0:00:02 > 0:00:04As a boy, I should have been very happy. I loved my toys.
0:00:04 > 0:00:10Boyish things - mechanical and constructional stuff demanding spatial logic and ingenuity.
0:00:10 > 0:00:13All would have been well, had I been left in peace.
0:00:13 > 0:00:19But first, I shared my childhood with an elder sister and then later another one came along!
0:00:19 > 0:00:23I was the filling in an unsavoury sister sandwich, and barely a day passed
0:00:23 > 0:00:29without the horrors of their namby-pamby toys interfering with my play time.
0:00:48 > 0:00:53I'd like to say right from the start that I was a good brother.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56And most of the time, my sisters and I played together very happily.
0:00:56 > 0:01:02As a very small boy, I indulged my big sister by joining her dolls tea parties.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07I think he was a willing participant because there was always food.
0:01:07 > 0:01:10James and I would actually eat something
0:01:10 > 0:01:15and I'd have to pretend with my dolls that they were eating and I used to put the cakes up to their mouths.
0:01:15 > 0:01:20I taught my little sister to respect her elders.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23He once pretended to throw my teddy off a boat.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26We must have been going on a ferry somewhere.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28I think he held it over the side,
0:01:28 > 0:01:31and then brought his hand back without it being there,
0:01:31 > 0:01:35but put it down somewhere and then came back and went, "Oh, I dropped it!" I went mental.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Like generations of children before us, toys defined our lives.
0:01:42 > 0:01:47Especially at Christmas, when toy-driven euphoria reached something like fever pitch.
0:01:47 > 0:01:51NEWSREEL: The windows are powerful magnets that lure the kids inside
0:01:51 > 0:01:54to get a close up of all the marvellous things on sale
0:01:54 > 0:01:56in this enchanted world of Christmas presents.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Some toys delighted all three of us. Lego, for example.
0:02:03 > 0:02:08My little sister would suck the bricks, I'd make something like an aeroplane,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11and then my big sister would make a hospital.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13And how boring is that?
0:02:13 > 0:02:14Good for dive bombing though.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19James!
0:02:19 > 0:02:23As a little boy, I wasn't concerned with the politics of sex.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27I probably barely realised there was a difference between girls and boys.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30But my sisters' toys reveal that there was.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35Their toys actually tell us something about the history of this nation.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38And more importantly, its womanhood.
0:02:39 > 0:02:41Let's begin at the beginning
0:02:41 > 0:02:44when Britain was an industrial superpower.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Men were men and women stayed indoors.
0:02:46 > 0:02:52The only evidence that the two sexes had anything to do with each other was the odd baby.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55The main problem with babies is one of weight.
0:02:55 > 0:03:00They are very heavy to carry. They move about a lot, apparently.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02And they leak...down your arm.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05So perambulators were invented.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09One Yorkshire company cannily named its prams after royal palaces
0:03:09 > 0:03:11and an early celebrity brand was born.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Every mother in the land wanted one
0:03:13 > 0:03:15and so did all their daughters.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Silver Cross got to work.
0:03:18 > 0:03:23And the result was this - a perfectly scaled replica of its popular Balmoral model,
0:03:23 > 0:03:29renowned for its springy suspension, its elegant paintwork and its very sturdy chassis.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34All this just to push that piece of plastic around! What a waste!
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Because for my money, and for that of any self-respecting schoolboy,
0:03:38 > 0:03:43there was, is, and only ever will be one good use for a pram.
0:03:43 > 0:03:49And it's this - to plunder it for the parts needed to make a go-kart.
0:03:52 > 0:03:57So, here's the plan. A boys' school and a girls' school are going to compete against each other
0:03:57 > 0:04:00to see who can make the best go-kart out of the toy pram.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03In the boys' corner, a boys' grammar school.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07And in the girls' corner, a girls' high school.
0:04:07 > 0:04:08Here is your pram.
0:04:08 > 0:04:14The rules are very simple - you must use as much of this as possible, but especially the wheels.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18You must have functioning steering, you must have a working brake.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20No engines or motors or anything like that.
0:04:20 > 0:04:27- And you have to nominate a team of two - one to drive and one to push off. Any questions?- No.
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Sure?- Yep.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30Off you go.
0:04:43 > 0:04:48Have any of you ever built a go-kart before?
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Not a go-kart, but we've designed an electric racing car.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54- Have you?- Yes. In school.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- What, and built it?- Yeah.
0:04:56 > 0:05:01In the olden days, few girls would have dreamt of building a go-kart.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05I built one, but my sisters didn't. And I didn't expect them to.
0:05:05 > 0:05:09Boys and girls did different things from one another back then.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13In school, for instance, boys did woodwork, metalwork and engineering.
0:05:13 > 0:05:18Girls did domestic science, housework and cleaning.
0:05:18 > 0:05:23It wasn't until the '70s that the old barriers began to tumble and then only slowly.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25Presumably you've built go-karts before?
0:05:25 > 0:05:29I've built a sledge, which is pretty similar, except without wheels.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32- Is that cos you couldn't find any wheels?- Yeah.
0:05:32 > 0:05:38I'm staggered that you can stand there as a man and tell the world you've never built a go-kart!
0:05:38 > 0:05:40But we've built one now!
0:05:40 > 0:05:43- Which, is essentially... - Only cos somebody told you to!
0:05:45 > 0:05:48Are you confident in your design?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Actually... Yeah, I am. You have to be.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57One of the things I was always taught at school was that when you paint,
0:05:57 > 0:06:00the brush should never actually leave the surface.
0:06:00 > 0:06:06Look at that! You young people - you just don't know anything!
0:06:09 > 0:06:11That's beautifully painted now.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You're still lifting the bristles off the surface!
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- I'm sorry!- It's probably...
0:06:17 > 0:06:20I don't know, 30, 35 years since I last built a go-kart.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24Bet I could still do it, though.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27But why bother when there's a factory down the road that can do it?
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Silver Cross produce 4,000 of these toy prams a year.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33They're hand-built and hand-painted.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36So my go-kart should look pretty pukka.
0:06:36 > 0:06:42When this model was introduced in the 1920s, it was actually made out of wood.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46But then, during the Second World War,
0:06:46 > 0:06:50the pram factory was commandeered to make aluminium panels for Spitfires.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53And after the war, they thought, well, we like the aluminium.
0:06:53 > 0:06:58It's light, and its strong and so - they stuck with it.
0:06:58 > 0:07:02And the great thing about this is, if we have another war,
0:07:02 > 0:07:06you can simply hand the pram in and they can make it back into a Spitfire!
0:07:06 > 0:07:12But back to OUR war - the day of the girl-boy go-kart battle dawns.
0:07:12 > 0:07:17The 300 metre course awaits.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19This is the start line.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24There is another line down here, marked in black tape, this is the limit of push-off.
0:07:24 > 0:07:30Shortly after the starting line is their first obstacle to manoeuvre - the cattle grid.
0:07:30 > 0:07:35Closely followed by a bio hazard - two kilos of horse manure.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39This is the chicane - it's made out of old tractor tyres.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43The point of it is it is a test of braking efficiency and control.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46This blue bollard marks the position of egg-gate.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Its two rows of eggs extending from each side of the track,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54with a gap in the middle which is just a few inches wider than the kart.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57If they hit an egg, it's a two second penalty.
0:07:57 > 0:08:00And finally - the finish line.
0:08:00 > 0:08:05Beyond which, in case of brake fade, is the hay bale wall of destruction.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08The teams will take it in turns to race against the clock.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11'They will have three attempts. Best average time wins.'
0:08:11 > 0:08:12Your call.
0:08:12 > 0:08:17- Heads.- It's tails. First or second?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- Second.- It's you.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Come on, girls!
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Good call!
0:08:24 > 0:08:28The girls' kart is built around the principle of sturdiness and weight
0:08:28 > 0:08:31and features an impressively engineered steering system.
0:08:31 > 0:08:36A few final preparations, and then the girls position their kart on the start line.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Five...four...three...two...
0:08:40 > 0:08:43one...go!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49Crikey! They're off to a good start! They are really karting down there!
0:08:49 > 0:08:53Coming up now to the first obstacle - the cattle grid.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Whoa! Yes, they are through there!
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Past the bio hazard...
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Approaching egg-gate now.
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Yes! They are clear through there with no breakages.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Now what about the chicane?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Yes, good manoeuvring!
0:09:07 > 0:09:09THEY CHEER
0:09:11 > 0:09:15After two more runs, the girls record an average of 57.9 seconds.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Not that I'm telling them that.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20No, they will have to wait until the boys have raced.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24And although their cart is a simpler and lighter affair,
0:09:24 > 0:09:27history suggests that genetic engineering will be the key.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Five...four...three...two...
0:09:31 > 0:09:33one...go!
0:09:35 > 0:09:39Oh dear! The men show a slight lack of commitment at the start.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42That looks slightly less wussy.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45The cattle grid! Oh yes, that's good.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Hang on - there's something not quite right with that wheel!
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Oh, for Pete's sake!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00What have you done?
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Wrecked the whole thing! We were bossing it then as well!
0:10:04 > 0:10:08- So you've completely demolished one wheel?- Maybe two!
0:10:08 > 0:10:11You leaden-footed buffoons!
0:10:11 > 0:10:16Listen, you are representing blokes in this and you're...
0:10:16 > 0:10:20crap! Well, on the basis that they are useless,
0:10:20 > 0:10:24I think it's up to me to defend the male sex in the Silver Cross Bentley.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28- Dah-dah!- Wow!
0:10:28 > 0:10:31- What do you think?- Leather interior!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34That's a belt to hold the bonnet on. It has suspension - see?
0:10:34 > 0:10:37That handles the brake.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39That is the pushing off handle.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42- Cool.- Are you going to fit in that?
0:10:42 > 0:10:46- I do fit in that, yes. - That's some engineering!
0:10:46 > 0:10:47It's good, isn't it?
0:10:47 > 0:10:54In my lucky crash helmet, I enter the Bentley and muster the courage of a ten-year-old boy.
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Five...four...three...two...
0:10:57 > 0:10:59one...go!
0:11:09 > 0:11:14There's the manure! Oooh!
0:11:14 > 0:11:18I lost control! More speed!
0:11:18 > 0:11:21Through the eggs - missed!
0:11:23 > 0:11:30'Now, I hate racing drivers' excuses, but that was a useless push-off by a traitor to his sex!
0:11:30 > 0:11:34'Still, maybe using my head will help propel me a bit further.'
0:11:34 > 0:11:36I use the mass of my head as a pendulum.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47CHEERING
0:11:47 > 0:11:50Well, that didn't go quite as well as I'd expected!
0:11:50 > 0:11:53But after another two runs, I consult the race official.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56How did I do?
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Average time - 59 seconds!
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Oh ho ho!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Cos I know your average time - 57.9.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09- Yay! Whooo!- But...
0:12:09 > 0:12:15- I think my go-kart looked more stylish than yours.- No!- It did.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- No.- Would you agree, though, that a go-kart is more fun than a pram?
0:12:18 > 0:12:22- Yes.- No.- Who said no?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- Me!- You'd rather have the pram?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Yeah.- Why?- Cos it's more girlie!
0:12:26 > 0:12:29Ladies and gentlemen - a proper girl.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36And back in the '50s and '60s, girls were proper girls.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39My elder sister Jane and her friends played with their dolls endlessly.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I never played with them. I was a boy!
0:12:42 > 0:12:43We did not do the same things.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46There is a long tradition of girls' toys and boys' toys.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Some say it's nurture, some say it's nature.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52Right-thinking people like me know it's somewhere between the two.
0:12:52 > 0:13:00Feeding, changing nappies - it's horrible! Ask any woman how this could possibly be a game!
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Yet every generation of little girls falls for it!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Once children enter the world,
0:13:05 > 0:13:10they are treated very differently, depending on whether they are a girl or a boy.
0:13:10 > 0:13:15And right away, people start to buy different toys for girls and for boys.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19So just imagine, for instance, what happens when a boy picks up a doll.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23My little boy, he likes playing with dolls prams, things like that.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26But if my husband saw it... no chance.
0:13:27 > 0:13:33One approach we've taken is to look at another species - vervet monkeys.
0:13:33 > 0:13:38We brought toys into enclosures and what we found was that,
0:13:38 > 0:13:43like human children, the male monkeys spent more time with the cars.
0:13:43 > 0:13:48And like girls, the female monkeys spent more time with the dolls.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53One thing this suggests to me is that these toy preferences,
0:13:53 > 0:13:59although they are socially influenced, aren't entirely determined by society.
0:13:59 > 0:14:03No amount of social conditioning would ever have made me
0:14:03 > 0:14:08even vaguely interested in playing with this - Tiny Tears.
0:14:08 > 0:14:11It's the doll that redefined dolls.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12And it did that by crying.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14I rest my case.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Baby's name is Tiny Tears. And she's....
0:14:17 > 0:14:19The people who marketed it wanted a flexible doll,
0:14:19 > 0:14:24a 16 inch doll that was more flexible and more lifelike.
0:14:24 > 0:14:29So I was asked to look at that and see whether I could come up with any ideas.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Well, that's how Tiny Tears was born, really.
0:14:31 > 0:14:38# Tiny Tears, Tiny Tears You're my very own baby... #
0:14:38 > 0:14:44I'd seen Tiny Tears in the toy shops and at that time, I didn't have a doll at all.
0:14:44 > 0:14:50My brother was a baby and I'd just gone through the experience of having a baby brother in a pram.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53So I felt as though I related to Tiny Tears.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56And she did things that babies did.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00Tiny Tears is crying because she was wet and had to be bathed.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02This is a Tiny Tears head
0:15:02 > 0:15:05and it has a crying mechanism inside.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07This is the reservoir for water
0:15:07 > 0:15:10and the tubes carry the water to the eyes.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14And the water would come up along the tube into the eye, and it would come out of the face.
0:15:14 > 0:15:20The overflow water would go into the body and that would make the doll wet.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23She was a lovely doll because she is so like a real baby.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26When you lie her down, her little joints allow her
0:15:26 > 0:15:29to sort of flop - her little legs flop and her little arms flop.
0:15:29 > 0:15:32Just like a real little baby going to sleep.
0:15:33 > 0:15:37No study of dolls would be complete without this one - Barbie.
0:15:37 > 0:15:43She first appeared in 1959 and her popularity remains undiminished almost half a century later.
0:15:43 > 0:15:50In fact, it is now reckoned that the global Barbie population is almost a billion!
0:15:50 > 0:15:53With a billion Barbies on the planet,
0:15:53 > 0:15:56I calculated that it would take an eight-year old boy
0:15:56 > 0:16:02317 years of non-stop work to pull all their heads off.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06The success of Barbie lies in that, like Cleopatra,
0:16:06 > 0:16:10she has proved to be a woman - or doll - of infinite variety.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14The role of women in society, and their burgeoning aspirations,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17are mapped out in the way Barbie has reinvented herself.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19Doctor makes her feel great!
0:16:21 > 0:16:25Now, I've never played with Barbie, but I have studied her quite carefully.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28And I can't help noticing that there's something...
0:16:28 > 0:16:30not quite right about her.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35I reckon if you scaled up Barbie's vital stats,
0:16:35 > 0:16:39she would be an impressive 36, 18, 33,
0:16:39 > 0:16:43which all points to one thing - she simply wouldn't be able to stand up.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46Unless she was wearing Action Man's rucksack.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Aaaah!
0:16:52 > 0:16:55Back in the olden days, before plastic was invented,
0:16:55 > 0:16:58toys were made of honest materials like wood and wool,
0:16:58 > 0:17:04their honeyed tones enlivened only occasionally with a splash of red, yellow or green.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08But then, in the 1970s, the whole world of being a girl
0:17:08 > 0:17:11was infected with a terrible parasite. It was...
0:17:11 > 0:17:13the colour pink.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16# Sweets for my sweet... #
0:17:16 > 0:17:20If you're a boy and you go into a toy store and a whole part of that department is pink,
0:17:20 > 0:17:22you know you do not go there.
0:17:22 > 0:17:29But go there I must if I'm ever to understand the formative years of the mind of woman.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I was once given a pink shirt, which I've never worn.
0:17:32 > 0:17:37It's not a macho thing, I just really don't like the colour pink.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40So I've come here to confront this particular chromatic demon.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43# Sweets for my sweet Sugar for my honey... #
0:17:46 > 0:17:47I'm sorry, but that is hideous!
0:17:47 > 0:17:51And in my England, that would be outlawed.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54In Victorian times, pink was for boys.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58And even into the 20th century, pink was considered a boys' colour.
0:17:58 > 0:18:01The symbols we have for things are purely conventional.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05They are learned and handed down. Pink for girls, blue for boys.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09If everything you do from your baby clothes through your toys to your teddy bears
0:18:09 > 0:18:11is coded that way, it becomes part of your life.
0:18:11 > 0:18:15TOY SINGS "MY LITTLE PONY" JINGLE IN BABY VOICE
0:18:17 > 0:18:20What is the pink thing? What's it about?
0:18:20 > 0:18:24Little girls absolutely love pink, sparkle, flutter, glitter.
0:18:24 > 0:18:28I don't know, it could be associated with fairies,
0:18:28 > 0:18:32angels, butterflies, anything of that variety sells enormously well.
0:18:32 > 0:18:36And does pink sell better than yellow, say?
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Absolutely. They definitely go towards the pink spectrum.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44Even lilac and white with specks of pink won't sell as well as pink.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45- Pure pink is it?- Is it.
0:18:45 > 0:18:50Well then, I'm as confused and nauseated as when I arrived.
0:18:50 > 0:18:54I simply don't get it. But here's where the backlash begins.
0:18:56 > 0:19:01Fortunately, most girls grow out of pink and baby stuff.
0:19:01 > 0:19:07But only to move on to the next phase of female evolution, which is emulating their big sisters
0:19:07 > 0:19:10and their mums, putting on make-up and doing their hair.
0:19:10 > 0:19:18'60s designer Les Cook went to the New York Toy Fair looking for inspiration for a new kind of doll.
0:19:18 > 0:19:24On the way home, he looked in a department store window, where he spotted a mannequin's head.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Eureka! He realised that a whole new doll wasn't necessary at all
0:19:28 > 0:19:32- he could make his fortune out of just a head, mounted on a plinth.
0:19:32 > 0:19:35He called his creation Girl's World.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39It is completely gruesome!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Mummy, look at me!
0:19:41 > 0:19:46Les knew that small girls loved playing with people's hair and fooling around with make-up.
0:19:46 > 0:19:52Trouble is, willing victims are always very hard to come by.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56So here was a severed head that never struggled or complained
0:19:56 > 0:19:58and could be abused for hours on end.
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Genius!
0:20:03 > 0:20:09I did have a Girls' World but I think it must have been my sister's or it was second hand,
0:20:09 > 0:20:11cos when they got older, Girls' World...
0:20:11 > 0:20:14The make-up didn't use to come off so they were already half done.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17And the bit where pushed the button and their hair grew used to get stuck,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19so you'd have a lump of hair sticking out.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23I think I just got to the stage where I used to draw on it with felt tip.
0:20:23 > 0:20:29And the packaging promises that some styles can be easily achieved by anyone over the age of four.
0:20:29 > 0:20:33So it should be a real pushover for a group of eight year olds then.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Right, this afternoon we're going to be looking at this toy here.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Possibly your mums might still have one.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42This is alien territory for me.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47And to understand this toy, I somehow have to get into the head of an eight year-old girl.
0:20:51 > 0:20:54This is Year Four of a primary school,
0:20:54 > 0:21:00and I'm hoping they can give me an insight into what it is about this ghoulish toy that is so appealing.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Now, I'll be honest with you.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06I wear make-up - it's all part of being a media ponce
0:21:06 > 0:21:13- but I've never put make-up on anyone else, and I've never styled any hair...obviously.
0:21:13 > 0:21:20However, there are some instructions so I'll have a go.
0:21:20 > 0:21:25"Push a strand of hair between the bends in the applicator.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27"Slide the beads..."
0:21:27 > 0:21:29'While I attempt to do this by the book,
0:21:29 > 0:21:33'my other classmates tap into some kind of intuition which means
0:21:33 > 0:21:37'they seem to know exactly what to do and how to do it straight away.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39'I'm usually fairly dextrous,
0:21:39 > 0:21:42'I can build fantastic Scalextric circuits,
0:21:42 > 0:21:45'but this thing has utterly defeated me.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48'I've failed the practical and I'm struggling with the concept.'
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Do you think this looks like a real face?
0:21:51 > 0:21:54- No.- It doesn't, does it? But why doesn't it?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56It has green eyebrows.
0:21:56 > 0:21:59Well, we'll soon sort that out cos I can make them red.
0:21:59 > 0:22:05'The doll's appeal clearly has nothing to do with realism, so why do girls like it?'
0:22:05 > 0:22:08I like messing with their hair.
0:22:08 > 0:22:12- So it's the hair bit that you like best?- Yeah. Messing with it.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15How many marks would you give this out of ten as a toy,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18compared with all the other toys you've played with?
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Nine out of ten. - Nine? What about everybody else?
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Nine.- Nine out of ten. - Eight out of ten.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Ten out of ten.- Ten out of ten.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28So you really like it? You really do like it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Cos I think it's really boring.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34That's because you're doing it rubbishly.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Is that what it is? 'So? I never wanted to be a hairdresser anyway.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42'But I wonder - could these ghastly heads be a useful vocational tool?'
0:22:46 > 0:22:52Right, I'm going to give you 30 minutes to turn Girl's World into Miss Girl's World 1975.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Do anything you like. Go!
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Did you ever have one of these when you were small?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- Yeah.- If you hadn't had one of these,
0:23:09 > 0:23:13do you think you'd have still worked in hair and beauty?
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I think it did help. Cos if I didn't have the doll,
0:23:16 > 0:23:19then I wouldn't really know about the hair industry.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21So when I got older, I started looking into hair more.
0:23:21 > 0:23:24So it really is an inspiration to some girls.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26But then I have an egalitarian moment
0:23:26 > 0:23:31and realised that the manufacturer has made a glaring marketing blunder.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34- So you're a bloke.- Yeah. - And you're a hairdresser.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37- Did you ever have Girl's World when you were a kid?- No, never.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40- So you are at a disadvantage. - Yeah, slightly.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Be honest, did you ever practise on the dog, your brother...
0:23:44 > 0:23:48When it was raining and we couldn't go out, maybe on the dog.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53Great. So the boys have got dogs and the girls have got dolls.
0:23:53 > 0:23:58Now, how have our stylists got on with their plastic heads?
0:23:58 > 0:24:02'Variations on the beehive.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04'And a bob?'
0:24:05 > 0:24:08Well, I think we've arrived at a handy career hint
0:24:08 > 0:24:11for all young and aspiring hairdressers and beauticians.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13If you want to get ahead...
0:24:14 > 0:24:16..get a head.
0:24:20 > 0:24:27I had a traditional style doll's house with little cloth people that went inside it.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32My grandparents bought it. I played games and enjoyed putting them to bed.
0:24:32 > 0:24:36Doll's houses. They've been with us for over 500 years.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39And they were never invented for girls to play with at all.
0:24:39 > 0:24:44Originally they were replicas of real houses commissioned by wealthy property owners
0:24:44 > 0:24:46as a way of showing off their posh pads.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Today, a grandiose one could set you back £2,000,
0:24:51 > 0:24:54which is quite steep for a glorified box.
0:24:54 > 0:25:01After World War One, the Royal Family pushed the boundaries of doll's house technology.
0:25:01 > 0:25:06It was given to Queen Mary in 1923 by a group of friends and artists,
0:25:06 > 0:25:13a gesture of national goodwill following the abomination of the '14-'18 war.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17It took 1,500 craftsmen four years to build and furnish.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22When it was displayed at the British Empire Exhibition in 1924,
0:25:22 > 0:25:25over 1.5 million visitors queued up to see it.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30The doll's houses most parents can afford are of course much more modest.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33But even in miniature, their development
0:25:33 > 0:25:37reflects the values and aspirations of tomorrow's owner occupiers.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39This British example is from 1963
0:25:39 > 0:25:43and has come to be seen as something of a design classic.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48Its designer came up with it in response to a social problem.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50At the time, childcare was unheard of,
0:25:50 > 0:25:55so mothers set up their own nurseries in church halls and community centres.
0:25:55 > 0:26:01The open-sided design meant that two or more children could play with it at the same time.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06There was plenty of room for hands and little elbows.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Everything had to be packed away at the end of the day,
0:26:09 > 0:26:13but this could be dismantled and put into a box no bigger than a large book.
0:26:14 > 0:26:21I really like this. It's very tasteful and minimalist and cool in that Scandinavian sort of way.
0:26:21 > 0:26:27And more to the point, it looks remarkably like a toy garage I had when I was a boy.
0:26:29 > 0:26:34For today's little girls, the doll's house experience is something altogether more plastic.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39Take this one. It's the Sylvanian Families rather magnificent gaff.
0:26:40 > 0:26:44These animals in human mufti arrived from Japan in 1987.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47It was Toy of the Year three years running.
0:26:47 > 0:26:52The original name for this mass-produced community was the Calico Critters,
0:26:52 > 0:26:58which is terribly misleading because what we have here is idealised English country life.
0:26:58 > 0:27:04Look at the afternoon tea on the table. And the grand piano.
0:27:04 > 0:27:05It's bizarre!
0:27:06 > 0:27:12But obviously, the most important component in a doll's house is not the house itself or the furnishings
0:27:12 > 0:27:14or the little people who inhabit it.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18It's what's going on in the imagination of the child playing with it.
0:27:18 > 0:27:25This is what worries me. Because what on earth is going on in the mind of someone who plays with this?
0:27:25 > 0:27:29Someone like my little sister, Sarah.
0:27:29 > 0:27:36When I was about five years old, I was given a tree house which was a massive green, plastic monstrosity.
0:27:36 > 0:27:40I absolutely loved it. My brother hated it.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44He thought it was the most disgusting, ugly, hilariously bad toy in the world
0:27:44 > 0:27:47and laughed at me constantly for playing with it.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50The feature that differentiates this doll's house from any other,
0:27:50 > 0:27:54apart from that it's a tree, is this handle on the top.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I can never quite see the point of that.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04I have a bit of an issue with the inside of it as well.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07You see, the child is the same size as the parents
0:28:07 > 0:28:10and the parents are the same size as the dog.
0:28:10 > 0:28:14As an illustration of bad scaling, it's fantastic.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18I think if James had to see one of those green plastic tree houses again,
0:28:18 > 0:28:22he would probably smash it to pieces. He absolutely loathed it.
0:28:22 > 0:28:27This handle is actually the key to understanding the tree house's appeal to girls
0:28:27 > 0:28:30because it makes it a glorified handbag.
0:28:30 > 0:28:35Still, that also makes it a lot easier to take it to a place it's never been to before.
0:28:41 > 0:28:46I'm a bit nervous about this in case it's really, really rubbish, and I used to love it so much.
0:28:46 > 0:28:48SHE GASPS
0:28:51 > 0:28:54Oh, it's fantastic though!
0:28:59 > 0:29:00I wonder if it still works.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03SHE GASPS AND GIGGLES
0:29:10 > 0:29:12Little sister, look away.
0:29:38 > 0:29:41WICKED LAUGHTER ECHOES
0:29:44 > 0:29:49Unlike the tree house, there are one or two toys that I remember only very dimly.
0:29:49 > 0:29:52Fuzzy-Felt is one of them.
0:29:52 > 0:29:54I think I had a couple of goes when I was a small boy,
0:29:54 > 0:29:57but my little sister on the other hand was very much into it.
0:29:57 > 0:30:04And, once again, it relies on the ability to fill in the gaps between the rather crude shapes.
0:30:04 > 0:30:06This, for example,
0:30:06 > 0:30:11is technically two triangles separated by a rhombus.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Or is it a space rocket?
0:30:13 > 0:30:19It's ironic that such a touchy-feely toy owes its very existence to World War Two.
0:30:19 > 0:30:25Whilst our boys were fighting overseas, the women supported the war effort on the home front.
0:30:25 > 0:30:27It was in the garden of this Buckinghamshire house
0:30:27 > 0:30:31that a team of mothers, led by its owner, Lois Allan, made parts for tanks.
0:30:31 > 0:30:38It was while Lois Allan was hard at work making felt tank gaskets like this one that she noticed something.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41The offcuts were very slightly sticky.
0:30:41 > 0:30:44This gave her a brilliant idea.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47When she cut up pieces of felt into shapes
0:30:47 > 0:30:52and put them on the back of a table mat, they stuck there.
0:30:52 > 0:30:59And the children could have fun making shapes and they take them off and make another picture and so on.
0:30:59 > 0:31:03After the war, Lois launched her invention as Fuzzy-Felt.
0:31:03 > 0:31:05It was an instant hit.
0:31:05 > 0:31:11The most successful time for Fuzzy-Felt was in the late '70s.
0:31:11 > 0:31:17We employed 70 odd people and we were producing about 1 million boxes per year.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Fuzzy-Felt was known to be a girl's toy.
0:31:20 > 0:31:25And I know it's a very thin line. You could say, "Oh, there's an art, there's a creativity to Meccano,"
0:31:25 > 0:31:30or something like that. But compared with nicely coloured pieces of felt, boys didn't like it.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32It wasn't somehow chunky enough.
0:31:32 > 0:31:35But also, when you are a boy, there is always another boy,
0:31:35 > 0:31:40real or imaginary, looking over your shoulder saying, "Girls' toy, girls' toy." So you don't do it.
0:31:40 > 0:31:45I suppose it does have a sort of 1950s innocent charm about it, Fuzzy-Felt,
0:31:45 > 0:31:50but I don't know if it can really survive in the modern, sophisticated playroom.
0:31:50 > 0:31:54I wonder what the fuzzy logic of today's eight year-olds would make of it?
0:31:54 > 0:31:57Here's how to find out. Take a box of Fuzzy-Felt to a class of children
0:31:57 > 0:32:01learning animation and give them a picture of me for inspiration.
0:32:01 > 0:32:06So he disappears in his car and he lands on a volcano.
0:32:06 > 0:32:08He gets caught by an octopus.
0:32:08 > 0:32:11A three-headed octopus with 16 legs.
0:32:11 > 0:32:14We could have the zombie octopus like this.
0:32:14 > 0:32:20Then he goes back in time to the dinosaurs,
0:32:20 > 0:32:23smashes into a tree as he comes down.
0:32:24 > 0:32:29He meets an alien and the Devil and he goes back to home.
0:32:29 > 0:32:34Well, with storylines like that, I'm expecting a blockbuster.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40Space.
0:32:40 > 0:32:41At least I think it is.
0:32:41 > 0:32:45And that must be me arriving in my intergalactic pick-up truck.
0:32:45 > 0:32:47With my dog, obviously.
0:32:47 > 0:32:52Oo-er, you're not from the Clangers, are you? Or you.
0:32:52 > 0:32:56I think it might be wise to fuzz off. Rocket? Thank you.
0:32:56 > 0:32:58That was a close one!
0:32:58 > 0:33:02A new planet, a new tractor. Oh, no!
0:33:02 > 0:33:05This one's populated by felt aliens as well.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08I'd better escape when I can through this lightning storm.
0:33:08 > 0:33:11In fact, I hide in this hollow mountain.
0:33:11 > 0:33:17Oh, no, I won't. Better traverse the space-time continuum through my handy time portal.
0:33:17 > 0:33:18Whoa!
0:33:18 > 0:33:22Ah, now, this is much better.
0:33:22 > 0:33:27I think I'll go and have a snooze under this yucca tree.
0:33:27 > 0:33:28Oh, my word!
0:33:28 > 0:33:30- Oh, what...! - MUFFLED SPEECH
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Thanks, kids(!)
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Well, there you go.
0:33:33 > 0:33:37People often say to me, "War - what is it good for?"
0:33:37 > 0:33:39There's your answer. Fuzzy-Felt.
0:33:44 > 0:33:51One toy combined my sister's love of arty stuff with my obsession with technical things. And it was...
0:33:51 > 0:33:52Spirograph.
0:33:52 > 0:33:57It was invented by Yorkshireman Denys Fisher in 1962.
0:33:57 > 0:34:03Fisher earned a living designing improvements in bomb detonation equipment for Nato.
0:34:03 > 0:34:08His spiral graphic product was intended as a drawing tool for industrial companies,
0:34:08 > 0:34:10but he couldn't find any takers.
0:34:10 > 0:34:13So he did what any profit hungry bomb-maker would do.
0:34:13 > 0:34:14He turned it into a toy.
0:34:14 > 0:34:17Now I should have loved this.
0:34:17 > 0:34:23It used epicyclic gears like a Sturmey Archer bicycle hub and it looked impressive.
0:34:23 > 0:34:25The box is very promising.
0:34:25 > 0:34:30It says, "a simple and fascinating way to make a million marvellous patterns".
0:34:30 > 0:34:33But one word in that statement is a bit of a fib to be honest.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37And that word is "simple".
0:34:37 > 0:34:40With a very steady hand, you have to turn the little cogs
0:34:40 > 0:34:43and all the different shapes around it very, very carefully.
0:34:43 > 0:34:48I think James always had more of an eye for detail than me.
0:34:48 > 0:34:53But just when I thought I'd cracked it, a cog would slip and ruin the whole thing.
0:34:53 > 0:34:58I do find it faintly perverse that something intended as a design tool
0:34:58 > 0:35:02should turn out to be so flawed in terms of its own design.
0:35:02 > 0:35:06I never created a single brilliant thing with this.
0:35:06 > 0:35:11But maybe, just maybe, some students can in a place like this.
0:35:11 > 0:35:18'I'm taking Spirograph to a class of art and design students to see if they can conquer its shortcomings.'
0:35:18 > 0:35:22I'd like you to have a go because I don't actually believe that it works.
0:35:22 > 0:35:28'Since they're arty, you would expect this lot to be pretty adept at anything involving a pen.
0:35:32 > 0:35:33'But even they can't do it.'
0:35:37 > 0:35:40- Oh!- Ah!
0:35:40 > 0:35:42What is it that makes it difficult?
0:35:42 > 0:35:48It's really easy to slip. You are kind of looking at the image you want to draw,
0:35:48 > 0:35:53but you also have to think about going round in circles.
0:35:53 > 0:35:56'Which, oddly enough, is how I feel about the instruction manual.
0:35:56 > 0:36:00"Don't be put off if the patterns and the instructions
0:36:00 > 0:36:03"that follow look too difficult for you. They aren't."
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Well, I'm sorry, but they are.
0:36:05 > 0:36:07Look at that.
0:36:07 > 0:36:11No wonder there were so many mass murderers in the '70s.
0:36:11 > 0:36:15'Spirograph went on to become Toy of the Year 1967
0:36:15 > 0:36:17'and, so far, I've no idea why.'
0:36:19 > 0:36:22- How are you doing?- It's not good. - Hang on a minute.
0:36:22 > 0:36:25This may be a television first.
0:36:25 > 0:36:27No, it's definitely...
0:36:27 > 0:36:30No, I can see you did slip there, didn't you?
0:36:30 > 0:36:35You have to half watch the wheel,
0:36:35 > 0:36:41half watch the spiral and half watch yourself.
0:36:41 > 0:36:47'They're as bad as it as I am. But there are artists who do know how to make Spirograph work.'
0:36:50 > 0:36:55Lesley Halliwell, who incidentally was born in the year that Spirograph was invented,
0:36:55 > 0:36:56uses it to create huge artworks.
0:37:01 > 0:37:05It is, she admits, a bit of an obsession.
0:37:09 > 0:37:12There we go - one Spirograph.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16Congratulations.
0:37:16 > 0:37:20I think that may be the first flawless piece of Spirograph in history.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21Right, here we go.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24That's it. Slowly, slowly.
0:37:24 > 0:37:29Steady, slow and steady. You're getting stuck in one place there.
0:37:29 > 0:37:34That's terrible. What happens when you are doing one of those...
0:37:34 > 0:37:38One of your massive ones that we looked at earlier has got 20,000 of these in it.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41What happens if you get near the end and you make a mistake?
0:37:41 > 0:37:44That happens, that's part of the work.
0:37:44 > 0:37:49And if you look closely, you may be able to spot some of those flaws,
0:37:49 > 0:37:53but I think that's part of the human element of the work.
0:37:53 > 0:37:59That means you have, in effect, embraced the fundamental flaw of Spirograph,
0:37:59 > 0:38:02which is that it doesn't really work,
0:38:02 > 0:38:04- and put a positive spin on it.- Yeah.
0:38:04 > 0:38:09A positive twirl. To be honest, I've always thought of Spirograph as a girls' toy
0:38:09 > 0:38:11and boys can't do it, as I've proved.
0:38:11 > 0:38:16It's an interesting thing about the Spirograph, even the language of Spirographs.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20You've got the gears, the wheels, all those different elements.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23- It's the language really of boys, isn't it?- It's techie.
0:38:23 > 0:38:26Yeah. Then on the other side of that,
0:38:26 > 0:38:31you have the pattern that you make is quite floral and possibly girly.
0:38:31 > 0:38:34I was a bit conflicted about it.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36I think children do find...
0:38:36 > 0:38:37Oh, look at that.
0:38:37 > 0:38:39Fantastic!
0:38:39 > 0:38:44I think that is pretty much spot on.
0:38:44 > 0:38:45That's fantastic.
0:38:48 > 0:38:53Now, purists such as Lesley would never interfere with the integrity of the original art tool.
0:38:53 > 0:38:56However, those cunning art and design students reckon
0:38:56 > 0:39:00they've come up with the next big thing in the Spirograph art canon...
0:39:00 > 0:39:01whatever that means.
0:39:01 > 0:39:05'And they've done it by cheating, frankly.
0:39:05 > 0:39:07'That is using a computer.'
0:39:07 > 0:39:11- What have you got there then?- It's an interactive Spirograph piece.
0:39:11 > 0:39:16It has the camera so it can put your face on to the Spirograph.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18- Eh?- Do you want to have a look?
0:39:18 > 0:39:20That's my nostril.
0:39:20 > 0:39:24- And that is my mouth?- Yes. - Is it changing when I speak?
0:39:24 > 0:39:26Yes, it's sound sensitive.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30That's... That's brilliant.
0:39:30 > 0:39:36Has a piece of plastic Spirograph been anywhere near that or have you just done it with a software thing?
0:39:36 > 0:39:43No, we have used a Spirograph, but onto a graphics tablet so it gets drawn straight onto the computer.
0:39:43 > 0:39:48Well, I do have to say this has overcome the elemental flaw of Spirograph,
0:39:48 > 0:39:51which is that it doesn't work. And that does.
0:39:51 > 0:39:57So now it's time to unveil the world's first computer generated,
0:39:57 > 0:40:00voice interactive Spirograph art mural.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03- Whoo! - CHEERING
0:40:07 > 0:40:08Very good.
0:40:17 > 0:40:19Fantastic.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27So you see, Denys Fisher's idea was very good,
0:40:27 > 0:40:30it's just that he left a few things out of the Spirograph set
0:40:30 > 0:40:35- the laptop computer, the art students, the camera, the projector
0:40:35 > 0:40:40and the 1950s preserved historic building. Other than that...spot-on.
0:40:45 > 0:40:48Back in my day, we were happy with a good book.
0:40:48 > 0:40:53In fact, reading was one of the few activities we did together in peace.
0:40:53 > 0:40:57When I was five, my mum took me up to town to join the big library.
0:40:57 > 0:41:02It was there that I discovered the greatest writing in the English language
0:41:02 > 0:41:04- the complete works of Ladybird.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06Ladybird books were a phenomenon.
0:41:06 > 0:41:13By 1973, 20 million copies a year were coming off the printing press in Loughborough.
0:41:13 > 0:41:16We all read Ladybird books. Anybody who read at all
0:41:16 > 0:41:18was probably taught to read on Ladybird books,
0:41:18 > 0:41:21and you branched out from the Peter and Janes,
0:41:21 > 0:41:24which were in the reading scheme, out into the more interesting ones.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27The book's success was the result of a winning formula.
0:41:27 > 0:41:31Each book was the same size, a small format to keep costs low.
0:41:31 > 0:41:34Ladybird books were very recognisable.
0:41:34 > 0:41:38I think when you see them all lined up on a shelf,
0:41:38 > 0:41:41you knew what you were getting.
0:41:41 > 0:41:45Each one had 56 pages and 24 illustrations.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48The price remained the same for 29 years - 2/6.
0:41:48 > 0:41:52The price was good, the subject matter was easy to see,
0:41:52 > 0:41:55there were levels you could take your child through
0:41:55 > 0:41:58and you also knew it was a very safe world.
0:41:58 > 0:42:03Over the years, Ladybird books have sold hundreds of millions of copies,
0:42:03 > 0:42:06and they've been translated into over 60 languages.
0:42:07 > 0:42:10But for most young readers, my sisters and me included,
0:42:10 > 0:42:13the main attraction was the illustrations.
0:42:16 > 0:42:18HE GASPS
0:42:18 > 0:42:20Oh!
0:42:25 > 0:42:28I might get slightly emotional looking at that.
0:42:32 > 0:42:34That has just made me five again.
0:42:36 > 0:42:42The thing that amazes me, I think this is why I got my first Ladybird book, which was this one,
0:42:42 > 0:42:45The Story of Henry "V", as I thought it was.
0:42:45 > 0:42:48It was the picture on the front and then the pictures inside
0:42:48 > 0:42:53that made me say to my mum, "Oh, I want this book." They are staggeringly good illustrations.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55They are true artworks.
0:42:55 > 0:42:58They are not dashed off, they are things of beauty.
0:42:58 > 0:43:01They certainly are, and that's because they were done
0:43:01 > 0:43:04by top dollar commercial artists of the time.
0:43:04 > 0:43:08Many of them did Ladybird as a sideline while working
0:43:08 > 0:43:10for big clients in the Midlands car industry.
0:43:10 > 0:43:15Others illustrated popular boy comics, such as The Eagle.
0:43:15 > 0:43:19We should make an effort to talk about a girls' Ladybird book.
0:43:19 > 0:43:22- Maybe, yes.- I think this was my sister's favourite, Cinderella.
0:43:22 > 0:43:25I may have even read it to her when she was very small.
0:43:25 > 0:43:27Do you have the pictures from this?
0:43:27 > 0:43:29A lovely picture from the front.
0:43:29 > 0:43:35Well, it is very... It's very, very familiar but it doesn't move me in quite the same way
0:43:35 > 0:43:39that the story of flight does, to be brutally honest.
0:43:39 > 0:43:41I can understand that.
0:43:41 > 0:43:45A lot of people find this one incredibly evocative of their youth.
0:43:45 > 0:43:49I think she was modelled on Brigitte Bardot.
0:43:49 > 0:43:54I really loved Ladybird books, particularly the Cinderella, cos I think it was so exciting.
0:43:54 > 0:43:56They were so colourful and vibrant.
0:43:56 > 0:43:59She starts off in rags and then she goes to three different balls
0:43:59 > 0:44:02in the Ladybird book and there are three dresses.
0:44:02 > 0:44:05Every time you turned a page, there was a big pink dress and a sparkly dress.
0:44:05 > 0:44:07It was fantastic.
0:44:07 > 0:44:09And the third dress, the wedding dress.
0:44:09 > 0:44:12That really just made people swoon.
0:44:12 > 0:44:15They wanted dresses like that. Yeah, we have girls here...
0:44:15 > 0:44:18What, more than the picture of the hot air balloon?
0:44:18 > 0:44:21- I think it's quite possible.- Tosh!
0:44:21 > 0:44:23What's your favourite Ladybird book?
0:44:23 > 0:44:25Magnets, Bolts and Batteries, actually.
0:44:25 > 0:44:30- Really?- It shows you how to do dangerous experiments.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32- Did it?- It certainly did.
0:44:32 > 0:44:35I love a particular illustration - here it is.
0:44:35 > 0:44:40Where you're instructed to cut apart a battery
0:44:40 > 0:44:44and then you have to lick some kind of battery device.
0:44:44 > 0:44:46You use your tongue as a conductor.
0:44:46 > 0:44:51And I just don't think you'd be able to do this nowadays!
0:44:51 > 0:44:55I always liked the How It Works series. So did the MoD.
0:44:55 > 0:44:59They had hundreds of copies of the Ladybird Book of the Computer
0:44:59 > 0:45:05printed with plain brown covers so their employees could read it without feeling embarrassed.
0:45:05 > 0:45:08The interesting thing is, even when you're an adult,
0:45:08 > 0:45:11and you think you're well-informed and technically minded,
0:45:11 > 0:45:14a Ladybird book is still the best place to start.
0:45:14 > 0:45:16Oh yeah. They wanted to have a book for every subject.
0:45:16 > 0:45:20And I think they pretty much did it.
0:45:20 > 0:45:25The thing I always admired about the Ladybird books was that there were great social levellers.
0:45:25 > 0:45:28They were for the people. Here is a very old one - Things To Make.
0:45:28 > 0:45:34And it says, "Children can be kept happily and rewardingly occupied for many hours
0:45:34 > 0:45:38"using simple, inexpensive and readily available materials."
0:45:38 > 0:45:41So even if you were poor, you could be happy.
0:45:41 > 0:45:47In fact, if you could rustle up one onion, a pen and some writing paper, your life was complete!
0:45:47 > 0:45:53So let's have a go at making invisible ink for secret messages!
0:45:53 > 0:45:57Cut the onion in half and squeeze the juice into a bowl.
0:45:58 > 0:46:00Urgh!
0:46:00 > 0:46:04It does say in the introduction to the book that these are activities
0:46:04 > 0:46:07that will keep children occupied for hours and hours!
0:46:07 > 0:46:08And I can see why, really.
0:46:08 > 0:46:13"Using this juice as ink, write a message on the paper.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15"Allow it to dry slowly by itself.
0:46:22 > 0:46:28"Now you can astonish your friends by holding the paper close to the heat from a lamp,
0:46:28 > 0:46:31"and your message will appear."
0:46:31 > 0:46:34It's still quite secret, this secret message.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38Maybe you can only read it if you're wearing a tank-top!
0:46:38 > 0:46:42So let's have a go at making a pair of stilts!
0:46:42 > 0:46:46"You will need two syrup tins, a nail for punching holes..."
0:46:46 > 0:46:49Here's one that my dad bought earlier on.
0:46:49 > 0:46:52"Two long pieces of string." Down there.
0:46:52 > 0:46:56First of course, because these are new tins, we have to empty out the syrup.
0:46:57 > 0:47:00Crikey, this could take a while!
0:47:09 > 0:47:12There. People born during the war needn't worry,
0:47:12 > 0:47:16because I'm going to use all of that later to make some delicious flapjacks.
0:47:19 > 0:47:23"First, punch some holes in the side of the tin near the top.
0:47:23 > 0:47:27"Remember to ask a grown-up to help you with this
0:47:27 > 0:47:28"or use round-ended safety nails."
0:47:28 > 0:47:33Of course, when I was a lad, there wasn't any health and safety.
0:47:33 > 0:47:36We used to collect shells on the beach - unexploded ones.
0:47:36 > 0:47:40"Next, thread a piece of string through both holes
0:47:40 > 0:47:44"of one tin and tie the ends together so that the knot is inside the tin."
0:47:44 > 0:47:48And because I've read the Ladybird Book of the Boy Scout,
0:47:48 > 0:47:51I'm going to tie the two ends together in a reef knot.
0:47:56 > 0:48:01There. There is a modification they don't actually suggest in the Ladybird book,
0:48:01 > 0:48:05but that I'm going to make, as I now weigh nearly 13 and a half stone,
0:48:05 > 0:48:09which is to put the lid back on, just to ensure the tins are as rigid as possible.
0:48:12 > 0:48:14There you are.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18Each tin is now effectively, in engineering terms, a monocoque.
0:48:18 > 0:48:24So, all that remains is to road test this syrup-tin-base stilt solution.
0:48:26 > 0:48:29Ruddy kids these days don't know what they're missing!
0:48:29 > 0:48:33With their YouFace and MyTube and video games...
0:48:33 > 0:48:38All you need are some tins and string, bit of coal to eat...
0:48:41 > 0:48:45When girls get to the age of about 11, something weird happens.
0:48:45 > 0:48:50The pink detritus of innocent childhood is cast aside and instead of spending hours
0:48:50 > 0:48:53dressing up dolls, they suddenly spend hours dressing up themselves.
0:48:53 > 0:48:58In fact, they do something that boys avoid at all costs - they grow up!
0:48:58 > 0:49:03When I was secondary school age, I started getting interested in how I looked.
0:49:03 > 0:49:06And then your first kiss with the boy,
0:49:06 > 0:49:12that was what we all used to concentrate on in the playground. It was such a fascination for us!
0:49:12 > 0:49:15You start to see the signs just before Christmas.
0:49:17 > 0:49:22Girls stop asking for dolls and start asking for things you don't understand.
0:49:23 > 0:49:28Then they start whispering and being secretive about completely irrelevant stuff.
0:49:30 > 0:49:34Boys are suddenly left behind by girls, oblivious to what's going on.
0:49:34 > 0:49:37Girls suddenly need to talk all the time.
0:49:40 > 0:49:43And it sounds like they're saying the same thing over and over again.
0:49:45 > 0:49:49At the same age, a boy might still be happy making Airfix Concorde,
0:49:49 > 0:49:53you know, the big 77 scale one with the complicated instructions...
0:49:54 > 0:49:57The doll's house becomes nothing more than somewhere
0:49:57 > 0:50:00for girls to dump their clothes when getting ready.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06'For some reason, girls suddenly want to go out.
0:50:06 > 0:50:09'And that's when boys who have become dads get nervous.'
0:50:09 > 0:50:11Where are they off to?
0:50:11 > 0:50:15And it's that growing up thing, the thing that girls do so much faster than boys,
0:50:15 > 0:50:19that finally and cruelly shuts the lid on the pleasures of their toy boxes.
0:50:19 > 0:50:25Generation after generation of boys will continue to play with their toys until well into their dotage.
0:50:25 > 0:50:29But girls - and that includes my two sisters - they miss out on all that.
0:50:29 > 0:50:31I think it's a real shame.
0:50:38 > 0:50:41I've saved my little sister's toppest top toy until last,
0:50:41 > 0:50:45because it's the one that had the greatest impact on my life.
0:50:45 > 0:50:50Of all Sarah's toys, it's the one I loathed and despised the most.
0:50:50 > 0:50:53Not because it was girly, not because it was sissy,
0:50:53 > 0:50:55but because it was crap.
0:50:55 > 0:51:01It provided an uninterrupted soundtrack to my childhood that I simply couldn't turn off.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03And here it is.
0:51:03 > 0:51:08Major Morgan, the electronic organ.
0:51:08 > 0:51:09- What a piece of... - BEEP!
0:51:10 > 0:51:14It was given to my sister one terrible Christmas.
0:51:14 > 0:51:19I must have been about six years old when I got Major Morgan the electronic organ.
0:51:19 > 0:51:25I didn't really understand what it was at first, but basically, it plays nursery rhymes.
0:51:25 > 0:51:29When you press different letters, it plays the note.
0:51:29 > 0:51:31So you can play Three Blind Mice really simply.
0:51:32 > 0:51:36Major Morgan had little cards that you slotted into one end
0:51:36 > 0:51:40and these helped you to destroy dependable, centuries-old tunes.
0:51:40 > 0:51:43So when you are quite young, it's a really easy way to play a tune.
0:51:43 > 0:51:46It was so exciting! I played with it every day.
0:51:46 > 0:51:49My brother used to steal it from me and hold it out of my reach.
0:51:49 > 0:51:54I think it was because it was really annoying when I used to play Three Blind Mice all the time!
0:51:54 > 0:52:01I hated it because back then I was learning music and I knew this wasn't a proper musical instrument.
0:52:01 > 0:52:04It has no soul, it has no capacity for expression.
0:52:04 > 0:52:07And you can't play proper tunes on it.
0:52:07 > 0:52:14It failed as a toy, it failed as a musical instrument and it was fit for no purpose whatsoever.
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Except perhaps target practise.
0:52:17 > 0:52:21But before we consign the cheap, nasty, tone-deaf plastic major
0:52:21 > 0:52:26to the great charity box of toy history, I'm going to give him one chance to redeem himself...
0:52:26 > 0:52:29with a special one-off performance.
0:52:32 > 0:52:37And to help me, I'm going to have the backing of an enthusiastic school orchestra.
0:52:41 > 0:52:44BEEPING
0:52:44 > 0:52:47It's out of tune.
0:52:47 > 0:52:50- Is it a musical instrument?- Oh no, absolutely not.- It's just a toy?
0:52:50 > 0:52:52It looks like a toy to me.
0:52:52 > 0:52:53- What about tonally? - BEEP-BEEP!
0:52:53 > 0:52:57It's not a particularly beautiful noise, is it?
0:52:57 > 0:52:58It's not very expressive?
0:52:58 > 0:53:01- No. One sound. - Are we agreed it's rubbish?
0:53:01 > 0:53:02I think so.
0:53:02 > 0:53:06The hour of the performance approaches
0:53:06 > 0:53:08and what could be the Major's last stand.
0:53:08 > 0:53:12This is the first time I've performed with any sort of orchestra
0:53:12 > 0:53:17for over 20 years and I'm playing a very unfamiliar instrument, so I'm actually rather nervous about it,
0:53:17 > 0:53:22especially as these people have practised very hard and their orchestra is rather good.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25Right, Major, this is your last chance to prove yourself.
0:53:25 > 0:53:29So stand up straight, be tonally accurate and don't let these people down.
0:54:18 > 0:54:23HE PLAYS "ODE TO JOY"
0:55:11 > 0:55:16For 30 years, he was a plastic novelty discarded at the back of a cupboard.
0:55:16 > 0:55:21And now it transpires, he's an orchestral soloist.
0:55:21 > 0:55:23And I'm absolutely staggered!
0:55:23 > 0:55:28David, you're the arranger - d'you think Major Morgan did that little Beethoven ditty...
0:55:28 > 0:55:31I was quite impressed. I was pleasantly surprised.
0:55:31 > 0:55:34I wasn't expecting it to be in tune and it was in tune. So yeah.
0:55:34 > 0:55:38Thank you very much for allowing me to play with your orchestra.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41- I'm still... To be honest, it made me slightly emotional.- Aw!
0:55:41 > 0:55:44I got a slight lump in my throat when tune started
0:55:44 > 0:55:48and I thought, "Not only is that one of the best known tunes in the world,
0:55:48 > 0:55:52"it's coming out of one of the worst musical instruments in history!
0:55:52 > 0:55:53"And it still sounds brilliant!"
0:55:58 > 0:56:02That astonishing vindication of Major Morgan, the electronic organ,
0:56:02 > 0:56:06brings to an end this rummage through my sisters' toy box.
0:56:06 > 0:56:09I have weighed up their merits, I've weighed up their faults
0:56:09 > 0:56:14and in conclusion, I feel forced to say that my toys were much better.
0:56:14 > 0:56:17But of course, I would say that, because I'm a boy.
0:56:17 > 0:56:19And more importantly, I'm a brother.
0:56:19 > 0:56:22Happy Christmas, everybody.
0:56:22 > 0:56:24Right, are you ready for this, Jane?
0:56:24 > 0:56:28- I think so.- Okay. One...two...three...four...
0:56:28 > 0:56:32THEY PLAY OUT OF TUNE VERSION OF "LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN"
0:56:47 > 0:56:48That's terrible!
0:56:50 > 0:56:52ORCHESTRA PLAYS "SLEIGH RIDE"
0:57:03 > 0:57:06Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:57:06 > 0:57:09E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk