.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30This shop isn't built for me, John.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33- But it's truly bizarre. - I'm going to breathe in.- OK.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37Sue, what are you thinking?
0:18:37 > 0:18:39We're rolling back the years.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42You can see Del Boy drinking his cocktail out of that, can't you?
0:18:42 > 0:18:46That'd be an awfully big umbrella. Is this going to ruin your reputation
0:18:46 > 0:18:50forever, Charlie, just mingling with me and being persuaded to buy...
0:18:51 > 0:18:54Marlene...look at me. No! I assure you, Marlene, it won't,
0:18:54 > 0:19:00because when you go to such almost a sickly kitsch, it's what the market
0:19:00 > 0:19:05thrives on, because it's such a heartbeat from a certain period.
0:19:05 > 0:19:10- I'm in love with it.- It's in good condition, it's not overpriced.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14I think what we'll do is put it down, mental note,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17- and when we quickly... - See what we've got left in the kitty.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19- Exactly.- Don't forget it.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22I don't think it's going to fly off the shelf as we wander around.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Now, are John and Phil making any progress?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28What have you found?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29That's sweet.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33And it's practical. It actually works. Look at that.
0:19:33 > 0:19:40- Does the other one work as well?- Yes. - How much is that?- What? Four pounds.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44- We can't!- Go on, Phil, push the boat out.- Hornby! Hornby, course it is.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47It's a Meccano Hornby train set.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50Some little lad, 1953, waiting for Father Christmas to come.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Sounds like me. I was that boy.
0:19:53 > 0:19:57- Really?- I always wanted... - Tragic story.
0:19:57 > 0:20:01Excuse me while I reach for the hankies!
0:20:01 > 0:20:04Meanwhile, have Sue and Charles finally found something?
0:20:04 > 0:20:08What about, for the bar, the Uncle Albert decanter.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Exactly.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14For those who don't know, Del's Uncle Albert was
0:20:14 > 0:20:17one of the iconic characters from Only Fools And Horses.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20An ex-Navy man, notorious for his fishy tales beginning with,
0:20:20 > 0:20:22"During the war..."
0:20:22 > 0:20:25- Uncle Albert did sink an awful lot of ships.- Yes.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29And that's the sort of thing that would have gone down with him.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31- Were you quite close to uncle Albert?- Very close.- Were you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Don't you think he might have brought it back from his days at sea?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37"During the war..."
0:20:37 > 0:20:39"During the war", and Del would have loved it
0:20:39 > 0:20:41because it's nicely decorated.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I am a little bit in love with this. You're not, are you?
0:20:43 > 0:20:47No, but for the memory of that great man, you're quite right.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51We could romanticise it, couldn't we, really take people back?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53We can let them live those days during the war.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- Mental note.- Mental note.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Not sure that the war was that romantic, Charles, actually,
0:21:01 > 0:21:04but is there any romance in the little bazaar?
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- Phil, where are you?- What? - I've had a great idea, look.
0:21:08 > 0:21:09They're not for you, are they?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12Fantastic shoes and I have found this dress?
0:21:12 > 0:21:14Don't you think it's pure Marlene?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17I mean, look, see, it's as if they're made for each other.
0:21:17 > 0:21:21What do you think are the chances? Can we get her to model it?
0:21:21 > 0:21:24You know her better than I. Do you think there's a chance?
0:21:24 > 0:21:28- Do you think it'd sell?- No. - She'd love it.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Those are fantastic.- Aren't they?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33They might suit Marlene,
0:21:33 > 0:21:37but I'm not sure about Sue, who happens to have found a bargain.
0:21:37 > 0:21:42- Priced at...it's free.- There's no price. Could be a freebie.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43You're quite right.
0:21:43 > 0:21:47- That's a really attractive chair. - It's cute, isn't it?- And it's period.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52That's happily period, so it's 1885 and that's a cute chair.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55Can we find out how much that is, because I'm in love with that.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Are you really? I'll go and find out.
0:21:57 > 0:22:01She falls in love quite freely, our Sue, doesn't she?
0:22:01 > 0:22:05My lady over here has found a very nice chair.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- And it looks as though it's free. There's no label on it.- OK.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- Let's investigate for you.- Can we see if it's absolutely dirt cheap?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16This is a chair that Marlene would buy.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18It's also a chair that I would buy.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22I think I am turning into Marlene. That's a great worry!
0:22:22 > 0:22:26- It's got no price on it.- No. - Can we just walk out with it?
0:22:26 > 0:22:27The dealer is just giving it away.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30That's awfully sweet of... Male or female dealer?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Fortunately, the dealer is here today,
0:22:32 > 0:22:35- so we can have a word with Ian. - We can actually thank him?
0:22:35 > 0:22:38- I'll have a quick chat with him and see what we can do.- Would you?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- Thank you.- No problem at all.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41Bad news.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45Ian says the chair comes with a desk, but the good news...
0:22:45 > 0:22:49However, he is prepared to sell it separately and the very best
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- he can do is £60. - If it was 50,
0:22:51 > 0:22:54I would say, "I don't care what you think, I'm buying it anyway."
0:22:54 > 0:22:57- Yes, yes.- But at 60, I know it's a risk.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00That's your very best, 60?
0:23:00 > 0:23:03Do you want me to go and try my very best?
0:23:03 > 0:23:06- Shall I say...- Marlene?- It's Sue!
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- Go and talk to him. - Strut your stuff, please.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11- Ian, you're Ian.- Yes.
0:23:11 > 0:23:13Ian, I love your little chair.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Couldn't do it for 50, could you? - As it's you.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Ian, I love you! We're having it!
0:23:19 > 0:23:22A Little Bazaar has certainly lived up to its name,
0:23:22 > 0:23:26as John and Phil have found an odd mix of toys,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28ladies' shoes
0:23:28 > 0:23:31and majolica.
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Have they lost their way?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34For such a small shop, how did we got lost here?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Ooh, I don't know.- We need to make a decision, don't we?
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- So it was £20 for those three, wasn't it?- That's it.
0:23:40 > 0:23:41I tell you what I think,
0:23:41 > 0:23:44I think if we buy these, we can put that with something else.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49We can put that with something else, right? And I'm so confident,
0:23:49 > 0:23:51- so confident that we're going to be victors...- Yes.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54- ..that we can always give those to Sue, can't we?- As a present.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58- As a compensatory present for losing.- For coming second.- Yes, yes.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- She'd love that. Yes, she would. - 20 quid. Yes?
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Yes.- Great, terrific. - You happy with that?
0:24:04 > 0:24:07Come along, driver. Hurry up.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10John and Phil say goodbye to Great Baddow
0:24:10 > 0:24:12and head for their next shop in Halstead.
0:24:13 > 0:24:17Meanwhile, back in Great Baddow, Sue and Charles continue shopping
0:24:17 > 0:24:21and funnily enough, that goblet and decanter set
0:24:21 > 0:24:22have not been snapped up.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25- What about this? - It's... Goodness me.
0:24:25 > 0:24:31Imagine that on the bar with... Uncle Albert's decanter.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Yes, that's a nice twosome, I like it.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Have you noticed what it was standing on?
0:24:35 > 0:24:37You're becoming a very risque shopper.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40- I've got the shopping bug now, darling.- Yes, I know.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42- And I do like the chair as well. - I think it's beautiful,
0:24:42 > 0:24:44a little silver tray. Tell me about that.
0:24:44 > 0:24:48Probably 1930s, 1950s. It's called an Art Deco tray.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52It has this wonderful, almost...
0:24:52 > 0:24:55I don't know what it is, actually, almost a sort of lacquered veneer,
0:24:55 > 0:24:59which really gives off that slinky feel.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I think that the people here are going to be very kind to us.
0:25:02 > 0:25:06Before we ask them, can I get my alligator glass?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I can't leave without my alligator glass.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Go and get that now and let's do a deal.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Ah, if you must, Sue.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16I don't care if it does ruin his reputation.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18Nor does he, I suspect.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20I love your run, by the way.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21It's the high heels.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24I love it. It's quite like my own run as well. It's great.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Now, we've got four items here we need to negotiate on.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Because otherwise, we're not going to have one of these lots,
0:25:30 > 0:25:32because we haven't got enough money.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- Exactly. Exactly.- Is this where we need to talk to...
0:25:35 > 0:25:36This is where it gets interesting.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39OK, so the decanter,
0:25:39 > 0:25:43my Uncle Albert decanter, is marked at 38.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45What do you think you could do for us?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49As it's you, Marlene, the very best we can do on that
0:25:49 > 0:25:51is going to be £10 on the decanter
0:25:51 > 0:25:52and I think that's a very fair deal, OK?
0:25:52 > 0:25:56- That's unbelievable.- Give. - That is a gift.- It's a gift.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59This is Ernie, he's the owner of the cocktail shaker and tray.
0:25:59 > 0:26:04The two of them are marked at 110 and Russell's already,
0:26:04 > 0:26:07we've beaten him down to 75. Can you do any better?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10- Because we've got to beat Boycie, I'll do it for £50.- Oh!
0:26:12 > 0:26:13I love it! Can I kiss another man?
0:26:13 > 0:26:17- What a man.- Thank you. No problem. Good luck.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- I'm falling in love all over again. - Thanks, you're a good man, £50.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23- Thank you so much.- Thank you.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25There's also one more thing, isn't there?
0:26:25 > 0:26:27There is one more thing
0:26:27 > 0:26:31and this, I think, is actually going to ruin Charles Hanson's reputation.
0:26:31 > 0:26:32Get out of here.
0:26:32 > 0:26:37But I want very much to buy, for my Del Boy cocktail bar,
0:26:37 > 0:26:39this beautiful alligator glass.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40I'm building it up too high,
0:26:40 > 0:26:43because then it will be overpriced.
0:26:43 > 0:26:44I don't know if we can afford it.
0:26:44 > 0:26:48OK, going on the prices of the cocktail shaker and the tray,
0:26:48 > 0:26:50I think it's only fair we do the glass for £5.
0:26:51 > 0:26:52SUE LAUGHS
0:26:52 > 0:26:55Oh, I'm a woman in Heaven.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57Thank you very much, consider the whole thing done,
0:26:57 > 0:26:59we're buying the lot.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Boycie, eat your heart out.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04SHE LAUGHS
0:27:04 > 0:27:07Ha! Don't speak too soon, Sue, because in Halstead,
0:27:07 > 0:27:09John and Phil have found old legal documents
0:27:09 > 0:27:11that look to be of interest.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13How much do you think that's worth?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17- I don't know. What, individually? - Yes.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21I don't know. At least a fiver, isn't it?
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Would you pay a pound for it?
0:27:23 > 0:27:25- Yes, I would. - Well, it's priced at a pound.
0:27:27 > 0:27:29I was thinking if you bought, perhaps...
0:27:29 > 0:27:34I love them. I think they're right up my personal alley here.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37There's a load more in there, which are a bit more valuable.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39You know, I mean, I think...
0:27:39 > 0:27:42- You could make a whole wall of them, couldn't you?- Yes.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Fantastic wallpaper, isn't it?- Yes.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47What are they saying, these?
0:27:47 > 0:27:51This is an indenture, isn't it?
0:27:51 > 0:27:54In medieval times, a contract was written in duplicate
0:27:54 > 0:27:57on the same sheet, with the copies separated
0:27:57 > 0:28:01by cutting along a jagged or toothed line, hence indenture,
0:28:01 > 0:28:04so that the teeth of the two parts
0:28:04 > 0:28:07could later be refitted to confirm authenticity.
0:28:07 > 0:28:08"Between these agreements,
0:28:08 > 0:28:12"right honourable Robert Earl Grosvenor, Viscount
0:28:12 > 0:28:15"Belgrave and Baron Grosvenor of Eton
0:28:15 > 0:28:21"in the County Palatine of Chester..."
0:28:21 > 0:28:22- That's an indenture...- Yes.
0:28:22 > 0:28:25..that's between the Duke of Westminster's estate
0:28:25 > 0:28:26or a relative of his.
0:28:26 > 0:28:30Tripartite indenture, so it's between three people.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33I'll bid you 50 quid for the lot now.
0:28:33 > 0:28:34Toss you for it.
0:28:36 > 0:28:38- What, 50?- Heads, 70, tails 50.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41- We've got no idea. Bit of fun, isn't it?- Yes, yes.
0:28:41 > 0:28:43- You up for that?- Yes. You've got the double-headed coin.
0:28:43 > 0:28:45I have. Hold on. I'll just go and check it out.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47- Use yours, yes.- Yes.
0:28:47 > 0:28:48HE LAUGHS
0:28:48 > 0:28:50I missed that.
0:28:52 > 0:28:54Right, are you ready for this?
0:28:56 > 0:29:00Now, if we win, we get them for 50 quid.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Heads 70, tails 50.
0:29:02 > 0:29:03- So you're calling heads.- Yes.
0:29:05 > 0:29:08Grudgingly, very grudgingly, I've got to give you 70 quid now.
0:29:08 > 0:29:10That makes each individual document
0:29:10 > 0:29:12worth a pound, with 70 in the collection.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15Thank you ever so much. Thank you, thank you.
0:29:15 > 0:29:16Cheers, mate. Terrific.
0:29:16 > 0:29:18John's taken a liking to a couple of glass tankards,
0:29:18 > 0:29:25printed with signatures of the 1960s Surrey and England cricket teams.
0:29:25 > 0:29:29Having shown the way, Phil has left John to make the deal.
0:29:29 > 0:29:31Absolute rock bottom, I'd really like £15.
0:29:31 > 0:29:34- That's your rock bottom?- Mmm.
0:29:34 > 0:29:39Well, I'm afraid my rock bottom's actually a bit lower than yours.
0:29:39 > 0:29:40Great start, John.
0:29:40 > 0:29:43Might be worth, what? Five quid each?
0:29:43 > 0:29:47I might need to squeeze a bit more out of you than five quid each.
0:29:48 > 0:29:49Toss for it.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Remember what happened last time, John.
0:29:52 > 0:29:5315 or 10.
0:29:53 > 0:29:56- Heads, 15, and 10, tails. - Tails. Got it.
0:30:00 > 0:30:03- So are we saying... - I'm saying tails.
0:30:07 > 0:30:08It's tails.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10- For 15?- No!
0:30:10 > 0:30:12THEY LAUGH
0:30:12 > 0:30:13He's changed it round again.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16£10. £10. Terrific. Thank you very much.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18Well, Philip, that's the way it's done.
0:30:18 > 0:30:23Well, I think that was good. You happy with that lot?
0:30:23 > 0:30:25I'm really happy with that lot, I'm really, really happy.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27Whether they make any money, Lord knows,
0:30:27 > 0:30:29but I think we've bought really interesting things.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33- I'm very happy, so if you're happy, I'm even happier.- Good stuff.
0:30:33 > 0:30:36This road trip is on the move again, in Gosfield.
0:30:36 > 0:30:38That's Gosfield shopping village. No time to lose.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Good evening, ladies.
0:30:43 > 0:30:44Do you recognise that?
0:30:44 > 0:30:45Ah!
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Good Lord, that is tiny.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52- Trotters Independent Traders.- Yes.
0:30:52 > 0:30:56- New York, Paris and Peckham. - New York, Paris, Peckham.
0:30:56 > 0:30:58I think that's so cool.
0:30:58 > 0:31:00The Trotters' iconic van is frequently
0:31:00 > 0:31:02and incorrectly referred to as a Robin.
0:31:02 > 0:31:05It's actually a Reliant Regal Supervan.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08Would it be possible to have a look at that, do you think?
0:31:08 > 0:31:09Yes, of course.
0:31:09 > 0:31:11If you get a fine point or something,
0:31:11 > 0:31:14- you could just get the signature on there.- Yes.
0:31:14 > 0:31:16Well, it's a possibility.
0:31:16 > 0:31:20So this is... They call these swing framed toilet mirrors.
0:31:20 > 0:31:23- Oh, yes? - Because the frame swings.- Yes.
0:31:23 > 0:31:28It's lifted and it's got this nice shield shape to it all.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30But it's been through the mill a little bit.
0:31:30 > 0:31:34So this would've sat in a gentleman's bathroom,
0:31:34 > 0:31:36with a wash set and bowl, probably,
0:31:36 > 0:31:39- and he would keep his studs or whatever in there.- Yes.
0:31:39 > 0:31:42In an ideal world, if at all possible,
0:31:42 > 0:31:46it would be good if we can buy the two for 20. That would be good.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48I think special for you, yes.
0:31:48 > 0:31:51Really? You're an angel. Thank you very much, indeed.
0:31:51 > 0:31:54Let me get some money. This is where the money comes out again.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56- Thank you so much. - You're welcome.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58I'm amazed you've got any left, Phil.
0:31:58 > 0:32:02- Well done.- Thank you very, very much.- That's fantastic.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05- You like that.- I do. - I love that.
0:32:05 > 0:32:08- I love the shape of it. - It's elegant, isn't it?
0:32:08 > 0:32:09I think it is, yes.
0:32:09 > 0:32:12- Well, there we go. Finished.- Yes.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15Not quite.
0:32:15 > 0:32:17Time to discover what your rivals have been buying
0:32:17 > 0:32:20and to share with them your own eccentric purchases.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Three, two, one, go.
0:32:24 > 0:32:28- Well!- Certainly interesting, isn't it?- That's interesting, the word interesting.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30These four stacking chairs, which I think are trendy,
0:32:30 > 0:32:34- we got them out of the nuclear bunker.- You didn't.- Yes.
0:32:34 > 0:32:37- They were what you call fallout. - Really?- They were £20.- Yes.
0:32:37 > 0:32:42- SUE: For the four.- We bought this urn, which cost us 60 quid,
0:32:42 > 0:32:43so we hope there's a bit of a profit in that.
0:32:43 > 0:32:47I think you bought that because Mr Challis wants that in his garden.
0:32:47 > 0:32:50- I could get inside it, too. - SUE: We'd like to see that.
0:32:50 > 0:32:53How much is a Challis urn?
0:32:53 > 0:32:57And then we bought this water purifier, the London water filter.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00- Which was 40 quid.- Yes.
0:33:00 > 0:33:01But the most interesting thing,
0:33:01 > 0:33:04I will now hand you over to my dear and esteemed colleague,
0:33:04 > 0:33:05is these lots here.
0:33:05 > 0:33:07SUE: That's pretty. What are these?
0:33:07 > 0:33:11We found all these indentures and we got them, actually,
0:33:11 > 0:33:13I think, at a very, very good rate.
0:33:13 > 0:33:16- There are 70 of them. - We paid a pound each.
0:33:16 > 0:33:18I think they are really speculative.
0:33:18 > 0:33:23I think they could do really well, because they have that history,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27which, if you catch the right buyer, they're worth a lot of money.
0:33:27 > 0:33:29- It would be wonderful to do the research on it.- Absolutely.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32We thought, if nothing else, you could paper your loo with them.
0:33:32 > 0:33:36- I'd rather put them on the wall, personally.- Ready?- Ready. - On your marks, get set, go.
0:33:36 > 0:33:37Here's our first ensemble.
0:33:37 > 0:33:40- That's nice, Charlie. - Oh, gosh, that's lovely, yes.
0:33:41 > 0:33:46See you later, alligator! I'm afraid I fell in love with this.
0:33:46 > 0:33:49I suspect it's going to ruin any credibility that Charles Hanson
0:33:49 > 0:33:52- has ever had in the business. - No, I like that.
0:33:52 > 0:33:54What's it worth, John? What's it worth?
0:33:54 > 0:33:56- Have a guess.- Oh, I don't know.
0:33:56 > 0:33:58£2.50?
0:33:58 > 0:33:59Yes, thanks for coming. Yes, thanks.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02- What did it cost us?- A fiver. - We got it for a fiver.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04I think you're right. Charlie, what's the last thing?
0:34:04 > 0:34:06- Well...- This...
0:34:06 > 0:34:10- ..we got caught in time, didn't we? - Yes, I think it might be our coup.
0:34:10 > 0:34:11This is our great coup.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13Are you ready? Three, two, one, drop the cloak.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16Look at that. Look at that.
0:34:16 > 0:34:18I cannot actually believe it.
0:34:18 > 0:34:20Do you know, I am horribly underwhelmed.
0:34:20 > 0:34:22Same here.
0:34:22 > 0:34:24Overwhelmed, sorry.
0:34:24 > 0:34:29Now, when we saw this delightful, wonderful cocktail bar,
0:34:29 > 0:34:31- which cost us 140...- 140.
0:34:31 > 0:34:34- How much?!- We are going to sell it with the unique...
0:34:34 > 0:34:36Unique.
0:34:36 > 0:34:37..unbelievably good...
0:34:37 > 0:34:42- Which you'll taste in a moment. - ..recipe for Marlene's Slinky Pinky.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46- Her very own recipe.- I'm going to propose a toast. Here's to a jolly good auction for all of us.
0:34:46 > 0:34:47ALL: Cheers.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Here's to a jolly good auction.
0:34:49 > 0:34:50Well done. Very good.
0:34:50 > 0:34:52Oh, my life!
0:34:52 > 0:34:55This road trip started in Battlesbridge,
0:34:55 > 0:34:57but the winner will be decided in the auction room
0:34:57 > 0:35:00that awaits due south in Dartford.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03Dartford has been a market town since medieval times,
0:35:03 > 0:35:07and was an important crossing for the old Dover-to-London road,
0:35:07 > 0:35:09but forget about a walk in the park today.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12We're here to do battle at Watermans Auction Rooms.
0:35:14 > 0:35:18Both teams begin with £400 each and two days on,
0:35:18 > 0:35:23John and Philip have only spent £240 of it on a number of items,
0:35:23 > 0:35:25now organised into six varied lots.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28- Fantastic wallpaper, isn't it?- Yes.
0:35:28 > 0:35:33Almost better than anything else, I'm thinking, Mr Alligator.
0:35:33 > 0:35:35Sue and Charles spent slightly more,
0:35:35 > 0:35:40at £265, and also ended up with six auction lots.
0:35:41 > 0:35:44The man with the gavel is Colin Waterman.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48First up, John and Phil's water filter.
0:35:48 > 0:35:50Nobody at 60? I'll try with 50, then, surely.
0:35:50 > 0:35:5250 I've got, thank you.
0:35:52 > 0:35:5550 I've got. Five anywhere?
0:35:55 > 0:35:56Selling at 50.
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Too cheap at 50. 55, 60, five.
0:35:59 > 0:36:0170? 70 I've got.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03Five I'm looking for. It's for charity.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05You're a good valuer of these.
0:36:05 > 0:36:0670 I've got, still.
0:36:06 > 0:36:11Last time. It's going. At £70, it's selling.
0:36:11 > 0:36:13- Well done.- Fair warning.
0:36:13 > 0:36:14Well done, John.
0:36:14 > 0:36:17A good start for John and Philip, with a tidy profit.
0:36:17 > 0:36:19Even minus commission.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24Next up, Sue's kitsch goblet.
0:36:24 > 0:36:2515 straight in. 16, 18.
0:36:25 > 0:36:26Thank you.
0:36:26 > 0:36:2722, 24.
0:36:27 > 0:36:30- Yes, good!- 26.
0:36:30 > 0:36:3128, £30.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33- 32, 34.- Yes, I like it!
0:36:33 > 0:36:3534, 36.
0:36:35 > 0:36:3738, £40, 42.
0:36:37 > 0:36:40- 44.- There is no justice here.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42We should have bought more rubbish.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45Instead of the quality we went for.
0:36:45 > 0:36:4760 anywhere?
0:36:47 > 0:36:50Seated at 55 and it's selling.
0:36:50 > 0:36:51Yes!
0:36:51 > 0:36:55An amazing £50 profit, which puts Sue's team out in front.
0:36:55 > 0:36:59Charlie, how did that work? How did that work?
0:36:59 > 0:37:01As an auctioneer, I'd have thought you'd know that, Phil.
0:37:03 > 0:37:06Now, will the large garden pot be a nice little earner for the boys?
0:37:06 > 0:37:08100 I've got, thank you.
0:37:08 > 0:37:10That is a relief.
0:37:10 > 0:37:14105, 110, 115, 120.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Think of Grandad.
0:37:16 > 0:37:18Five, 30, five, 40, five.
0:37:21 > 0:37:22This is going well.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25180, five.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27190, five.
0:37:27 > 0:37:28200, 210.
0:37:30 > 0:37:31Still 210 there.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34Selling at £210 for the last time.
0:37:34 > 0:37:36It sells at 210.
0:37:36 > 0:37:39- Well done.- Oh, thank you. - Boycie, well done.
0:37:39 > 0:37:40Well done, indeed.
0:37:40 > 0:37:42£150 profit.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44John's passion for gardening clearly paying off.
0:37:44 > 0:37:48Next, it's Sue and Charles's Uncle Albert decanter.
0:37:48 > 0:37:49No bid at 25.
0:37:49 > 0:37:50Oh, no.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53- 20.- No, no, no.
0:37:53 > 0:37:56Clearly no fans of Uncle Albert here.
0:37:56 > 0:37:5815? 15 I have.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00- Yes!- 18 anywhere now?
0:38:00 > 0:38:02Selling at 15.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04Last time. It's going to sell.
0:38:04 > 0:38:05- 18, thank you.- Yes!
0:38:05 > 0:38:0920, 22, 24, 26.
0:38:09 > 0:38:11Keep it going. 32, 34.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16These people are in need of treatment.
0:38:16 > 0:38:19Still with the lady at 36. Eight anywhere?
0:38:19 > 0:38:22I'm selling at £36.
0:38:22 > 0:38:23Yes.
0:38:23 > 0:38:24- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:38:24 > 0:38:27Lovely jubbly! A £26 profit.
0:38:27 > 0:38:29Uncle Albert would be pleased.
0:38:29 > 0:38:31Next up is Phil's impulse buy from the bunker.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35£20 to start me on the four?
0:38:35 > 0:38:36- 15?- Ouch.
0:38:36 > 0:38:3710? Ouch, ouch.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Ouch! Oh, dear.
0:38:40 > 0:38:42I'll take the five for the four chairs, then.
0:38:42 > 0:38:43That's a five I have.
0:38:43 > 0:38:47Six? Six. Seven?
0:38:47 > 0:38:48Six I have.
0:38:48 > 0:38:50I think we've just crashed.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52We - I - have just crashed here.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54Big-time, Phil.
0:38:54 > 0:38:55Sold.
0:38:55 > 0:38:59Well, thanks, mate. Well done. Terrific.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01Been lovely seeing you. See you all soon, it's been lovely.
0:39:01 > 0:39:02Bye!
0:39:02 > 0:39:05A loss of £14, less commission.
0:39:07 > 0:39:10Next up, the silver-plated Deco pieces.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Sue is expecting great shakes for these.
0:39:12 > 0:39:1540. It's a lovely thing.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17Down to 35, then.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19- 110 now!- This is Dartford!
0:39:19 > 0:39:22Don't they do cocktails in Dartford?
0:39:22 > 0:39:24I kissed two antique dealers for this.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27£30 I've got to start it.
0:39:27 > 0:39:2930 I've got. Looking for 35.
0:39:29 > 0:39:3335, 40, five, 50.
0:39:33 > 0:39:35- Selling at 45 to the young lady. - No, no!
0:39:35 > 0:39:39Last time at 45.
0:39:40 > 0:39:41We made a loss!
0:39:41 > 0:39:43Correct, Sue.
0:39:43 > 0:39:45In fact, a £5 loss less commission.
0:39:45 > 0:39:47Funny old world, isn't it?
0:39:47 > 0:39:51Well, Phil, let's hope it's funny enough to contain a cricket-loving
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Meccano-collecting majolica fan in need of a mirror,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57who wants to buy your next lot.
0:39:57 > 0:40:0035 straight in at the back. 38. 40?
0:40:00 > 0:40:0440 there. 42, 44.
0:40:04 > 0:40:0846, 48, 50, 55.
0:40:08 > 0:40:1160? Still 55.
0:40:11 > 0:40:12At 55, it's going.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16That's a £10 profit before commission.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19It's looking as though the boys are unbeatable.
0:40:21 > 0:40:24Will Sue's bedroom chair close the gap?
0:40:24 > 0:40:26Should be around about 50. 45?
0:40:26 > 0:40:2940?
0:40:29 > 0:40:31£40 straight in, thank you.
0:40:31 > 0:40:32Five anywhere?
0:40:32 > 0:40:3440, I've got. Still looking for five.
0:40:34 > 0:40:3645, 50.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38Five, 60?
0:40:38 > 0:40:4155 I have. 60 anywhere?
0:40:41 > 0:40:43Selling at 55.
0:40:44 > 0:40:47I've got to tell you, I think that was a result.
0:40:47 > 0:40:48Do you?
0:40:48 > 0:40:51OK, we have a box of...
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Unfortunately, Charles, after commission, that's actually a loss.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Up next, the Trotters Independent Trading company van.
0:41:00 > 0:41:0120?
0:41:01 > 0:41:0318?
0:41:03 > 0:41:0515, surely. 15,
0:41:05 > 0:41:0716, 18, 20.
0:41:07 > 0:41:0822.
0:41:08 > 0:41:1124, 26, 28.
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Going well for a three-wheeler.
0:41:13 > 0:41:1434, 36.
0:41:14 > 0:41:1838, 40.
0:41:18 > 0:41:19Worth it.
0:41:19 > 0:41:2042, 44?
0:41:20 > 0:41:22Still 42 and selling at £42.
0:41:24 > 0:41:25Well done.
0:41:25 > 0:41:27Well done, guys. Well done.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29Well done, thank you.
0:41:29 > 0:41:32Cushty, I believe is the word.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36Next up, it's the collection of indentures.
0:41:36 > 0:41:3970 in total, bought for £70.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41120, I've got.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43Looking for 125.
0:41:43 > 0:41:44125.
0:41:44 > 0:41:46130, five, 140, five,
0:41:46 > 0:41:50150, five, 160, five,
0:41:50 > 0:41:53170, five, 180, five,
0:41:53 > 0:41:54190, five,
0:41:54 > 0:41:58200, 210, 220, 250.
0:41:58 > 0:42:00260,
0:42:00 > 0:42:02270,
0:42:02 > 0:42:04280?
0:42:04 > 0:42:08270 seated. At 270.
0:42:08 > 0:42:09- Brilliant. - Pleased with that.
0:42:09 > 0:42:11And so you should be, Phil.
0:42:11 > 0:42:15A £200 profit before commission, all on the toss of a coin. Cor!
0:42:15 > 0:42:17Lovely jubbly.
0:42:17 > 0:42:19Let's hear it.
0:42:19 > 0:42:20Shut up, Charles.
0:42:20 > 0:42:21Lovely jubbly.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Del Boy'd be proud of you, my son.
0:42:25 > 0:42:28Proud indeed, as it puts you firmly in the lead.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32However, Sue and Charles still have two lots to go.
0:42:32 > 0:42:35The first of these, the silver Elkington set.
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Start me at 60.
0:42:37 > 0:42:38Lovely piece of Elkington.
0:42:40 > 0:42:41Any interest at all?
0:42:41 > 0:42:42Over there, sir.
0:42:42 > 0:42:4460 with the lady here.
0:42:44 > 0:42:4660 I've got.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48Five anywhere?
0:42:48 > 0:42:49Selling at £60, at the back.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53At £60.
0:42:53 > 0:42:58That's £50 profit, but still leaves Sue and Charles trailing.
0:43:00 > 0:43:02It's time to kitsch up with their final item.
0:43:02 > 0:43:06In the words of the inimitable Del Boy Trotter,
0:43:06 > 0:43:09the bonnet de douche of today's auction.
0:43:09 > 0:43:10Bring on the bar!
0:43:10 > 0:43:14Anyone, 165? 165 there. I've got 170.
0:43:14 > 0:43:16You get a free drink!
0:43:16 > 0:43:19175. In the room at 175. Looking for 180. I'm out.
0:43:19 > 0:43:20And you get a free cocktail.
0:43:20 > 0:43:22- Looking for 180 now. - And you get a free cocktail.
0:43:22 > 0:43:24- A free drink.- Free cocktail.
0:43:24 > 0:43:26You get the bar, you get the pineapples.
0:43:26 > 0:43:30And the purchaser will get photographs of Boycie and Marlene
0:43:30 > 0:43:34at the bar drinking a cocktail.
0:43:34 > 0:43:37Another profit, but is it enough?
0:43:37 > 0:43:41As an epic struggle ends, let's crunch the numbers.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45Our celebrities began with £400 each.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49After auction costs, Sue and Charles have made a reasonable profit
0:43:49 > 0:43:53of £84.32, so end their road trip
0:43:53 > 0:43:56with a total of £484.32.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00After auction costs,
0:44:00 > 0:44:05John and Philip have made an amazing profit of £295.46
0:44:05 > 0:44:09and end their road trip with a total of £695.46,
0:44:09 > 0:44:12giving them a resounding victory.
0:44:14 > 0:44:17All good things come to an end, so time to say their goodbyes.
0:44:17 > 0:44:20Could be an interesting drive back.
0:44:20 > 0:44:21Funny thing is, a profit
0:44:21 > 0:44:24of £84.32 would normally win one of these trips,
0:44:24 > 0:44:27but Sue and Charles were up against an unstoppable partnership
0:44:27 > 0:44:29in John and Phil.
0:44:29 > 0:44:33Now it's time for our experts and celebs to part company
0:44:33 > 0:44:36for the last time. All profits generated by our celebrity teams
0:44:36 > 0:44:38will go to Children In Need.
0:44:38 > 0:44:40Three days and he's learnt her name.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43- How does the laugh go? - Huh-huh-huh-huh!
0:44:56 > 0:45:00Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd