0:00:02 > 0:00:03The nation's favourite celebrities.
0:00:03 > 0:00:06- We are special, then, are we? - That's excellent.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Paired up with an expert.
0:00:08 > 0:00:09We're a very good team, you and me.
0:00:09 > 0:00:11And a classic car.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.
0:00:14 > 0:00:17- I've no idea what it is. - Oh, I love it.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22- Yes! - But it's no easy ride.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23THEY GASP
0:00:23 > 0:00:25There's no accounting for taste!
0:00:25 > 0:00:28Who will find a hidden gem?
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Who will take the biggest risks?
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Will anybody follow expert advice?
0:00:33 > 0:00:35- Do you like it?- No.- No.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Are you happy?- Yes, ecstatic!?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Time to put your pedal to the metal.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48Yeah!
0:00:53 > 0:00:57On this Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, we'll be having a chuckle with
0:00:57 > 0:01:01two venerable legends of comedy, Bernard Cribbins and Barry Cryer.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04When they asked me about this, and they said,
0:01:04 > 0:01:09"Who would you like to do it with?" I thought of a few people.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12- And 34 people turn me down, and then I rang you.- Yeah,
0:01:12 > 0:01:14- Yeah, I knew I wasn't first. - BERNARD LAUGHS
0:01:14 > 0:01:16You jest, Bernard. These two go way back.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Someone asked me how long we'd known each other.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22- 1962, wasn't it?- Yes, over 50 years.
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- It'll be an extremely cordial competition.- Cordial.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28And, hopefully, amusing.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Glad to hear it.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Ah, another lane.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- That was a swallow that went over there, then.- Was it?- Yes, a swallow.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39You're a bit of an ornithologist as well.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42- And birds!- Yes, and birds!
0:01:42 > 0:01:44MUSIC: The Wombling Song by Mike Batt
0:01:45 > 0:01:47In his nearly 70 years in the biz,
0:01:47 > 0:01:52Bernard Cribbins has earned his stripes as a true national treasure
0:01:52 > 0:01:55of acting and comedy, delighting audiences in everything
0:01:55 > 0:01:58from his early stage work, to modern-day Doctor Who
0:01:58 > 0:02:02and, of course, he was the voice of beloved '70s kids' TV treat,
0:02:02 > 0:02:04The Wombles.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07# Making good use of the things that we find... #
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Oh! Who's that?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12Thank you, ladies! Thank you.
0:02:12 > 0:02:14I thought we'd pulled there, Barry.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- BARRY CHUCKLES - Reverse, reverse!
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Gentlemen!
0:02:19 > 0:02:23Barry Cryer is a towering titan of British comedy.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24As a writer and performer,
0:02:24 > 0:02:26he's worked with every great legend of laughter
0:02:26 > 0:02:29from the late '50s onwards, and has written gags for everyone,
0:02:29 > 0:02:33from Bob Hope, to Morecambe and Wise.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37And spent a full four fun-packed decades on the panel of
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Radio 4 chuckle-fest I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue.
0:02:44 > 0:02:45This fine and fragrant morn,
0:02:45 > 0:02:49we're driving a classy 1984 Mercedes 280SL.
0:02:50 > 0:02:53- What do you reckon to the car, Barry? - Very smart.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Used to say about David Frost, he had an open-top car,
0:02:56 > 0:02:59I said, if it started raining, he'd press the button on the dashboard,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02- and it stopped raining! - BERNARD LAUGHS
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I like it, I like it.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Guiding these two greats on their voyage of antique discovery will be
0:03:10 > 0:03:13two strapping young auctioneers at the top of their game,
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Charles Hanson and Will Axon.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- I'm really excited about today. - It's going to be good.
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- The sun is out.- Yeah. - The roof is down.- Yes, yeah.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26- The socks are pulled up.- Good man.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28Charles and Will are piloting
0:03:28 > 0:03:33a charming little 1963 Morris Minor convertible.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Obviously, our two big men today are big names, aren't they?
0:03:36 > 0:03:40They are, big names. When I heard I was working with you...
0:03:40 > 0:03:41CHARLES LAUGHS
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- The word "legend" popped into my mind.- Get out of here!
0:03:44 > 0:03:48When you talk about Barry Cryer and the Crib meister, well,
0:03:48 > 0:03:50- they are legends, aren't they? - They are.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54With £400 to spend each,
0:03:54 > 0:03:58our pairs will journey from sunny St Albans in Hertfordshire,
0:03:58 > 0:04:03and circumnavigate the byways around our nation's capital,
0:04:03 > 0:04:05aiming for auction in the well-heeled London area
0:04:05 > 0:04:06of Twickenham.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12It's almost time for celebrities to greet experts.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- BARRY:- Should have brought my binoculars.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16I didn't know you had them.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Scan the horizon for an expert. - BERNARD LAUGHS
0:04:20 > 0:04:21And here they are!
0:04:21 > 0:04:24- I'm twitching. I get nervous. - About what?
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Meeting these legends.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Don't blow your cool before we've even started, Carlos.
0:04:28 > 0:04:33- I think I hear the dulcet tones of... - They're here, they're here!
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Heads up, salute.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Hello, there. Good morning, gentlemen.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40- BERNARD:- Stand easy. - BARRY:- Good morning, good morning.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43You take the left side. I'll go the right.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- BERNARD: Two sugars in mine, please! - Good morning.- How are you?
0:04:46 > 0:04:47The name's Hanson, Charles Hanson.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49- I'm Bernard. - Good to see you, Bernard.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Do you prefer Bernard, or Mr Cribbins?- No, Bernard, please.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54Or, hey, you, there's money involved.
0:04:54 > 0:04:55CHARLES LAUGHS
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Barry, I'm Will, anyway.- Good morning, Will, I'm Barry. Hello.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02They've already agreed that Bernard will pair with Charles,
0:05:02 > 0:05:04and Barry with Will.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07- All the best.- Yeah.- Take care.
0:05:07 > 0:05:08CHARLES CHUCKLES
0:05:08 > 0:05:09- BERNARD:- There we are.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14And they're off.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Both teams are heading to the same shop in St Albans
0:05:19 > 0:05:21to kick off their buying.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22- What is this?- Excuse me!
0:05:25 > 0:05:27- What?- It's this way, Charles!
0:05:27 > 0:05:31Where on Earth are you going, Charles? Honestly!
0:05:31 > 0:05:35- So, here we go. Off to our first shop.- I know.
0:05:35 > 0:05:38It is a learning curve, this, I shall be fascinated.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Barry doesn't drive, so Will will be chauffeuring him.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45I'm a very placid, unnervous passenger.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47So, you won't have any aggravation.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Oh, my God!
0:05:49 > 0:05:53- Look out, it's a... Hedgehog!? - BARRY CHUCKLES
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Hey, road safety's no joshing matter on the road trip, chaps.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Meanwhile, on the scenic route,
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Charles is coming out as something of a fan.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03MUSIC: The Wombling Song by Mike Batt
0:06:03 > 0:06:08To me, you are a very precious and priceless gentleman.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Oh, dear, really?- Yes.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13My childhood was summed up by The Wombles.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14You made my childhood.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17Oh, don't gush, Charles, you'll embarrass the man.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21But they're still in search of their bearings.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Now, around here is a shop, hopefully.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25So, eyes peeled.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Try the next turning.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29I don't know why.
0:06:32 > 0:06:33I think that's our shop, you know?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39- This'll do me.- It looks busy enough. And, I think... Do you know what?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42I think we've beaten the other ones here, Barry.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Go on, in you go. Get in. - Yeah, get in, get in.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48Maybe if I lock the door, we won't let them in.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50- Look, oh, boy. - It goes on, doesn't it?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Time for a good, old-fashioned browse, boys.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- You've always got to remember to look up.- Yes, that's true.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06- Not really into Picasso. Nothing personal, Pablo.- Yes?!
0:07:06 > 0:07:08WILL CHUCKLES
0:07:08 > 0:07:13What sort of loot does Barry fancy picking up today?
0:07:13 > 0:07:16At my age, now, it would be lovely to see coming that I'd go,
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- "Oh! Memories." - Well, that is perfect.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21You can relate to it.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24In a shop like this, it's likely to happen, because there's so much.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31And has Barry already spotted something
0:07:31 > 0:07:34that might get the synapses firing?
0:07:34 > 0:07:39Brains? Oh, no, dear, dear, dear! Brains. Snail, dogfish, frog,
0:07:39 > 0:07:43- pigeon and rat!- Oh, that's a must, he said, as in "not"!
0:07:43 > 0:07:45BARRY CHUCKLES
0:07:45 > 0:07:47Slightly macabre.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Yeah, pass the sick bag.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Elsewhere in the shop, there's something rather more jolly.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- Look at that!- What is that?
0:07:55 > 0:07:57- I tell you what that is, Barry. - What is it?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59That is the Rolls-Royce of deckchairs.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01I just thought, deckchair. But it's deckchair-plus.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04"Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside."
0:08:04 > 0:08:06- Vintage deckchair.- Oh, oh, yes.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Shall I... Ooh, hang on!
0:08:09 > 0:08:13Oh, ooh, I think it's got built-in suspension.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16Yeah, you get in it, and it goes boom! And this comes up.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Shall I try it?- Yeah. Give it a test drive.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Oh, dear.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Ooh... Oh. Careful, Barry.
0:08:24 > 0:08:25Ooh.
0:08:25 > 0:08:29It's a one-off. It's got an individual quality about it.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Do you know what? It's not very dear.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35On the ticket they've had 58, crossed out. 48.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39So they're going down in tenners. I think if we get that for, say,
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- £20, £25.- Yes, yeah.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45They're keen on it. So best ask dealer George what she can do.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48- I think that's George over there. - Here's George. George!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Hello, Will. - You've met my friend?
0:08:50 > 0:08:52I have indeed.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Brad Pitt. THEY LAUGH
0:08:54 > 0:08:55On a bad day!
0:08:57 > 0:08:58Ooh, I feel like a bit of a gooseberry.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00GEORGE LAUGHS
0:09:00 > 0:09:03We've spotted an item which we'd like to talk to you about.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06I would like to offer you £20 for the deckchair.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09Oh, Will! Oh, dear.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11Moment of... Shall we have some dramatic music now?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Da-doon, da-doon, da-doon..
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Diddle-diddle-diddle ddrrmm!
0:09:16 > 0:09:20- It has been here for a while, I do grant you that.- Yeah.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24But I do think that 30 would be a really good deal.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27£30?
0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Do we meet in the middle, is that how the old trick goes?- 25?
0:09:29 > 0:09:31Do we meet in the middle at £25?
0:09:31 > 0:09:36- 25, George?- If you give me a kiss on the cheek, I'll do 25.- Yay!
0:09:36 > 0:09:38- I'll do more than that. - Ooh!
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- OK. Done. - Best £25 I've ever had.- Perfect.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Barry's proving to be something of a charmer.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48And that pair have their first buy, for a bargain £25.
0:09:50 > 0:09:54Now, Bernard and Charles seem to have finally caught up.
0:09:54 > 0:09:55Come along now, chaps.
0:09:55 > 0:09:59- I think they're in there, you know. - You reckon?- I think they're in there.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Does that mean they've snatched up all the good stuff? Where are they?
0:10:04 > 0:10:08Now, I wonder how Bernard will fare in the vintage and retro shop?
0:10:09 > 0:10:13- It's what you call shabby chic. Do you like it?- No, no.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20If I said to you, what style is that, what would you say?,
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Um. Jacobean. - Yeah, absolutely.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27- But, um, done last week.- Absolutely.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Hm, you've been hiding a light under a bushel, Bernard.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- I think you're on fire. - Am I on fire?- You're on fire.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37For God's sake, put me out, it's getting warm in here.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39CHARLES CHUCKLES
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- They're reproductions. - Is there a name?- No.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44They wouldn't fit you, don't look at those.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46CHARLES LAUGHS
0:10:46 > 0:10:50But soon, they're reflecting on something that might be a contender.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52That's quite nice. It is.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55- That is nice.- It is nice, yeah.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Why does that appeal to you?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02Well, it's got "theatre" on it, which is where I come from.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06It's a decorative mirror in the Edwardian Art Nouveau style.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09I love almost these very organic and florid Art Nouveau borders.
0:11:09 > 0:11:11- I like that.- It's quite pretty.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14You couldn't comb your hair in it, mind.
0:11:14 > 0:11:18- What would you pay for it in a saleroom?- £60?- Yes, I would say
0:11:18 > 0:11:20it's worth between 40 and 60.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24- If it's below that... - Have a look.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Have a guess. - Go on.- Look at me.- 38.- Have a guess.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Oh, my God. 28.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31- Buy it.- Hey?- Buy it.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35So, they're very keen on that.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39- Right. Put it back, quick.- OK, OK. Mental note, yes?- Yes, indeed.
0:11:39 > 0:11:43- I'll sit down here on my shooting stick until you're ready.- Well done.
0:11:45 > 0:11:48Jackanory, Jackanory, Jackanory.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52I'd like to tell you a little story about a man called Charles.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I could tell you stories about Charles, Bernard!
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- I've just seen an upside-down gorilla out there, look.- Oh, yes.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00- On the roof.- Where did he come from? - I've no idea.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03- He looks like he's had a nasty fall.- Yeah.
0:12:03 > 0:12:05There's a tag on his right ear.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08- That would be a laugh.- It would be a laugh. Shall we find out?- Yes.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Charles will be Bernard's personal shopper,
0:12:10 > 0:12:13and fetch the fine fellow. Go on, Charles.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I'm going to pull him down. I'm going to jump and pull it down.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- We want a taller auctioneer. - Ready? Three, two...
0:12:18 > 0:12:19- Go on, jump. - Be careful.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24Well done. Very good.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- I've got him.- Oh, yes! Rather large, isn't it?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Let's have a look, bring it down.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- Ah, he's lovely.- Bernard.
0:12:33 > 0:12:35How sweet.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Hello, baby. How are you?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41Yes. Are you all right? Yeah, give us a wave? Hello.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Give us a kiss.
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Rargh!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46MUSIC: Mr Benn Theme Tune
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I think he's more orang-utan than gorilla, you know.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50And, as if by magic...
0:12:50 > 0:12:52He's thrown in a banana!
0:12:52 > 0:12:57- Does that come with him as well? - Yeah.- Excellent, that comes with it.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59Do you want a banana? No, I'm giving them up, make you deaf.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03Huh, dealer Ricardo can help with the mirror and gorilla.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06What's your very, very best price on this one?
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- It says 35 on it.- Erm, 25. - Will 20 do?
0:13:10 > 0:13:1320?
0:13:13 > 0:13:18- Yeah, OK.- Could you manage 20? - Yeah.- Thank you, sir, deal.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21- Thank you very much.- Thank you.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Brilliant. I'm over the moon. BERNARD CHUCKLES
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- He's ours.- Me and my buddy.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30They've landed the beast. And the mirror?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33The mirror belongs to George, and she said she would take 25.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35- That's the very best?- Yeah.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38I would say yes to that.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40- We'll take the mirror. - We'll take the mirror.- £25.
0:13:40 > 0:13:41Thanks a lot. Good job.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Deal done.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Meanwhile, Barry and Will have alighted on something
0:13:46 > 0:13:48that looks a bit of a laugh.
0:13:48 > 0:13:52- Oh, oh.- What have you found? - Mr Pickwick.- I think it is.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54And it's a teapot.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Are you a tea drinker?
0:13:56 > 0:13:57Heavily.
0:13:57 > 0:14:00It's modelled as the character Mr Pickwick
0:14:00 > 0:14:04from Charles Dickens' classic comic novel, The Pickwick Papers.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07It dates from the 1920s or 1930s.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10Oh, that would cheer me up in the morning.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Not keen, Will?
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- Oh, I know what you're thinking. - You're the boss.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- I know what you're thinking. - It's only 12 quid.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18A Lingard teapot.
0:14:18 > 0:14:23I've got this liking for things that cheer me up when I look at them.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Can I go for Mr Pickwick?
0:14:26 > 0:14:30Listen, who am I to tell you what you can and can't buy?
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Barry loves it, even if Will's not convinced.
0:14:34 > 0:14:35I'm sold on it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37- Are you all right with him?- Yeah.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Shall we take him out and meet George?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Other way, Barry!
0:14:42 > 0:14:43I need sat nav here!
0:14:43 > 0:14:46- It's this way, mate. - You see, I'm proving it!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48THEY LAUGH
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Oh, yes, there's daylight.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52- Mind the steps. - Steps, steps, steps.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- Well, George...- What have you there?
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Listen, as this is your baby, as it were,
0:14:59 > 0:15:02- I'm going to let you take the lead.- Oh, dear.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- WHISPERS:- I would start at half.
0:15:04 > 0:15:09- Well, you said... Back off.- Oh, yes, sorry, I did say this wasn't...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I didn't hear what he said.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Well...
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Nothing personal, nothing insulting, George but it's lovely.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18- A fiver.- Oh!
0:15:18 > 0:15:20He's harsher than I am, you know.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- I think he is. I think I'd rather you did it.- No.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26- WHISPERS:- You've got it, good work.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28OK, how about six?
0:15:30 > 0:15:34You have fallen in love with it, you want to pour your tea out of it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38- I've fallen in love with you, George, not Mr Pickwick.- Oh!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40It's a deal.
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Now Barry might be a haggling novice,
0:15:43 > 0:15:45but his charms won out again.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48They get Mr Pickwick for £6.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50While Will's paying up...
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- Hello!- Oh, look out.- Hat alert.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Stop spying on the opposition, Charles.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- It's our man in Havana!- Gosh. - It's our man...
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Charles, nice to see you again. - How have you been, Charles?
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- Very well, I've left your wing man, Bernard...- Where is he?
0:16:06 > 0:16:09We're just negotiating on some big objects.
0:16:09 > 0:16:10WILL GASPS
0:16:10 > 0:16:13- Are you big spending?- We are big spending.- We're spending.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- We're spending, yes.- We are popping our chest out.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18- Oh, well...- Fighting talk. - You know your own business best.
0:16:18 > 0:16:19See you later.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25- You never can tell with that boy. - No...- He's like a Labrador puppy.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- He's either going to lick you to death, or wet the carpet.- Yes.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30You never know quite where you are.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33What about that?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Bernard's found something.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Is it West German?- Yeah.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40That is where the market has really picked up.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43If there's one aspect of the sector I'm in
0:16:43 > 0:16:45where the market has taken off,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48it's for these West German pots from the 1970s.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50It's rather handsome.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52Because the design is very much about...
0:16:52 > 0:16:55What do you call this type of, it was that time and that era...
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Psychedelia?
0:16:57 > 0:17:01- Not flower power, what do you call it? The psychedelic influence.- Yeah.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Didn't I just say that?
0:17:02 > 0:17:06- It in good shape, isn't it? - Down here it could do quite well.
0:17:06 > 0:17:09That is a big lump. It's big, it's chunky...
0:17:09 > 0:17:10Then you'd better speak to Ricardo.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13There's no ticket price on the Germanic jug.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- What do you reckon?- Well, we've enjoyed your company
0:17:16 > 0:17:18and you've made our day. You can have it for £1.
0:17:19 > 0:17:23- Really? Quick, quick.- 100 pence. - Come on, quick.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Blimey! That's the deal of the century.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28That's most kind, thank you very much.
0:17:28 > 0:17:31We've enjoyed ourselves and that is the cherry on the cake.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33- It is.- Oops!- It is.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Don't do things like that! - It WAS our pot of gold.- Honestly.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Where's the monkey?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Smashing!
0:17:39 > 0:17:40See you, bye.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42A quid!
0:17:42 > 0:17:45After that dashing deal, time for a well earned sit down.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48- I quite fancy... - Well, they've got chilli con carne.
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- WILL:- We are on a roll.- OK.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54I recognise those... I recognise.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57- There they are.- Boys. You must be feeling confident.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- Time for a sit down and a chat. - I think we are very content.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05- Barry, are you enjoying yourself? - I'm delirious.- He's delirious!
0:18:07 > 0:18:09We will see you later.
0:18:09 > 0:18:12- He can teach us all something, Charles.- Absolutely.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Try and stay awake, Barry!
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Have you had your tablets?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17BARRY CHUCKLES
0:18:17 > 0:18:20There's nothing like a bit of healthy competition
0:18:20 > 0:18:22and this is nothing like it.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Now, this afternoon, Charles and Bernard are driving
0:18:28 > 0:18:32off to the environs of the village of Duxford in Cambridgeshire.
0:18:34 > 0:18:39They're on their way to the Imperial War Museum's site at RAF Duxford,
0:18:39 > 0:18:42a complex of armed services' museums where they are going to spend
0:18:42 > 0:18:46the afternoon exploring a subject close to Bernard's heart.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51Do you know I have always wanted to come to Duxford.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54I was in the Parachute Regiment for my National Service
0:18:54 > 0:18:59from '47 to '49. I absolutely loved it.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02I served in Palestine and went out to Germany.
0:19:02 > 0:19:06My National Service was memorable, to say the least.
0:19:06 > 0:19:09I'll say. Although he is known as the cuddly voice of The Wombles,
0:19:09 > 0:19:13Bernard, indeed, served in one of the toughest
0:19:13 > 0:19:15regiments in the British Armed Forces.
0:19:15 > 0:19:17DRUMS BEAT
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Oh, dear.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21- We could be in for a long walk. - OK, get on with it.
0:19:21 > 0:19:24MUSIC: 633 Squadron Theme composed by Ron Goodwin
0:19:24 > 0:19:26He and Charles are heading into Airborne Assault,
0:19:26 > 0:19:30the museum of the Parachute Regiment and airborne forces where
0:19:30 > 0:19:33they're meeting assistant curator, Bob Hilton.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Are you Bob?- I'm Bob.
0:19:35 > 0:19:37- Hello Bob, I'm Bernard. - Nice to meet you.- This is Charles.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Hi, Bob, Charles Hanson, good to see you.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43- Right, where are we going to go, Bob? - Down here.- Thank you.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Bernard's time in the Parachute Regiment began in 1947,
0:19:48 > 0:19:51just after the end of the Second World War
0:19:51 > 0:19:54but it was only during that conflict that the idea of forming
0:19:54 > 0:19:58a British Army regiment, designed to be deployed by air, was first conceived.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02The German army had pioneered an elite fighting,
0:20:02 > 0:20:06who were sent into battle by parachute, paratroopers
0:20:06 > 0:20:10and they had proved devastatingly effective.
0:20:10 > 0:20:14- What were they called, Fallschirmjager.- Fallschirmjager.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18Their stunning action on the 10th May 1940,
0:20:18 > 0:20:21where they landed by glider and parachute at various bridges
0:20:21 > 0:20:23and fortresses along the French and Belgian border
0:20:23 > 0:20:27and overrun the garrisons in a very, very short space of time.
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Prime Minister Winston Churchill took note of the enemy's success.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35It was those reports that got back to Churchill that led him
0:20:35 > 0:20:40to call for a force of 5,000 men
0:20:40 > 0:20:43and that's a copy of the original letter
0:20:43 > 0:20:45that he wrote to the chiefs of staff.
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- "..pray let me have a note from the War Office on the subject."- Yes.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51That means, quick, now.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55One of the legendary figures of the early days of British paratroops
0:20:55 > 0:20:59was Regimental Sergeant Major J C Lord,
0:20:59 > 0:21:02whose exemplary World War II service,
0:21:02 > 0:21:04included the brave protection of his troops
0:21:04 > 0:21:07while a prisoner of war in a German prisoner of war camp.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11He took over the camp Stalag XIB at Fallingbostel
0:21:11 > 0:21:14and he ended up running it and the German commandant
0:21:14 > 0:21:18- used to have to knock on his door before he came in.- He was terrific.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22After the war RSM Lord was posted to the Parachute Regiment's
0:21:22 > 0:21:26training facilities where Bernard himself was trained.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28I actually spoke with him.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32He was the RSM of the training and holding battalion when I was in Aldershot.
0:21:32 > 0:21:36One day I had been naughty on parade and, you know, picked my nose,
0:21:36 > 0:21:39or whatever it was, and I was told by my Corporal Drake.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41He said, "Rifle over your head, double round the square."
0:21:41 > 0:21:44The square was about 18 miles long.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I am going bing-bong, bing-bong.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49I hear that very high voice that Mr Lord had.
0:21:49 > 0:21:51I went over, in front of him.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53"What have you been doing?" "Idle on parade, sir."
0:21:53 > 0:21:55"Carry on!" And off I went.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57Those were the words I had with him.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59What a memory, that was, where did that come from?
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Excellent. Oh, dear.
0:22:01 > 0:22:05That's not the only trip down memory lane that Bob has in store today.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08We have got a bit of a surprise.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11Really? I'm not jumping, I've got bad knees.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15This is the report on Course No 221,
0:22:15 > 0:22:2019th of July 1947 to 13th August 1947.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- On page number two... - I don't believe it.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Here we have...
0:22:25 > 0:22:27Private Cribbins.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29- "Good performer."- That's you.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32"Well disciplined, a likely NCO."
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Golly, top marks, Cribbins.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37So you were really, what, ten out of ten, Bernard.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- Well, nine out of ten.- OK.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43Nobody is ten out of ten, unless you are very, very good.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Well, that's lovely. Can I steal that?
0:22:45 > 0:22:48- I think we have done a copy. - Oh, that's brilliant.
0:22:48 > 0:22:51- That amazing, isn't it?- I shall put it on my CV.- Absolutely!
0:22:51 > 0:22:54"Good performer." What, him?
0:22:54 > 0:22:55"Well disciplined?" Get out of it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57MUSIC: 633 Squadron Theme composed by Ron Goodwin
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Hey, the report card proves you were, Bernard.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04I think it's time you imparted some of that military discipline
0:23:04 > 0:23:06to the next generation, don't you?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08SHOUTS: Come on, Charles, what do you think you're doing?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Left, right, left right.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13You're waddling, you look like a duck. Get a move on!
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I've never seen such a sloppy effort in my life.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19The front view is awful but the back view is even worse.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Left, right, left, right... Come on, move your sorry backside!
0:23:23 > 0:23:25You tell 'em, Bernard.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34Meanwhile, Barry and Will are driving onwards.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- So, Barry, I'm intrigued to know...- Yes.
0:23:38 > 0:23:43..how you first got into, shall we call it, show business?
0:23:43 > 0:23:48I had no plan and blue eyes got to university and blew it.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49What you mean, you blew it?
0:23:49 > 0:23:51I chased girls
0:23:51 > 0:23:56and was not unknown in the bar and my first year results showed it.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59I felt ashamed and let everybody down.
0:23:59 > 0:24:03We did this charity show called the Rag Review and a guy saw me
0:24:03 > 0:24:07- and offered me work. - Wow!- Lucky, or what?
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I've had this thing happenstance, serendipity or whatever,
0:24:10 > 0:24:12of being in the right place at the right time.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16Let's hope Barry carries some of the good fortune on to the next shop,
0:24:16 > 0:24:21as they head for the town of Berkhamsted in Hertfordshire.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Well, here we are.- This is all very pleasant, isn't it?
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Barry and Will are heading into Home & Colonial,
0:24:27 > 0:24:31a shop that deals in antiques and interior design.
0:24:31 > 0:24:35They still have a generous £369 left to spend.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37This is all very... This is the 20th century.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41I think half of this stuff is younger than you are, Barry.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44Everything's younger than me! What are you talking about?
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Are you into all this sort of 20th century stuff?
0:24:46 > 0:24:53- Were you a man of the '60s?- Yes. They say If you can't remember the...
0:24:53 > 0:24:55If you remember the... You weren't there. What was that quote?
0:24:55 > 0:24:58- What are you going to say? - THEY LAUGH
0:24:59 > 0:25:03Soon enough they've spotted something.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07- What are these? You said you wanted something ceramic-y.- Yeah.
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Bit of sort of French faience, I would have said.
0:25:11 > 0:25:15Faience is the French type of tin glazed pottery.
0:25:15 > 0:25:18- They've got something about them, haven't they?- Yeah.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- Nice pair of candlesticks.- Oh, yeah.
0:25:21 > 0:25:25They're marked up at £49, which I don't think it's a huge amount.
0:25:25 > 0:25:28So that's one distinct possibility but they're browsing on.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33If they can get past lovely shopkeepers, Eileen and Jenny.
0:25:33 > 0:25:38We've been rumbled. We would make rubbish shoplifters, wouldn't we?
0:25:38 > 0:25:42- Keep walking. Keep walking, Will. - You distract them, Barry!
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Oh, by the way...- That shaggy dog story you told me earlier!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48THEY LAUGH
0:25:48 > 0:25:52A truncheon. "Bucks Police".
0:25:52 > 0:25:56You need a truncheon voucher with that.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59WILL LAUGHS Dear, oh, dear. Have I no shame?
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Nothing wrong with a lovely pun, I always say.
0:26:03 > 0:26:05What is this?
0:26:05 > 0:26:09Looks like some sort of oversized candle box of sorts.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- Let me have a look on this, Will. - What does it say?
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- You're not going to believe this. - Tell me.- "Baguette box".
0:26:18 > 0:26:24- A baguette box? I don't believe it! - Oh, boy.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- A baguette box. - That's a bit singular.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30- HE SNIFFS - It doesn't smell of baguette.
0:26:30 > 0:26:32BARRY LAUGHS
0:26:32 > 0:26:35And it's French. And so we realised we've got a theme emerging.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37We've got a theme going with the French.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39Mais, oui.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44Ticket price on the second piece of Gallic je ne sais quoi is £45.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47- Allons-y.- OK.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49Let's see what Eileen and Jenny have to say.
0:26:49 > 0:26:52Of course, the boys are looking for a discount.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56- Well, let's say we'll do 10% for you.- Come, come!
0:26:56 > 0:27:0210%! We're not regular trade! This is Barry Cryer!
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Barry, I beg your pardon.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07In that case, Barry, we'll do 5%. Is that OK?
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- THEY LAUGH - Touche!
0:27:09 > 0:27:12Ticket price on both lots combined is £94.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16We're going to come in with a cheeky offer of...
0:27:18 > 0:27:23- Shall I do the dirty work?- Go on, do the dirty work.- £50 for both.
0:27:23 > 0:27:2585.
0:27:25 > 0:27:28Shall we say £80? A nice round number? £80.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31And then we stand a chance at 80 quid, I think, almost.
0:27:31 > 0:27:33- We stand a chance.- Come on, 80. - And you get the candlesticks.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35It's been great. No, it's been good fun.
0:27:35 > 0:27:39I think that's a fair discount. Thank you.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43£80 for two lots and more kisses all round. How terribly continental!
0:27:43 > 0:27:47- But as an encore... - They're going out for dinner
0:27:47 > 0:27:49and she's in the bathroom trying on a new dress.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52She came out and said to her husband, "Does my bum look big in this?"
0:27:52 > 0:27:55He said, "Be fair, it's quite a small bathroom!"
0:27:55 > 0:27:57THEY LAUGH
0:27:57 > 0:28:01As they say, always leave them laughing.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05- Or at least, leave them... - THEY HUM
0:28:07 > 0:28:11- I feel very French all of a sudden. - Lovely. Gallic mood.
0:28:11 > 0:28:14And with that last daring buy it's the end of a jam-packed
0:28:14 > 0:28:18first day on the trip. Night-night, chaps.
0:28:19 > 0:28:23But before you know it, the summer sun has arisen and Charles
0:28:23 > 0:28:26and Will are back in the car and ready to rumble.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
0:28:29 > 0:28:31If the tough know where they're going.
0:28:31 > 0:28:37- I don't know where we're going. - Ha-ha! Hang on, where's me map?
0:28:39 > 0:28:42- I've lost me map. - Situation normal here, then.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46Meanwhile, our celebrities are miles ahead
0:28:46 > 0:28:51of the whippersnappers and reflecting on the trip so far.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Funny job, this, isn't it?
0:28:53 > 0:28:57Looking at old stuff and making fortunes out of it?
0:28:57 > 0:29:00I spend my life looking at old jokes.
0:29:00 > 0:29:02- Yes!- Evaluating old jokes.
0:29:02 > 0:29:04Antique humour.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06"This was first used by Oliver Cromwell!"
0:29:08 > 0:29:12And just slightly more late than him...
0:29:12 > 0:29:14They're already here.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16- That's their car.- Where are they?
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Morning. Oh, and this is Will.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22- Hello, Will. Good morning. - You know how to live, don't you?
0:29:22 > 0:29:27- Good morning. He's MY expert. - Morning, skipper, how are you?
0:29:27 > 0:29:30How are you, skipper? Good to see you.
0:29:30 > 0:29:33- Is that the time? - It is. Best get on the road.
0:29:34 > 0:29:39So far Bernard and Charles have spent £46 on three items.
0:29:39 > 0:29:43The Art Nouveau mirror, the German jug and the stuffed gorilla.
0:29:43 > 0:29:48So, they've got a whopping £354 left to spend today.
0:29:48 > 0:29:51Barry and Will have spent £111 on four lots.
0:29:51 > 0:29:56The deckchair, the Pickwickian teapot, French candlesticks
0:29:56 > 0:29:58and the baguette box.
0:29:58 > 0:30:00So they have £289 still in hand.
0:30:02 > 0:30:06Now, Will and Barry are back in the Morris Minor.
0:30:06 > 0:30:09So, Barry, today we've got a bit of a treat for you.
0:30:09 > 0:30:12- I hope it's a bit of a treat for you.- What is this treat?
0:30:12 > 0:30:14We are going to a museum.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17But not any old museum, the Museum of Comedy.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Oh, boy! I'm looking forward to this.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24I'm looking forward to it and I must say, what a great...
0:30:24 > 0:30:29- What a legend to turn up with, as well!- Who?
0:30:29 > 0:30:32I don't know. I think we're picking someone up on the way.
0:30:32 > 0:30:35You're learning from the comedy master, Will.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38- I've got a joke for you. - Go on, then.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41- Who's the most relaxed bloke in the hospital?- I have no idea.
0:30:41 > 0:30:45- Who is the most relaxed bloke in the hospital?- The ultrasound guy.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47THEY LAUGH
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Actually, that wasn't that bad!
0:30:49 > 0:30:53They're driving to the central London district of Bloomsbury.
0:30:54 > 0:30:59This is a lovely day. Lovely day. Oh, what have we here?
0:30:59 > 0:31:04They are indeed strolling off towards the Museum of Comedy.
0:31:05 > 0:31:08You two don't half walk funnililily!
0:31:09 > 0:31:12- They're meeting assistant curator, David.- Hello.
0:31:12 > 0:31:14- Hi.- Hi, there. I'm Will.
0:31:14 > 0:31:18- I don't need to introduce this man to you, do I?- You do not, sir.
0:31:19 > 0:31:22Barry and Will are visiting the Museum of Comedy on the very
0:31:22 > 0:31:27week it first opens to the public. How's that for VIP access?
0:31:27 > 0:31:30It houses costumes, scripts, props and all manner of memorabilia
0:31:30 > 0:31:33relating to the serious history of silly old comedy.
0:31:35 > 0:31:40Incongruously, it's also housed in the former crypt of a church.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43I've died in bigger places than this! THEY LAUGH
0:31:44 > 0:31:47But this is where comedy legends live on.
0:31:47 > 0:31:51They are going to see some schmutter which belonged to comedy star
0:31:51 > 0:31:53of the early 20th century, Max Miller.
0:31:55 > 0:32:02Ah! Miller! Recreated! This is a sort of coat and outfit he used to wear.
0:32:02 > 0:32:06That's actually in the photos there. Wearing it while he's performing.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08The white hat.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11Miller was the brightest star in music hall comedy
0:32:11 > 0:32:13between the 1930s and 1950s.
0:32:13 > 0:32:18Beloved by millions for his cheeky gags and sartorial flair.
0:32:18 > 0:32:22Miller was so distinctive, coming on the stage.
0:32:22 > 0:32:25Full technicolour act coming on. It was terrific.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28You wouldn't have forgotten him, would you, if you went to see him?
0:32:28 > 0:32:31And Barry himself has an early memory of seeing Miller's
0:32:31 > 0:32:33gleeful and risque act.
0:32:33 > 0:32:36My mother took me to see him and I was astonished.
0:32:36 > 0:32:40He was at Leeds Empire Theatre and even then,
0:32:40 > 0:32:43I was getting a flavour of the double entendre.
0:32:43 > 0:32:46He was a naughty boy, you know? The awful twinkling blue eyes.
0:32:46 > 0:32:48My mother was loving it.
0:32:48 > 0:32:52She was twinkling away because he was the bad boy.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57From one pioneering comedy rebel to another, they're now going to
0:32:57 > 0:33:02check out some items that belonged to another hero of Barry's.
0:33:02 > 0:33:05He's a legend of television comedy from a slightly earlier era
0:33:05 > 0:33:08and one he actually worked with, Tommy Cooper.
0:33:10 > 0:33:13- Who made these?- Tommy Cooper made them himself.- He made them?
0:33:13 > 0:33:17Yeah, he was a carpenter so he made the majority of his own props.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21- I never knew that!- I remember this prop from his sketch.
0:33:21 > 0:33:26- Shall we practice?- Yes. - So, you walk on stage.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28Ta-da!
0:33:29 > 0:33:32Cooper's act often disguised his great skills
0:33:32 > 0:33:35as a magician behind the laugh-baiting premise
0:33:35 > 0:33:39of failed tricks or unexpected transformations.
0:33:39 > 0:33:42- This looks like a proper magician's prop.- This is a magician's prop.
0:33:42 > 0:33:45But I'm not entirely sure what it does, apart from the fact
0:33:45 > 0:33:48we're not really supposed to use it cos it breaks, like...
0:33:48 > 0:33:52- Oh!- Ah! And is this another prop here?
0:33:52 > 0:33:54A magic trick where things suddenly appear out of nowhere.
0:33:54 > 0:33:58Which is... It's all very nice. It's all very easy.
0:33:58 > 0:34:00THEY LAUGH AND CLAP Oh, yeah!
0:34:00 > 0:34:03- Great. Wonderful.- Perfect.
0:34:03 > 0:34:06- This could be good.- OK.
0:34:07 > 0:34:10- Way-hey! - Tommy would be proud.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12Having had their last laugh,
0:34:12 > 0:34:15it's time for Barry and Will to hit the road, Jack.
0:34:15 > 0:34:20Terrific. He's in the room. It's wonderful.
0:34:20 > 0:34:23Meanwhile, Bernard and Charles are heading for the town
0:34:23 > 0:34:25of East Molesey in Surrey.
0:34:25 > 0:34:29And Charles is a bit starstruck, bless him.
0:34:29 > 0:34:33Could you, just now, just for my golden age of being a young boy,
0:34:33 > 0:34:36- give me some Womble narrative. - Ha-ha!
0:34:36 > 0:34:39AS ORINOCO: I must tell Uncle Bulgaria when I get back to the burrow.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43AS UNCLE BULGARIA: Yes, Orinoco, I can see you and you're not working.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45You're being lazy again.
0:34:45 > 0:34:49AS ORINOCO: Oh, no. Sorry, Uncle Bulgaria.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51And then Madame Cholet will come in, you know...
0:34:51 > 0:34:55AS CHOLET: Monsieur Bulgaria, what would you like for lunch today?
0:34:55 > 0:34:57Glorious!
0:34:59 > 0:35:02They are strolling off into Bridge Road Antiques
0:35:02 > 0:35:06with £354 still in hand and meeting dealer, Sue.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09- I'm Bernard.- Hello. Nice to meet you. Hi.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12Nice to get out of that sun. It's quite warm out there.
0:35:15 > 0:35:19- Wow, look at this! Wonderful! - It's an emporium, isn't it?
0:35:19 > 0:35:22In contrast to yesterday's Bernard way of buying,
0:35:22 > 0:35:27Charles is determined to take the reins and find some real antiques.
0:35:27 > 0:35:30I've been showing off all the time you see, and now it's his turn.
0:35:30 > 0:35:35Believe me, Bernard, Charles never lacks a chance to show off.
0:35:35 > 0:35:39- Where are we going now?- Let's go... Follow me.- Forwards.- Follow me.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42Look at that!
0:35:42 > 0:35:45Look at that! This is highbrow Edwardian silver.
0:35:45 > 0:35:49- What we call neo-rococo art. - I knew him actually.
0:35:49 > 0:35:51- I was in a play with him once. - Neo-rococo?
0:35:51 > 0:35:54- Yeah. He's a lovely clown.- Never heard of him.- A very funny man.
0:35:54 > 0:35:58And so are you, Bernard, even if Charles is a bit slow on the uptake!
0:35:58 > 0:36:03They found an Edwardian solid silver bonbon basket, as you do.
0:36:04 > 0:36:08- Sheffield hallmarked, the year... - 1905.
0:36:08 > 0:36:13- Made by James Dixon and Sons.- Yes. Are they well-known?- Yeah, they are.
0:36:13 > 0:36:18Ticket price is a hefty £220 but it is the kind of quality
0:36:18 > 0:36:22- antique that Charles wanted to buy. - That is extraordinary, isn't it?
0:36:22 > 0:36:24- Isn't it? - It's owned by a dealer off-site.
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- Do you want me to give him a ring? - Yeah, why not?
0:36:27 > 0:36:30Give him a ring and ask for his very, very best price.
0:36:30 > 0:36:32Just tell him I've got a bad leg and I need help.
0:36:34 > 0:36:38All right, then. I'll tell them that. OK. Bye.
0:36:38 > 0:36:41He said 170.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45I'm leaving it entirely in your hands because you're the expert.
0:36:45 > 0:36:48Do you know, I'm really happy, based on the quality, Sue,
0:36:48 > 0:36:51and with my mate, to take a chance on this.
0:36:51 > 0:36:54- I think 170, we're going to say going, going...- Thank you. Deal.
0:36:54 > 0:36:59- Gone. Thank you very much, Sue, we're over the moon.- I like it.
0:36:59 > 0:37:04It's a nice item but it's almost half of their total budget. Crumbs!
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Are you impressed with me now? Are you impressed?
0:37:07 > 0:37:10I'm more than impressed. I'm deafened.
0:37:12 > 0:37:14You and me both, Bernard.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17Bernard. There's one thing over here as well.
0:37:17 > 0:37:20- You're a dog lover, aren't you? - Yes, indeed, yes.
0:37:20 > 0:37:23I quite like this here. The Victorian alabaster carved box.
0:37:23 > 0:37:25- Do you like that? - With a spaniel on top.- Yes.
0:37:25 > 0:37:29- It's quite sweet, isn't it? - What would you use that for?
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Probably you might use it as a jewellery box or maybe
0:37:31 > 0:37:34a little dressing table box.
0:37:34 > 0:37:38- Give me a date on that.- Thursday. - Thursday!
0:37:38 > 0:37:40Ha-ha! Spot on, Bernard!
0:37:40 > 0:37:44It dates from any Thursday you care to mention in the 1880s.
0:37:44 > 0:37:49- Ticket price is £23. What's he like? - I quite like that.- Go on. Do a deal.
0:37:49 > 0:37:54- Go on.- I quite like it.- If you can get that for £20, I say buy it.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56- Would you really?- Yes.
0:37:56 > 0:37:59I would knock three off it just because I'm mean and horrid.
0:37:59 > 0:38:03- Nobody is listening, are they? - She's over there.- Oh. Hello, Sue!
0:38:03 > 0:38:07Are you all right? Yes. Would you do a 20 on that for me?
0:38:09 > 0:38:12- I think she would definitely do 20. - She would?
0:38:12 > 0:38:15We're very happy with that. £20. Thank you.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17- We'll take that as well. - Thank you.- Lovely.
0:38:17 > 0:38:20Another deal sealed on a real antique.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22But they're not finished yet.
0:38:22 > 0:38:25- It's just lurking over there. - Having a lurk.
0:38:25 > 0:38:28- Having a lurk.- Picture? - It's got four legs.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30- It's a chair.- Yes.
0:38:30 > 0:38:32Good guess.
0:38:32 > 0:38:35- If you're browsing, Charles, I shall sit down.- Fine.
0:38:35 > 0:38:37HE WHISTLES Yes.
0:38:37 > 0:38:40I've got a good view here. It is pretty, isn't it?
0:38:40 > 0:38:43- Mind the top.- Oops. Sorry, Sue.- Mind the bottom.- Sorry, Sue.
0:38:43 > 0:38:46You're terribly clumsy. It is pretty.
0:38:46 > 0:38:48Isn't that a gorgeous chair?
0:38:49 > 0:38:54That really is a spectacular bit of furniture.
0:38:54 > 0:38:59It's an Edwardian mahogany bedroom chair, dating from around 1905.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01But the quality is superb. So good, in fact...
0:39:01 > 0:39:06- Beautifully done.- Not to everyone's taste.- Beautifully done. Look at it.
0:39:06 > 0:39:09- We checked the construction. - It's knockout.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11HE KNOCKS ON WOOD Oh!
0:39:12 > 0:39:14So, they definitely want the chair. But at what price?
0:39:14 > 0:39:17On the ticket is £80.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20Do your stuff. Come on, negotiate.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23- Sue, what's your best price? - I could have said that!
0:39:23 > 0:39:28- It's got to be worth 60. - Look at me! Look at me!- 60?
0:39:28 > 0:39:31- No?- No. It's got to be more than that.- 61?
0:39:32 > 0:39:35- Keep going. Keep going.- 65.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39- I would think she would probably do 65.- Really?
0:39:39 > 0:39:43Success! Three real antiques in the bag. Good work, chaps.
0:39:46 > 0:39:49Now, having spent the morning larking about,
0:39:49 > 0:39:52Barry and Will are still on the hunt for another item
0:39:52 > 0:39:54but they are feeling confident.
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Do you think we've already got this in the bag?
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Well, I won't say it again. Yes, I will. Yes, we have.
0:40:02 > 0:40:05They're travelling to the London district of Battersea,
0:40:05 > 0:40:08where they're off to Northcote Road antiques market.
0:40:11 > 0:40:14We'll do a quick circuit, Barry, and just see if there's anything.
0:40:14 > 0:40:16- Sure.- Gramophone.
0:40:16 > 0:40:18Hang on a minute.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23- Oh! Oh, I say! - Do you quite like that?
0:40:23 > 0:40:27Do you like that? I love these. I know exactly what it is.
0:40:28 > 0:40:32This is called a gull vase made for Holmegaard.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36And it's very fashionable and trendy at the moment.
0:40:36 > 0:40:40This Danish glass vase probably dates from the 1960s.
0:40:40 > 0:40:43Ticket price is £55. Time to speak to dealer, Sue.
0:40:43 > 0:40:47They're all called Sue, actually.
0:40:47 > 0:40:52- Sue, love. First thought is 30. - 40. Do it for 40?
0:40:52 > 0:40:5755 down to 40. I think that's a fair discount in the circumstances.
0:40:57 > 0:41:01- Will, I just had a thought.- Tell me. - We should accept it.
0:41:01 > 0:41:03THEY LAUGH
0:41:03 > 0:41:05- TRAY CLATTERS - Barry...that was a drum roll.
0:41:05 > 0:41:07Barry, shake on it.
0:41:07 > 0:41:12- You got the kiss for free. - Thank you.- Thank you very much.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15The tag team haggling approach has won
0:41:15 > 0:41:19another deal around and everyone is all bought up.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22- Yes!- Yes!- We're done!
0:41:22 > 0:41:24And what does that mean?
0:41:24 > 0:41:28Time for both teams to unveil their purchases, of course.
0:41:28 > 0:41:30I've done my hamstring.
0:41:30 > 0:41:33Bernard and Charles are up first.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36This, I reckon, is the exciting bit, isn't it?
0:41:36 > 0:41:39THEY SING SUSPENSEFUL TUNE
0:41:39 > 0:41:41You were both out of tune there, do you know that?
0:41:41 > 0:41:43- We were meant to be. - Are we going first?
0:41:43 > 0:41:47Yes. Ta-da!
0:41:47 > 0:41:48Look at that!
0:41:48 > 0:41:51They combined the German jug and Art Nouveau mirror
0:41:51 > 0:41:54- into one lot for the auction. - Which we like.
0:41:54 > 0:41:58- A lot of jug for your money. - Absolutely. 1970s.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03Next item, what I thrive on is the lovely silver pierced basket.
0:42:03 > 0:42:07- Barry, that's from Sheffield, 1905. - Yes, indeed. Very close to me.
0:42:07 > 0:42:09- Hallmarked.- It smacks of quality.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12- And then this very lovely... - Alabaster casket. Victorian.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15- I love Alabaster.- I love the sheep on top.
0:42:15 > 0:42:20- It's not, it's a spaniel. - It's a spaniel! It's not a sheep! - Thanks for coming!
0:42:20 > 0:42:24A sheep! Honestly! But there is one final beast.
0:42:24 > 0:42:29- Here, he's down there.- He's having a kip cos he's bored with everything.
0:42:29 > 0:42:32- Saying hello to you as well. - What a face!- Isn't he nice?
0:42:32 > 0:42:34He knows who the winners are.
0:42:34 > 0:42:37Barry, I'm going to ask you, are you impressed with our wares?
0:42:37 > 0:42:41- Yes, in a sense. - Don't get carried away there, Barry!
0:42:41 > 0:42:44- Are we going to reveal? - Was it a good partnership buying?
0:42:44 > 0:42:46We had fun. We agreed on everything.
0:42:46 > 0:42:48I'm going to watch this from a sitting position
0:42:48 > 0:42:51- because I know it's going to be extraordinary.- I'll give you a hand.
0:42:51 > 0:42:54- Oh, I say!- I'll give you a hand. - I say!
0:42:56 > 0:42:58- Hang on, I haven't finished yet. - Now, this is the bit.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Da-da-da-da... The weather's right for it.
0:43:02 > 0:43:04Oh, that's great. Oh, yes.
0:43:04 > 0:43:07And it elevates when you get in, and sit in it.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09What are we talking about, elevating?
0:43:09 > 0:43:12Oh, I see! A chaise short.
0:43:12 > 0:43:15What about this camp gentleman with his hand on his hip?
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Now, who is that camp gentleman?
0:43:17 > 0:43:19- Turn him round have a good look. - Let's have a look.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21- Mr Pickwick.- Correct. - Oh, well done, sir!
0:43:21 > 0:43:23I'm intrigued by this. What is it?
0:43:23 > 0:43:26- Now, one thing at a time, are we doing...?- No, we've done Mr Pickwick.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28He's out of it. What is this?
0:43:28 > 0:43:31- This is what I want to see.- Ah, yes! This is what intrigued us.
0:43:31 > 0:43:33- Do you know what it was marked up as?- What?
0:43:33 > 0:43:36- A baguette box.- Really?- Baguette box! Isn't that wonderful?
0:43:36 > 0:43:38Have you ever heard of such a thing?
0:43:38 > 0:43:42- I think it's for carrying ferrets about... No.- Wrong.- It is.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44- No. A ferret box? No, sorry. - Do you think it's French?
0:43:44 > 0:43:45It must be, mustn't it?
0:43:45 > 0:43:46- Yeah.- Baguette.- Yeah.
0:43:46 > 0:43:48I've had enough of this - I'm having a drink.
0:43:48 > 0:43:49Get it down you, lad!
0:43:49 > 0:43:51Yeah, help yourself, Bernard.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53- CHARLES:- I think, guys, all I can say is,
0:43:53 > 0:43:55the competition is brewing,
0:43:55 > 0:43:58I'm really excited - Barry, good luck.
0:43:58 > 0:43:59And to you, Charles.
0:43:59 > 0:44:00You might need it.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03Charles, may I say thank you?
0:44:03 > 0:44:04Pleasure.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07- Well done, Will.- Bernie.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09But while the other team's backs are turned,
0:44:09 > 0:44:10what do they really think?
0:44:10 > 0:44:15I thought they pursued a rather good mediocre standard, quite frankly.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17I'm so sorry to sound smug.
0:44:17 > 0:44:18Who wants a baguette box?
0:44:18 > 0:44:22- Er, people with a lot of baguettes that they want to forget.- Yeah...
0:44:22 > 0:44:25- Let the battle commence in the saleroom.- Let the battle commence.
0:44:25 > 0:44:26May the best team win.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28I'm feeling rather emotional!
0:44:28 > 0:44:30- SOBS:- Me too, Barry!
0:44:30 > 0:44:34On this Road Trip, they've sniggered all the way from St Albans
0:44:34 > 0:44:37to end up tittering here in Twickenham, London.
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Will and Charles are motoring to auction...
0:44:39 > 0:44:41- Welcome to Twickenham. - Thank you very much.
0:44:41 > 0:44:43Thanks for having me.
0:44:43 > 0:44:45..as are Bernard and Barry.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48- BERNARD MIMICS CHAUFFEUR:- These are the back streets of Twickenham, sir.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50Yes, Cribbins, yes.
0:44:50 > 0:44:52Just off the High Street.
0:44:52 > 0:44:55Get your act together.
0:44:55 > 0:44:58Twickenham's famed as the home of the England rugby team,
0:44:58 > 0:45:02and the site of the largest rugby union stadium in the world.
0:45:02 > 0:45:04I think we're nearly there now, Barry.
0:45:04 > 0:45:06- Nearly-nearly.- Nearly.
0:45:08 > 0:45:11- They're not here yet, are they? - Do you think they've got lost?
0:45:11 > 0:45:14Oh, here they are, look.
0:45:14 > 0:45:15THEY CHUCKLE
0:45:15 > 0:45:17Good evening!
0:45:17 > 0:45:19You may joke, Barry, but it IS royalty.
0:45:19 > 0:45:21The driver's very good.
0:45:22 > 0:45:24- Hello.- How are you, sir?
0:45:24 > 0:45:27- Well, I'm better now I'm out of that car.- Very good!
0:45:27 > 0:45:30They're all piling into High Road Auctions,
0:45:30 > 0:45:34where auctioneer David Holmes will today be presiding.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36But before first gavel-strike,
0:45:36 > 0:45:39what does he think of the two teams' lots?
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Deck chair - nice thing.
0:45:42 > 0:45:46Early 20th century, I think this one's made out of beech.
0:45:46 > 0:45:49We've got the weather for it today - let's hope somebody loves it.
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Er, a gorilla cushion...
0:45:51 > 0:45:53If there's any...perhaps three to five-year-olds
0:45:53 > 0:45:56with a bank account in Twickenham, we're home and dry.
0:45:58 > 0:46:01Bernard and Charles started this Road Trip with £400
0:46:01 > 0:46:05and spent £301 exactly on five lots,
0:46:05 > 0:46:10while Barry and Will spent £151 exactly,
0:46:10 > 0:46:13and also have five lots to show for it.
0:46:13 > 0:46:14Come on, guys.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15We're on the front row tonight...
0:46:15 > 0:46:18- Good evening, how do you do? - ..for the big night.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22- Excellent!- There ought to be a stand-up before the start.
0:46:22 > 0:46:23What time's the show start?
0:46:23 > 0:46:26- Time the ice creams arrived. - The ice creams are coming round!
0:46:26 > 0:46:28So, how are you feeling? Are you feeling confident?
0:46:30 > 0:46:31What a silly question!
0:46:31 > 0:46:32Of course not.
0:46:32 > 0:46:35I refuse to be complacent.
0:46:35 > 0:46:38Arrogant, yes. Complacent, never.
0:46:38 > 0:46:40Well, wake me up when it's finished, will you?
0:46:40 > 0:46:41Good luck, big man.
0:46:41 > 0:46:43- Thanks for coming. - Thank you very much.
0:46:43 > 0:46:44- Good luck.- Good luck, Baz.
0:46:44 > 0:46:46You're not Baz, you're Will!
0:46:46 > 0:46:48The auction's about to begin. Oh, the excitement!
0:46:48 > 0:46:49Enjoy it.
0:46:49 > 0:46:54First up is Bernard and Charles' alabaster box...
0:46:54 > 0:46:56mit spaniel.
0:46:56 > 0:46:57Come on! Let's go.
0:46:57 > 0:46:59Exactly, come along. £20, the maiden bid.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Take five again.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04I've got a maiden bid with the gentleman there at 20. Five again?
0:47:04 > 0:47:05- 25.- Yes!- £30.
0:47:05 > 0:47:07- Five again.- Yes!- 40.
0:47:07 > 0:47:08Oh, it IS into profit!
0:47:08 > 0:47:12Gentleman's bid on my right, at £40 only.
0:47:12 > 0:47:16Five. 50. 45, the lady's bid.
0:47:16 > 0:47:1850 the gentleman's bid. Five again.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21- £50.- 50 earth pounds?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23- Calm down. - It's going at 50, isn't it?
0:47:23 > 0:47:25Done at 50. GAVEL BANGS
0:47:25 > 0:47:28- Give me a high-five. - BERNARD WHISTLES
0:47:28 > 0:47:30"Calm down," he says!
0:47:30 > 0:47:31That's top dog.
0:47:31 > 0:47:34And it puts Bernard and Charles in the lead.
0:47:34 > 0:47:36Give me a handshake.
0:47:38 > 0:47:39Well done.
0:47:39 > 0:47:41We'll give them one, Barry. We'll give them one.
0:47:41 > 0:47:44Lull them into a false sense of security.
0:47:45 > 0:47:48Next, it's the Danish glass vase for Barry and Will.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50- Very nice.- Very nice.- Very nice.
0:47:50 > 0:47:54- We have a comment in the front row. Thank you, sir.- Get it sold.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56£10, get it started. Where's the bid? Thank you.
0:47:56 > 0:47:5815 on it.
0:47:58 > 0:48:00- Come on, the internet.- £20, sir.
0:48:00 > 0:48:01£20 is bid.
0:48:01 > 0:48:05Five again. It's the gentleman in the doorway at £20 only.
0:48:05 > 0:48:06I'll take five on this lot.
0:48:06 > 0:48:11Any further bids? Your bid, sir. Any bids online? Are we done at 20?
0:48:11 > 0:48:13I'm going to get my coat, Barry.
0:48:13 > 0:48:14I know. GAVEL BANGS
0:48:14 > 0:48:16- Oh, dear! - Wow, that's a disappointment.
0:48:16 > 0:48:17That IS a disappointment.
0:48:17 > 0:48:20Unlucky, but both everything to play for.
0:48:21 > 0:48:25Never mind. I enjoyed owning it briefly.
0:48:25 > 0:48:26It's our gorilla, isn't it?
0:48:26 > 0:48:28Um...yeah, the gorilla.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30Your funky gibbon.
0:48:32 > 0:48:33It's not a gibbon.
0:48:33 > 0:48:34What is a gibbon?
0:48:34 > 0:48:37For goodness' sake. Much bigger than a gibbon.
0:48:37 > 0:48:39And it's the wrong colour.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41- It's an orang-utan. - I think you might be right.
0:48:41 > 0:48:45Indeed, it's the funky orang-utan next.
0:48:45 > 0:48:47This lady seems to like it.
0:48:47 > 0:48:48Go on, hug it.
0:48:48 > 0:48:50BERNARD WHISTLES
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Star lot of the show.
0:48:52 > 0:48:53Lot number 73.
0:48:53 > 0:48:55Sit! Sit!
0:48:55 > 0:48:57Star lot of the show.
0:48:57 > 0:48:59He's complete with his banana.
0:48:59 > 0:49:03Somebody suggested a dog bed, thought it was a fantastic idea.
0:49:03 > 0:49:04- Yep.- "Somebody"?
0:49:04 > 0:49:06Bid me £30 for it.
0:49:06 > 0:49:09I'm sure you know where this one comes from. £30, only.
0:49:09 > 0:49:12Thank you, £30, sir. 35 on that lot.
0:49:12 > 0:49:13Yes, yes!
0:49:13 > 0:49:17Anybody else want to join in with this lot? The orang-utan.
0:49:17 > 0:49:18LAUGHTER
0:49:18 > 0:49:21- Come on! - £30. I have a maiden bid.
0:49:21 > 0:49:22Don't listen to a word of it.
0:49:22 > 0:49:25It'd be a lovely dog bed! Absolutely marvellous as a dog bed,
0:49:25 > 0:49:28whether you've got a St Bernard or a Cairn Terrier. Beautiful.
0:49:29 > 0:49:31Who WAS that?
0:49:31 > 0:49:33- Would you like the hammer? - No, I wouldn't. No, no.
0:49:33 > 0:49:35£30, the maiden bid. Take five on that lot.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37I promised the judge I would never use a hammer again.
0:49:37 > 0:49:40Fair enough. £30 the maiden bid. Are we done?
0:49:40 > 0:49:41£30 the maiden bid.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43One more.
0:49:43 > 0:49:44Sh!
0:49:44 > 0:49:46Done at 30... GAVEL BANGS
0:49:46 > 0:49:47£10 profit.
0:49:47 > 0:49:48Well done, chaps.
0:49:48 > 0:49:49Grudgingly, but, yes.
0:49:49 > 0:49:51He's the king of the swingers.
0:49:51 > 0:49:54Thanks in part to Bernard's showmanship,
0:49:54 > 0:49:57they're building a solid advantage.
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Where does a 20-stone gorilla sleep?
0:49:59 > 0:50:00Don't know, where?
0:50:00 > 0:50:01BOTH: Anywhere he likes.
0:50:02 > 0:50:05The old ones - hah! - are the best, boys.
0:50:05 > 0:50:09Now it's Bernard and Charles' Edwardian mahogany chair.
0:50:09 > 0:50:10Start me at 50 for this one.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12Lovely side chair for your bedroom.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14- £50 for it.- Beautiful chair. - Super chair.
0:50:14 > 0:50:16- Oh...- £20, it's no money. Get it started.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18Thank you, sir. Five again.
0:50:18 > 0:50:2025. 30. Five again.
0:50:20 > 0:50:21£40. Five again.
0:50:21 > 0:50:23- WILL:- It's only got three legs, Charles.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25Standing there - I'll take five on this lot.
0:50:25 > 0:50:27- That's cheap. - Any bids for the internet?
0:50:27 > 0:50:29- Your bid, sir, at 40.- That's a shame.
0:50:29 > 0:50:32- Final time, fair warning... WILL:- Bang that hammer.
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Done at 40... GAVEL BANGS
0:50:34 > 0:50:36- Oh, no!- Upset him...
0:50:36 > 0:50:38- Sorry.- It's all right.
0:50:38 > 0:50:40£40. It's their first loss, Barry. First loss.
0:50:40 > 0:50:45- That chair threatens to unseat them. - HE CHUCKLES
0:50:45 > 0:50:47One for Barry and Will, now.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49Their Mr Pickwick teapot.
0:50:49 > 0:50:51But will it be the crowd's pick?
0:50:51 > 0:50:54£20 for the Lingard. I'm tempted myself.
0:50:54 > 0:50:56- Novelty teapot. - Are we tempted, guys?
0:50:56 > 0:50:58Bid me £10 for it. £10 is bid.
0:50:58 > 0:50:5915 on this one.
0:50:59 > 0:51:00£10 only.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02That's cheap, Barry.
0:51:02 > 0:51:0415 on that? 15, thank you, sir.
0:51:04 > 0:51:0620, new buyer.
0:51:06 > 0:51:07Five again, sir.
0:51:07 > 0:51:11£25. We're not asking the earth, are we? £20 the bid there.
0:51:11 > 0:51:13Mr Cryer chose this.
0:51:13 > 0:51:15£25, sir?
0:51:15 > 0:51:17- Thank you very much. - Oh, yes, well done, sir.
0:51:17 > 0:51:18Who was that?
0:51:18 > 0:51:2020, 30. Five again, sir?
0:51:20 > 0:51:21It's only money.
0:51:21 > 0:51:23£30 the bid. I'll take five again.
0:51:23 > 0:51:25Are we done?
0:51:25 > 0:51:27- Are you sure?- Absolutely.
0:51:27 > 0:51:28£30, final time. Done at 30...
0:51:28 > 0:51:29GAVEL BANGS
0:51:29 > 0:51:30Wow.
0:51:30 > 0:51:32May I say thank you?
0:51:36 > 0:51:38He's a little teapot,
0:51:38 > 0:51:41and he's put Barry and Will firmly back in the game.
0:51:41 > 0:51:43Good pick, Barry.
0:51:43 > 0:51:44Are we pleased with that?
0:51:44 > 0:51:48Pleased? That's the world record price for a Mr Pickwick teapot.
0:51:50 > 0:51:54It's French faience candlesticks now for Baz and Will.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57£20, get them started. Who's going to bid on these?
0:51:57 > 0:51:59Was that a bid, sir? I'll take 20 on these.
0:51:59 > 0:52:02- Surely!- French faience candlesticks, a pair of them in a lot?!
0:52:02 > 0:52:03- What?!- £20 only.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05- Well done.- Shut up, you!
0:52:05 > 0:52:07I'll take five on this one.
0:52:07 > 0:52:09I have a maiden bid. 25.
0:52:09 > 0:52:1030.
0:52:10 > 0:52:11£30, sir?
0:52:11 > 0:52:13Don't lose them for a fiver.
0:52:13 > 0:52:15£25 the gentleman there. Take 30 on them.
0:52:15 > 0:52:17£25.
0:52:17 > 0:52:18Oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:52:18 > 0:52:20I think I'd better just leave it to you, Barry.
0:52:20 > 0:52:2125...
0:52:21 > 0:52:23That was the excitement.
0:52:23 > 0:52:26- GAVEL BANGS - Oh, I felt that. Through the heart!
0:52:26 > 0:52:27Oh, quel dommage.
0:52:28 > 0:52:32Next up, it's the job lot of jug and Art Nouveau mirror
0:52:32 > 0:52:33for Bernard and Charles.
0:52:33 > 0:52:37And it comes with an Art Nouveau style mirror as well.
0:52:37 > 0:52:38Bid me £50 for it.
0:52:38 > 0:52:41Super. The large ewer, the vase, there. Bid me £50, guys.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44£20, get it started. Who's got a bid in it?
0:52:44 > 0:52:46The German pottery. £20, thank you, madam.
0:52:46 > 0:52:49- Five again. 25.- Come on.- 30.
0:52:49 > 0:52:50Are we done, guys? £30.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Last chance - any bids online?
0:52:52 > 0:52:53Done at 30...
0:52:53 > 0:52:55GAVEL BANGS
0:52:55 > 0:52:57I think you might have wiped your mouth with that lot.
0:52:57 > 0:52:58Exactly.
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Another profit.
0:53:00 > 0:53:01Lovely juggly.
0:53:01 > 0:53:03HE CHUCKLES
0:53:03 > 0:53:07But will the baguette box bag a profit for Barry and Will?
0:53:07 > 0:53:0920. Who's going to bid?
0:53:09 > 0:53:10Oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:53:10 > 0:53:11Nobody like it?
0:53:11 > 0:53:13- £20 only.- Show me another one! - Exactly.
0:53:13 > 0:53:16- You ever heard of one before? - Show me another one!
0:53:16 > 0:53:18Maiden bid. Take five on that lot.
0:53:18 > 0:53:2025. 30.
0:53:20 > 0:53:23Thank you very much. Five again, sir. BARRY: Oh, dear.
0:53:23 > 0:53:25- 35. 40.- Go on!
0:53:25 > 0:53:26£35 at the back, there.
0:53:26 > 0:53:27Take 40 on it.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30The baguette box, final time, I'm selling.
0:53:30 > 0:53:3135...
0:53:31 > 0:53:33GAVEL BANGS
0:53:33 > 0:53:34Thank you, sir. Well done.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36Well done. 35...
0:53:38 > 0:53:39Who bought it?
0:53:39 > 0:53:41Well done, sir.
0:53:42 > 0:53:43Saved from disaster.
0:53:45 > 0:53:49The auctioneer thought it shone, but will the crowd take a shine?
0:53:49 > 0:53:50It's the deckchair.
0:53:51 > 0:53:53£25 was a bargain.
0:53:53 > 0:53:54It was.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56We had to work hard for it.
0:53:56 > 0:53:59Barry was giving kisses away like there was no tomorrow.
0:53:59 > 0:54:00What?
0:54:02 > 0:54:04And it also comes rather handily
0:54:04 > 0:54:06with a beside-the-seaside postcard
0:54:06 > 0:54:09signed and inscribed by Mr Barry Cryer.
0:54:09 > 0:54:10Oh, does it, now?!
0:54:10 > 0:54:11That was sneaky.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13The heavyweight champion of the world!
0:54:13 > 0:54:16I like it. I think it's a fun object, I really like it.
0:54:16 > 0:54:18- £50, get it started.- Surely!
0:54:18 > 0:54:20Take it home. This is the evening to enjoy it.
0:54:20 > 0:54:21£20, it's cheap.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23Bid, five again.
0:54:23 > 0:54:24£20. Five, 30.
0:54:24 > 0:54:25Five again.
0:54:25 > 0:54:2735. 40. Five again.
0:54:27 > 0:54:28£50 for it.
0:54:28 > 0:54:30£45 only?
0:54:30 > 0:54:32Well done, you've done it.
0:54:32 > 0:54:34£60, sir.
0:54:34 > 0:54:36- The postcard's worth that.- Yes.
0:54:36 > 0:54:37£55 only?
0:54:37 > 0:54:39Take 60 on that lot.
0:54:39 > 0:54:40- 60, five again.- Oh!
0:54:40 > 0:54:43Back of the room. £70, sir?
0:54:43 > 0:54:45It's no money at 65 at the back.
0:54:45 > 0:54:46I'll 70 from you, gentleman bid.
0:54:46 > 0:54:50Squeezing every penny out of them, he's earning his commission.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53I'll take five - with the postcard signed by Mr Cryer.
0:54:53 > 0:54:55He's doing well for us here, Barry.
0:54:55 > 0:54:56£70, I have a bid on my left.
0:54:56 > 0:54:58- I'll take five on it.- Good bid.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00It's only £5, sir.
0:55:00 > 0:55:02- It's your last chance.- Come on!
0:55:02 > 0:55:05What a warm day. I can see you reclining with your Pimm's.
0:55:05 > 0:55:09£70 only. It's your last chance, I'm going to sell it.
0:55:09 > 0:55:10- Are we done at 70? - He's done us proud.
0:55:10 > 0:55:12You'll regret this for the rest of your life.
0:55:12 > 0:55:13Done at 70... GAVEL BANGS
0:55:13 > 0:55:16He's done us proud. Well done, thank you, sir.
0:55:16 > 0:55:18- Brilliant.- Thank you.
0:55:18 > 0:55:19Yes!
0:55:19 > 0:55:24A smashing profit on that means happy days for Barry and Will.
0:55:24 > 0:55:25Well, it comes down to this.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27Impeccable lack of taste.
0:55:27 > 0:55:28Thanks a lot.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30- Charles...- Who is that?
0:55:30 > 0:55:32I don't know, he's just...
0:55:32 > 0:55:36So, everything hangs on Bernard and Charles' most costly punt -
0:55:36 > 0:55:38the solid silver bowl.
0:55:40 > 0:55:43Bid me £100 for it.
0:55:43 > 0:55:44It's dead.
0:55:44 > 0:55:45The room's dead.
0:55:45 > 0:55:47£50, get it started.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49Charles, put your hand up, Charles. Put your hand up.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51£50 for it.
0:55:51 > 0:55:52Crumbs.
0:55:52 > 0:55:54- Oh, frightening. - This is frightening.
0:55:54 > 0:55:55It is.
0:55:55 > 0:55:58Thank you very much. £50 the maiden bid. Bid me 60 on it.
0:55:58 > 0:56:01- £50...- Well, that's life. You win some, you lose some.
0:56:01 > 0:56:02Take 60 on it.
0:56:02 > 0:56:03Charles...
0:56:03 > 0:56:04I'll get me hat.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06Has everybody gone to sleep? Is it the heat?
0:56:06 > 0:56:0860 bid. 70?
0:56:08 > 0:56:1180. 90.
0:56:11 > 0:56:12Five?
0:56:12 > 0:56:17Sir, this is the bargain of probably, I think, five years.
0:56:17 > 0:56:20£85. 90 I'll take on it.
0:56:20 > 0:56:23This is worth £150 every day.
0:56:23 > 0:56:25I have £85 only.
0:56:25 > 0:56:26I'll take 90 on it.
0:56:26 > 0:56:28The Dixon bowl.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30It makes you want to give up,
0:56:30 > 0:56:31and do something else for a living.
0:56:31 > 0:56:33Don't give Charles ideas.
0:56:33 > 0:56:35Are we done at £85 only?
0:56:35 > 0:56:36Oh, yes!
0:56:36 > 0:56:3890. Five again.
0:56:38 > 0:56:39It's very cheap, sir.
0:56:39 > 0:56:4195. 100.
0:56:41 > 0:56:44- 100. Five again.- Come on, sir.
0:56:44 > 0:56:45105. 110?
0:56:45 > 0:56:47Was that a bid, sir?
0:56:47 > 0:56:48110. 115?
0:56:48 > 0:56:51115. 120?
0:56:51 > 0:56:54£115. It's your last chance.
0:56:54 > 0:56:55It's the bargain of the year.
0:56:55 > 0:56:57- At £115 only...- Bing, bang, bosh.
0:56:57 > 0:56:59GAVEL BANGS
0:56:59 > 0:57:01- Auctioneer, thank you.- Well done. - Brilliant auctioneering.
0:57:01 > 0:57:03Brilliant, yep.
0:57:04 > 0:57:05I think you've cleaned us.
0:57:05 > 0:57:07An emotional moment.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10I haven't done the maths - Charles, may I say, well done, sir.
0:57:10 > 0:57:13It's time out. Good night.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16A sterling performance from our auctioneer
0:57:16 > 0:57:17drives a more respectable price.
0:57:17 > 0:57:19Shall we go and work out the figures?
0:57:19 > 0:57:20Yes, I think so.
0:57:20 > 0:57:21Over a nice cup of tea.
0:57:21 > 0:57:22A stiff drink.
0:57:22 > 0:57:25Bend down - bend down walking out.
0:57:25 > 0:57:26Go on, after you, sir.
0:57:26 > 0:57:29- Thank you very much. - Come on, Charles.
0:57:29 > 0:57:30Age before beauty.
0:57:30 > 0:57:32You're quite right. Well done, gents. Thank you.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35And these consummate showmen get a hand from the crowd.
0:57:35 > 0:57:37- Oh, no!- Well done.
0:57:37 > 0:57:39Thanks a lot.
0:57:39 > 0:57:40We was robbed.
0:57:40 > 0:57:43Bernard and Charles started with £400.
0:57:43 > 0:57:47After auction costs they made an unlucky loss of £83.70
0:57:47 > 0:57:49and end today with...
0:57:54 > 0:57:57..while Barry and Will also started with £400.
0:57:57 > 0:58:01They made a small loss of £3.40, ending with...
0:58:04 > 0:58:06They are truly today's victors.
0:58:06 > 0:58:09So, congratulations, Baz and Will.
0:58:10 > 0:58:12It was all Barry's lots that made the money.
0:58:12 > 0:58:13It's my round, now.
0:58:13 > 0:58:15- Quite right! - THEY CHEER
0:58:15 > 0:58:18- Well, gents, I hope you've had fun. - I did enjoy it.- Yes.
0:58:18 > 0:58:20- I hope you enjoyed yourselves. - More than we expected.
0:58:20 > 0:58:22I always find that, too, Barry.
0:58:22 > 0:58:24HORNS HONK
0:58:26 > 0:58:28- Listen, Baz.- Yes, Boz.
0:58:28 > 0:58:30It's been lovely seeing you for these few days.
0:58:30 > 0:58:32I couldn't agree more.
0:58:32 > 0:58:34THEY CHUCKLE