Episode 14

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07- Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.- That's the pig for you. - This is the pig for me.

0:00:07 > 0:00:12- One antiques expert each. - Celebrities!- Shake his hand. He's got the money!

0:00:12 > 0:00:18And one big challenge - who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

0:00:18 > 0:00:22- I love it.- Right. - I would buy it myself.

0:00:22 > 0:00:25..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

0:00:25 > 0:00:27Well done, well done.

0:00:27 > 0:00:31Who will spot the good investments, who will listen to advice?

0:00:31 > 0:00:33- It goes with your eyes.- Does it?

0:00:33 > 0:00:38And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

0:00:38 > 0:00:42Time to put your pedal to the metal.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48Yeah!

0:00:48 > 0:00:51ENGINE REVS

0:00:51 > 0:00:57Welcome to the wonderful Isle of Wight, three miles south of mainland Britain,

0:00:57 > 0:01:00population 150,000 people,

0:01:00 > 0:01:04and now the arena for two celebrities with £400 each

0:01:04 > 0:01:08to speculate on the best available antiques.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10# You can go your own way... #

0:01:10 > 0:01:15From stage and screen, we have a pair of firm pals.

0:01:15 > 0:01:18I am quietly confident that I am going to beat you.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Do you know what? I would prefer it if you won.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26Born right here on the isle,

0:01:26 > 0:01:31she's graced our screens in comedies and tragedies for many, many years.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34She is the First Lady of Drama.

0:01:34 > 0:01:37- She is Sheila Hancock. - A lady's prerogative.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40And she's brought her best friend along.

0:01:41 > 0:01:47Hailing from the land of the Danes before she footlighted into the world of comedy...

0:01:47 > 0:01:49LAUGHTER

0:01:52 > 0:01:56- Tonight, we have a section marked "big books".- TV presenter, novelist,

0:01:56 > 0:02:02conversationalist and bon viveur, she's also found time for competitive shopping.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04She's Sandi Toksvig.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Why, it's tantamount to cheating!

0:02:08 > 0:02:15- See that coffee house that's called Vectis?- Yeah.- That's the original name of the Isle of Wight.- Is it?

0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Yeah.- How did it become Wight?

0:02:17 > 0:02:22It's one of those things that's very slightly lost in the mists of time and my fault entirely,

0:02:22 > 0:02:24but the Danes invaded many times.

0:02:24 > 0:02:28That was quite a long way round from Denmark to come down here?

0:02:28 > 0:02:32I know. Whenever I come to the Isle of Wight, I feel I should apologise.

0:02:32 > 0:02:36- You can apologise to me because I was born here.- I'm terribly sorry.

0:02:38 > 0:02:44Now, whilst our celebrities can enjoy their suave, 1972 Triumph TR6,

0:02:44 > 0:02:48they simply cannot go antique shopping all by themselves.

0:02:48 > 0:02:53Now let's run through the qualities you are looking for in your antiques expert.

0:02:53 > 0:02:59- In my antiques expert?- Fantastically dashing.- Beautiful.- Staggeringly good-looking.- Very elegant.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02- With a sense of style.- Oh, dear.

0:03:04 > 0:03:08Sheila and Sandi really deserve the finest expertise in the land,

0:03:08 > 0:03:10but it was rather short notice.

0:03:10 > 0:03:14- I said I never wanted to work with you ever again. - Why?- You're horrid to me.

0:03:14 > 0:03:17- I love you immensely. - That's beginning to worry me.

0:03:17 > 0:03:22I've seen them both on the telly, but I can't remember which one is the best.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24Take your foot off the brake, you silly fool!

0:03:24 > 0:03:32Once one of the youngest qualified valuers in the land, he began his esteemed career back in 19...

0:03:32 > 0:03:35Well, it was a long time ago.

0:03:37 > 0:03:41He's an antiques valuer, he's a serious negotiator,

0:03:41 > 0:03:44he's the man in the pink, he's David Barby.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47And I know what you're thinking.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51Who's the dashing, stylish man about town?

0:03:52 > 0:03:56He's moved seamlessly from cattle trading to auctioneering.

0:03:56 > 0:04:00He has a fine mind, he has a keen eye. He has very forgiving trousers.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03He's Philip Serrell.

0:04:05 > 0:04:11What I find extraordinary with somebody such as the status of Sheila Hancock

0:04:11 > 0:04:16- who actually appeared with Bette Davis in a film called The Anniversary...- Really?

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Did you not know that? - No. It's more your era.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22And I like Sandi because of her radio shows.

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Do you not call it the wireless?

0:04:26 > 0:04:30David and Philip have brought along their cute 1960 Morris Minor

0:04:30 > 0:04:35to help impress a pair of pretty special ladies.

0:04:36 > 0:04:42- Sandi or Sheila?- I think Sheila likes fast sports cars and so do you.

0:04:42 > 0:04:46I'm like a coiled spring at the minute. I'm having a job just to belt myself in.

0:04:46 > 0:04:48Here they are.

0:04:48 > 0:04:50Gentlemen!

0:04:50 > 0:04:53- How are you?- All right. - A little warm.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57- What took you so long? - Mostly first gear.

0:04:57 > 0:04:59- Sandi.- Hello, Sandi.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01- Hello, Sheila. - Hello.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03I recognise you from so many things.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Have you decided who you want to...? - No, we'll let you decide.- Sheila?

0:05:09 > 0:05:12I can't. I really can't. Shall we toss?

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Do you know? There are so many answers to that.

0:05:15 > 0:05:19- I tell you what. You shout, you get the choice.- All right.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21- Heads.- You've got the choice.

0:05:21 > 0:05:25- I will choose this gentleman on my right.- Oh!

0:05:25 > 0:05:31- Good luck.- See you there.- May the best person win. Is that the right thing to say?- I just hope we do.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33See you later.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38Our celebrities have £400 each and it's time to get rummaging.

0:05:40 > 0:05:45The Isle of Wight provides a fertile antiques hunting ground, hopefully,

0:05:45 > 0:05:48before heading to auction in Tunbridge Wells.

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Today's frolics get going in sunny Newport.

0:05:51 > 0:05:55- I want to know what you're looking for.- Honestly, I don't know.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00- Where are your interests? - Well, I have very Scandinavian tastes, I would say.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04- So I don't like anything that's too ornate.- Too fussy.

0:06:04 > 0:06:10We'll let them do all the running around and we'll just take this in a very chilled, quiet, sedate manner.

0:06:10 > 0:06:13- Yeah, but we've got to win. - Let's get on with it then.

0:06:13 > 0:06:15I've got to beat Sandi!

0:06:15 > 0:06:22- I don't like weapons.- I don't either. Killing things.- I hate that sort of thing.- Let's not have that.

0:06:22 > 0:06:27She was doing all this thing about, "I'm not competitive. I don't like competition.

0:06:27 > 0:06:31"I like everybody to be equal," and all that. You wait, you wait!

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Competitive Sheila has found the first shop of the day.

0:06:39 > 0:06:44Welcome to Newport's very own Minstrels On The Hill

0:06:44 > 0:06:47with charming proprietor Jo in attendance.

0:06:47 > 0:06:51But will celebrity or expert be making the decisions here?

0:06:51 > 0:06:53What about period clothes?

0:06:53 > 0:06:56Oh, this is a Mary Quant hat.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59- That's cool, isn't it? - Mary Quant, '60s.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Now, that is interesting. - It is, isn't it? How much is that?

0:07:03 > 0:07:05That is... How much is this?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Mary Quant, £45.

0:07:09 > 0:07:14- What do you think?- The fact that it's got the Mary Quant label in it...- You haven't said how I look.

0:07:14 > 0:07:19Arguably one of the big three designers of the 1960s fashion,

0:07:19 > 0:07:23alongside Christian Dior and Chanel,

0:07:23 > 0:07:28Mary Quant is pretty famous for giving us both mini-skirts and hot-pants.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30Thank you, Mary.

0:07:30 > 0:07:36However, this slightly more innocent straw hat dates from around the 1970s.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39I love it. I would buy it myself.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Let's have a definite "yes" on that,

0:07:41 > 0:07:45but let's go and have a look round and we'll think about whether...

0:07:45 > 0:07:48You've got loads of clothes in here.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52While Philip gets hot under the collar, David has gone a bit red in the face.

0:07:52 > 0:07:56Darling, you do look a bit burnt. I hope this isn't going to hurt.

0:07:56 > 0:08:01- Did that hurt you?- Oh... It's better now.- Oh, darling!- Thank you.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04That's lovely. You've got such a gentle touch, actually.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09When Sandi's wiped David's head, she can drag him round the Cowshed...

0:08:11 > 0:08:15..a vast antiques ranch on the edge of town.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19All right. Now, here's some odds and sods.

0:08:20 > 0:08:24This is Cowshed 1. You've got Cowshed 2 to go into yet.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28And there's another shop next door, but I'll let you find that yourself.

0:08:28 > 0:08:32- See, now, I like that. That toy. - I do as well.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36- I think it's rather beautiful. - I think that's quite good. Let's have a look.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40It's £85. "A vintage crane." I think it's quite nice.

0:08:40 > 0:08:44I'm not certain whether in fact it is a "toy" toy.

0:08:44 > 0:08:48Could I just remove my finger before you turn it?

0:08:48 > 0:08:52Have you got it? Are you all right there, darling?

0:08:52 > 0:08:55- Oh, wait a minute. There's a ratchet on it.- Oh!

0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oh, it's splendid.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Right, I think this is a winner.

0:08:59 > 0:09:04That is the sort of thing somebody would have as a talking point in their minimalist flat.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08- That's quite good.- Do you like that? - I do.- Yeah, I do too.

0:09:08 > 0:09:12- We concur. I think that's quite good. I like it.- That's excellent.- Right.

0:09:12 > 0:09:18- Time to bring Richard into this conversation.- What's the very best you can do on that?

0:09:18 > 0:09:20- It's on at...?- 85.- 85.

0:09:20 > 0:09:25The best on that one, I think we're looking at about £60 on that.

0:09:25 > 0:09:31- That much?- Oh, yes. - Could you just sort of nudge it? We'd like to pay around 45 for it.

0:09:31 > 0:09:36It's been here for a little while, so I think we could probably agree on that and do it for 45.

0:09:36 > 0:09:42- Brilliant.- What do you think? - I say it's sold.- Richard, would you shake Sandi's hand?- Certainly.

0:09:42 > 0:09:44Shake his hand. He's got the money!

0:09:44 > 0:09:46Oh, yes!

0:09:46 > 0:09:48Lovely.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Did we agree on 40?

0:09:52 > 0:09:54It was, wasn't it?

0:09:54 > 0:09:56For you, we'll do it for 40.

0:09:57 > 0:10:02Sorry, Richard. David never knows when to stop. Naughty boy!

0:10:02 > 0:10:04That's lovely. Thank you.

0:10:06 > 0:10:11- Is this an antique or is this modern?- It is modern.- It is modern.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14- But, but, but, but, but!- "But"?

0:10:14 > 0:10:19- Why should it put us off? I think we should buy this and the Mary Quant hat.- Is that all I'm allowed?- Yeah.

0:10:19 > 0:10:24- What about this furry coat?- People don't like that.- No?- No, no, no.

0:10:24 > 0:10:30- It's not bad if you wore black trousers.- I'll let you buy that, but you've got to model it.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32- At the auction.- Oh, really?

0:10:32 > 0:10:38It might get a bit hot! Well, so far, Sheila has led Philip to a '70s hat,

0:10:38 > 0:10:41a brand-new bag and a faux fur coat. Great(!)

0:10:41 > 0:10:48For some genuine antique shopping, we need to stick with keen-eyed Sandi and tough-talking Barby.

0:10:48 > 0:10:52- Oh! - SANDI LAUGHS

0:10:52 > 0:10:56- LOUD METALLIC BANGING - It's just on the edge of irritating.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Just close to irritating.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Oh, that's nice.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05- Oh, I like that.- That is nice.

0:11:05 > 0:11:09- That's the sort of distressed look people long for, don't they?- Yeah.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12And the other thing I liked as I came through...

0:11:12 > 0:11:14BANGING RESUMES Oh!

0:11:14 > 0:11:16SANDI LAUGHS

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Don't move.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24- BANGING STOPS - Don't move. Talk, but don't move.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26I want to go and ask the price of the chest.

0:11:26 > 0:11:29- OK, you move first.- Yes.- But gently.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Quietly.

0:11:35 > 0:11:38- BANGING STARTS - Oh, for goodness sake!

0:11:38 > 0:11:42Clearly, this chap is some kind of hard-haggling, early warning system,

0:11:42 > 0:11:46protecting a rather attractive, mid-19th century pine chest.

0:11:46 > 0:11:51Perhaps Richard can tell our suspicious shoppers where the bottom line is.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53Where's the bottom line then?

0:11:53 > 0:11:56- What are we on?- 215.

0:11:57 > 0:11:58Hmm...

0:11:58 > 0:12:04Do you want the very best price or "you want to haggle with me for a while" price?

0:12:04 > 0:12:08- No, let's just cut to the chase. - No, I'd rather be quite honest.

0:12:08 > 0:12:13- A hundred...- A hundred pounds sounds good.- A hundred and fifty. - A hundred pounds sounds good.

0:12:13 > 0:12:17- £100 and I won't eat tonight. - Accommodate us.

0:12:17 > 0:12:20I think 150 is too much for an auction.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23Um...

0:12:23 > 0:12:28I can't really do... 140 would be, you know... And I'm losing money on that.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31Shall I discuss it with my business partner?

0:12:33 > 0:12:38It's the sort of thing I would like to buy, but at auction I wouldn't pay more than £200 for it.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42That's a £60 profit, of which you've got to pay...?

0:12:42 > 0:12:46- Of that you've got to pay... - 20%.- 40. £40.- Right.

0:12:47 > 0:12:50- So...- So that leaves you with a £20 profit.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54No, we're walking. Come. Come with me, David. Come with me.

0:13:01 > 0:13:06Wow! I never thought I'd see David walk away from a tricky negotiation.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Or is it all part of today's game plan?

0:13:11 > 0:13:13Have you had it long?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16No, it's just a personal sort of thing that we decide to sell.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Can we have a deal here?

0:13:18 > 0:13:24- Right.- You can buy three lots of clothing that will be one lot in the auction.- OK.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27- Can I buy the chess set? - On my ticket?- Our ticket.

0:13:27 > 0:13:32- Yes, I'm relying on you. Are all the bits there? - I think there's some damage there.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34Damage? Philip!

0:13:34 > 0:13:41Amazingly, Thomas Jaques began his games company way back in 1795

0:13:41 > 0:13:44and it's still run by the Jaques family today.

0:13:44 > 0:13:52These familiar-shaped playing pieces originate from the Staunton set, first produced in 1849.

0:13:52 > 0:13:56I always like the knights, me. Time for some strategic play, I feel.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58All right, you can have that then.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01What's the best you can do that for?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04The best on that is going to be, um...

0:14:05 > 0:14:0638.

0:14:06 > 0:14:13- 35?- At an absolute push. - OK.- But we're going to buy some other things as well.- OK.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15- Hat, bag and this.- Spot-on.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17Right, that's on for 35.

0:14:17 > 0:14:22Would you take that down to 30 because it's really bad repair?

0:14:22 > 0:14:25- We can do that for 30 for you. - All right then.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- How much is this then? - We've got 45 on the hat.

0:14:29 > 0:14:36The absolute, total best I could do on that would be...34.

0:14:36 > 0:14:39- That's 64 we've got to, is it?- Yeah.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41Can we get a free bag?

0:14:41 > 0:14:44- You can have a free bag, with pleasure.- All right.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47- That's £64 and a free bag.- Lovely. - I think that's top dollar.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- Shall I pay the lady?- Yes, please.

0:14:50 > 0:14:56Good work. £35 for the chess set and £64 for the fashionable threesome.

0:14:56 > 0:15:00Haven't Sheila and Philip done terribly well?

0:15:00 > 0:15:06- Top job. I'm delighted. - I hope you're right about that. - I'll either be right or be wrong!

0:15:06 > 0:15:10Sandi and David will now need to watch their ba... Oh, hang on.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15One, two...

0:15:17 > 0:15:19..three...

0:15:20 > 0:15:22..four...

0:15:24 > 0:15:28- ..five.- Wonderful. - Looks like someone persevered.

0:15:28 > 0:15:34- To get that pine chest for just £100 - what a rogue!- Have a good day.- Thank you very much.

0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Don't forget the suntan lotion.- No!

0:15:37 > 0:15:43Now let's leave town before there's any more ungentlemanly behaviour.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, it is a ford!

0:15:45 > 0:15:50Ah! We daren't go across there, surely.

0:15:51 > 0:15:57- Right.- Are you going to have a paddle?- I've read too many things about satnav!- Is it cold?

0:16:00 > 0:16:04- I hope there's no crocodiles. - Don't be ridiculous, Sheila!- Oh!

0:16:04 > 0:16:10- Are you all right?- Although perhaps you'd be less ridiculous if you get back in the car, love.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13- I'll have wet feet.- Webbed feet!

0:16:13 > 0:16:17Whilst brave Philip recalculates the route,

0:16:17 > 0:16:20the Road Trip is already moving on.

0:16:22 > 0:16:25I thought it was right.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29- No, I said "right" meaning, "Let's go."- Oh!

0:16:32 > 0:16:38Slipping southwards a full nine miles, our celebrity teams bid Newport farewell

0:16:38 > 0:16:42to find more treasures in the pretty village of Chale.

0:16:51 > 0:16:53Oh, hello.

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Are you friendly? You look friendly.

0:16:56 > 0:17:00- Hello, yes.- Ahh! Isn't Buckley cute?

0:17:00 > 0:17:03- Um, we have got work to do, Sandi. - Oh, sorry.

0:17:03 > 0:17:10- So sorry.- Did you offer to kiss me like that? No. Just the dog. - You never patted me like that.- True.

0:17:10 > 0:17:15He wanted a lick. Sandi and David have found another sprawling antiques ranch

0:17:15 > 0:17:20with several sheds, two chickens, one dog, one horse and man called Mike.

0:17:20 > 0:17:27- Oh, my goodness me!- Wow.- It's almost bordering on conceptual art. I think it's you.- Very good condition.

0:17:27 > 0:17:29- #- Close in your arms

0:17:29 > 0:17:33- #- When they enfold me Sweet are the charms...- #

0:17:33 > 0:17:37- What's the mirror?- Well spotted. It's an original.- Yeah.

0:17:37 > 0:17:40Well, it is quite...something.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Yes. It's too much at that.

0:17:43 > 0:17:49- What's the very best you can do on this, please? - At a squeeze...

0:17:49 > 0:17:51It's a good piece. 100.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54I've got to feed the horses.

0:17:55 > 0:17:59- Chickens. Don't forget the chickens. - And the dog.- And the dog.

0:17:59 > 0:18:04- You couldn't come less than 80? - Are you making a firm offer?- Yes.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07- Of?- 80.- I'm not going to argue.

0:18:07 > 0:18:12£80 ain't bad for a fine piece of repousse Arts and Crafts copper.

0:18:12 > 0:18:16This is quite likely from the Newlyn School,

0:18:16 > 0:18:21emanating and dating from late 19th century Newlyn in Cornwall.

0:18:21 > 0:18:28That's very different from anything else we've got. It's not my taste, but I think it'll do very well.

0:18:28 > 0:18:34- I concur with your taste, which I've always considered excellent. - I chose you, didn't I?

0:18:34 > 0:18:39Good heavens! Someone please rescue us from this awful loveliness.

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Hello, Mr Dog.

0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Hello, Dog. Go on in, my dear. - Right.

0:18:46 > 0:18:47Hello.

0:18:47 > 0:18:52- Bloody hell. Have you found anything?- No. Nothing for us.

0:18:52 > 0:18:56Oh, you...you are such a bad actress, Sandi!

0:18:56 > 0:19:02You have obviously bought something in here! Obviously! LAUGHTER

0:19:02 > 0:19:04Who knew?

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Go and listen to what they're saying!

0:19:07 > 0:19:11- That man's following me, David. - Everywhere we go!- Fat man?

0:19:11 > 0:19:13- No, THAT man.- Thank you.

0:19:13 > 0:19:20- I just wanted to clarify how personal it was getting.- No, no. ..That fat man was following me!

0:19:21 > 0:19:28They're definitely buying something in there. I can't believe that they've actually found something.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Pants. Utter pants.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33Bye, Barbs!

0:19:34 > 0:19:41Unable to find their next investment, Philip has opted instead to give Sheila a little treat.

0:19:41 > 0:19:45So long, Chale, and hello, the open road!

0:19:46 > 0:19:52This time switching north by north-east, a full 16 miles up the road to Ryde.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Nice!

0:19:55 > 0:20:01When you get a script come through with 100 pages or 500 pages, do you ever find it just daunting?

0:20:01 > 0:20:06You have to sit down for hours and hours and hours and learn the lines.

0:20:06 > 0:20:11The scary thing is that when you stand in the wings,

0:20:11 > 0:20:15- the only tool that you have are words.- Yes.

0:20:15 > 0:20:21And you go on that stage hoping to God they'll come out of your head in the right order

0:20:21 > 0:20:25and often they don't. You make mistakes.

0:20:25 > 0:20:31In the 19th century, the villages of Upper and Lower Ryde were joined

0:20:31 > 0:20:36to form this fabulous seaside town. Today, Sheila and Philip have a ticket to Ryde

0:20:36 > 0:20:39via the rest of the world.

0:20:39 > 0:20:45I used to teach geography - not very well. I saved a whole generation of children by getting out.

0:20:45 > 0:20:51- But...- Is this it?- Yeah. Maps and globes have always fascinated me.

0:20:53 > 0:21:00Relocated here in 1991, Greaves and Thomas have been reviving the art of globe making,

0:21:00 > 0:21:06now the only company of its kind in Britain and the only one in the world to recreate historical globes.

0:21:11 > 0:21:17G&T - ha! - sell their marvellous spheres all over the world to hotels, museums and universities,

0:21:17 > 0:21:21even to the Library of Congress in Washington, DC.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Hi!

0:21:23 > 0:21:29Owner James Bissell-Thomas has kindly offered to give Sheila and Philip the full tour.

0:21:29 > 0:21:32A sort of global view.

0:21:32 > 0:21:37- When did they start making globes? When was the earliest?- They say the Greeks were first,

0:21:37 > 0:21:41- but they were celestial. - Celestial being...?- The heavens.

0:21:41 > 0:21:48And you've got the Farnese statue dug out of Pompeii, which means it was pre-AD79.

0:21:48 > 0:21:52That shows Atlas holding a great celestial globe.

0:21:52 > 0:21:58- When was the earliest one made, then?- The earliest surviving terrestrial globe was made

0:21:58 > 0:22:03by Martin Behaim in 1491-92. We've made a copy of that, which we have here. Do have a look.

0:22:03 > 0:22:09- Right.- This is a beautiful globe, as you'll see. It's festooned with inscriptions.

0:22:09 > 0:22:15- What sort of thing are they saying? - They're from other notable travellers, like Marco Polo,

0:22:15 > 0:22:21Isidore de Seville, all talking about the world and where you can find gold, spices, precious metals.

0:22:21 > 0:22:27And it's all on this globe. The only thing that's missing is America. It hadn't been discovered.

0:22:27 > 0:22:32So you go straight from Europe and straight round to Japan.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Already a renowned traveller and cartographer,

0:22:35 > 0:22:42Martin Behaim collaborated with painter Georg Albrecht Glockenthon from around 1491

0:22:42 > 0:22:47to create what Martin called the Erdapfel or Earth Apple,

0:22:47 > 0:22:51possibly the earliest terrestrial globe.

0:22:51 > 0:22:57- This is staggering, isn't it? What a piece of work is man that we did this so early on.- Yes.

0:22:57 > 0:23:02- How much would the original be worth?- It's the Holy Grail or mother of all terrestrial globes.

0:23:02 > 0:23:07Presently, it's in the rightful place, which is the Germanic Museum in Germany.

0:23:07 > 0:23:11Despite the fact that it was badly damaged by restorers in 1847,

0:23:11 > 0:23:16I say it's got to be worth... Gosh. The record for a globe is £1 million.

0:23:16 > 0:23:20I say this one would be worth at least 10 million.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23It's so important. Such a historic item.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27Wow! So the original would really have cost the Earth!

0:23:27 > 0:23:34Greaves and Thomas, however, sold a pair of their facsimile globes at Christie's in 1999

0:23:34 > 0:23:36for a fairly impressive 28 grand.

0:23:36 > 0:23:41So how much did they know about the world? Had America appeared yet?

0:23:41 > 0:23:46- Yes. We've got cannibals there as well.- Cannibals? Oh, dear!

0:23:46 > 0:23:51If you look here, some poor soul is being beheaded and then they chop him up and he's being cooked.

0:23:51 > 0:23:57The 1492 discovery of America caused a revolution in globe-making

0:23:57 > 0:24:03as well as filling a large cartographical hole between Europe and Japan.

0:24:05 > 0:24:11The original of this 1688 terrestrial globe was designed by Vincenzo Coronelli,

0:24:11 > 0:24:19a Venetian friar and doctor of theology, with all the fears and propaganda of European conquerors.

0:24:19 > 0:24:23- So here's the cannibal zone. - Who put that cannibal in there?

0:24:23 > 0:24:28Coronelli was the globe maker and engraver, so it would have been him

0:24:28 > 0:24:32and he would have put it there on authority of literature he had read

0:24:32 > 0:24:38- which had told him you'd probably get eaten.- It just shows you how rumours start, doesn't it?

0:24:38 > 0:24:43James has created something truly amazing - not just a thriving business, but a celebration

0:24:43 > 0:24:46of both the Earth and the heavens.

0:24:46 > 0:24:50Even the ceiling of his tea room is something to behold

0:24:50 > 0:24:55as the galaxy turns above some very fortunate heads.

0:24:55 > 0:25:02- Look at it.- While you're looking above, the best view is through the mirror-topped table.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05Here, the planets defy gravity.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10- Did you come up with this idea? - Well, yes, I did, Sheila.

0:25:10 > 0:25:16- You're very special, aren't you? - He's clever. You just headbutted Saturn.- Thank you so much.

0:25:16 > 0:25:22It's been an absolute delight. You're so creative and clever. It's wonderful.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26I love these kind of slightly, dare I say it, eccentric visions!

0:25:26 > 0:25:30If only there were more time for star-gazing.

0:25:30 > 0:25:35It's been an inspiring terrestrial and celestial encounter,

0:25:35 > 0:25:41but the business of the day is not yet done, so Sandi and David are carrying the shopping torch.

0:25:41 > 0:25:47- Imagine people moving down to the Isle of Wight where Victoria took resident.- Did she come every summer?

0:25:47 > 0:25:52- Wasn't she incarcerated most of her...- Oh, her widowhood.- Yeah.

0:25:52 > 0:25:59- Or was that in...? - She went to Balmoral.- Where she had John Brown as her lover.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03- Well, friend. Let's say friend. - Lover!

0:26:03 > 0:26:06- She was a goer.- Oh, please!

0:26:06 > 0:26:11Eight miles south from Ryde's worlds of wonder

0:26:11 > 0:26:15lies the pretty coastal village of Shanklin.

0:26:15 > 0:26:19Before the Victorian era, Shanklin was a small fishing village

0:26:19 > 0:26:22with occasional smugglers,

0:26:22 > 0:26:26but the 19th century created a small town, popular with poets and honeymooners.

0:26:26 > 0:26:33- What are you reading at the minute? - Lord. Crimson Petal and the White. - Is it good?- Bloody marvellous!

0:26:33 > 0:26:37It's the best book about Victorian prostitution that I've ever read.

0:26:41 > 0:26:43Oh! Lots of little goodies.

0:26:43 > 0:26:47- Hiya. I'm Sandi. - Nice to meet you. John.- Hello, John.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50People are interested in pipes.

0:26:53 > 0:26:57- That one's seen a bit of service. - I've never seen a set like this.

0:26:57 > 0:27:04In fact, the set is most likely bespoke, made in 1901 by Salmon and Gluckstein.

0:27:04 > 0:27:08It's part-amber, part-silver and, well, rather interesting. Perhaps.

0:27:08 > 0:27:14- You've got this at 125.- Mm-hm. - My reaction to it initially is I think it's immensely interesting,

0:27:14 > 0:27:20- but smoking is not exactly de rigueur.- No.

0:27:20 > 0:27:25- My very bottom - £70. - That's his considering look. I've got used to it.

0:27:25 > 0:27:29- Oh, right. OK.- You can almost see the little cogs whirring.- Yes.

0:27:30 > 0:27:3270.

0:27:32 > 0:27:38- Is that the very best price you can do on that? - What would you like to pay for it?

0:27:38 > 0:27:40- 50.- 50?

0:27:40 > 0:27:44- Absolutely?- Hmm. - And a couple of photographs.

0:27:45 > 0:27:49- Deal?- Of what? - Well, probably not of David!

0:27:49 > 0:27:55But as the Toksvig team leaves triumphant, Team Hancock has the very same shop in their sights.

0:27:55 > 0:27:59- We've got to be really hard-nosed. - I know.

0:27:59 > 0:28:06- Hello.- Hello.- Hi, there. - Now I don't remember receiving one of these,

0:28:06 > 0:28:10but this is for the children of the nation after the war.

0:28:10 > 0:28:16It's from George, the King, "Today as we celebrate victory, I send this personal message to you

0:28:16 > 0:28:21"and all the other boys and girls for you have shared in the hardships of a total war

0:28:21 > 0:28:25"and you have shared no less in the triumph." It's lovely.

0:28:25 > 0:28:30- What on earth is that?!- They're inkwells.- It's a peculiar item,

0:28:30 > 0:28:36with blown glass and decorative accessories of, well, questionable function.

0:28:36 > 0:28:39But what purpose it serves, I've got no idea.

0:28:39 > 0:28:43I like things where I haven't the first idea what they are.

0:28:43 > 0:28:48It's London. And it's William Halford of London.

0:28:48 > 0:28:52- I think what we should try and do is put a bit of a parcel together.- OK.

0:28:52 > 0:28:57- And I'd like us to include that. - Really?- Yeah, I do.

0:28:57 > 0:29:01- You're mad! That's not going to get anything.- I've always been mad.

0:29:01 > 0:29:07- Who knows? - No, but nobody will know what it is. - That's part of the fun, isn't it?

0:29:07 > 0:29:11- Who is that lady?- That's Victoria.

0:29:11 > 0:29:18Oh, her. Like a flash, Sheila's amassed a commemorative bundle to sell in 2012,

0:29:18 > 0:29:20of all years.

0:29:20 > 0:29:27We have a Pavilion Hotel cigar case and Edward VII ashtray, a George VI VE Day letter

0:29:27 > 0:29:31and an advertisement for Coronation champagne.

0:29:31 > 0:29:35Enough to make patriotic hearts all aflutter.

0:29:35 > 0:29:38What's the price on those?

0:29:38 > 0:29:45- I've got 75 on the pair, but... I'm sure we can negotiate. - You think I'm off on one here.

0:29:45 > 0:29:49- I do. I seriously do.- Do you like those?- Yes. I think they're pretty.

0:29:49 > 0:29:55- If we gave you 70 quid for those and those, how would that stack up? - 70 quid.

0:29:55 > 0:29:58- And he'll bung that in for a tenner. - But what IS it?

0:29:58 > 0:30:02- That's just detail, detail. - That's a minor detail!

0:30:02 > 0:30:06- I think we should take it, just to see if anybody...- 80 quid the lot.

0:30:06 > 0:30:12That should be sold separately as an enigma, a mysterious thing that may be worth a great deal.

0:30:12 > 0:30:17Looks like Sheila's getting a taste for antiques investment.

0:30:18 > 0:30:2030, 40,

0:30:20 > 0:30:2350, 60, 70, 80.

0:30:23 > 0:30:25These rings are lovely.

0:30:25 > 0:30:29- That's £10. - Just tell us we have to leave now.

0:30:29 > 0:30:31Time to go, folks!

0:30:31 > 0:30:34- Come back another day, Sheila. - I will, I will.

0:30:34 > 0:30:38No! Bye-bye! We're going back now.

0:30:38 > 0:30:41No, no, no, no.

0:30:41 > 0:30:43No, no, no...

0:30:45 > 0:30:51What a mammoth shopping day it's been. Time for our weary rummagers to rest their heads.

0:30:51 > 0:30:57The shops are shutting and a soft pillow is not far from everyone's mind.

0:30:57 > 0:30:59Bonne nuit, mes amis!

0:31:01 > 0:31:06Up and quite literally at 'em, a new day is here and there's work to be done.

0:31:06 > 0:31:12- Come on now, you can tell me. I won't tell them.- You're going to scoff! I know you'll scoff.

0:31:12 > 0:31:16- Scoffing is a fine thing to do.- They all seem a good idea at the time.

0:31:16 > 0:31:20- Let's go and have a look in. - There.

0:31:20 > 0:31:25So far, Sheila Hancock and her hard taskmaster have spent £179

0:31:25 > 0:31:27on five auction lots.

0:31:27 > 0:31:32The chess set, the Mary Quant hat with the faux fur coat,

0:31:32 > 0:31:35the strange inkwell thing,

0:31:35 > 0:31:40the white metal goblets and a big commemorative bundle.

0:31:40 > 0:31:44They have a glorious £221 to throw at the day.

0:31:44 > 0:31:48- 60, 70, 80. - Now look at this lovely thing...

0:31:50 > 0:31:54I think if I ignore her, it'll work out that way.

0:31:54 > 0:31:58Meanwhile, Sandi Toksvig and her glamorous assistant

0:31:58 > 0:32:02have spent a proud £270 on four auction lots.

0:32:02 > 0:32:07The 1940s model crane - I want one!

0:32:08 > 0:32:12The bargain 19th-century pine chest. Nice!

0:32:13 > 0:32:16The repousse copper mirror. Lovely!

0:32:16 > 0:32:19And the Boer War pipe set. Mmm.

0:32:20 > 0:32:25Day Two stripped Sandi and David's fighting fund to just £130.

0:32:25 > 0:32:32- I'm very pleased. Now I have to take my clothes off and get my photograph taken.- You've done it before.

0:32:37 > 0:32:43- It is quite difficult. We couldn't have done it without the experts. - No, we'd have been rubbish.

0:32:43 > 0:32:47It should've been me and you against the experts to see how much is luck!

0:32:47 > 0:32:52- Sandi and I, we discussed our likes and dislikes.- "Sandi and I"?

0:32:52 > 0:32:58- I feel as though Sandi and I are soulmates.- I tell you something - Sheila is a remarkable woman.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00She's had a remarkable career.

0:33:00 > 0:33:05Gods of the Road Trip be praised. We're moving on at last.

0:33:07 > 0:33:12The town of Shanklin fades into distant memory as our celebrities and experts head east

0:33:12 > 0:33:16by a couple of miles, all the way to Sandown.

0:33:16 > 0:33:19But who will be the first to see the sea?

0:33:19 > 0:33:24Isn't that a wonderful scene with all the boats there? And the bay! That's lovely.

0:33:24 > 0:33:30Do you think sometimes you could be accused of not showing enough enthusiasm(?) Come out a bit more.

0:33:30 > 0:33:35- I think so.- Just be a bit more... ebullient.- I love that word.

0:33:35 > 0:33:40Another great word is late. Don't keep those girls waiting.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42- See over there? That pier?- Yeah.

0:33:42 > 0:33:48- I did a summer season there... - Did you?- ..with Cyril Fletcher.

0:33:48 > 0:33:54- Cyril Fletcher!- I was soubrette. - Soubrette. There is a job you don't see in the Job Centre anymore.

0:33:54 > 0:33:57- No!- Soubrette. - The opening number went...

0:33:57 > 0:34:03# Masquerade is here tonight And in the morning... # I never knew what happened then.

0:34:03 > 0:34:10I had so much to learn in the show, I didn't learn the opening chorus because everybody sang it.

0:34:10 > 0:34:12So I could just... MIMES

0:34:12 > 0:34:17- Sandown.- Yes! A brilliant, exciting place!- You're doing it now.- Yes.

0:34:17 > 0:34:20Yeah, OK.

0:34:20 > 0:34:26- It must have been fun. You're by the sea.- No, it was lovely. I was very young. It was the '50s.

0:34:26 > 0:34:30- Late '50s, early '60s. - Just when I was born.

0:34:30 > 0:34:33Yes, well, we won't talk about that.

0:34:33 > 0:34:37You know, Sandi, sometimes words can hurt.

0:34:37 > 0:34:40Let's chat more shop, please.

0:34:40 > 0:34:43Hello, girls! I hope you're not colluding.

0:34:43 > 0:34:46- Well, no... - Oh!

0:34:46 > 0:34:53I was going to suggest if we let Sheila and - Philip, isn't it? - go off and have a cup of coffee,

0:34:53 > 0:34:58- then we'll go inside.- We'll do light dusting, then you can come in. I'd hate it to be grubby.

0:35:00 > 0:35:03- Right, feel lucky? Feel the vibe? - Yes, I do.

0:35:03 > 0:35:08Actually, I think whatsisname, Philip, has spotted an interesting item already.

0:35:08 > 0:35:14- What's the ticket price on that? - Er, I could do it for 125. - That's the ticket price?

0:35:14 > 0:35:18- It's only just come in. - OK, lovely job. Thank you.

0:35:20 > 0:35:24- Hang on to that.- Is it pastel? - It's watercolour.- A watercolour.

0:35:24 > 0:35:27Who's the artist? Robert Scott Temple.

0:35:27 > 0:35:34Robert Scott Temple is a lesser-known landscape painter who exhibited in 1889,

0:35:34 > 0:35:40a century before this scene would be made quite famous on British television.

0:35:40 > 0:35:44- Sandi?- Yes, my darling boy. Perfect for me!- Two children's chairs.

0:35:44 > 0:35:50They're very sweet. That's the sort of thing a doting grandparent in Tunbridge Wells would get.

0:35:50 > 0:35:54- They look rather sturdy. - They look very much like Ercol.

0:35:54 > 0:36:00Ercol have been fine, modern, terribly British furniture makers since the 1920s,

0:36:00 > 0:36:04but Sheila's still holding that painting. Must have caught her eye.

0:36:04 > 0:36:11- It's also interesting because the castle was on...- Monarch of the Glen. I'm less interested in that

0:36:11 > 0:36:15unless we sold it to Richard Briers or Susan Hampshire.

0:36:15 > 0:36:22It's awfully difficult. I like it and now we have to work out if anybody else in the world would.

0:36:22 > 0:36:26Especially the people who live in Tunbridge Wells.

0:36:26 > 0:36:30- Is it Grumpy of Tunbridge Wells? - I don't know! But you can cheer up.

0:36:30 > 0:36:37- I would think this at auction will be £60-£90. That would be my shot for it.- Yeah, I'd agree with that.

0:36:37 > 0:36:42- So we have to buy it for somewhere in the 40-50 quid mark.- Mmm.

0:36:42 > 0:36:44I'd prefer the upper of that.

0:36:44 > 0:36:50- We'll hang on to it for a second. - Make sure they can't... - We'll keep it like this.

0:36:50 > 0:36:54Never a man to procrastinate, Philip Serrell is mulling it over.

0:36:55 > 0:36:59Was Monarch of the Glen a big enough hit in Tunbridge Wells?

0:36:59 > 0:37:06- What I really like about this is the television connection.- Richard Briers is one of my best friends.

0:37:06 > 0:37:12- And Susan Hampshire. I'll phone up and tell them to be at the auction! - Oh, darling! Would you?

0:37:12 > 0:37:16Shame Sandi and David don't know anyone working in children's furniture!

0:37:16 > 0:37:21- Em, we did notice the little chairs down here.- Which we liked.- Lovely.

0:37:21 > 0:37:26- I'll do them for £70 for the pair. - Not going to get much at auction.

0:37:26 > 0:37:32- Right. Not going to make our money back.- We have to find someone who has twins.

0:37:32 > 0:37:39- No, anybody with grandchildren or children who visit.- Oh, Sandi! This is part of the Barby technique.

0:37:39 > 0:37:44Accentuate the negatives and get the rock bottom price.

0:37:44 > 0:37:47I'll do them at 30 quid the pair.

0:37:47 > 0:37:51- You must be able to...- Surely. They're lovely and well-made.

0:37:51 > 0:37:56- I sit on the auction rostrum.- Right. - And furniture at the moment is zilch.

0:37:56 > 0:38:01- Could you do them at £12 each? £24. - I'll do them at £25.

0:38:01 > 0:38:06- Well, this is your choice.- Blame me? Is that what's happening?- Yes.

0:38:06 > 0:38:10- Please give the man some money. - Could you shake hands, please?- Yes.

0:38:10 > 0:38:17Can I just say, there's the £30 for the painting and a £20 tip? You've been so generous.

0:38:17 > 0:38:24Well, it looks like that's both teams paid up and another shop ravaged. I mean, visited.

0:38:25 > 0:38:31I never thought I would stay in the UK as long as I have. I came to go to school at 14

0:38:31 > 0:38:36- and I'm still here. - And what was the appeal? Is it the British people?

0:38:36 > 0:38:43I love that I don't care where you live in the UK, you are a stone's throw from something fascinating.

0:38:44 > 0:38:49Of course, it's the Great British Road Trip that keeps Sandi within our shores.

0:38:49 > 0:38:55And so David's taking her on a little historical journey

0:38:55 > 0:38:57all the way back to lovely Ryde.

0:39:01 > 0:39:06- I like that. Look.- Oh, isn't that fabulous?- Isn't it wonderful?

0:39:06 > 0:39:10- Where am I?- You're not. It's a painting.

0:39:10 > 0:39:15Sandi and David are about to enter the world of a true pioneer -

0:39:15 > 0:39:21a museum dedicated to the 20th century's most prolific cheeky postcard creator.

0:39:22 > 0:39:27But what kind of man would open such a saucy museum?

0:39:27 > 0:39:33- Hello, there. This is my friend David. We've come to have our fancy tickled. Is this the place?- It is.

0:39:33 > 0:39:35- James is waiting for you.- Fantastic.

0:39:35 > 0:39:39James? I think we've heard that name before.

0:39:39 > 0:39:43- James. Hi, I'm Sandi. This is David. - Hello. Very pleased to meet you.

0:39:43 > 0:39:47- Welcome to the Donald McGill Museum. - Wow! Look at all those.

0:39:47 > 0:39:51Ah. So when he's not busy globe-making,

0:39:51 > 0:39:57James curates this fine collection from the life of artist Donald McGill.

0:39:57 > 0:40:04Donald began his career by accident in 1904 when a humorous cartoon sent to an injured relative

0:40:04 > 0:40:06was forwarded to a publishing house.

0:40:06 > 0:40:13Picture postcards rose in popularity after the Royal Mail granted their licence in 1894.

0:40:13 > 0:40:20However, attractive seaside views became second place to Donald's great artistry and racy humour.

0:40:20 > 0:40:26This brings back so many memories of holidays in Blackpool with my parents.

0:40:26 > 0:40:31- We'd spend hours in front of these revolving stands, looking at cards. - Did you understand them?- No!

0:40:31 > 0:40:38- It seems to me, James, that the saucy postcard is uniquely British. - Yes.- Is it uniquely Donald McGill?

0:40:38 > 0:40:44- Who is the person we all think of? - People see Donald McGill as being the king of the saucy postcard.

0:40:44 > 0:40:51He was crowned that in his own lifetime. There were other comic cards, but nobody in his league.

0:40:51 > 0:40:56He went to art school, he was a draughtsman. He had perspective, engineering skills.

0:40:56 > 0:41:00For all of those reasons, he was particularly good.

0:41:01 > 0:41:07As a source of entertainment, Donald McGill's often highly sexy postcards

0:41:07 > 0:41:11were possibly a continuation of Victorian music hall sauciness

0:41:11 > 0:41:17and a definite forerunner to the world-famous Carry On films.

0:41:17 > 0:41:21- But being saucy was not without its risks.- Did he come up with jokes?

0:41:21 > 0:41:27I think he does. When you see his trial in 1954 and his defence for that trial

0:41:27 > 0:41:33against the 21 cards, he's actually saying, "I found this joke in Vanity Fair or in Picture Post."

0:41:33 > 0:41:40- It's extraordinary he was taken to court.- Absolutely. It was a witch-hunt by a coven of vicars.

0:41:40 > 0:41:44- And they didn't win. - Well, Donald had a senior moment.

0:41:44 > 0:41:50They turned it round and they got him to say, "Are you guilty?" And he said, "Yes."

0:41:50 > 0:41:55Poor Donald was worn down by a vitriolic moral crusade.

0:41:55 > 0:41:59Having gained huge popularity in the '20s and '30s,

0:41:59 > 0:42:02Donald became almost part of the establishment.

0:42:02 > 0:42:08But his style fell out of favour with some authoritative figures

0:42:08 > 0:42:10in the more conservative 1950s.

0:42:10 > 0:42:17Postcard shops were raided. On the Isle of Wight, Donald was prosecuted under the Obscene Publications Act,

0:42:17 > 0:42:23heavily fined and left with a beleaguered business and artistic reputation.

0:42:23 > 0:42:29- Did he recover from it?- Because of the cards which were banned and the loss of production and the cost,

0:42:29 > 0:42:34it's been suggested that today the equivalent was £100,000 of lost revenue,

0:42:34 > 0:42:39- which is a lot for a small business. - I feel a really strong link with it

0:42:39 > 0:42:44because I work often on the radio and TV and, of course, you can't say naughty things,

0:42:44 > 0:42:48but we do it all the time, but hopefully in a subtle way.

0:42:48 > 0:42:53Innuendo is alive and kicking. It's a great British tradition and long may it continue.

0:42:53 > 0:42:59Indeed. And when Kames isn't juggling his large globes, no pun intended,

0:42:59 > 0:43:03he's put his other life's work into this fantastic museum,

0:43:03 > 0:43:07celebrating a great British man with a British sense of humour.

0:43:07 > 0:43:12- Do we look very saucy? - You pucker your lips well, David!

0:43:12 > 0:43:15It's slightly worrying how good he is at that.

0:43:15 > 0:43:21And on that saucy finale, it's time for, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."

0:43:21 > 0:43:23Antiques, that is.

0:43:24 > 0:43:27Where's the rest of your things?

0:43:27 > 0:43:33- Small, as you will know, is beautiful.- That's so true.- You've got big things for a tiny person.

0:43:34 > 0:43:39- Oh, I think they've done well. - Absolutely love this.- What is it? - It's a toy crane,

0:43:39 > 0:43:43but we think it was probably made by a loving parent.

0:43:43 > 0:43:48How do you know that? It could have been done yesterday.

0:43:48 > 0:43:53- - It's called imagination and feel. - That...- It's not a modern design.

0:43:53 > 0:43:59That doesn't matter! You're making out it's some sad, war-torn child.

0:43:59 > 0:44:04OK, Sheila. We're all friends here. It might have some age to it. Moving on...

0:44:04 > 0:44:08- This is an umbrella stand. - They repro those really well.

0:44:08 > 0:44:15- It's a beautiful Victorian... It has the marking on the back. - A registration mark and number.

0:44:15 > 0:44:22Yes, yes, yes. All very good, but it appears Sandi, with her accomplice, has shopped on the sly.

0:44:22 > 0:44:29Fortunately, they've done rather well with a delightful, late-19th century iron stick stand for £90.

0:44:29 > 0:44:34What's so interesting about the design is it's Anglo-Japanese.

0:44:34 > 0:44:41If you look carefully, there's a panel there which shows birds. Very much in the naturalistic style.

0:44:41 > 0:44:47- This is the aesthetic movement with the Japanese influence. - It's a Barby lecture!

0:44:47 > 0:44:51- Oh, that's beautiful. - Isn't it lovely?- Beautiful.

0:44:51 > 0:44:56It's November, 1901. It was made specially by Salmon and Gluckstein.

0:44:56 > 0:45:00They were the largest tobacco retailers in the world in 1901.

0:45:00 > 0:45:04Montague Gluckstein thought it would be a good idea to go into catering.

0:45:04 > 0:45:11Nobody in the family thought it was a good idea. So he found a distant relative called Joseph Lyons.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13Lyons came from that.

0:45:13 > 0:45:19What a wonderful story and well researched. Let's hope it can influence the auction.

0:45:22 > 0:45:25What is...? Oh, there's that thing!

0:45:25 > 0:45:31- We didn't know what it was. - I have to say I did oppose getting it. It was my partner.

0:45:31 > 0:45:37But having done that, I looked up on the internet and this is obviously a lovely ironmonger.

0:45:37 > 0:45:43And I think he invented a way of using glass and making it heavy and like a weight.

0:45:43 > 0:45:47More interestingly, he also found a way to put bubbly bits in glass.

0:45:47 > 0:45:54Mm, bubbly bits in glass. I think Sandi's online fact-finding was a little more thorough, frankly.

0:45:54 > 0:45:59I like it, too. Can I say I am drawn inexorably to the fur coat and funny hat?

0:45:59 > 0:46:02Which is...a hat

0:46:02 > 0:46:04by...

0:46:04 > 0:46:06- Mary Quant.- Ah, very good!

0:46:06 > 0:46:10- Is that the biggest reveal you've got?- This is the box.

0:46:10 > 0:46:16It was sent to a lady as an offer from Woman's Own, which I think is touching and sweet.

0:46:16 > 0:46:20- This is a '60s faux fur coat. - Right.

0:46:20 > 0:46:24Which I think is quite good value.

0:46:24 > 0:46:28- With the hat. - So that's what they think.

0:46:28 > 0:46:31But what do they really think?

0:46:31 > 0:46:35- I think they're seriously good. - They bought some good things.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38I love those pipes.

0:46:38 > 0:46:42- I didn't like that cast-iron inkwell.- No.

0:46:42 > 0:46:48- But it might have appeal to somebody who collects industrial items. - It's quite nice.

0:46:48 > 0:46:54- Sandi loves the crane, of course, but that won't do well, will it? - On a bad day, it might make £15-£20.

0:46:54 > 0:46:57On a good day, it might make £40-£50.

0:46:57 > 0:47:03- If we want to win...- Yeah. - ..we've got to prevent Sheila wearing that coat and parading!

0:47:03 > 0:47:06There's no question about it!

0:47:06 > 0:47:10I'm not sure that modelling really fits with the Road Trip rule book,

0:47:10 > 0:47:15but who am I to have an opinion? Let's go!

0:47:16 > 0:47:20# You can go your own way

0:47:20 > 0:47:23# Go your own way... #

0:47:23 > 0:47:27The sceptred Isle of Wight is sad departed

0:47:27 > 0:47:31as we hover and motor to our final destination.

0:47:31 > 0:47:37Over on the mainland, a whopping 120 miles from the Isle of Wight,

0:47:37 > 0:47:44the Hancock and Toksvig teams are about to fetch up in dear old Tunbridge Wells.

0:47:44 > 0:47:48- I am just a touch nervous. - A touch?

0:47:48 > 0:47:53I think I'm extremely nervous. I won't convey that to the girls.

0:47:53 > 0:47:59- This is my own personal feeling. I confess to you all things. - I should be worrying about that.

0:47:59 > 0:48:02May the best woman win.

0:48:02 > 0:48:05- Yes!- All right, boys? - How are you both?

0:48:05 > 0:48:09Ooh, nice parking!

0:48:10 > 0:48:15- Sheila, how are you? - We are here to triumph! OK, we're here in a Triumph.

0:48:15 > 0:48:19- It looks awfully posh. - So do you look posh!

0:48:19 > 0:48:25- You look like you're going to a shooting luncheon.- My parents said to dress according to who I'll meet.

0:48:25 > 0:48:30Suddenly I feel like a grouse! Let's go inside.

0:48:31 > 0:48:36So here we finally are. The Tunbridge Wells and Hastings Auction Halls,

0:48:36 > 0:48:42purveyors of fine art, ceramics and furniture, though fortunately today is the general sale.

0:48:44 > 0:48:46Cheap as chips. £30.

0:48:46 > 0:48:52Auctioneer Marcus Rowell has his own thoughts on our offerings.

0:48:52 > 0:48:57I do like the pine box. It's got its fitted interior, which makes it quite rare.

0:48:57 > 0:49:03It's got patina, the paint is nicely worn. Less enthusiastic about the repousse copper mirror

0:49:03 > 0:49:05although I know Mr Barby rates it.

0:49:05 > 0:49:08I like it, but not enough, I think.

0:49:08 > 0:49:12The chairs are quite interesting. They're early Ercol.

0:49:12 > 0:49:15Pretty. Not worth a lot, but we like those.

0:49:15 > 0:49:20The chess set has damage or losses, I should say.

0:49:20 > 0:49:26But the crane, I think, is the one to go for. It would fit well in a modern flat.

0:49:26 > 0:49:31Pretty much everything else is trailing quite a long way behind.

0:49:31 > 0:49:35I'll do my best from the rostrum, as usual, but what more can I say?

0:49:35 > 0:49:41I think he's said enough. And so to the gallows... I mean auction.

0:49:43 > 0:49:46- Both teams started with £400 each. - A chess set...

0:49:46 > 0:49:51Sheila and Philip boldly spent £229 on six auction lots.

0:49:51 > 0:49:53- Do you want to make money?- Yeah!

0:49:55 > 0:49:59But Sandi and David threw caution to the wind

0:49:59 > 0:50:03spending £385 also on six auction lots.

0:50:06 > 0:50:12- Stand by. The sale is about to begin. - I don't think we'll do very well.

0:50:12 > 0:50:16First up, Sandi and David's iron stick stand.

0:50:16 > 0:50:19110 is bid. 120 anywhere? Come on.

0:50:21 > 0:50:28- At £110. - Not a bad start, but don't crack open the bubbly just yet.

0:50:30 > 0:50:34Will Sheila and Philip's silver goblets be cause for celebration?

0:50:34 > 0:50:35£15?

0:50:35 > 0:50:3710, then.

0:50:37 > 0:50:398 is bid.

0:50:39 > 0:50:4110. 12. 15.

0:50:41 > 0:50:4518? Go on. 18. 20?

0:50:45 > 0:50:47No? £18.

0:50:48 > 0:50:4918.

0:50:52 > 0:50:57- That just cost us 15 quid. - It could have been worse, I suppose.

0:50:57 > 0:51:02Let's hope Sandi and David's crane can lift the bidding here in Tunbridge Wells.

0:51:02 > 0:51:05£80. 85 anywhere?

0:51:06 > 0:51:10- Ridiculous. Are you all mad? - Yes.

0:51:10 > 0:51:12Thank you. 85. 90. 100.

0:51:12 > 0:51:15110? No, £100.

0:51:15 > 0:51:18110 anywhere? All done? 100?

0:51:18 > 0:51:21- Oh, no! - Go on!

0:51:21 > 0:51:23110.

0:51:23 > 0:51:27- How much did you pay for it? - 40.

0:51:27 > 0:51:34- Only you could look so brokenhearted when you make 70 quid. - Yes, cheer up, David. Grumpy.

0:51:34 > 0:51:38Now Sheila and Philip's unusual inkwell awaits the bidders.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41- £20? - Everything all right, Sheila?

0:51:41 > 0:51:44£60.

0:51:44 > 0:51:49- All done?- An excellent result for Team Hancock.

0:51:49 > 0:51:53- Well done, well done. - I can't believe it!

0:51:53 > 0:51:57So can the Toksvig party make their pine chest fly?

0:51:57 > 0:52:01It has got genuine patina. And it's a jolly good thing.

0:52:01 > 0:52:04I have £65 bid.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07It is bid. 75 anywhere?

0:52:07 > 0:52:11- 75.- Looks like someone is not happy with Tunbridge Wells today.

0:52:11 > 0:52:14It's worth more than that.

0:52:14 > 0:52:17- You'll never find another one. - Never.

0:52:17 > 0:52:20£120. At the back.

0:52:20 > 0:52:25A profit for sure, but do you think David wanted more?

0:52:31 > 0:52:38Now get the bunting out. It's Sheila and Philip's assortment of Royal memorabilia.

0:52:38 > 0:52:41£50? 40?

0:52:43 > 0:52:45Come on! Bid for it. 30, then.

0:52:45 > 0:52:50Come on. Is bid! £20 is bid. 22?

0:52:51 > 0:52:54Thank you. 25?

0:52:54 > 0:52:56Go on!

0:52:56 > 0:53:0028. 30? Come on, it's fun.

0:53:00 > 0:53:0430. 32? No. £30 from up there. Any more?

0:53:04 > 0:53:0730 quid.

0:53:09 > 0:53:13Well, maybe everyone's had enough of flag waving for one year.

0:53:16 > 0:53:22Can Sandi and David sell the best of British craftsmanship here today?

0:53:22 > 0:53:25150 is bid. 160? Come on.

0:53:25 > 0:53:30- I can't believe this. - You've changed your tune, Barby! - Good taste here.

0:53:30 > 0:53:34150. 160. 170 with me.

0:53:34 > 0:53:36175?

0:53:36 > 0:53:40180 with me. 185? No?

0:53:40 > 0:53:42£185 with me. All done?

0:53:42 > 0:53:45Well done and well deserved.

0:53:45 > 0:53:48- £100.- And now...

0:53:48 > 0:53:53- Oh, do we have to? - '60s! '60s!

0:53:53 > 0:53:57And the hat I won't wear. It's for a much younger person.

0:53:57 > 0:54:00There's the hat.

0:54:02 > 0:54:05Come on. £100?

0:54:06 > 0:54:12Come on! You all come here to join in and no one gets involved. It's pathetic! £50?

0:54:14 > 0:54:1820 is bid. 25. 30. Go on. 5.

0:54:18 > 0:54:2140. No? £35. Any more? Come on.

0:54:21 > 0:54:25- That'll do. - £35. I heard, "That will do"!

0:54:25 > 0:54:28Will that do?

0:54:28 > 0:54:32Must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

0:54:32 > 0:54:38- Who thought that was a good idea? - We stand as a team. You won't drive a wedge through us.

0:54:38 > 0:54:42- Sheila bought it.- Miaow!

0:54:42 > 0:54:44- Time for the pipes.- 80. Come on.

0:54:44 > 0:54:4785 anywhere?

0:54:47 > 0:54:5090? 5.

0:54:50 > 0:54:52100? 110?

0:54:53 > 0:54:55120? 130?

0:54:55 > 0:54:57No?

0:54:57 > 0:54:59£120. Cheap lot.

0:54:59 > 0:55:02130. 140.

0:55:02 > 0:55:04150? No. 140.

0:55:04 > 0:55:11A great profit and Team Toksvig are looking hard to beat now.

0:55:11 > 0:55:18Perhaps the Hancock camp can employ some celebrity power with this scene from Monarch of the Glen.

0:55:18 > 0:55:22- Sheila's terribly good friends with Richard Briers.- £50?

0:55:22 > 0:55:2720? Thank you, sir. £20 is bid. 22 anywhere?

0:55:27 > 0:55:31Oh, dear. Shame it's not a portrait of Jerry from The Good Life.

0:55:31 > 0:55:345? No. £32 on my left.

0:55:34 > 0:55:36£32. Everyone happy?

0:55:37 > 0:55:40Tough crowd.

0:55:44 > 0:55:50Now Sandi and David seem unbeatable as their classic '50s chairs await their fate.

0:55:51 > 0:55:54All right. £40 bid. 42 anywhere?

0:55:54 > 0:55:57Come on! Thank you. 42.

0:55:57 > 0:56:0145. One more. 48? £45 with me.

0:56:01 > 0:56:03(Seems very cheap.)

0:56:03 > 0:56:07Ridiculously cheap. £45.

0:56:07 > 0:56:09I'm doing my best. Can't help.

0:56:09 > 0:56:17A small profit, but it still keeps Sandi and David quite far ahead. Tense, isn't it?

0:56:17 > 0:56:21I think it's a very, very good way to lose weight in here.

0:56:21 > 0:56:25I don't know if you get a sense of the heat. And the tension.

0:56:25 > 0:56:28So far, I've lost a stone.

0:56:28 > 0:56:33Hancock and Serrell will need some smart play to catch up.

0:56:33 > 0:56:36£10. 12 anywhere? Thank you.

0:56:36 > 0:56:3815.

0:56:38 > 0:56:4018, sir? Yes?

0:56:40 > 0:56:43- 20?- Oh, dear. Poor Philip.

0:56:43 > 0:56:47Come on. 20. 25? Aha. We have a slight problem on the internet.

0:56:47 > 0:56:49We have £230 bid.

0:56:51 > 0:56:56Would anyone like to improve on that? No one? You astound me.

0:56:57 > 0:57:04- Jolly well done, Philip and Sheila. You just can't beat these live bidders.- That was brilliant.

0:57:04 > 0:57:08- Congratulations.- Thank you. - That is superb.

0:57:08 > 0:57:11Philip, well done.

0:57:14 > 0:57:17Our celebrities began with £400 each.

0:57:17 > 0:57:23Team Hancock conjured up a decent profit, after paying auction costs, of £103.10.

0:57:23 > 0:57:28Sheila and Philip end their Road Trip with £503.10.

0:57:30 > 0:57:34But Team Toksvig did just a little bit better

0:57:34 > 0:57:37with a proud profit of £193.10.

0:57:37 > 0:57:42Sandi and David end their Road Trip with £593.10.

0:57:48 > 0:57:51Thank you. Bye bye.

0:57:51 > 0:57:52Thank you.

0:57:52 > 0:57:57Well done, you. Well done, well done, Barbs.

0:57:57 > 0:58:02- At least you won a profit. - Can I just say you did brilliantly?

0:58:02 > 0:58:06- Yes, you did. - Hope to see you both soon.- Liar!

0:58:06 > 0:58:10Oh, darlings, let's just wave and say goodbye, shall we?

0:58:15 > 0:58:22The language is brilliant. The sexual acts are all in graphic detail!

0:58:22 > 0:58:25It doesn't have any safety belts!

0:58:25 > 0:58:29I wouldn't worry too much about that. I can't reach the pedals!

0:58:29 > 0:58:32- What's this?- The ejector seat!

0:58:47 > 0:58:50Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd