0:00:00 > 0:00:03The nation's favourite celebrities...
0:00:03 > 0:00:06- Ooh, I like that! - ..paired up with an expert...
0:00:06 > 0:00:07Oh, we've had some fun, haven't we?
0:00:07 > 0:00:08..and a classic car.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10It feels as if it could go quite fast.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13Their mission? To scour Britain for antiques.
0:00:13 > 0:00:14TUNELESS HONK
0:00:14 > 0:00:16- Yes!- Fantastic! - I'll do that in slow-mo.
0:00:16 > 0:00:19The aim? To make the biggest profit at auction.
0:00:19 > 0:00:20Come on, boys!
0:00:20 > 0:00:22But it's no easy ride.
0:00:22 > 0:00:23Ta-da!
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Who will find a hidden gem?
0:00:25 > 0:00:26"Don't sell me!"
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Who will take the biggest risks?
0:00:28 > 0:00:29Go away, darling!
0:00:29 > 0:00:32Will anybody follow expert advice?
0:00:32 > 0:00:34I'm trying to spend money here.
0:00:34 > 0:00:35There will be worthy winners.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Yes!- And valiant losers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:44Put your pedal to the metal, this is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Yeah!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56On today's show, prepare yourself.
0:00:56 > 0:01:00We have a pair of funny girls from the dizzy heights of British comedy.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Jan Ravens and Ronni Ancona.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07We need a couple of bottles of Bolly, don't we?
0:01:07 > 0:01:10Do you know, we could. We could just go away, darling.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Just get a couple of bottles of Bolly, darling.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Shall we just get a couple of bottles of Bolly? And go on the run.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Bolly-Stoli, darling, Bolly-Stoli.
0:01:18 > 0:01:22But not before you buy some antiques, you two!
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Impressionist and actor,
0:01:23 > 0:01:29the smouldering Ronni has an illustrious career spanning over 20 years.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33Her big break on Alistair McGowan's Big Impression saw
0:01:33 > 0:01:37her Victoria Beckham impersonation become a much-loved hit.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Her talent for mimicry knows no bounds,
0:01:40 > 0:01:46with sterling performances as Peggy in EastEnders and cooking goddess Nigella.
0:01:46 > 0:01:47A regular on Radio 4,
0:01:47 > 0:01:52Jan is also an esteemed actor and is a stalwart of comedy brilliance on
0:01:52 > 0:01:54the popular Dead Ringers series.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58A talented imitator, she includes Fiona Bruce, Delia Smith,
0:01:58 > 0:02:03and even Her Majesty The Queen in her vast collection of extraordinary impersonations.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09The talented twosome are old friends,
0:02:09 > 0:02:15and have a rather nifty 1977 Jaguar XJC to whoosh about the country in.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Stately.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Look at this Ja...this bea...
0:02:18 > 0:02:19I love a Jaguar!
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I do like a walnut fascia.
0:02:21 > 0:02:22It's so...
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Steady, Ronni.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30They each have a bag of money totalling £400.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35I'm going to spend all the money on a handbag for me.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37- Is that the wrong...? - That's the wrong thing.
0:02:37 > 0:02:41No, you've got to... You can't... I think you can't keep the thing...
0:02:41 > 0:02:43You've got to sell the thing you've bought.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- What?!- You've got to make a profit.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Can I just check the contract on that?
0:02:47 > 0:02:49No, I think you've got to make a profit...
0:02:49 > 0:02:51Ooh, I think we need a bit of expert guidance.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56And who better than auctioneers James Braxton and Philip Serrell?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00Well, for me, this is a lifelong ambition that I've now achieved.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02- Really?- Yeah.- What, to be driven in a Bentley?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04By Braxton. Braxton the chauff...
0:03:04 > 0:03:08Braxton? Drive on, Braxton. Get the Bentley, Braxton.
0:03:08 > 0:03:13- It's got a nice ring to it. - It's got a good ring, hasn't it? - I like it a lot.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18Certainly does. The gents have the majesty of the 1989 Bentley Eight
0:03:18 > 0:03:20to purr about the place in.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22James, when was the last time we worked together?
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Must have been last year.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28And, you know, you get to know people to a certain level
0:03:28 > 0:03:30and then you start teasing them, obviously.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33- Yeah, I know where this is going. - Yeah.
0:03:33 > 0:03:36You and your wig have been a staple of television
0:03:36 > 0:03:38for about 18 years, 16 years?
0:03:38 > 0:03:40James, I don't wear a wig.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43Just concentrate on the driving, Braxton!
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Meanwhile, in the Jag...
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Who are you hoping to have, by the way, as your expert?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I just hope it's not that grumpy one that wears a scarf.
0:04:00 > 0:04:01Whoops!
0:04:04 > 0:04:08Our antiques escapade begins in the town of Redcar in North Yorkshire,
0:04:08 > 0:04:11winding its merry way around the North-east,
0:04:11 > 0:04:15before landing in the Cheshire town of Stockport for the auction finale.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17All right, my bubba?
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Time to meet the grumpy one with the scarf, and good old Brackers.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- Look at that.- It's a lovely car, isn't it?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Lovely smiles, both.
0:04:25 > 0:04:26CAR SQUEALS
0:04:26 > 0:04:29What a racket! Oh, my...
0:04:29 > 0:04:31Could we get some oil, please?
0:04:31 > 0:04:32- Morning!- Morning, morning.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- Hello. This is very jolly. - It is very jolly!
0:04:36 > 0:04:37Very jolly indeed.
0:04:37 > 0:04:40It's sunny and it's Yorkshire. Hello, I'm Jan.
0:04:40 > 0:04:41- Philip, how are you?- Philip, hello.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43James. Very...
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- Good to see you.- I'm Ronni.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48The most important question is, who's with who?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Ronni, how are you?
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- Hi!- I think we're the same height, we are, so...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Well, I think James and Ronni have bonded!
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Is this a height correlation thing? - Ronni, I can offer you the Bentley.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- The Bentley, yeah.- I think that will do, my darling angel!
0:05:01 > 0:05:04Will that be all right for you?!
0:05:04 > 0:05:07Time to get those big wheels moving.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09With Ronni and James in the Bentley...
0:05:11 > 0:05:13..and Jan and Phil in the Jag.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Teams decided, are there any plans afoot?
0:05:18 > 0:05:23I negotiate for you, or we bring a third person along with us.
0:05:23 > 0:05:24- A third person?- Yeah.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Maybe we could get...
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- AS THERESA MAY:- ..Theresa May to come along,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30with her, ha, her forced laugh and her tense mouth and, erm,
0:05:30 > 0:05:34she would conduct a very proper, ha, negotiation.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Let's leave them to it, and join the other pair.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42Jim, this car, she just purrs!
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- It's lovely, isn't it? - I've suddenly developed
0:05:46 > 0:05:50an appalling superiority complex ever since I've got in it.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54I've suddenly realised my whole life has been wrong,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57driving a rusty old lawn mower.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Can we order up a Bentley for Ronni, please?
0:06:03 > 0:06:07Redcar Antiques is the first port of call for Ronni and James.
0:06:07 > 0:06:09Just look at that weather.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11That's so beautiful.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13It's calling us, calling us, isn't it?
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- It's like a treasure trove.- Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19It certainly is jam-packed in there.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30Ronni wastes no time finding something she rather fancies.
0:06:30 > 0:06:35These fantastic old watercolour things are just...
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Lovely watercolour boxes, aren't they?
0:06:37 > 0:06:41Who's that? £25, so that's mahogany, isn't it?
0:06:41 > 0:06:42It's lovely.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44George Rowney & Sons were a notable
0:06:44 > 0:06:48and much-respected art materials manufacturer,
0:06:48 > 0:06:50and even supplied the eminent Constable and Turner,
0:06:50 > 0:06:52don't you know?
0:06:52 > 0:06:55This reminds me of my grandfather, who was an artist.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00He used to paint me little scenes from the ballet and send me.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03And his father was a cartoonist for Punch,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05and was one of the first cartoonists
0:07:05 > 0:07:09to do those big heads on little bodies on football cards.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Those old football cards.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13And my mother was an artist, and it ran in the family.
0:07:13 > 0:07:18And I loved... I always used to remember coming up to her room
0:07:18 > 0:07:21when she was painting, or my grandfather,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23and these lovely old palettes.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Yeah. That's a nice item, that.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27But it is a beautiful item,
0:07:27 > 0:07:30especially if we can pass it off as Van Gogh's!
0:07:30 > 0:07:33We can give it a go, James, what do you think?
0:07:33 > 0:07:36Steady! As a trained artist herself,
0:07:36 > 0:07:40it's no wonder that it's caught Ronni's eye.
0:07:40 > 0:07:43- What's this, then?- These are fun.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47- Look. This is a mechanical drinks cabinet.- Oh, wow!
0:07:47 > 0:07:49- Wow!- Isn't that fun?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50You see, that's fantastic.
0:07:50 > 0:07:53But in my case, it would have to be open at all times!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55- It's too much... - That is a great thing.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57And do you come across a lot of these?
0:07:57 > 0:08:00Yeah, it's one of those things that used to be around a lot,
0:08:00 > 0:08:03but now has slightly disappeared from the auction rooms.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04They're great fun.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- This is what people had in their offices.- Amazing.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10To me, it fascinates me because I think, who opened that up?
0:08:10 > 0:08:12Who had conversations over that?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Romantic. It's priced at £250.
0:08:17 > 0:08:19While they have another rootle about,
0:08:19 > 0:08:21let's catch up with Jan and Phil.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Do you study dialects and things like that?
0:08:24 > 0:08:26No. Oh, sorry, do you know what I thought you said?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Dialects. Dialects.- I thought you said, "Do you study Daleks?"
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Yeah, no, sorry about that.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33I was about to say, "No, I've never liked Doctor Who!"
0:08:33 > 0:08:35Watch your diction, Phil.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40Our duo have made their way to the town of Yarm in Stockton on Tees.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46Rudby House Antiques owned by Sandy is their first shop of choice.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49It has three floors of wares to peruse.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55Look, my mum used to have all these Doulton ornaments.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56I never liked them then.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58- They're an age gone by, aren't they? - Yeah, they are.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Leave the Royal Doulton behind then.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05What's this she's found?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Oh, look at these little mouse things!
0:09:07 > 0:09:10I went to a visit to my husband's old school,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13and they had those little mice on the benches, you know,
0:09:13 > 0:09:15the dining room benches.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- Can I get them out? - Of course you can.
0:09:17 > 0:09:21Robert "Mouseman" Thompson is a British furniture maker
0:09:21 > 0:09:23renowned for a signature mouse,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26which made its first appearance in 1919
0:09:26 > 0:09:30due to a chance conversation about being as poor as a church mouse.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35What you really want from a Mouseman is the earlier examples.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37This is a cheeseboard.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40- Yes.- And you can see where someone's just cut it, which in a way...
0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Is nice.- Yeah, yeah.
0:09:42 > 0:09:46But I would think these are probably quite late in Mouseman terms.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Perhaps '60s.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52The cheeseboard has a ticket price of £150.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Time for a chat with Sandy, I fancy.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56So the cheeseboard.
0:09:56 > 0:09:59It's a lovely little thing, but you've had it a while.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02- I have.- We can tell you what we think we can pay for it.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Like £80-90's worth.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Well, I'll try and do my best for you, I really will.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09- I know you will, you helped me before.- I will,
0:10:09 > 0:10:11I'll try and do my best. Right.
0:10:11 > 0:10:14Oh, aye. While Sandy has a think about the price,
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Jan and Phil practise their skills of negotiation.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Sandy, could you take £50?
0:10:19 > 0:10:20- AS SANDY:- Well, yes...
0:10:20 > 0:10:22A little Edwardian...
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Yes, I'm back, so don't say anything you don't want me to hear!
0:10:25 > 0:10:27I was just about to do an impression of you!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- She was doing an impression of you, it was really good!- Were you?
0:10:30 > 0:10:32- AS SANDY:- Yes, I was! I was doing an impression.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35Yes. Oh, you need your eyes testing
0:10:35 > 0:10:39if you think I'm going to give that away for £100!
0:10:39 > 0:10:41She's good, isn't she?
0:10:41 > 0:10:42- No.- No!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44- THEY LAUGH - No!
0:10:44 > 0:10:45I think you're brilliant.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Aw, thank you.- I think you're brilliant.
0:10:47 > 0:10:51Thank you. Now, what do we think? Oh, look, we've got matching nails.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53- We haven't got matching hands, though.- No, not you.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Nice diversion, Jan.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58You did say £90. I can't do it on £90.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- OK.- But I'll do it for £100.
0:11:00 > 0:11:01I'm going to go for the Mouseman cheeseboard.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Is that a deal? Deal.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05- Deal, Jan.- OK.
0:11:05 > 0:11:09Pay up, Jan. £40 discount off the Mouseman cheese platter
0:11:09 > 0:11:11is an excellent result.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12You're a lovely woman, Jan.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14You're a lovely woman, Sandy, thank you very much.
0:11:14 > 0:11:16- AS SANDI TOKSVIG:- Not as nice as my very good friend
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- Sandi Toksvig, though. - THEY LAUGH
0:11:19 > 0:11:23- Oh, yes!- Sandi Toksvig, curiously, curiously.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25- NORMAL VOICE:- Yes. Good old Sandi.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26- That's good.- Yeah?
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Ee, by gum.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Meanwhile back in sunny Redcar, anybody fancy a wind farm?
0:11:33 > 0:11:36I mean, a choc ice? How are our determined shoppers getting on,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38in a roundabout sort of way?
0:11:40 > 0:11:41What items do you like?
0:11:41 > 0:11:46I really do, I do like that Edwardian drinks cabinet.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50You can buy another item, you know, we can always buy two.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54What is your opinion at all, even?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55I like the artist's box.
0:11:55 > 0:11:59It has something of you, your theatrical...backdrops,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02the artist, all that sort of thing.
0:12:02 > 0:12:06Now, James is going to help guide negotiations.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Remember, the drinks cabinet with the cocktail shaker and glasses
0:12:09 > 0:12:13is priced at £250, and the artist's box at £25.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Stand by for a masterclass.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Now, James, if I said to you £140 for the drinks cabinet...
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I'd say £150.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23You'd say £150.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26And Ronni, I would shake his hand at £150.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28I think we could do £150, yes.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31- Shake, shake it.- That's a good deal. - That's a good deal.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35- Done a deal! We've done a deal. - But... What about the artist's box?
0:12:35 > 0:12:39- Well, I love the artist's box... - Could be...- A tenner or something?
0:12:39 > 0:12:42- It can be £10 if you like. - A tenner?- Yes, please.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44Shake his hand, Ronni. Shake his hand.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46- James, give me your hand. - I could get used to this.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I think I'm going to kiss it!
0:12:48 > 0:12:50Hey, don't frighten the bloke!
0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Thank you so much, James. - Money, money.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- £160.- Oh, money!- Money, yeah.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57He might change his mind!
0:12:57 > 0:12:59That was swift and efficient.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02And two lovely lots to start you off.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Meanwhile, Jan and Phil...
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Can you do a Ronni?
0:13:06 > 0:13:10- AS RONNI:- Oh, darling, well, I do do Ronni, darling,
0:13:10 > 0:13:14but you know, I think she's got a bit sick of me doing her, darling.
0:13:14 > 0:13:18Because you know, the thing with Ronni is you think she's,
0:13:18 > 0:13:21you know, really, you know, kind of dippy...
0:13:21 > 0:13:25- NORMAL VOICE:- But actually she's an Exocet missile, darling.- Is she?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27She certainly is!
0:13:27 > 0:13:32Jan and Phil have journeyed to the town of Hartlepool in County Durham.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36She doesn't know it yet, but we've got a real treat in store for her.
0:13:40 > 0:13:45This quiet little town dates back as far as the seventh century.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46But according to local legend,
0:13:46 > 0:13:50it was the site of a terrifying and sordid episode.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Here we are, look. - The Museum of Hartlepool!
0:13:53 > 0:13:57OK. Well, this is all a bit of a mystery.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01As one of the country's leading satirists,
0:14:01 > 0:14:04Jan is meeting with museum curator Mark Simmonds
0:14:04 > 0:14:07to find out about one of the early forms of satire
0:14:07 > 0:14:10that took place right here in the 19th century.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14During the Napoleonic Wars,
0:14:14 > 0:14:18a French ship was seen floundering off the coast of Hartlepool.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22Throughout this period, there was a real threat of invasion.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Locals gathered at the beach to investigate the wreck
0:14:25 > 0:14:29to find there was one remaining survivor.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Clinging to the wreckage is a tiny little shivering monkey...
0:14:33 > 0:14:34- Oh!- That's sad, isn't it?
0:14:34 > 0:14:37..in a little, sort of, sailor costume.
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Only the fishermen don't realise it's a monkey.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42They hear its gibbering in fright,
0:14:42 > 0:14:45and they think that it's a Frenchman speaking French,
0:14:45 > 0:14:48- because they've never seen a Frenchman before.- A monkey?
0:14:48 > 0:14:52The ship's monkey mascot confused the fishermen.
0:14:52 > 0:14:56They believed their simian hostage was a French spy.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59They sentenced the poor beast to death,
0:14:59 > 0:15:01hanging it in the town square.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03They thought the monkey was a Frenchman,
0:15:03 > 0:15:05cos they'd never seen a French person before?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You've spotted the big thing with the legend.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10It's complete rubbish, it's not true at all.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Actually, the roots of this tale lie in a song,
0:15:13 > 0:15:16"The Fishermen hung the Monkey O!"
0:15:16 > 0:15:20It was written by local folk singer and comedian Ned Corvan,
0:15:20 > 0:15:24some 50 years after the incident is supposed to have occurred.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27# Come and see the Frenchie who's landed on the beach
0:15:27 > 0:15:30# He's got long arms, a great long tail
0:15:30 > 0:15:31# And he's covered all in hair
0:15:31 > 0:15:36# We think that he's a spy, so we'll hang him in the square... #
0:15:36 > 0:15:41The idea was that it was poking fun at how silly,
0:15:41 > 0:15:43how stupid could people be.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46And it's the people that he's talking about, the fishermen,
0:15:46 > 0:15:49who are singing the song along with him in the pubs,
0:15:49 > 0:15:50in the music halls.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53In the original words of the song,
0:15:53 > 0:15:57there's little hints that they're poking fun at local politicians
0:15:57 > 0:15:59and local bigwigs.
0:15:59 > 0:16:01So it was kind of like the Spitting Image of its day,
0:16:01 > 0:16:03or indeed the Dead Ringers.
0:16:03 > 0:16:04Yeah, exactly.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07So, the joke is about how can people be so stupid
0:16:07 > 0:16:09not to realise these things.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11And isn't that what satirists do?
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Satirists exaggerate.
0:16:12 > 0:16:14Yeah, you do exaggerate,
0:16:14 > 0:16:16obviously you always exaggerate for comic effect,
0:16:16 > 0:16:19but I think you have to be careful about what symbols you use.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21They were living in a different world.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23The 1850s is a very different world.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25No, there was no political correctness, that's for sure.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27But there is a very different attitude,
0:16:27 > 0:16:29you're living in very different sort of times.
0:16:29 > 0:16:32And humour doesn't age well, does it?
0:16:32 > 0:16:35Are there people around who believe the story themselves?
0:16:35 > 0:16:40I've met people who honestly believe there was a...there was a real ship,
0:16:40 > 0:16:42- there was a real monkey... - Is this local people...?
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Local people, yeah, I've spoken to people
0:16:44 > 0:16:46who believe that the story is still true.
0:16:46 > 0:16:50But there's no connection between a monkey and Hartlepool
0:16:50 > 0:16:53before Corvan does his song in 1854.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Over the centuries, the legend has been much used
0:16:56 > 0:17:01to taunt Hartlepudlians, and has remained such a popular tale
0:17:01 > 0:17:06that even the local rugby team are known as the Monkey Hangers.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08Locals take the story in good humour,
0:17:08 > 0:17:11and even have a statue to the monkey's honour.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14The myth may be bizarre and strange,
0:17:14 > 0:17:18but the ditty penned over 150 years ago is responsible for giving
0:17:18 > 0:17:23Hartlepool a piece of folklore that refuses to disappear.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Let's catch up now with Ronni and James.
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Let's hear Nigella preparing a chocolate cake.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32- No, she doesn't do chocolate cake now.- Why?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Because now she does things like avocado on toast.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38But she still makes it sound very complex.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40I love bread.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42It's so primal.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45It's like eating the essence of life itself.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48And when it's cooked, it's called toast.
0:17:50 > 0:17:55Very good! Nigella...I mean Ronni and James
0:17:55 > 0:17:58have travelled south east to the village of Sleights
0:17:58 > 0:17:59in the Esk Valley.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03Eskdale Antiques beckons.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Hey, this is lovely, isn't it?
0:18:06 > 0:18:08It looks gorgeous!
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Looks delightful.
0:18:14 > 0:18:19My name is Lena, queen of the Lilos. Come!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23I love the way he's arranged this...
0:18:23 > 0:18:25I don't know if you're taking this seriously enough.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28I am taking it seriously.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- I'm going to be in trouble, now... - Put down the cones.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33His bark is worse than his bite.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36- As you were, Ronni.- Right.- Right.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- Oh, now.- What are you finding now? - Look at this!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Oooh! Cor, that's got a bit of weight to it.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43- Has it got a bit of weight? - That's got a bit of weight.
0:18:43 > 0:18:45It's rather gorgeous, isn't it?
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I like a bit of brass, don't you?
0:18:47 > 0:18:49- Do you like a bit of brass? - I've got...
0:18:49 > 0:18:50I love a bit of brass.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Do you clean it, Ronni?
0:18:52 > 0:18:55I am a prime brass cleaner.
0:18:55 > 0:18:59- Well done.- Now look, I love this, because I'm obsessed with elephants.
0:18:59 > 0:19:02- So am I!- Now, I quite like this.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05Do you know anything... What does it say? Hang on.
0:19:05 > 0:19:07I think it's got a bit of age, I think it's 19th century,
0:19:07 > 0:19:12- it's a vase, it's probably Chinese. - Asian elephant vase.- Asian.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17So not...definitely not Asian dolphin with a long tongue vase.
0:19:17 > 0:19:19It's quite sparing, isn't it? It's quite sparing.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Beautifully made. So, this is all inlaid.
0:19:22 > 0:19:25It's a brass body, a bit of silver pewter.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27This is potentially interesting.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Ronni, what's the price on it?
0:19:29 > 0:19:32It's £125.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- We can't do that. - Never look at a price tag.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36We need to get that under £50.
0:19:36 > 0:19:40I love the way you said that, "Never look at a price tag."
0:19:40 > 0:19:42Let's go and see shopkeeper Phil
0:19:42 > 0:19:44to get to grips with a possible deal.
0:19:44 > 0:19:47- Have you found something you're interested in?- Yes.
0:19:47 > 0:19:50We rather like this piece. Where's he gone? Oh, there he is!
0:19:50 > 0:19:52You can't miss a Braxton.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Phil, what sort of age do you think it is?
0:19:54 > 0:19:57- 1880s?- Yeah, I think so. - Yeah, late Victorian.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Yeah, late 19th century, with that band there.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02We had ascertained that with the...
0:20:02 > 0:20:04- I told James about that, he didn't know.- Yeah.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Could that be £40, Phil?
0:20:06 > 0:20:07It does have a good bit of quality.
0:20:07 > 0:20:12I think we could probably be doing that at about £65.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14£65.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15THEY BREATHE OUT LOUDLY
0:20:15 > 0:20:18Now, this is where you sound like your plumber, you see.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20- You go... - HE BREATHES OUT LOUDLY
0:20:20 > 0:20:24Well, see, I'd love to help you. I'd love to help you out with that.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27But, thing is... It's more than my life's worth.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30I mean, 65... 60?
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- 60 would be fine.- I would have said far less than that!
0:20:34 > 0:20:38- Oh, no! I've done it all wrong! - No, we won't...
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- I can't go back now!- Oh, James!
0:20:41 > 0:20:4360 is a very good deal.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46Ronni's haggled a great discount.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48What a successful day.
0:20:48 > 0:20:51It's successful, although I sense you were a little bit miffed
0:20:51 > 0:20:53about my deal-making at the end.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Yeah, I thought the deal-making was rubbish, really.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59So, considering my opening offer was £40...
0:20:59 > 0:21:05The point is, he offered 65, and I, the milk of human kindness,
0:21:05 > 0:21:08- I couldn't bear to... - What, shaved off a fiver?!
0:21:08 > 0:21:09Go on, go on, drive me home.
0:21:09 > 0:21:12I was trying to be kind!
0:21:13 > 0:21:17It was like a shaving of Parmesan.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20You did a brilliant job there, Ronni.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23Don't listen to the rumbles from James.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I think a bit of a rest, don't you? So, nighty night.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Refreshed and ready for the day ahead,
0:21:35 > 0:21:38how are we feeling this morning, girls?
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Today, I have a feeling I've changed,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44I'm going to be hard, I'm going to be ruthless.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- Are you?- Yeah, ruthless. I'm going to show him.
0:21:46 > 0:21:53In fact, when James offers a price, I'm going to actually undercut him.
0:21:53 > 0:21:57And I'll go, "My partner, he don't know what he's talking about.
0:21:57 > 0:22:00"He may be offering 40, but I'm telling you, 20's my final offer.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03"I'm going to be Wideboy Ancona today."
0:22:03 > 0:22:06You've gone more like Pat from EastEnders, actually!
0:22:08 > 0:22:12Ronni's revved up for buying, but what about Happy and Grumpy?
0:22:12 > 0:22:15So the thing with Jan yesterday,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18is that you say to Jan "be a Brummie,"
0:22:18 > 0:22:19- she can be a Brummie.- Yeah.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20"Be a Scouser," she can be a Scouser.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23- "Be a Geordie", she can be a Geordie.- Yeah.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25There's this instant dialect, accent, whatever.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27I'm in awe of it, really.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Ronni's very elegant and she speaks very quietly.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Very quietly. So she draws you in,
0:22:32 > 0:22:34- she draws you in. - She kind of whispers.
0:22:34 > 0:22:39She certainly does. Yesterday, our talented girls entered
0:22:39 > 0:22:42into the realm of antiques with plenty of gusto.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47Ronni and James launched into proceedings with the utmost of zest.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51They bought the watercolour set, the rather nifty drinks cabinet,
0:22:51 > 0:22:53and the Chinese bronze vase.
0:22:53 > 0:22:58They have £180 left in their road-tripping wallet.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Jan and Phil were very careful with their money.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04They bought the Mouseman cheese platter
0:23:04 > 0:23:07and have a massive £300 to splurge.
0:23:07 > 0:23:11CAR HORN HOOTS Right, let's catch up with the troops.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14It's got a horn hasn't it?
0:23:17 > 0:23:19- Hi.- So hi there.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21- How are you?- Have you missed us?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23- Desperately. Desperately. - It's been so long.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Come on, it's time for more shopping.
0:23:25 > 0:23:30- What have we got, what have you got?- More shopping.- Hello love.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33- Hi, hi.- My favourite alpine.
0:23:33 > 0:23:34Favourite what?
0:23:34 > 0:23:37My favourite alpine outfit.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40Have you been doing impersonations of us?
0:23:40 > 0:23:41We want to know that.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44No, we would never do anything that disrespectful, would we Jan?
0:23:44 > 0:23:46No.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50No. Course we wouldn't. No, we wouldn't.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53We'd better get on, cos otherwise we'll never get finished today.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56For goodness' sake... Next time you're bargaining,
0:23:56 > 0:23:57could you do better?
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Come on, come on.
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Whoever you are then, the shops await.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Let's jump in with Jan and Philip.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09They're making their way to the village of West Auckland
0:24:09 > 0:24:10in County Durham.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Now, just while there's no-one else here and there is no-one watching,
0:24:13 > 0:24:18no-one listening and we're just on our own, do me a James.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20Do you a James?
0:24:20 > 0:24:25Well, the thing about James is that he talks through a smile
0:24:25 > 0:24:27the whole time, doesn't he?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Sort of from up here somewhere.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32That's uncanny.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Another beautiful day,
0:24:35 > 0:24:38Hagas Antiques is where we're headed.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40It's crammed to the rafters, don't you know.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Phil is sharing his knowledge.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50If I owned this, what I would do is take all of these handles
0:24:50 > 0:24:51off and throw them away
0:24:51 > 0:24:54and I'd start again, but I'd make them all odd.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56I think you'd have quite a bit of fun, perhaps with a glass handle,
0:24:56 > 0:24:59a porcelain handle, a brass swan-neck handle.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01That's a very boho idea, Phil.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- Well, you know. - That's very boho, isn't it?
0:25:05 > 0:25:07- What would Hyacinth think to that? - Hyacinth?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Well, of course it's Hyacinth's territory
0:25:09 > 0:25:11where we're going for the auction, isn't it?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15I think Hyacinth would think that was perfectly awful, scruffy.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- She'd like mahogany?- She'd like a nice mahogany with a doily on top.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21- Right.- Quite right.
0:25:27 > 0:25:33After a mosey around, Jan finds something interesting.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37It's sweet, it's got a design on the bottom as well as the top.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41I would think there is every chance that that's a little snuffbox.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45Possibly Indian silver, but possibly not.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48You could sort of carry your pills around in your handbag in it.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Whenever you needed them, sweetie.
0:25:50 > 0:25:53This is where I need a jolly good look.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56And actually, I think I might need...
0:25:56 > 0:26:00- Sorry?- Time to look professional, eh, Phil?
0:26:02 > 0:26:03Oh, hello.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Yeah, see, this actually doesn't tell me anything at all,
0:26:06 > 0:26:09but it does look rather good on camera, it makes me look...
0:26:09 > 0:26:11As if you know what you're talking about.
0:26:11 > 0:26:15But the reality is, you and I both know that I haven't got a clue.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18I think it's £5 or £10 worth.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22And while she's there, Jan's spied another little something.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24This is quite sweet. What's that?
0:26:24 > 0:26:27That's a little spill vase and...
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Spills for...?
0:26:29 > 0:26:31- For the fire?- Well, either for the fire...
0:26:31 > 0:26:33Or you could put a fragrance in there?
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Or a little flower vase, but it's Chinese,
0:26:35 > 0:26:38you can tell it's Chinese, cos these are bamboo shoots, look.
0:26:38 > 0:26:43It's about 100-120 years old, it's a little bit of Chinese export silver
0:26:43 > 0:26:46and if you bought the two for £30 you'd probably be all right.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48You can make the one lot.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Neither item is priced.
0:26:52 > 0:26:56Time to find owner Alistair to talk money, but hang on, what's this?
0:26:56 > 0:26:59Sitting down with tea and cake?
0:26:59 > 0:27:02Well, I suppose Phil is getting on a bit.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04I think the way forward might be, Jan,
0:27:04 > 0:27:06if you told Alistair what we're interested in and
0:27:06 > 0:27:10you be the good cop and I'll be the miserable, horrible...
0:27:10 > 0:27:12Surely not.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15- The price is off. - Oh, Alistair, you gave me a fright.
0:27:15 > 0:27:20That little snuffbox or pillbox,
0:27:20 > 0:27:24is probably around ten quid and the other thing is around £20,
0:27:24 > 0:27:25that's where we're coming from.
0:27:27 > 0:27:30Hasn't it gone quiet? It has, hasn't it?
0:27:30 > 0:27:32Would you like a bit of cake, the cake's really good.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34Well, I was just wondering if you wanted
0:27:34 > 0:27:37the shirt off my back as well.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39We do have to watch him, Alistair.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42I think I could do them for a really good price of £40 for you, Phil.
0:27:42 > 0:27:44- Really?- Yeah.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47I think there's a nice profit in there.
0:27:48 > 0:27:51What about if we made you our best offer of 30 quid?
0:27:51 > 0:27:55No disrespect, Phil, but if the lady to offer me, £35,
0:27:55 > 0:27:57then I might be able to accept it.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Go 30 and see what he says.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04Hold your hand out like that, you've got to shake his hand.
0:28:04 > 0:28:0630?
0:28:07 > 0:28:12- Go on, then. You're a star, Alistair.- Thank you. Thank you so much.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14- Can I shake you by the hand? - You can.- You're a gentleman.
0:28:14 > 0:28:17Nice bit of work there, Jan and Phil.
0:28:17 > 0:28:20The snuffbox and the spill vase for £30.
0:28:20 > 0:28:21Well done.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23Meanwhile, back in the Bentley.
0:28:23 > 0:28:25I have one word for you, Ronni.
0:28:25 > 0:28:26- Oh, yes?- Quoits.
0:28:26 > 0:28:28How dare you, sir.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Quoits. It's a game.
0:28:30 > 0:28:33Is that in your very beautiful RP accent,
0:28:33 > 0:28:36is that you just mispronouncing kites?
0:28:36 > 0:28:38- No.- I'm going to fly kites, kites.
0:28:38 > 0:28:41I'm going to go into tine
0:28:41 > 0:28:43- to do kites. No, it's...- Quoits.
0:28:43 > 0:28:48- It's quoits.- Oh, quoits.- Quoits.
0:28:48 > 0:28:51Quite right. What on earth are they babbling on about?
0:28:51 > 0:28:53Well, I'll tell you.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57Ronni and James have motored to the town of Darlington in County Durham.
0:28:57 > 0:29:00James has sniffed out a rather exclusive club
0:29:00 > 0:29:04dedicated to a sport that dates back thousands of years.
0:29:04 > 0:29:06Founded 170 years ago,
0:29:06 > 0:29:10the Darlington Quoits Club is the oldest surviving club of its type
0:29:10 > 0:29:12in England.
0:29:12 > 0:29:15The game involves throwing a metal ring around a target
0:29:15 > 0:29:16on the ground.
0:29:18 > 0:29:19Hello.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22And Ronni and James are meeting with the club president, Dave Watson,
0:29:22 > 0:29:27to find out just why this ancient game has survived the sands of time.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30- Do come in.- I'm so excited. - Ladies first, there we are.
0:29:30 > 0:29:32- Thank you. Ladies first. - Look at this.
0:29:32 > 0:29:33- Oh, yes, it's a quoit.- A quoit.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36Well done, James, quoit right.
0:29:36 > 0:29:37By the 15th century,
0:29:37 > 0:29:41quoits was an organised sport in pubs and taverns,
0:29:41 > 0:29:43particularly in the north-east of England.
0:29:43 > 0:29:47And by 1881, the first official rules were printed.
0:29:50 > 0:29:52Dave, I know you're a huge expert in this,
0:29:52 > 0:29:56so forgive the sort of simplicity of this initial question,
0:29:56 > 0:29:58but what is quoits?
0:29:58 > 0:30:02Well, it's a game. And it originated in ancient Greece,
0:30:02 > 0:30:05it was one of the five games of the pentathlon.
0:30:05 > 0:30:10Later on it came to England, brought by the Romans when they invaded.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12They tended to throw at a target,
0:30:12 > 0:30:15so instead of throwing it as far as you could,
0:30:15 > 0:30:18they were throwing it at an object placed on the ground.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22As time marched on, the sporting pastime
0:30:22 > 0:30:25was a firm favourite with the workers of the land
0:30:25 > 0:30:29and when the Industrial Revolution spawned an army of a workforce in
0:30:29 > 0:30:34mining and steel industries, quoits had a peak of popularity.
0:30:34 > 0:30:37What makes Darlington quoits club quite so special,
0:30:37 > 0:30:38which, of course, it is?
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Absolutely. Established in 1846 and here are
0:30:41 > 0:30:44some of the founding members.
0:30:44 > 0:30:46There were, in fact, 49 of them altogether.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49And they were all professional people,
0:30:49 > 0:30:50there was a banker, a tanner.
0:30:50 > 0:30:52And that was different, wasn't it?
0:30:52 > 0:30:54That was unusual, that they were professionals.
0:30:54 > 0:30:57Absolutely. Instead of the working people being involved,
0:30:57 > 0:30:59we have more professional people.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03And was that exclusive to Darlington Quoit Club in a way?
0:31:03 > 0:31:07Pretty much so, yes. And it goes on today.
0:31:07 > 0:31:10Enough of the history, what about a go at the game itself?
0:31:11 > 0:31:13Dave first.
0:31:15 > 0:31:18- Oh!- That's bang on.- That's bang on. - This is a ringer.
0:31:18 > 0:31:21- That's a ringer. - It's gone around the hob.
0:31:21 > 0:31:24Cracking shot. Your turn now, James.
0:31:24 > 0:31:26One, two...
0:31:28 > 0:31:30METAL CLANGS
0:31:30 > 0:31:32Just slightly overenthusiastic.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35Sorry about the window.
0:31:35 > 0:31:38- We'll pay for that later. - You get in.
0:31:38 > 0:31:40- It's alternate.- Go on.
0:31:40 > 0:31:43- That's out of your lunch money, isn't it?- Go on.
0:31:43 > 0:31:45Right.
0:31:45 > 0:31:47I'm a bit scared, I'm a bit nervous.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Watch the loafers.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51They're very smart.
0:31:52 > 0:31:55METAL CLANGS
0:31:58 > 0:32:00Oh good, I'm still nearer.
0:32:00 > 0:32:02- Sorry!- I'm still nearer.
0:32:02 > 0:32:05Hopeless, the pair of you!
0:32:05 > 0:32:07Since it was founded in 1846,
0:32:07 > 0:32:11Darlington Quoits Club has been a guardian of a sport that has changed
0:32:11 > 0:32:17little since its creation 2,500 years ago.
0:32:17 > 0:32:21Time for James to recreate the game of the ancient Greeks.
0:32:21 > 0:32:23Off come the braces.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28What are you doing?
0:32:28 > 0:32:29What is he doing?
0:32:31 > 0:32:34Now, surely to goodness, he's not going to...
0:32:35 > 0:32:38Oh, crikey Moses, he is!
0:32:38 > 0:32:39Watch how this is done, OK?
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Well.
0:32:42 > 0:32:47The ancient Greeks would have felt the clay between their toes.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51He is a sight for sore eyes, that man.
0:32:53 > 0:32:57Crikey. Now, where's Jan and Phil?
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Let's have an eavesdrop.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01It's very funny, because I'm just thinking as we're going
0:33:01 > 0:33:05along in the car, that that bloke will probably be, you know,
0:33:05 > 0:33:07- doing his voice-over. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tim.
0:33:07 > 0:33:13So look here, I say, all going along in this lovely country road,
0:33:13 > 0:33:15I wonder what they're going to buy, because soon
0:33:15 > 0:33:17they're going to arrive at another shop.
0:33:17 > 0:33:21Come on Jan, show us what you're made of!
0:33:21 > 0:33:25Well, funnily enough the voice-over bloke will probably say
0:33:25 > 0:33:29"Jan, you'd better get a move on and stop dilly-dallying," actually.
0:33:29 > 0:33:31What about the Bentley? Dare I listen in?
0:33:31 > 0:33:37Now, I heard a rumour that you two have been doing impressions of us?
0:33:37 > 0:33:40- Yes.- I think that's quite frankly...
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Do you think it's impertinent?
0:33:42 > 0:33:44A little bit, yes.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47I know how you feel.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50The gang have made their way to the tower of Barnard Castle
0:33:50 > 0:33:52in County Durham.
0:33:53 > 0:33:55We're sharing a shop,
0:33:55 > 0:33:58good job Mission Hall Antiques is big enough for this bunch.
0:33:58 > 0:34:02There are over 40 dealers selling their wares in here
0:34:02 > 0:34:05and Jan and Phil are first to arrive.
0:34:05 > 0:34:07I want to try and buy something nice and big.
0:34:07 > 0:34:08- Meaty beaty.- Yeah.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12- Big and bouncy?- Meaty beaty big and bouncy, that's what I want.
0:34:12 > 0:34:16All right, Jan. You've got £270 left.
0:34:23 > 0:34:26Doesn't take them long to find something either.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28Can you hold it? I'm going to get my glasses out.
0:34:28 > 0:34:32I think it's quite sweet actually, I think it's a good choice.
0:34:32 > 0:34:35- It's from Chester, it's gold. - That's where we're going, isn't it?
0:34:35 > 0:34:37Yeah, so we're going near Chester.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39So somebody might think that's rather lovely.
0:34:39 > 0:34:44- A bit of an association?- Yeah. RAF sweetheart brooch, 1926-27.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46We've got two chances with that,
0:34:46 > 0:34:49there's the RAF connection and then there's the Chester connection,
0:34:49 > 0:34:51but it's all down to money, isn't it?
0:34:53 > 0:34:55Dave, what will be the very best on that?
0:34:55 > 0:34:57- What's it got on it?- BOTH: 48.
0:34:59 > 0:35:02Are we going the very best straightaway, are we?
0:35:02 > 0:35:04We might go a bit lower than the very best,
0:35:04 > 0:35:07you never know your luck really, do you?
0:35:07 > 0:35:09£40?
0:35:09 > 0:35:11Well, that's one to consider then.
0:35:16 > 0:35:20Jan's spotted something too, a kitchen cabinet.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23- Quite different.- I really like this.
0:35:23 > 0:35:24I think that's lovely.
0:35:24 > 0:35:28It's kind of, you know, it's plain, it's functional, it's kitchen-y,
0:35:28 > 0:35:31it sort of reminds me of that painting by Vermeer,
0:35:31 > 0:35:33of the maid with the jug, you know,
0:35:33 > 0:35:36and the light coming through the window.
0:35:36 > 0:35:39Because it's just sort of simple and it serves a purpose and it has these
0:35:39 > 0:35:42- really useful...- Drop flaps. - ..drop flaps.
0:35:42 > 0:35:45- How much is that?- 180.
0:35:45 > 0:35:48While those two ruminate...
0:35:49 > 0:35:51..Ronni and James have arrived.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56- Well done, in we hop-ski.- All right.
0:35:56 > 0:36:02£180 is the sum total Ronni and James have left to splash.
0:36:09 > 0:36:12- These are quite fun.- Oh, yes, tell me about those.
0:36:12 > 0:36:15- They're very pretty.- They were based on Dutch flower bricks.
0:36:15 > 0:36:19- Yes.- And it's tin oxide, pottery.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21And this is Isis, Oxford.
0:36:21 > 0:36:24- Oh, from Oxford?- From Oxford, yeah.- Cos that's the river Isis?
0:36:24 > 0:36:26- Yeah.- Would this be a copy of...? - Copy, yeah.
0:36:26 > 0:36:28- Dutch Delft.- Dutch Delft.
0:36:28 > 0:36:31- Which would be, like, 18th century? - 18th century.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34It was for...it was called a flower brick and you put
0:36:34 > 0:36:37- individual blooms in that. - But it's a nice copy, isn't it?
0:36:37 > 0:36:40- It's a lovely copy.- And do you think that was very close to what they
0:36:40 > 0:36:42- would have looked like?- Exactly.
0:36:42 > 0:36:45- Wow!- That is a copy with great integrity.
0:36:45 > 0:36:49It's priced at £24 and is a possibility.
0:36:49 > 0:36:52On the other side of the shop, Jan and Phil are still looking.
0:36:53 > 0:36:56See, this one's rather sort of hunky chunky, isn't it?
0:36:56 > 0:36:58- Yeah.- A bit like Phil.
0:36:58 > 0:37:00I like that.
0:37:00 > 0:37:02There's a smaller one next to it, but this one,
0:37:02 > 0:37:04you could, like, you know,
0:37:04 > 0:37:08you could either keep it as a ladder or you could mount it on a wall
0:37:08 > 0:37:09as a display thing.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11I've seen them used as shelves.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13And you don't like that one at any price?
0:37:15 > 0:37:19Er... Well, I don't mind it, how much are they?
0:37:19 > 0:37:21Shall I go and get Dave?
0:37:21 > 0:37:23Time to call in Dave to see if there's a deal to be made
0:37:23 > 0:37:24on the hunky chunky.
0:37:24 > 0:37:27Out of the three sets of stepladders Dave,
0:37:27 > 0:37:31which do you think you could do the best deal on for us?
0:37:31 > 0:37:33We quite like the big chunky ones.
0:37:33 > 0:37:36Them big ones, they're a very sellable item...
0:37:36 > 0:37:39Dave, you're getting your caveats in before we've even got to the price
0:37:39 > 0:37:42- yet, Dave.- I don't even know what's on it.
0:37:42 > 0:37:44The ticket price is £85.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46Our very best shot is 50 quid.
0:37:46 > 0:37:50I'll tell you what I'll do, you can have them for 60.
0:37:50 > 0:37:53I think that's very, very reasonable.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55- So, do you want to buy those? - Yeah, OK, done.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58Stick with fashion, thank you very much.
0:37:58 > 0:38:00- Thank you.- Thank you very much. - Cheers now.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02And while we're in the mood for deals,
0:38:02 > 0:38:04what about that kitchen cabinet?
0:38:04 > 0:38:07It's priced at £180.
0:38:07 > 0:38:09There's also this, Dave, which I'm very keen on,
0:38:09 > 0:38:12I think it's very sort of utilitarian and pleasant.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14And very popular at the moment.
0:38:15 > 0:38:18Yes, you want to tell me how fabulous all my choices are.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21Well, if you're selling in auction, I think it's important.
0:38:21 > 0:38:24- What could you do that for, please? - 150.- And is that the finish?
0:38:24 > 0:38:26Well, it's more or less, yes.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30I think if we bought that, that could lose us about 70 quid.
0:38:30 > 0:38:31If you think you're going to lose £70,
0:38:31 > 0:38:34there's not much point losing another tenner is there?
0:38:34 > 0:38:35No, but we've got to like it,
0:38:35 > 0:38:37there's a logic in that, isn't there?
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Yeah, there is a logic in that.
0:38:39 > 0:38:43While Jan has a think, what about the other two?
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Now these are interesting,
0:38:45 > 0:38:49they're, obviously, to print for a locomotive book, aren't they?
0:38:49 > 0:38:50- Yeah.- They're printing blocks.
0:38:50 > 0:38:52They're steam locomotives.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55- They're gorgeous.- If you were mad on trains...
0:38:55 > 0:38:56Which my father is.
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Obsessed with them.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00- Aren't they lovely?- Yes.
0:39:00 > 0:39:02- I mean...- They're £10.
0:39:02 > 0:39:05So, this one is going through a bridge, which is a classic scene.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08We've got puff, puff, puff for smoke there, haven't we?
0:39:08 > 0:39:10You can smell the printing press on them.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Ronni, you've got to choose one.
0:39:12 > 0:39:15- Cool.- So, I like that one.
0:39:15 > 0:39:17- Shall we put that one down? - OK.- Put that one down.
0:39:17 > 0:39:19And we've got the flower brick?
0:39:19 > 0:39:22- We've got the flower brick. - Are you happy with those?
0:39:22 > 0:39:24I am.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27There was some reluctance there, Ronni.
0:39:27 > 0:39:29Well, you know, no, I am.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32I don't want to steam roller you into anything.
0:39:32 > 0:39:35You are being a bit of a bossy boots, James.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37Let's find Dave to cut a deal.
0:39:37 > 0:39:42The flower brick is priced at £24 and the printing block is ten.
0:39:42 > 0:39:45It's talking turkey time.
0:39:45 > 0:39:49- Dave, can you do anything on these? - Can you do anything?
0:39:49 > 0:39:52- Can I do anything on this? - Take mercy on us.- Take mercy.
0:39:52 > 0:39:55- Have mercy.- Rule of the house.
0:39:55 > 0:39:57- Rule of the house. - No discount under £10.
0:39:57 > 0:40:00Under... Jolly lucky they're not £9,
0:40:00 > 0:40:04otherwise we wouldn't have got the discount, would we?
0:40:04 > 0:40:08Oh, that was lucky. So lucky they're ten, so how much do you give on...
0:40:08 > 0:40:11Well, as a goodwill gesture, I'll knock you a pound off that
0:40:11 > 0:40:13and I'll do that for 20.
0:40:13 > 0:40:15What do you think, Ronni? £20...
0:40:15 > 0:40:17- £20.- ..and £9?
0:40:17 > 0:40:19I think that's a good deal. Thank you, Dave.
0:40:19 > 0:40:23- Well done, well done. - Thank you very much.- Thanks you.
0:40:23 > 0:40:25RONNI AND JAMES SIGH WITH RELIEF
0:40:25 > 0:40:26Thank you, Dave.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29And just when you think it's all over...
0:40:29 > 0:40:31- SHE GASPS - Look at that.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35- What is that?- That is hysterical.
0:40:35 > 0:40:39- It's a glass boot.- Do you know, I've never seen a glass boot.
0:40:39 > 0:40:42- Talk about a glass slipper. Cinderella.- That's fabulous.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45That's kind of like for a hipster Cinderella.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48- Is it heavy?- It is heavy. I presume it's a vase, right?
0:40:48 > 0:40:51It would be a vase, but isn't that great?
0:40:51 > 0:40:54Isn't that the campest thing you have ever seen?
0:40:54 > 0:40:56Well, do you know what sells? Camp and cute.
0:40:56 > 0:41:00- 35.- Let's buy.- Shall we do it? - Yeah, we've got the money.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Come on, let's do it, let's go back in.
0:41:02 > 0:41:04- Back in.- Back in.- Oh, Dave!
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- Can you do a special price? - Special price.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08Special price.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11Special price, seeing as it's time to go home.
0:41:11 > 0:41:14Time to go home, that's always good. People are desperate to go home.
0:41:14 > 0:41:16- Quick, get the money.- £25.- 25.
0:41:16 > 0:41:19- That's great.- Let's do it. We've done it.- Have you got it? 25.
0:41:19 > 0:41:20I'm so excited.
0:41:20 > 0:41:25A very swift purchase and £10 discount off Ronni's final buy,
0:41:25 > 0:41:28the very camp glass boot.
0:41:29 > 0:41:31Back to Jan and Phil.
0:41:31 > 0:41:33Remember the RAF sweetheart brooch from earlier?
0:41:33 > 0:41:37Well, Dave has agreed a price of £35, so what's next?
0:41:39 > 0:41:43I'm going to go for that nice little kitchen cabinet
0:41:43 > 0:41:45that reminds me of the Vermeer painting.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48Well, it's a nice thing. It's got a...
0:41:48 > 0:41:52He said 150, he could perhaps knock a tenner off, perhaps a bit more.
0:41:52 > 0:41:53We've got 175 left, haven't we?
0:41:53 > 0:41:57- Mm.- I'm going to make one last suggestion to you.
0:41:57 > 0:41:58- Mm-hm.- Just down there
0:41:58 > 0:42:02there's a little child's Lloyd Loom rocking chair.
0:42:02 > 0:42:05Now if you want to spend all of your money.
0:42:05 > 0:42:07That's good, that's interesting.
0:42:07 > 0:42:11Phil's leaving Jan on her ownsome to close the deal.
0:42:11 > 0:42:14I've got £175 left.
0:42:14 > 0:42:19I would like to make an offer on the pine cabinet in there.
0:42:19 > 0:42:23- Yes.- There's also this interesting little rocking chair here.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25- Mm-hm.- Child's rocking chair.
0:42:25 > 0:42:27Do you know how much that is?
0:42:27 > 0:42:28It would have 45 on it.
0:42:28 > 0:42:32And that's 35 and the cabinet is 140.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34I said 150 on the cabinet.
0:42:34 > 0:42:36£10, I wouldn't mess you about.
0:42:36 > 0:42:38OK. £175.
0:42:38 > 0:42:40- Thank you very much. - How did you get on?
0:42:40 > 0:42:42- How did you get on?- I got a deal.
0:42:42 > 0:42:44- Well done, you.- I got a deal.
0:42:46 > 0:42:49Well done, Jan, you've blown the entire budget.
0:42:49 > 0:42:53What a way to finish the shopping.
0:42:53 > 0:42:57Come on, let's have a nosy at the bumper haul from both couples.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01Come on, actions speak louder than words.
0:43:01 > 0:43:03- Yes!- Go on, ready?
0:43:03 > 0:43:05Ooh!
0:43:06 > 0:43:09- There we are.- OK! - I love your paintbox.
0:43:09 > 0:43:11- Shall I show you our...?- Yeah.
0:43:11 > 0:43:12Shall I do the...?
0:43:12 > 0:43:16- It looks a very humble table, here you are, mahogany...- Presentation.
0:43:16 > 0:43:20..and then you lift it up and it's a mechanical drinks...
0:43:20 > 0:43:23- Mechanical drinks! - LAUGHTER
0:43:23 > 0:43:26It's perfect for the office, when you're giving someone the sack.
0:43:26 > 0:43:29And then, look, here you are.
0:43:29 > 0:43:31And then, look at the soft close, look at that.
0:43:31 > 0:43:34- Look at that, come on! - Look at that!- That's going to...
0:43:34 > 0:43:37- Look at that! - Look at it!- Look at it!
0:43:37 > 0:43:42Which camp Cinderella left this here?
0:43:42 > 0:43:44- This is...- This is a glass slipper!
0:43:44 > 0:43:47- No, this is Cinderella's Wellington boot.- OK!
0:43:47 > 0:43:51- Yeah.- If Cinderella lived in Hoxton or Shoreditch...
0:43:51 > 0:43:54- Yeah.- ..she'd have this instead of a glass slipper.
0:43:54 > 0:43:58- Via Murano.- Come on!- Right, you've seen ours, let's see your haul.
0:43:58 > 0:44:00Reveal the rubbish!
0:44:00 > 0:44:01Oh.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05- BOTH: Oh! - Actually...
0:44:05 > 0:44:08- Oh! - ..they've got some nice things.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11- So...- I tell you, you could furnish a flat with that, couldn't you?
0:44:11 > 0:44:13- Yeah.- Now look, let's have a look at this.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16This is a Mouseman cheeseboard and I thought you'd like this, Ronni,
0:44:16 > 0:44:20- cos it's got a little creature on it.- Oh, a woodland creature.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24- Yes, a little creature.- I have mouse cheese plate envy now.
0:44:24 > 0:44:25- And here.- What is that?
0:44:25 > 0:44:28Well, this is a rather lovely kitchen cabinet,
0:44:28 > 0:44:30which I might just...
0:44:30 > 0:44:33Does it open up to reveal decanters?
0:44:33 > 0:44:37- Yeah. Is it mechanical?- I'm afraid it doesn't.- What does it do?
0:44:37 > 0:44:40- What does it do?- It does this. - Oh, it's just hinged!
0:44:40 > 0:44:42- Yeah, it's just sort of... It's a hinge.- Hinged!
0:44:42 > 0:44:45It's very sort of earthy, like me.
0:44:45 > 0:44:48It's very Taurean. Earthy, passionate and prone to run to fat.
0:44:48 > 0:44:50LAUGHTER And, um...
0:44:50 > 0:44:52Anyway, see you in Yorkshire.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56TIM: 'Right! Spill it, you lot. What do you really think?'
0:44:56 > 0:44:59- I love a woodland creature. - Yeah, the mouse.
0:44:59 > 0:45:01- I'm a slave to a woodland creature. - Yeah.
0:45:01 > 0:45:06- The boot's going to make a profit, isn't it?- I suppose... I mean,
0:45:06 > 0:45:09it's one of those things where, if there's somebody that likes...
0:45:09 > 0:45:13ghastly, kitsch boots, then, yes, it will.
0:45:13 > 0:45:16- I don't know! - Oh, rubbish. Come on, have faith.
0:45:16 > 0:45:18- What do you think about their stuff? - I think we're winners.
0:45:18 > 0:45:21- AMERICAN ACCENT:- I feel I can own my purchase,
0:45:21 > 0:45:25if you know what I'm saying. I can own it.
0:45:25 > 0:45:27- I can't say any more.- OK.
0:45:27 > 0:45:30SHE GIGGLES TIM: You do own it, Jan.
0:45:31 > 0:45:34And, on that note, let's get cracking to Stockport in Cheshire.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36We have an auction to attend! Oh, yes.
0:45:37 > 0:45:40James, I mean, he doesn't stop smiling.
0:45:40 > 0:45:43- He doesn't actually. - Actually, it's a bit sinister.
0:45:43 > 0:45:48There's a touch about the "Here's looking at you!"
0:45:48 > 0:45:51- Oh, yes.- It's a touch of the old Jack Nicholson.- Here's Johnny!
0:45:51 > 0:45:55- Here's James!- Here's James!
0:45:55 > 0:46:00"My cocktail cabinet is going to be better than any goddamn..."
0:46:00 > 0:46:05- "Any goddamn kitchen cabinet." - ".. goddamn pine kitchen cabinet."
0:46:05 > 0:46:09Jack Nicholson? That's a bit of a compliment.
0:46:09 > 0:46:12- Here they are! - The gents await the ladies' arrival.
0:46:12 > 0:46:14TYRE SQUEAKS
0:46:14 > 0:46:16- Ha-ha!- Squeaky-deaky!
0:46:16 > 0:46:19- Darling angels. - Vision of loveliness and beauty.
0:46:19 > 0:46:22- The big day, guys! - It is, isn't it?- We ready?
0:46:22 > 0:46:24- Are we pumping?- Hello, darling.
0:46:24 > 0:46:27- I've got the feeling we're going to win.- Hello. Mwah!
0:46:27 > 0:46:32- Good morning.- Good morning. Mwah! - Right, let battle commence.
0:46:32 > 0:46:34TIM: 'Let battle commence indeed.'
0:46:36 > 0:46:40Ronni and James have spent £274 on six lots.
0:46:41 > 0:46:45Jan went for it and blew the whole 400 on six lots.
0:46:45 > 0:46:47Good for her!
0:46:49 > 0:46:51Maxwell Auctioneers is the saleroom,
0:46:51 > 0:46:55where, hopefully, the profits will fly for this giggly gang.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58The auction is also open to internet bidders.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01The man thumping the gavel is Max Blackmore.
0:47:01 > 0:47:04Has he any special faves from our roadtrippers?
0:47:06 > 0:47:08The pop-up drinks cabinet,
0:47:08 > 0:47:13it's a nice example and I think we'll do OK with it.
0:47:13 > 0:47:17This is as nice a pair of vintage steps as I've seen.
0:47:17 > 0:47:21Always popular as decorator's items, furnishing items.
0:47:21 > 0:47:24- I think they'll do quite well. - Here's hoping.
0:47:24 > 0:47:26So exciting, isn't it?
0:47:26 > 0:47:29TIM: 'Come on, you lot, get settled. The auction is in full swing.'
0:47:30 > 0:47:33Quite nervous!
0:47:33 > 0:47:38First up, it's Ronni's hipster Cinderella glass boot.
0:47:38 > 0:47:42- I'm sweating. I'm so nervous. - It'll come up on the thing.
0:47:42 > 0:47:44Jan, my heart is literally beating.
0:47:44 > 0:47:47- Come on, let's kick off at ten. £10 anyone?- Can I hold it up?
0:47:47 > 0:47:51Ten bid, 12, 15, 18.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54I think it's Murano. Should I say that? I have no idea
0:47:54 > 0:47:56if that's the case or not, but I'm desperate.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58£18, we're selling.
0:47:58 > 0:48:01- At £18 and going. - GAVEL BANGS
0:48:01 > 0:48:04- £18.- That's all right. That's all right.
0:48:04 > 0:48:07Bad luck. Fortunately, it's only the first lot.
0:48:07 > 0:48:09So that was a bit of a loss, wasn't it?
0:48:09 > 0:48:12It could have been worse. It could have sold for ten, couldn't it?
0:48:12 > 0:48:14Loving your spirit there, James!
0:48:14 > 0:48:18Jan's turn now, with the RAF sweetheart broach.
0:48:18 > 0:48:19I think this is going to do well.
0:48:19 > 0:48:2120 bid, I've 20, 25?
0:48:21 > 0:48:2625 bid. Lady in the front, you're against the net, 30 on the net.
0:48:26 > 0:48:28- 30 on the net? - What's 30 on the net?
0:48:28 > 0:48:30- Anybody else in the room? - Absentee bid.
0:48:30 > 0:48:31£30 on the net and I'm selling it.
0:48:31 > 0:48:33Any further bids now?
0:48:33 > 0:48:36- All done. - GAVEL BANGS
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Didn't take off. Small loss, but plenty more to go.
0:48:39 > 0:48:42I'm not too upset about that.
0:48:42 > 0:48:45Good. It's Ronni next, with the printing block.
0:48:45 > 0:48:49- Chip off?- The engraved... The printing...- Locomotive.
0:48:49 > 0:48:50Steam enthusiasts here?
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Michael Portillo. Is he here?
0:48:52 > 0:48:55- He'd love it, wouldn't it? - LIKE DIANE ABBOTT:- Diane Abbott?
0:48:55 > 0:48:57She'd get onto Michael and say,
0:48:57 > 0:49:00"Michael, there is a printed plate
0:49:00 > 0:49:05"of a steam train going to Hackney."
0:49:05 > 0:49:09- I've 10 here, up to 15. - In profit!- 15?
0:49:09 > 0:49:12At £15 on the net. At 20.
0:49:12 > 0:49:17- £20, front row here. - I-I can hardly breathe!
0:49:17 > 0:49:19- I'm hyperventilating. - Do you want one of your pills?
0:49:19 > 0:49:20Can I have one of my pills?
0:49:20 > 0:49:24It's on the front row, it's £20. All done and selling.
0:49:24 > 0:49:26GAVEL BANGS
0:49:26 > 0:49:28Careful, we might buy it back ourselves.
0:49:28 > 0:49:30We're so good.
0:49:30 > 0:49:33Better. This is more like it.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36OK. Who's got the James Braxton impression?
0:49:36 > 0:49:37- LIKE JAMES:- So do you!
0:49:37 > 0:49:39LAUGHTER
0:49:39 > 0:49:41Actually, I think that, um...
0:49:41 > 0:49:45both of us quite like... Actually...um...
0:49:45 > 0:49:48- SHE MUMBLES - Hold on, hold on!
0:49:48 > 0:49:50I do enunciate my words.
0:49:50 > 0:49:54No, you do ENUNCIATE your words very well. EN-UN-CIATE!
0:49:54 > 0:49:57- POSH ACCENT:- Some people are too posh to enunciate at all!
0:49:57 > 0:50:00- Quite a lot of posh people do that. - Yeah, yeah. They just say...
0:50:00 > 0:50:03- Like Camilla Parker Bowles. - There's no need to. Why would you?
0:50:03 > 0:50:07I think we might have touched a nerve with the Braxton there.
0:50:07 > 0:50:10It's Jan's turn, with the child's chair next.
0:50:10 > 0:50:12£20 with me, at £20.
0:50:12 > 0:50:14- That's ample. Ample.- Shush!
0:50:14 > 0:50:17At £20 and 5. 30.
0:50:17 > 0:50:1930? 30.
0:50:19 > 0:50:22£30, it's cheap, this. Come on. At £30, then.
0:50:22 > 0:50:24GAVEL BANGS
0:50:24 > 0:50:26Minimal loss.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28You've still got another four to go.
0:50:28 > 0:50:32Well, it could've been worse, could've been worse.
0:50:32 > 0:50:35Precisely! It's Ronni's watercolour set up next.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37£20, little watercolour set.
0:50:37 > 0:50:3920 bid, 20 I have.
0:50:39 > 0:50:40Gentleman seated at 20.
0:50:40 > 0:50:42- Well done.- Keep going!
0:50:42 > 0:50:44Up to 30 now on the net, jumping in.
0:50:44 > 0:50:4535, he's back again.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48Against you now on the net. We're in the room, £35.
0:50:48 > 0:50:4935, the nice gentleman there.
0:50:49 > 0:50:53- Shall we say...- Yes, no? Come on, £40 bid.
0:50:53 > 0:50:55£40, at £40 now.
0:50:55 > 0:50:57Anybody else? All done this time?
0:50:57 > 0:50:58GAVEL BANGS
0:50:58 > 0:51:00- Squee!- Well done, James. That's good, isn't it?
0:51:00 > 0:51:02And I happened to choose it.
0:51:02 > 0:51:06- Yeah, Ronni, it's all down to you. - I think you're a natural at this.
0:51:06 > 0:51:08What about that?
0:51:08 > 0:51:12She certainly is. That is the biggest profit so far!
0:51:12 > 0:51:16It's very nice that you two could come along, isn't it?
0:51:16 > 0:51:18LAUGHTER
0:51:18 > 0:51:20Do you know it's beginning to wear off on her now?
0:51:20 > 0:51:23I mean, I thought she was quite nice.
0:51:23 > 0:51:28Indeed she is, Phil. Right, it's Jan's kitchen cabinet next.
0:51:28 > 0:51:29This is the one I bought,
0:51:29 > 0:51:31because it reminded me of that Vermeer painting.
0:51:31 > 0:51:35I think there's something very sort of simple and, you know,
0:51:35 > 0:51:37sort of pure about it.
0:51:37 > 0:51:3940 bid, at 40, 45.
0:51:39 > 0:51:41JAMES LAUGHS
0:51:41 > 0:51:42- Don't laugh.- Anybody else now?
0:51:42 > 0:51:45- 50. - It's going to happen to us, Ronni.
0:51:45 > 0:51:47- I know it is.- 55.
0:51:47 > 0:51:49- There you are, look, 55.- No?
0:51:49 > 0:51:5055.
0:51:52 > 0:51:54- It'll go up.- No interest on the net.
0:51:54 > 0:51:56I'm selling at 55.
0:51:56 > 0:51:59He's just bought a very cheap table, hasn't he?
0:51:59 > 0:52:01- That's a cheap one.- That's unfair.
0:52:01 > 0:52:05Oh, dear, Jan! I'm afraid Phil was proved right with that lot.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07- I can't believe it. - That's heartbreaking.
0:52:09 > 0:52:11The auction room pitfalls, I'm afraid.
0:52:11 > 0:52:14Ronni, it's your flower brick next.
0:52:14 > 0:52:17What we could do is we could fail to admit
0:52:17 > 0:52:21that it's the copy of the Delft piece and just say it's the Delft.
0:52:21 > 0:52:23No, but it has 1996 on the base.
0:52:23 > 0:52:24£20?
0:52:26 > 0:52:29Yes. We're on the net at 20.
0:52:29 > 0:52:31- On the net at 20.- 22.
0:52:31 > 0:52:36- At 22, I'll go in twos.- Bless you! - 25?- God bless you, sir!
0:52:36 > 0:52:38- God bless you!- 28. Going to you on the net.
0:52:38 > 0:52:4028 in the room.
0:52:40 > 0:52:43At 28 on the front row, then. Going to you on the net.
0:52:43 > 0:52:45GAVEL BANGS
0:52:45 > 0:52:47- 28! - LIKE JAMES:- 28!
0:52:47 > 0:52:50God, I think I should take this up professionally.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52SHE LAUGHS
0:52:52 > 0:52:54Yeah, great result there, Ronni.
0:52:56 > 0:53:00The Mouseman cheeseboard is next.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02That's my favourite of all yours.
0:53:02 > 0:53:04Little woodland creature!
0:53:04 > 0:53:07£50, nice and low. We're on the net at 50.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09- There you are.- On the net.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11Where are we? 55.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13- Well done.- 60...
0:53:14 > 0:53:19- 65, with the lady.- Yes! - 65 in the room and selling at 65.
0:53:19 > 0:53:22Anybody else now? It's gotta go.
0:53:22 > 0:53:23GAVEL BANGS
0:53:23 > 0:53:27- God, I wish I could buy things as cheaply as all these...- I know!
0:53:27 > 0:53:31I know, Jan. The buyer has got a cracker of a deal there.
0:53:33 > 0:53:37Ronni's weighty Chinese bronze vase is next.
0:53:37 > 0:53:38100 I have.
0:53:38 > 0:53:40SHE GASPS
0:53:40 > 0:53:42Good buy.
0:53:42 > 0:53:45Not so funny about my bargaining now.
0:53:45 > 0:53:47Come on.
0:53:47 > 0:53:49Sounds reasonable for the quality of vase.
0:53:49 > 0:53:51£100 I have.
0:53:51 > 0:53:54I'm selling that at £100.
0:53:54 > 0:53:56One and only bid on the net.
0:53:56 > 0:53:57GAVEL BANGS
0:54:00 > 0:54:02Do you know, I've strangely changed my opinion about that vase.
0:54:02 > 0:54:04I think it's gorgeous.
0:54:05 > 0:54:06Another good profit.
0:54:06 > 0:54:09More like this, please, Ronni.
0:54:09 > 0:54:12Jan's hunky chunky ladders are next.
0:54:12 > 0:54:14Who wants a step up?
0:54:14 > 0:54:16- At 40.- Lovely action.
0:54:16 > 0:54:19You could put your plants on there.
0:54:19 > 0:54:21- We're away.- 55, 60.
0:54:21 > 0:54:2465, 70.
0:54:24 > 0:54:27- Well done, you! Well done, you! - On commission with me, at 70.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30Any further bids now at 70?
0:54:30 > 0:54:32All done in the room?
0:54:32 > 0:54:34Gone away on the net, it's with me.
0:54:34 > 0:54:35GAVEL BANGS
0:54:35 > 0:54:38- 70!- That's good.- Well done! Congratulations!- It's profit!
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Well done, you. Well done, you.
0:54:41 > 0:54:44Congratulations, Jan. A wonderful result.
0:54:44 > 0:54:47- Quite uplifting!- Phew!
0:54:47 > 0:54:49- That's good.- It's a relief.
0:54:50 > 0:54:55Moving on, it's Ronni's beloved swish drinks cabinet next.
0:54:55 > 0:54:58Sir, may I demonstrate its soft close?
0:54:58 > 0:55:00- JAN LAUGHS - I'd be delighted if you do.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03The power of mechanics, this is all...
0:55:03 > 0:55:04Look at this.
0:55:05 > 0:55:07- Ooh!- Lo and behold...
0:55:09 > 0:55:12- Still going.- Do a little flourish. Like that.
0:55:12 > 0:55:13Needs manual assistance.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16It's six o'clock, let's pretend it's six o'clock.
0:55:16 > 0:55:17- There we are. - Beautifully modelled, James.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19LAUGHTER
0:55:19 > 0:55:22- It's a lovely item. - We've gotta start somewhere.
0:55:22 > 0:55:2460, then. Come on.
0:55:24 > 0:55:2660 bid, £60.
0:55:26 > 0:55:29- Oh, come on, it's very rare! - JAN LAUGHS
0:55:29 > 0:55:33I mean, I'm not an expert myself, but it is very rare.
0:55:33 > 0:55:3665. 70.
0:55:36 > 0:55:38£70.
0:55:38 > 0:55:42- £70.- £70!- £70!
0:55:42 > 0:55:43- Come on!- 70.- Come on!
0:55:43 > 0:55:46- Keep going, sir.- I'm trying.
0:55:46 > 0:55:48- JAN LAUGHS - I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted!
0:55:48 > 0:55:50- 75.- Oh, well done!
0:55:50 > 0:55:52£75. 80.
0:55:52 > 0:55:56- Come back again. - They're buying out of pity for you!
0:55:56 > 0:55:5885, 90.
0:55:58 > 0:56:00You won't? £90.
0:56:00 > 0:56:02At £90.
0:56:02 > 0:56:0695. 100. £100.
0:56:06 > 0:56:10- It's going, going, gone. - GAVEL BANGS
0:56:10 > 0:56:14- Yes, all the best with that, sir. - RONNI AND JAMES SIGH
0:56:14 > 0:56:18Ouch! What a shame for such a great object.
0:56:20 > 0:56:24It's the final lot of the day - Jan's snuff box and spill vase.
0:56:24 > 0:56:28- Come on, Jan!- It would be nice if we just made a decent profit on a lot,
0:56:28 > 0:56:29- wouldn't it?- Yeah.- Let's start.
0:56:29 > 0:56:3220 bid, at £20.
0:56:32 > 0:56:3630 I have on the net. At £30. 35. 40.
0:56:36 > 0:56:39- He's a nice bidder.- He's good!
0:56:39 > 0:56:4150. 55.
0:56:41 > 0:56:4460. 65.
0:56:44 > 0:56:46- 70. 75. - RONNI GASPS
0:56:46 > 0:56:4780.
0:56:47 > 0:56:51- £80, front row. Are you bidding down there?- Well done.
0:56:51 > 0:56:53£80 on the front row. Anybody else now?
0:56:55 > 0:56:57- GAVEL BANGS - Front row has it.
0:56:57 > 0:57:00- Well done, well done. - Well done! That's fantastic.
0:57:00 > 0:57:03- Not bad.- That helps us a little bit, doesn't it?
0:57:03 > 0:57:04Yeah, well done. It's very good.
0:57:04 > 0:57:08Certainly does and it's been Jan's best profit.
0:57:08 > 0:57:10I think we've all done very well.
0:57:10 > 0:57:12We better go and do the sums now.
0:57:12 > 0:57:13- Yeah, OK.- Sums, sums.
0:57:13 > 0:57:17Good idea. Let's figure out the calculations.
0:57:17 > 0:57:21So Jan and Phil began with £400.
0:57:21 > 0:57:27After all auction costs, they made a loss of £129.40.
0:57:27 > 0:57:29Their final earnings are...
0:57:32 > 0:57:36Ronni and James also started proceedings with £400
0:57:36 > 0:57:39and, after all saleroom costs, they have made a loss,
0:57:39 > 0:57:44but a much smaller one, at £23.08.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Their final earnings are...
0:57:48 > 0:57:53..making them the winners of the day! Don't look so serious.
0:57:53 > 0:57:55- JAN:- I'm drained! - It is exhausting.
0:57:55 > 0:57:58- It is, isn't it?- It's exhausting! - It's emotionally draining.
0:57:58 > 0:58:00- RONNI:- It's emotionally draining.
0:58:00 > 0:58:02It's exhausting and I've got some numbers.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05Well, you're about £100 ahead of us.
0:58:05 > 0:58:09- No?- You've won.- Really? We've won! - Well done, you. Well done, you.
0:58:09 > 0:58:12- Well done!- Wow! - Aw, Jan!- Oh, well done!
0:58:12 > 0:58:14Oh, well, time to head for home!
0:58:15 > 0:58:18- Bye!- Bye!- Bye! - TYRES SQUEAL
0:58:18 > 0:58:20I told you to get some oil!
0:58:22 > 0:58:26- JAN:- Haven't we been to some lovely parts of the world on our trip?
0:58:26 > 0:58:30- So beautiful!- Bye-bye, girls! We're so sad to see you go!