0:00:02 > 0:00:03'The nation's favourite celebrities...'
0:00:03 > 0:00:08- We're special, then, are we? - That's excellent.- '..paired up with an expert...'
0:00:08 > 0:00:12- That deserves a high-five. - '..and a classic car.
0:00:12 > 0:00:16- 'Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques...'- I have no idea what it is.
0:00:16 > 0:00:20- Oh, I love it.- '..the aim, to make the biggest profit at auction...'
0:00:20 > 0:00:25- Yes!- '..but it's no easy ride.' - There's no accounting for taste.
0:00:25 > 0:00:30'Who will find a hidden gem? Who will take the biggest risks?
0:00:30 > 0:00:35- 'Will anybody follow expert advice?' - Do you like them?- No.
0:00:35 > 0:00:39- 'There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.'- Are you happy?
0:00:39 > 0:00:43- Yes, ecstatic.- 'Time to put your pedal to the metal.
0:00:43 > 0:00:45'This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.
0:00:47 > 0:00:48'Yeah!'
0:00:52 > 0:00:54'Who'd drive in a car like this?'
0:00:54 > 0:00:56- Come along, Christopher.- 'Aha!'
0:00:56 > 0:00:58- Oh!- I love it!
0:00:58 > 0:01:02- It's a Triumph Herald.- This is a bit of a triumph for us!
0:01:02 > 0:01:04LAUGHTER
0:01:04 > 0:01:05Yes!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Yes. Today's nicely-turned-out celebrities and friends
0:01:10 > 0:01:14are Lesley Joseph and Christopher Biggins.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Here we go.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18I have one complaint. It's not pink.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Lesley is known to the nation as Dorien,
0:01:22 > 0:01:26the Chigwell jezebel from TV's Birds Of A Feather...
0:01:26 > 0:01:28This is Essex.
0:01:28 > 0:01:33Yes. My sort of adopted county. I is like an Essex girl now.
0:01:33 > 0:01:36..while Christopher's range includes everything from playing
0:01:36 > 0:01:41Emperor Nero in I, Claudius to cult classic Rentaghost.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Not famous for his driving roles, however.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48- There is such a backlog of traffic behind us.- Is there?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51It's hysterical. It's going back for miles.
0:01:51 > 0:01:52Both have form, though,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56when it comes the serious business of celebrity competition.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59Especially King of the Jungle Christopher.
0:01:59 > 0:02:00I don't mind as long as I beat you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03LAUGHTER
0:02:03 > 0:02:06They're big in panto, too, which has not escaped the notice
0:02:06 > 0:02:11of today's experts, auctioneers Mark Stacey and James Braxton.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14You and Biggy are going to get on like a house on fire.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17- What, like a pair of pantomime dames?- Yes, exactly.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19This could be the big break!
0:02:21 > 0:02:25With £400 apiece, celebrities and experts are making their way
0:02:25 > 0:02:29through the Essex countryside in a 1980s Ford Capri
0:02:29 > 0:02:31and a 1960s Triumph Vitesse...
0:02:31 > 0:02:33slowly.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37And we're hoping that because they maybe might like us just
0:02:37 > 0:02:41- a little bit, they might give us a really good price.- Yes, exactly.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- On the other hand, they might not.- They might hate us!
0:02:44 > 0:02:49Yep, fame can cut both ways. Best behaviour, now.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Our trip starts in Sawbridgeworth,
0:02:51 > 0:02:53just over the Hertfordshire border
0:02:53 > 0:02:56and then takes an anticlockwise meander around the north
0:02:56 > 0:03:00of the capital before returning for a West London auction at Chiswick.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03I wonder who is going to go with who?
0:03:03 > 0:03:07I don't know why but I just look at you and I think you
0:03:07 > 0:03:09and Lesley would be birds of a feather.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11'Oh, I don't think he gets it, Mark.'
0:03:11 > 0:03:16- Oh, oh, James, look out behind us. - Well, good morning, gentleman!
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- Good morning! How are you? - Very good. How are you?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24- We've had a very good journey.- Have you?- So, what are we going to do?
0:03:24 > 0:03:26What are we going to do? Who would like to go with who?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Well, I think we have paired up. - I think this is it.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32I think we have actually naturally paired up, so shall we stay like this?
0:03:32 > 0:03:37- Are we the perfect pairing? - We're the perfect pairing. - Especially on height. Let's go.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41'So, an extremely short walk to the first shop.'
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- OK. Where shall we go? Straight on? - Let's go straight on.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52- Let's get rid of them.- Let's go down here, then.- 'Plenty of room.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54'There shouldn't be too much stepping on each other's toes.'
0:03:54 > 0:03:56This is my idea of heaven!
0:03:57 > 0:04:01'Time for each expert to discover exactly what his celebrity
0:04:01 > 0:04:02'wants to get out of here.'
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- I like china.- Yep. - I love little silver things.
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I think we want to go for cabinets.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11You see, you've got a good variety here.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Very pretty little silver purse with swags and bows.
0:04:13 > 0:04:15But £195 is much too much.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19- 'Lesley has definitely done this before.'- Do you like...?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21No, I don't.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24LAUGHTER
0:04:24 > 0:04:28(I quite like this. He won't like it, though.)
0:04:28 > 0:04:32- You don't mind me being blunt?- No, I don't mind you being blunt at all.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- (I do.) Now, I like that. I think it's quite fun.- 'Oh, lordy!'
0:04:36 > 0:04:39- Come on, find something nice! - I'm trying to.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42- I don't think you're trying hard enough.- I'm sorry.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Honestly, I could have got a really good person to be on this show with.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48'Now, now! Remember, best behaviour.'
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- I quite like that!- 'At last! Now, what about Lesley and James?'
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Small things. Attractive things. - I think small but beautiful.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Small but old. Small and blingy. Small and bright.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05- 'That's their mantra, then.' - See, £300 for that...
0:05:05 > 0:05:06Yeah.
0:05:06 > 0:05:09And there's a jug and six tumblers but...
0:05:09 > 0:05:12- It's a lot and not a particularly fine one, either.- No, it isn't.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14'She shows definite promise, you know.
0:05:14 > 0:05:16'Meanwhile, peace has broken out elsewhere.'
0:05:16 > 0:05:20- This is rather interesting.- Yes. - I love the colour.- I do too.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23- That iridescent green. - What exactly is it?
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Well, it is a figure of two deer, I think.- Yes.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Not two old dears.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32Will it be expensive? Will it be dear?
0:05:32 > 0:05:33LAUGHTER
0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Let's get those in early.- Is it possible we can open this one here?
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Yes, certainly.- We want to have a look at the two deer here.- OK.
0:05:40 > 0:05:46- Is it china?- It is. It's porcelain. - That's interesting, isn't it?
0:05:46 > 0:05:47It's a lovely colour.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52- It's quite unusual. - But I'm not sure about that base.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Because they are making modern versions of these now.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57These were made in the Art Deco period.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- I think it might be a more modern one.- Oh, I see.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02But it is something we might consider.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04- Shall we just keep it in... - Yes. Absolutely.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07- ..the back of our head?- You don't know how much we could get that for?
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Actually, this lady is away on holiday
0:06:09 > 0:06:13- so we'll make a decision for her. - A fiver?- No. Sorry.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16- Possibly a little bit more than that.- 'Steady on.
0:06:16 > 0:06:20- 'Any more of that and you may be asked to leave.'- What are you doing?
0:06:20 > 0:06:25- It will be something rude.- 'How could he possibly guess?'- Calm down!
0:06:27 > 0:06:30- There's nothing really exciting here. - No, it's not, is there?
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- Apart from us, of course! - Of course.- That goes without saying.
0:06:34 > 0:06:40- 'In a quieter corner, James has unearthed something.' - Is that stamps?
0:06:40 > 0:06:42'It's not remotely blingy, though.'
0:06:42 > 0:06:46- Is that real stamps or is that all printed?- Nick! We want you!
0:06:46 > 0:06:49- You have caught me eating biscuits.- 'Ooh, crumbs!'
0:06:49 > 0:06:55We have found a very unusual coffee table. Classic. What is that?
0:06:55 > 0:06:59'70s, '80s coffee table
0:06:59 > 0:07:03but somebody has put underneath the coffee table load of stamps.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07'Just as well he used to be a porter.'
0:07:07 > 0:07:13- That is actually really rather good. - Isn't it fun?- 55.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16- We can do better than that.- We can do a lot better than that.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19Can we just check that it's quite... I mean,
0:07:19 > 0:07:21it needs to be solid.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23But it's a working coffee table.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26There is no such thing as an old coffee table.
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- It's actually really fun, isn't it? - Just to warn you - two screws missing
0:07:29 > 0:07:32- and an odd screw there on this side.- Oh, no!
0:07:32 > 0:07:36- I don't think that's a problem. - That is a deal-breaker.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38It would be a deal softener.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41I just want to... just in case I make an absolute
0:07:41 > 0:07:45- fool of myself, I do want to reassure myself...- Or a fool of me.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47- 'More to the point!' - They are actual stamps.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50- I think they definitely are. - They absolutely 100% are.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53- I've never seen something like that.- 'So, Mr Nick...'
0:07:53 > 0:07:56- I shall do some phone calls. - Will you do some phone calls and let us know?
0:07:56 > 0:08:00We're looking about 20, Nick. For heavily damaged...
0:08:00 > 0:08:02'Slight exaggeration, James.'
0:08:03 > 0:08:06- We don't like all of the stamps. - 'Frank, Lesley, eh?
0:08:06 > 0:08:10- 'I think she's joking.' - It's good fun. It's somebody using their noddle.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Give me high-five.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Well done.- 'Nick has news.'- 25?
0:08:16 > 0:08:20Would that be...? Are we getting there?
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Do you think there is even more movement, then, Nick? Hesitation.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- What about 20? - See if you can get it for 20?
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- 'Time for Nick to make one more plea, then.'- For you, yes.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Lovely! I'm celebrating with a cup of tea!
0:08:37 > 0:08:38'Cheers, you two!'
0:08:38 > 0:08:42Quietly. Because there are eyes around us, Nick. Quietly.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45- Thank you very much indeed.- Thank you very much indeed. Thank you.
0:08:45 > 0:08:50- Thank you for looking after us. - 'First buy to Lesley and James for £20.
0:08:50 > 0:08:55- 'Ah, now, that is familiar!' - I just love the colour.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I love the flowers which are halfway up.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01I love the orange down below the yellow. I love everything.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02It is very, very 1930s, isn't it?
0:09:02 > 0:09:05I would have thought that was quite commercial, too.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08- It is quite commercial.- To buy. - It's a lemonade set, I think.
0:09:08 > 0:09:12- It's a lot of money. - 'Yes, the ticket price is £300.
0:09:12 > 0:09:14'Far too much for their rivals.'
0:09:14 > 0:09:17We have got a combination of techniques, haven't we?
0:09:17 > 0:09:19We've got hand-painting and transfer printing.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21This is transfer printed, I think.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24But it's very much in the style of that very famous designer,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27- Clarice Cliff.- Vibrant, isn't it? Very vibrant.
0:09:27 > 0:09:30- Very vibrant and this is very much her shape.- 'Maybe.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32'But it's clearly not the real thing, Mark.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37- 'Even if your celebrity is smitten.' - Christopher is really sold on this.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41Is he? So you need me to really, really get a good price?
0:09:41 > 0:09:45- You know, this is...- Seriously. - OK, I will see what I can do.
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Thank you very much.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Would you accept 150 if she came down?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Oh, yes, I think we'd accept £150.- Exactly.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54'That would be quite a reduction. Anything a bit cheaper, you two?'
0:09:54 > 0:09:58- So it is that one over there. - What was it you wanted to see?
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- The bronze boar.- This one?
0:10:01 > 0:10:04- I'm working with one, so I thought I would see a bronze of one.- Oh, ouch!
0:10:08 > 0:10:10You're forgiven.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12LAUGHTER
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Now, is that bronze? It's not terribly heavy, is it?
0:10:16 > 0:10:20- No, but what else would it be? - That's true.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- I think it is.- I think it's got a lovely face.
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- I think it's got a lovely face, I really like it.- What price is it?
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- What price is it?- The dealer's got 85 on it.- Oh...
0:10:29 > 0:10:33He's not very good on trade, but we can try and beat him down for you.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Oh-h. Not good on trade.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38- Unfortunately.- That means that he doesn't like giving big discounts.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40- 'Bad luck.'- Oh-h.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Are you sure you're all right carrying that,
0:10:42 > 0:10:45- because I am here to help.- Yes. LAUGHTER
0:10:45 > 0:10:49'Sounds like anything better than about 10% off is down to Polly and the team.'
0:10:49 > 0:10:52The boar - I can only go down to 75.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54- That is so boring. - What would you pay for it?
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- In a perfect world, I'd want to pay 50 quid.- Yeah.
0:10:57 > 0:10:59SHE LAUGHS
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Was that...?- Were you laughing?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- No, no, I went "Oooh!"- You laughed.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05I'll confess, I did laugh.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Yes, I did. Nick is going to try again for you.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12- He's not trying very hard, is he?- Oh-h!
0:11:12 > 0:11:15- Thank you, appreciate it!- Yay! You got another five.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Five!
0:11:17 > 0:11:19You're not happy, are you?
0:11:19 > 0:11:20NICK: I got it down to 70.
0:11:20 > 0:11:24'That's the best but Nick's still not managed to speak to the
0:11:24 > 0:11:27'dealer who owns the lemonade set yet.'
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Just rings and rings.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- They could ring us back. - Yes, or could we ring you?
0:11:32 > 0:11:36- Would you mind trying? - Because we'd love to get it.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- Could you try on the hour every hour? - We'll carry on ringing all day.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- Would you?- Nick, you are marvellous.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43So what are we going to do about this little boar?
0:11:43 > 0:11:47- I think we should go for it.- I think we should.- Cos you love it.- I do. I do like it.
0:11:47 > 0:11:51I can always say that at the auction when it doesn't make a profit.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55'One £70 boar in the bag.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58'We'll have to wait and see about the lemonade set, though.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01'Meanwhile, who's got the Ford?'
0:12:01 > 0:12:03HAPPY SQUEALING
0:12:03 > 0:12:04'Yes, that one.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06'Lesley and James are heading west,
0:12:06 > 0:12:10'motoring from Sawbridgeworth to the countryside near Ware.'
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Would Dorien have loved that antiques centre or not?
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Erm, not really, no.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Let's put it this way... - It was second-hand, wasn't it?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21It was second-hand, nothing leopard skin about it
0:12:21 > 0:12:24and there were no gorgeous young hunks. Dorien's a fickle character.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26'Not so Lesley.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31'Welcome to the Curious Collectables Emporium, an internet only
0:12:31 > 0:12:35'establishment welcoming some rare personal callers.'
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- Hello!- Hi.- I'm Lesley, how are you? Are you Alan?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- Yes, I am. Nice to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Hello, James.- Hi, James, nice to meet you.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47- Oooh.- Well, come in.
0:12:47 > 0:12:50- Feel free to have a look around. - Look at this!
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- Lovely.- I'll let you guys carry on and have a look.- Thank you.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55Thanks very much.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57'The place to themselves.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59'But not a cabinet in sight.
0:12:59 > 0:13:03'I think the bling thing might have to take a back seat, don't you?'
0:13:03 > 0:13:05It's not quite as crowded as I'd like.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09'There must be something, Lesley. Let's grasp the nettle, shall we?'
0:13:09 > 0:13:12Aggh! Look at this.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15That is cool. I had a Meccano set.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20- 'Something tells me Lesley didn't.' - It's a proper tool. Nuts and bolts.
0:13:20 > 0:13:24- I think it's definitely a shop fitting.- Yes, without question.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- It looks like it has all the Meccano spares.- It does.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31- We must ask the price for that? - Do they sell well?- That would sell well.
0:13:31 > 0:13:36- Would it?- Yeah, it's very unusual. People prize the unusual.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38- I've never seen one.- 'He's keen.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41'But with the public not usually allowed in here, there is
0:13:41 > 0:13:45- 'something missing.'- I think the absence of price tags is lovely.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47'James has spotted something else.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50'It's difficult to miss, though, enough to make you croak.'
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- This is a fountain.- No, is it?- Yeah.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55- Do you like that? - HE LAUGHS
0:13:55 > 0:13:57People love gardens.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Pollution can come in many things,
0:13:59 > 0:14:02but noise pollution is one of the worst.
0:14:02 > 0:14:08If you had a little garden in London and you splash and it's your noise,
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- rather than your neighbours. - 'Is it bronze, though?'
0:14:12 > 0:14:17This rather points that this is verdigris, copper oxide.
0:14:17 > 0:14:22But if you really wanted to test it, what you do is take an area,
0:14:22 > 0:14:25here where it's got rubbed, I don't even need to do it with a knife.
0:14:25 > 0:14:30But if I went like that, it comes up yellow rather than silver.
0:14:30 > 0:14:36Is a leaping frog fountain on the top of everybody's to-buy list?
0:14:36 > 0:14:37Personally, no.
0:14:37 > 0:14:41'Oh, dear. Anything you'd choose, Lesley?'
0:14:41 > 0:14:43I love this. I love little chairs.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Yeah. It's got a little crack here.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49- It's been there for sometime, hasn't it?- Do you think it's old?
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- Definitely. Yeah. It's 19th century. - It's lovely and worn.- Yeah.
0:14:53 > 0:15:00- It's just quite a nice honest chair that.- Shall we get a price on that?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Yeah.- 'From an unpromising start we suddenly have quite a short list.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06'Time to talk to Alan. Hi, Alan.'
0:15:06 > 0:15:10- It's a very attractive Meccano.- Yes, I've tried to find a value on it.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13I've searched the internet, I can't find anything like it.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15'So it is unusual?'
0:15:15 > 0:15:17I don't have a price in mind as yet.
0:15:17 > 0:15:19There's not a huge amount in it.
0:15:19 > 0:15:23No, interestingly it's for the parts.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Maybe it is a shop display
0:15:25 > 0:15:28because I see everything is quite packaged.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32- There are bits inside that haven't even been opened yet.- Yeah.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I don't know, it's just rather interesting.
0:15:36 > 0:15:37It doesn't float my boat.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39'She doesn't hide her feelings, does she?'
0:15:39 > 0:15:42- What about this little chair, I love chairs.- 'Oh, God.'
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Yes, I've had that for a while actually.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Definitely 19th century.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49Windsor chairs were made in Buckinghamshire,
0:15:49 > 0:15:52you know, not far away for ever and ever.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- I have that advertised at 70.- Yeah.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58It's something we would like to buy at 30 or 40, isn't it?
0:15:58 > 0:16:03- There is a frog in the corner. - Your bronze frog, how much?
0:16:03 > 0:16:07To be honest, it was more for decoration. But it is for sale.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10I think I've got him up for £100, I believe.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13'I think they had a lot less in mind.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17'But Lesley has also found another aquatic, cheaper surely?'
0:16:17 > 0:16:19- I quite like this.- 'Oh, no.'
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Definitely a hardwood of some sort.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Probably African.- How much is that?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- Ten.- It's got a charm, hasn't it?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It looks as though it's smiling!
0:16:30 > 0:16:34It sort of has and I quite like that it is nice and sharp.
0:16:34 > 0:16:38You're not thinking of doing anything hazardous, are you?
0:16:38 > 0:16:40'Give her daggers, eh?'
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I just might do.
0:16:42 > 0:16:44'So then there were four.'
0:16:44 > 0:16:50- We thought we'd put a package to you. - Sure.- Our offer is £200 for the lot.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52I can't really sell the Meccano at the moment.
0:16:52 > 0:16:55The guy that lets me store the stuff here,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58he showed me it yesterday.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02I said to him I would research it before I got a price for him.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05- That was just a rather nasty draw, wasn't it?- It was.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09Then you could always phone him now and talk to him.
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Very foolish laying bait.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15You never know when it's going to be gobbled up, do you?
0:17:15 > 0:17:17'So, time for a cup of tea out in the farmyard
0:17:17 > 0:17:20'while Alan calls a cabinet meeting.'
0:17:20 > 0:17:23At this stage, he doesn't really want to sell it.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26- He doesn't want to be bounced into it.- No.
0:17:26 > 0:17:31That leaves us with a frog, a chair and a thing.
0:17:31 > 0:17:34I don't think I particularly want to pay £100 for those.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37What if we offered you 80 for the three?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Erm...
0:17:40 > 0:17:44- Not 100?- No, not 100.- I reckon we could go to 85 and that would be it.
0:17:44 > 0:17:50- 85?- 85?- I'll agree to that.- Lovely, shake hands on it. High five. Yeah!
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- Well done, Alan. Thank you.- Pay him!
0:17:54 > 0:17:58- "Pay him" as well.- Pay the man. - 'Like the lady said, James!
0:18:00 > 0:18:03'Meanwhile, back in the Vitesse.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09- 'Christopher and Mark are heading to the theatre.'- I'm a pantomime queen...
0:18:09 > 0:18:10'Get away!'
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- ..of England.- I'd say veteran.
0:18:15 > 0:18:17I'm with the Hof this year in Southend.
0:18:17 > 0:18:21It'll be like Baywatch for few months. Pamela Anderson, the Hof.
0:18:21 > 0:18:26My favourite pantomime role as the dame is, without doubt, Mother Goose.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29She's like the Hamlet of the Dame world.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32'But with a "quackier" ending.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35'Our trip now manoeuvres into Greater London
0:18:35 > 0:18:40'and the borough of Ilford, where Christopher and Mark have come to
0:18:40 > 0:18:42'meet one of our greatest authorities
0:18:42 > 0:18:43'on the art of pantomime.'
0:18:43 > 0:18:48- Hello!- Hello, Nigel! How nice to see you. Mwah! Mwah!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- This is my friend Mark. - Lovely to meet you.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53He wants to do pantomime this year, what can we do for him?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56'Dread to think.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59'Nigel Ellacott is the costume designer and life-long panto
0:18:59 > 0:19:03'buff, who like Christopher, has played the dame countless times.'
0:19:03 > 0:19:06- Where is all the pantomime stuff? - 'Behind you!!
0:19:06 > 0:19:08'Nigel may be based at the theatre
0:19:08 > 0:19:12'named after the-stiff-upper lip hero of loads of war movies
0:19:12 > 0:19:13'like Reach For The Sky,
0:19:13 > 0:19:18'but his true passion is for our uniquely British form of slapstick.'
0:19:18 > 0:19:21This is the oldest thing I've got in the collection.
0:19:21 > 0:19:28- This is a playbill of Joseph Grimaldi and dates from 1822. - Good Lord! Wow!
0:19:28 > 0:19:33It is, to me anyway, the very beginning of pantomime.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Joseph Grimaldi, even today if you go to a circus,
0:19:35 > 0:19:40every single clown is known as a Joey and that's because of him.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43Here you've got the white face and the make-up.
0:19:43 > 0:19:46These harlequinades were the origin of pantomime.
0:19:46 > 0:19:50We don't have a clown any more in panto, but if you look at his
0:19:50 > 0:19:53face, and you've got the make-up and the silly hair,
0:19:53 > 0:19:55- he sort of became the dame.- Yes.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58I'm just looking to see if Christopher is on the bill.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Ha-ha-ha, here I am, small print!
0:20:00 > 0:20:05'Nigel's collection, most of which can be found online, demonstrates
0:20:05 > 0:20:09'how older European theatrical forms with stock characters
0:20:09 > 0:20:14'and familiar plots evolved into what we would recognise today as panto.'
0:20:14 > 0:20:18We British, we said, "We like the Italian and French entertainment,
0:20:18 > 0:20:22- "but let's put a little something different in."- The British spin. - Yeah.
0:20:22 > 0:20:26And they created slapstick, Harlequin's stick was slapstick.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29It was two pieces of wood that made a slapping sound.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Oh, I see.- Oh, hence...- Hence slapstick. Yes.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37'But it was under the influence of theatre manager Sir Augustus Harris
0:20:37 > 0:20:40'in the late 19th century that the modern pantomime was born.'
0:20:40 > 0:20:45He brings in stars to pantomime for the very first time.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47He got them from music hall.
0:20:47 > 0:20:52All those popular stars like Marie Lloyd, Little Tich,
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Dan Leno, he made them huge pantomime stars.
0:20:56 > 0:21:00That way he didn't just get the middle classes, he got the
0:21:00 > 0:21:04working classes in there and now his theatres are full and packed...
0:21:04 > 0:21:08- Do you know the expression "bring the house down"?- I don't know why.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12It's the old-time music hall days when they were open all day.
0:21:12 > 0:21:15Acts would go on all day from early morning until late at night.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20But mainly you went there to eat and drink in the bars at the back.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Then somebody like Marie Lloyd would come on
0:21:23 > 0:21:26and she'd bring the house down from the back.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- Ah-h!- Oh! - They would go and sit to watch her.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32That's when you got that expression when this was the top bill.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34- I think it's lovely.- I never knew.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37'Paris's leading male star was Dan Leno,
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'known as the funniest man on earth.
0:21:39 > 0:21:44'Leno, who started out as Little George the Infant Wonder,
0:21:44 > 0:21:48'became in the course of a short but brilliant career, the dame's dame.'
0:21:48 > 0:21:52When he started with Augustus Harris, he was earning £28 a week.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56- That was a heck of a lot of money then.- That's in about 1880.
0:21:56 > 0:22:03But by the time he died in 1903, he was earning £245 a week.
0:22:03 > 0:22:08- Good heavens.- In pantomime alone.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- Gosh!- He was the highest-paid comic in the world.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15'But panto's other great cross-dressing role is
0:22:15 > 0:22:16'the principal boy.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20'Nigel's collection includes this doll modelled on Cora Goffin,
0:22:20 > 0:22:22'the actress who at the height of her fame had her legs
0:22:22 > 0:22:26'insured for £20,000 when 20,000 was 20,000.'
0:22:26 > 0:22:31This is probably a very early form of pantomime off-sale.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33This doll was sold in the theatre.
0:22:33 > 0:22:40On her foot there it says, "Emile Littler's Jack & Jill".
0:22:40 > 0:22:42- Ah-h!- So that was the pantomime at Birmingham.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46Cora Goffin was the most famous principal boy of her time.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49When she did radio panto,
0:22:49 > 0:22:53she got so much fan mail from that one radio broadcast that the
0:22:53 > 0:22:57BBC were forced to bring in a secretary to handle the fan mail.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00It was the first time that had ever happened.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04'Of course one of the reasons that panto is still so well loved
0:23:04 > 0:23:08'is the comfort of unchanging conventions like audience participation.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10'Oh, yes, it is!
0:23:10 > 0:23:13'Villains entering from stage left
0:23:13 > 0:23:15'and the good fairy from stage right.'
0:23:15 > 0:23:17- We are sort of fraternity, aren't we?- We are.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21- And I think we should have new members.- I couldn't agree more.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Shall we try this on our new member? - I think we ought to give it a go.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Why not, why not? Let's see how it goes. You're the new member, darling.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30- Oh, I'm the new member?! - Yes, you're the new member.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- So you come in the middle. - If it fits, it's like Cinderella.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- You will go to the panto! - I will go. Oooh!
0:23:36 > 0:23:37- It fits!- Gosh.
0:23:37 > 0:23:42- Let me have a look. Oh, you look...! - But not quite ready yet.
0:23:42 > 0:23:45- Oh, dear, what's next?- Put your arm through there.- Oh, my God.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48- Thank you. Another one.- I'm like Dame Shirley Bassey here.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51In your dreams!
0:23:51 > 0:23:55You look lovely. Give us a twirl.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58Marvellous. A dame is born.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02- That's your Christmas season sorted. - Absolutely.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- I think Cleethorpes, don't you?- Yes.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08'Ah, well, antiques' loss is Vaudeville's gain.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11'Now, back to our original double act.'
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- Off we go, Christopher.- All right.
0:24:13 > 0:24:16BOTH: # Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye
0:24:16 > 0:24:18- # Cheerio... - Here I go... #
0:24:18 > 0:24:20THEY DISSOLVE INTO LAUGHTER
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- Look at the road! The road! - HE LAUGHS
0:24:22 > 0:24:24'That's showbiz. Nighty night, you two.
0:24:26 > 0:24:29'Next morning, Lesley is ready for yet more rummaging.'
0:24:29 > 0:24:34I have to say I had the best day, I mean, James is lovely.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37- We laughed a lot.- Yes.- And...
0:24:37 > 0:24:43Mark is very dull. He... has no fun whatsoever.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Honestly, it was like being with my grandmother.
0:24:46 > 0:24:49'If your granny knew a thing or two about antiques.
0:24:49 > 0:24:53- 'Despite a few differences of taste...'- Now, I like that...
0:24:53 > 0:24:56'..Christopher and Mark managed to acquire a bronze boar for £70,
0:24:56 > 0:25:00'leaving them £330,
0:25:00 > 0:25:04'although they were sorely tempted by a lemonade set, as you do...'
0:25:04 > 0:25:08- I honestly love it. - '..but couldn't reach the dealer,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11'while Lesley and James set off at boy-racer pace...'
0:25:11 > 0:25:13EXCITED SQUEALING
0:25:13 > 0:25:18'..splashing out on a frog fountain, a crocodile paper knife,
0:25:18 > 0:25:20'a chair and a coffee table.'
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Give me high five.
0:25:22 > 0:25:29'That nice mix cost a mere £105, leaving almost £300 to spend today.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31'Later they'll be wending towards
0:25:31 > 0:25:32'west London for an auction
0:25:32 > 0:25:34'at Chiswick, but our next stop
0:25:34 > 0:25:35is in Buckinghamshire,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38'at the village of Waddesdon.'
0:25:38 > 0:25:40# There's no business like show business
0:25:40 > 0:25:43# Like no business I know... #
0:25:45 > 0:25:47'Shall we get on with the show, then?!'
0:25:47 > 0:25:49HE CHUCKLES
0:25:49 > 0:25:52Good morning. Whee!
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- Morning, boys.- Good morning. - I use the term loosely!
0:25:58 > 0:26:02- Here we are. Good morning. - Good morning, Mr James. How are you?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04- Morning, Lesley.- Lovely to see you.
0:26:04 > 0:26:08- Lovely to see you, you're looking resplendent.- We're all in bloom.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11- I know.- Did you have a good day yesterday?- We had a marvellous day.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14- Wonderful day.- We've got a truckload of stuff!
0:26:15 > 0:26:19- That's scared me. Not sure about ours.- Ours are lovely!
0:26:19 > 0:26:24- You're not sure?!- No.- He's told me, Lesley. I'm so sorry.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27- Don't listen to him! - Excuse me, I've got work to do.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31- Remember, it is the taking part that counts.- Don't spend too much money.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33- We'll see you later.- OK.
0:26:35 > 0:26:39- So where are we going?- Shopping, shopping, shopping.- Nearby?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- It's literally just across the road. - How marvellous.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45'Hmm! Christopher and Mark have an awful lot of shopping to do
0:26:45 > 0:26:47'so they're heading to the high street,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50'but first there's that lemonade set they were keen on.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53'Before they buy here, they need to make a call.'
0:26:53 > 0:26:56- 'Antiques centre, good morning.' - Morning, is that Polly?- 'It is.'
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Polly, it's Biggins and Mark. How are you?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02- 'I'm fine, how are you?' - Very well indeed.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04Now what's the news on the lemonade set?
0:27:04 > 0:27:08'We've beaten him down just a little bit more for you
0:27:08 > 0:27:10'and the price is 225.'
0:27:10 > 0:27:11- Oh-h!- Oh-h!
0:27:11 > 0:27:16- Oh, dear, Oh, dear.- 'I know. It's the best we can do. I'm sorry.'
0:27:16 > 0:27:20- We're so close, aren't we?- We are. He wouldn't do 175?
0:27:20 > 0:27:26- 'No, definitely not. That was his final offer.'- Oh, Polly!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29- Go on, let's take it.- Shall we?- Yes. - Have you made an executive?
0:27:29 > 0:27:31Yes, I've made an executive. We're going to take it.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34- 'You've made an executive.' - Yes, we're going to take it.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Mark's collapsed on the floor.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39'I think he's taken it pretty well considering, Christopher.
0:27:39 > 0:27:44'£225 is a huge gamble. On the nose, you might even say.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47'Leaving just £105 to spend today.'
0:27:49 > 0:27:54- Junk & Disorderly, that's us! - Do you like pigeons?- I love pigeons.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I have never seen anything like that.
0:27:56 > 0:28:01- They're marvellous.- 'A clock garniture with what looks like a broken clock.'
0:28:01 > 0:28:05- What's it made from?- It looks bronze from a distance.- Yeah.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08It's actually made out of smelter.
0:28:08 > 0:28:12- Oh-h, right!- Which is a cheaper version. Then it's been bronzed.
0:28:12 > 0:28:17It's almost certainly French. Early 20th century. It's so OTT.
0:28:17 > 0:28:21- It's gorgeous. It can't be for the three of them £60?- It must be.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24'Even that's more than half of what they've got left.'
0:28:24 > 0:28:28- What do you think he'll take?- £20. - You don't.- Well, I think we can try.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33- Or at a push we could say a tenner for each piece.- Yeah, good.
0:28:33 > 0:28:35'Nice start. Anything else out here?'
0:28:36 > 0:28:40- I'm going to buy this for you.- For me?- For all your special memories.
0:28:40 > 0:28:41Oh!
0:28:41 > 0:28:43Yes, it's empty!
0:28:45 > 0:28:48- Don't they go on the side of a horse or something?- Why?- I've no idea.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51I'm just making it up as I go along.
0:28:51 > 0:28:53'On that note, let's meet the proprietor.'
0:28:55 > 0:28:57- Hello, how are you?- Good morning.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00- Very well, thank you.- Chris, nice to see you.- Nice to see you, Roger.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03- This is my friend Mark. - Hello, Roger.- Hello, Mark.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05What a lovely shop you've got.
0:29:05 > 0:29:09- What a small shop!- Well, it's a strange little emporium really!
0:29:09 > 0:29:12'Well, it's certainly a bit disorderly, Roger,
0:29:12 > 0:29:15'although your stock is much nicer than you describe.'
0:29:15 > 0:29:19- We quite like your pigeons outside. - Yes.- They're unusual.
0:29:19 > 0:29:23They're interesting. The clock is absolutely useless, but you know...
0:29:23 > 0:29:25The pigeons are nice.
0:29:25 > 0:29:27What's your best offer on that?
0:29:29 > 0:29:31I suppose...
0:29:31 > 0:29:36- Tenner a piece?- We've spent a lot of money already.
0:29:36 > 0:29:38You always say that.
0:29:38 > 0:29:42- Ha-ha, Roger!- We are gentlemen, we only tell you the truth.- True.
0:29:42 > 0:29:4330 quid.
0:29:44 > 0:29:47- It'd be lovely if we could get it for that.- Yes.- Well done, Roger.
0:29:47 > 0:29:49- Thank you very much.- Roger, you're a star.
0:29:49 > 0:29:53'Thanks to Roger, those two have finally got something going "cheep"!'
0:29:53 > 0:29:56I'm really excited. It's good.
0:29:56 > 0:30:03I've got the lemonade jug and the six tumblers which I'm thrilled about.
0:30:03 > 0:30:05We've got our bronze
0:30:05 > 0:30:08and I'm absolutely thrilled with our three pigeons.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12I think it's so camp and over the top that it's wonderful,
0:30:12 > 0:30:14and a great price. So I'm really thrilled.
0:30:14 > 0:30:17'Now, what about those other birds of a feather,
0:30:17 > 0:30:20'nipping up the road to nearby Waddesdon Manor?'
0:30:20 > 0:30:23Have you and Christopher, have you ever worked together?
0:30:23 > 0:30:27- I'm trying to think. We've never actually done a play together.- Yeah.
0:30:27 > 0:30:29But you did your radio show, am I right?
0:30:29 > 0:30:32Oh, yes, we did that, on a Sunday morning.
0:30:32 > 0:30:36That was sometimes difficult to get through from laughing.
0:30:36 > 0:30:40'Lesley's a huge fan of stately homes, so this gorgeous creation by
0:30:40 > 0:30:45'Baron Ferdinand de Rothschild should make her very happy.
0:30:45 > 0:30:49'Modelled in the French chateau style, Waddesdon was where the
0:30:49 > 0:30:54'banking dynasty displayed their magnificent collection of art.'
0:30:54 > 0:30:57- Isn't this amazing? - Come round into the dining room.
0:30:57 > 0:30:59Look at the chandelier, James.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03'Lesley and James are here to see some highlights from that collection
0:31:03 > 0:31:05'in the company of curator Pippa.'
0:31:05 > 0:31:07This is the red drawing room.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10This room was the principal reception room
0:31:10 > 0:31:14here at Waddesdon, erm, and the house was built essentially for
0:31:14 > 0:31:18entertaining, so what we're standing in is a very grand holiday cottage.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- It was used...- Bit like ours, love.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24But when you come to rooms like this, you sort of get the kind of
0:31:24 > 0:31:28essence of what was called the Rothschild style, which is
0:31:28 > 0:31:32this very interesting combination of English 18th century portraits
0:31:32 > 0:31:35on the walls here, but French 18th century decorative arts.
0:31:35 > 0:31:37And, of course, wonderful, wonderful China,
0:31:37 > 0:31:39we've got something on the table.
0:31:39 > 0:31:43This object, in a sense, is the one which kicks the whole thing off
0:31:43 > 0:31:44for Ferdinand as a collector
0:31:44 > 0:31:49because this is the first really significant piece that he acquires.
0:31:49 > 0:31:50And what age is it, what is it?
0:31:50 > 0:31:54So, it's a Sevres porcelain vase.
0:31:54 > 0:31:56It's a pot pourri vase, but it's in the form of a ship.
0:31:56 > 0:31:58It was made in 1761.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00'Only ten are known to exist,
0:32:00 > 0:32:05'and Waddesdon has three of these rare and exquisite confections.'
0:32:05 > 0:32:07Am I right in saying this is a sort of bleu celeste?
0:32:07 > 0:32:09This is the famous bleu celeste, yes,
0:32:09 > 0:32:11which was copied from Chinese porcelain,
0:32:11 > 0:32:14which, of course, was the great thing that kicked off this
0:32:14 > 0:32:17search in the 18th century for the secret of true porcelain.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19And it's quite usual to have, erm,
0:32:19 > 0:32:22different scenes on either side because often these pieces
0:32:22 > 0:32:25in the 18th century would be set up with a mirror behind them,
0:32:25 > 0:32:27so you would be able to see the scenes.
0:32:27 > 0:32:30- Oh, gosh, and does the top come off here?- The top lifts...
0:32:30 > 0:32:32I'm not going to try it.
0:32:32 > 0:32:33'No, don't!
0:32:33 > 0:32:36'Wealthy Ferdinand soon collected many other treasures,
0:32:36 > 0:32:40'some from English aristocrats fallen on hard times.
0:32:40 > 0:32:43'They were a lavish backdrop to his weekend house parties.'
0:32:43 > 0:32:46I want to show you now one of the most extraordinary
0:32:46 > 0:32:49objects in the collections, which is this chap here.
0:32:51 > 0:32:54It's an automaton, and it's a musical automaton,
0:32:54 > 0:32:56so it's a very, very elaborate music box.
0:32:56 > 0:32:59'This incredible creature, which plays four tunes,
0:32:59 > 0:33:02'is the work of a French clockmaker.'
0:33:02 > 0:33:04Oh, it's the most beautiful thing.
0:33:04 > 0:33:09It is glorious, isn't it? Look, Lesley, isn't that incredible?
0:33:10 > 0:33:14It has a very key role, in a sense, in the history of the house.
0:33:14 > 0:33:17Ferdinand acquired it when he'd been asked to host a visit from
0:33:17 > 0:33:21the Shah of Persia, erm, in 1889.
0:33:21 > 0:33:25The Shah was so thrilled by the elephant that he had it wound again
0:33:25 > 0:33:27and again and again until, as Ferdinand said,
0:33:27 > 0:33:30he had to distract His Excellency for fear that...
0:33:30 > 0:33:33He was obviously worried that his new acquisition was going to...
0:33:33 > 0:33:36going to break through all the attention.
0:33:38 > 0:33:43When the Baron died in 1898, his sister Alice inherited
0:33:43 > 0:33:45the manor and continued to develop the collection.
0:33:45 > 0:33:49But it was another female member of the Rothschild family who was
0:33:49 > 0:33:53responsible for some of the finest lace at Waddesdon.
0:33:53 > 0:33:56These were collected by Baroness Edmond from the
0:33:56 > 0:34:00French branch of the family, and she was a great collector of
0:34:00 > 0:34:04all sorts of different accessories, so fans, lace, buttons.
0:34:04 > 0:34:05But she was quite scholarly about it
0:34:05 > 0:34:08so she collected from particular centres of production,
0:34:08 > 0:34:10and I love this one from the 1750s, and it's got
0:34:10 > 0:34:13chinoiserie ornament in it, so you can see the firebirds there.
0:34:13 > 0:34:17- Oh, gosh, yes, look at that, James. - Yeah.- And the little bridges there.
0:34:17 > 0:34:19- Oh, my goodness, that is... - It's so charming, isn't it?
0:34:19 > 0:34:21This one is much more baroque, much denser.
0:34:21 > 0:34:23And that is from what period?
0:34:23 > 0:34:26That's a little bit early, that's from 1700-1720.
0:34:26 > 0:34:30And these were produced to be incorporated in dress,
0:34:30 > 0:34:31sort of cuffs and collars...?
0:34:31 > 0:34:35Yes, yes, and lappets too, which were the long strips
0:34:35 > 0:34:38- which hung down from a cap, hung down at the back.- Oh, yes.
0:34:38 > 0:34:40You see them in contemporary portraits very often.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43Anyway, we've got someone who knows all about that, and I think
0:34:43 > 0:34:45you're actually going to have a go, Lesley.
0:34:45 > 0:34:47- I'm going to make lace, James. - Perfect.
0:34:47 > 0:34:49Here is Christine.
0:34:49 > 0:34:51Good morning, Christine. I'm Lesley, James.
0:34:51 > 0:34:55Christine is going to unravel some of the secrets of lace making.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57You only need to learn two movements.
0:34:57 > 0:34:58What, for the whole of that?
0:34:58 > 0:35:02Yes, yes, everything is built up from two movements.
0:35:02 > 0:35:05So you start with four threads, and the first movement is a cross,
0:35:05 > 0:35:09which means crossing the left of right over the right.
0:35:09 > 0:35:12And then you do a twist, which is like that,
0:35:12 > 0:35:15- and I'm going to do a couple of extra twists here.- I can do that.
0:35:15 > 0:35:17And I'm going to put the pin in.
0:35:17 > 0:35:19And I'll do that again.
0:35:19 > 0:35:25So cross, twist, twist, twist and pin.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28So I've brought along a much simpler piece, I thought
0:35:28 > 0:35:31- you might like to have a go. - This is Joseph lace.
0:35:31 > 0:35:34- You're going to work along here. - Right.- Just look at these.
0:35:34 > 0:35:37- Just look and learn, James. - Yeah, I am, I'm fascinated.
0:35:37 > 0:35:40- Look at the first four threads. - OK, so...
0:35:40 > 0:35:43- Take that one...- That one. - ..over that one.- Over that one.
0:35:43 > 0:35:47- That's the cross.- And then I do that over there.- And again?
0:35:47 > 0:35:50- When do you put the pin in, though?- In a minute.
0:35:50 > 0:35:54Patience, James, patience. I'm going to be here for the next three days.
0:35:54 > 0:35:56JAMES LAUGHS
0:35:56 > 0:36:00'Not really, although it might well feel like it, James.
0:36:00 > 0:36:04'I'm sure he's musing now on how Christopher and Mark are getting on,
0:36:04 > 0:36:08'as they head for the hills, the Chiltern Hills, and Wendover.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10It's raining on our parade a bit, isn't it?
0:36:10 > 0:36:14It certainly is raining, but I think we've done rather well.
0:36:14 > 0:36:18- But we've still got some money in our pocket.- Not much.- But...- Enough.
0:36:18 > 0:36:21- ..with our persuasive techniques... - CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS
0:36:21 > 0:36:23What would you like to find now, Christopher?
0:36:23 > 0:36:26I suppose I wouldn't mind finding a little bit of silver.
0:36:26 > 0:36:29- Or a painting would be nice. - A painting?
0:36:29 > 0:36:32Well, I would love to buy a painting, I have to say.
0:36:32 > 0:36:35Do you wonder what Miss Joseph has been up to?
0:36:35 > 0:36:38She's got a very good eye as far as art's concerned.
0:36:38 > 0:36:42I don't know quite what her objet d'art eye is like.
0:36:42 > 0:36:44Bit wonky, I would think.
0:36:44 > 0:36:47'The others will soon be coming, wonky or not.
0:36:47 > 0:36:49'But buying something old
0:36:49 > 0:36:51'shouldn't be too much of a problem in Wendover.
0:36:51 > 0:36:55'After all, Anne Boleyn's family were once landowners round here,
0:36:55 > 0:36:59'and the Ridgeway, possibly Britain's most ancient road,
0:36:59 > 0:37:01'runs right along the high street.'
0:37:01 > 0:37:05- I like that plate.- Oh, it's lovely, but that'll be over £75.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07- I don't know, let's have a look. - Oh, I think it might be.
0:37:07 > 0:37:10- 95, maybe he'll do a deal.- Oo-ooh!
0:37:11 > 0:37:14- Hello, how are you? - Nice to see you.- Nice to see you.
0:37:14 > 0:37:19- Welcome to Wendover, nice to see you.- This is lovely, is this yours?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21I wish it was. There's 30 dealers here.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25'Looks promising too, but thanks to something they bought earlier,
0:37:25 > 0:37:28'our pair have severely limited funds.'
0:37:28 > 0:37:34- How much have we got left?- 75.- £75 of our £400 budget.- Oh, that's fine!
0:37:34 > 0:37:36- CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS - Are you sure?- You can find...
0:37:36 > 0:37:37- For two items?- No problem.
0:37:37 > 0:37:41'Well said, Mike. Does that apply to the paintings you have here too?'
0:37:41 > 0:37:45See, that I rather like as well. Study of Holland Park, London.
0:37:45 > 0:37:49- That's Holland Park, London? - Now that's so 1950s.
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- It is.- Those modern British colours, you know, the slate greys.
0:37:52 > 0:37:55Yeah, I think that's very nice, actually.
0:37:55 > 0:37:57Slightly Impressionistic, I love it.
0:37:57 > 0:38:00- We may be able to get that for a good price.- You see, I think that...
0:38:00 > 0:38:04- It's unsigned, early to mid-20th, I think it's mid.- Yeah.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06- And that would go anywhere. - It would.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08And it's only marked up at 95.
0:38:08 > 0:38:10Yes, we might get that at a...
0:38:10 > 0:38:12- D'you like it? - I do, I think it's very nice.
0:38:12 > 0:38:15- I think that's a possibility. Shall I pop that down?- Yes.
0:38:15 > 0:38:17Cos that's definitely a possibility.
0:38:17 > 0:38:19'And the auction's just down the road
0:38:19 > 0:38:21'from Holland Park in Chiswick, remember.
0:38:21 > 0:38:23'Ah, look who's here.'
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Is this the Last Chance Saloon?
0:38:26 > 0:38:27'A couple of gunslingers
0:38:27 > 0:38:30'in search of antiques and collectables apparently.'
0:38:30 > 0:38:33- Hello!- Oh, hi, hello, I'm Lesley. - How are you, nice to meet you.
0:38:33 > 0:38:34- James.- Hello, nice to meet you.
0:38:34 > 0:38:37- Nice to meet you too. - You've got lots of lovely stuff.
0:38:37 > 0:38:38We have some brilliant things.
0:38:38 > 0:38:40Where's the best place to start? Upstairs?
0:38:40 > 0:38:42Upstairs then come back down, have a wander through,
0:38:42 > 0:38:45- it's all the way through the back as well.- Fabulous.
0:38:45 > 0:38:48'They've still got almost £300 left, of course,
0:38:48 > 0:38:50'unlike the competition upstairs.'
0:38:50 > 0:38:54- Pretty chairs.- But you see, yes, £115 for the two.
0:38:54 > 0:38:56- No!- It's not a lot, is it?
0:38:56 > 0:38:59We wouldn't get the two, for 75, would we? No, 115.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02But I mean, to be honest, let's have a little look at them,
0:39:02 > 0:39:03what have we got?
0:39:03 > 0:39:07I mean, they're French in style, aren't they?
0:39:07 > 0:39:08What sort of date are they, '20s?
0:39:08 > 0:39:11- D'you know, you're probably right, it's probably 1900 or so.- Yes.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14They've put late 19th century, so it's on that cusp.
0:39:14 > 0:39:15They're very pretty.
0:39:15 > 0:39:20Mike, what's the best, d'you think, on these two little chairs here?
0:39:20 > 0:39:23Nice, those. Let's have a little... Oh!
0:39:23 > 0:39:27- We wouldn't get them for 75, would we?- For the two?- Yeah.
0:39:27 > 0:39:32It's £40 off, and that is about a 35% discount, which,
0:39:32 > 0:39:36- even as welcome as you all are, is too much.- Right.
0:39:36 > 0:39:3795 is the very best.
0:39:37 > 0:39:40Oh, then we can't buy them, cos we've only got 75.
0:39:40 > 0:39:43I mean, you've only taken £20 off.
0:39:43 > 0:39:46- No.- I mean, for goodness' sake. - That's true. That is very true.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50- I mean, it's not very much. - Look, even 20% would be £25,
0:39:50 > 0:39:52would be £90.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54What's really very, very difficult
0:39:54 > 0:39:57is I thought we were going to get on.
0:39:57 > 0:39:58CHRISTOPHER LAUGHS
0:39:58 > 0:40:01He's tried his best. I think it's a measly effort but...
0:40:01 > 0:40:04- It's not good enough.- It's really not good enough.- Get out.
0:40:04 > 0:40:06'Steady!
0:40:06 > 0:40:07'It is his shop
0:40:07 > 0:40:10'but there's always that more affordable painting, chaps.
0:40:10 > 0:40:13'What are Lesley and James on the lookout for?'
0:40:13 > 0:40:17I think we want precious objects. I feel inspired by Waddesdon.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Inspired by where we've been.
0:40:19 > 0:40:22- Oh, there's a lovely Sampson Mordan pencil.- Where?
0:40:22 > 0:40:25Oh, that's a mighty one. There in the desk hand there.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27Does it actually come with the...?
0:40:27 > 0:40:30- I don't know, shall we have a quick look?- £22.
0:40:31 > 0:40:33It's a bit tatty.
0:40:33 > 0:40:35It's been actually used, this one.
0:40:35 > 0:40:37125 for the desk hand.
0:40:37 > 0:40:39It's not exotic enough.
0:40:39 > 0:40:41'They're canny, these two, you know?
0:40:41 > 0:40:44'Now, what's Mike got to show Christopher and Mark?'
0:40:44 > 0:40:46- What's that cameo? - That one there?- I love...
0:40:46 > 0:40:48- I think that looks rather sweet. - It's very pretty.
0:40:48 > 0:40:50And that is a cameo, Mike, isn't it?
0:40:50 > 0:40:53Yes, it's a carved cameo.
0:40:53 > 0:40:54It's quite sweet, isn't it?
0:40:54 > 0:40:57I mean, cameos aren't particularly the flavour of the month but...
0:40:57 > 0:40:59I think it is pinchbeck.
0:40:59 > 0:41:03'An alloy of copper and zinc which looks a lot like gold.
0:41:03 > 0:41:07'It's called pinchbeck after its London clockmaker inventor.'
0:41:07 > 0:41:12You see it reminds me of my mother in I, Claudius.
0:41:12 > 0:41:13Oh, of course.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15And it can be yours for £15.
0:41:15 > 0:41:19'Well, if that isn't reason enough to buy it, I don't know what is.'
0:41:19 > 0:41:22That vintage cameo brooch, 20 quid.
0:41:22 > 0:41:24- I know.- It's real bling, isn't it?
0:41:24 > 0:41:26'Suddenly, they're all the rage
0:41:26 > 0:41:29'but I think the others are about to propose a deal on theirs,
0:41:29 > 0:41:32'plus the painting, of course.'
0:41:32 > 0:41:35- What are you saying?- I'm waiting for the obvious question.
0:41:35 > 0:41:37You know what I'm going to say because we've been absolutely
0:41:37 > 0:41:40honest with you. We've got to offer what we've got, haven't we?
0:41:40 > 0:41:43- Yes, we have.- How much have you got? - £75.- And that's it.
0:41:43 > 0:41:46We've then spent the entire 400.
0:41:46 > 0:41:49I'll tell you what we'll do because this is a fine painting
0:41:49 > 0:41:52and I don't really think it justifies being reduced too much.
0:41:52 > 0:41:55I'm going to charge you £5 for that
0:41:55 > 0:41:59and I'm going to charge you £70 for that to make your £75.
0:41:59 > 0:42:02CHRISTOPHER SOBS
0:42:02 > 0:42:06'Oh, really. Here we go again. Save it for your Widow Twankey!'
0:42:06 > 0:42:09- Can I just say thank you very much, Mike?- No, that's a pleasure.
0:42:09 > 0:42:12- On behalf of both of us. - That's a pleasure. Stop it, stop it!
0:42:12 > 0:42:15- Oh, right, OK.- I've never seen so much overacting in my life.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18And he's doing the amateur theatricals tonight!
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Well, I think you've just done it for him.
0:42:20 > 0:42:24'Well, that really did bring the house down.
0:42:24 > 0:42:26'Hey, they look a bit fishy.'
0:42:26 > 0:42:28Gosh, I love these plates. Look.
0:42:28 > 0:42:31- Oh, aren't they fun?- Aren't they fantastic?- So fish plates.
0:42:31 > 0:42:34They're stunning, look at them.
0:42:34 > 0:42:38Carp. They're very restrained, aren't they?
0:42:38 > 0:42:42They are absolutely gorgeous.
0:42:42 > 0:42:4355.
0:42:43 > 0:42:46'Still no bling but they can certainly afford them.'
0:42:46 > 0:42:49They're fine, aren't they? I think they seem to be all right.
0:42:49 > 0:42:52- There's just one there with a chip. - 'Well, they are fish plates.'
0:42:52 > 0:42:56If you cook and have a lot of dinner parties, I think these are divine.
0:42:56 > 0:42:59I mean, I was thinking of buying them for myself,
0:42:59 > 0:43:02- let's put it that way. - Another little chip there.- Is there?
0:43:02 > 0:43:05I quite like, you know... It's space, isn't it?
0:43:05 > 0:43:07They've just got one image.
0:43:07 > 0:43:09- It's quite clever that.- You can see what you'd do on them.
0:43:09 > 0:43:12- Instead of being hectic.- Shall we see what he'd do on these?- Yeah.
0:43:12 > 0:43:14- Mike!- Coming.
0:43:14 > 0:43:17'Don't worry, these two are less given to histrionics.'
0:43:17 > 0:43:19- Michael!- Hello.
0:43:19 > 0:43:21- We've found these plates.- Right.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23Now there's a bit of a problem because two of them
0:43:23 > 0:43:26- have got very tiny chips around the rim.- Have they?
0:43:26 > 0:43:29But I think they're actually rather nice and we're wondering...
0:43:29 > 0:43:31I'm just wondering what the best on those would be.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34What do you think would be a sensible offer?
0:43:34 > 0:43:36I don't know, what do you think?
0:43:36 > 0:43:39I think sort of 25, 30.
0:43:39 > 0:43:4135, come on, chaps.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45- Dealer has to make a living.- Yeah.
0:43:45 > 0:43:48To be fair to the dealer, 33.
0:43:48 > 0:43:52They're unusual, they have a sort of a slightly modern look
0:43:52 > 0:43:55but if I was a keen cook, I'd quite like those.
0:43:55 > 0:43:58Mm. Shall we go? Shall we do it?
0:43:58 > 0:44:01'Blimey, Lesley's determined, isn't she?'
0:44:01 > 0:44:04Don't shake my hand, I'm not the man with the money.
0:44:04 > 0:44:07- This lady with the money.- Make it... - BOTH:- 32.
0:44:07 > 0:44:10- Thank you.- OK, 32.- 32.- I think they're nice, they're fun.
0:44:10 > 0:44:15- I found those.- Good. Well done. - I found those.- They're yours.
0:44:15 > 0:44:17'Piscatorial platters purchased.
0:44:17 > 0:44:22'It's time to take a cold-blooded look at their buys.'
0:44:22 > 0:44:23Ooh!
0:44:23 > 0:44:26- And...- I like those.- I like those.
0:44:26 > 0:44:28- And...- Ooh!
0:44:28 > 0:44:31- What is this?- Ooh, I love the frog. - Do you like the frog?- I...
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Look at the frog.
0:44:34 > 0:44:38- Oh, the frog is fabulous!- Do you like him?- I love him.- He's bronze.
0:44:38 > 0:44:42And you put your stamp on that table I notice.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46- Mind you...- And look, a little chair for Lesley!
0:44:46 > 0:44:49Oh, it's gorgeous.
0:44:49 > 0:44:51'How about another Lesley find?'
0:44:51 > 0:44:54- I love these. I think these are gorgeous.- Aren't they?
0:44:54 > 0:44:57- Who were they made by?- By Marks & Spencer. How interesting.
0:44:57 > 0:44:59Lovely, it's their new range.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01They're lovely, though, look at the quality,
0:45:01 > 0:45:03look through the light, can't see a thing.
0:45:03 > 0:45:06- I do think they're very pretty actually.- Those are great.
0:45:06 > 0:45:10- I love the table as well.- Do you like it?- That's very on trend.
0:45:10 > 0:45:14- JAMES:- On trend. On trend! - Are we on trend? Are we cool?
0:45:14 > 0:45:17'Highly unlikely but we can't rule it out,
0:45:17 > 0:45:19'likewise this lot.'
0:45:19 > 0:45:21- Ooh!- Ooh!
0:45:21 > 0:45:23- I love it.- Oh, my word.
0:45:23 > 0:45:25Oh, no, that is fairly outrageous.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28This is Birds Of A Feather.
0:45:28 > 0:45:31- There's three of you. There's you. - There's Lesley in the middle.
0:45:31 > 0:45:36- I love it.- Now this, I just love this, I think it's beautiful.
0:45:36 > 0:45:39- It is beautiful.- And we paid quite a lot of money, though, for it.
0:45:39 > 0:45:42- What did you pay?- 225?- Yes.
0:45:42 > 0:45:43'Straight face, you two.'
0:45:43 > 0:45:46It's not signed Clarice Cliff but it's very much Wilkinson factory.
0:45:46 > 0:45:49It's like Clarice Cliff but it's not...
0:45:49 > 0:45:51- No, it's made by the Wilkinson factory.- Is it?
0:45:51 > 0:45:54- This shape is very Clarice Cliff. - It's a great shape, isn't it?
0:45:54 > 0:45:56- It's a wonderful shape. - But, also, I think it's joyous.
0:45:56 > 0:45:59- It is.- I think the colour... JAMES:- Joyous!
0:45:59 > 0:46:03The other thing we love is this mid-20th century,
0:46:03 > 0:46:07- 1950s oil on board...- That's nice, isn't it?- ..of Holland Park.
0:46:07 > 0:46:10- Holland Park.- I love that. - No, that's lovely.
0:46:10 > 0:46:13- And how much did you pay for that? - That is very you.- Very me.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15That would hang in your house.
0:46:15 > 0:46:17- And that, I saw the boar. - Did you see the boar?- Yes!
0:46:17 > 0:46:20- Did you like it?- I loved it.
0:46:20 > 0:46:24- That is bronze.- It is bronze. - It is absolutely gorgeous.
0:46:24 > 0:46:26I would buy that for me at home.
0:46:26 > 0:46:29- I would buy it and also it's got such a lovely face.- I love the face.
0:46:29 > 0:46:32Beautiful. It's beautiful. Well, I have to say...
0:46:32 > 0:46:35- I think we've done awfully well, all of us.- We spent...
0:46:35 > 0:46:38- How much?- Every last penny.- £400.
0:46:38 > 0:46:39- Exactly?- Exactly.
0:46:39 > 0:46:41I wouldn't worry, if that's going to lose money,
0:46:41 > 0:46:44that's going to make money in buckets, isn't it?
0:46:44 > 0:46:48- I think this will make...- I love it. - I reckon that could absolutely fly.
0:46:49 > 0:46:51'But what did they really think?'
0:46:51 > 0:46:53I loved the frog.
0:46:53 > 0:46:56- Oh, the frog is amazing.- It's fantastic.- And for 50 quid.- I know.
0:46:56 > 0:46:59- JAMES: That clock garniture with the pigeons...- I know.
0:46:59 > 0:47:02..if there's a pigeon racer, a pigeon fancier, they're going to love that.
0:47:02 > 0:47:05Yeah, but if there's only one, you're going to need two or three.
0:47:05 > 0:47:09- The pigeons were a scene stealer. - Stole the show.- They really were.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12The lemonade set I think they will definitely lose money on it.
0:47:12 > 0:47:14I think it's over-priced.
0:47:14 > 0:47:18- I'm very proud we spent the entire £400 budget.- Yes!
0:47:18 > 0:47:20I don't think they've got the edge at all
0:47:20 > 0:47:22because I think our things we paid so little for that I think
0:47:22 > 0:47:25there's a good chance for a good profit on all of them.
0:47:25 > 0:47:28'After starting out in Hertfordshire at Sawbridgeworth,
0:47:28 > 0:47:32'our celebrities and experts will now wind up in west London
0:47:32 > 0:47:33'for an auction at Chiswick.
0:47:33 > 0:47:38'Famously home to the 18th century artist and satirist William Hogarth,
0:47:38 > 0:47:42'Chiswick's name originates from the old English for cheese farm.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44'I didn't know that.'
0:47:44 > 0:47:46- We had a great couple of days. - Yes, we did.
0:47:46 > 0:47:49- And now it's raining.- Is it?
0:47:49 > 0:47:51And my hair will go into a frizz-ball
0:47:51 > 0:47:54if we do not get there quite soon.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57'Vitesse, eh, Christopher?'
0:47:57 > 0:48:00- Hi.- Hi!- Hello, how are you? - Hi, darling, you all right?
0:48:00 > 0:48:02- How are you?- Hello, Mark.
0:48:02 > 0:48:04- Very exciting.- Very exciting.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06'Mm, naughty.
0:48:06 > 0:48:09'Welcome to High Road Auctions for an evening sale of
0:48:09 > 0:48:11'antiques, interiors and collectables.
0:48:11 > 0:48:15'Let's hear what auctioneer Ross Mercer makes of their chances.'
0:48:15 > 0:48:19The frog fountain, well, a great edition to any garden.
0:48:19 > 0:48:22Once plumbed in, I think it's going to bring a lot of fun.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25We hope that it's going to make at least £100, £150.
0:48:25 > 0:48:30The cameo brooch is a wonderful example of Etruscan revival.
0:48:30 > 0:48:32It is wonderful quality.
0:48:32 > 0:48:35We should be looking about £80, £120.
0:48:35 > 0:48:37Now the lemonade set,
0:48:37 > 0:48:40you would've thought that it would've come from the factory
0:48:40 > 0:48:45of Clarice Cliff, however, it is a later 20th century copy.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49We hope that it's going to make at least £30 to £50.
0:48:49 > 0:48:52'Oh, dear, that'll be a bit of a shock.
0:48:52 > 0:48:56'Lesley and James bought five auction lots, spending just £137
0:48:56 > 0:48:59'while Christopher and Mark spent all £400,
0:48:59 > 0:49:04'mostly on one very expensive and risky lot. Gosh.
0:49:04 > 0:49:08'So Greek tragedy or a complete farce, what is it to be?'
0:49:08 > 0:49:10So what are you on? The running boar.
0:49:10 > 0:49:11BOTH: The running boar.
0:49:11 > 0:49:15- Is that paraphrased for something or...? Yes, us.- Us.
0:49:15 > 0:49:18'It's their very first purchase.'
0:49:18 > 0:49:20There he is. Wouldn't want to get near him on a dark night, would you?
0:49:20 > 0:49:23- No.- Be nice.
0:49:23 > 0:49:27- ..£60.- 60! - Straight in at five at 65.
0:49:27 > 0:49:3070, may I say? 70. 75.
0:49:30 > 0:49:3380 with you, sir. At £80 I am bid, stood in front at £80.
0:49:33 > 0:49:3580, that's good.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37- All done and selling. - Come on. Come on!
0:49:37 > 0:49:38THEY LAUGH
0:49:38 > 0:49:41It's absolutely lovely by the bedside table.
0:49:41 > 0:49:45Well, I'm so very sorry to sell this at £80 only.
0:49:45 > 0:49:46You've made a profit.
0:49:46 > 0:49:48What a bargain you got.
0:49:48 > 0:49:52'Ha! A small profit which certainly gets their snouts in front.'
0:49:52 > 0:49:54- Made a tenner. - That's all right, a tenner.
0:49:54 > 0:49:56Yeah, but after commission...
0:49:56 > 0:50:01- Oh.- That dreaded commission.- Oh, you mean you do profit after commission?
0:50:01 > 0:50:05- BOTH: Yes. After commission. - We've lost a bit of...
0:50:05 > 0:50:07Just like you and your agent.
0:50:07 > 0:50:08THEY LAUGH
0:50:08 > 0:50:10'A salutary lesson.
0:50:10 > 0:50:14'Now, for one of Lesley's fine catches - the fish plates.'
0:50:14 > 0:50:19- Monochrome.- What does that mean? - One colour. To you and I, black.
0:50:19 > 0:50:21He's been looking in his book again.
0:50:21 > 0:50:25- Beautifully decorated, a lot of interest. £40 I'm bid.- Whoo!
0:50:25 > 0:50:28Five straight in at 45. Bid 50 now, at £50.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32- 50.- 55, 60. Five, new buyer.
0:50:32 > 0:50:36That's £65. Exceeding all expectations.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38I know!
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Last chance to get involved, at 65...
0:50:41 > 0:50:42sold to you, sir.
0:50:42 > 0:50:45- Very good, well done.- 'Quite a haul.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48'With gilt-edged profits like that, they could well win.'
0:50:48 > 0:50:51That's not too shabby, double money.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54It's not terribly chic either but never mind.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57'Time for Christopher and Mark's bargain cameo.
0:50:57 > 0:50:59'The auctioneer rates it highly.'
0:50:59 > 0:51:03- I've got bids here at £20.- Oh! - £20 but it seems pretty mean.
0:51:03 > 0:51:06Coming in at five at 25, bid 30.
0:51:06 > 0:51:09Five with you, madam, at £35 bid.
0:51:09 > 0:51:1240 with you, sir, at £40. It seems cheap to me.
0:51:12 > 0:51:17- It seems rather expensive to me. - No further interest now at 40.
0:51:17 > 0:51:19- Sold to you, sir, at £40.- Well done.
0:51:19 > 0:51:23'Eight times over. From cameo to star role.
0:51:23 > 0:51:27'But what will the more expensive painting they bought with her make?'
0:51:27 > 0:51:30- We loved this, didn't we?- We did love this. You liked it, didn't you?
0:51:30 > 0:51:32- I like it.- I like it. - We all like it.
0:51:32 > 0:51:33'I like it too.
0:51:33 > 0:51:36- 'We just need some bidders now.' - How do you value it?
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Ought to be £30 to start.
0:51:38 > 0:51:42£30 bid. 35 bid, 40.
0:51:42 > 0:51:45£40 now left-hand side at 40.
0:51:45 > 0:51:46With the lady at £40.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48That's terribly cheap.
0:51:48 > 0:51:51It is your bid, madam, at 40.
0:51:51 > 0:51:53Sold to you at £40.
0:51:53 > 0:51:57'Cor, she's got a nice painting for a very small price.
0:51:57 > 0:52:00'Take care with Lesley's sharp little crocodile paper knife.'
0:52:00 > 0:52:03- Some interest.- Some interest.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05£5 I'm bid, on the books at five.
0:52:05 > 0:52:08- Five.- £8 bid, ten.
0:52:08 > 0:52:11£10 only, 12 may I say? Come along.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14At £14. 16 now.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17- Yes.- 16!- £16 I'm bid on my left.
0:52:17 > 0:52:20There's only a certain amount of people that need one.
0:52:20 > 0:52:24Last chance, I'm going to sell it at £16 and breaking my heart.
0:52:24 > 0:52:25TOGETHER: Very good.
0:52:25 > 0:52:27'He looks happy enough.'
0:52:27 > 0:52:30Well, I can see it was Lesley who found these interesting things.
0:52:30 > 0:52:32- She did.- Much better than your usual stuff.- I know.
0:52:32 > 0:52:33Normally, I make a loss so...
0:52:33 > 0:52:37- You didn't tell me that when I joined up with you.- 'Gulp!
0:52:37 > 0:52:41'Moving on, we have Christopher and Mark's pigeon clock garniture.'
0:52:41 > 0:52:44Any pigeon fanciers out there? Now's your chance.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46CHRISTOPHER IMPERSONATES PIGEON
0:52:46 > 0:52:47Are we in a loft in here?
0:52:47 > 0:52:52- Listen, don't go into animal noises, will you?- We've had some interest.
0:52:52 > 0:52:57At £50 I'm bid. May I say five at 55?
0:52:57 > 0:52:59£55 bid, 60.
0:52:59 > 0:53:0165 bid, 70.
0:53:01 > 0:53:04And five at 75.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07At 75 bid, 80. At £80 stood in front.
0:53:07 > 0:53:11£80, I'm going to have to sell it now at 80 only.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13Sold at £80.
0:53:13 > 0:53:17'An amazing profit, chaps. Lofty you might say.
0:53:17 > 0:53:21'Will the table that James unearthed earn the stamp of approval, though?'
0:53:21 > 0:53:25All it needs is a bit of plate glass cos it's got a rather cheap...
0:53:25 > 0:53:28- Perspex.- ..plastic, Perspex.
0:53:28 > 0:53:32Rather cheap. You heard it here first.
0:53:32 > 0:53:35At £10 I'm bid. £10. 15.
0:53:35 > 0:53:37At 15 bid, 20 now.
0:53:37 > 0:53:4020 bid. 25.
0:53:40 > 0:53:43At 25 bid, 30. At £30.
0:53:43 > 0:53:46- It's quite steady.- It's a table.
0:53:46 > 0:53:51You have to use your imagination. At 35. At £35 I'm bid, at 35.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54All done, I've got to sell it now. At £35.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56Internet, last chance.
0:53:58 > 0:54:00- At 35...- That's OK.- 35.
0:54:00 > 0:54:03'Yeah, it's not bad, more profits,
0:54:03 > 0:54:06'with Lesley's little chair to follow.'
0:54:06 > 0:54:10It was perfect for you, wasn't it? You could sit on it beautifully.
0:54:10 > 0:54:11Absolutely lovely.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Being a very small person.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15What will you bid me? £10?
0:54:15 > 0:54:20Which leg would you like for £10? £10 I'm bid. 15.
0:54:20 > 0:54:23- 15, bid 20, internet. - 20. 20. Go on.
0:54:23 > 0:54:2515, I have.
0:54:25 > 0:54:2720, a new place, 20 I have.
0:54:27 > 0:54:3125. Bid 30. 30 bid. 35.
0:54:31 > 0:54:34- £35, shakes his head at 35.- Go on.
0:54:34 > 0:54:39Last chance, I'm going to sell it now. Last chance. £35.
0:54:39 > 0:54:43- Sold to you, sir.- 'Well, it's a profit before costs are deducted.
0:54:43 > 0:54:45'But this is the big one.
0:54:45 > 0:54:47'If Christopher's lemonade set gamble disappoints,
0:54:47 > 0:54:50'then I think Lesley may have it.'
0:54:50 > 0:54:53- A lot of interest here... - Ooh, a lot of interest.
0:54:53 > 0:54:54At £30.
0:54:54 > 0:54:57Oh, a lot of interest starts at 30.
0:54:57 > 0:54:59At 35, bid 40.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01It'll go up, Christopher.
0:55:01 > 0:55:0360. Five at £65.
0:55:03 > 0:55:05At 65, I'm out.
0:55:05 > 0:55:08That's not what I'd call a lot of interest, is it?
0:55:08 > 0:55:10'This is not looking good.'
0:55:10 > 0:55:1470 now. 75. 80.
0:55:14 > 0:55:16Don't be put off at 85.
0:55:16 > 0:55:1990 now, madam. £90.
0:55:19 > 0:55:21- At 95 I have with the gentleman...- 100!
0:55:21 > 0:55:22Make it 100 to you.
0:55:22 > 0:55:25Last chance, otherwise I'm going to take the internet bid.
0:55:25 > 0:55:28- £100 now to the internet.- Come on.
0:55:28 > 0:55:32- 110. £110 I have.- It's creeping up.
0:55:32 > 0:55:36120. 130, sir? £130.
0:55:36 > 0:55:38It should make a lot more than this.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41- 140. 150, sir?- Ooh.
0:55:41 > 0:55:44And if you're all sure, I've got to sell it now at £140.
0:55:44 > 0:55:47- This is a bargain.- It is a bargain, thank you, Christopher.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49I'm furious with this room.
0:55:49 > 0:55:52At £140, sold to the internet at 140.
0:55:52 > 0:55:55'It did a lot better than the auctioneer expected
0:55:55 > 0:55:57'but not quite enough for Christopher.'
0:55:57 > 0:56:00- Obviously, people in Chiswick don't have lemonade.- No.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02LESLEY LAUGHS
0:56:02 > 0:56:06'Now, for Lesley and James' frog find. Give us a kiss.'
0:56:06 > 0:56:09- You bought this very well, didn't you? You only paid £50 for it?- Yeah.
0:56:09 > 0:56:13- Cheeky offer.- We tried cheeky offers, they said no.
0:56:13 > 0:56:16It's the massive frog that you've all been walking past.
0:56:16 > 0:56:17Yeah. Great frog.
0:56:17 > 0:56:22- £80 I'm bid on the books but it seems pretty mean at 80.- Come on.
0:56:22 > 0:56:25I want you to come in at five. At 85.
0:56:25 > 0:56:28- 90? 90 I have in the room.- 100.
0:56:28 > 0:56:30- 100 now...- 'Leaps and bounds.'
0:56:30 > 0:56:34- At £110 I have.- Come on. - That's good, isn't it?- At £110.
0:56:34 > 0:56:37- Come on, the internet. - Internet, we've got...
0:56:37 > 0:56:40- 120!- 120, at £120...
0:56:40 > 0:56:44- Blimey.- 130 in the room, at 130 now.- Yes!
0:56:44 > 0:56:48- At £130, it is your bid, sir, at 130.- Come on.
0:56:48 > 0:56:54£140, it's leaping away. He's shaking his head at £140.
0:56:54 > 0:56:57At £140 with fair warning...
0:56:57 > 0:56:59sold to the internet...
0:56:59 > 0:57:01- Well done.- Well done. - That was all right.
0:57:01 > 0:57:05'Cor, he turned out to be a handsome prince after all.'
0:57:05 > 0:57:07- Thank you, internet. - Thank you, internet.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10- You have Lesley now thanking the internet.- Yes.
0:57:10 > 0:57:13140, we're happy with that, we're not greedy people, are we?
0:57:13 > 0:57:15No, not at all.
0:57:15 > 0:57:18'So, thanks to some shrewd buys and not one loss,
0:57:18 > 0:57:21'Lesley and James have done very well indeed.'
0:57:22 > 0:57:25- We're all very clever. - You are clever.
0:57:25 > 0:57:27- What are we?- What?- We're not clever.
0:57:27 > 0:57:32'Christopher and Mark began with £400 and after paying auction costs,
0:57:32 > 0:57:38'they made a loss of £88.40, leaving them with £311.60.
0:57:39 > 0:57:43'Whilst Lesley and James, who also started out with £400, made,
0:57:43 > 0:57:48'after paying auction costs, a profit of £101.62.
0:57:48 > 0:57:53'So, they're today's victors with £501.62.
0:57:53 > 0:57:56- 'All profits, of course, go to Children In Need.'- What an evening.
0:57:56 > 0:58:00Now, I have the news you've all been waiting for.
0:58:00 > 0:58:02- Sadly, you've lost.- Oh, no!
0:58:02 > 0:58:04THEY LAUGH
0:58:04 > 0:58:09- No, no, no. I'm afraid, Mark, we lost £90.- No.
0:58:09 > 0:58:16- Whereas Lesley and James, you made £100.- Yeah!- Fantastic.
0:58:16 > 0:58:19- Brilliant, well done, James. - Lesley.
0:58:19 > 0:58:21- What can I say?- Fabulous.
0:58:21 > 0:58:24I'll tell you, though, the whole experience,
0:58:24 > 0:58:26it's been wonderful, especially the lunches and the dinners.
0:58:26 > 0:58:29- They've been fantastic. - Yeah, the rest of it was rubbish.
0:58:29 > 0:58:31- Come on, bye-bye.- Let's go.
0:58:31 > 0:58:36BOTH: # On with the show. #
0:58:36 > 0:58:38Thank you, thank you.