David Harper v Paul Hayes - UK Antiques Fair

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0:00:02 > 0:00:03This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is,

0:00:03 > 0:00:07the show that pitches TV's best-loved antiques experts

0:00:07 > 0:00:11against each other in an all-out battle for profit...

0:00:11 > 0:00:13Weh-hey!

0:00:13 > 0:00:16..and gives you the insider's view of the trade.

0:00:16 > 0:00:17I'm on the case.

0:00:19 > 0:00:22Each week, one pair of duelling dealers will face

0:00:22 > 0:00:24a different daily challenge...

0:00:24 > 0:00:27I'm a cheeky chancer. Lovely!

0:00:27 > 0:00:30..putting their reputations on the line and giving you top tips

0:00:30 > 0:00:35and savvy secrets on how to make the most money from buying and selling.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38Let's go and spend some money!

0:00:38 > 0:00:40Get in there! Ha ha ha ha!

0:00:40 > 0:00:44Today, iconic antiques expert David Harper takes on

0:00:44 > 0:00:47the plucky prince of purchasing, Paul Hayes.

0:00:48 > 0:00:51Coming up, David finds his perfect purchase...

0:00:51 > 0:00:52Oh!

0:00:52 > 0:00:54Did you say a cheese board?

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Paul makes a new friend...

0:00:56 > 0:00:59Are you enjoying things, David? Yes! Whereabouts are you?

0:00:59 > 0:01:01I'm inside, where it's nice and warm!

0:01:01 > 0:01:03And David gets delusions of grandeur...

0:01:03 > 0:01:05Thank you, all, my people.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07Marvellous people, they are.

0:01:07 > 0:01:10This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26Today, it's the ultimate battle of mind over matter

0:01:26 > 0:01:32as two heroes of antiques folklore hit the stage, strutting their stuff

0:01:32 > 0:01:34and cranking up the volume in search of profit.

0:01:35 > 0:01:39First up, they say the devil is in the detail, and this man

0:01:39 > 0:01:43certainly knows every trick in the book of the dark arts of dealing!

0:01:43 > 0:01:46It's "Devilish" David Harper.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49He's up against a legend in his own lunchtime,

0:01:49 > 0:01:51the ultimate bargain hit-maker,

0:01:51 > 0:01:55the blonde bombshell of the antiques world, a man with Northern Soul.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Paul "Mr Morecambe" Hayes.

0:01:58 > 0:02:02Today our two Rolling Stones are rolling into the Lincolnshire

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Antiques and Home show to uncover some superb purchases

0:02:05 > 0:02:07to sell on later.

0:02:07 > 0:02:11They've each got £750 of their own money to spend

0:02:11 > 0:02:14and all the profit goes to their chosen charities.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17But will our duelling duo be able to storm the stage

0:02:17 > 0:02:19and uncover some spectacular bargains?

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Or will they go down like a lead zeppelin?

0:02:22 > 0:02:25David Harper and Paul Hayes,

0:02:25 > 0:02:29it's time to put your money where your mouth is.

0:02:29 > 0:02:30Morning, David.

0:02:30 > 0:02:31- Good morning.- How are you?

0:02:31 > 0:02:34- I'm very well. A bit chilly. - And a bit wet.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36- And a bit early! - Certainly a bit early.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Can you believe it, these guys have been here

0:02:38 > 0:02:39since five o'clock this morning.

0:02:39 > 0:02:41We've been at the rough end as well, haven't we?

0:02:41 > 0:02:45- We know it's a tough old job. But we have got money.- Yeah.- 750 quid.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47Yeah, to spend on items, hopefully, we can make a profit on.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50- Well, that's the whole idea!- There's always a first time!- Any plans?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Well, do you know what,

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- I've got something that I always bring to antique fairs.- Really?

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yes. I'm not going to show you it just now.

0:02:57 > 0:02:58You're not going to feel this item?

0:02:58 > 0:03:01- No, you've never seen anything like it.- Well, I should hope not!

0:03:01 > 0:03:04- But I also have something very special.- Really?

0:03:04 > 0:03:06- It's called a secret weapon. - Oh, right. Fair enough.- Yes.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09And because it's secret, you aren't going to know about it.

0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Keep that to yourself, David.- You don't look worried at all, Paul!- No.

0:03:12 > 0:03:14- It's funny, that.- Good luck!

0:03:14 > 0:03:18So our Machiavellian megastar dealers are both keeping each other

0:03:18 > 0:03:20in the dark about their orchestrated manoeuvres.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24But has Paul really got a master plan?

0:03:24 > 0:03:28There we are now, believe it or not, I do have a strategy today.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31And I really feel sorry for the guys that are standing here outside.

0:03:31 > 0:03:35But that could actually be to my advantage, they all want to sell.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Most people have actually gone inside where it's nice and warm

0:03:38 > 0:03:40to browse at your leisure.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43But if you're willing to survive the elements, really,

0:03:43 > 0:03:45you can find some bargains out here.

0:03:45 > 0:03:49So, Paul's staying outside in the hope of soaking up a good deal or two.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53But what little scheme has David got tucked away?

0:03:53 > 0:03:58I'm going to reveal my secret weapon. And my secret weapon is information.

0:03:58 > 0:04:01So we've got Michael, he wants something cafe-related.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04We've got architectural stuff, we've got book people,

0:04:04 > 0:04:08cooking-related objects. All quirky, all fun things.

0:04:08 > 0:04:12And I tell you what, information, baby, is power.

0:04:12 > 0:04:15That secret weapon is power.

0:04:15 > 0:04:18David's armed with his list of items for potential buyers.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22But didn't Paul also mention having a secret weapon tucked away?

0:04:22 > 0:04:25I must admit, I've been to lots of antique fairs.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27I've stood out here, I've slept in the van.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31And there's one piece of essential kit that everyone should have.

0:04:31 > 0:04:33It's...

0:04:33 > 0:04:35a decent pair of thermals! That's all you need!

0:04:35 > 0:04:37- WOLF WHISTLE - There you are! Right!

0:04:37 > 0:04:40So, that's Paul's secret weapon! Mmm!

0:04:40 > 0:04:44Well, with the 4-bar intro over, it's straight into the first verse

0:04:44 > 0:04:47of this melody of masterly antiques acquiring.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51And it's David who's first off the mark as he spots a set of wall lamps.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54Well, they're funky, aren't they? What have we got here, then?

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- Four of those.- 1960s.- 1960s? They're really light.

0:04:57 > 0:05:02- No, in actual fact, I'm really strong, cos they're cast iron, aren't they?- They are, yeah.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05That. Actually, I'm not very strong at all. What are they, wood?

0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Aluminium.- Look at that style there.

0:05:07 > 0:05:10That is so Victorian, it's unbelievable.

0:05:10 > 0:05:13I would say, looking at them from a distance, they're cast iron,

0:05:13 > 0:05:161860, made by a company like Coalbrookdale.

0:05:16 > 0:05:19If they were stamped Coalbrookdale they'd be worth a fortune,

0:05:19 > 0:05:23they'd be monstrously heavy and fantastic quality, but no.

0:05:23 > 0:05:28They're actually what we might refer to as mug's eyefuls,

0:05:28 > 0:05:30because if you're a bit of a mug,

0:05:30 > 0:05:33you might think they were made in 1860, a bit like I did,

0:05:33 > 0:05:35but what they are is funky

0:05:35 > 0:05:38and great architectural things.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43- What kind of money are they? - Umm...- Cheap, cheap, cheap?

0:05:43 > 0:05:46- 150 for the four. - Cheap, cheap, cheap!

0:05:46 > 0:05:47- 150 for the four.- No!

0:05:47 > 0:05:49Can they be 20 quid apiece?

0:05:49 > 0:05:52- They could be £90 for four. - £90 for four?

0:05:52 > 0:05:55Done deal. Thank you very much indeed. Marvellous.

0:05:55 > 0:05:58Fantastic to get a purchase in, quick fire.

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Yes, David takes the lead.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04His wall lamps put Paul in the shade to the tune of one-nil.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07But, before Paul gets a chance to catch up, David spots something

0:06:07 > 0:06:12else that really will get his armoury of antiques up and running.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16- So, they're re-enactment shields? - Re-enactment shields. - Medieval shields?

0:06:16 > 0:06:18With some kind of heraldry on each one.

0:06:18 > 0:06:22I tell you what, they're heavy. What are they? Aluminium again?

0:06:22 > 0:06:24I would say something like that.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25But they're heavy, aren't they, Noel?

0:06:25 > 0:06:27- Yeah, for aluminium. - How much are they, Noel?

0:06:27 > 0:06:31I'll do £10 each or £50 for the five.

0:06:31 > 0:06:33- Is that a good deal, Noel?- Excellent.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35- You promise me that's a good deal? - Excellent deal.

0:06:35 > 0:06:38So, if I buy all of them, am I getting a better deal?

0:06:38 > 0:06:41- You'll profit immensely from that. - If you say it, Noel, I'll have them.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43- Thank you. - Thank you very much indeed.

0:06:43 > 0:06:46Great guy. You always need all the help you can get. Thank you, Noel.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49And while David goes back to school for a lesson in maths,

0:06:49 > 0:06:51Paul isn't one to buckle under the pressure,

0:06:51 > 0:06:53as he approaches his first possible purchase.

0:06:53 > 0:06:57Look at this. This is a type of nursing buckle.

0:06:57 > 0:07:01They used to buy these... The old Victorian ladies used to have these huge belts to

0:07:01 > 0:07:05hold on their bustles and so on. This is extremely Art Nouveau.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Look at that. It's all organic forms.

0:07:07 > 0:07:10It looks like the entrance to the metro in Paris, doesn't it?

0:07:10 > 0:07:12All that wonderful artwork.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15Sorry, what did you say that was? £30?

0:07:15 > 0:07:17You can't do 20, with a smile?

0:07:18 > 0:07:20PAUL LAUGHS

0:07:20 > 0:07:23- It must be 25.- 25. I'll have that, thank you very much.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26So, Paul's purchase of the Edwardian belt buckle means

0:07:26 > 0:07:29he's out of the blocks and in the race.

0:07:29 > 0:07:33With Paul now rocking the outside stalls, David runs for cover.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36Under shelter now, he whips out his list

0:07:36 > 0:07:38and shows it to a pair of dealers

0:07:38 > 0:07:40he knows to see if they can help.

0:07:40 > 0:07:41First edition books.

0:07:43 > 0:07:45What about this one?

0:07:45 > 0:07:47Now, is it a first edition?

0:07:47 > 0:07:51- Cricket Triumphs And Troubles.- Oh!

0:07:51 > 0:07:53Cecil Parkin, 1936.

0:07:53 > 0:07:57This is a book all about cricket triumphs and troubles.

0:07:57 > 0:07:59And anybody who plays cricket knows

0:07:59 > 0:08:01all about the triumphs and troubles.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04But this is quite interesting, depending on how much it is.

0:08:04 > 0:08:05How much is it?

0:08:06 > 0:08:09£22. That's not expensive, is it?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12But anybody who's interested in cricket,

0:08:12 > 0:08:15sporting memorabilia can be really good news.

0:08:15 > 0:08:19So, ladies, this doesn't fall into any of my distinct categories,

0:08:19 > 0:08:21but how are you going to make me spend my money?

0:08:21 > 0:08:23What are you going to say to me?

0:08:23 > 0:08:25- Come on, tempt me!- Simple.

0:08:25 > 0:08:29- That's the price, and to you... - Yes, what? Go on!

0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Go on, tell me!- It's another ten! Up ten.- Up ten?

0:08:32 > 0:08:36- You can't do that to me!- 20.- 20.

0:08:36 > 0:08:39It's 22, she said 20, there's no point in arguing, is there?

0:08:39 > 0:08:41Not on those sort of prices.

0:08:41 > 0:08:45No, I'll just give you 20 and I'll be very happy. Will you be happy?

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- We'll be happy.- We've made each other happy. Lovely to see you again.

0:08:48 > 0:08:49Thank you very much.

0:08:49 > 0:08:52# I don't like cricket... #

0:08:52 > 0:08:54That's David's third buy and he's bowled over.

0:08:54 > 0:08:56# I love it... #

0:08:56 > 0:08:59So, Paul really needs to fine-tune his act

0:08:59 > 0:09:02if he's hoping to end up top of the purchasing pops.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Still outside, he's scoured the stalls and has spotted something

0:09:05 > 0:09:07he really hopes will get him ahead.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11You know what, I spotted this earlier. I just walked away and I thought I'd come back

0:09:11 > 0:09:13and have another look at it.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16It's an old helmet and it looks like a First World War example.

0:09:16 > 0:09:19It looks like a fireman's helmet at first glance. But it's in French.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21I'm not sure what this actually translates as,

0:09:21 > 0:09:24which is part of the challenge for me, actually.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26These things can command quite a lot of money.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29This one is priced at £65, so we've got a good starting base, haven't we?

0:09:29 > 0:09:33But I've honestly no idea whether it's a fireman's helmet,

0:09:33 > 0:09:35whether it's military helmet.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38I'm going to ask the stall holder now, see if she can shed any light.

0:09:38 > 0:09:40But that's a great research item.

0:09:40 > 0:09:43I'll really enjoy trying to find out exactly what this was for.

0:09:43 > 0:09:45What a great bit of history there.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Let's see if we can find out a bit more about it. Excuse me, madam.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50I'm sorry to bother you. Do you know what this translates as?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53- Is it military or fireman? - It is fireman's.- Fireman's?

0:09:53 > 0:09:57- Right, from?- About 1890 to 1920.

0:09:57 > 0:09:59It's the local fire service.

0:09:59 > 0:10:04- And the name underneath... - It says "Sapeurs Pompiers De Chace."

0:10:04 > 0:10:07- De Chace, that's the town it's from. - The town, right.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10It's a fireman's helmet from the town of De Chace.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14You've got 65 on it. Or is it £6.50?

0:10:14 > 0:10:16I wish. No. Umm...

0:10:16 > 0:10:18The very best is 50.

0:10:18 > 0:10:22£50? OK. Thank you very much, madam. I shall have that.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25There we are, so I'm at an English antiques market, I've bought

0:10:25 > 0:10:27a French helmet off a German lady.

0:10:27 > 0:10:29There we are! Who's next?

0:10:29 > 0:10:32Well, it's like the United Nations of antiques.

0:10:32 > 0:10:35In spite of the rain, Mr Morecambe is on fire.

0:10:35 > 0:10:38As we reach the middle eight of our rhapsody of rapid buying,

0:10:38 > 0:10:41it's time to see who will be bashing out a rocking profit

0:10:41 > 0:10:45and who still needs to crank up their volume.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Both our brave boys started the day

0:10:47 > 0:10:50with £750 to spend.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53David has picked up three items and spent £160,

0:10:53 > 0:10:56leaving him with £590 to play with.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Paul has made two purchases,

0:11:01 > 0:11:03totalling £75,

0:11:03 > 0:11:07leaving 675 in his kitty.

0:11:07 > 0:11:08So, at this halfway mark,

0:11:08 > 0:11:11our two striding antiques heroes

0:11:11 > 0:11:13take a break from their cacophony

0:11:13 > 0:11:15of cash-splashing in order to meet up

0:11:15 > 0:11:17and reveal their secret weapons.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20- Ah! Now then, David, how's it going? - My lips are going, Paul.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24I've just been inside and I'm freezing. Outside I'm freezing.

0:11:24 > 0:11:27You know what, I'm lovely and warm. I shall say no more.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30There's some amazing stuff here. You know, you can buy anything.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32- I love it.- If you had a shopping list and said

0:11:32 > 0:11:35- "Bring me back something really obscure," you'd find it here today.- Really?- Yeah.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39I think it's probably about time that I reveal to you my secret weapon.

0:11:39 > 0:11:42- Go on, then.- You want to see the weapon?- I want to see the weapon.

0:11:42 > 0:11:44- Are you going to be impressed? - Probably not. What is it?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46You mentioned a shopping list,

0:11:46 > 0:11:50this is the ultimate shopping list

0:11:50 > 0:11:52- for the professional.- Right, OK.

0:11:52 > 0:11:53So I don't know why I've got it.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55So, come on, what's your secret weapon?

0:11:55 > 0:11:58It's nothing quite as advanced as yours, actually.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59If you call that advanced.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01Every time I come to an outdoor market,

0:12:01 > 0:12:03do you know what I bring with me?

0:12:03 > 0:12:06- What?- A good pair of long johns. Come on, I'll show you them.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Yes, Paul's feeling roasty-toasty in his long johns,

0:12:09 > 0:12:12but does that mean David will be toast in this competition?

0:12:12 > 0:12:16Well, that is a very good plan, I think, from Paul Hayes,

0:12:16 > 0:12:19wearing thermal underwear, that will keep him warm.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23So I'm going back indoors, cos I'm not wearing any underwear at all.

0:12:23 > 0:12:24Actually, I am. That was a joke.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Well, I'm very pleased to hear that, David,

0:12:26 > 0:12:29otherwise we'd have to call you Knickerless Harper.

0:12:29 > 0:12:30NARRATOR CLEARS THROAT

0:12:30 > 0:12:34But, just how is Paul's thermal thinking really working out?

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I tell you something, what an investment these long johns were.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40I'm nice and cosy, I'm wandering around.

0:12:40 > 0:12:43I've bought well, I think all the best stuff's still outside

0:12:43 > 0:12:46and David's inside, looking at all the pretty little bits and pieces,

0:12:46 > 0:12:49which, in my opinion, tend to be a little bit overpriced.

0:12:49 > 0:12:53It's much better to get out here to find the variety of things, I think.

0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yes, that's quite enough about your undercrackers.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58It's now time to turn on, tune in and buy out,

0:12:58 > 0:13:01as our two plucky pundits return to the stage.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03Paul is first to move in on his target

0:13:03 > 0:13:07and he spots a ventriloquist's doll that speaks for itself.

0:13:07 > 0:13:10Are you enjoying things, David? "Yes." Whereabouts are you?

0:13:10 > 0:13:13"Inside, where it's nice and warm." Have you bought anything nice?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16"Yes, some great stuff. I'm going to beat you."

0:13:16 > 0:13:19There we go. What do you think? Are you going to come home with me?

0:13:19 > 0:13:21"I don't know. Where are we going?" We're going back to Morecambe.

0:13:21 > 0:13:23"I've heard it's rubbish."

0:13:23 > 0:13:25No, it's lovely. It's improved. I'll buy you an ice cream.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27"OK. We'll go, then."

0:13:27 > 0:13:28So can that be 20?

0:13:29 > 0:13:32- Oh, go on, then.- Is that all right? - Oh, yeah.- Lovely.

0:13:32 > 0:13:33"Thank you very much."

0:13:33 > 0:13:35There we are, thank you.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38"Don't put me in that bag! Don't put me in that bag!

0:13:38 > 0:13:40"I can't breathe!"

0:13:40 > 0:13:42Thank you very much. "Let me out of this bag!"

0:13:42 > 0:13:44PAUL LAUGHS

0:13:44 > 0:13:47Paul bags his new friend, the ventriloquist's doll,

0:13:47 > 0:13:51and let's hope he doesn't feel like a dummy when he comes to sell it.

0:13:51 > 0:13:55I've got a new buying partner. Here we are. How's it all going, then?

0:13:55 > 0:13:57"Great out here, isn't it?" Fantastic.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00It's a bit of bad weather, though, isn't it? "Yes, it is."

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Do you know what? This is a really, really fun item.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05I'm going to call him David. I think it suits him, doesn't it, really?

0:14:05 > 0:14:08But I think this could do quite well. It's such an unusual piece.

0:14:08 > 0:14:10I've never seen one quite like it.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Never seen a Canadian doll, actually,

0:14:12 > 0:14:16so I look forward to researching this one, hopefully to find a buyer.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18You're going back in that bag, is that all right?

0:14:18 > 0:14:20"Not the bag! Not the bag!"

0:14:20 > 0:14:21PAUL LAUGHS

0:14:21 > 0:14:24Oh, it's great being cruel!

0:14:24 > 0:14:26And it's no wonder he's as giddy as a schoolboy,

0:14:26 > 0:14:29because that purchase takes the score to three-all.

0:14:29 > 0:14:31Unaware that Paul's caught up, David's found another

0:14:31 > 0:14:35item of interest, but will his list come in handy again?

0:14:35 > 0:14:36That's a cheeseboard.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- That's a good cheeseboard.- Spanish.

0:14:38 > 0:14:42- That's a really good cheeseboard. Oh!- What is it, David?

0:14:42 > 0:14:45- Did you say cheeseboard?- Yeah. Not a cheeseboard?

0:14:45 > 0:14:49- No, say a cheeseboard.- Cheese press.

0:14:49 > 0:14:52- This is for cheese manufacturing. - Cheese manufacturing.

0:14:52 > 0:14:53Definitely, positively?

0:14:53 > 0:14:56Definitely. Identified by a gentleman this morning.

0:14:56 > 0:14:58Excuse me a moment.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02Cheese shop display.

0:15:02 > 0:15:07You see, this is where being organised can really pay dividends.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09So this is, what, a 19th-century...

0:15:09 > 0:15:13- Spanish.- Spanish cheese press.

0:15:13 > 0:15:16- Cheese press.- And it's definitely...

0:15:16 > 0:15:19With a cheese press, the whey is put in there,

0:15:19 > 0:15:22the curds are put in there, you put a layer of sacking on it,

0:15:22 > 0:15:25and then they put more curds on the sacking.

0:15:25 > 0:15:26- OK.- Then they weigh it down with stones.

0:15:26 > 0:15:29OK, this is very interesting. How much?

0:15:29 > 0:15:31- For that?- Yeah.

0:15:31 > 0:15:34- 35 quid.- 30 quid.- No. 35.

0:15:36 > 0:15:38I've got to buy it, haven't I? I just have to have it.

0:15:38 > 0:15:41Will you spin me a coin, just to make a bit of fun?

0:15:41 > 0:15:4230 or 35?

0:15:43 > 0:15:47Well, I've seen you do this before and they always say that

0:15:47 > 0:15:49you have a double-headed coin.

0:15:49 > 0:15:50- Ha! Do they?- Yeah.

0:15:50 > 0:15:54- Do you want to inspect the coin? - You spin it.- You call it.- OK.

0:15:54 > 0:15:58- 30 or 35. Happy? And call.- Head.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Oh, and it's tails.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03It's a double-tailed coin, quite obviously.

0:16:03 > 0:16:05Done deal?

0:16:05 > 0:16:09Of course, it's a normal coin, as David always plays by the rules.

0:16:09 > 0:16:12He gets the press for less and takes the lead.

0:16:12 > 0:16:15Slicing straight through this competition like butter,

0:16:15 > 0:16:17David has spotted an antique knife sharpener

0:16:17 > 0:16:19he wants to take a stab at.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22Now then, just have a look.

0:16:22 > 0:16:27Clap your eyes on a really fine piece of quality machinery

0:16:27 > 0:16:29made to sharpen knives.

0:16:29 > 0:16:31So, imagine, you've got some great big country house,

0:16:31 > 0:16:35a good working kitchen, you've got to keep those knives incredibly sharp to

0:16:35 > 0:16:39cut the Sunday roast or a big joint of ham,

0:16:39 > 0:16:41you need a good piece of kit,

0:16:41 > 0:16:44something incredibly well-made. And look at that.

0:16:44 > 0:16:46Cast iron, solid oak,

0:16:46 > 0:16:48big brass plaque,

0:16:48 > 0:16:50S Nye & Co Manufacturers, London.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52That just does a really cracking job

0:16:52 > 0:16:54and it has done for about 120 years.

0:16:54 > 0:16:56So you'd bung your knives in the top, there,

0:16:56 > 0:16:59or in the side and you just crank it up

0:16:59 > 0:17:01and that sharpens your blades.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04But such a great piece of kit,

0:17:04 > 0:17:06just so well-made.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Dealer Karen has offered it for £85,

0:17:09 > 0:17:12but are David's wits sharp enough to get it cheaper?

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Karen, can you be kind, or don't you do kind?

0:17:14 > 0:17:16- Do you do kind?- Me do kind?

0:17:16 > 0:17:18- Yeah. Do you do kind?- I do kind.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Oh, do you?- Yes. But I don't do kind on that. Give me the best price.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24- Oh!- And I know it's on your shopping list!

0:17:24 > 0:17:28- That is you being horrible, not being kind.- I know.

0:17:28 > 0:17:29A bit kinder.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32I'll lose a fiver, and that gives me 15 quid on it,

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- so I won't take any less than that.- Go on, then.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36Lovely. Thank you very much.

0:17:36 > 0:17:37- Ooh, and a kiss.- I know.

0:17:37 > 0:17:41David seals the knife sharpener deal for £80 and a kiss.

0:17:41 > 0:17:45His latest purchase sends him rocketing up the buying charts,

0:17:45 > 0:17:47making it five-three.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49The countdown to the end is under way

0:17:49 > 0:17:52and Paul knows full well the gravity of the situation.

0:17:52 > 0:17:54Luckily, with time running out,

0:17:54 > 0:17:59he finds a retro space helmet TV set that's out of this world.

0:17:59 > 0:18:03MUSIC: "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss

0:18:05 > 0:18:08Oh, there you go. Look at that, eh? Wonderful.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11An astronaut's helmet that doubles as a television set.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Isn't that a wonderful item to have?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16It's 1980, 1981, it's in good working order.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18It's got a bit of a catch missing,

0:18:18 > 0:18:21but I think I can do something with that.

0:18:21 > 0:18:23But it's so retro and it's space inspired.

0:18:23 > 0:18:26Where I'm going to sell this, I've honestly no idea,

0:18:26 > 0:18:29but you know what, I hope the profits are intergalactic.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31# Intergalactic planetary... #

0:18:31 > 0:18:36Mr Morecambe is over the moon with the space helmet TV set at £50,

0:18:36 > 0:18:37but he's not finished yet.

0:18:38 > 0:18:42Rock and roller Paul sees something else that strikes a chord with him.

0:18:42 > 0:18:46Now then, believe it or not, I've walked past this stall once already, and I saw

0:18:46 > 0:18:49this wonderful-looking guitar at the back here.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53It's a Epiphone Les Paul and it has its original case with it.

0:18:53 > 0:18:55I just think it's a fantastic piece

0:18:55 > 0:18:58of iconic music memorabilia.

0:18:58 > 0:18:59The problem is, they still

0:18:59 > 0:19:01make these items today.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03If this was a period one, from the 1950s or '60s,

0:19:03 > 0:19:05you're looking at thousands of pounds.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07The gentleman wants 250 quid for it.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10It's a solid body, obviously it's very heavy.

0:19:10 > 0:19:11There you are, you see?

0:19:11 > 0:19:13I could be one of the Beatles.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15# Shake it up baby, now... #

0:19:15 > 0:19:17- And it's all in working order? - It is.- With its leads?

0:19:17 > 0:19:21There's no leads with it, but the leads are an optional extra, anyway.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- You can pick them up anywhere. - OK. Yeah.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26There's no cracks or chips or anything?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28- There's a tiny wee chip on the top. - Just on the top.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30- That's just a wee lacquer chip on the top.- Right.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33And what would be your best price on it?

0:19:33 > 0:19:36- The death on it? 210.- 210. - 210 would be the death on that.

0:19:37 > 0:19:40Can we say around £200? I was going to say, you knew that was coming.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42- I knew that was coming. - I'll give you a tune.

0:19:42 > 0:19:46Since we know the business, we'll do around 200. Thank you very much.

0:19:46 > 0:19:48Thank you very much. I'll have that. Thank you.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50I love it. I just like the look of it.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52If anything else, it just looks fantastic. There we are.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54A bit of rock and roll memorabilia.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57I had to buy something that was music-related and here it is.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Yes, the electric guitar gets Paul all tuned up

0:20:00 > 0:20:02and brings the buying round to a grand crescendo.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04And as the stadium empties,

0:20:04 > 0:20:08it's time for our two rockers to take a bow and clear the stage.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11But not before we find out how they got on.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16David and Paul started the day with

0:20:16 > 0:20:19£750 of their own money to spend.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22David ends the day having done five deals,

0:20:22 > 0:20:24spending a total of £270.

0:20:25 > 0:20:28Paul has also bought five items,

0:20:28 > 0:20:32but has forked out more - £345.

0:20:32 > 0:20:36So, with the concerto of concerted buying coming to a close,

0:20:36 > 0:20:38our two harmonious guitar heroes

0:20:38 > 0:20:41reunite to compare their wares.

0:20:41 > 0:20:44Well, I think, Paul, that's what you call an eclectic mix.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46I think you're right, actually. That's one word for it.

0:20:46 > 0:20:49I think there are a few other words we could use to describe our

0:20:49 > 0:20:52purchases, but eclectic, I think, is the one I'm searching for.

0:20:52 > 0:20:54I'm glad to see you've polished up your act.

0:20:54 > 0:20:56Boom, boom! He's great, isn't he?

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Joking apart, what's been your best buy?

0:21:00 > 0:21:04OK. My best buy, I think, has probably got to be that.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07It's a part of a cheese press, but I love it,

0:21:07 > 0:21:10because it's got that ancient, aged feel. Very tactile.

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Sounds good. I wouldn't know anything about it.

0:21:13 > 0:21:14It sounds like my joke book.

0:21:14 > 0:21:17- It supplies cheese.- Exactly.

0:21:17 > 0:21:20- I must admit, my favourite thing has to be that guitar.- I just knew it.

0:21:20 > 0:21:23I knew you'd buy something musical.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25What about your secret weapon? How was it?

0:21:25 > 0:21:27They've been priceless today,

0:21:27 > 0:21:28cos they've kept me nice and snug

0:21:28 > 0:21:30while I've been outside.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33And it's been great for buying, I've come back with this lovely stuff.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35- But I've had one problem with them. - Did they get wet?

0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'll show you. There's this bit down here.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39I thought you were walking a bit strange.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44We've reached the middle eight of this rare

0:21:44 > 0:21:47rhapsody in the key of antiques.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50And our dealing duo now need to sell each of their items

0:21:50 > 0:21:52for as much money as they can.

0:21:52 > 0:21:55But it's the one who makes the most profit

0:21:55 > 0:21:57who will walk away the winner.

0:21:57 > 0:22:00Our selling soloists return to their home ground

0:22:00 > 0:22:02to plan their attacks.

0:22:03 > 0:22:07So, how does Barnard Castle-based David feel about his haul?

0:22:07 > 0:22:10This, when I look at it now,

0:22:10 > 0:22:12is a mad collection of things.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14It's mind-boggling.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17We've got some lamps that look like they're Victorian

0:22:17 > 0:22:19and made from cast iron, but they're not.

0:22:19 > 0:22:20They're probably 1960s.

0:22:20 > 0:22:22They're reproduction fakes.

0:22:22 > 0:22:27We've got some 13th century-style medieval shields,

0:22:27 > 0:22:28which are nowhere near that.

0:22:28 > 0:22:30They're probably 20 years old,

0:22:30 > 0:22:32so they're a bit fakey as well.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35We've got something to do with cheesemaking.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37I'm hopefully going to send it to a

0:22:37 > 0:22:39cheese shop, just as a novelty item.

0:22:39 > 0:22:43And the cricket book. I love cricket and I love the drawing on the front.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46I think I paid too much money, but it doesn't really matter.

0:22:46 > 0:22:48I just like that. Then, look at this thing.

0:22:48 > 0:22:52A Victorian knife sharpener, circa 1880, 1900.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54Beautiful quality, quarter cut oak.

0:22:54 > 0:22:57Fabulous thing, but that will

0:22:57 > 0:22:58never, ever,

0:22:58 > 0:23:00in the history of the world,

0:23:00 > 0:23:02sharpen a knife.

0:23:02 > 0:23:05Now, then, Mr Morecambe, how about you?

0:23:05 > 0:23:07What have I bought?

0:23:07 > 0:23:09Well, I think I bought

0:23:09 > 0:23:10a contrasting mix of items.

0:23:10 > 0:23:12The first obvious thing has to be

0:23:12 > 0:23:13this television that is

0:23:13 > 0:23:17a wonderful 1980s retro TV, space-inspired.

0:23:17 > 0:23:20The guitar, well, wonderful guitar.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23Gibson, one of the biggest American manufacturers of guitars.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25It's a Les Paul design.

0:23:25 > 0:23:27He's actually credited with inventing the electric guitar.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31It has the word treble, so I hope I can treble my money on that one.

0:23:31 > 0:23:32You never know.

0:23:32 > 0:23:36The helmet, I think, is going to take a bit more research.

0:23:36 > 0:23:37It is definitely a fireman's helmet.

0:23:37 > 0:23:39And the buckle, from the turn of the century.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41It's very Art Nouveau, very stylish.

0:23:41 > 0:23:43And then, we have a ventriloquist's dummy.

0:23:43 > 0:23:47You know, behind every great expert, there's someone pulling the strings.

0:23:47 > 0:23:50In my case, I think it might be David Harper.

0:23:50 > 0:23:54But there are no dummies in this contest of buying and selling.

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Both our boys begin the phone work, web work

0:23:57 > 0:23:59and legwork that is necessary to make the sale.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02Remember, no deal is sealed until they've shaken

0:24:02 > 0:24:04and the cash is in their hands.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13Back on planet Earth, it's Paul who's first off the mark,

0:24:13 > 0:24:16hoping to sell the 1980s space helmet TV

0:24:16 > 0:24:18to retro game collector, Andrew,

0:24:18 > 0:24:22who works in a videogame shop in Paul's hometown of Morecambe.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25Paul paid £50 for the TV,

0:24:25 > 0:24:28but will he be able to launch a profit with it?

0:24:28 > 0:24:30- How are you?- All right. You?

0:24:30 > 0:24:33Now, then, I mentioned that I had this the other day. It's a fantastic item.

0:24:33 > 0:24:35I know very little about these,

0:24:35 > 0:24:37- but I know a cool thing when I see it.- It's very nice.

0:24:37 > 0:24:41- The helmet, shzzzzzz, isn't that wonderful?- That's fantastic.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44All right. There was one little snag with it.

0:24:44 > 0:24:47- When I bought it, there was a handle missing. Can you see?- Yeah.

0:24:47 > 0:24:48I managed to track down somebody,

0:24:48 > 0:24:50believe it or not, so it's all complete.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52And I've had it PAT tested.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55The gentleman came along and he made sure all the electrics were safe.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58What are you going to do with it, if you want to buy it?

0:24:58 > 0:24:59It's going to go in my games room

0:24:59 > 0:25:02and I'm going to play the old consoles and computers on it.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04It's going to be set up and played daily.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06- So you can be ten years old again.- Yeah.

0:25:06 > 0:25:08THEY LAUGH

0:25:08 > 0:25:10I was hoping, if it's something that you wanted,

0:25:10 > 0:25:13I'd be looking for maybe about 100 quid, £120?

0:25:13 > 0:25:15- Yeah, £100 is a fair price. - Shall we shake on 100 quid?

0:25:15 > 0:25:18- Shake on 100, definitely.- Fantastic.

0:25:18 > 0:25:21You know what, it's a really nice feeling to actually re-home

0:25:21 > 0:25:24something and to find a person as enthusiastic as me

0:25:24 > 0:25:27and make up bit of profit in the meantime.

0:25:27 > 0:25:30Repairs and PAT testing cost Paul a further £12,

0:25:30 > 0:25:34meaning he's rocketed up a profit of £38.

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Over in Yorkshire, David is also on the move.

0:25:38 > 0:25:42He's taken the faux Victorian lamps that cost £90 to

0:25:42 > 0:25:44Richmond-based contact Sarah,

0:25:44 > 0:25:47a dealer of architectural items.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49Pick one up and tell me what you think.

0:25:49 > 0:25:51I'm a bit worried, they look a bit heavy, like...

0:25:51 > 0:25:53Oh, no, they're really light.

0:25:53 > 0:25:55They're very light. Aren't they clever?

0:25:55 > 0:25:57- You think they're cast iron. - Exactly what I thought.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59They're actually made of aluminium.

0:25:59 > 0:26:02They've been wired, but I think they're going to need rewiring,

0:26:02 > 0:26:05- just for safety. - They're very eye-catching.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07I think even with the bit of gold detail, as well.

0:26:07 > 0:26:11- They're not like a flat black. - Now, can I tempt you on price?

0:26:11 > 0:26:14- I think one thing is it's a set of four.- Is that good?

0:26:14 > 0:26:16- I could struggle with that.- Really?

0:26:16 > 0:26:18A lot of customers get pairs or sets.

0:26:18 > 0:26:21How about, if I said to you

0:26:21 > 0:26:24- 115 per pair.- Right, OK.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27So that's 230 for the four.

0:26:27 > 0:26:31If I took the four, I'm looking at, say,

0:26:31 > 0:26:32200 for the four.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34Ooooh.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38- That's a 30 quid discount. - Or I could just have two.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40Oh, now, you're torturing me, aren't you?

0:26:40 > 0:26:42THEY LAUGH

0:26:42 > 0:26:45- Go on.- Right.- 200.

0:26:45 > 0:26:46- Marvellous.- Lovely.

0:26:46 > 0:26:50First profit is always the best profit.

0:26:51 > 0:26:54With a glowing profit of £110

0:26:54 > 0:26:56for the lamps, David's all lit up,

0:26:56 > 0:26:58but Paul is hot on his heels.

0:26:59 > 0:27:00Do you recognise this helmet?

0:27:00 > 0:27:02It was quite dull, wasn't it,

0:27:02 > 0:27:05but it's taken me about three hours' hard work on a Sunday afternoon

0:27:05 > 0:27:07and a bit of polish and this is the end result.

0:27:07 > 0:27:09Isn't it fantastic?

0:27:09 > 0:27:12I managed to find a plume for an extra fiver,

0:27:12 > 0:27:14so it stands me now at £55.

0:27:14 > 0:27:16But I brought it along to Lewes,

0:27:16 > 0:27:19where Lady Patricia was telling me recently she's going to France.

0:27:19 > 0:27:21And with this being a French fireman's helmet,

0:27:21 > 0:27:22it might be just down her alley.

0:27:22 > 0:27:26C'est magnifique, n'est pas? Fire!

0:27:26 > 0:27:27Madame, ca va?

0:27:27 > 0:27:30I have come across this wonderful fireman's helmet,

0:27:30 > 0:27:33which is from a place called De Chace,

0:27:33 > 0:27:35which I think is in the south of France.

0:27:35 > 0:27:40And it says Sapeurs Pompiers, which is the fire service of De Chace.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42So, this particular one dates from the First World War.

0:27:42 > 0:27:44I think it's about 1917.

0:27:44 > 0:27:47So what is it about these sort of helmets that you like?

0:27:47 > 0:27:50- Is there a good market for them here?- Yes, there is.

0:27:50 > 0:27:52It's a good market, cos it's not only just a collectors market.

0:27:52 > 0:27:55Most people nowadays are going to parties

0:27:55 > 0:27:56where they're wearing fancy dress.

0:27:56 > 0:28:00Well, if the hat fits, as they say. I'm delighted that you like it.

0:28:00 > 0:28:01Is there a bit of profit in it for me?

0:28:01 > 0:28:04Is it the sort of thing I could ask you, maybe, £75?

0:28:04 > 0:28:06Would that be overegging it a bit?

0:28:06 > 0:28:08Do I need to wear my helmet for the answer?

0:28:08 > 0:28:10- No, I couldn't do 75.- No?

0:28:10 > 0:28:13- You won't find another one, I don't think, in that...- 60.

0:28:13 > 0:28:15- You can't say 65, give us a tenner on it?- All right.

0:28:15 > 0:28:17Is that all right? I'll even model it for you.

0:28:17 > 0:28:20- How does that sound? £65. - Funnily enough, it fits you.

0:28:20 > 0:28:22It does fit me and that's a good sign,

0:28:22 > 0:28:24cos I've got quite a big head.

0:28:24 > 0:28:26- Shall we shake on that?- Yeah.

0:28:26 > 0:28:29The sale of the fireman's helmet brings in a profit of £10

0:28:29 > 0:28:32and things are getting really tense,

0:28:32 > 0:28:35especially when Paul rushes the ventriloquist's doll in

0:28:35 > 0:28:38for some urgent surgery from expert toy repairer, Paul.

0:28:40 > 0:28:43I've got you, mate. I've got you. Hang on in there. Hang on in there.

0:28:43 > 0:28:47MUSIC: Casualty theme

0:28:48 > 0:28:51- Do you think he'll pull through? - Yes, he'll be as good as new.

0:28:51 > 0:28:53Phew, that's a relief. I'd hate to lose him now,

0:28:53 > 0:28:55after all we've been through.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59With a hospital bill of £10 on top of the £20

0:28:59 > 0:29:01Paul paid for the dummy at the antiques fair,

0:29:01 > 0:29:04he drives his little pal to find a potential buyer,

0:29:04 > 0:29:06in the form of a man renowned as one of the country's

0:29:06 > 0:29:09best loved professional ventriloquists....

0:29:09 > 0:29:10HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

0:29:10 > 0:29:13- ..and his feathered friend. - ORVILLE:- I don't know.- Hello, Keith.

0:29:13 > 0:29:15Hello, Orville, how are you?

0:29:15 > 0:29:18It's Paul, ain't it, off the telly?

0:29:18 > 0:29:20I've seen him! It's exciting!

0:29:20 > 0:29:23Hello, little fella. He doesn't say much.

0:29:23 > 0:29:24He doesn't say much.

0:29:24 > 0:29:27You're supposed to be working him, Paul.

0:29:27 > 0:29:28"Hello, Orville. How are you?"

0:29:28 > 0:29:30I can see your mouth moving.

0:29:30 > 0:29:31He's ugly, in't it?

0:29:31 > 0:29:34- He's not ugly.- Ah?- He's very famous.

0:29:34 > 0:29:38He's Charlie McCarthy, which was a very famous dummy of a fellow called

0:29:38 > 0:29:41Edgar Bergen, who's American, had his own TV show,

0:29:41 > 0:29:45made lots of films and this was his character.

0:29:45 > 0:29:47That's right. I was chatting to the doctor...

0:29:47 > 0:29:48- Is he not real?- No.

0:29:48 > 0:29:51He said that these were sold during the war

0:29:51 > 0:29:54in the 1940s and chances are it came over with the Canadian service

0:29:54 > 0:29:56and ended up over here.

0:29:56 > 0:29:59I must admit, I have come here for a reason, Keith...and Orville.

0:29:59 > 0:30:01I've come to ask you a big favour.

0:30:01 > 0:30:03I've got a very busy schedule at the moment,

0:30:03 > 0:30:06and I haven't got time to look after Charlie,

0:30:06 > 0:30:08and I was wondering if you'd do me the honour,

0:30:08 > 0:30:10if you were able, to buy him for your collection.

0:30:10 > 0:30:12What sort of money are you talking?

0:30:12 > 0:30:15Well, with his restoration and so on,

0:30:15 > 0:30:17if I was to ask you £60...

0:30:17 > 0:30:19£60, I think, yes, he's well worth it,

0:30:19 > 0:30:22because he's very old and he's travelled around.

0:30:22 > 0:30:25- I can use him, can't I? - You can use him and play with him.

0:30:25 > 0:30:28- We can have a conversation. - You could have a conversation.

0:30:28 > 0:30:30Hee-hee!

0:30:30 > 0:30:32- Can I tell you one bad joke? - Go on then.

0:30:32 > 0:30:35Would you like to pay me, or would you like me to put it on your bill?

0:30:35 > 0:30:38- Does that make any... - I don't get it.

0:30:38 > 0:30:40- I don't get it! - Your bill!

0:30:40 > 0:30:43- Oh, my bill!- Yeah!- Ha ha ha!

0:30:43 > 0:30:46- What a load of rubbish.- Sorry!

0:30:47 > 0:30:51Oh, dear. Bad jokes aside, Keith and Orville fly away with the doll

0:30:51 > 0:30:55and Paul doubles his money and flutters off with a profit of £30.

0:30:58 > 0:31:00With only one sale to Paul's three,

0:31:00 > 0:31:03David needs to churn up some serious profit.

0:31:03 > 0:31:05Back in Barnard Castle,

0:31:05 > 0:31:09his devilish master plan is about to be put to the test.

0:31:09 > 0:31:13So then, now let's find out if my big, secret weapon of taking

0:31:13 > 0:31:17a shopping list with me whilst antique hunting is going to pay off.

0:31:17 > 0:31:22Here we have a lovely 19th-century or earlier cheese press,

0:31:22 > 0:31:25very much a cheese-related thing for a cheese shop.

0:31:25 > 0:31:29I'm hoping it's going to find a new home.

0:31:29 > 0:31:33He's meeting shop owner Anne, who he had in mind all along.

0:31:34 > 0:31:38- Now, it's all about cheese here, Anne, isn't it?- It is, absolutely.

0:31:38 > 0:31:41Well, I'm going to show you then something really cheesy.

0:31:41 > 0:31:43Interesting, tell me about it.

0:31:43 > 0:31:46Right, it's at least 19th-century,

0:31:46 > 0:31:50but what it is is the base of a cheese press.

0:31:50 > 0:31:54- Right, right. - A Spanish one...- Oh, right.

0:31:54 > 0:31:59..made out of a fruit wood, possibly a walnut, very heavy,

0:31:59 > 0:32:02gorgeous colour, handmade, and you can imagine the size...

0:32:02 > 0:32:06- Well, you can imagine the size of that cheese, can't you?- Definitely.

0:32:06 > 0:32:09You can tell it's Spanish because...

0:32:09 > 0:32:12look at the markings on the Manchego top.

0:32:12 > 0:32:17- My gosh, hello, let's have a look at that.- They are exactly the same.

0:32:17 > 0:32:20- Right, OK, got you. - Obviously on a smaller scale.

0:32:20 > 0:32:24So, although it's a cheese press, if you turn it over,

0:32:24 > 0:32:27I reckon that would make a fantastic...

0:32:27 > 0:32:30- It would make a fantastic cheeseboard.- ..cheeseboard.

0:32:30 > 0:32:32It lends itself to cheeseboard.

0:32:32 > 0:32:36- I think half the battle is won, isn't it? Because you love it...- I do, yes.

0:32:36 > 0:32:38It fits in here perfectly.

0:32:38 > 0:32:40But you know where the stumbling block might come?

0:32:40 > 0:32:42Because I might want £2,000 for that, you don't know.

0:32:42 > 0:32:46- I might want it for free seeing as it's my birthday.- Is it?

0:32:46 > 0:32:48- Yes, it is. - Aw, bless! Happy birthday!

0:32:48 > 0:32:50Right, I'm going to give you a birthday treat.

0:32:50 > 0:32:53I'm going to reduce the price. How about if I said 65?

0:32:53 > 0:32:57- What about 60?- Go on then, seeing as it's your birthday.

0:32:57 > 0:32:59- Happy birthday. - Thank you very much.

0:32:59 > 0:33:02Happy new cheeseboard. Always lovely, lovely to see you.

0:33:02 > 0:33:06Normally Paul Hayes does the cheese. Not today.

0:33:07 > 0:33:10So, David's crafty buying to order plan successfully adds

0:33:10 > 0:33:13a wedge of £30 to his profit plate.

0:33:16 > 0:33:18Both of our plucky experts are halfway through this

0:33:18 > 0:33:22sensational symphony of selling, so it's time to find out who's

0:33:22 > 0:33:25blowing their own trumpet and who's playing piano in the dark.

0:33:28 > 0:33:34So far, devilish David has done two deals, racking up a profit of £140.

0:33:34 > 0:33:39Paul has sold three items, but has only made £78 so far.

0:33:40 > 0:33:42But this is still anyone's game,

0:33:42 > 0:33:45as our two vigorous virtuosos have plenty more playing

0:33:45 > 0:33:49and profiteering to do before the final curtain.

0:33:49 > 0:33:52Sharp-edged David draws level with Paul

0:33:52 > 0:33:55when he cuts a £60 profit after selling the Victorian knife

0:33:55 > 0:33:59sharpener to a couple who snapped it up for their holiday home.

0:34:02 > 0:34:05And David continues his super selling streak

0:34:05 > 0:34:07when he hunts down a potential buyer who he thinks will be

0:34:07 > 0:34:12the perfect target for the imitation mediaeval shields that cost £50.

0:34:13 > 0:34:17I did some research at home, and I found a mediaeval re-enactment

0:34:17 > 0:34:20group who are performing here today in Retford in Nottinghamshire,

0:34:20 > 0:34:24who might well be interested in buying my mediaeval shields.

0:34:27 > 0:34:29So, you're dressed like the fellow I think

0:34:29 > 0:34:31I'm supposed to be looking for. Simon?

0:34:31 > 0:34:33Obviously I want to show you the shields,

0:34:33 > 0:34:35but it looks like you're all getting ready to get into the arena,

0:34:35 > 0:34:37so shall I wait until you boys are finished?

0:34:37 > 0:34:40- Well, we've some spare kit if you're willing to have a go.- Really?

0:34:40 > 0:34:42- Yeah.- Like what?

0:34:42 > 0:34:44Unfortunately, our lord's not here today, so we need an extra lord.

0:34:44 > 0:34:46I don't think that will be a problem for me,

0:34:46 > 0:34:48I've always fancied being a lord.

0:34:48 > 0:34:49In fact, I think I deserve to be a lord.

0:34:49 > 0:34:54David disappears to don his royal robes, then emerges

0:34:54 > 0:34:56Lord Harper, Earl of Profitdom.

0:34:56 > 0:34:58Looks more like Baldrick.

0:34:58 > 0:35:02Thank you all, my people. Marvellous people they are.

0:35:02 > 0:35:03Laisser-aller!

0:35:05 > 0:35:07Come on, Lord Adam!

0:35:13 > 0:35:17Oh, no. That's our man down there.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Well, Sir Simon, that was pretty impressive stuff, I've got to say.

0:35:20 > 0:35:22Thank you. I've cooled down a bit now.

0:35:22 > 0:35:25Now, the shields you were using weren't quite like these.

0:35:25 > 0:35:27I can tell by the shape and size of the shields,

0:35:27 > 0:35:30- these were probably used for jousting.- Ah, right.

0:35:30 > 0:35:33I think probably more likely they've been used for wall hangings

0:35:33 > 0:35:34- or something similar.- Right.

0:35:34 > 0:35:36Now, can I tempt you, Sir Simon?

0:35:36 > 0:35:38What would you say would be the right price?

0:35:40 > 0:35:42I think, because of the style of the shields

0:35:42 > 0:35:47and what they're used for, I'd probably look somewhere around £10?

0:35:49 > 0:35:51- For the lot.- What?! For the lot?!

0:35:51 > 0:35:54What about all your servants, Sir Simon, they could have one.

0:35:54 > 0:35:57- 25 quid a go, guys. - What do you think?

0:35:57 > 0:36:01Can I tempt you just to buy one? You need a memento from Lord Harper.

0:36:01 > 0:36:05- 25 quid for one.- I think you could persuade us for one.

0:36:05 > 0:36:09- Shall we go, 25 quid for one?- I think that's a fair deal.- Marvellous.

0:36:09 > 0:36:12OK, Mr Morecambe, that wasn't great, I'll admit,

0:36:12 > 0:36:15on the profit stakes, but this is a long war.

0:36:15 > 0:36:18So, brave Sir David only managed to sell one shield

0:36:18 > 0:36:20to the re-enactment group.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23Undaunted and driven by a need for profit,

0:36:23 > 0:36:26he hits the phones until he finds a dealer who'll take the rest

0:36:26 > 0:36:32off his hands for £100, and he's delighted with a profit of £75.

0:36:34 > 0:36:38While David is selling like an unstoppable tornado,

0:36:38 > 0:36:42Paul buckles down to business and tracks down brooch connector Mably.

0:36:42 > 0:36:46Selling her the Edwardian art nouveau buckle for £40,

0:36:46 > 0:36:48snapping up a neat £15 profit.

0:36:52 > 0:36:55But David steps up to the crease as he prepares to sell

0:36:55 > 0:37:00his final crucial item the 1930s cricket book that cost him £20.

0:37:00 > 0:37:03He's brought it to Barnard Castle Cricket club

0:37:03 > 0:37:05and hopes to hit it for six

0:37:05 > 0:37:08by selling it to long-standing member John.

0:37:09 > 0:37:11Well, thanks for meeting me, John.

0:37:11 > 0:37:12What about this, have you ever

0:37:12 > 0:37:15- heard of Cecil Parkin? - Cecil Parkin no.

0:37:15 > 0:37:20- A 1930s and 1920s cricketer, famous in his day.- OK.

0:37:20 > 0:37:24He wrote this book, I think it was published in 1936,

0:37:24 > 0:37:28so it's kind of a bit of a humorous look, his life story,

0:37:28 > 0:37:33a tour of Australia, a real snapshot of cricket in the '20s and '30s.

0:37:33 > 0:37:36Now, is this the kind of thing that might suit you for the clubhouse?

0:37:36 > 0:37:40It might well be, yes. We have a little cabinet there,

0:37:40 > 0:37:42we've got some 1930s fixture cards in there.

0:37:42 > 0:37:45Well, I think it's worth anywhere between 30 and 40 quid.

0:37:45 > 0:37:47What do you feel?

0:37:47 > 0:37:50- Maybe 20 quid, we could... - That's a bit rotten, isn't it?

0:37:50 > 0:37:53- I tell you what, what about a challenge?- OK.

0:37:53 > 0:37:56- I'll bowl one over against you, six balls.- Right.

0:37:56 > 0:37:58If I can bowl you out, you pay 40 -

0:37:58 > 0:38:03and don't worry, that's going to be very unlikely -

0:38:03 > 0:38:05- if you knock a six... - Yes, which is highly unlikely.

0:38:05 > 0:38:07..you pay 30.

0:38:08 > 0:38:12And if neither of us perform very well, we just agree 35, how's that?

0:38:12 > 0:38:13- OK, sounds good. - Are you up for that?

0:38:13 > 0:38:15- I'm up for that. - Love a bit of a challenge.

0:38:15 > 0:38:18David's certainly a good sport when it comes to making money.

0:38:18 > 0:38:20OK. Here we go.

0:38:20 > 0:38:25And the crowd is hushed as Harper runs in to bowl his first ball.

0:38:25 > 0:38:27Oh, and he's actually not bad.

0:38:27 > 0:38:29Second bowl, oh dear, it's wide.

0:38:30 > 0:38:33Third bowl. And the sweet sound of leather on willow.

0:38:33 > 0:38:35Good fielding!

0:38:35 > 0:38:37John really wants to hit it for six.

0:38:37 > 0:38:40We're looking at 35 quid at the moment, come on.

0:38:40 > 0:38:41Oh, it's like watching Botham.

0:38:41 > 0:38:44Give him a place on the England team.

0:38:44 > 0:38:45Final one.

0:38:48 > 0:38:50Oh, look at it soar!

0:38:50 > 0:38:52- Oh, bad luck.- Halfway.

0:38:52 > 0:38:55- 35 quid, yes?- 35 quid.

0:38:55 > 0:38:56Marvellous.

0:38:56 > 0:38:58So, David fails to bowl John out,

0:38:58 > 0:39:03but he still hits a whacking profit of £15 and he's all sold up.

0:39:03 > 0:39:06Even though David didn't perform well in the cricket,

0:39:06 > 0:39:10he's certainly giving it his all in this epic contest.

0:39:10 > 0:39:14Paul will soon have to face the music, but not before an encore,

0:39:14 > 0:39:18as it's time to sell his final item the electric guitar.

0:39:19 > 0:39:21Paul badly needs to crank up the volume

0:39:21 > 0:39:25if he's going to use the guitar to sing for his supper.

0:39:25 > 0:39:28Mr Morecambe soon comes up with a masterly plan of how to

0:39:28 > 0:39:30increase its value and hot-foots to Liverpool,

0:39:30 > 0:39:34where there's a get-together of some of the greatest names

0:39:34 > 0:39:36of the Merseybeat scene.

0:39:36 > 0:39:38Obviously I am a big rock 'n' roll fan, a big music fan,

0:39:38 > 0:39:42and I've come to The Green Room in Liverpool, and I've come

0:39:42 > 0:39:45to get this guitar signed by some of the Merseybeat legends of the day.

0:39:45 > 0:39:50I have none other than the fabulous rhythm guitarist, vocalist,

0:39:50 > 0:39:53- from The Undertakers, Mr Jeff Nugent. Hi, Jeff.- Hi, Paul.

0:39:53 > 0:39:54- How are you, mate?- Not so bad.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57Would you do me the honour of being the first person, Jeff,

0:39:57 > 0:40:01to sign this guitar as a history of the whole Merseybeat movement?

0:40:01 > 0:40:02Sign where you like, mate.

0:40:04 > 0:40:07Paul works his magic and gets signatures from Merseybeat bands

0:40:07 > 0:40:11The Undertakers, The Hideaways and The Dominos.

0:40:12 > 0:40:15I might even sign the back myself. How do you spell Paul?

0:40:17 > 0:40:18Caught up with rock 'n' roll fever,

0:40:18 > 0:40:21Paul can't resist taking to the stage with The Hideaways.

0:40:29 > 0:40:32With the guitar signed by some of the legends

0:40:32 > 0:40:34of the 1960s Merseybeat scene,

0:40:34 > 0:40:38Paul now targets a place synonymous with that era The Cavern.

0:40:38 > 0:40:43His plan is to sell the collector's item to entertainment director John.

0:40:43 > 0:40:45Here we are then, John,

0:40:45 > 0:40:47- we spoke about this beauty on the phone.- We certainly did.

0:40:47 > 0:40:49It is a beauty, as well.

0:40:49 > 0:40:52As you can see, it's full of autographs and signatures,

0:40:52 > 0:40:54and they are all relating to what I regard as some of the most

0:40:54 > 0:40:57important Merseybeat bands of the period.

0:40:57 > 0:41:00You're looking late 1950s into the late 1960s.

0:41:00 > 0:41:02I mean, the guys you're talking about,

0:41:02 > 0:41:05they were the bedrock of Merseybeat.

0:41:05 > 0:41:08You know, this is fantastic, what you've done.

0:41:08 > 0:41:10But, will John want to pay a fantastic enough price

0:41:10 > 0:41:14to give Paul a chance against some devilish work from David?

0:41:14 > 0:41:16All will soon be revealed.

0:41:18 > 0:41:23Both our battling boys had £750 of their own money to spend.

0:41:23 > 0:41:28David made five antiques fair purchases and spent a total of £270.

0:41:29 > 0:41:32Paul also bought five items but spent more £372,

0:41:32 > 0:41:35including restoration costs.

0:41:36 > 0:41:41But the only thing that matters now is who has made the most profit.

0:41:41 > 0:41:43All of the money that David and Paul have made from today's

0:41:43 > 0:41:46challenge will be going to charities of their choice.

0:41:46 > 0:41:49So, now it's time to find out who is today's

0:41:49 > 0:41:52Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is champion.

0:41:52 > 0:41:53- Hello, David.- Hey, Paul.

0:41:53 > 0:41:55- Are you well? - Very well, how did it go?

0:41:55 > 0:41:57This one was really good, actually, I enjoyed it, did you?

0:41:57 > 0:41:59Brilliant. Antiques fairs, come on.

0:41:59 > 0:42:03What I loved is the variety. I bought a ventriloquist dummy.

0:42:03 > 0:42:05I brought it along to two celebrities,

0:42:05 > 0:42:08one being Keith Harris, the other one being Orville!

0:42:08 > 0:42:09And what about yourself?

0:42:09 > 0:42:12Lots of interesting things - a cricket book,

0:42:12 > 0:42:15took it to Barnard Castle Cricket club, and I bowled a cricket ball

0:42:15 > 0:42:19for the first time since I was at school, so that was good.

0:42:19 > 0:42:22And the five shields I was Lord Harper.

0:42:22 > 0:42:25- Well, we all know that anyway.- Of course you do.- Sorry, your Majesty.

0:42:25 > 0:42:27- Are you ready?- Yes, I'm ready.

0:42:27 > 0:42:29- I'm quite positive about this one. - Good luck.- Hopefully.

0:42:29 > 0:42:30Three, two, one...

0:42:32 > 0:42:34- Oh!- Come on!- Good man!

0:42:34 > 0:42:35Well done you!

0:42:35 > 0:42:39That was the guitar, what I managed to do was get The Dominos...

0:42:40 > 0:42:43So, Paul is crowned the Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

0:42:43 > 0:42:47champion after making a massive £300 profit on the guitar,

0:42:47 > 0:42:49which he sold for £500.

0:42:51 > 0:42:53Shall we twist and shake, or just shake?

0:42:54 > 0:42:56Do you know what? It's been an honour and a pleasure

0:42:56 > 0:42:59to get all those signatures on that guitar,

0:42:59 > 0:43:02and it's nice that that will live forever now in recognition,

0:43:02 > 0:43:04really, of those wonderful Merseybeat bands,

0:43:04 > 0:43:07and it was even better to get one over David.

0:43:07 > 0:43:09Well, some good profits for me there,

0:43:09 > 0:43:13but well and truly thrashed by Paul, so well done him.

0:43:13 > 0:43:17And really clever, too, using the guitar in the way that he did.

0:43:17 > 0:43:20Yes, David may have lost today, but there's all to play for

0:43:20 > 0:43:21tomorrow as our duelling dealers

0:43:21 > 0:43:24fight it out at an auction in Gloucestershire.

0:43:45 > 0:43:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd