Episode 9

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03The nation's favourite celebrities...

0:00:03 > 0:00:06- Just want to touch bass!- ..paired up with an expert...

0:00:06 > 0:00:07- Boo!- Ha!

0:00:07 > 0:00:09..and a classic car.

0:00:09 > 0:00:13- No hands.- Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15My office, now!

0:00:15 > 0:00:19The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no easy ride.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21CREAKING

0:00:21 > 0:00:22Who will find a hidden gem?

0:00:22 > 0:00:24- HONK - I like that.

0:00:24 > 0:00:27- Who will take the biggest risk? - This could end in disaster.

0:00:27 > 0:00:30Will anybody follow expert advice?

0:00:30 > 0:00:31But I love this.

0:00:31 > 0:00:33Why would you buy something you're not going to use?

0:00:33 > 0:00:35There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

0:00:35 > 0:00:37No, I don't want to shake hands.

0:00:37 > 0:00:40- Put your pedal to the metal.- Let me get out of first gear.

0:00:40 > 0:00:43This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48Yeah!

0:00:50 > 0:00:52On air in this antiques road trip

0:00:52 > 0:00:55are two gents with long careers in the fourth estate,

0:00:55 > 0:00:58broadcasters John Sergeant and Peter White.

0:00:58 > 0:01:03They are travelling in a sweet 1961 Morris Minor convertible,

0:01:03 > 0:01:05manufactured before seat belts were compulsory,

0:01:05 > 0:01:08so they're not wearing any. Seat belts, that is.

0:01:08 > 0:01:12I haven't driven a car like this for more than 40 years.

0:01:12 > 0:01:15We had one like this with my wife, the first car we bought,

0:01:15 > 0:01:18we were terribly proud of it, and...

0:01:18 > 0:01:20I had no idea...

0:01:20 > 0:01:24- Good gear change.- Oh, gosh, if I'd done that.- At least you can hear them all, though!

0:01:24 > 0:01:28Modern cars are quite boring for blind people, because they just purr along,

0:01:28 > 0:01:32nothing much happens. Whereas driving with you is very exciting.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37Peter's mellifluous tones will be familiar to Radio 4 listeners from

0:01:37 > 0:01:40programmes such as You and Yours and In Touch.

0:01:40 > 0:01:45Blind since birth, Peter began his broadcasting career at Radio Solent

0:01:45 > 0:01:49before becoming the BBC's correspondent on disability affairs.

0:01:49 > 0:01:52- Peter White, BBC News.- Passionate about sport,

0:01:52 > 0:01:55he's a regular reporter from the Paralympics.

0:01:55 > 0:02:00Reporters, we're competitive, aren't we?

0:02:00 > 0:02:04But I'm very competitive as well, I've already won a cooking prize,

0:02:04 > 0:02:10I've also won a stand-up with various other BBC notables, stand-up comedy,

0:02:10 > 0:02:13the assumption there was I think that I got the sympathy vote but I don't

0:02:13 > 0:02:17think that's true, I think I was much funnier than all of them.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Peter's rival, John Sergeant,

0:02:19 > 0:02:25first appeared on screen in 1966 with Alan Bennett in the comedy series

0:02:25 > 0:02:27On The Margin.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29A newspaper, radio and TV journalist,

0:02:29 > 0:02:32he became chief political editor at the BBC,

0:02:32 > 0:02:35where he had some memorable encounters.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Mrs Thatcher, could I ask you to comment?

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Good evening, good evening.

0:02:39 > 0:02:40- Where's the microphone?- It's here.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43- This is the microphone.- I'm actually very pleased that I got more than

0:02:43 > 0:02:45half the Parliamentary party.

0:02:45 > 0:02:50He regularly presents TV documentaries and features and is still,

0:02:50 > 0:02:54nine years on, fondly remembered for his moves on Strictly Come Dancing.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I wasn't allowed to do that!

0:02:59 > 0:03:01I can't be allowed to win, can I,

0:03:01 > 0:03:04it would be wrong, it would be bad, Peter, it would be,

0:03:04 > 0:03:06well, it would be immoral, wouldn't it?

0:03:06 > 0:03:08Because you have this unfair advantage

0:03:08 > 0:03:14- of being able to see!- Yes.- I'm suspicious that this will be a double bluff,

0:03:14 > 0:03:18and because everybody will assume that the blind person is going to win

0:03:18 > 0:03:21out of sympathy or whatever it is, and then, and then,

0:03:21 > 0:03:25what will happen is, out of the blue, guess what, John Sergeant,

0:03:25 > 0:03:27who can see these antiques, wins!

0:03:27 > 0:03:29- He wins, a double twist.- A double twist.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Lost me, there. Over to our antiques double twist now,

0:03:35 > 0:03:40James Braxton and Phil Serrell, travelling in a 1980 MG BGT.

0:03:40 > 0:03:41I fear for you, Philip.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Why is that?

0:03:43 > 0:03:46They're brainy. They're top broadcasters.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48What are you trying to say, James?

0:03:48 > 0:03:52I'm worried that your old grey matter is up to it.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Well, I've had a word with the one grey cell and I think we're going to

0:03:55 > 0:03:57- be on form.- Oh, you're going to be on form, are you?

0:03:57 > 0:04:01- What about you, though?- I'm fine, because I can employ many, many words.

0:04:01 > 0:04:08My lexicon is fully maintained by constant study and readership of PG Wodehouse.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11Which is as good a qualification for this programme as any!

0:04:11 > 0:04:14You've got command of the language.

0:04:14 > 0:04:19So, you can describe things, can't you, and that can be impressive.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22I shouldn't play it down too much, I mean touch is quite important,

0:04:22 > 0:04:27because part of the pleasure of a lot of antiques is the feel of them.

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Whether that enables me to value anything is another question,

0:04:29 > 0:04:32because you can only say what the value is to you.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Indeed!

0:04:33 > 0:04:36- Time to rendezvous.- Look at this, very stately,

0:04:36 > 0:04:40two senior veteran broadcasters approaching.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41Here come the boys, here come the boys.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43What a very smooth motion.

0:04:43 > 0:04:45Well done!

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Are we all right there?

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Very good, very nicely done.

0:04:49 > 0:04:53Here we are, we get out, if we can get this to work.

0:04:53 > 0:04:56James and Phil, meet John and Peter.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Look, we're a team, aren't we?

0:04:58 > 0:05:00In the metaphors of sport, we're a small one.

0:05:00 > 0:05:02We are small, but we're incredibly powerful.

0:05:02 > 0:05:04- We are powerful.- Shall we just go and show them how it's done.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06Yeah, let's.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08I think I oughta drive.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10You can drive, until we get into the country.

0:05:10 > 0:05:11OK, fine.

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Let me show you the way.

0:05:15 > 0:05:18Duly paired up, they are ready to hit the road.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Are you a collector of anything antique?

0:05:25 > 0:05:27No, but I have a little bit of a

0:05:27 > 0:05:30- weakness for, sort of, sailing things.- OK, OK.

0:05:30 > 0:05:32So, you know, telescopes,

0:05:32 > 0:05:37I always imagine you are in that silly world where you are trying to pretend

0:05:37 > 0:05:39that you are a great captain.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41So it's barnacles, it's...

0:05:41 > 0:05:43Knots.

0:05:43 > 0:05:45All that sort of nonsense.

0:05:45 > 0:05:48- Stuffed fish.- Stuffed fish, nautical.

0:05:48 > 0:05:50I have a weakness for all that stuff.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53OK. Well, let's see if we can satisfy that weakness.

0:05:55 > 0:05:56Stuffed fish, eh?

0:05:57 > 0:06:00I wonder what Peter is interested in netting.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04Two things I'd like - I do like tactile things, obviously,

0:06:04 > 0:06:07I love rounded shapes.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09That's why you're with me.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12And the other thing of course I like are things that make a noise.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- You like things that make a noise?- I like music boxes.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17It's a bit specific, though, isn't it?

0:06:17 > 0:06:20We've got to beat this John Sergeant.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23Yes, you do, with £400 each in their pockets,

0:06:23 > 0:06:28our teams are sallying south of the River Thames and touring the B-roads

0:06:28 > 0:06:33and byways of Surrey, before tootling to auction in Windsor.

0:06:33 > 0:06:34John and James are starting the road

0:06:34 > 0:06:36trip on the south bank of the Thames,

0:06:36 > 0:06:39in the Surrey town of East Molesey.

0:06:39 > 0:06:43I always think it's a good sign when the stock spills onto the street.

0:06:45 > 0:06:48At the first shop, Hampton Court Emporium,

0:06:48 > 0:06:54a veritable cornucopia of antique delights await our treasure hunters.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56I do like this.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59- Look at this.- What's that?

0:06:59 > 0:07:00Have you got granddaughters?

0:07:00 > 0:07:05- Not yet, no.- When you have, you want them to want something like this.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08Now, they may not like it,

0:07:08 > 0:07:12they might want something that goes whizz and bubbly bubbly and be

0:07:12 > 0:07:16electronic, but you see, for a grandparent, that's lovely,

0:07:16 > 0:07:19Vintage travelling sewing kit.

0:07:19 > 0:07:22How industrious, how sweet.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24I like the idea of giving that to a granddaughter.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27That would be lovely, wouldn't it. These are unusual, you see,

0:07:29 > 0:07:32you've got thread wound round card there.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35But these were things like thread crosses,

0:07:37 > 0:07:41it was thrift, you could save thread, wind it around there.

0:07:41 > 0:07:43What about the price, though?

0:07:43 > 0:07:45- 25...- Doesn't seem a lot to me.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49No, I think we can probably...

0:07:49 > 0:07:50What is the case like?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52Is that leather or plastic?

0:07:52 > 0:07:54It feels like leather.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59Feels like leather, looks like leather, therefore, is leather.

0:07:59 > 0:08:03We might take that, and, you never know, we might secure it for 15.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05Or ten.

0:08:05 > 0:08:10- Ten even.- Ten would be wonderful, wouldn't it?- Ten.

0:08:10 > 0:08:15I hope! For a first shop, ten would be amazing.

0:08:15 > 0:08:18Back in the MG, Peter and Phil are talking tactics.

0:08:18 > 0:08:20I'm not very good at bargaining,

0:08:20 > 0:08:22I always feel sorry for people who are selling things.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24It's not going to be any use to you, is it.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27No, but what is interesting for me working with you,

0:08:27 > 0:08:29I'm a great believer that your

0:08:29 > 0:08:31fingertips tell you as much as your eyes

0:08:31 > 0:08:35- do.- Does it help you value it, though? That's the thing.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38- If you want to help value it, you got the wrong bloke with you. - Oh, really?

0:08:39 > 0:08:44He jests. Worry not, Peter. Have the others found anything of value?

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Lots of curios everywhere, aren't there?

0:08:47 > 0:08:51That's good, I like those, the Great Exhibition...

0:08:51 > 0:08:54It still fills me with something - I don't mean pride,

0:08:54 > 0:08:58what's it got to do with me, but it's still an amazing structure in Hyde Park,

0:08:58 > 0:09:02you think of it there, the biggest at that time in the world.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06We must not forget, what was built off the back of it,

0:09:06 > 0:09:08the Victoria and Albert Museum,

0:09:08 > 0:09:11National History Museum, the Albert Hall...

0:09:11 > 0:09:13But also it's the idea that

0:09:14 > 0:09:17you know, we are the country of the Industrial Revolution and we're going

0:09:17 > 0:09:21to show it off and we're going to show off all the things we can make now.

0:09:21 > 0:09:24It's not a reprint, John, is it?

0:09:24 > 0:09:27Doesn't look like that to me, I think that this is...

0:09:27 > 0:09:31If that's not a reprint, that's a fabulous item.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33It's only £18, isn't it?

0:09:33 > 0:09:35That's nothing.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37That doesn't seem to be... it's got a nice frame.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39You're handling history and a winner.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41I love it, buy it.

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Very decisive. Let's talk to Valerie. Valerie!

0:09:43 > 0:09:45Don't say it's a good item.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Hello, gentlemen.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49Right, well, we've got a selection.

0:09:49 > 0:09:52You found something.

0:09:52 > 0:09:55It's, I'm afraid, disappointing when it comes to price.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Oh, dear.

0:09:57 > 0:10:02We like it but we're worried about giving you too much money.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04That's an unusual approach, John, isn't it?

0:10:04 > 0:10:09- What I've noticed Valerie, it's been cut out, hasn't it, from its original thing...- Oh, yes, it has.

0:10:09 > 0:10:13..and then just laid on a later thing here.

0:10:13 > 0:10:15Might that affect the price?

0:10:15 > 0:10:18I'll phone the gentlemen up and find out what he will do.

0:10:18 > 0:10:23Just say, you want to help this poor, rather difficult person, who...

0:10:23 > 0:10:25I shall tell him.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28- I'll make a phone call and see what we can do.- Plead.

0:10:33 > 0:10:35What would you be happy paying for that?

0:10:35 > 0:10:40- The trouble is, I'd be very happy to pay the price that's on it.- Shh!

0:10:41 > 0:10:43What, but...

0:10:43 > 0:10:45Is that the problem?

0:10:45 > 0:10:46Have I said something wrong?

0:10:46 > 0:10:50- No, no, it's a game. Remember, it's a game.- Right.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51But is the dealer playing?

0:10:51 > 0:10:54They would love to know what your best price is.

0:10:57 > 0:10:58£12.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59- 12!- 12.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03Did you say John Sergeant?

0:11:04 > 0:11:06She did, it's a deal at £12.

0:11:06 > 0:11:10What about that present for a granddaughter that John liked?

0:11:10 > 0:11:13The sewing case, priced at £25.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15What could you do, Valerie, without your head being chopped off.

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Without my head being chopped off, I could do 20.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Worth every penny. 20.

0:11:20 > 0:11:25- I think so.- Two items for a total of £32, an excellent start.

0:11:25 > 0:11:27Nice flowers.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31John, John, two fine, fine purchases,

0:11:31 > 0:11:34I think we deserve lunch and I can smell it.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36- Lunch?- Over there.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39Bon appetit, chaps!

0:11:39 > 0:11:42Meanwhile, before their shopping commences,

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Phil is taking his journalist on a special sporting assignment,

0:11:45 > 0:11:47which should please Peter.

0:11:47 > 0:11:51If you could have been any sportsman of any era, who would you have been?

0:11:53 > 0:11:55Do you know, I love boxing.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Ali.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59- Ali.- I wouldn't have wanted to be Ali,

0:11:59 > 0:12:02because I can't imagine being somebody like that.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04But he's the greatest sportsman of the 20th century.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06I think he probably is.

0:12:06 > 0:12:08But I'd want to be...

0:12:09 > 0:12:11Who remembers Terry Downes?

0:12:11 > 0:12:15All-action Cockney middleweight fighter.

0:12:15 > 0:12:19- Slugger.- I would have liked to have been Terry Downes.

0:12:19 > 0:12:22Well, that's a good answer, one I wasn't expecting.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26There'll be no fighting today, however, or it just wouldn't be cricket.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28Our chaps are heading off to Chertsey,

0:12:28 > 0:12:30in the borough of Runnymede,

0:12:30 > 0:12:32and one of the country's most historic cricket clubs,

0:12:32 > 0:12:36to meet club historian, Martin Allen.

0:12:36 > 0:12:38So, how old is Chertsey club, then?

0:12:38 > 0:12:40We've been playing here just 100 years

0:12:40 > 0:12:43but the club can trace itself back to 1737,

0:12:43 > 0:12:47so there is the friendliest of rivalries between clubs as to which is the

0:12:47 > 0:12:50oldest but we must be one of the oldest five, six,

0:12:50 > 0:12:53seven cricket clubs in the entire world.

0:12:53 > 0:12:56But there's some lovely stories of teams from Hambledon coming up to

0:12:56 > 0:13:00Chertsey. Of course in those days, horse and cart, take two or three days to get here,

0:13:00 > 0:13:03they'd have their game, they'd then play, and they'd take two or three days to get home.

0:13:03 > 0:13:05Sounds like a great trip to me.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08And they would play for winnings.

0:13:08 > 0:13:1020 guineas, 50 guineas, 100 guineas.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12Why don't you come and look at the square

0:13:12 > 0:13:13and see what the wicket looks like.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16I'd love to stick my finger in the ground and see how it is.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19You can be the moisture meter!

0:13:19 > 0:13:22The club is very proud of one of its early cricketers,

0:13:22 > 0:13:26who came to be known as the first great bowler in the history of the game.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30His name? Edward "Lumpy" Stevens. Don't you love it?

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Nobody quite knows where he got his nickname from.

0:13:32 > 0:13:34It was either to do with some warts on his face,

0:13:34 > 0:13:36which is a little unkind,

0:13:36 > 0:13:37or it was to do with his prodigious

0:13:37 > 0:13:40appetite or to do with the fact that in those

0:13:40 > 0:13:42days there was no preparation of the wicket like there is here.

0:13:42 > 0:13:46The bowler would go out and pick where the wicket was going to be pitched,

0:13:46 > 0:13:48and he would always pick out somewhere with lumps on it.

0:13:48 > 0:13:51Because he wanted to play somewhere where it would be in his favour.

0:13:51 > 0:13:55He was born, nobody knows exactly, that's records in those days,

0:13:55 > 0:14:011735 or so, but was playing for Chertsey between 1756 and 1790,

0:14:01 > 0:14:03that sort of time.

0:14:03 > 0:14:06How did the game look, presumably it was very different then.

0:14:06 > 0:14:10Totally different, almost unrecognisable from today.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12There was no standard size of the bat, length of the bat,

0:14:12 > 0:14:15width of the bat, and one of the big changes was in those days,

0:14:15 > 0:14:20there were two stumps only and one solid bail.

0:14:20 > 0:14:23And "Lumpy" Stevens was part of the revolution that that brought around,

0:14:23 > 0:14:27because in a famous game, he was bowling to John Small,

0:14:27 > 0:14:30who was recognised as the best batsman in the country, in those days.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33And three times in Small's innings,

0:14:33 > 0:14:37Lumpy bowled the ball that went through the gap between the two stumps.

0:14:37 > 0:14:39And of course, he wasn't out.

0:14:39 > 0:14:44- Because it hadn't dislodged the bail?- Lumpy, being a very competitive cricketer,

0:14:44 > 0:14:46was furious at that fact.

0:14:46 > 0:14:49The lawmakers in those days met in the Star and Garter pub in Pall Mall

0:14:49 > 0:14:51and said, we need a third stump.

0:14:51 > 0:14:55And so the third stump was decreed to be part of the wicket,

0:14:55 > 0:14:58and the very first game, where the third stump was played,

0:14:58 > 0:15:01at Laleham Burway, which is a couple of miles down the river from here,

0:15:01 > 0:15:05on the fifth of September, 1776, between Chertsey and Hambledon.

0:15:05 > 0:15:10And we here at Chertsey now have our bar that's called The Third Stump.

0:15:10 > 0:15:14Peter has loved cricket since he was a boy and played at school.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17It was a blind school, so they were all blind teams.

0:15:17 > 0:15:22We did run, so you've got two blind people running in opposite directions

0:15:22 > 0:15:24from each other, and I took

0:15:25 > 0:15:29a single and I thought there was a quick second if I turned fast.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33I turned, ran back, ran straight into the blind wicketkeeper,

0:15:33 > 0:15:37who had come out from behind to pick up the ball, broke me nose!

0:15:37 > 0:15:38- Good Lord!- But I went off,

0:15:38 > 0:15:43got treated and came back and completed my innings, with a broken nose.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Did you win the game?- We did, and I got from five to ten,

0:15:46 > 0:15:47with a broken nose.

0:15:47 > 0:15:50Ouch! Time for the chaps to take a turn.

0:15:50 > 0:15:52Blind cricket is played using an ordinary cricket bat,

0:15:52 > 0:15:55and a ball which emits a bell like sound.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59Shot! I think that's four runs, that, Peter.

0:15:59 > 0:16:00- Ready?- Yeah.

0:16:00 > 0:16:03MUSIC: Soul Limbo by Booker T And The MGS

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- Good shot!- That's a great shot.

0:16:06 > 0:16:10While Peter and Phil are having a great innings in Chertsey,

0:16:10 > 0:16:12John and James are heading east,

0:16:12 > 0:16:16to the Kingston Antiques Centre for more sport of the antiques kind.

0:16:18 > 0:16:20The lemon curd has arrived.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24And look at this spread of goodies.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28Ah, isn't this lovely, so much variety, isn't there?

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Oh, this is nice, look at this. This is journalists' heaven.

0:16:31 > 0:16:32Did you use a typewriter?

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- Of course I did!- Really?

0:16:35 > 0:16:38No, the last one I bought was in 1980,

0:16:38 > 0:16:42because I had to write a script for a film, for a documentary,

0:16:42 > 0:16:46and I had a typewriter like this, and I thought, "Now I have made it."

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- I had to learn...- To touch-type. - ..to touch-type.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Because that meant you were a tough reporter and knew what you were

0:16:51 > 0:16:54doing. It didn't matter if you were typing correctly,

0:16:54 > 0:16:56you were making this lovely noise.

0:16:56 > 0:16:57You're right, it is a lovely noise.

0:16:57 > 0:17:01- And it is. And it meant that you...- And then that gentle ting.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04And "ting". And then you'd do that, as a, Oh, well, we've got to.

0:17:04 > 0:17:06And you wouldn't look at the keys,

0:17:06 > 0:17:08you'd make sure that other people were looking,

0:17:08 > 0:17:11cos they could see that you could in fact touch type.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13£65, do you want to buy it?

0:17:13 > 0:17:16No, this to me... This to me looks modern.

0:17:16 > 0:17:19I mean it's absurd, isn't it?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21Come on, we need to move on, John.

0:17:21 > 0:17:22We want bargains.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26- Bargains.- Yes, plenty here for your delectation.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31Well, this is all women's stuff isn't it?

0:17:31 > 0:17:32I don't follow it.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- It's all a mystery.- Jewellery.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38You can imagine, my wife, "Oh, yes, I like that".

0:17:38 > 0:17:39And you try and show an interest,

0:17:39 > 0:17:40but frankly...

0:17:40 > 0:17:42- "What colour?"- I know.

0:17:42 > 0:17:46Oh, well, that's the jewellery out of the window, then!

0:17:46 > 0:17:49While these gents look for something a bit more masculine,

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Peter and Phil are catching up.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53They got here before us, that's really annoying.

0:17:53 > 0:17:57- How did they beat us?- I dunno, they must have driven quicker, I think.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Peter, this is not a race, you know.

0:18:03 > 0:18:05No, but it is a competition, and Peter's keen.

0:18:06 > 0:18:10- Oh, now, Peter. Do you like music? - I do.- Peter, what

0:18:10 > 0:18:16we've got... He's got a 1930s Columbia record player.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21- This is heavy, Peter.- Is it? Well, they were, weren't they.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24That kind of equipment, everything was heavy in those days.

0:18:24 > 0:18:25Columbia, that's a good make, isn't it?

0:18:25 > 0:18:27- That is a good name. - Can you feel it?

0:18:27 > 0:18:29This is so perfectly...

0:18:29 > 0:18:32The old shellac record.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35- It's a bit dusty. - Yeah, it's a lot dusty.

0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Has it got a needle?- Let's see if we can make it spin.

0:18:42 > 0:18:45Oh, Peter, are you in the mood?

0:18:45 > 0:18:48- Is this Mantovani?- I don't know who it is.

0:18:48 > 0:18:54I think we're going at about 30-and-a-half, not 33, here, Peter!

0:18:54 > 0:18:57- Will I wind it up a bit more. - Actually, can I wind it?

0:18:57 > 0:18:59Let me wind it, I love these things.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01- Absolutely love them.- Do you?

0:19:02 > 0:19:06Bing Crosby.

0:19:06 > 0:19:07- Got to be.- More like "Bung" Crosby.

0:19:09 > 0:19:14At 150 "founds", perhaps not the sound of a winner.

0:19:14 > 0:19:19Moving on... Meanwhile, what manly things are attracting John and James?

0:19:19 > 0:19:23Now, A lot of this may be junk but some of it is nice, isn't it?

0:19:23 > 0:19:28- It is nice.- It's just nice, attractive.- Ceramics, lots of glass and China.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30I like that.

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Shall I? I'll pass it out, John.

0:19:32 > 0:19:35- Look at that.- Never trust a handle.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37What do you mean, never trust a handle?

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Oh, you mean, the handle might fall off?

0:19:39 > 0:19:41I think, first of all, you always pick it up by its body.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43It's got a lovely body, nice shape, isn't it?

0:19:43 > 0:19:46It's heavy. What I like about it.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48It's got a touch of me about that, that body.

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Yes. But also it's very much more a touch of,

0:19:51 > 0:19:54you're in the Mediterranean,

0:19:54 > 0:19:55you're by the beach.

0:19:55 > 0:19:56You see this.

0:19:56 > 0:20:00You work out that "aqua" means water, so it makes you feel better -

0:20:00 > 0:20:02and you think, "Oh, I'd like to take that home."

0:20:02 > 0:20:04I just think it's lovely.

0:20:04 > 0:20:09It's got holiday, it's got Mediterranean, it's got sunshine,

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- and I want it.- You're dead right about the Mediterranean because this

0:20:12 > 0:20:14tin-glazed earthen ware...

0:20:14 > 0:20:17This tin... It's a tin oxide that you get this white from -

0:20:17 > 0:20:19was all over the Mediterranean.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22In Spain it was called Hispano-Moresque,

0:20:22 > 0:20:25and in Italy it was called maiolica.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27We called it in Britain majolica.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29It's not terribly old, John.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30It's definitely this century.

0:20:30 > 0:20:32And £98.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Wow!- £98 of happiness.

0:20:35 > 0:20:36£98 of happiness.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40Possibly, £40 for happiness, John.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42- Even happier happiness. - Even happier happiness.

0:20:42 > 0:20:45- All right. Shall we try?- If we got it at 40,

0:20:45 > 0:20:47you could afford to fill that with wine.

0:20:47 > 0:20:48Shall we go and see the man?

0:20:48 > 0:20:52Let's do it. This is time for awkward silences.

0:20:52 > 0:20:53Oh, yes. Time to go. Hello.

0:20:55 > 0:20:56- Hello.- It's got a nice echo, hasn't it?

0:20:56 > 0:21:00- It's wonderful.- Sounds like the Mediterranean.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Ah! Viva, l'Italia.

0:21:03 > 0:21:04Who do we have here?

0:21:04 > 0:21:06The opposition. Right.

0:21:06 > 0:21:08- John...- You'll want to know what we've been up to.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10- Of course we do.- We're not going to tell you.

0:21:12 > 0:21:13That's... You crept upon us.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17We have. I certainly wouldn't bother with that.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20Well, we are not going to bother with that actually.

0:21:20 > 0:21:21What have you bought then, James?

0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Many treasures, haven't we? - Yes. Amazing!

0:21:25 > 0:21:30- And how have you done?- I'm actually not prepared to divulge.

0:21:30 > 0:21:31Fair enough.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33On to David at the counter.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36- David...- £98 - that seems a lot.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38- Yeah.- That seems a lot of money for a water...

0:21:38 > 0:21:39An old water jug.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42The best price I can give you is 88.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44I can take 10% off.

0:21:44 > 0:21:46In bingo terms, two fat ladies.

0:21:46 > 0:21:47Two fat ladies?

0:21:47 > 0:21:51- 88.- 88. But what about two thin ladies?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54Can't you just come a bit more towards us?

0:21:54 > 0:21:55One fat, one round.

0:21:55 > 0:21:5680.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00For you, John, I'll do 80.

0:22:00 > 0:22:04I like that. I'd like it more if it was 40.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Now, look, we've got to settle.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08OK. Thanks very much.

0:22:08 > 0:22:11- Thank you.- Let me give you £80.

0:22:11 > 0:22:12Thank you very much, John.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14OK, well, thank you.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Thank you, David.- Thank you, James. - Thank you.- It's marvellous.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20There'll be one very cheery antiques dealer...

0:22:21 > 0:22:22I hope so.

0:22:22 > 0:22:24..at this emporium tonight, won't there?

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Indeed. Now, any advance on a stuck record?

0:22:29 > 0:22:31There's dealer David again.

0:22:31 > 0:22:33- It's a Pye.- Turntable.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36It's the black box hi-fi. 1950s.

0:22:36 > 0:22:38It is exactly like one I used to have.

0:22:38 > 0:22:42It's got real, sentimental value for me.

0:22:42 > 0:22:47It's got that arm with the little clip on that clips across.

0:22:47 > 0:22:49I would...

0:22:49 > 0:22:53If Phil will let me, I may even overrule Phil, actually.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57The ticket price is £125.

0:22:57 > 0:22:59- I'll do it for 50.- Would you do it for 50?

0:22:59 > 0:23:01Just because it's you, I'll do it for 50.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04Right, done. I don't care what Phil says.

0:23:04 > 0:23:06- Did you hear that, Phil? - PHIL COUGHS

0:23:06 > 0:23:09Oh, dear.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11Your services were not required, Phil.

0:23:11 > 0:23:15But that concludes the day's shopping.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19I've think you've probably done better off without me than you have with me.

0:23:20 > 0:23:24Time for our teams to retire and recharge their batteries for tomorrow.

0:23:24 > 0:23:25Nighty-night.

0:23:31 > 0:23:37It's a new day and our quartet of curio-enthusiasts are raring to go

0:23:37 > 0:23:39in search of auction gold.

0:23:39 > 0:23:44Just how are our esteemed broadcasters rising to the challenge?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47All journalists have a ruthless side, don't they?

0:23:47 > 0:23:50Oh, yes. One of the things we did buy, I did drive them down.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53And I said, "Right, I'm going to do that whether Phil likes it or not."

0:23:53 > 0:23:57Oh, right. Well, I find with James that I think he's trying to stiffen me

0:23:57 > 0:23:59a bit. So, I...

0:23:59 > 0:24:03Of course I then tend to go to the other extreme and want him to dig in.

0:24:03 > 0:24:07I can't believe that you would be... like that, John.

0:24:07 > 0:24:11And how are our venerable experts finding their proteges?

0:24:11 > 0:24:14What was John like with the old bargaining?

0:24:14 > 0:24:16He's quite adept.

0:24:16 > 0:24:17He can read people's minds.

0:24:17 > 0:24:20I think everybody's a bit of an open book to him.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Peter... He's a smiling assassin.

0:24:23 > 0:24:27I felt kind of sorry for the dealer in a way because he didn't know that

0:24:27 > 0:24:29Peter had whipped his trousers down before he bought the thing.

0:24:29 > 0:24:32Peter... He is.

0:24:32 > 0:24:36He's got that lovely, boyish, charming smile.

0:24:36 > 0:24:39- Yeah.- Before you know where it is... he was good, really good.

0:24:39 > 0:24:43- He's good.- You see, I've got a hunch that you've bought more than I have.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45I don't know. You were rather smug, I thought.

0:24:45 > 0:24:49I want to give the impression that I know what I'm doing.

0:24:49 > 0:24:54Well, you succeeded. I did think you knew what you were doing.

0:24:54 > 0:24:58So far, John and James have spent £112 on an engraving of

0:24:58 > 0:25:02the Great Exhibition of 1851, a leather-cased sewing kit,

0:25:02 > 0:25:08and an Italian maiolica water jug, leaving them £288 to spend.

0:25:08 > 0:25:10Oh!

0:25:10 > 0:25:14Well... Did you say John Sergeant?

0:25:14 > 0:25:19While Peter and Phil spent £50 on the 1950s Pye record player,

0:25:19 > 0:25:24which means they still have £350 in their piggy bank.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Done! I don't care what Phil says.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30Did you hear that, Phil?

0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Oh, he's here.- Time to partner up.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Perfect. Very good.

0:25:36 > 0:25:39Hello. Now, don't get too comfortable, John.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43- Lovely to see you.- Why?- I think we've got to rush off and get antique-y.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Action.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Seats swapped, Tally Ho.

0:25:51 > 0:25:54We must eschew the smaller item today.

0:25:54 > 0:25:58Yeah, we've done the smaller items, little bits and pieces.

0:25:58 > 0:25:59I want something big and impressive now.

0:25:59 > 0:26:01- Chunky.- Chunky.

0:26:01 > 0:26:02Something I can be proud of.

0:26:02 > 0:26:04Yeah.

0:26:04 > 0:26:08And will East Molesey be the place to find that treasure?

0:26:08 > 0:26:10Well, it's raining cats and dogs, so,

0:26:10 > 0:26:14John and James will be glad to get indoors at Bridge Road Antiques,

0:26:14 > 0:26:19- to seek their fortune.- Interesting window, John.

0:26:19 > 0:26:22So, we've got a lot of sort of Chinese figures here that have been

0:26:22 > 0:26:25converted into lamp bases.

0:26:25 > 0:26:28- Does it matter that I wouldn't want to live with any of these?- It

0:26:28 > 0:26:30doesn't matter, no.

0:26:30 > 0:26:34Because, don't worry, there are two billion Chinamen who do.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38So, what might our Englishmen fancy this morning?

0:26:39 > 0:26:44So, you put something in there, press it down, turn the handle...

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Out comes the old mince.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48I wonder how much that is.

0:26:48 > 0:26:50£58.

0:26:50 > 0:26:53Mm. That's an expensive Bolognese.

0:26:53 > 0:26:56Sue, we noticed the things in the window there.

0:26:56 > 0:27:02- Yep.- We quite like the sort of Chinese figure with the elephant.

0:27:02 > 0:27:03How long have you had these in the shop for?

0:27:03 > 0:27:05Not very long, actually.

0:27:06 > 0:27:09Probably about two weeks.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12- Two weeks. Two, three weeks.- Right.

0:27:12 > 0:27:13You don't like it, do you?

0:27:13 > 0:27:17Well... It just looks, to me, sinister,

0:27:17 > 0:27:20and not the kind of thing you'd want to live with.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Do you want to take the shade off?

0:27:22 > 0:27:25I might just... Do you mind if I took that shade off?

0:27:25 > 0:27:26No, I don't mind if you can.

0:27:26 > 0:27:28- Yeah.- Well, it looks a bit better.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30With that off, it might look even better.

0:27:30 > 0:27:32All this is elephant.

0:27:32 > 0:27:34There's some sort of child.

0:27:34 > 0:27:39This Devil, because he does look a devil to me, he looks pretty grim.

0:27:39 > 0:27:44This is Chinese immortal, Li Tieguai,

0:27:44 > 0:27:46pictured as a bad-tempered beggar.

0:27:46 > 0:27:48Probably imported at the turn of the 20th century,

0:27:48 > 0:27:52these carvings are now prized amongst Chinese antiques collectors and

0:27:52 > 0:27:54often make their way home. That's the theory anyway.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56How much did you say again it was?

0:27:56 > 0:27:57- £60.- £60!

0:27:58 > 0:28:00I think 50 would be a fair price.

0:28:00 > 0:28:02Really?

0:28:02 > 0:28:05- What do you think, Sue?- It's a price.

0:28:05 > 0:28:07What do you mean it's "A price"?!

0:28:07 > 0:28:08- Is it fair?- OK. It'll be fine.

0:28:08 > 0:28:12- All right. OK.- You can blame me if it doesn't make any money.

0:28:12 > 0:28:15Oh, that's good. I like the idea of blaming you.

0:28:15 > 0:28:19- Blame me.- You can carry it and I don't ever have to ever see it again.- No.

0:28:19 > 0:28:21So... Good...

0:28:21 > 0:28:22..bad or ugly? Time will tell.

0:28:23 > 0:28:27Now, I wonder if there's something they can both agree on.

0:28:27 > 0:28:28Right. I like that.

0:28:29 > 0:28:33- Oh!- That's nice. That's a wherry.

0:28:33 > 0:28:35- Right.- That, um...

0:28:35 > 0:28:38It's like... It's a sailing barge.

0:28:38 > 0:28:39- OK.- And it'll be...

0:28:39 > 0:28:41I should imagine that would be Norfolk.

0:28:41 > 0:28:44- I'll bring it down, John.- Yeah.

0:28:47 > 0:28:49Oh, it's got some weight.

0:28:49 > 0:28:51Is that good?

0:28:51 > 0:28:54I'm not sure it counts with a painting.

0:28:54 > 0:28:55It's a lot of paint on it.

0:28:55 > 0:28:58- It's nice.- This is the wherry.

0:28:58 > 0:29:01- OK.- It also reminds you of happy times.

0:29:01 > 0:29:04- Yeah.- I think that's rather jolly.

0:29:04 > 0:29:06A lot of people would like that.

0:29:06 > 0:29:08You think of all those people who go on holiday in Norfolk.

0:29:08 > 0:29:10Life on the Broads.

0:29:10 > 0:29:14- Life on the Broads.- There doesn't seem to be a ticket on it, must be free.

0:29:14 > 0:29:15What do you think for price, though?

0:29:15 > 0:29:17Can we talk?

0:29:17 > 0:29:18What's the price?

0:29:18 > 0:29:20- Well...- For us we're talking about.

0:29:20 > 0:29:22- For you...- We're not just anyone, we're talking about us.

0:29:22 > 0:29:23John's price.

0:29:23 > 0:29:27- What do you think about us? And how we come across.- £45.

0:29:27 > 0:29:2845... Well, look.

0:29:28 > 0:29:30What if we said £40?

0:29:30 > 0:29:32- What do you think?- Go on, then.

0:29:32 > 0:29:3540. Let's shake the lady's hand.

0:29:35 > 0:29:39- OK.- Because we're all in to happiness and everything.

0:29:39 > 0:29:41Really kind. I think we've bought two very nice items.

0:29:41 > 0:29:44- Excellent.- Our work is done here.

0:29:44 > 0:29:46The picture of success.

0:29:46 > 0:29:47Well done, chaps.

0:29:50 > 0:29:52With one purchase under their belt so far,

0:29:52 > 0:29:54how are Peter and Phil feeling about the day ahead?

0:29:54 > 0:29:59You've got one item bought and you spent 50 quid, so we've got £350 left.

0:29:59 > 0:30:00- Yeah.- Any plans?

0:30:00 > 0:30:03I have to warn you that money rather burns a hole in my pocket.

0:30:03 > 0:30:07- Oh, lord. Really?- It may not be the right thing to tell you.

0:30:07 > 0:30:12- Are you extravagant?- Well, it's just that if I want something,

0:30:12 > 0:30:15then I tend to go for it.

0:30:15 > 0:30:17On then to their second shop of the trip.

0:30:17 > 0:30:21Ready to get digging and root out the seeds of auction success.

0:30:26 > 0:30:29Any hardy perennials looking promising?

0:30:29 > 0:30:32Peter, I'm not sure if I've succeeded or failed, my friend.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35- Mm hm.- But I'm going to take this stopper out.

0:30:35 > 0:30:37Stopper. That's a bit of a clue.

0:30:37 > 0:30:39And I'm going to hand you that.

0:30:39 > 0:30:42Right. I love the feel of that.

0:30:42 > 0:30:44Have a good feel of that stopper as well, my friend.

0:30:44 > 0:30:46I think that's got a bit of shape and form as well.

0:30:46 > 0:30:48Oh, right.

0:30:48 > 0:30:55I like these. Um, partly because they contain one of my favourite liquids.

0:30:55 > 0:30:56- Which is?- That's a decanter.

0:30:56 > 0:30:58Whisky is the...

0:30:58 > 0:30:59The thing is, I

0:30:59 > 0:31:02haven't got one of these. I normally, er...

0:31:02 > 0:31:04Just pour it out of the bottle.

0:31:04 > 0:31:07It's curvy. It's smooth.

0:31:07 > 0:31:10It's got a nice weight to it.

0:31:10 > 0:31:14- Yeah.- And a sort of almost a swan neck, perhaps not quite as thin as that.

0:31:14 > 0:31:16That's priced at £36, Peter.

0:31:16 > 0:31:20- Mm.- I'd like to try and buy it for 20 quid, if we could.

0:31:20 > 0:31:23- I know you would.- That looks like a probable purchase.

0:31:23 > 0:31:26What else might pique Peter's interest?

0:31:26 > 0:31:29I'll tell you what I would be interested in. Is there any toys?

0:31:29 > 0:31:31Something a bit different,

0:31:31 > 0:31:33maybe it makes a noise.

0:31:33 > 0:31:35- That's not essential.- If you want something to make a noise,

0:31:35 > 0:31:38you should have gotten James Braxton.

0:31:38 > 0:31:39Right. Well, if you can find me some...

0:31:39 > 0:31:42- Right, I'll go and have a look, Peter.- Mr Serrell is on the case.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45I've got three little things here I'd like you to have a look at.

0:31:45 > 0:31:47- OK.- The first one...

0:31:47 > 0:31:51- Mm-hmm.- It's in your hands now and you've got a key there, Peter.

0:31:51 > 0:31:53- Goodness me.- That you can turn.

0:31:53 > 0:31:57- What's that?- There are two circles - two circles in a figure of eight.

0:31:57 > 0:32:00- Yeah.- And each circle's got a little train on it.

0:32:00 > 0:32:01You can feel the little train there?

0:32:01 > 0:32:03- Yeah.- There's two tunnels.

0:32:04 > 0:32:06What, through there? Yeah.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09And the little trains just go round and round and round in a circle.

0:32:09 > 0:32:12So, if I start... If you take your hands off now, and I press the

0:32:13 > 0:32:15- start button.- It's rather cute.

0:32:15 > 0:32:18It's quite sweet. That is priced at 25 quid.

0:32:18 > 0:32:20You might be bored with it after about half an hour.

0:32:20 > 0:32:22- Less than that.- Less than that.

0:32:22 > 0:32:25Yeah. It looks to me like it's ten quid's worth.

0:32:25 > 0:32:26- Yeah.- OK, but you never know.

0:32:26 > 0:32:28Let's put that down.

0:32:28 > 0:32:29- Yeah.- Right, Peter, we've got a

0:32:31 > 0:32:32little fluffy dog.

0:32:32 > 0:32:34See if you can feel the fluffy dog.

0:32:34 > 0:32:35Aww.

0:32:35 > 0:32:36- Do you like him?- He's cute.

0:32:36 > 0:32:39That, Peter, is priced at £42.

0:32:39 > 0:32:41- Is it?- Yeah.- No!

0:32:41 > 0:32:43That's clearly missed the mark, hasn't it?

0:32:43 > 0:32:46- Let's put that one down.- I like his collar.- Do you?

0:32:46 > 0:32:48I've got another thing here for you, which I'm going to wind up.

0:32:48 > 0:32:51OK. I mean, I like that, but...

0:32:51 > 0:32:53Right. Right.

0:32:56 > 0:32:58- What's that?- That's a donkey's tail.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00They don't wag their tails.

0:33:00 > 0:33:02This one does.

0:33:02 > 0:33:04- You hold him.- Let me take the dog.

0:33:04 > 0:33:06You got a donkey that wags...

0:33:06 > 0:33:11Nods its head and wags his tail.

0:33:11 > 0:33:14So, out of the three toys, which is your favourite?

0:33:14 > 0:33:17- The donkey. How much are they asking?- If I can get it off you.

0:33:17 > 0:33:19- Do you know?- Well, they're asking £45.

0:33:19 > 0:33:21- Are they?- I love it.

0:33:21 > 0:33:24He's got it straight... That sharp intake.

0:33:25 > 0:33:26Sharp intake of breath.

0:33:26 > 0:33:27I love the way he wags his tail.

0:33:27 > 0:33:29But the lady's here who owns that.

0:33:29 > 0:33:31- So we might be able to get a deal. - Oh, is she?

0:33:31 > 0:33:34Yeah. Hang on, let me get my white stick out.

0:33:34 > 0:33:35Get that smile going as well, Peter.

0:33:35 > 0:33:38- Get that winning smile going, all right?- Right, which way do we go?

0:33:38 > 0:33:41- That way?- OK, let me just take you by the hand, my friend. OK.- OK.

0:33:41 > 0:33:42Time for a charm offensive.

0:33:42 > 0:33:45- Valerie, this is Peter.- Hi, Valerie. - Hello, nice to meet you.

0:33:45 > 0:33:49Nice to meet you too. There are two things that I am interested in.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51As for the decanter,

0:33:53 > 0:33:54I'd like to offer 25.

0:33:54 > 0:33:5925. I'll make a little telephone call and find out...

0:33:59 > 0:34:01Would it help if Peter spoke to her?

0:34:01 > 0:34:02Probably. We'll have a go.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05- You could schmoozle, couldn't you? - I can try. OK.

0:34:05 > 0:34:06There's the telephone.

0:34:06 > 0:34:08Yeah. OK.

0:34:08 > 0:34:09Hello, Sally.

0:34:10 > 0:34:12I'm Peter White.

0:34:12 > 0:34:15At 36 it is a bit above my price.

0:34:20 > 0:34:22You'd go to, would you go to 25?

0:34:24 > 0:34:26You've got a deal.

0:34:26 > 0:34:2825 I can do.

0:34:28 > 0:34:32That's about the top of my range but I'll do 25.

0:34:32 > 0:34:35All right, Sally. Thank you very much indeed.

0:34:35 > 0:34:36Nice to talk to you too.

0:34:36 > 0:34:38Thank you. Bye.

0:34:39 > 0:34:42Do you want a proper job doing this all the time?

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Steady, Phil, or he'll have yours.

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Hee-haww.

0:34:46 > 0:34:48I do like the donkey, I must admit.

0:34:48 > 0:34:52He's very cute. But it's over 40.

0:34:52 > 0:34:55I can't do that. Can I offer you 20 for it?

0:34:55 > 0:34:5820's a bit too little really.

0:34:58 > 0:35:02I think I'd probably prefer around 30.

0:35:03 > 0:35:0730? I'll go up to 22.50.

0:35:07 > 0:35:09Oh, well, let's meet in the middle. 25.

0:35:09 > 0:35:1125...

0:35:13 > 0:35:15Breaks my heart but...

0:35:15 > 0:35:18I'll include the key for free.

0:35:18 > 0:35:19You're a silver-tongued woman.

0:35:20 > 0:35:22OK, 25?

0:35:22 > 0:35:23- Yes.- There you go.

0:35:23 > 0:35:25That's the way to do it.

0:35:25 > 0:35:28- £10 change.- Total spent, £50.

0:35:28 > 0:35:30Now, trot off.

0:35:33 > 0:35:37Well, time and tide wait for no man and John and James are heading for

0:35:37 > 0:35:40Surbiton and a trip on the River Thames

0:35:40 > 0:35:43that should particularly appeal to John.

0:35:43 > 0:35:46As Oscar Wilde said in The Importance of Being Ernest,

0:35:46 > 0:35:48he said every man should have a hobby.

0:35:48 > 0:35:49What's yours, John?

0:35:49 > 0:35:56No, I do. I suppose my favourite hobby is sailing but that does not imply

0:35:56 > 0:35:57that I'm any good at it.

0:35:57 > 0:35:59If things go wrong,

0:36:00 > 0:36:02and it's real, you can,

0:36:02 > 0:36:04you could kill yourself quite easily with a sailboat.

0:36:04 > 0:36:06You can drown, yes.

0:36:06 > 0:36:10Hopefully, it will all be plain sailing today in Surbiton at the oldest

0:36:10 > 0:36:15river sailing club in the country, established in 1870 by rich

0:36:15 > 0:36:18gentlemen who wanted to race on the Thames for pleasure.

0:36:18 > 0:36:22They were able to achieve technologies which ultimately resulted in the

0:36:22 > 0:36:25A Rater, the fastest yacht on the river.

0:36:25 > 0:36:28And today John and James will be setting sail in one.

0:36:28 > 0:36:33First, though, time to muster with club Commodore, Miles Palmer, for a crew

0:36:33 > 0:36:35briefing and maybe a pint.

0:36:37 > 0:36:41So, tell me what exactly is an A Rater.

0:36:41 > 0:36:46OK, an A Rater is a dinghy with three people crewing it -

0:36:46 > 0:36:50a helm, a mid-hand and a jib-hand.

0:36:50 > 0:36:54It's about 26 foot long with a 45-foot mast.

0:36:54 > 0:36:56- A great big mast.- Very tall,

0:36:56 > 0:37:00and it's designed to catch the wind above the trees really, high up,

0:37:00 > 0:37:06because generally on a river the wind is pretty poor low down.

0:37:06 > 0:37:10So it's quite unique in terms of its dimensions.

0:37:10 > 0:37:12It's designed to be very fast.

0:37:12 > 0:37:17- That's the point.- The A Raters were developed by the members of the club,

0:37:17 > 0:37:21and now the A Rater is integral to the club's

0:37:23 > 0:37:24survival, really.

0:37:24 > 0:37:29We sell other boats but the pinnacle of the sailing at this club

0:37:29 > 0:37:37- is Thames A Raters.- Well, the sail's being hoisted on this 1930s A Rater called Vagabond,

0:37:37 > 0:37:40and our chaps are ready to try her out.

0:37:43 > 0:37:46Now, when we're leaning back like this, Miles,

0:37:46 > 0:37:50this is part of the history of this boat, isn't it?

0:37:50 > 0:37:52It is. We're going actually to have to take a tack first.

0:37:52 > 0:37:54And then you're going to tell me?

0:37:54 > 0:37:56- And then I'll tell you. Yes, absolutely.- Right, OK.

0:37:56 > 0:37:58All right.

0:38:02 > 0:38:04Yeah, so this boat in the '30s was

0:38:04 > 0:38:06owned by a chap called Beecher Moore.

0:38:06 > 0:38:08One, he put a bigger mast on it.

0:38:08 > 0:38:11- Yeah.- And then because it's narrow it couldn't hold the weight of the

0:38:11 > 0:38:15mast. So, he thought, how can I get more righting power

0:38:16 > 0:38:17- out of this boat?- Yeah.

0:38:17 > 0:38:21So, how can I make it stay upright more?

0:38:21 > 0:38:25So he developed in the '30s this thing called the bell rope.

0:38:25 > 0:38:28- Yeah.- Which was attached around the spreader points,

0:38:29 > 0:38:30- the hands.- Yeah.

0:38:30 > 0:38:33And it was literally a rope with a monkey's ball on the end of it.

0:38:35 > 0:38:40And the crew, bless them, had to jump out on the side of the boat.

0:38:40 > 0:38:43So, they're grabbing this rope.

0:38:43 > 0:38:45- Yes.- From up here.

0:38:45 > 0:38:48And that then develops into a trapeze that you always see on these racing

0:38:48 > 0:38:52yachts with people harnessed, strapped in.

0:38:52 > 0:38:53- Yeah.- And it started on this boat?

0:38:53 > 0:38:57It started on this boat in 1934.

0:38:57 > 0:38:58This particular boat?

0:38:58 > 0:39:00- This particular boat.- Well, James, did you hear that?

0:39:00 > 0:39:02We're sitting on history.

0:39:02 > 0:39:04- Well, we are.- This is us.

0:39:04 > 0:39:05Gosh, we're going now.

0:39:05 > 0:39:08All right, hold on, James.

0:39:08 > 0:39:10Don't falter.

0:39:10 > 0:39:12All that hard work.

0:39:12 > 0:39:13I know.

0:39:15 > 0:39:17OK, do you want to come back here, John?

0:39:17 > 0:39:19I'm just going to get down, I'm

0:39:19 > 0:39:21getting as low as I can at the moment.

0:39:21 > 0:39:22I'm a bit by the lee.

0:39:22 > 0:39:25OK. Well, look, isn't this amazing?

0:39:25 > 0:39:28Me helming, fantastic boat.

0:39:28 > 0:39:30Now, I don't want to add any complications.

0:39:30 > 0:39:33- No, no.- But we have got a canoeist coming up, John.

0:39:33 > 0:39:36- I know.- Have you clocked him?

0:39:36 > 0:39:39I think it would be a mistake to ram the canoe, wouldn't it?

0:39:39 > 0:39:42- I think it would be great fun, wouldn't it?- No, we mustn't ram the canoe.

0:39:42 > 0:39:46While the chaps speed back to the club, Surbiton is also the final port of

0:39:46 > 0:39:49call for landlubbers Peter and Phil.

0:39:49 > 0:39:53With £300 still in their piggy they're making their way to an appointment

0:39:53 > 0:39:57at Joseph Berry Interiors to meet the eponymous Joe.

0:39:57 > 0:39:58- Hello.- Hello.- Come in.- Step there.

0:39:58 > 0:40:01Come in. Hello, there.

0:40:01 > 0:40:05This contemporary and quirky antiques emporium feels rather like

0:40:05 > 0:40:06an art gallery than a shop.

0:40:09 > 0:40:13Which exhibits will attract the attention of our cultured gentleman who

0:40:13 > 0:40:14still have £300 to spend.

0:40:16 > 0:40:17Look at that.

0:40:18 > 0:40:22It looks like that's Victorian terracotta.

0:40:24 > 0:40:27- Here we are, Peter.- Oh, right.

0:40:27 > 0:40:28If you want to get ahead...

0:40:28 > 0:40:29- Hello, Phil.- ..Get a head.

0:40:29 > 0:40:30Oh, is that a clue?

0:40:30 > 0:40:32Yeah. There you are, my friend.

0:40:32 > 0:40:33I think it's a bust, isn't it?

0:40:33 > 0:40:35It's a human,

0:40:35 > 0:40:37a human head, isn't it?

0:40:37 > 0:40:39Yeah, I've just found its nostrils.

0:40:40 > 0:40:41Nice!

0:40:41 > 0:40:43Quite a good pick, that.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Phil's fetching the unusual plinth

0:40:45 > 0:40:48made from a weathered wooden dockyard post.

0:40:48 > 0:40:50I'm going to lift it up now.

0:40:50 > 0:40:53- Are you all right doing that?- Oh, yeah.- Don't drop it on my foot, will you?

0:40:53 > 0:40:55Don't you worry. You just stay where you are, chap.

0:40:58 > 0:41:01Not quite sure how we're going to describe that in the auction but,

0:41:01 > 0:41:05you know what, I quite like that and I think it's going to look...

0:41:05 > 0:41:06Oh. Oh, that's more like it.

0:41:06 > 0:41:09That could go in my front hall.

0:41:09 > 0:41:10It might have to if you can't sell it.

0:41:10 > 0:41:13It'd be better then a letter rack, wouldn't it?

0:41:13 > 0:41:15This is kind of

0:41:15 > 0:41:18the shabby side of shabby chic really.

0:41:18 > 0:41:20What's your best best?

0:41:20 > 0:41:23So, what have I got? 250, roundabout on the two.

0:41:26 > 0:41:28What about 170?

0:41:29 > 0:41:32Peter, have you got one of those pills to pop under

0:41:32 > 0:41:35my top lip... I think I really would like to see us have a maximum of

0:41:35 > 0:41:38about 130 quid because I think any more than that we've got to pay

0:41:38 > 0:41:41commission, and it might just turn round and bite us in the behind.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43I think the stand's unusual.

0:41:43 > 0:41:46I think I've had it a while.

0:41:46 > 0:41:47I'm happy to do a deal.

0:41:49 > 0:41:50But I've got to make some money too.

0:41:50 > 0:41:52- Right.- Do you want me to get a handkerchief out?

0:41:56 > 0:41:59Cheeky. So, the bust is a possibility.

0:41:59 > 0:42:02- What else might appeal?- Right, Peter.

0:42:02 > 0:42:05- Yeah.- You've got two items here.

0:42:05 > 0:42:08On the right we've got four drawers, which are

0:42:10 > 0:42:12in all probability out of a chemist's.

0:42:12 > 0:42:15But they're out of a much, much bigger set of drawers.

0:42:16 > 0:42:19That's priced at - £195 is the ticket.

0:42:19 > 0:42:21How much could they be?

0:42:21 > 0:42:23I could do 120,

0:42:24 > 0:42:27possibly a little bit more if you're buying something else.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29Right, go along about a foot, Peter, the other way.

0:42:29 > 0:42:31- That way?- Yeah.- Oh!

0:42:32 > 0:42:34Oh, yeah. See, this is what I like.

0:42:34 > 0:42:38I'm one of those, I like to fiddle with things, you know?

0:42:38 > 0:42:41I love these. I'll tell you what this reminds me of -

0:42:41 > 0:42:44it reminds me of those paper windmills you used to get in

0:42:44 > 0:42:46funfairs on the pier.

0:42:46 > 0:42:50I used to go there to Weston-Super-Mare when we were at school and I

0:42:50 > 0:42:51loved those things.

0:42:51 > 0:42:52Ah, nostalgia.

0:42:52 > 0:42:57This grown-up toy scratch built from specimen timbers would not look out

0:42:57 > 0:43:01of place on a gentleman's roll-top desk or wooden-panelled library.

0:43:01 > 0:43:04If they were giving them away, which would you take home?

0:43:04 > 0:43:06Definitely the windmill.

0:43:06 > 0:43:07- Yeah.- I don't know why.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09I can't really explain that.

0:43:09 > 0:43:13Except that every day I passed it I'd spin it round.

0:43:15 > 0:43:20I like the drawers, the set of drawers, but it would have to be the bust.

0:43:20 > 0:43:23We're breezing towards a purchase here.

0:43:23 > 0:43:26The windmill is priced at £110.

0:43:26 > 0:43:27Can the windmill be 50 quid?

0:43:29 > 0:43:33What are we at? We're at 130 on the other set.

0:43:33 > 0:43:36Yeah. It would be 180, wouldn't it, for two?

0:43:36 > 0:43:40I'll do 70. I like 200, it just sounds a bit more tactile.

0:43:40 > 0:43:43and you like tactile, so that's all good.

0:43:43 > 0:43:46I'm going to settle for that, because that's the figure I had in mind.

0:43:46 > 0:43:48I know... Phil will be cross with me...

0:43:48 > 0:43:51- I'm cross with you. - You wouldn't know it.

0:43:51 > 0:43:54- What are you doing?- No... - How much?

0:43:54 > 0:43:56- Come on, while he's not looking. - In the middle.

0:43:56 > 0:43:57- Yeah.- 200?- 200.

0:43:57 > 0:44:01- Done.- Have you not learned anything in the last two days?

0:44:01 > 0:44:04He's learned to negotiate almost a third off.

0:44:04 > 0:44:06Well done, Peter. I'm blown away.

0:44:08 > 0:44:10Peter has spent a total of £300,

0:44:10 > 0:44:14and I do declare that five purchases a piece have now been made.

0:44:14 > 0:44:18It's time now to gather the chaps together and reveal the lots they'll be

0:44:18 > 0:44:21taking to auction, and discover who is jealous of what.

0:44:21 > 0:44:24Now, don't fall in.

0:44:24 > 0:44:29- How did you get on Peter?- I think we came with a late, devastating burst.

0:44:29 > 0:44:34- Really?- Yes.- We were just all the time consistently good.

0:44:34 > 0:44:36We were, we were, we were.

0:44:36 > 0:44:37- Right.- Very even.

0:44:37 > 0:44:40You'd better just show us how good you were, then.

0:44:40 > 0:44:42- All right.- Very even keel, the whole thing.

0:44:42 > 0:44:45- This is a very special moment.- One, two, three...

0:44:45 > 0:44:46Look at that.

0:44:46 > 0:44:48- I can't see a thing.- I know.

0:44:48 > 0:44:49I can tell you.

0:44:49 > 0:44:52Let me tell you - you're the lucky one, Peter.

0:44:53 > 0:44:55- It's very good.- Peter, they bought a log.

0:44:55 > 0:45:00- Did they?- Yeah.- Peter, we've got this immortal riding on an elephant,

0:45:00 > 0:45:01which is rather nice.

0:45:01 > 0:45:04Then we've got bats and various other things.

0:45:04 > 0:45:05- Chinese.- So you've bought a...

0:45:05 > 0:45:08You bought an immortal. You've got a watercolour.

0:45:08 > 0:45:09Yes. We got that...

0:45:09 > 0:45:11Not just a watercolour.

0:45:11 > 0:45:13No, that's really nice. Look at this, look...

0:45:13 > 0:45:14This is Norfolk, right?

0:45:14 > 0:45:16And that's a wherry.

0:45:16 > 0:45:18Oh, that should do well in Windsor.

0:45:18 > 0:45:20Yes, no, that'll go down...

0:45:20 > 0:45:22There are lots of people in Windsor who go on holiday in Norfolk

0:45:22 > 0:45:25and long for that kind of picture.

0:45:25 > 0:45:29We got also rather a nice bit about the Great Exhibition, 1851.

0:45:29 > 0:45:31You're a big fan of the Great Exhibition, aren't you?

0:45:31 > 0:45:33- And so's John.- No, yeah, we are.

0:45:33 > 0:45:36Do you want to see what proper antiques look like?

0:45:36 > 0:45:37Fire away. Do you want to have a look?

0:45:37 > 0:45:41You, let's just, you hold that Peter, let's just whip the...

0:45:41 > 0:45:43- Ready?- Yeah, let's just whip that off.

0:45:43 > 0:45:45One, two, three...

0:45:45 > 0:45:47And then we've got a bit more to go over here.

0:45:47 > 0:45:49- Peter, do you want to come and... - Yeah.

0:45:49 > 0:45:51This is, this is, this is it.

0:45:51 > 0:45:52- This really is it.- This is the...

0:45:52 > 0:45:54Is our piece de resistance.

0:45:54 > 0:45:56Looking after Michelangelo, is it?

0:45:56 > 0:45:59No, we think it's actually by Michelangelo.

0:45:59 > 0:46:01And what's your favourite one, Peter?

0:46:01 > 0:46:02My favourite one.

0:46:02 > 0:46:05Well, the one I'll use most is the decanter, I think.

0:46:05 > 0:46:07- Yes.- But I like the windmill.

0:46:07 > 0:46:08I've got a...

0:46:08 > 0:46:11Because I used to get these at Weston-Super-Mare, you know,

0:46:11 > 0:46:12- the paper ones.- Yeah.

0:46:12 > 0:46:13But this is the real thing.

0:46:13 > 0:46:16- Peter, you better demonstrate the...- Can I demonstrate the donkey?

0:46:16 > 0:46:21- You're absolutely right.- Where is he?- He's just down there.- There he is, my sweet little donkey.

0:46:21 > 0:46:22Yes. Isn't it good? Hang on.

0:46:22 > 0:46:25- Let's find out whether his... Where his head is.- There we go.

0:46:25 > 0:46:29- Don't get the wrong end, otherwise we really will be in trouble. - This is what he does.

0:46:29 > 0:46:31Look at him wagging his little tail.

0:46:31 > 0:46:32And his head.

0:46:32 > 0:46:34I think we've all done very well.

0:46:34 > 0:46:35Let's go and have a drink, Peter,

0:46:35 > 0:46:38and mull over what the opposition have done, shall we?

0:46:38 > 0:46:39- OK.- Come on,

0:46:39 > 0:46:42- John.- Come on, spit it out, what do you really think?

0:46:42 > 0:46:46I'm not worried, I think that we have got a fantastic selection ourselves,

0:46:46 > 0:46:48I'm, I'm confident in what we've got.

0:46:48 > 0:46:50Did you like their donkey?

0:46:50 > 0:46:53I did actually. I thought that was perhaps the best item of all.

0:46:53 > 0:46:54- Quite fun.- It was funny.

0:46:54 > 0:46:56- Yeah.- And I could do with a few laughs.

0:46:56 > 0:46:57- Yeah, yeah.- Of their lots,

0:46:57 > 0:47:01the most tactile lot for you is probably that Chinese wooden carving

0:47:01 > 0:47:03- thing.- Yeah.- Because you could have picked it up and...

0:47:03 > 0:47:06You know. You're not going to get too much out of a print and a

0:47:06 > 0:47:08- watercolour, are you?- No, no, no.

0:47:08 > 0:47:11I think the point as far as I was concerned was to make sure that all the

0:47:11 > 0:47:16items I actually liked and thought were good fun.

0:47:16 > 0:47:17And that other people would like them.

0:47:17 > 0:47:19That's all you can judge it.

0:47:19 > 0:47:21- It's all we can do.- Time will tell.

0:47:21 > 0:47:24Having begun their journey in East Molesey,

0:47:24 > 0:47:28our reporters and their fixers meandered the lanes of Surrey before

0:47:28 > 0:47:30heading north to auction in Windsor,

0:47:30 > 0:47:32where the wives will be merry.

0:47:32 > 0:47:34But who knows about the husbands.

0:47:34 > 0:47:38I've chosen things that a sighted person will choose.

0:47:38 > 0:47:44So I've chosen a picture of the Norfolk Broads and you know things like...

0:47:44 > 0:47:46I don't think, well is that me being insensitive?

0:47:46 > 0:47:50Shouldn't I have been choosing things that we could talk about and that

0:47:50 > 0:47:52you would be able to enjoy as well?

0:47:52 > 0:47:54Oh, no, I don't think you should worry about that.

0:47:54 > 0:47:56I didn't think about you at all.

0:47:56 > 0:48:00One would want you to be buying the things that you would want.

0:48:00 > 0:48:04I wouldn't want to do have to feel you were influenced by making it

0:48:04 > 0:48:06- accessible to me.- No, no, that's right.

0:48:06 > 0:48:11And also, I'm thinking of the marvellous title of your radio series that

0:48:11 > 0:48:13you've got. No Triumph, No Tragedy.

0:48:13 > 0:48:17Meaning you've got to get on with your life, it's different from my life.

0:48:17 > 0:48:20- That's right.- But we've all got to get on with it as it were separately.

0:48:20 > 0:48:24What I was trying to reflect with that title, with that radio series,

0:48:24 > 0:48:29is that normally, when you see disability reflected in the media,

0:48:29 > 0:48:32whether on television or radio, people, you know,

0:48:32 > 0:48:35they either talk about the tragic disability that somebody has got,

0:48:35 > 0:48:38or the way in which they have triumphed over it.

0:48:38 > 0:48:40- Yes.- That is not how our lives are at all.

0:48:40 > 0:48:45I do not wake up in the morning and think, "Oh, God, I'm still blind."

0:48:45 > 0:48:49You know. We live our lives as they are and they do not fall into

0:48:49 > 0:48:51triumphs and tragedies.

0:48:51 > 0:48:53Good philosophy.

0:48:53 > 0:48:56John and Peter are winding their way to Windsor Auctions, our saleroom today,

0:48:56 > 0:49:01where a crowd is gathering to bid and there's online bidding too.

0:49:01 > 0:49:02Very good. Well done.

0:49:02 > 0:49:05John, good morning. Peter, good morning.

0:49:05 > 0:49:08Of the £400 that they each started out with,

0:49:08 > 0:49:11John spent £202 on his five lots.

0:49:11 > 0:49:14Our work is done here, John.

0:49:14 > 0:49:17While Peter's five lots cost him £300.

0:49:19 > 0:49:20It's a human head, isn't it?

0:49:20 > 0:49:24- Yeah.- Yeah, I've just found its nostrils.

0:49:24 > 0:49:26Before the auction starts,

0:49:26 > 0:49:31let's get auctioneer Harry Ballin's opinion of their purchases.

0:49:31 > 0:49:33The early terracotta bust, I really like that.

0:49:33 > 0:49:35It's a cracking piece. We've had

0:49:35 > 0:49:37lots of interest in the room and online.

0:49:37 > 0:49:40I can see it making about £200.

0:49:40 > 0:49:42Watercolour of the Norfolk Broads, we all like this.

0:49:42 > 0:49:45It's a nice thing. It's a bit samey,

0:49:45 > 0:49:47it's a bit safe, but it will sell.

0:49:47 > 0:49:48Well, we'll see. No reserve.

0:49:48 > 0:49:50It's pretty well bound to.

0:49:50 > 0:49:54Come on, chaps. Take your seats and if you're sitting comfortably,

0:49:54 > 0:49:55we'll begin. First up,

0:49:55 > 0:49:59John and James' Chinese root carving which so divided opinion.

0:49:59 > 0:50:01Right, start the bidding at £40.

0:50:01 > 0:50:03£40, any interest at 40?

0:50:03 > 0:50:05£40 I have and I'm looking for 42.

0:50:05 > 0:50:07- 45, sir?- Yeah.

0:50:07 > 0:50:08Yeah? 48 at the back?

0:50:08 > 0:50:11Yeah? 48. 50. 55 at the back?

0:50:11 > 0:50:14Oh, unstoppable now.

0:50:14 > 0:50:1665. No?

0:50:16 > 0:50:18Are you out? He's looking the other way.

0:50:18 > 0:50:19So it's back with you at 60.

0:50:19 > 0:50:21Selling on your wall at £60.

0:50:21 > 0:50:22Fair warning to all.

0:50:23 > 0:50:26And it's made a £10 profit.

0:50:26 > 0:50:28Only a minor victory.

0:50:28 > 0:50:29Not quite a

0:50:31 > 0:50:34rout that I hoped it...

0:50:34 > 0:50:37Time now for Peter and Phil's decanter.

0:50:37 > 0:50:38Chin-chin.

0:50:38 > 0:50:40Oh, hello. Hang on.

0:50:40 > 0:50:42Ten, I've got there. 12 here.

0:50:42 > 0:50:44Come on. Come on.

0:50:44 > 0:50:4515 there. 18 there. 20.

0:50:45 > 0:50:4722.

0:50:47 > 0:50:49You're out. 25, sir?

0:50:50 > 0:50:52No? It's 22 over here.

0:50:52 > 0:50:54I have 22 over here in the middle of the room.

0:50:54 > 0:50:56At £22.

0:50:56 > 0:50:57Fair warning.

0:50:59 > 0:51:01£3 loss there then.

0:51:01 > 0:51:04No celebrating that with a wee dram.

0:51:04 > 0:51:08There we are. At last a bit of fairness has come into all this.

0:51:08 > 0:51:09A bit of common sense.

0:51:09 > 0:51:13A coloured print from an exhibition now.

0:51:13 > 0:51:17That's the Great Exhibition of 1851.

0:51:17 > 0:51:18£30.

0:51:18 > 0:51:20Any interest at 30?

0:51:20 > 0:51:21What about 20?

0:51:22 > 0:51:24Oh, no. What about...

0:51:24 > 0:51:26£20 I have, thank you very much.

0:51:26 > 0:51:28£20 I have and 22, I'm after.

0:51:28 > 0:51:2922, I have.

0:51:29 > 0:51:31I'm looking for 22.

0:51:31 > 0:51:32Selling at £20.

0:51:32 > 0:51:33Fair warning.

0:51:35 > 0:51:38That's an £8 profit.

0:51:38 > 0:51:40They say it's a good thing to be born lucky, don't they, Peter?

0:51:41 > 0:51:45Now, can Peter and Phil's wooden windmill turn in a profit?

0:51:45 > 0:51:47£50, shall we?

0:51:47 > 0:51:48Any interest at £50?

0:51:48 > 0:51:50I have. And 55 and 60.

0:51:50 > 0:51:52Come on. 65 and 70.

0:51:52 > 0:51:55- They're away.- No, come on, sir.

0:51:55 > 0:51:56Don't look at your feet.

0:51:56 > 0:51:57£70? Are you sure?

0:51:57 > 0:51:5970 I have here.

0:51:59 > 0:52:0175. 80. 85.

0:52:01 > 0:52:0390. 95. 100.

0:52:03 > 0:52:08110. 110, I have here. 115?

0:52:08 > 0:52:09120?

0:52:09 > 0:52:11125.

0:52:11 > 0:52:15- That's good. I'm enjoying these auctions.- They are just going crazy.

0:52:15 > 0:52:16Twice you've broken your limit.

0:52:16 > 0:52:17We can keep going to 130.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19Come on. Yeah.

0:52:19 > 0:52:21130 it is. 135.

0:52:21 > 0:52:25Yeah? 140. 135 at the back of the room.

0:52:25 > 0:52:27And I'm looking for 140.

0:52:27 > 0:52:30- Come on.- Fair warning.

0:52:30 > 0:52:32They nearly doubled their money there.

0:52:32 > 0:52:35That should put the wind in their sails.

0:52:36 > 0:52:38That was my hunch, I have to say.

0:52:38 > 0:52:39Good.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41Just on touch.

0:52:41 > 0:52:44Yeah, that just shows you have got the touch.

0:52:44 > 0:52:47Next up is the Italian Maiolika water jug

0:52:47 > 0:52:49John really splashed out on.

0:52:49 > 0:52:52Any interest at £20 for the water jug at 20?

0:52:52 > 0:52:53£20, any interest...

0:52:56 > 0:52:58Schadenfreude. I love it.

0:52:58 > 0:52:5922 online.

0:52:59 > 0:53:0125 at the back? Yes?

0:53:01 > 0:53:03No? Shake of the head?

0:53:03 > 0:53:04Ratification. This is a...

0:53:04 > 0:53:06It's £22 online.

0:53:06 > 0:53:07- It's all right.- Selling at £22.

0:53:07 > 0:53:09I'm looking for 25. 25 now.

0:53:09 > 0:53:11Thank you very much. 25 I have and I'm looking for 28.

0:53:13 > 0:53:1528 online.

0:53:15 > 0:53:18- Yes.- Hysteria.

0:53:18 > 0:53:20Come on now.

0:53:20 > 0:53:24Why are we getting these tiny little amounts extra?

0:53:24 > 0:53:26Selling therefore at £30.

0:53:26 > 0:53:27Fair warning to all.

0:53:28 > 0:53:29Are you sure?

0:53:30 > 0:53:33Oh, dear. £50 lost.

0:53:33 > 0:53:34John is really trailing now.

0:53:37 > 0:53:40We've lost £50.

0:53:40 > 0:53:42That's clawed a little bit back.

0:53:42 > 0:53:44Peter's clockwork toy now.

0:53:44 > 0:53:48And if this doesn't make a profit, I'll bray like a donkey!

0:53:48 > 0:53:50£30 for a donkey.

0:53:50 > 0:53:51- Come on.- Come on, donkey.

0:53:51 > 0:53:53- It's a lovely...- £20 then.

0:53:53 > 0:53:55Any interest at £20?

0:53:55 > 0:53:56A boring donkey.

0:53:56 > 0:53:58£20 in the middle.

0:53:58 > 0:54:0022, here? Go on.

0:54:00 > 0:54:0225? 28.

0:54:02 > 0:54:0328.

0:54:05 > 0:54:07Lovely. 30.

0:54:07 > 0:54:09Selling at 30.

0:54:09 > 0:54:11Fair warning. That's another good one.

0:54:11 > 0:54:13I'm going to bray anyway...

0:54:13 > 0:54:14HE BRAYS

0:54:14 > 0:54:17That's donkey for profit.

0:54:17 > 0:54:18Only made a fiver.

0:54:18 > 0:54:20Made a fiver, that's not bad.

0:54:20 > 0:54:25- Yeah.- Time now for John and James' leather-cased sewing kit.

0:54:25 > 0:54:27Any interest at 20?

0:54:27 > 0:54:31£10?

0:54:31 > 0:54:32Any interest at a tenner?

0:54:32 > 0:54:34It has to be sold.

0:54:34 > 0:54:35It has to be sold.

0:54:35 > 0:54:38A fiver then, sir. £5.

0:54:38 > 0:54:41Thank you very much. £5 I have and eight I'm looking for.

0:54:41 > 0:54:45Five I have and I'm selling that way unless I hear eight.

0:54:45 > 0:54:46Fair warning...

0:54:47 > 0:54:50Well, that turned out to be a stitch up.

0:54:50 > 0:54:51£15 loss.

0:54:52 > 0:54:55- Oh, no!- We are shocked.

0:54:55 > 0:54:56£5.

0:54:56 > 0:54:59With the things we bought, there was a consistency right across...

0:54:59 > 0:55:01We weren't one-hit wonders, were we?

0:55:01 > 0:55:03- No. - JOHN:- But we are talking emotion...

0:55:05 > 0:55:08We are talking sentiment.

0:55:08 > 0:55:10Well, sentiment drew Peter to the next lot.

0:55:10 > 0:55:13The 1950s Pye record player.

0:55:13 > 0:55:15Will it be a long player today?

0:55:15 > 0:55:18Any interest at 30?

0:55:18 > 0:55:1920 then?

0:55:20 > 0:55:21We mustn't look smug, James.

0:55:21 > 0:55:23£20 I have.

0:55:23 > 0:55:26A lady who hasn't learnt to download music.

0:55:26 > 0:55:27£20, I have.

0:55:27 > 0:55:29And I'm looking for 22.

0:55:29 > 0:55:31Hang on, we are being talked down by the auctioneer here.

0:55:31 > 0:55:32And I'm selling at 20...

0:55:32 > 0:55:34- Come on.- Oh, dear.

0:55:34 > 0:55:38What a shame. Not quite the sweet sound of success there.

0:55:41 > 0:55:43We are doomed now. No.

0:55:43 > 0:55:46Next is Peter and Phil's terracotta bust,

0:55:46 > 0:55:48and maritime plinth.

0:55:48 > 0:55:50They have high hopes for this.

0:55:50 > 0:55:53150 I have and I'm looking for 160.

0:55:53 > 0:55:55160 I have and I'm looking...

0:55:55 > 0:55:58- Yes!- 170. 170 I have.

0:55:58 > 0:55:59180 I now have.

0:55:59 > 0:56:00190.

0:56:01 > 0:56:04Come on! I'm looking for 200.

0:56:05 > 0:56:07He always comes up smelling of roses.

0:56:07 > 0:56:09Selling at 190.

0:56:09 > 0:56:11Looking for 200...

0:56:12 > 0:56:14A very classy £60 profit there.

0:56:14 > 0:56:18Well done, chaps. Is a win in the bag?

0:56:18 > 0:56:20Very good. That's very good.

0:56:20 > 0:56:22Well done. Well done, Peter.

0:56:22 > 0:56:25We've reached our last lot now,

0:56:25 > 0:56:28the painting of a wherry on the Norfolk Broads.

0:56:28 > 0:56:29Is it a masterpiece?

0:56:29 > 0:56:31£50, we are looking for.

0:56:31 > 0:56:33We are straight in at 50 online.

0:56:33 > 0:56:3455. 60. 65. 70.

0:56:36 > 0:56:38Well done, you.

0:56:38 > 0:56:40Nobody in the room still bidding.

0:56:40 > 0:56:44Online competition is fierce and the price has rocketed.

0:56:44 > 0:56:46What are we at? We are at £330.

0:56:46 > 0:56:48We are looking for 340.

0:56:48 > 0:56:51Anybody else in the room want to get involved?

0:56:51 > 0:56:55No? Selling therefore at £330.

0:56:55 > 0:56:59£330!

0:56:59 > 0:57:02That's a fantastic £290 profit,

0:57:02 > 0:57:06courtesy of discerning sailor, Mr Sergeant.

0:57:06 > 0:57:09And he may just have pipped Mr White at the post.

0:57:09 > 0:57:11Now, we must be gracious in victory.

0:57:12 > 0:57:15Peter, I think we should get up and quietly get out of the building.

0:57:15 > 0:57:17Do you think so?

0:57:17 > 0:57:19Time to tally up the figures.

0:57:19 > 0:57:22Peter started with £400 and after auction costs,

0:57:22 > 0:57:28made a profit of £25.54, finishing with £425.54.

0:57:28 > 0:57:30Very respectable.

0:57:32 > 0:57:36John also begun with £400 and he too made a profit.

0:57:36 > 0:57:40£162.90 after saleroom charges.

0:57:40 > 0:57:44So, with a total of £562.90,

0:57:44 > 0:57:48we declare that Mr John Sergeant was first past the post

0:57:48 > 0:57:52and that he is winner of this Celebrity Antiques Roadtrip.

0:57:52 > 0:57:55A round of applause to them both and all profits go to Children In Need.

0:57:55 > 0:57:57Hurrah!

0:57:59 > 0:58:00I want to paint the scene for you...

0:58:00 > 0:58:04- Yes.- You've got two very smug...

0:58:04 > 0:58:06No, no, no.

0:58:06 > 0:58:07Smug? Moi?

0:58:07 > 0:58:08Very magnanimous.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10You can't even spell magnanimous.

0:58:10 > 0:58:12Of course I can't. I'm dyslexic.

0:58:12 > 0:58:14- We are gracious in victory.- Come on.

0:58:14 > 0:58:17Those smiling assassins.

0:58:17 > 0:58:20You fancied the wherry and I fancied the windmill.

0:58:20 > 0:58:21And they both did well.

0:58:21 > 0:58:23Yeah. But it was great fun.

0:58:23 > 0:58:25- I really enjoyed it. - I enjoyed your company too.

0:58:25 > 0:58:27Yeah. I know, it was good, Peter.

0:58:27 > 0:58:28We were well-met, weren't we?

0:58:28 > 0:58:31- We were.- And well-matched, it was fun.

0:58:31 > 0:58:34It was "wherry good", gents.

0:58:34 > 0:58:36God bless you and all who sail in you. Ha-ha.