Episode 12

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:07- Some of the nation's favourite celebrities... - That's the pig for you.

0:00:07 > 0:00:10- ..one antiques expert each... - Celebrities.

0:00:10 > 0:00:13- He's being silly on purpose. - ..and one big challenge -

0:00:13 > 0:00:19who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

0:00:19 > 0:00:22I'm swimming out of my depth.

0:00:22 > 0:00:27..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

0:00:27 > 0:00:33- Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice? - It goes with your eyes.- Does it?

0:00:33 > 0:00:38And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"?

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Time to put your pedal to the metal.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

0:00:47 > 0:00:49Yeah!

0:00:49 > 0:00:54Lovely Lancashire, the staging post for this shopping adventure.

0:00:54 > 0:01:01Graced with the presence of intelligentsia packed into a 1969 MG TF,

0:01:01 > 0:01:06each with £400 to gamble on purchased antiques. Lovely.

0:01:06 > 0:01:11- Why do we love convertibles in Britain? - I just love convertible cars.

0:01:11 > 0:01:15I feel we should be doing some sort of detective series.

0:01:15 > 0:01:21He's the lawyer who made us laugh, the barrister who became a broadcaster. He raised

0:01:21 > 0:01:25the TV chat show bar and never minced his words.

0:01:25 > 0:01:31- Greyhounds don't need a jockey. - That's right!- Ever worry they might do that with horses?

0:01:31 > 0:01:34They can have an electric thing with a bale of hay on it.

0:01:34 > 0:01:38He's taken this case, no win, no fee. He's Clive Anderson.

0:01:38 > 0:01:41This is me, Clive Anderson, saying good night.

0:01:44 > 0:01:48This fine lady of letters has truly changed the world.

0:01:48 > 0:01:53Cultural critic, writer and, for many, the personification of feminism.

0:01:53 > 0:01:56I don't have a naive faith in sexual promiscuity.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01Equality is not my game. I don't do equality.

0:02:01 > 0:02:08She became a publishing sensation with The Female Eunuch and made a lot of old-fashioned folk cross.

0:02:08 > 0:02:10Mainly men.

0:02:10 > 0:02:17I had to remember not to sing because if I did the young men would know there was a wet, naked woman.

0:02:17 > 0:02:22She's an Aussie, not to be trifled with. She's Germaine Greer!

0:02:22 > 0:02:25I am NOT a leader of the women's liberation movement.

0:02:25 > 0:02:32We get an expert to help us here, an expert each. Would you take advice from an expert?

0:02:32 > 0:02:37If it comes to making a profit because I know nothing about it.

0:02:37 > 0:02:43I just intended to say, "Oh, that looks pretty. Surely somebody will buy that."

0:02:43 > 0:02:48- But we want to know its provenance. - Buy cheap and sell dear!- Yes!

0:02:48 > 0:02:55Fear not, Clive. We've pulled out all the stops to get you the very best expertise in the land.

0:02:55 > 0:03:01# 'Til we have built Jerusalem

0:03:01 > 0:03:08# In England's green and pleasant land! #

0:03:08 > 0:03:11We are ready for the Antiques Road Trip!

0:03:11 > 0:03:14I think it's going to be one of those days.

0:03:14 > 0:03:21He's the man who famously turned £8 into over £2,700 with a broken ceramic elephant.

0:03:21 > 0:03:24Consider it bought.

0:03:24 > 0:03:26Two seven for the last time...

0:03:29 > 0:03:33The leaner senior with an eye for the beautiful,

0:03:33 > 0:03:39he's an auctioneer, he loves classic cars and he has quite the singing voice.

0:03:39 > 0:03:41# I'll be in profit afore ye... #

0:03:41 > 0:03:44It's Charlie Ross!

0:03:44 > 0:03:47# High on a hill was a lonely goatherd... #

0:03:48 > 0:03:55And I know what you're thinking - someone's escaped from Thunderbirds. I can't even see his strings!

0:03:55 > 0:03:58- How much is he?- Er...- Priceless!

0:03:58 > 0:04:03He's a fast-rising auctioneer who is never afraid to take risks.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07- 60 quid.- Add £25. - £85?- Yes.

0:04:07 > 0:04:1027.50!

0:04:10 > 0:04:12Awww!

0:04:12 > 0:04:18He's dashing, he's smashing, he puts the CH into Chippendale. He's Charles Hanson!

0:04:18 > 0:04:25Charlie, when you say feminism, you mean a lady wants to be at home and looked after by her husband?

0:04:25 > 0:04:29- That is the exact opposite of feminism!- How do you mean?

0:04:29 > 0:04:32The feminist lady wants to have equal rights with the man.

0:04:32 > 0:04:37The way I see it is it's nice in life to have a lovely meal on the table...

0:04:37 > 0:04:41- Cooked by her?- Absolutely. - Waiting for you?

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Well, this should be very interesting.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47- The one called Charles...- Yes.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50I think he's a total cynic.

0:04:50 > 0:04:56Children brought up correctly by mother, father back in good time...

0:04:56 > 0:05:00- He buys really horrible things.- Yes. - Knowing that somewhere

0:05:00 > 0:05:04some fool is going to pay a huge amount of money for them.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07This is what you want to work with!

0:05:07 > 0:05:12- I like your old-fashioned standards. - And I say God save the Queen!

0:05:12 > 0:05:19It's time for our red-blooded men of antiquity to meet their somewhat more forward-thinking celebrities.

0:05:19 > 0:05:24- Look at this view, Charlie. - What a wonderful place to meet.

0:05:24 > 0:05:29But the day's barely begun and there's a slight technical hitch as usual.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Oh, there they are.- Where? - The experts.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35Look.

0:05:35 > 0:05:39- What's going on here? Hello! - They've broken down.

0:05:39 > 0:05:45- Greetings!- We've thrown ourselves into the idea of an antique purchase by being in an antique.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- Hello, I'm Charlie. - Hi, Charlie. And your Charles.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Clive, good to see you.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55She's run off with a younger man.

0:05:55 > 0:06:01- That's a relationship made in heaven(!)- But we look like two very dodgy people

0:06:01 > 0:06:04with our flashers' Macs!

0:06:04 > 0:06:10- What is this?! - If you were a sophisticated Edwardian industrialist

0:06:10 > 0:06:15- looking after a family, you'd impress your wife with this. - No, you wouldn't!

0:06:15 > 0:06:20- It's supposed to be on a sofa! - It's Art Nouveau! Flowery, like me!

0:06:20 > 0:06:23You're just a prefect at a posh school.

0:06:23 > 0:06:27- You're probably better with an older woman.- I can't wait.

0:06:27 > 0:06:33So let's get our odd couples packed into the Beetle and out on the open road.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36- Let's go to the seaside! - Not yet, Charlie.

0:06:36 > 0:06:40Lancashire kicks off this competitive antiques quest,

0:06:40 > 0:06:45taking in the sights and sounds en route to auction in Northwich.

0:06:45 > 0:06:51First, the celebrity nuclear family heads for glorious Eccleston. Are we there yet, Mum?

0:06:51 > 0:06:56JULIE ANDREWS: # High on a hill was a lonely goatherd

0:06:56 > 0:07:00# Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd... #

0:07:00 > 0:07:04- So we're going shopping?- Yeah! - With 400 quid?- Yeah! Each.

0:07:04 > 0:07:09- Where's the lolly? - Charles and I have got the money.

0:07:09 > 0:07:14On the outskirts of Eccleston, upon rich Lancastrian lands,

0:07:14 > 0:07:22sits the handsome Heskin Hall, built and rebuilt since the 16th century, changing hands many times

0:07:22 > 0:07:28as landed families came together and fell apart. But today it's used as an antiques shop,

0:07:28 > 0:07:33stacked to the rafters and stoically defended by the valiant Lynn Harrison.

0:07:33 > 0:07:37Stand fast, girl. Here comes the cavalry!

0:07:38 > 0:07:42Look! Main entrance is over there, guys.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46- Raring to go, Germaine? - Well, I don't know.

0:07:46 > 0:07:51- Are you feeling the scent of antiques? - They usually smell of Antiquax!

0:07:51 > 0:07:56You might think it dangerous to have our celebrity intelligentsia

0:07:56 > 0:08:00and old-fashioned experts all in one shop and you might be right!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02- Charles?- Yes, Germaine?

0:08:02 > 0:08:05Fortunately, there are two floors.

0:08:05 > 0:08:09Don't ever be put off entirely by the price label.

0:08:09 > 0:08:16- OK.- If some things come right to the dealer or they're fed up with it or they like the cut of your jib,

0:08:16 > 0:08:20- they might sell it to you cheaply. - I've got a very antique jib!

0:08:20 > 0:08:27If we had to find an object that characterised your favourite piece of history, what would it be?

0:08:27 > 0:08:32- Are you a suffragette lady? - The suffragettes specialised in dreadful embroideries.

0:08:32 > 0:08:39- Doesn't that characterise a female? Needlework, embroidery...- I'm in favour of those, but the real thing.

0:08:39 > 0:08:43- The whole Arts and Crafts movement is wrecked by the craft.- How?

0:08:43 > 0:08:48Wonderful buildings with terrible curtains and surface decoration

0:08:48 > 0:08:50and stylised roses.

0:08:51 > 0:08:58- What are these green vases? - Noritake. Japanese. 1920s.- Yes?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01The Chinese are buying all their things back at the moment.

0:09:01 > 0:09:07- How can we rely on there being a lot of Chinamen in the sale? - It doesn't have to be Chinamen.

0:09:07 > 0:09:10It could be an English dealer.

0:09:10 > 0:09:14We're getting ahead of ourselves, gents. First, talk to Lynn.

0:09:14 > 0:09:18- The main thing I've got to do is not to drop things like this.- Yes!

0:09:18 > 0:09:22Have a look at the scenes. They are hand-painted.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24Not brilliant, but not far off.

0:09:24 > 0:09:31- Is anybody going to buy this? - At a price. I would think the estimate would be £10-£15.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35- Right. Well, they're on sale here for £18.- It is not in my nature,

0:09:35 > 0:09:40although Clive will probably disagree, to be rude with offers.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43- I would...- Perish the thought!

0:09:43 > 0:09:46Don't perish it entirely, Lynn. Stand by, girl.

0:09:46 > 0:09:50- I'd like to buy those for eight quid.- Oh, right.

0:09:50 > 0:09:56Obviously we're trying to find something we'd like to buy that allows the prospect of a profit.

0:09:56 > 0:10:02- OK.- And the other thing is if it's reasonably visual... - OK, chaps, you've laid it on thick.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Let Lynn call the dealer and give her some space. Gosh!

0:10:08 > 0:10:15- Oh, dear. All these things are so horrid. This looks like your waistcoat!- I'm a flowery guy!

0:10:15 > 0:10:18- Are you?- But remember...

0:10:18 > 0:10:24This is even pretending to be the base of an Italian candlestick and it isn't even that!

0:10:24 > 0:10:30- No, you're right. It's heavy Baroque, isn't it? - But it's also fake!

0:10:30 > 0:10:36- Aren't there enough of the real ones around? They were stolen out of every Italian church!- Correct.

0:10:36 > 0:10:38Sorry, kid. You're on your own.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43See?

0:10:43 > 0:10:49- I can't see what it is, but there's a slight remnant of hand-tinting on it.- Yeah.

0:10:49 > 0:10:54It's dated here. It should be a print after 1787.

0:10:54 > 0:10:58Ceres was a Roman god representing harvest,

0:10:58 > 0:11:03and depicted here at one with the natural world. And no price tag.

0:11:03 > 0:11:08"She bids the kindly seasons swell the grain and the full harvests load the golden plane."

0:11:08 > 0:11:12It's very sweet, it's sentiment, it's charming.

0:11:12 > 0:11:17It's quite...rococo. I thought your style was more... form matters.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21- You have no idea what my style is! - This is very pretty.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24Best leave it at that, Charles.

0:11:24 > 0:11:28If this was a turtle dove, it would be pink. With a little choker.

0:11:28 > 0:11:33- What bird would you be? - I was about to say...

0:11:33 > 0:11:39- I was about to say a peacock.- Why? - But I don't want to be a peacock. - Why?- They're terrible stupid!

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Anyway, I wonder how much it is.

0:11:44 > 0:11:50- Hi, can I help you? - We'd like to know more about this. - There's no price tag whatsoever.

0:11:50 > 0:11:56- And nothing of the same kind. - Where was it?- In the...- Room at the top of the stairs on this side.

0:11:56 > 0:12:01- In that case, it's a fiver. - It's a fiver.- We'll have it.

0:12:01 > 0:12:06- That's our first purchase. - Blimey, that was easy. Unlike the small talk.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Anyone else breaking the ice?

0:12:09 > 0:12:11It definitely...

0:12:13 > 0:12:16One for the viewers, please.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22That is quite an impressive piece of kit, isn't it?

0:12:22 > 0:12:27- IT WHEEZES A NOTE Are you a musical man? - Not really. Keep squeezing.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30That's what they all say!

0:12:30 > 0:12:34The first bellowed accordions were invented not in Paris, but Berlin,

0:12:34 > 0:12:42in 1822 by Friedrich Buschmann. These charming, popular instruments often were played on street corners.

0:12:42 > 0:12:49It's also said that a gentleman is a man who knows how to play an accordion, but doesn't!

0:12:49 > 0:12:54I think they're great instruments when you hear them played properly.

0:12:54 > 0:12:59- You take your holidays in France? - I do, with my beret. And my onions.

0:12:59 > 0:13:03Pavement cafes and somebody comes round. "Ah, monsieur...

0:13:03 > 0:13:07"I remember people from your country during the war."

0:13:07 > 0:13:11Yes. "Your great-grandfather saved my bacon!"

0:13:11 > 0:13:15"A lot of children in the village look just like you."

0:13:17 > 0:13:22Well, it's been a very good moaning so far, but now it's time for our two brash British airmen

0:13:22 > 0:13:29to go and haggle. Pay attention, Lynn, ze may say zis only once. Oh, ho he ho.

0:13:29 > 0:13:35- Now, Lynn...- Hi! - Can I ask a question about a squeezebox with a funny box?

0:13:35 > 0:13:41- £30, the very best. - That's quite interesting. And the Noritake?- I can do for 10.

0:13:41 > 0:13:46- Well, we should go crazy. Get the Norita...Noritake?- Noritake.

0:13:46 > 0:13:50- Japanese.- I'll get confident with my pronunciation.- Show us the money!

0:13:50 > 0:13:57- Not quite as much as you want to see!- Drat!- But we can show you a good time, Lynn!

0:13:57 > 0:14:04That's quite enough, chaps. You've got the vases for £10, so what'll it be for the accordion?

0:14:04 > 0:14:10- How about £25? Am I now compromising...? - I'd still buy it at 25, at a pinch.

0:14:10 > 0:14:15- Hmm. I'll go for 28. How about that?- I'd go for it.

0:14:15 > 0:14:21I'm desperate to buy something! I don't want to turn up with nothing to sell at this thing!

0:14:21 > 0:14:25- That's 28 for that and 10 for the Noritake.- Yeah.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- Oh, no...- That's 38.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32- Melt into Lynn's arms! - OK, no problem, gents.

0:14:32 > 0:14:3928 and 10. Now I'm a bit like royalty. I don't carry money. I have my man here.

0:14:39 > 0:14:43Mesdames et messieurs, we have a deal

0:14:43 > 0:14:49and our two terribly charming hagglers can leave with their heads held high. And outside Heskin Hall,

0:14:49 > 0:14:52a wonderful surprise awaits.

0:14:52 > 0:14:57- I'm getting quite excited by this. - You have to pull the starter out.

0:14:57 > 0:14:58Ah!

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Oh, what about that?!

0:15:00 > 0:15:03It's a sporty little number, isn't it?

0:15:03 > 0:15:07Meanwhile back inside, we've got unfinished business.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08Oh.

0:15:08 > 0:15:14I'm finding it quite difficult to actually create chemistry with Germaine.

0:15:14 > 0:15:18We have a bond. At the moment, I can't work out her interest,

0:15:18 > 0:15:23- in what she wants, how she wants it.- Spoons...

0:15:23 > 0:15:28But I'm sure as she becomes a lady, I'll become the gentleman and we'll work things out.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32Oh, dear, Charles. You could be out of your depth, old fruit.

0:15:32 > 0:15:38Look at this. I noticed the dragonflies beautifully engraved.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42It's like a squat fruit stand or some sort of fruit bowl.

0:15:42 > 0:15:49- I suspect...it's aesthetic, isn't it?- Turn of the century latest, I think.- Absolutely.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52- You like it, don't you?- Yeah. - That's a good sign.

0:15:52 > 0:15:58If you have a passion for an object, I always say it's a sure sign it will do well at auction.

0:15:58 > 0:16:04- If you could offer something in the order of £15 or £20, £25 at the very most.- I'll feel rubbish.

0:16:04 > 0:16:10- You do that.- Really? - You're the dealer.- Really? - You go and cheapen it.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13- OK, follow me.- All right.

0:16:13 > 0:16:18You're in safe hands, Germaine. If there's one man who can negotiate,

0:16:18 > 0:16:23- then that man is Charles Hanson. Watch out.- Lynn, we quite like this.

0:16:23 > 0:16:28- Well, I do, too. - But we think it's probably been waiting for someone to see it

0:16:28 > 0:16:32- for quite a long time. - I can do it for 35.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35Lynn, look at me.

0:16:36 > 0:16:40- Oh, it just doesn't... - Nor me!- Oh, Lynn, don't say that!

0:16:40 > 0:16:44It just doesn't do it. Not even the waistcoat, no.

0:16:44 > 0:16:50Your powers of charm are clearly failing, Charles, or the waistcoat really is too bright.

0:16:50 > 0:16:54In the cold light of day, at auction it's probably worth £30.

0:16:54 > 0:16:58- So...- Are we going to gamble?

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Well, you know, girl power and all of that...

0:17:01 > 0:17:05I tell you what, for girl power, 25.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09- Oh, thank you! - Thanks, Lynn.- OK.

0:17:09 > 0:17:14What a wonderful first shop! As we bid Heskin Hall farewell,

0:17:14 > 0:17:19I'm confident this smouldering working relationship will soon ignite.

0:17:19 > 0:17:25- Don't you love England? The Empire, the 19th century... - No, I don't think so.

0:17:25 > 0:17:29I actually think colonialism was a significant evil.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Maybe just leave it, Charles, eh?

0:17:32 > 0:17:38Onwards and upwards. Our intellectual heavyweight and Carlos are heading just 6 miles northwest

0:17:38 > 0:17:40to the pretty village of Bretherton.

0:17:40 > 0:17:45Bretherton is a wee place that's just a little bit special.

0:17:45 > 0:17:51Back in 2009 it won the proud title of the best kept small village in Lancashire.

0:17:51 > 0:17:52Wow.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58So let's hope our couple don't disrupt the peace too much.

0:17:58 > 0:18:02Did you have many boyfriends who could keep you happy?

0:18:02 > 0:18:08- That's not what boyfriends do. - But did you?- Boyfriends keep you sad, didn't you know that?

0:18:08 > 0:18:12- Oh, get out of here! Look at us two now, eh?- You're not my boyfriend!

0:18:12 > 0:18:17Let's get these two safely into the shop, shall we?

0:18:19 > 0:18:21You're not a dog, are you?

0:18:21 > 0:18:22No.

0:18:22 > 0:18:24I'm not a dog, either.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26Well...

0:18:26 > 0:18:31And what a shop this is. Capacious, indeed cavernous, and absolutely stuffed.

0:18:31 > 0:18:38Presiding over the place is Aiden. Let's hope he's got the patience of a saint. God bless.

0:18:42 > 0:18:46- Oh, hello. This is a big area.- This is one of the rooms.- Goodness me.

0:18:46 > 0:18:53Charles is a conscientious self-parody. He doesn't mean anything that he says,

0:18:53 > 0:18:55- which is fine. - Jeepers creepers.

0:18:55 > 0:19:01I'm probably quite wrong about him. He'll probably turn out to have some kind of mad passion

0:19:01 > 0:19:06- that I haven't found. - Well, Germaine, if you watch this show enough, you'll find out

0:19:06 > 0:19:10that Charles is full of mad passion. He's a man with hidden depth.

0:19:10 > 0:19:15- Look at this!- I can honestly say I've never seen one of those.

0:19:15 > 0:19:20Everybody's Vacuum Cleaner is what it's called.

0:19:20 > 0:19:24- "It gets the dust".- Patented in 1913, I think.- Wonderful.

0:19:24 > 0:19:29That's the original wooden handle. And the action is by...

0:19:29 > 0:19:33- Sucking.- Could you imagine doing this all day?

0:19:33 > 0:19:37- Do you hoover, for example? - Oh, Charles...!

0:19:37 > 0:19:41- Do you?- Yes, I've got a nasty little machine with eyes on it.

0:19:41 > 0:19:47- Have you?- I taped its eyes shut. - When it comes to domestic bygones, look...

0:19:47 > 0:19:54You've got the vacuum cleaner and this here is titled the Universal Duster.

0:19:54 > 0:19:59Looks like Charles has found a really quirky domestic twinset here.

0:19:59 > 0:20:04Hand-held, pump-action forerunners to today's electric vacuum cleaners.

0:20:04 > 0:20:10- It's sucking my hand a little bit. - The large one at £55 and the little joker for £32.

0:20:10 > 0:20:17- You know, we live in a modern world now, don't we?- Stop preaching! It's getting on my nerves!

0:20:17 > 0:20:21We are equal in everything we do. Do you like this lot?

0:20:21 > 0:20:25- No.- No?- But I think we can sell this lot.- It's commercial.

0:20:26 > 0:20:30- I do as well. - That's a good investment.- It's not.

0:20:30 > 0:20:36- They're rare.- Only if you knocked the price right down will it be a good investment for us.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40Would it be feasible to maybe pay £40 for the two together?

0:20:42 > 0:20:43Oh...

0:20:43 > 0:20:48Sorry, Aiden. Charles is literally never afraid to ask. Look at his face.

0:20:48 > 0:20:54- I'd like you to beat the others so we should come to an amicable agreement.- OK.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57- And the best price...?- £45.- £45?

0:20:57 > 0:21:01No more words. I command you to accept it.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04- Please!- At £45...

0:21:04 > 0:21:08it's wacky, it's novel... and we accept.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12- And it's quirky! - Thank you.

0:21:12 > 0:21:18So a well-considered purchase there. Perhaps Germaine will now start sucking up to Charles.

0:21:18 > 0:21:24Is there anything else out the back or fresh in which might just grab our attention?

0:21:24 > 0:21:30I have bought today earlier on a very, very nice gentleman's travelling chess set.

0:21:30 > 0:21:36It would come in handy on a budget flight. You've got room.

0:21:36 > 0:21:40- Exquisite.- Are you a chess player? - No, I'm not.- Why not?

0:21:40 > 0:21:44- You might be now.- I've never wasted time. I don't play any games.

0:21:44 > 0:21:51That's a shame, Germaine. This is a sweet little Victorian travelling set from around 1885, but at £50

0:21:51 > 0:21:55is it a strategic purchase? Check it out, mate.

0:21:55 > 0:22:00Would you be prepared, for a quick turnaround, £20, done deal?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Sold.- Because you're such a lovely lady...- Ho ho!

0:22:04 > 0:22:08..and I think you'd want something different.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11- Yes.- Superb. Excellent. £20. Yeah, we love it.

0:22:11 > 0:22:17Luckily, there's enough great stock here at the Old Corn Mill that Aiden might not miss

0:22:17 > 0:22:23those rather good bargains. A solid auction arsenal to rival Clive and Charlie, surely.

0:22:24 > 0:22:29If anyone had said to me 20 years ago that I'd be driving around the countryside

0:22:29 > 0:22:35- with the author of The Female Eunuch in an old MG, looking to buy antiques...- In Lancashire.

0:22:35 > 0:22:39In Lancashire. I'd have said, "I don't think that's likely."

0:22:39 > 0:22:44We'd then choose to drive around a bit more later on,

0:22:44 > 0:22:49this time with a smoothie antiques expert. Smoothie antiques expert is your official title, is it?

0:22:49 > 0:22:54- Well, I'm not altogether thrilled with it.- Thrilled or not,

0:22:54 > 0:22:58our smooth operators are taking their road trip into new territory

0:22:58 > 0:23:04for an intellectual rendezvous 38 miles south-east in Greater Manchester, don't you know?

0:23:07 > 0:23:13- How do you get on with your fellow Charles?- Really well.- Yeah. - Really, really well.

0:23:13 > 0:23:19He seems quite young to be... I'm not suggesting that you're not too young to be an antiques expert!

0:23:19 > 0:23:23Charles also has a fine head of hair!

0:23:23 > 0:23:28Now Charlie is taking this great mind, Clive Anderson, to the oldest public library

0:23:28 > 0:23:33in the English-speaking world. Once a place of cerebral study for great historical minds

0:23:33 > 0:23:37such as Benjamin Franklin and Daniel Defoe, don't you know?

0:23:40 > 0:23:43Let's go somewhere quiet after that!

0:23:43 > 0:23:44Ssh!

0:23:45 > 0:23:47First built in 1412,

0:23:47 > 0:23:53this former priests' college became the property of one Humphrey Chetham,

0:23:53 > 0:23:56a 17th-century textile merchant.

0:23:56 > 0:24:01Before his death in 1653, Humphrey bequeathed a trust for a library

0:24:01 > 0:24:07to serve all who sought knowledge to rival the older private libraries of Oxford and Cambridge

0:24:07 > 0:24:10and attract the great minds of the day.

0:24:10 > 0:24:16Today, almost four centuries later, Chetham Library is still open to everyone.

0:24:16 > 0:24:21Librarian Michael Powell is the man to tell us more.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Please ring.- That gives you a clue.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28A nice medieval ringing sound(!)

0:24:28 > 0:24:32- Ah, hello. Clive Anderson. - Come in.- Thank you for having us.

0:24:32 > 0:24:35Suitably antiquated volumes.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39The library's oldest books date back to the 13th century.

0:24:39 > 0:24:45Hand-written manuscripts bound two centuries before the invention of the printing press.

0:24:45 > 0:24:51Today there are over 100,000 books lovingly cared for, yet available to all.

0:24:51 > 0:24:56So people come in here and sit down and look at the books

0:24:56 > 0:25:02- and do you suffer from damage?- No. - Everyone respects it. - It's good in that sense.

0:25:04 > 0:25:09Chetham Library's gorgeous wood-panelled reading room has been a place of quiet contemplation

0:25:09 > 0:25:12for successive historical thinkers.

0:25:12 > 0:25:17However, this room was once the college warden's sleeping quarters

0:25:17 > 0:25:23and in 1595 the new warden was a man with a great mind, full of strange ideas.

0:25:23 > 0:25:30- The little book owned by John Dee. - Oh, the Elizabethan magic man... What do we call him?

0:25:30 > 0:25:35That's right. He's a sort of astrologer and scientist.

0:25:35 > 0:25:42- So he writes John Dee, 1556. These are all his scribbles.- And you know those are his scribbles.

0:25:42 > 0:25:47- That's right.- Not added later. - No, we know what he writes and why.

0:25:47 > 0:25:52- That's fantastic.- He's using it from beginning to end. It's a book on distillation,

0:25:52 > 0:25:56- getting down to essential things. - Was he based in Manchester?

0:25:56 > 0:26:02From the 1590s, the only job he ever had was to come as warden of the collegiate church,

0:26:02 > 0:26:06what's now the cathedral. So this was his bedroom.

0:26:06 > 0:26:13John Dee had retired as advisor and official conjuror in the court of Elizabeth I,

0:26:13 > 0:26:16where he provided the Queen's horoscopes.

0:26:17 > 0:26:22In the 16th century, the world of occult was taken pretty seriously,

0:26:22 > 0:26:29on a par with religion and proper science by some nervous, powerful elites.

0:26:29 > 0:26:34This was a treatise of secret potions and remedies.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38And the main idea of it is that you conjure up the dead.

0:26:38 > 0:26:43It's not a good thing to do it because conjuring up the dead is not really recommended.

0:26:43 > 0:26:49There are certain prayers in here just in case you conjure one up to get them to go back quickly.

0:26:49 > 0:26:50Yeuch!

0:26:50 > 0:26:58Fortunately, Chetham Library evolved as an institution dedicated to sound knowledge and thought.

0:26:58 > 0:27:03As great thinkers came here to study, two thoroughly revolutionary minds developed ideas

0:27:03 > 0:27:06that would change the world.

0:27:06 > 0:27:12This desk in the alcove has the claim to fame in that this was the desk Karl Marx used.

0:27:12 > 0:27:16- Oh, really?- Really?- Marx and Engels were here.- In Manchester.

0:27:16 > 0:27:23- Can I sit down?- By all means. Engels had just studied the condition of the working class in Manchester,

0:27:23 > 0:27:28which was a big attack on capitalists. The poor are being completely downtrodden

0:27:28 > 0:27:34and the rich getting richer. And Marx comes to see what happens in an industrial setting.

0:27:34 > 0:27:38And they came here to sit at this desk and work on economics.

0:27:38 > 0:27:43Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels met in Manchester in 1842

0:27:43 > 0:27:48whilst both men were developing their political and economic ideas.

0:27:48 > 0:27:54They published great works separately, but together wrote the Communist Manifesto,

0:27:54 > 0:28:00a pamphlet that inspired the Russian Revolution and the great political schism of the 20th century.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02So they clearly knew a thing or two.

0:28:03 > 0:28:09As you sit here, you can't help but be struck by the way the whole financial system is imploding

0:28:09 > 0:28:16- and capitalism can't really survive. - Marx was right!- It's the desk making me think that way!

0:28:16 > 0:28:20So Clive and Charlie have had a true encounter with history.

0:28:20 > 0:28:25Radical thinkers and epoch-defining ideas have inhabited these rooms and volumes.

0:28:27 > 0:28:33So as this day draws to an end, our teams can reflect on some tough economic lessons

0:28:33 > 0:28:36learnt the hard way. Night night.

0:28:39 > 0:28:43# Oh, what a beautiful morning

0:28:43 > 0:28:47# Oh, what a beautiful day... #

0:28:47 > 0:28:50What a morning it is!

0:28:51 > 0:28:55I suppose this sort of car was built for these sorts of conditions.

0:28:55 > 0:29:02- I think they're meant to be in the golf club car park.- Yes.- With a lady leaning against the fender.

0:29:02 > 0:29:04Well, I've got you here for that.

0:29:04 > 0:29:09I want to see the whipped cream of an antique with the cherry on top.

0:29:09 > 0:29:14- I'm going to want all these knobbly knick-knacks.- How dare you!

0:29:14 > 0:29:19So far, Clive and Charlie have spent cautiously, just £38 on two items -

0:29:19 > 0:29:23the hand-painted Noritake vases

0:29:23 > 0:29:26and the Art Deco piano accordion.

0:29:26 > 0:29:31So they have a healthy £362 left to spend with confidence.

0:29:32 > 0:29:37This is all going horribly wrong. I feel it's going down the pan.

0:29:37 > 0:29:41Germaine and Charles, meanwhile, have been terribly busy,

0:29:41 > 0:29:43spending £95 on four items -

0:29:43 > 0:29:46the Ceres engraving,

0:29:46 > 0:29:50the Victorian etched glass compote

0:29:50 > 0:29:53and the bygone domestic vacuums,

0:29:53 > 0:29:57plus the travelling chess set for a lady or even a gentleman.

0:29:57 > 0:30:02And so they have £305 to spend on anything they fancy.

0:30:02 > 0:30:07You could always buy this - a little tin celebrating our great King and Queen.

0:30:10 > 0:30:13It's only £4.

0:30:13 > 0:30:20I had a very long, complicated dream about a Volvo which I've never owned and never driven.

0:30:20 > 0:30:24Dreams will have to wait as the auction is but a day away.

0:30:24 > 0:30:30With work to be done though, this road trip leaves Manchester far behind

0:30:30 > 0:30:34to make a bee-line 35 miles north-west to Preston.

0:30:35 > 0:30:40You know, Charlie, when the rains come down on our grey island,

0:30:40 > 0:30:45as the bulbs and flowers and plants grow up,

0:30:45 > 0:30:48antiques are waiting to be discovered.

0:30:48 > 0:30:51They are. Especially here.

0:30:51 > 0:30:56In 1732, the famous Richard Arkwright was born in Preston,

0:30:56 > 0:31:02creator of the defining Arkwright cotton mills of the industrial age.

0:31:02 > 0:31:07Preston changed rapidly and was visited by both Charles Dickens and Karl Marx

0:31:07 > 0:31:09to study the new working classes.

0:31:09 > 0:31:14Today, the epic struggle between celebrity shoppers will leave its mark...

0:31:14 > 0:31:16we hope.

0:31:16 > 0:31:18- They're here already. - They're already here!

0:31:18 > 0:31:20This is it, Charlie.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23- Come on, Charlie.- I'm wet!

0:31:23 > 0:31:29Control yourself. The Preston Antique Centre is a whopper - three floors and 75,000 square feet.

0:31:29 > 0:31:31I kid you not!

0:31:31 > 0:31:36They've even got vintage cars, but don't ask for them gift-wrapped.

0:31:36 > 0:31:39This is a boudoir grand,

0:31:39 > 0:31:43but it is 2,850 nicker!

0:31:43 > 0:31:45Charlie, how are you doing?

0:31:45 > 0:31:50- Greetings! - This is a magnificent emporium. - It's absolutely sensational.

0:31:50 > 0:31:54There can't be an antique left in Preston that isn't here.

0:31:55 > 0:31:59- Isn't that lovely? - That's sweet.- It is sweet.

0:31:59 > 0:32:04- I don't know how old that is, but I would guess about 1840. That's a gut reaction.- 110 is quite a lot.

0:32:04 > 0:32:11- It's too much money.- You see a lot of samplers around.- You do.- They must have done a lot in their time.

0:32:11 > 0:32:14From almost the end of the 17th century,

0:32:14 > 0:32:18needlework samplers formed part of a young British girl's education.

0:32:18 > 0:32:25Most included verse and numerals and were framed and hung for display in proud family homes.

0:32:26 > 0:32:29- If that could be bought for 40, 50 quid, I'd buy that.- OK.

0:32:29 > 0:32:33He's quite handsome, isn't he? Gosh, I like him! Don't you?

0:32:33 > 0:32:36- What's it made of?- He's cast-iron.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39Oh, you know what this is?

0:32:39 > 0:32:44This is not only a pig. This is a special breed of pig.

0:32:44 > 0:32:47Oh, yes, he's a saddleback, a saddleback money-box,

0:32:47 > 0:32:51and currently, he has no price tag. Oink!

0:32:51 > 0:32:58- It's got no genitals. It's a bit of a drawback.- Could it be a female pig - She's got no nipples either.

0:32:58 > 0:33:01Painful! So she's a female eunuch. Look up!

0:33:01 > 0:33:04Here's our lady. He's got no price on whatsoever.

0:33:04 > 0:33:08- And we're going to keep our powder dry.- I like him a lot.

0:33:08 > 0:33:10£30 for an asexual pig?!

0:33:10 > 0:33:15As is her duty, Sue must phone the dealer.

0:33:15 > 0:33:17This I still don't like. I hate that

0:33:17 > 0:33:19He can do it at 50.

0:33:19 > 0:33:24If you want to go to auction with a good-looking pig...

0:33:24 > 0:33:27- That's the pig for you. - ..this is the pig for me.

0:33:27 > 0:33:32- I think at £50, we ought to buy him. - I think so too.- We'll take him.

0:33:32 > 0:33:35And hopefully, pigs might fly.

0:33:35 > 0:33:40In fact, it's time that's flying by on this last shopping day.

0:33:40 > 0:33:43Fortunately, Clive and Charlie have cut to the chase.

0:33:43 > 0:33:46They got that needlework sampler priced at £110

0:33:46 > 0:33:50and a slightly scruffy Edwardian mantel clock at £60.

0:33:50 > 0:33:53Now Clive must get busy haggling.

0:33:53 > 0:33:57I may hand over to my expert negotiator here who's brutal.

0:33:57 > 0:34:00I'd give you whatever you want for this, as you know.

0:34:00 > 0:34:04I think the sampler is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

0:34:04 > 0:34:08I thought your job was to explain why we DON'T want them and how we're trying to walk away.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11And you say, "No, have all three for £20."

0:34:11 > 0:34:15Clive, he won't negotiate, but, boy, can he delegate!

0:34:15 > 0:34:20- What I would say on this one because it's a bit scruffy...- It is scruffy.

0:34:20 > 0:34:23- It's very scruffy.- How about 30?

0:34:23 > 0:34:29I'm trying to get Charlie to allow me to buy this sampler, but he's resisting.

0:34:29 > 0:34:32- Can we go down to 50 for that to persuade him?- We can go down to 50.

0:34:32 > 0:34:34Is that...? Are you sure?

0:34:34 > 0:34:38- 50 plus 30 equals 70, yeah?- Stop it!

0:34:38 > 0:34:44Have you got a machine to test the notes? I would check them out. He's got a bit of previous.

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Come on.

0:34:46 > 0:34:51Well haggled there, Charlie, and Clive, well, thanks for being there, mate.

0:34:51 > 0:34:54What is in here that maybe you quite like

0:34:54 > 0:34:56that I quite like?

0:34:56 > 0:35:00I'm very much afraid it's that horrid lamp.

0:35:00 > 0:35:04Yeah, it is. If we want to dominate the auction,

0:35:04 > 0:35:06this is our prop.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09It's certainly eye-catching and, well, big!

0:35:09 > 0:35:13A colourful ceiling lamp of Moorish design.

0:35:13 > 0:35:17It wouldn't look out of place in a Moroccan souk or a restaurant,

0:35:17 > 0:35:20but here it's got a price tag of £140.

0:35:20 > 0:35:24I'm going to head downstairs and see Sue and ask what the best price is.

0:35:24 > 0:35:28- With your blessing.- Ask her what she'll pay you to take it away.

0:35:28 > 0:35:33Oh, charming! Gosh, these intellectuals are full of suggestions, aren't they?

0:35:33 > 0:35:38They're also a bit, well, off the boil. What's the matter with them?

0:35:38 > 0:35:40I'm a bit sick.

0:35:40 > 0:35:44I've been a bit wet and a bit cold.

0:35:45 > 0:35:49And I can't talk to anybody because I'm crawling with germs.

0:35:49 > 0:35:51I'm just a leper.

0:35:51 > 0:35:54A cold, miserable leper.

0:35:55 > 0:35:57OK, back to the lamp.

0:35:57 > 0:36:00I've got big arms.

0:36:00 > 0:36:05I'm a strong man. I can uplift it and I can give the man some space back.

0:36:05 > 0:36:07- SHE LAUGHS - What's so funny?

0:36:07 > 0:36:10It's just the way you say things, Charles.

0:36:10 > 0:36:16What I said to him before was, "Ask her how much she'll pay you to take it away!"

0:36:16 > 0:36:19Ah, someone's feeling better then?

0:36:19 > 0:36:23You know the lantern, the Moroccan one?

0:36:24 > 0:36:27It cost you 200-odd pounds, did it?

0:36:27 > 0:36:31So you'll only knock about 20 off then?

0:36:31 > 0:36:33They can't buy it at that, you see.

0:36:33 > 0:36:37- I'm sorry.- It sounded so promising at the start.

0:36:37 > 0:36:40- There is one place you could use that.- Where?

0:36:40 > 0:36:42In a garden.

0:36:42 > 0:36:46It's weather-proof, it's wind-proof, it's ventilated.

0:36:46 > 0:36:49I think I might authorise you to spend £120 on it.

0:36:49 > 0:36:53Cor! Has Germaine succumbed to Charles's love of risk?

0:36:53 > 0:36:59Tonight, I'll have the biggest dream that that might just make £200 or £300.

0:36:59 > 0:37:01All right. That's enough.

0:37:01 > 0:37:05- I'll wrap my arms around it and we'll take it for 120. - Thank you, Charles.

0:37:05 > 0:37:09And another peculiar purchase orchestrated by Charles.

0:37:09 > 0:37:13Where can we turn to for a more traditional antique then?

0:37:13 > 0:37:20- That's a bit of Crown Derby which is quintessentially English, but influenced by the Orient.- Right.

0:37:20 > 0:37:26With that Japanese Imari pattern. It would be great to serve little bonbons on.

0:37:26 > 0:37:30- Yes, a bonbon dish. - Yes, a little bonbon dish.

0:37:30 > 0:37:32What's the little bonbon price? 85.

0:37:32 > 0:37:35- That's not ridiculous.- No. - It really isn't if it's perfect.

0:37:35 > 0:37:42Imari is a port in Japan from whence vast quantities of porcelain were exported to Britain.

0:37:42 > 0:37:48Our plucky bone china manufacturers would do their best to imitate these designs.

0:37:48 > 0:37:52Now, we've had the best of Sue today, so let's drag out Paul.

0:37:54 > 0:37:59My view is it would probably sell for the order of £50 at auction.

0:37:59 > 0:38:01What would be your very, very best?

0:38:01 > 0:38:03It would be £40.

0:38:04 > 0:38:07- That is a seriously tempting offer. - Yeah?

0:38:07 > 0:38:13- That's a seriously tempting offer. - I feel I'm deferring to you on this because this attracted your eye.

0:38:13 > 0:38:18- I've got nothing more to say than here's 40 quid. - He's so keen on this.

0:38:18 > 0:38:24- I see a profit in there. I really do Thank you very much indeed. - Thank you.- It's very kind of you.

0:38:24 > 0:38:28Well done. Both our experts bargained hard today

0:38:28 > 0:38:33and our celebrities, well, they just looked pretty, didn't they?

0:38:33 > 0:38:36I'm not bothered about age.

0:38:36 > 0:38:42Without age, we can't call objects antiques or collectables or...

0:38:42 > 0:38:45And you certainly can't call that lamp an antique.

0:38:45 > 0:38:47But it has an iconic look.

0:38:51 > 0:38:55Poor Germaine has not been feeling her best,

0:38:55 > 0:38:59so for a little treat, Charles is taking this fine lady

0:38:59 > 0:39:03away from the pressures of Preston 23 miles east to Rossendale.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06Where are we going?

0:39:06 > 0:39:11Well, somewhere we'll find a glorious testament to Britain's working women and men.

0:39:11 > 0:39:15The Helmshore Mills Textile Museum is a time capsule

0:39:15 > 0:39:18of the beginning and end of the Industrial Revolution.

0:39:18 > 0:39:25Here to fill in the gap is current museum manager, Louise Jacobsson. Hi, Lou-Lou.

0:39:25 > 0:39:30I'm glad you've made it here despite the weather. It does rain a lot in the Rossendale Valley.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33That's why they built the mills here - water power.

0:39:33 > 0:39:39The oldest wool-processing mill was built in 1789 by the prosperous Turner family

0:39:39 > 0:39:43when the Industrial Revolution was only just getting going.

0:39:43 > 0:39:49Local sheep farmers were spinning wool at home and needed somewhere to process their cloth for market,

0:39:49 > 0:39:53but raw textiles were not the only commodity brought to the mill.

0:39:53 > 0:39:57The farmers in the area, it's not the most arable land,

0:39:57 > 0:40:00so they used to usually rear sheep and things like that.

0:40:00 > 0:40:05With the wool, they'd card it, spin it, weave it, so they'd bring the wool cloth in,

0:40:05 > 0:40:11but they'd also bring in the pots of urine from the cottages in the area because stale urine is an alkali.

0:40:11 > 0:40:15Amazingly, the local urine was fermented until rich in ammonia,

0:40:15 > 0:40:20then it could remove the natural oils in the wool, allowing the cloth to be matted.

0:40:20 > 0:40:24You actually got paid different amounts depending on various things.

0:40:24 > 0:40:30They used to say, for instance, that Methodists had better quality urine. They were non-drinkers.

0:40:30 > 0:40:36- Was it by volume as well? Louise, by volume, I'm always best in the morning first thing.- Mm-hm.

0:40:36 > 0:40:40Enough detail, Charles. It's late in the day.

0:40:40 > 0:40:44So once the wool has been soaked in whatever it was soaked in,

0:40:44 > 0:40:47the water-powered hammers would beat it, ready for spinning,

0:40:47 > 0:40:49a fairly simple process.

0:40:49 > 0:40:55Hearing the water behind us and this big water wheel, what was that doing? Going round and...?

0:40:55 > 0:40:59Just powering the machinery. It's powering the hammers.

0:40:59 > 0:41:04- The fulling hammers are beating the cloth.- OK, got you. - Before, they used to walk on them.

0:41:04 > 0:41:10- And beating the cloth for the purpose of...?- This is the thing you're puzzled about.

0:41:10 > 0:41:14- Here is the spun wool which is spun quite simply by doing that.- Right.

0:41:14 > 0:41:19Then that is woven, in this case on quite a small loom,

0:41:19 > 0:41:21and then this is what is fulled.

0:41:21 > 0:41:25- OK.- And that turns it into that stiff, felty stuff.

0:41:25 > 0:41:29- I'm a man, you see. - Yes, but it's men who are doing this

0:41:29 > 0:41:35- They used to do the weaving back in the cottage industry.- Men mechanised the process.- That's more me, I think

0:41:35 > 0:41:38I'm beginning to doubt that, Charles.

0:41:38 > 0:41:43The story of Helmshore Mill takes a dramatic change at the end of the 19th century.

0:41:43 > 0:41:47Canals and railways revolutionised trade.

0:41:47 > 0:41:51Wool declined and cotton became the must-have fabric.

0:41:51 > 0:41:57In the 1920s, a mill refit ushered in the very latest 20th century mechanisation

0:41:57 > 0:42:01to process large amounts with fewer workers.

0:42:01 > 0:42:05Hopefully, it's not too complicated for poor old Carlos.

0:42:05 > 0:42:10This is the spinning floor as it was when it closed down in 1978.

0:42:10 > 0:42:15And what relationship does this machinery have to the spinning jennies?

0:42:15 > 0:42:23Spinning jennies started off with eight, 16, etcetera, you know, improved numbers of spindles.

0:42:23 > 0:42:25The water frame did 96.

0:42:25 > 0:42:28This one has 714 spindles.

0:42:28 > 0:42:35Sadly, this huge, complex machine presented dangers to the mill workers, especially the ladies.

0:42:35 > 0:42:38We've all heard the saying, "Let your hair down."

0:42:38 > 0:42:42Back in the day, one of the common injuries with women was scalping.

0:42:42 > 0:42:48If you didn't have your hair tied up, it could easily get caught up in machinery.

0:42:48 > 0:42:52They had their hair very tightly tied up while they were at work.

0:42:52 > 0:42:56Some of them would even have it tied up with a cloth wrapped around their hair.

0:42:56 > 0:43:01Then when they were on their day off, they would let their hair down.

0:43:01 > 0:43:06The interesting thing I find is that a lot of people who worked in the mills think of it fondly.

0:43:06 > 0:43:11Some of them got horrifically injured while working in mills,

0:43:11 > 0:43:15but they still talk fondly about working in the mills.

0:43:16 > 0:43:19Despite the long hours and the all too real dangers,

0:43:19 > 0:43:23the mills created prosperity and a close community in the area.

0:43:23 > 0:43:29The Helmshore Mill Museum leaves a fantastic historical gift for the nation.

0:43:29 > 0:43:35Many of these mules were two decades old when the floor opened in 1925

0:43:35 > 0:43:39and are still working 25 years after the business closed.

0:43:39 > 0:43:45I wasn't prepared for the beauty of this space, the rhythm of the replication of the machines.

0:43:45 > 0:43:51- Hmm.- I can imagine it being rather hypnotic and rather fantastic Can we see it?- Yes.

0:43:51 > 0:43:53Watch your hair, Germaine!

0:43:54 > 0:43:56Oh, wow!

0:43:56 > 0:43:59Wow!

0:43:59 > 0:44:02So that's obviously the twisting put in.

0:44:03 > 0:44:05And now it's winding on.

0:44:06 > 0:44:08- Amazing.- So elegant.

0:44:09 > 0:44:12It's ingenious, isn't it?

0:44:18 > 0:44:20I love it.

0:44:20 > 0:44:22It's more elegant than I expected.

0:44:22 > 0:44:27It's quite interesting because you have something so delicate coming from something so...

0:44:27 > 0:44:33You're right. It's big, it's industrial. It's that brute force. Clearly, it's big and manly.

0:44:33 > 0:44:35Oh, phooey! Phooey, phooey, phooey!

0:44:35 > 0:44:37Thank you.

0:44:37 > 0:44:41Louise, thank you, and sorry about him.

0:44:41 > 0:44:47Wonderful Helmshore Mill is now another completed chapter in this celebrity road-tripping saga.

0:44:47 > 0:44:51But before we find out who done it in Lancashire,

0:44:51 > 0:44:55let's round up the usual suspects to see who's bought what.

0:44:55 > 0:44:57- Who's going first?- We are.

0:44:57 > 0:44:59Ohh!

0:44:59 > 0:45:05What do you think about this? You squeeze this in and out and play it. It's a piano accordion.

0:45:05 > 0:45:09I know exactly what it is. It's set with gems.

0:45:09 > 0:45:13- Semi-precious.- I think it's... - That's obviously an emerald.

0:45:13 > 0:45:16- More semi than precious! - It cost 28 quid.

0:45:16 > 0:45:21- It didn't?- It did.- You have bought some real objects with a capital A for antiques. I love the sampler.

0:45:21 > 0:45:24- I love the clock. - This box is absolutely charming.

0:45:24 > 0:45:27It certainly is

0:45:27 > 0:45:30and sneaked in at the 11th hour.

0:45:30 > 0:45:36Clive and Charlie secretly picked up this decorative Regency jewel box for a mere £60.

0:45:36 > 0:45:39- Look at those birds!- Yes. - And butterflies.

0:45:39 > 0:45:42- It's a bit revolting. - No, we like that.

0:45:42 > 0:45:45It's almost a memory box. I love it. Don't you, Germaine?

0:45:45 > 0:45:47Um... Hmm.

0:45:47 > 0:45:51Well, you could just say "yes" and be polite, but never mind.

0:45:51 > 0:45:55He's shown you his, Germaine, so now show him yours.

0:45:55 > 0:45:59- OK, here we go.- Yours is an even more bizarre collection.

0:45:59 > 0:46:03This is a saddleback pig and he's made of cast-iron.

0:46:03 > 0:46:06A cast-iron piggy bank? That is fantastic.

0:46:06 > 0:46:11He doesn't seem to be of either sex and when I examined the relevant area...

0:46:11 > 0:46:16- Which you would do. - ..it appeared to have had some sor of obliteration carried out.

0:46:16 > 0:46:20That does happen to farmyard animals quite often.

0:46:20 > 0:46:23And it cost them just £50. What's next?

0:46:23 > 0:46:29This is the sort of thing you buy in a shop, you take it home and think, "Why the hell did I buy that?"

0:46:29 > 0:46:31The patent is 1891.

0:46:31 > 0:46:35I don't think anybody else would have wanted to make one.

0:46:35 > 0:46:37- What does it run off?- Pump action.

0:46:37 > 0:46:40- It runs off woman power.- Exactly.

0:46:40 > 0:46:43These are fine for a museum of domestic...

0:46:43 > 0:46:46- We'll be on the phone. - Domestic Science Museum.

0:46:46 > 0:46:53We'll make sure that a Bygones Museu or the Museum of Female Drudgery can have that and this.

0:46:53 > 0:46:56After that affable, collegiate approach

0:46:56 > 0:47:00to each other's shopping efforts, is there anything left to say candidly?

0:47:00 > 0:47:04- What do you think? - I think we're in the lap of the gods

0:47:04 > 0:47:07I think their lots are strangely boring.

0:47:07 > 0:47:11- We liked one of their things. - We liked the pig.

0:47:11 > 0:47:16The pig is the sort of thing that if I was in a bric-a-brac shop, I might go, "I'd like to buy that."

0:47:16 > 0:47:21- Toss of a coin, who will win? - I think it is a toss of a coin. I think we'll win though.

0:47:21 > 0:47:27In all honesty, do you feel, in our array of objects of art, I've served you well?

0:47:28 > 0:47:31Yes, I think you probably have, you know.

0:47:31 > 0:47:36We all knew... Everybody who looked at the lantern knew that it would have caught your eye.

0:47:36 > 0:47:41And my first instinct was, "No, it's just trash, it's utter rubbish.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44"You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't,"

0:47:44 > 0:47:48and then, "Perhaps you can, perhaps you can."

0:47:53 > 0:47:59It's taken Charles two days, but he's finally managed to charm the lovely Ms Greer.

0:48:01 > 0:48:05It's been a real journey of discovery from Eccleston

0:48:05 > 0:48:09with the passing delights of Preston and Manchester.

0:48:09 > 0:48:11And as Rossendale fades from memory,

0:48:11 > 0:48:14we head 45 miles south to Northwich.

0:48:20 > 0:48:23Quick, Charles, we're late!

0:48:24 > 0:48:27- Good morning. - Good morning. Allow me.

0:48:27 > 0:48:31Clive, we've got five minutes before the auction kicks off.

0:48:31 > 0:48:34- No time for chit-chat.- No time.- OK.

0:48:34 > 0:48:37Come on, across the road. Steady.

0:48:37 > 0:48:40Northwich Auctions is a relatively new kid on the block,

0:48:40 > 0:48:44but valiantly serves the fine folk of Mid-Cheshire.

0:48:44 > 0:48:48Today's auctioneer, Peter Critchley, has had a look at our celebrities' purchases

0:48:48 > 0:48:52and this is what he thinks.

0:48:52 > 0:48:56The Crown Derby, Imari-patterned dis is a nice thing.

0:48:56 > 0:49:00Crown Derby is always very popular and it's stayed fairly valuable.

0:49:00 > 0:49:05The old-fashioned hoovers, hopefully, they didn't pay too much for those.

0:49:05 > 0:49:08I can't see them flying today.

0:49:08 > 0:49:14The accordion is not in the best of condition and they're very, very expensive to repair.

0:49:14 > 0:49:19We sell a fair number of these and we've estimated that at around the £30, £40 mark.

0:49:19 > 0:49:24Some nice items and some rather strange items. The lantern should do well.

0:49:24 > 0:49:28The Moorish lantern is a huge piece and they're still very popular at the moment.

0:49:28 > 0:49:33I would be very disappointed if we don't get well into three figures

0:49:33 > 0:49:36And woe betide you if you don't! There's Germaine behind this.

0:49:36 > 0:49:41Our celebrity teams began with £400 apiece.

0:49:41 > 0:49:45Clive and Charlie spent a brazen £218 on six auction lots.

0:49:46 > 0:49:53But Germaine and Charles spent a less compelling £265 also on six lots.

0:49:53 > 0:49:59But before we can really get going, Clive, does Charlie have news for you?

0:49:59 > 0:50:04- I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like? - I'll start with the bad news.

0:50:04 > 0:50:09- You remember our Noritake vases? - Of course. Yes, prime things, weren't they?

0:50:09 > 0:50:11It is now a Noritake vase.

0:50:11 > 0:50:14Boo-hoo! Broken in transit, sadly.

0:50:14 > 0:50:18And the Road Trip rules allow for a mid-estimate auction price of £70

0:50:18 > 0:50:22to be credited, so it's maybe kind of good news.

0:50:22 > 0:50:26- I'm reasonably happy with that. - Shall we now smash up all our lots?

0:50:26 > 0:50:32Sorry, Clive. The rest you earn the hard way. Sit up straight, everyone. This auction is about to begin.

0:50:32 > 0:50:37First up, one rather lonely Noritake vase seeks a new home.

0:50:37 > 0:50:42Start me at £20? Start the bidding on the Noritake vase at £20, please?

0:50:42 > 0:50:45Start me at £20? £20?

0:50:45 > 0:50:49- £20 bid with the lady. 20 with the lady.- Well done. Well done.

0:50:49 > 0:50:5222? 22. 25? 25. 28?

0:50:52 > 0:50:54- Oh, I say! - 28, sir? No.

0:50:54 > 0:50:58£25 with the lady then. Selling at 25...

0:50:58 > 0:51:02What would a pair make? Not a bad start for Clive and Charlie.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05As promised, the mid-price estimate is going to be credited,

0:51:05 > 0:51:08so a cracking profit to begin with.

0:51:08 > 0:51:12That was the broken one. Now they're selling the one that's intact(!)

0:51:12 > 0:51:17Our new underdogs begin their fightback with the Ceres engravings.

0:51:17 > 0:51:22Start me off at £20? Start me at 20? £20 I have in the room. 20.

0:51:22 > 0:51:26- Well done. Great.- £20 in the room. Maiden bid. Looking for 22.

0:51:26 > 0:51:3022 anywhere? £20 I have and I'm selling. £20...

0:51:30 > 0:51:34Good start for Germaine and Charles, but they must keep up the momentum.

0:51:34 > 0:51:37- Well done.- Are you happy with that? - That's a good return.

0:51:37 > 0:51:40- Don't look so miserable, Germaine. - I'm not miserable.

0:51:40 > 0:51:44Could the pretty Crown Derby bonbon dish be next to do it

0:51:44 > 0:51:46for Clive and Charlie?

0:51:46 > 0:51:4920 I have on the net. Looking for 22 now.

0:51:49 > 0:51:5225 in the room. 28. 28 in the room now. 30 on the net.

0:51:52 > 0:51:56£32 I have in the room. 35 on the net. Thank you, net.

0:51:56 > 0:52:00- Keep going, net! - £38 in the room.

0:52:00 > 0:52:02£38 in the room...

0:52:02 > 0:52:06A bothersome loss, that, but no great shakes for the front-runners.

0:52:06 > 0:52:08Humble apologies. We lost two quid!

0:52:08 > 0:52:12Now, can Germaine's domestic twin set suck up a decent profit?

0:52:12 > 0:52:14Start me off at £30 if you will.

0:52:14 > 0:52:17- Start me at 30?- Come on!- £20 then?

0:52:17 > 0:52:20£20 bid. Thank you, sir. 22 in the room.

0:52:20 > 0:52:2325? 25. 28? 28. 30.

0:52:23 > 0:52:2632? 32. 35.

0:52:26 > 0:52:2938. 40?

0:52:29 > 0:52:33- £38. £38 the bid and selling... - You don't need any electricity.

0:52:33 > 0:52:38I hope we're not in for a night of small, wounding losses. This could be a long one.

0:52:38 > 0:52:40That's disappointing.

0:52:40 > 0:52:44Let's fire up the bidders with Clive and Charlie's jewellery box.

0:52:44 > 0:52:47Start me at 20? At 20 in the door.

0:52:47 > 0:52:5022 on the net. 25, sir? 25 bid.

0:52:50 > 0:52:5328 on the net. 30?

0:52:53 > 0:52:55£30. 30 in the room. 32.

0:52:55 > 0:53:00£30 bid in the room. £30 in the room... Sold.

0:53:00 > 0:53:02Gosh! That's going to hurt.

0:53:02 > 0:53:05Clive and Charlie's early lead is fast slipping away.

0:53:05 > 0:53:07I can't bear it!

0:53:08 > 0:53:13Could the underdogs get their day with the saddleback money-box?

0:53:13 > 0:53:16- Start the bidding off at £40. Start me at £40.- Oh, yes.

0:53:16 > 0:53:20- Come on, let's go!- Who's got 42 now? Give me 42. 45.

0:53:20 > 0:53:2348. It's still very cheap.

0:53:23 > 0:53:27You get loads and loads of money in it. It might be full! £65 bid.

0:53:27 > 0:53:3170. £70. £75 bid on the front then. Any further interest?

0:53:31 > 0:53:35£75 is the bid and selling at 75...

0:53:35 > 0:53:38Fantastic profit. It's a porker!

0:53:38 > 0:53:41- That was a good item. - Splendid effort.

0:53:41 > 0:53:45As Team Anderson's needlework sampler awaits the bidders.

0:53:45 > 0:53:49- Good quality sampler. Start me at £50?- This is a lovely sampler.

0:53:49 > 0:53:53Start me at 40 then? 40 we have in the room.

0:53:53 > 0:53:57- 40 in the room.- It's going downwards It's a Dutch auction.

0:53:57 > 0:54:02£42? Got to be worth more than that, surely. £40 only bid. 42 anywhere?

0:54:02 > 0:54:06£40 the bid then. Selling at £40...

0:54:06 > 0:54:08Oops! £10 down on that one.

0:54:08 > 0:54:11That sampler, we were stitched up!

0:54:11 > 0:54:16He's got a good sense of humour. Now the travelling chess set.

0:54:16 > 0:54:19Start the bidding at £30? Start me at £30?

0:54:19 > 0:54:2330 bid there. 30 in the room. Looking for 32 now. Who's got £32?

0:54:23 > 0:54:2630 I'm bid in the room. Looking for 32. 32 in the cage.

0:54:26 > 0:54:2935. 38. 40. 42.

0:54:29 > 0:54:3145. 48. 50.

0:54:31 > 0:54:3455? £50 in the room. £50 in the room

0:54:34 > 0:54:38Looking for £55 now. £50...

0:54:38 > 0:54:42Fantastic. Germaine and Charles are firmly on the up.

0:54:42 > 0:54:45- Superb.- Well done.- Superb, Charles.

0:54:45 > 0:54:47Can we bear the weight of expectation

0:54:47 > 0:54:51as the chaps' piano accordion tunes up for auction?

0:54:51 > 0:54:54£40 for the piano accordion? Give me £30 then?

0:54:54 > 0:54:58£30? 30 bid. Have we got 32? 32 bid.

0:54:58 > 0:55:0035. 38.

0:55:00 > 0:55:0240...? £38 the bid then.

0:55:02 > 0:55:05Selling at 38...

0:55:05 > 0:55:10That hit the right note. Finally, a profit for Clive and Charlie.

0:55:10 > 0:55:12A profit, but I was expecting more.

0:55:13 > 0:55:17Still flying high though, the happy couple's glass compote next.

0:55:17 > 0:55:20Start me at £20. 20 bid with the lady there...

0:55:20 > 0:55:22It's estimated at 80 to 120!

0:55:22 > 0:55:2625, madam? 25. 25. 28? 28. 30.

0:55:26 > 0:55:28- You're rough players, you two. - We are.

0:55:28 > 0:55:3138. 40. 42...

0:55:31 > 0:55:33- Look at this!- Really rare.

0:55:33 > 0:55:35- It's really rare.- 50. 50.

0:55:35 > 0:55:3955? 55 with the lady...

0:55:39 > 0:55:42Another chapter in this success story!

0:55:42 > 0:55:45Now time for Clive and Charlie's last hope.

0:55:45 > 0:55:49Edwardian mahogany and marquetry-inlaid mantel clock.

0:55:49 > 0:55:51- Super clock.- It works. - Start me at £40?

0:55:51 > 0:55:55- It's a super clock. £40 I have. - Well done.- 42 on the net. 45?

0:55:55 > 0:55:58- 45 in the room. 48. 50?- Excellent.

0:55:58 > 0:56:0150 in the room. 55.

0:56:01 > 0:56:0360 in the room. 65 on the net.

0:56:03 > 0:56:0570? 70 in the room. 75.

0:56:05 > 0:56:0880 in the room. 85 on the net.

0:56:08 > 0:56:13Who's got 90? £85 it is on the net then. £85...

0:56:13 > 0:56:15Very well done, gentlemen.

0:56:15 > 0:56:18That great profit has somewhat turned the tables.

0:56:18 > 0:56:21- Half the reputation's back!- Yes.

0:56:21 > 0:56:24So all the pressure is now on Germaine's risky Moorish lantern.

0:56:24 > 0:56:27Can it deliver on Charles's promise?

0:56:27 > 0:56:31I've got £80 bid. 80 bid. 85? 85 over there.

0:56:31 > 0:56:3485 over there. 85. CHEERING

0:56:34 > 0:56:3690? 90? 90 bid.

0:56:36 > 0:56:41Could be a fight in the corner. 95. 95 with the gentleman.

0:56:41 > 0:56:45£100? £100 with the lady. 110?

0:56:45 > 0:56:49110, no. £100 then with the lady. £100. No-one got 110?

0:56:49 > 0:56:52It's a super thing. £100 with the lady...

0:56:52 > 0:56:56Sadly, that loss has also lost the auction for our duo.

0:56:56 > 0:57:02- Not too bad.- You got something for it. I thought you were taking it home, so I think that was all right.

0:57:04 > 0:57:08Our celebrity teams began with £400 each.

0:57:09 > 0:57:14Germaine and Charles bought well and fought hard to make a decent profit.

0:57:15 > 0:57:22Our First Lady of Letters and her young man finished their trip with £412.16.

0:57:23 > 0:57:26But Clive and Charlie had Lady Luck on their side

0:57:26 > 0:57:28to make a more healthy sum.

0:57:28 > 0:57:34They end this road trip with a thoroughly pleasant £428.82.

0:57:35 > 0:57:39Small profits, but profits nonetheless.

0:57:39 > 0:57:42And all those profits will go to Children In Need.

0:57:42 > 0:57:44Thank goodness!

0:57:44 > 0:57:48- Very, very close.- Yes. - It's too close, really.

0:57:48 > 0:57:52We've made a profit, both of us, and the whole thing has hinged

0:57:52 > 0:57:56on the delightful fact that they dropped one of our Noritake vases.

0:57:56 > 0:57:59That was the best thing we did!

0:57:59 > 0:58:04This is your tactic? You buy something fairly fragile and hope it breaks in some way!

0:58:04 > 0:58:09Thank you, Charles. I'm just pleased that I didn't choose too badly.

0:58:09 > 0:58:14- You did not.- Germaine, you were a great expert. You're coming with me.- Oh, no!- Bye.- Bye.

0:58:14 > 0:58:16- Well done. - Bye-bye.

0:58:16 > 0:58:19Well done for taking care of my old mate.

0:58:20 > 0:58:23Goodbye, Germaine. Goodbye!

0:58:23 > 0:58:25Bye!

0:58:25 > 0:58:28Charlie, I sometimes go to bed and dream about you.

0:58:28 > 0:58:33There's a weeping ash. I grew a weeping ash and it "un-weeped".

0:58:33 > 0:58:36It cheered up? It cheered up with you?

0:59:00 > 0:59:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd