Rory McGrath and Steve Punt

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03The nation's favourite celebrities...

0:00:03 > 0:00:06- We are special, then, are we? - Oh, that's excellent.

0:00:06 > 0:00:07..paired up with an expert...

0:00:07 > 0:00:09We're a very good team, you and me.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11..and a classic car.

0:00:11 > 0:00:14Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

0:00:14 > 0:00:16It's very me, isn't it?

0:00:16 > 0:00:17Oh, I love it.

0:00:17 > 0:00:20The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

0:00:21 > 0:00:23But it's no easy ride.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25There's no accounting for taste.

0:00:25 > 0:00:27Who will find a hidden gem?

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Who will take the biggest risks?

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Will anybody follow expert advice?

0:00:32 > 0:00:35What I'm doing is watching the haggling.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Are you happy?- Yes. - Promise?- Ecstatic.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Time to put your pedal to the metal.

0:00:42 > 0:00:45This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

0:00:47 > 0:00:48Yeah.

0:00:49 > 0:00:53This Celebrity Road Trip promises to be a laugh a minute

0:00:53 > 0:00:57as comedy duo Rory McGrath and Steve Punt take to the roads.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Now, I know we worked together on a programme

0:01:00 > 0:01:02which I think was recorded in Manchester.

0:01:02 > 0:01:05You said something on the train coming home...

0:01:05 > 0:01:07- Yeah.- ..which was so funny...

0:01:07 > 0:01:13that I lost it. I was giggling. I very nearly had an underwear issue.

0:01:13 > 0:01:17Well, I hope there are no unfortunate accidents today,

0:01:17 > 0:01:20with £400 burning a hole in each of their pants.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Rory and Steve are swapping the comedy circuit for

0:01:23 > 0:01:24the antiques trail.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26I do feel in need of an expert.

0:01:26 > 0:01:30- Oh, God, yeah. - My own level of expertise is...

0:01:30 > 0:01:34sort of hovering somewhere between zero and minus five.

0:01:34 > 0:01:36They tend to be quite...

0:01:36 > 0:01:41But when it comes to comedy he goes straight to the top of the class.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Steve has written for many radio shows and contributed to the likes

0:01:44 > 0:01:47of Mock The Week, but he's best known for his appearances on

0:01:47 > 0:01:50The Mary Whitehouse Experience, The Punt and Dennis Show

0:01:50 > 0:01:54and his current news satire radio programme The Now Show.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58I certainly feel I could use a bit of help

0:01:58 > 0:02:00cos I never know how they price things in antique shops.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02They presumably just think,

0:02:02 > 0:02:05"Stick a price on it and see if anyone's prepared to cough it up."

0:02:05 > 0:02:06Exactly. I think that's true.

0:02:07 > 0:02:10Rory also rose to fame through his comedy writing

0:02:10 > 0:02:13and is renowned for loving a good road trip.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16His comedy feats include Not The Nine O'Clock News,

0:02:16 > 0:02:20They Think It's All Over and Three Men In A Boat.

0:02:20 > 0:02:25In my experience, comedians tend to be secretly very competitive.

0:02:25 > 0:02:29I'm not competitive. In fact, I'm competitively uncompetitive.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30I bet I'm more uncompetitive than you are.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34Isn't that the sort of thing a closet competitive person would say?

0:02:34 > 0:02:35It's not about winning...

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- It's about taking part. - Yeah.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's about not coming second.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Ha! Yup, he's certainly not competitive.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44Rather than three men in a boat,

0:02:44 > 0:02:47today it's all about two guys in a car, and a pretty one at that,

0:02:47 > 0:02:50a 1961 Morris Minor. Good old Moggie.

0:02:50 > 0:02:53These cars always remind me of one thing -

0:02:53 > 0:02:58rather smug man at the wheel, frozen, beleaguered wife thinking,

0:02:58 > 0:03:00"Why do we have to do this every Sunday?

0:03:00 > 0:03:03"Trevor, do we have to do this?"

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Well, what can I say, today's expert auctioneers Christina Trevanion

0:03:06 > 0:03:09and David Harper may act like an old married couple...

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Do you think I'm interesting?

0:03:11 > 0:03:14On a scale of on to ten. Give me a score.

0:03:14 > 0:03:16I'd give you one.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19Excellent. My life is complete.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22..but they know a thing or two about antiques.

0:03:22 > 0:03:24This is going to sound like a really odd question to ask,

0:03:24 > 0:03:26but do you think they'll be funny?

0:03:26 > 0:03:28They're highly intelligent. Do you know what?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Comedians have to be highly intelligent.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35To have that quick wit is quite a rarity.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38I think with a comedian they'll go to a supermarket and people will say,

0:03:38 > 0:03:42"Make me laugh." And that must be a nightmare.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Yup, a terrible burden.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47But not one our two fabulous experts

0:03:47 > 0:03:49need to worry themselves about though.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53- They're both pretty intelligent. - They will be.- Quick witted.- Yeah.

0:03:53 > 0:03:56I'm not entirely sure I'm going to have much in common with them.

0:03:56 > 0:04:00Oh, at least these two have got a nice car to drive,

0:04:00 > 0:04:02a 1970 Triumph Stag.

0:04:04 > 0:04:06This side-splitting journey will take our two teams through

0:04:06 > 0:04:08the heart of the Midlands.

0:04:08 > 0:04:10Starting in Balsall Common, Warwickshire.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Our double acts will be scouring the area for new material

0:04:14 > 0:04:15and some antiques.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18As they head north to an auction in Langar in Nottinghamshire.

0:04:18 > 0:04:23Buckle up and hold on to your sides, it's going to be a right laugh.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26And today's merriment commences in the large commuter village

0:04:26 > 0:04:28of Balsall Common.

0:04:28 > 0:04:30Oh, look, it's Rory. Quick, say something funny.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- I hope I end up with the sexy one. - Well, you've got me.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Thanks, Rory, we're going to get on great.

0:04:37 > 0:04:39Do you guys know anything about antiques?

0:04:39 > 0:04:42He knows a lot about antiques. He's been secretly swotting up...

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- Have you? - ..in order to win the competition.

0:04:44 > 0:04:46I think he's been secretly swotting up.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49He's playing a double bluff here.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Oh, yeah, we'll soon find out.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58Antiques In An Old Barn At Lodge Farm, yes, that's the actual name,

0:04:58 > 0:05:00does exactly what it does on the packet.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03And it's a great place for that all important mosey.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05It stocks everything from furniture,

0:05:05 > 0:05:07silver to a couple of familiar faces.

0:05:09 > 0:05:10It looks like David and Rory.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13And you said you weren't funny, Christina?

0:05:13 > 0:05:15It does a bit actually, yeah.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17It's not dissimilar.

0:05:17 > 0:05:20Can you tell which is which?

0:05:20 > 0:05:22And speaking of the devils, David

0:05:22 > 0:05:25and Rory have discovered something slightly turbulent themselves.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27- Wow.- What's this?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29This is part of an aeroplane.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31It's something in the cockpit, isn't it?

0:05:31 > 0:05:36If you've got lots of imagination you can do so much with this.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Hey. Plenty of legroom.

0:05:38 > 0:05:41These were expensive seats, weren't they?

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Anyway. Time for some actual shopping.

0:05:43 > 0:05:46Tell me about your negotiating skills.

0:05:46 > 0:05:47I'm quite good.

0:05:47 > 0:05:49I've never done it in an antiques shop before.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53I normally do it in newsagents.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56£1 for The Daily Telegraph?! I'll give you 50p for it.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Sounds like this could be an interesting shopping trip.

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Speaking of interesting...

0:06:03 > 0:06:06- Be careful what you're saying. - Go on.

0:06:06 > 0:06:07- That's a boar.- It is.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09I quite like the idea of...

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Do they fetch any...?

0:06:11 > 0:06:15They can do if the taxidermy is by somebody quite special.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17It's got a cricket cap on it.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Shall we get it out and have a look at it?

0:06:19 > 0:06:21Yeah. You stay, I'll bring it out.

0:06:21 > 0:06:23People have funny ideas about taxidermy,

0:06:23 > 0:06:26but there's something quite noble about that.

0:06:26 > 0:06:28Very noble.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31I don't have a problem with him because he's ancient.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33Is that going to be 19th or 20th century?

0:06:33 > 0:06:37I think this is early 20th century, maybe 1910, 1920.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39No maker's mark on the back.

0:06:39 > 0:06:44If we had the Rowland Ward mark, he would two of three times his value.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47So the guy who did it, actually what makes the value...

0:06:47 > 0:06:50I was thinking a good old-fashioned low oak beamed pub...

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Called The Boar's Head.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54And if they don't have a boar's head

0:06:54 > 0:06:57- they're going to be desperate for him.- Exactly.

0:06:57 > 0:07:00An interesting logic and a speedy decision from Rory.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04But how is the competition getting on?

0:07:06 > 0:07:10Do you buy antiques? Are you interested in antiques?

0:07:10 > 0:07:14I don't really. I'm not confident in what I'm buying.

0:07:14 > 0:07:17I would only buy something just because I like it.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19Well, that's the way to do it, isn't it?

0:07:19 > 0:07:21Rather than it might be complete...

0:07:21 > 0:07:22Yeah, I suppose so.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27But what will Steve think of Christina's first find?

0:07:28 > 0:07:31- That's quite fun. What do you think of that?- It is fun.

0:07:31 > 0:07:36They have got that as a garden sundial, which it isn't.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39This is an armillary sphere.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41- This is where I get a bit geeky. - No, go on. That's fine.

0:07:41 > 0:07:46Originally, the unique or the genuine ones would have had

0:07:46 > 0:07:49bands inside here where you would have been able to chart the stars.

0:07:49 > 0:07:52Whereas this one is in that style,

0:07:52 > 0:07:54but it's actually just a garden ornament.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58It's got a sundial, but I'd like to see anybody that would be able to

0:07:58 > 0:08:00tell the time with that and the sun.

0:08:00 > 0:08:03What I really like about it is that it looks like the logo

0:08:03 > 0:08:07- of an evil corporation... - Yeah, it does.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11- ..in a film. It's where the baddie works.- Dr Evil Corps!

0:08:11 > 0:08:14It's the kind of thing you perhaps wouldn't think of buying

0:08:14 > 0:08:16until you see it.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18You wouldn't go to the shops with a list that says

0:08:18 > 0:08:21- "armillary sphere" on it.- Yeah. Really, wouldn't you?

0:08:21 > 0:08:24But if someone brings one up you think, "That's nice.

0:08:24 > 0:08:25"I've always wanted one of those."

0:08:25 > 0:08:27Let's go and ask the price.

0:08:30 > 0:08:33- Ask the price?- Yes. - You mean not this price?- No.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36Go and say, "What are you doing...?"

0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Are you good at haggling?- No.

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Of course not, I'm British.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43"Do you really expect me to pay £44 for this?!"

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Is that good?

0:08:45 > 0:08:48OK. Maybe leave it to the expert, then.

0:08:48 > 0:08:51Let's hope Rory makes less of a pig's ear of things

0:08:51 > 0:08:54when it comes to haggling for his beloved boar.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Priced at £165, poor old thing.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58What shall we call the boar, Diane?

0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Boris.- Boris the boar.

0:09:01 > 0:09:05This is lovely. What do we reckon?

0:09:05 > 0:09:08Trade price. I'm ignoring that.

0:09:08 > 0:09:10Ignore all of that.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12I've got £50 in cash.

0:09:12 > 0:09:15That's retail prices, we're not retail buyers.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20- The trade price would be 95. - 95?- Yep.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22We need to start from 50, don't we?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24He gets it so quickly.

0:09:24 > 0:09:27He's been going about three minutes, he's an expert already.

0:09:27 > 0:09:30Can we get Steve down to watch and learn?

0:09:30 > 0:09:31I can't do 50, again.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33I'm sorry. I can't get close to that.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- £51.99.- 60.

0:09:36 > 0:09:40When you said no to 50, did you mean no or yes to 50?

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Cos some people get no and yes mixed up.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45Rory's not so secret competitive nature

0:09:45 > 0:09:47is certainly shining through now.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Just give me another five.- 55.

0:09:49 > 0:09:50Shall we go?

0:09:50 > 0:09:52- What do you reckon?- Let's do it.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54Right, OK. Thank you very much.

0:09:54 > 0:09:57- I'll hold it.- Thank you.

0:09:57 > 0:10:00That's one wild boar head in the bag for

0:10:00 > 0:10:03the greatly reduced price of £55.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Back with the other team,

0:10:05 > 0:10:08Steve has found a little piece of history very close to home.

0:10:08 > 0:10:10- Christina?- Yeah.- Look.

0:10:10 > 0:10:15I'm afraid, someone who's spent a while on the radio,

0:10:15 > 0:10:20- this really fascinates me.- Oh, wow.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23BBC Broadcasting House.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25It looks a bit different now, doesn't it?

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Is this your office?

0:10:27 > 0:10:30Uh...that's where we do The Now Show, just right in there.

0:10:30 > 0:10:33- Wow.- Where the radio theatre is.

0:10:33 > 0:10:37These cigarette cards feature 1930s radio celebrities.

0:10:37 > 0:10:40So you would have collected all your cigarette cards with

0:10:40 > 0:10:43the cigarettes and then you would have filled your little album.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46- Yeah. - That's very appropriate for you.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49There's a pub near Broadcasting House that has these in frames

0:10:49 > 0:10:52and I've always wondered where they came from.

0:10:52 > 0:10:57Clapham and Dwyer - who I think were a comedy double act.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59I can't be doing with them.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00Has it got a price on it?

0:11:00 > 0:11:02No, it hasn't. Well, it has, one penny.

0:11:02 > 0:11:06I suspect they'll be wanting a bit more than that.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08I'd imagine so.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Steve has also found some World War II pamphlets

0:11:11 > 0:11:13on what to do during an air raid.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Combing them with the cigarette cards,

0:11:16 > 0:11:19time to find out just how bad at haggling he actually is.

0:11:19 > 0:11:21£15.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23I think we can go up to that.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Let's just have a little bit of a chat

0:11:26 > 0:11:28before we talk about things like that.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30OK, yeah, that is pretty bad.

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Would there be any flexibility in the price?

0:11:34 > 0:11:36What about if I said...

0:11:36 > 0:11:41that and that £10, and threw that one in?

0:11:41 > 0:11:43£10 for three.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- You are terrible at haggling.- I am.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50- But I did warn you.- You did.

0:11:50 > 0:11:54What about the armillary sphere priced at £44?

0:11:54 > 0:11:57I'll run to 30.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59If that's any help to you.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Could you do 35 for everything?

0:12:02 > 0:12:0338.

0:12:03 > 0:12:07- I've given you a little bit extra. - You have.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10What I'm doing is watching the haggling and learning.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12A keen student indeed.

0:12:12 > 0:12:1438 and ten is £48.

0:12:14 > 0:12:18- No, £38 for the whole lot!- Oh!

0:12:18 > 0:12:22Of course, that was the whole base of that. I was testing her.

0:12:22 > 0:12:25Lucky for Steve, Christina is an expert haggler,

0:12:25 > 0:12:30so that's the cigarette cards and armillary sphere bagged for £38.

0:12:30 > 0:12:34Not bad. Meanwhile, Rory and David are in the party mood.

0:12:34 > 0:12:36- Oh, look at these.- Oh, my gosh.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38You're too young to remember these.

0:12:38 > 0:12:40You know what? Do you know what it reminds me of?

0:12:40 > 0:12:43- Champagne perry? - Yeah. My grandmother.

0:12:43 > 0:12:47Yeah, that era. That sort of innocent, late '50s, early '60s.

0:12:47 > 0:12:49Yeah, it's that kind of thing.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52They're actually quite nice glasses. They're quite substantial.

0:12:52 > 0:12:55I would have put him as more of a pipe man myself.

0:12:55 > 0:12:59- Do you think anybody would by that? - Yes, I do.

0:12:59 > 0:13:02The most exciting thing is the box.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05The box can treble or quadruple the value

0:13:05 > 0:13:07because the box is the rarer thing.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Shall we call that...?

0:13:09 > 0:13:11Yes, let's get Diane in here.

0:13:11 > 0:13:16The glasses are priced at £30. But can Rory work his magic again?

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Rory, you remember Diane.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20Diane, gosh, yeah.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22You've let yourself go.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26- What was your name?- Trevor.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30Our eye has been taken by this lovely set of glasses.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33But we wanted to talk about the price.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35Someone's written £30 on that.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37Obviously a mistake.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41Sometimes the threes and twos look different.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45Mm, Diane... I mean, Trevor is not looking too impressed.

0:13:45 > 0:13:4725 is the best I can do.

0:13:47 > 0:13:5025. A tenner, you say?

0:13:50 > 0:13:53No, I said 25.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Rory's trying every trick in the book.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58I'm very superstitious about odd numbers.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Well, you would be, yes.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03- They worry me.- Make it 26.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05I was thinking 24, actually.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07You're just too fast for me there.

0:14:07 > 0:14:0924?

0:14:09 > 0:14:11- No.- Oh, go on.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Then I can say I knocked you down a quid.

0:14:13 > 0:14:17- Go on, then. - Fantastic.- We've done a deal.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21That's great, Diane, Trevor... Whoever you really are.

0:14:21 > 0:14:23A deal is done.

0:14:23 > 0:14:28Through determination Rory saved a whopping £6 on these retro glasses,

0:14:28 > 0:14:31bringing his final spend in this shop to £79.

0:14:34 > 0:14:37- It was a good day's work, David. - Brilliant.

0:14:37 > 0:14:40But the shopping's not over for the other guys

0:14:40 > 0:14:42as Christina's spotted something sparkly.

0:14:42 > 0:14:46I know this is probably a bit girlie, but I can't resist shiny things.

0:14:46 > 0:14:48And I just saw this.

0:14:48 > 0:14:50You've seen a shiny barrel organ.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52Yes, which I know is slight contradiction in terms...

0:14:52 > 0:14:55That's the one monkeys sit on, isn't it? And you turn the handle.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Isn't that fab?

0:14:57 > 0:14:58In its original barrow as well.

0:14:58 > 0:15:00Are you musical?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02Well, I don't play the barrel organ.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07- Why not?- I play the piano and guitar, both quite badly.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09But I like musical stuff.

0:15:09 > 0:15:14If there's a market for miniature silver then I think

0:15:14 > 0:15:17- we should go for it. - Let's go and ask a price.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19You are technically from this point on banned

0:15:19 > 0:15:23- from talking to people about money. - Probably wise.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25It's got £55 on it.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29Would you have any flexibility going to about £30 on it?

0:15:29 > 0:15:31Not down to 30.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33- If I were to do... - Gives us a fighting chance.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35Yeah, I'll try.

0:15:35 > 0:15:38If I was to say 40...

0:15:38 > 0:15:40Could you go down to 35?

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Oh, look, it's a steely gaze, isn't it?

0:15:45 > 0:15:4735 would be brilliant.

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Just to give us a fighting chance.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51I can't come down to 35.

0:15:51 > 0:15:5338.

0:15:53 > 0:15:54What do you think?

0:15:54 > 0:15:57I'm not allowed to participate in this discussion.

0:15:57 > 0:15:58It's a good price.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01That is a good price, isn't it?

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Yes, very much so. I'm very happy at that.

0:16:04 > 0:16:05And so you should be, Christina.

0:16:05 > 0:16:08This silver barrel brings their spending here to £76.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11Leaving them with £324.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Not bad for their first shop.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17OK, it's time to hit the road.

0:16:19 > 0:16:20It certainly is.

0:16:20 > 0:16:23And Steve seems quite at home in the Triumph.

0:16:23 > 0:16:27# Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more... #

0:16:27 > 0:16:29It's got a good throaty roar.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33The Morris Minor really didn't have that.

0:16:33 > 0:16:36It had more of a polite cough.

0:16:36 > 0:16:39- It's got a cassette deck! - Oh, cassettes.

0:16:39 > 0:16:42It's got an authentic '70s cassette deck.

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Well, if you like that, Steve,

0:16:44 > 0:16:47you're going to love where you're being sent to next -

0:16:47 > 0:16:48Coventry.

0:16:49 > 0:16:52While many associate Coventry with Lady Godiva,

0:16:52 > 0:16:55there was another lesser known social movement

0:16:55 > 0:16:57that took place here in the 1970s.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01It stemmed from a form of music that revolutionised the British

0:17:01 > 0:17:05music scene and had a lasting effect on culture and society.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Are we ready?- Yes. - Let's go 2 Tone.

0:17:10 > 0:17:14Aside from comedy, Steve is also a massive music fan,

0:17:14 > 0:17:16so this is sure to be a treat for him.

0:17:16 > 0:17:17Welcome aboard.

0:17:17 > 0:17:20Today they're meeting director and curator Pete Chambers.

0:17:20 > 0:17:23This is the Coventry Music Museum.

0:17:23 > 0:17:27It's about all types of music, 2 Tone is the big one.

0:17:27 > 0:17:31It's what Coventry's known for, more than any other music,

0:17:31 > 0:17:33it's our unique selling point.

0:17:35 > 0:17:392 Tone is a music genre created in Coventry in the late 1970s

0:17:39 > 0:17:44by fusing elements of punk rock and ska music together.

0:17:44 > 0:17:48A guy called Jerry Dammers, he's the guy that came up with this idea.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52He wanted to fuse reggae with punk.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Unfortunately, that didn't really work,

0:17:54 > 0:17:57but when he sped everything up to ska

0:17:57 > 0:18:02suddenly the speeds met each other and he created this fantastic brand

0:18:02 > 0:18:04which we know today as 2 Tone Records.

0:18:04 > 0:18:07Punk had come and gone, and punk had a big mouth,

0:18:07 > 0:18:08but it didn't have a lot to say.

0:18:08 > 0:18:12Whereas what followed was 2 Tone, and that had a lot to say.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14It was music for the feet and the head.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17You could dance to it and you could also listen to it, take it in.

0:18:18 > 0:18:23At the time, Coventry was a very multicultural society,

0:18:23 > 0:18:25with a strong Caribbean community.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28This new form of music brought communities together

0:18:28 > 0:18:29for the first time.

0:18:31 > 0:18:33Is the black and white symbolic of something? What is that?

0:18:33 > 0:18:37It was evidence on there, all the graphics on the records

0:18:37 > 0:18:40and everything, and it was evident in the bands

0:18:40 > 0:18:43cos the bands were multicultural bands, black and white guys

0:18:43 > 0:18:45singing this black and white stuff.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47It was a fusion of black and white music.

0:18:47 > 0:18:50Listen, we're going to play the number one from these dizzy heights,

0:18:50 > 0:18:51it's The Specials.

0:18:52 > 0:18:57Jerry Dammers, a 2 Tone pioneer, went on to form The Specials,

0:18:57 > 0:19:00probably the best known of the 2 Tone bands

0:19:00 > 0:19:02with his college friend Horace Panter.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08The movement was branded with the iconic art work of the black

0:19:08 > 0:19:11and white squares and the image of Walt Jabsco.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14I think of it as bringing in almost like the mod feel

0:19:14 > 0:19:17cos there was a bit of a mod element to the whole thing as well.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20Walt Jabsco was a fictional character

0:19:20 > 0:19:22based on a photo of Peter Tosh,

0:19:22 > 0:19:26one of the main members of The Wailers, alongside Bob Marley.

0:19:26 > 0:19:29The imagery of the band was to become almost as famous as

0:19:29 > 0:19:31- the music itself. - Well, this was it.

0:19:31 > 0:19:36The style as well, it just wasn't about music, it was the whole thing.

0:19:36 > 0:19:41For three years 2 Tone was at the forefront of the UK music industry,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44affecting culture, fashion and politics as well.

0:19:46 > 0:19:51I remember The Specials catching a moment with Ghost Town

0:19:51 > 0:19:55that probably, more perfectly than any other record I can remember

0:19:55 > 0:20:00in terms of just absolutely summing up the time it was made.

0:20:00 > 0:20:03The early '80s were a time of great unrest in Britain.

0:20:03 > 0:20:07# This town is coming like a ghost town... #

0:20:07 > 0:20:09It was the first year of Thatcherism.

0:20:09 > 0:20:14And that record just caught what it was like for young people.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17Cos the last line of the record is, the people getting angry...

0:20:17 > 0:20:21- Yeah.- ..and literally, two weeks later there were riots.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24And this wasn't the only political movement

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Jerry Dammers was involved in.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Jerry Dammers also went on to write...

0:20:28 > 0:20:31one of the few songs I can think of that really helped to

0:20:31 > 0:20:33change the world, didn't he?

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Yeah. Possibly the greatest protest song ever.

0:20:36 > 0:20:38What was that?

0:20:38 > 0:20:41# Free Nelson Mandela. #

0:20:41 > 0:20:45- Yeah. Well done.- Thank you. - Absolutely.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49Other famous bands that came up through the 2 Tone label were

0:20:49 > 0:20:52Madness, The Beat and Selecter.

0:20:52 > 0:20:56Even today, 2 Tone's influence lives on in modern artists.

0:20:57 > 0:21:01I remember seeing The Specials at Glastonbury two or three years ago.

0:21:01 > 0:21:04And not only were they great,

0:21:04 > 0:21:06but Lily Allen was on with them as a guest.

0:21:06 > 0:21:10So there's a cross generational thing going on there.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13The museum is full of original artefacts for Steve

0:21:13 > 0:21:15and Christina to discover, including the master tape from

0:21:15 > 0:21:20The Specials' first album and a replica of Jerry Dammers' bedroom.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Oh, good. Look!

0:21:22 > 0:21:26If I can move the marathon bar here.

0:21:26 > 0:21:274p.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31But what you have here is Letraset, this is how people made posters.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33If you were in a band and you wanted to make a poster,

0:21:33 > 0:21:38- you couldn't just typeset it, you had to buy these.- Wow.

0:21:38 > 0:21:41I once saw a very early poster for The Cure in Reigate

0:21:41 > 0:21:43that I reckon hand Letrasetted by Robert Smith.

0:21:43 > 0:21:46And I wish I peeled it off the wall and kept it

0:21:46 > 0:21:49because then you could have told me how much it was worth.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52Does this take you back to being a teenager?

0:21:52 > 0:21:54It does.

0:21:54 > 0:21:57I had friends whose bedrooms didn't look at all unlike this.

0:21:57 > 0:22:01And the trouble is, it's making me feel I ought to be revising.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04That's the overwhelming feeling that I'm getting.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06I need to do some geography.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08Quick. Start revising.

0:22:08 > 0:22:13Whilst Steve is being taken back to his youth,

0:22:13 > 0:22:18Rory is being taken to his next shop in the market town of Coleshill.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21In the market square there still exists the town's pillory

0:22:21 > 0:22:23and whipping post.

0:22:23 > 0:22:25Though I'm sure David won't be needing that today.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27We've got 320 nicker left, haven't we?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30- Gosh, that's quite a lot. - Yeah.- Quite a lot.

0:22:30 > 0:22:33How do you feel about your first buying experience?

0:22:33 > 0:22:36We haven't bought a grandfather clock or a table or a chair,

0:22:36 > 0:22:39we've come out with a boar's head and some Babycham glasses.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41We haven't exactly gone the traditional route.

0:22:41 > 0:22:45I expected nothing less, but perhaps you'll find more antiquities

0:22:45 > 0:22:49at Remember When Antiques shop.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Oh, it's a wool shop, Rory.

0:22:51 > 0:22:54Don't worry, Rory, there are antiques at the back.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Is it an antique wool shop? Hello.

0:22:57 > 0:23:00- Hello.- We could knit ourselves an antique, couldn't we?

0:23:00 > 0:23:02We could knit ourselves a Queen Anne desk, shall we?

0:23:02 > 0:23:04Can you do that for us?

0:23:04 > 0:23:07Perhaps slightly outside her particular skill set

0:23:07 > 0:23:10but I'm sure she's got a wealth of other interesting wares to offer.

0:23:12 > 0:23:16This old theatre programme, 1957, '58 from Coventry Theatre

0:23:16 > 0:23:21- as signed Morecambe and Wise. - Wow.

0:23:21 > 0:23:22That says Morecambe.

0:23:22 > 0:23:24And I presume that says Wise.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26And Harry Secombe! Look at him with hair.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28Very young Harry Secombe!

0:23:28 > 0:23:30Anybody else signed on there?

0:23:30 > 0:23:32Not in that one, no.

0:23:32 > 0:23:36This one is signed on the front by Bruce Forsyth.

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Brucie!

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Good old Brucie, yeah.

0:23:39 > 0:23:42And then inside, a very young Brucie.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Again, another signature. - "I'll sign every page."

0:23:45 > 0:23:48IMPERSONATES BRUCE FORSYTH: I'll sign every page.

0:23:48 > 0:23:51I love the comedy connection, for you.

0:23:51 > 0:23:52Yeah, exactly.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54You couldn't have made it up.

0:23:54 > 0:23:56Ten, £15 for the two?

0:23:56 > 0:23:59I was thinking, yes, about £15 for the two.

0:24:00 > 0:24:02I think a tenner would be good.

0:24:02 > 0:24:03Cash.

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Meet me halfway, 12?

0:24:05 > 0:24:07I just like the clean tenner.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10And I'm thinking at auction, where's it going to stop.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12It's all...

0:24:12 > 0:24:15Ten is a beautifully almost decimal number.

0:24:15 > 0:24:16It is.

0:24:16 > 0:24:19All right, OK.

0:24:19 > 0:24:20How decimal do you want to be?

0:24:20 > 0:24:23- You can't get any more decimal than that.- Exactly.

0:24:23 > 0:24:26Uh, if you just stop talking, boys, I think she said yes to your offer.

0:24:26 > 0:24:30I hear what you're saying, so, yes, and I will throw that one in as well.

0:24:30 > 0:24:33You wouldn't throw those in, would you?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35- These two?- Would you?

0:24:35 > 0:24:37David, you are incorrigible.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41These sporting dinner menus are also signed by celebrities,

0:24:41 > 0:24:43so is Kim in a generous mood?

0:24:43 > 0:24:47- Go on, then. Yes. - You're an angel.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49We might even buy some wool.

0:24:49 > 0:24:52For an incredible price of a tenner, Rory

0:24:52 > 0:24:55and David have acquired a selection of theatre programmes

0:24:55 > 0:24:58and dinner menus all with famous autographs.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01But has David found something else already?

0:25:01 > 0:25:06- I do like that dish. - Mm, tell me about that, David.

0:25:06 > 0:25:07Well, do you like it?

0:25:07 > 0:25:11It looks like a Celtic shield to me, but it is, in fact...?

0:25:11 > 0:25:15It's simply a plaque circa 1890-1900.

0:25:15 > 0:25:18Really! Is that our antique for the day.

0:25:18 > 0:25:22- That's a real one. - That's a genuine one.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26It's priced at £62. I feel some more haggling coming.

0:25:26 > 0:25:2920 quid? Is that a very attractive figure to you?

0:25:29 > 0:25:32It's a little on the low side.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34I would probably be looking for 30.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38- I'll have to consult with head office!- OK.

0:25:38 > 0:25:39THEY MURMUR

0:25:39 > 0:25:41We've got to be really, really firm on it.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45OK. I will let it go for 20.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Do you think 20 is close to the edge?

0:25:47 > 0:25:52- Who can say that's expensive for 20 quid? It's impossible.- 15?

0:25:53 > 0:25:55You're pushing it now, Rory.

0:25:55 > 0:25:58OK. All right. Yes, yes.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00That will be the lowest that I go on that.

0:26:00 > 0:26:04- I'm... sorry! I'm learning from him. That was amazing!- Oh!

0:26:04 > 0:26:09The student has become the master and for an incredible £15,

0:26:09 > 0:26:13Rory and David are now the proud owners of an arts and crafts

0:26:13 > 0:26:15copper dish which, coupled with their previous purchases,

0:26:15 > 0:26:19means they now have £296 left to splash.

0:26:19 > 0:26:21- See ya! - Bye-bye.- Bye.

0:26:21 > 0:26:27But there's no more spending for now as it is curtains down

0:26:27 > 0:26:29on a successful day's shopping.

0:26:31 > 0:26:35Have you heard the one about the comedian who couldn't haggle? No?

0:26:35 > 0:26:38Well, it's certainly the topic on everyone's lips this morning.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40That's the bit I'm really bad at.

0:26:40 > 0:26:43I have this terrible thing at the back of my mind all the time

0:26:43 > 0:26:45that it's a bit rude.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48How are you getting on with the lovely Christina?

0:26:48 > 0:26:50She is haggler-in-chief.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53- Is she?- She really knows her haggling.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56David, I think that must go with the territory of being an expert.

0:26:56 > 0:26:57David is exactly the same.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01And you're no shrinking violet, Rory!

0:27:04 > 0:27:07So, how did you get on yesterday with Rory? He seems a lot of fun.

0:27:07 > 0:27:10He's absolutely... Well, he's on fire, isn't he?

0:27:10 > 0:27:13- Is he? - Yes, absolutely on fire.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17- What about you? - Yeah, great.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21Steve is incredibly clever, which is slightly intimidating.

0:27:21 > 0:27:24But he's also the worst haggler I think I have ever met.

0:27:24 > 0:27:25Why, why, why?

0:27:25 > 0:27:28If dealers say a price on the ticket, he'll say,

0:27:28 > 0:27:30"Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah."

0:27:33 > 0:27:37But luckily Christina was there to step in with some expert negotiation

0:27:37 > 0:27:40bringing home an armillary sphere, some cigarette cards

0:27:40 > 0:27:45and a miniature silver barrel organ for £76, as you do!

0:27:45 > 0:27:48What I'm doing is watching the haggling and learning.

0:27:48 > 0:27:51Rory, on the other hand, took to haggling like a duck to water

0:27:51 > 0:27:55and purchased Boris the boar's head, Babycham glasses,

0:27:55 > 0:27:59signed theatre programmes and a copper dish for a total of £104.

0:27:59 > 0:28:00And he was brutal.

0:28:00 > 0:28:04He's been going about three minutes and he's an expert already!

0:28:04 > 0:28:06This morning, both teams are off to the trendy,

0:28:06 > 0:28:11cosmopolitan suburb of Moseley, in Birmingham, which, funnily enough,

0:28:11 > 0:28:14is where famous comedian Jasper Carrott went to school.

0:28:14 > 0:28:18And, it seems, Rory and Steve are in the mood for a bit of a singsong.

0:28:18 > 0:28:24# Christina, she used to be a cleaner

0:28:24 > 0:28:28# In a Mexican cantina

0:28:28 > 0:28:31# Boy! You should have seen her on her knees

0:28:31 > 0:28:32# With a sponge in her hands! #

0:28:32 > 0:28:35- Pardon! - Don't encourage the buskers.

0:28:35 > 0:28:38The good thing with Christina, she's has the most...

0:28:38 > 0:28:42She's so modest... angelic voice, I promise you.

0:28:42 > 0:28:46She sings! Oh, she sings... Just beautifully.

0:28:46 > 0:28:49- We will see you later. - I thought that'd get rid of her!

0:28:52 > 0:28:56The first shop of the day is the Moseley Emporium.

0:28:56 > 0:28:58So, what's the plan for today then, folks?

0:28:59 > 0:29:02Shall we do like in Scooby-Doo and you go to the cellar

0:29:02 > 0:29:06- and I'll check out upstairs? - Oh, thanks. That's really brave.

0:29:06 > 0:29:10- Yeah, I'll go down in the cellar! - We're splitting up.- All right.

0:29:10 > 0:29:13But, as Scooby would say... (SCOOBY VOICE) "Let's go!"

0:29:13 > 0:29:17Flying solo, Steve is keen to impart his new-found antiques knowledge.

0:29:17 > 0:29:20There's a lot of what you might call furniture here.

0:29:20 > 0:29:23I'm developing that amount of expertise,

0:29:23 > 0:29:25I recognise this is furniture.

0:29:25 > 0:29:26This is quite nice.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28It's basically a chair you can put things in.

0:29:28 > 0:29:31Say what you see, Stephen. Say what you see.

0:29:31 > 0:29:34But will anything actually catch his interest?

0:29:34 > 0:29:36There's a nice mirror here.

0:29:36 > 0:29:39Although, suddenly it seems to come with a horrible reflection in it.

0:29:39 > 0:29:42I hope that's optional.

0:29:42 > 0:29:43EERIE NOISES

0:29:43 > 0:29:44Speaking of scary sights,

0:29:44 > 0:29:49how's Christina getting on six feet under? Poor girl!

0:29:49 > 0:29:53This actually is Scooby-Doo. You see, you should never make jokes.

0:29:53 > 0:29:56Interesting philosophy coming from a comedian.

0:29:56 > 0:29:58There is actually a mummy.

0:30:00 > 0:30:03CHRISTINA SCREAMS

0:30:03 > 0:30:05No, not just a mummy, Christina!

0:30:05 > 0:30:07It's surprisingly comfortable in here.

0:30:07 > 0:30:11I think I might stay for a while. Just come back in a minute.

0:30:11 > 0:30:13Put the lid back down.

0:30:13 > 0:30:16I mean, I hate to say this but you will need one eventually.

0:30:16 > 0:30:20What a cheery thought! Luckily, it's only a stage coffin.

0:30:20 > 0:30:22Maybe one we'll save for later.

0:30:22 > 0:30:24Maybe ask how much a second-hand coffin is.

0:30:24 > 0:30:27Are you seriously considering buying a coffin?

0:30:27 > 0:30:30There's a nice mirror upstairs I think you should look at.

0:30:30 > 0:30:32Shall I stop being silly and come with you?

0:30:32 > 0:30:35Yes, please. It gives me the creeps down here.

0:30:35 > 0:30:39The mirror is priced at £85, but what does Christina think?

0:30:39 > 0:30:43I have sold them in the past and they make sort of £40 or £50.

0:30:43 > 0:30:46I have sold some similar to that in a bit of a job lot for...

0:30:46 > 0:30:49So we'd have to get a lot off that to make it worth getting?

0:30:49 > 0:30:52Yes, and I think we need a masterclass in haggling

0:30:52 > 0:30:54before we do that.

0:30:54 > 0:30:56Right! Yes, I think we probably do.

0:30:56 > 0:31:00Oh, dear! That doesn't bode well, but certainly one to bear in mind

0:31:00 > 0:31:03and what have they found on the stairwell now?

0:31:03 > 0:31:07- I'm rather drawn to that. - Yeah, it's really nice.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10Oh, look, it's HM Government!

0:31:10 > 0:31:14This is what... Civil servants sat around playing billiards.

0:31:14 > 0:31:17It's a Thomas Padmore and Sons billiard scorer.

0:31:17 > 0:31:20So, it's got Edwardian on here which would indicate

0:31:20 > 0:31:23he thinks it's between 1901 and 1910.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26I'd say maybe nudging it into the Victorian era,

0:31:26 > 0:31:27slightly earlier than that.

0:31:27 > 0:31:29It looks like it's made of oak, which is nice.

0:31:29 > 0:31:33And these ebony sliders. They're still running so smoothly.

0:31:33 > 0:31:38They're beautiful. Really lovely. And I like its sort of faded grandeur.

0:31:39 > 0:31:41So, with this, the coffin and the mirror,

0:31:41 > 0:31:44that's three items they're interested in.

0:31:44 > 0:31:47All that remains to be seen is what they can get the best price on.

0:31:47 > 0:31:50- Steve!- How brave are you feeling about haggling?

0:31:50 > 0:31:52Well, if I could take you leaping out of a coffin at me,

0:31:52 > 0:31:56- I feel I can maybe haggle a bit. - OK.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59- Ready? - Er, yep.

0:32:01 > 0:32:03Come on, Steve. You can do it!

0:32:03 > 0:32:06It's all about eye contact, determination and, above all,

0:32:06 > 0:32:07confidence.

0:32:07 > 0:32:09So, there's a mirror right at the top.

0:32:09 > 0:32:11- An Art Deco mirror.- Yeah.

0:32:11 > 0:32:12Erm...

0:32:13 > 0:32:16- Oh, no! - Don't be scared to ask.

0:32:16 > 0:32:18- Well... - Get the words out.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22We are thinking we would happily pay £40 for that.

0:32:22 > 0:32:23No, no, no!

0:32:23 > 0:32:27- What have I done wrong now? - Start at 30!- Oh, start at 30!

0:32:27 > 0:32:31We, myself and my manager, were hoping...

0:32:31 > 0:32:34Oh, God! This is like car crash television!

0:32:34 > 0:32:35Come on, Steve!

0:32:35 > 0:32:37You get knocked down! You get back up again.

0:32:37 > 0:32:39We were hoping that perhaps £30

0:32:39 > 0:32:42would take that mirror off your hands, sir.

0:32:42 > 0:32:45- Ooh!- That's better, Steve. - It's 85.

0:32:45 > 0:32:50For 85. I'll tell you what I'll do for you. 45.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53And, what about, dare I say, the coffin?

0:32:53 > 0:32:56- I think it's about 85, I'm not sure.- Is it?!

0:32:56 > 0:32:59No, no, that's down in the cellar. But the lowest...

0:32:59 > 0:33:03- Does that make a difference?- Yes, it's nice in the cellar.

0:33:03 > 0:33:05- Nice and cool.- Is it literally the bargain basement?

0:33:05 > 0:33:08Good line! Humour him down on the price, Steve!

0:33:08 > 0:33:12It's a bargain because it will be £40 but no less.

0:33:12 > 0:33:17- No less. Do I take that? "No less." - 45 and I would have took it myself.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19Before Steve can make a decision, there is

0:33:19 > 0:33:21one final piece he needs a price on.

0:33:21 > 0:33:25- Now, the billiard scoring thing, we like that.- OK.

0:33:25 > 0:33:29I probably shouldn't have told you! No, we hated that. We hated that.

0:33:29 > 0:33:30We don't really want to buy it.

0:33:30 > 0:33:34We are willing to pay you £30...

0:33:34 > 0:33:36- £20. - ..£20 for the privilege of...

0:33:36 > 0:33:40- Taking it away.- Taking it away. Taking it off your hands, really.

0:33:40 > 0:33:45- It's 55, I think, is it?- Er... Yes, it is 55. 55 on the sticker.

0:33:45 > 0:33:47For the privilege of being in the shop,

0:33:47 > 0:33:49I'll do it for you for 25 and that's it.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51What do we think about the mirror?

0:33:51 > 0:33:54Deep in our hearts we prefer the scorer, don't we?

0:33:55 > 0:33:58If we bought the coffin and the scorer,

0:33:58 > 0:33:59is there any movement on the price?

0:33:59 > 0:34:02- What's that, 65?- Yeah.

0:34:02 > 0:34:06£60, that's fair, it really is.

0:34:06 > 0:34:08- Um... - Shall we do it?- Yeah, let's do it.

0:34:08 > 0:34:11- We both want to do it, let's face it.- The coffin and the scorer?

0:34:11 > 0:34:13- And the scorer.- I'm happy with that.

0:34:13 > 0:34:16You can take both of them away for that and bury them for all I care.

0:34:16 > 0:34:18THEY LAUGH

0:34:18 > 0:34:20Everyone is a joker today.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22So, for the princely sum of £60...

0:34:22 > 0:34:24A pleasure doing business with you.

0:34:24 > 0:34:27..Steve can hold his head high at this victory as he walks away

0:34:27 > 0:34:32with a snooker scorer, coffin, and £264 left to spend.

0:34:32 > 0:34:35What on earth are they planning to do with that coffin?

0:34:37 > 0:34:42- There were people in the hairdressers just sat there.- I'm not surprised.

0:34:42 > 0:34:46Oh, show it off down the local high street, good plan.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48Just a couple of miles away, taking a break from shopping,

0:34:48 > 0:34:51Rory and David are at Moseley Road Baths.

0:34:51 > 0:34:54This is us. Men's first-class. In you go.

0:34:54 > 0:34:56Designed for us, I think.

0:34:56 > 0:34:59During the Industrial Revolution,

0:34:59 > 0:35:02Birmingham emerged as one of the country's super cities.

0:35:02 > 0:35:05Built in 1907, the baths offered swimming

0:35:05 > 0:35:07as a luxury leisure activity

0:35:07 > 0:35:10but were primarily providing washing facilities,

0:35:10 > 0:35:15as the majority of homes at that time did not have private bathrooms.

0:35:15 > 0:35:18For more than a century, they became a focal point of the community.

0:35:18 > 0:35:23Hosting dances and even a casualty station during the Second World War.

0:35:23 > 0:35:25Today, Rory and David are meeting with Jennifer,

0:35:25 > 0:35:28a member of the Friends of Moseley Baths.

0:35:28 > 0:35:31- Hello.- Hello.- Hello! Hi, hi.

0:35:31 > 0:35:33I'm Rory, hello, Jenny.

0:35:33 > 0:35:36They're a group campaigning to keep the baths open

0:35:36 > 0:35:40because the future of this spectacular building is in jeopardy.

0:35:40 > 0:35:44- Right!- Gosh.- Gentleman, you are now in the first-class men's.

0:35:44 > 0:35:46What do we get for that, then?

0:35:46 > 0:35:48I think you get a nicer towel,

0:35:48 > 0:35:50possibly two towels, but I'm not actually sure.

0:35:50 > 0:35:52OK. Are we currently naked, or not?

0:35:52 > 0:35:55- No, no, no, no. Please! - Good question!

0:35:55 > 0:35:58You come through into here, in the first-class men's,

0:35:58 > 0:36:00and you're going to be taken to your cubicle

0:36:00 > 0:36:03where the tub of hot water will await you.

0:36:03 > 0:36:06How did they decide which man was a first-class man

0:36:06 > 0:36:08and which man was a second-class man?

0:36:08 > 0:36:11- Surely money!- I think it was how much you could afford.

0:36:11 > 0:36:13Some things never change.

0:36:15 > 0:36:19- Gosh.- So, we've got our luxury soap and our nice towels.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21- There would never be three of us in here, of course.- Oh, I see.

0:36:21 > 0:36:24- One person, of course. - Is there an attendant?

0:36:24 > 0:36:26The attendant's there, you can ring the bell,

0:36:26 > 0:36:28there's a little notice on the door behind you.

0:36:28 > 0:36:31You only had half an hour in the bath.

0:36:31 > 0:36:33And you couldn't have extra hot,

0:36:33 > 0:36:35though we do hear stories of people taking...

0:36:35 > 0:36:37staff taking backhanders in the old days

0:36:37 > 0:36:39to put in a little bit of extra hot.

0:36:39 > 0:36:43Or even manufacture a sort of key that was used to turn

0:36:43 > 0:36:47- these enormous taps that you can see here.- Not in first class, Jenny.

0:36:47 > 0:36:51- No, no.- Possibly second class.

0:36:51 > 0:36:53So, how often would people use a facility like this?

0:36:53 > 0:36:57About once a week. If you're using public baths, you come once a week.

0:36:57 > 0:36:59But for some families, poor families,

0:36:59 > 0:37:02it was such a luxury, maybe it was just on special occasions.

0:37:02 > 0:37:05We had one person we interviewed for our Memory Project, a young woman,

0:37:05 > 0:37:09who said she came here especially on the night before she got married,

0:37:09 > 0:37:11to have a really special, good clean-up

0:37:11 > 0:37:14before she went into married life. That's very nice.

0:37:14 > 0:37:16- I hope the husband did the same. - I hope he did!

0:37:16 > 0:37:18A lot has changed since 1907,

0:37:18 > 0:37:22and with more and more bathrooms being built in houses,

0:37:22 > 0:37:24the baths became obsolete.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27Though they remained open until 2004.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29But it wasn't just about bathing.

0:37:29 > 0:37:31There's a first and second class pool.

0:37:31 > 0:37:33If you'd like to come with me now,

0:37:33 > 0:37:35- I'll take you in and show you the gala pool.- Yes, good.

0:37:35 > 0:37:39- Have you got your swimming trunks on under there?- I've got my bikini on.

0:37:39 > 0:37:41Let's hope he's joking.

0:37:42 > 0:37:47The first-class pool, or gala pool, has been closed since 2003,

0:37:47 > 0:37:49but its unique balconettes

0:37:49 > 0:37:53and cathedral-like structure are still a unique sight to behold.

0:37:55 > 0:37:58What do we get here that they don't get in the second-class pool?

0:37:58 > 0:38:01In the first-class pool, you get the best water, for a start.

0:38:01 > 0:38:04I didn't know there were different sorts of water.

0:38:04 > 0:38:06- I thought it was just the same stuff. - Clean and dirty.

0:38:06 > 0:38:07Oh, I see. You're kidding!

0:38:07 > 0:38:11Before they had proper filtration and chlorination systems,

0:38:11 > 0:38:16the water was stored in a very large cast iron tank in the roof.

0:38:16 > 0:38:18The cold water was heated up and used here in this,

0:38:18 > 0:38:20the first-class pool.

0:38:20 > 0:38:24After several days it would have gone through to the second class.

0:38:24 > 0:38:28So you basically got used water from this pool.

0:38:28 > 0:38:30So gala pool, why gala pool?

0:38:30 > 0:38:32Gala pool because they had galas here.

0:38:32 > 0:38:34And you'll notice in this pool,

0:38:34 > 0:38:36one special feature of it is the beautiful balcony.

0:38:36 > 0:38:38It goes all the way round the top here

0:38:38 > 0:38:40so this would have been full of people

0:38:40 > 0:38:42cheering on local interschool galas,

0:38:42 > 0:38:47this is in the period going back to the '50s and '60s, the heyday.

0:38:47 > 0:38:51Lots and lots of competitive swimming went on here.

0:38:51 > 0:38:54Well, it's obvious then, Jenny, that it's not in order any more.

0:38:54 > 0:38:56Look at the building, it's magnificent,

0:38:56 > 0:38:58but it really is in need of restoration.

0:38:58 > 0:39:00Yes, I absolutely agree.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06Next door, what was the second-class pool

0:39:06 > 0:39:09is now the only part of the building still in use.

0:39:09 > 0:39:12It's the oldest of only three Grade II-listed pools

0:39:12 > 0:39:15still operating in the UK and a wonderful piece of history.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17In you go, boys.

0:39:20 > 0:39:24Meanwhile, Steve and Christina are hotfooting it north

0:39:24 > 0:39:26to the beautiful cathedral city of Lichfield.

0:39:27 > 0:39:30In a sense, what we do is rather like what you do.

0:39:30 > 0:39:32We scour the country looking for old jokes.

0:39:32 > 0:39:34And then we polish them up a bit

0:39:34 > 0:39:36and we try to sell them to a new audience.

0:39:36 > 0:39:39So we are nearing the end of our road trip now.

0:39:39 > 0:39:42I know. I feel like I was just getting going.

0:39:42 > 0:39:45Good! Because there's still more shopping to do.

0:39:45 > 0:39:49I think I can smell antiques in this direction.

0:39:49 > 0:39:51Now he's done a bit of haggling,

0:39:51 > 0:39:56let's see if Steve can sniff out a bargain in James A Jordan Antiques.

0:39:56 > 0:39:58This is rather lovely, isn't it?

0:39:58 > 0:40:02I saw some twinkly things when I walked in, are you mainly jewellery?

0:40:02 > 0:40:05- You want to look at the twinkly things, don't you?- Steve, I'm sorry.

0:40:05 > 0:40:07Go and look at the twinkly things.

0:40:07 > 0:40:11Now, it's Steve and Christina who sound like an old married couple.

0:40:11 > 0:40:14So, I'll have that one, that one, that one, that one, that one,

0:40:14 > 0:40:16- that one, that one. - You have to bear in mind...

0:40:16 > 0:40:20- Earrings don't suit me.- You have to bear in mind the budget.- What?!

0:40:20 > 0:40:23Yep, definitely like an old married couple.

0:40:23 > 0:40:27I just saw this over there. It's obviously a frame.

0:40:27 > 0:40:30Very typically Edwardian, this sort of typical swags and garlands

0:40:30 > 0:40:35and bows is typically 1901-1910. What do you think?

0:40:35 > 0:40:39Um... Well, it's got a clear and obvious use. Which is good.

0:40:39 > 0:40:41Do you like it?

0:40:41 > 0:40:45- Nice photo frames are, um, much in demand.- Eternally popular.

0:40:45 > 0:40:49- I like it.- Shall we ask the price? - Yeah, let's ask the price.- Yeah?

0:40:49 > 0:40:50Now...

0:40:50 > 0:40:52I know. I know.

0:40:52 > 0:40:55What do you want to do? Do you want to do the haggling?

0:40:55 > 0:40:58No! But I can do if you want me to.

0:40:58 > 0:41:02- But I, I...- I trust you. - This is the last chance to haggle.

0:41:02 > 0:41:04So, really, you ought to do your stuff.

0:41:04 > 0:41:06It's probably for the best.

0:41:06 > 0:41:10Christina, before you start, just remember everything I taught you.

0:41:10 > 0:41:12LAUGHTER

0:41:12 > 0:41:15- Really?- You'll be OK. You'll be OK. - Thank you, that's very kind.

0:41:15 > 0:41:17Yeah, thanks, Steve(!)

0:41:17 > 0:41:20- That's marked up at £20. - £20, OK, all right.

0:41:20 > 0:41:24I would really be looking to pay maybe £10 for it, really.

0:41:24 > 0:41:25At auction.

0:41:25 > 0:41:28To give us a fighting chance of it making any money at all.

0:41:28 > 0:41:32- This is very much the correct technique.- Yeah? Happy?- Yeah.

0:41:32 > 0:41:35- You should have asked him for it for nothing.- OK, sorry. A pound?

0:41:35 > 0:41:37- £10 is fine.- Are you happy with £10?

0:41:37 > 0:41:40- For a beginner, that's fine, yeah. - Happy?

0:41:40 > 0:41:42- Yeah, yeah.- All right. - We'll have a deal on 10.

0:41:42 > 0:41:44Oh! You were right!

0:41:44 > 0:41:48I should have asked for a pound! A pound?!

0:41:49 > 0:41:52It wasn't free, but Steve and Christina

0:41:52 > 0:41:54did manage to get the picture frame for half price.

0:41:56 > 0:42:00Bringing their total spends for this trip to £146.

0:42:01 > 0:42:04Thank you! Bye!

0:42:04 > 0:42:08Rory and David are also en route to Lichfield.

0:42:08 > 0:42:12There are only two cities in England with three-spired cathedrals.

0:42:12 > 0:42:14And Lichfield is one of them.

0:42:14 > 0:42:17That's pub quiz gold.

0:42:17 > 0:42:20You can admire the cathedral, I'll admire the antiques centre.

0:42:20 > 0:42:24Quite right, David. This is no weather for sightseeing.

0:42:24 > 0:42:26Good bit of parking, look at that!

0:42:27 > 0:42:31Rory and David are sheltering in the abundantly stocked

0:42:31 > 0:42:32Lichfield Antiques Centre.

0:42:32 > 0:42:36There's some proper what we call antiques here.

0:42:36 > 0:42:39- I call them antiques. - Well, you are in the business.

0:42:39 > 0:42:41And Rory is keen to prove it.

0:42:41 > 0:42:45- I suspect you put a plant pot on top of it, do you?- Yes, you do.

0:42:45 > 0:42:47It's a bit art thingy, isn't it?

0:42:47 > 0:42:49Art...quelque chose.

0:42:49 > 0:42:50That's right, Rory.

0:42:50 > 0:42:54French words always make you sound more knowledgeable.

0:42:54 > 0:42:57You could say it adds a certain je ne sais quoi.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59- It's a tray.- It's a tray... - You see, how good am I?

0:42:59 > 0:43:02You seriously need a change of careers, you know that, don't you?

0:43:02 > 0:43:07- Made of something tree-based. - Yeah, tree-based.- What an eye, eh?

0:43:07 > 0:43:11Now that Rory has asserted himself as an antiques connoisseur,

0:43:11 > 0:43:14- time for some serious shopping. - Now that's interesting.

0:43:14 > 0:43:19Now what... See, I've got no idea what that's made of, is that metal?

0:43:19 > 0:43:22- Not tree-based, then? - It looks odd, doesn't it?

0:43:22 > 0:43:24It looks like it could be metal but it doesn't,

0:43:24 > 0:43:27it feels more sort of, it's not wood, either, is it?

0:43:27 > 0:43:29Have a feel of the weight of it.

0:43:29 > 0:43:32- Oh, it's light!- It's light. Yeah. - That's interesting.

0:43:32 > 0:43:36- It's paper. It's papier-mache. - Is that really papier-mache?

0:43:36 > 0:43:38It's papier-mache.

0:43:38 > 0:43:42From the height of the Victorian period but it's all gone to pot.

0:43:42 > 0:43:45- It hasn't been cared for... - I see.- ..all its life.

0:43:45 > 0:43:48It's lost original decoration. It's been waxed and polished.

0:43:48 > 0:43:50It hasn't been cared for.

0:43:50 > 0:43:54It needs desperately restoring but I still love it.

0:43:54 > 0:43:57There's no price tag but armed with a list of defects, Rory is

0:43:57 > 0:44:02poised once more for some serious negotiations with dealer Denise.

0:44:02 > 0:44:04- This has caught our eye.- Right.

0:44:04 > 0:44:09- We like it that it's not in perfect condition, is it?- No.

0:44:09 > 0:44:13- It's a really sweet little table. - I like it.- It's got a charm.- Yeah.

0:44:13 > 0:44:15But we're here on business.

0:44:15 > 0:44:19- Could I walk away with that for £10 cash?- Ooh, ouch!

0:44:19 > 0:44:20SHE LAUGHS

0:44:20 > 0:44:26- We've got to start somewhere. - I could go around 30.- Ooh.- Ooh.

0:44:26 > 0:44:29You said 30 but you said 30 as if you were going to say 15.

0:44:29 > 0:44:32- That's what threw me. - Call it 20, we've got a deal.

0:44:32 > 0:44:35Though it looks like he might finally have met his match.

0:44:35 > 0:44:40- You say 20, I say 15, meet me halfway at 16.- Oh, that's good, he's good.

0:44:40 > 0:44:44- £16.- 18. Call it a deal.

0:44:44 > 0:44:48- £17.50.- Deal.- £17.50. I love you.

0:44:48 > 0:44:50Unbelievable.

0:44:50 > 0:44:55- I'll say.- It's fantastic.- I'm enjoying this. I'm getting the bug.

0:44:57 > 0:45:01Having spent a mere £17.50 on this Victorian papier-mache table,

0:45:01 > 0:45:05Rory and David have now bought their final lot, having spent

0:45:05 > 0:45:09- a total of £121.50. - See you again soon, goodbye.

0:45:09 > 0:45:12And with the shopping now finished, it's time to meet Steve

0:45:12 > 0:45:17and Christina to reveal their interesting array of artefacts.

0:45:17 > 0:45:22- Here we go.- Amaze us.- Reveal, reveal. Wayey!

0:45:22 > 0:45:26Who advised you that buying anything dead was a good idea?

0:45:26 > 0:45:28Says the woman with the coffin.

0:45:28 > 0:45:31It's olden dead. It's decorative.

0:45:31 > 0:45:33It's showing respect to the creature.

0:45:33 > 0:45:37- It doesn't look very happy. - Serene.

0:45:37 > 0:45:41How many people would love to see that on the wall of their local pub

0:45:41 > 0:45:44- above a log fire? 55.- 55. - You let me go.

0:45:44 > 0:45:49Someone turns up, fitting out a vegetarian restaurant. Huge profit.

0:45:49 > 0:45:54What about that, 1870 papier-mache occasional table with rather

0:45:54 > 0:45:56interesting cast metal duck-webbed feet.

0:45:56 > 0:45:59Yeah, what happened to the base though, that's not very good, is it?

0:45:59 > 0:46:03- Well, it's all...it's just as it is.- It's massively repaired.

0:46:03 > 0:46:05- No, no, it's got patination. - What did you pay for that?

0:46:05 > 0:46:08- It's got patination?- Patination, build up of waxes...

0:46:08 > 0:46:13- It's got a massive repair on the bottom.- Character, Christina.

0:46:13 > 0:46:16I would be surprised if you paid any more than £20 for it.

0:46:16 > 0:46:19Well, you've bought it, baby. Give us your £20.

0:46:19 > 0:46:22Well, there we go, happy days.

0:46:22 > 0:46:26I must remember that if something's old and filthy, it's got patination.

0:46:26 > 0:46:27I like that.

0:46:27 > 0:46:29Yeah, spoken like a true expert, Steve,

0:46:29 > 0:46:33- but let's see what they think of your selection.- Ready?

0:46:33 > 0:46:35- That's a coffin. - It's a coffin.- Yeah.

0:46:35 > 0:46:38You know what, I thought, it can't be. It just looks like one.

0:46:38 > 0:46:43- It really is.- It's a stage coffin.- It's a comedy coffin.

0:46:43 > 0:46:45Is there anything else that you would like to comment on,

0:46:45 > 0:46:49- anything at all?- I don't know why you bought the 21st century er...

0:46:49 > 0:46:51- What do you think it is? - That was made last Tuesday.

0:46:51 > 0:46:55- It's not heavily patinated enough. - It's the BBC News logo, isn't it?

0:46:55 > 0:46:59Yes, exactly. No, it's nice. It's a piece of garden statuary.

0:46:59 > 0:47:00It's a nice thing.

0:47:00 > 0:47:03I tell you what, it's a conversation piece.

0:47:03 > 0:47:07- We're having a conversation about it right now.- Yes, exactly.- It works.

0:47:07 > 0:47:08OK.

0:47:08 > 0:47:11Well, I seriously do not think we could have got a more

0:47:11 > 0:47:15- eclectic mix than we have got here. - Eclectic?- Well done. Yes.

0:47:15 > 0:47:17That is the word, definitely.

0:47:17 > 0:47:21Neither team seems particularly impressed by the other's purchases.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24- I was disappointed for them. - For them.- Yes.

0:47:24 > 0:47:26- I was disappointed for them. - And the boar's head.

0:47:26 > 0:47:28I find it a slightly frightening thing.

0:47:28 > 0:47:31And they tried to be very disparaging over our lovely

0:47:31 > 0:47:35- boar's head.- I know that. And they produced a coffin.- Hello.- Hello.

0:47:35 > 0:47:39- Death, death? Hello, what's this death?- What's going on there?

0:47:39 > 0:47:41You've either got to give it all or nothing.

0:47:41 > 0:47:44- What, and they've given it nothing? - Well, they've given it a little bit.

0:47:44 > 0:47:45Rory...

0:47:45 > 0:47:49- Shall we have a round of golf? - Round of golf, a great idea, yes.

0:47:51 > 0:47:54Well, there's no holding back there but who will have the last laugh

0:47:54 > 0:47:57remains to be seen as the next stop is the auction

0:47:57 > 0:48:01in the picturesque village of Langar in Nottinghamshire.

0:48:02 > 0:48:04I'm a bit worried about the boar in a way.

0:48:04 > 0:48:08I think basically it's an all or nothing situation there.

0:48:08 > 0:48:14You either want a really ferocious pig on your wall or you don't.

0:48:14 > 0:48:15And Christina really doesn't.

0:48:16 > 0:48:20So what on earth possessed you to go out and buy a boar's head?

0:48:20 > 0:48:22Well, how dare you...

0:48:22 > 0:48:25mention anything to do with my boar's head

0:48:25 > 0:48:28when you bought a blinking coffin!

0:48:28 > 0:48:29He's got you there, Christina.

0:48:30 > 0:48:33- Could you get out of our parking place?- Yeah, absolutely. Come on in.

0:48:33 > 0:48:35Loving that shirt, Rory.

0:48:35 > 0:48:38- I think he had stolen it actually from my room.- Do you think?

0:48:38 > 0:48:40But bizarrely left those trousers behind!

0:48:41 > 0:48:45- Actually, it's started, you two are late.- Yeah, you are.

0:48:45 > 0:48:46Hurry up, chaps.

0:48:48 > 0:48:51Today, we're at Henry Spencer's auctioneers for a general

0:48:51 > 0:48:55- sale with auctioneer David Ward. - I think they've done very well.

0:48:55 > 0:48:57The boar is a very interesting item.

0:48:57 > 0:49:00We've had a look at it, we think it'll probably make between £80

0:49:00 > 0:49:01and £120.

0:49:01 > 0:49:05- Hopefully that will be a good result for them.- Yikes!

0:49:05 > 0:49:08Well, the coffin is an interesting item.

0:49:08 > 0:49:10Quirky items tend to go well

0:49:10 > 0:49:15and we are probably thinking it could fetch between £40 and £100.

0:49:15 > 0:49:18With a little divine intervention.

0:49:20 > 0:49:24Rory and David had a right giggle but spent just £121.50 on five lots.

0:49:24 > 0:49:30- What shall we call the boar, Diane? - Boris.- Boris the boar.

0:49:30 > 0:49:34And no-one could accuse Steve and Christina of being boring either,

0:49:34 > 0:49:38- as they got six lots for £146. - Oh, my God!

0:49:38 > 0:49:41This is like car crash television!

0:49:41 > 0:49:45The more competitive Rory certainly came out on top at haggling

0:49:45 > 0:49:47but who will win at the all-important auction?

0:49:47 > 0:49:50- Well, good luck. Good luck.- Come on!

0:49:50 > 0:49:54First up is Steve and Christina's armillary sphere.

0:49:54 > 0:49:58We really like this one. Who will give £20 for it?

0:49:58 > 0:50:02- We've got £20 for it.- Oh!- Never! - Straight in? I can't believe it!

0:50:02 > 0:50:07- 25? We've got 30. 35? - CHRISTINA: Yes! Go on!- 35.

0:50:07 > 0:50:10- Do we see 40?- Yeah, go on! Go on!

0:50:10 > 0:50:12It's being sold at £35.

0:50:12 > 0:50:16- Blimey! That's not bad! I'll take that!- A small profit. Small profit.

0:50:16 > 0:50:19In spite of the other team's unsporting comments,

0:50:19 > 0:50:22Steve and Christina walk away with £7 profit.

0:50:22 > 0:50:26- That's a very good start, profit. Very good.- Great.

0:50:26 > 0:50:30Next up it's Rory and David's classy glasses.

0:50:30 > 0:50:32- Who's got £10 for them? - RORY: More than that!

0:50:32 > 0:50:35- Was that each?- Fiver?

0:50:37 > 0:50:42- Shall we say eight? Eight. - Come on! A very rare item.

0:50:42 > 0:50:45- We've got- 10. Very rare item.

0:50:45 > 0:50:48- So rare, never been used. - We've got 18.

0:50:48 > 0:50:51The girls will think you're fantastic if you open one of those.

0:50:51 > 0:50:55- Do they have to do this?- Not really! - Bid is at £18.

0:50:55 > 0:50:58- There has got to be a 20! - THEY GROAN

0:50:58 > 0:51:00- No!- Bad luck.

0:51:00 > 0:51:04There will be no champagne popping for those glasses today.

0:51:04 > 0:51:07- So, you lost?- We lost a little bit there.- Lost some money.

0:51:07 > 0:51:10- This is my sad face. - Aw, look at that.

0:51:12 > 0:51:15Next up is Steve's favourite item, the cigarette cards.

0:51:15 > 0:51:18- But will anyone else love them? - I've got five pounds.

0:51:18 > 0:51:21I should think so! Someone with a sense of history!

0:51:21 > 0:51:24I've got £10. Give me 12?

0:51:24 > 0:51:30- We've got 12.- Go on! Yes! Before you even seen them.

0:51:30 > 0:51:35- We've got 18.- Hey, this is good!- 20. - They're on fire. They are on fire.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38- No, no they're not. They're not on fire!- 20.

0:51:38 > 0:51:41- £20.- They are perfectly intact!

0:51:41 > 0:51:44Give me 25. 25.

0:51:45 > 0:51:48Give me 30. He says no.

0:51:48 > 0:51:52Perhaps because I've turned round. Go on, go for it. Go for it.

0:51:52 > 0:51:56- It's worth it for how to build a shelter alone.- Fantastic. Well done.

0:51:56 > 0:51:59That's a great profit for them.

0:51:59 > 0:52:02Does that mean I'm not quite as weird as I thought I was?

0:52:02 > 0:52:04DAVID: Surprising, that. Well done.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07Well, Rory got quite the deal on his signed theatre programmes

0:52:07 > 0:52:12and menus but will his efforts be rewarded?

0:52:12 > 0:52:15- Where is our £30 for it?- Go on. Morecambe and Wise, early.

0:52:15 > 0:52:18- 20.- Go on!- Tenner. - RORY: Early Morecambe and Wise!

0:52:18 > 0:52:20We've got a phone bid from Bruce Forsyth.

0:52:20 > 0:52:23£10 bid. 15? 15.

0:52:23 > 0:52:25- 20?- Come on!- 20. 25?

0:52:25 > 0:52:27- We're away! Brilliant.- 30.

0:52:27 > 0:52:30- This is early Morecambe and Wise. - Early '57!- Go on!

0:52:30 > 0:52:32THEY LAUGH

0:52:32 > 0:52:37- We've got a fresh bidder. - Another bidder! £35. Just in time.

0:52:37 > 0:52:39- Are you 40?- Go on. You'll regret it. You will.

0:52:39 > 0:52:43Any more bids? Sold to the lady at £35.

0:52:43 > 0:52:47- Sold.- Done. £25 profit. - That's very good.

0:52:47 > 0:52:50It really is. Bless Kim and her woollen shop, hey?

0:52:50 > 0:52:53- Very good. Pleased with that. - Terrific.

0:52:53 > 0:52:58Christina loves her silver, but will it bring in a blinging good profit?

0:52:58 > 0:53:02- 30.- RORY: 30? Are you kidding?

0:53:02 > 0:53:04- 20?- Solid silver.

0:53:04 > 0:53:08- £20.- They're all up now, they are going crazy.- Any advance on 20?

0:53:08 > 0:53:10I've got one in the passageway, 25.

0:53:10 > 0:53:14- 30.- 30 in scrap alone.- 35. 40? - There you go.- £40.- Go on.

0:53:16 > 0:53:19- The 45 is back in. - That's all right.- Are you 50?

0:53:19 > 0:53:21Being sold at £45.

0:53:21 > 0:53:25- RORY: Well done, auctioneer. - Yeah, well done, auctioneer!

0:53:25 > 0:53:28Well done, Steve and Christina. That's another profit racked up.

0:53:28 > 0:53:32- Admittedly a tiny profit, but a profit.- That's OK.

0:53:32 > 0:53:34Slow and steady wins the race.

0:53:34 > 0:53:37And for our next lot it's Rory and David's 19th-century

0:53:37 > 0:53:41papier-mache occasional table, with a touch of patination.

0:53:41 > 0:53:4420. I've got £20.

0:53:44 > 0:53:47- I've got 22.- Yes!- I need 25.- Go on!

0:53:47 > 0:53:50- 28. Come in at 30?- Go on! - We've got £30.

0:53:50 > 0:53:53Will you come in at 32?

0:53:53 > 0:53:55Make no mistake, it's going to be sold for...

0:53:55 > 0:53:59- Are you 32?- Way-hey!- 32. - RORY: Go, girl!

0:53:59 > 0:54:03Being sold for £32 to the lady in green.

0:54:03 > 0:54:07- Marvellous.- What did it make? - 32.- Well done.

0:54:07 > 0:54:10Another brilliant profit for Steve and Rory.

0:54:10 > 0:54:13Rory's haggling skills are really paying off.

0:54:13 > 0:54:17Even Steve finally stepped up to the haggling challenge

0:54:17 > 0:54:19with his next item.

0:54:19 > 0:54:21- Who's got £20 for it? - For your mantelpiece.

0:54:21 > 0:54:25Who's got a tenner for it? £10. Are you 12, sir?

0:54:25 > 0:54:28- 12. Are you 15?- Go on, go on, go on! That's nice!

0:54:28 > 0:54:32- Keep going, keep going, keep going.- £15.- No more?

0:54:32 > 0:54:36- It's got to be more than that! - Shall we say 18?

0:54:36 > 0:54:40- A classy item.- Lovely thing. - Any advance on £15?

0:54:40 > 0:54:42- It'll be sold at 15. - THEY GROAN

0:54:42 > 0:54:46- Our first loss. - You've lost a fiver.

0:54:47 > 0:54:49A disappointing score but not a massive loss.

0:54:51 > 0:54:55Will Rory's copper dish circa 1900 bring home another profit?

0:54:55 > 0:54:59- We've got £20 at the front of the room.- It will keep on going.

0:54:59 > 0:55:0325? We've got 25. 30, madam? We've got 25.

0:55:03 > 0:55:06- Come on!- We've got 30. 35?

0:55:06 > 0:55:1135 at the back. We've got 40. Lady, new bidder.

0:55:11 > 0:55:16We've got £40. Have we got 45? We've got 45 at the back of the room.

0:55:16 > 0:55:18- Any more bids?- Come on!

0:55:18 > 0:55:21- What did it make?- 45. - Oh, well done.

0:55:21 > 0:55:24Yep. Another great result for team Rory and David.

0:55:24 > 0:55:27I think that was well deserved. I think it was a really nice piece.

0:55:27 > 0:55:31Sporting of you, Steve. Let's hope your picture frame does as well.

0:55:31 > 0:55:34- I've got £10, front of the room.- It is well worth more, more than that.

0:55:34 > 0:55:36I've got 12 at the back. Are you 15? 15.

0:55:36 > 0:55:4018. 20. £20. Are you 25? 25. Are you 30?

0:55:40 > 0:55:43- Imagine your nephew in there. - £30!

0:55:43 > 0:55:46- Are you 35? No. - Or your grandchildren.

0:55:46 > 0:55:50- Being sold at 30.- Well done. Doubled our money.

0:55:50 > 0:55:54Both teams are bringing in the cash.

0:55:54 > 0:55:56It's hard to keep track of who's on top.

0:55:56 > 0:55:59And from a picture perfect moment to a deathly one.

0:55:59 > 0:56:03Hopefully no-one is going to corpse in the audience today.

0:56:03 > 0:56:07Right, we have a very interesting item now. It's a coffin.

0:56:07 > 0:56:10- EVIL LAUGH - Solid wood construction

0:56:10 > 0:56:12and I understand it's had one careful owner

0:56:12 > 0:56:14but never actually been used.

0:56:14 > 0:56:17- 20. I've got £20.- Oh, no!

0:56:17 > 0:56:20Of course you've got £20! Are you not feeling very well?

0:56:20 > 0:56:24- 25. 30.- Think of the Halloween money.

0:56:24 > 0:56:2635. 40. 40. 45.

0:56:26 > 0:56:28Come on, go one more.

0:56:28 > 0:56:32- 45. Being sold at 40. - Only 40!- Surely!

0:56:32 > 0:56:35THEY GROAN

0:56:35 > 0:56:38Breaking even is no mean feat but is this death

0:56:38 > 0:56:42- to their chances of winning? - Tell you what, I can be honest,

0:56:42 > 0:56:45that made much more than I ever dreamt it was going to make.

0:56:45 > 0:56:50It all rests on Rory and David's biggest purchase. Boris the boar.

0:56:50 > 0:56:53- This could be their make or break. - Come on, Boris.

0:56:53 > 0:56:56- Back of the room.- He's called Boris.

0:56:56 > 0:56:58- 90.- Come on!- 100.- Yes!

0:56:58 > 0:57:01- Come on, Boris.- You can do better than that.

0:57:01 > 0:57:04- Do we say 110?- Let's say 200.

0:57:04 > 0:57:06110?

0:57:06 > 0:57:09- Sold at 110?- No!- Come on.- 120.- Yes!

0:57:09 > 0:57:13Oh, my goodness! You are very surprised.

0:57:13 > 0:57:17- 120. Come on, then.- Go on!- You love it!- One more, you might get it.

0:57:17 > 0:57:23- Sold at 130.- Excellent. - Any advance on 130?

0:57:23 > 0:57:26- Come on!- Being sold at £130.

0:57:26 > 0:57:29- THEY CLAP - Thank you very much.

0:57:29 > 0:57:33- Unbelievable!- Absolutely amazing.

0:57:33 > 0:57:36Rory's keen eye certainly picked a winner there.

0:57:36 > 0:57:38Right, that's it. We now need to go and work of our figures.

0:57:38 > 0:57:42- Oh, no, it's not the maths time, is it?- Maths time. OK.

0:57:42 > 0:57:46Well, it's been a funny old Road Trip but the numbers are in.

0:57:46 > 0:57:49And Steve and Christina made a small profit after auction costs

0:57:49 > 0:57:54of £9.80, leaving them with £409.80.

0:57:54 > 0:57:56But, thanks largely to Boris the boar,

0:57:56 > 0:58:00Rory and David came out on top with an amazing £91.70 profit

0:58:00 > 0:58:07after costs, and a final figure of £491.70.

0:58:07 > 0:58:09A brilliant Road Trip and a fabulous victory

0:58:09 > 0:58:11with all profits going to Children In Need.

0:58:11 > 0:58:14So, you know what they say in antiques? Losers drive.

0:58:16 > 0:58:21- I cannot believe he beat me again. - I know. It's awful. It's awful.

0:58:21 > 0:58:25- See you, guys.- Stay in touch, now. - Thanks for the memories!

0:58:25 > 0:58:27We've have had a few laughs.

0:58:27 > 0:58:29It is good to see you after all these years.

0:58:29 > 0:58:32I think we've had quite a lot of fun actually, haven't we?

0:58:32 > 0:58:34We've had an indecent amount of fun.

0:58:34 > 0:58:36So, at the end of an incredible Road Trip,

0:58:36 > 0:58:39all that's left to say is thanks for coming.

0:58:39 > 0:58:41You've been a right laugh.