0:00:06 > 0:00:08Just discovered a woman in Africa with five legs.
0:00:08 > 0:00:10Knickers fit her like a glove.
0:00:10 > 0:00:11Hi!
0:00:11 > 0:00:14LAUGHTER
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Was it something I said?
0:00:18 > 0:00:23McGuigan, you've been knocked down that often you'll end up with a cauliflower arse.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25The old gags are the best, aren't they?
0:00:27 > 0:00:28It's the way I tell them.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31He was above being Protestant or Catholic, he was just Frank.
0:00:31 > 0:00:36I knocked at the door and it was an old Irish lady came to the door, God love her, 79 years old.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Big long green dress, beautiful white hair
0:00:38 > 0:00:41and one of the softest Irish accents I have ever heard.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44As they say in Ballymena, he would have deafened you.
0:00:44 > 0:00:45And she said,
0:00:45 > 0:00:48"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"
0:01:06 > 0:01:09'The world of show business pays tribute to Frank Carson,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13'the Belfast-born comedian who died last night at the age of 85.'
0:01:15 > 0:01:20They've just invented a new pillow for Capley Quilts, 3.5 tonnes.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23You put it up against the door and your husband can't get in.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27There's the Titanic, then there's Frank.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Both come out of Belfast and made their mark on the world.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35'Northern Ireland has lost one of its greatest ever ambassadors.'
0:01:35 > 0:01:36What a hotel I'm in,
0:01:36 > 0:01:40lovely beautiful dressing gown behind the door, soft, fluffy togs,
0:01:40 > 0:01:45lovely sheets, took me half an hour getting my suitcase closed.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47And everybody loved him.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50The fella went into the chemist, he said, "Give me six Viagra."
0:01:50 > 0:01:53The chemist says, "Have you got a prescription?"
0:01:53 > 0:01:57He said, "No, but I'll show you a photograph of the wife."
0:01:57 > 0:02:00I travelled all the way up from Dublin this morning
0:02:00 > 0:02:02just to sign the book of condolences.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04He was a great man.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Have you seen me on the telly?
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Good, you're going to hear the same jokes again.
0:02:12 > 0:02:17Just joke after joke after joke. It's just so funny, you know,
0:02:17 > 0:02:19very, very witty man, very witty.
0:02:19 > 0:02:22He was just a real funny man and a very, very nice man
0:02:22 > 0:02:23and a family man.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27You may not have liked him but you couldn't ignore him,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30he was just an extraordinary man.
0:02:30 > 0:02:35He made people laugh when times were very, very bad, very depressing.
0:02:35 > 0:02:40There wasn't much fun but he added so much fun to people's lives,
0:02:40 > 0:02:43he certainly did to mine.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46When I started out at the Empire, I thought Frank Carson
0:02:46 > 0:02:49had no relevance to me whatsoever, absolutely none.
0:02:49 > 0:02:53And then I came over here and in a way,
0:02:53 > 0:02:56I think what he did was that anyone who came from Northern Ireland
0:02:56 > 0:02:59afterwards, English people were prepared to judge them
0:02:59 > 0:03:02based on whether they were funny or not
0:03:02 > 0:03:07and so everybody from Roy Walker, Eamonn Holmes, Gloria Hunniford,
0:03:07 > 0:03:12anybody that's come since really has to thank Frank.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14He was inseparable from his roots
0:03:14 > 0:03:18because he couldn't be Frank Carson without being a Belfast man.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21There was many things, he was very funny, he was a soldier,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23he was a father, he was lots of things,
0:03:23 > 0:03:27a comic genius but he was also a Belfast man and that was integral
0:03:27 > 0:03:32to his humour and who he was and the audience that he knew.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Just behind me is Donegal Street and it is one of the oldest streets
0:03:40 > 0:03:44in Belfast but I consider it my street because I went to school here,
0:03:44 > 0:03:47I went to church here, probably could say my show business career
0:03:47 > 0:03:50started here because I was a boy soprano in the choir.
0:03:50 > 0:03:54We've got three beautiful churches and I met my wife here, my childhood sweetheart.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58You follow me and I'll fill you in on what's happening.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Years and years across the water and not changing.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03None of this, you go over there
0:04:03 > 0:04:06and you start instead of saying, "gayum" you go, "game."
0:04:06 > 0:04:08And instead of saying, "par" you go, "pow-er."
0:04:08 > 0:04:10That's not Frank, that wasn't him.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12I went round to the Palladium, there was a crowd,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15I said to this fella, "What's Jimmy Tarbuck like?"
0:04:15 > 0:04:17He said, "He's the funniest comedian in Britain."
0:04:17 > 0:04:20I said, "Have you heard of a comedian called Frank Carson?"
0:04:20 > 0:04:22He says, "Him, he stinks."
0:04:22 > 0:04:24I said, "Well, I'm Frank Carson."
0:04:24 > 0:04:26He says, "I know, I'm Jimmy Tarbuck."
0:04:28 > 0:04:32So he kept his accent, he was well-known for it.
0:04:34 > 0:04:36It's authenticity, that's what it is.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Frank was Frank, he was Frank, he was Carson.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44He made the best of his talents, he made the best of the fact
0:04:44 > 0:04:48he was a Belfast man and we have a great humour over here.
0:04:48 > 0:04:54And I praise him and admire him for what he achieved.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I was only six or seven and my dad had to go round to Frank's house.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02We lived in the New Lodge Road and he lived on Stratheden Street
0:05:02 > 0:05:05and my dad brought me around and my dad was talking business with him
0:05:05 > 0:05:09and Frank was a plasterer then and my dad needed him for something.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11And when we came out, my dad holding my hand
0:05:11 > 0:05:15and we were walking down the street and he said to me, "See Frank, there?"
0:05:15 > 0:05:18He said, "he's going to be famous, he's going to be on the TV."
0:05:21 > 0:05:24'And here he is, your compere,
0:05:24 > 0:05:26Hughie Green.'
0:05:27 > 0:05:28Thank you, thank you very much.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, nice to be back.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34And tonight, welcome once again, to British television's
0:05:34 > 0:05:36only variety show where your votes
0:05:36 > 0:05:38and your votes alone make the winners.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42And the fact that he went on and there was no phone polls
0:05:42 > 0:05:45in those days, it was all postal votes
0:05:45 > 0:05:49and the whole community, the whole community in the New Lodge,
0:05:49 > 0:05:53they were all behind Frank and he ran a fantastic campaign,
0:05:53 > 0:05:57it was like a presidential election to get his votes in.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Vote early, vote often.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01This fella had four O Levels,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04mugging, knifing, boozing and shoplifting.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Somebody threw a petrol bomb at him and he drank it.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10He didn't forget that,
0:06:10 > 0:06:16I don't think you forgot the fact that the people of Belfast,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19of the New Lodge, of Northern Ireland, got him where he was.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Did you hear about the Irish man reversed into the car boot sale?
0:06:22 > 0:06:26And he sold the engine. It's the way I tell them.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28Maggie Murphy went to the doctors, she said,
0:06:28 > 0:06:30"I've forgotten to take my contradictive pill."
0:06:30 > 0:06:32He said, "You've what?"
0:06:32 > 0:06:35"I've forgotten my contradictive pill." He said, "You're ignorant."
0:06:35 > 0:06:37"Yeah, three months."
0:06:42 > 0:06:44That's a cracker, that one.
0:06:44 > 0:06:48It's the way I tell them. It must be a gift, it's a gift.
0:06:48 > 0:06:49Thanks.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55It's funny, because impressions of catchphrases, David Frost,
0:06:55 > 0:06:59you know, was always "Hello, good evening and welcome."
0:06:59 > 0:07:04And by the time it finished, he went "Hellooo, gud evening..."
0:07:04 > 0:07:08And with Frank it started out, "That's a cracker."
0:07:08 > 0:07:11And by the end, "at a crker, at a crckr."
0:07:11 > 0:07:13'At a cracker.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14It's the way I tell 'em.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17You want me to try to do it, you want me to make a fool of myself?
0:07:17 > 0:07:21'At's a cracker. 'At's a cracker. It'sa way I tell 'em.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Have you heard the one about the lad who went off to Canada
0:07:24 > 0:07:27and when he had been there some months he wrote back to his mum
0:07:27 > 0:07:29and said, "I've grown an extra foot."
0:07:29 > 0:07:32So she sent him three socks for a present. That's a cracker!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38I first encountered Frank Carson in a joke book
0:07:38 > 0:07:42that sat in my bathroom when I was seven years of age.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45And there was a show on the TV called The Comedians.
0:07:45 > 0:07:47I should have read you this letter earlier on, it's from my mother.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51She says, "Dear Frank, you've now been away for three weeks
0:07:51 > 0:07:54"and we thought you were still in the lavatory."
0:07:54 > 0:07:56And Frank's section of the book
0:07:56 > 0:08:00was the section that was ripped out cos those were the best jokes.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03"Since you've left home, your father has become a sex maniac
0:08:03 > 0:08:07"and tries to make love to me every opportunity he gets.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11"Please excuse the wobbly writing."
0:08:11 > 0:08:13Never get away with that one.
0:08:13 > 0:08:16So he transplants himself and he goes and lives in Manchester
0:08:16 > 0:08:19and the north-west of England in Blackpool
0:08:19 > 0:08:22but his heart's always in Northern Ireland.
0:08:22 > 0:08:26"Your uncle Joe drank a bottle of varnish yesterday and had a horrible death
0:08:26 > 0:08:27"but a lovely finish."
0:08:29 > 0:08:31The way I tell 'em.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35"I would've put £2 in this letter
0:08:35 > 0:08:37"only I have the envelope sealed."
0:08:39 > 0:08:43Cos that's where his audience is, that's the base of his humour,
0:08:43 > 0:08:48that's the upbringing that made him the funny man that he was.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I've just walked a short distance from Donegal Street,
0:08:52 > 0:08:55the end of what's known as Little Italy.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Know why they call it Little Italy.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Cos there's a real lot of Italian families living around in this area.
0:09:02 > 0:09:07Fuscos, Santinis, the Peruccis, the Morellis
0:09:07 > 0:09:10and if you look just over my shoulder you'll find,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13just behind that fella offering me the money,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16is the very room I was born in.
0:09:16 > 0:09:1848 George Street.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22My mother was second string Italian, really,
0:09:22 > 0:09:30her father was Sicilian and my dad was obviously a Belfast man.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32But she was Italian,
0:09:32 > 0:09:36and she swore in Italian at my father.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I mean, one of my jokes was that I descended not from the Mafia
0:09:40 > 0:09:42but from the Murphia.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45Remember the boat the Mary Celeste where everyone disappeared?
0:09:45 > 0:09:46Well, they found out why.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50Cannon and Ball were doing the cabaret.
0:09:53 > 0:09:59Well, I thought I'd find you two legendary journalists here.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Two legendary hacks.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03I've known Frank forever.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06He's been around in my life at the last 50 years,
0:10:06 > 0:10:07without a shadow of a doubt.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11He was always good for the last ten centimetres of my column that I couldn't fill.
0:10:11 > 0:10:15I phoned Frank and he came up with a story.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19I'll tell you where he gets it all from. He got it from his mother, Josephine.
0:10:19 > 0:10:23I met her once. She lived up around Cliftonville in a lovely
0:10:23 > 0:10:26little flat. And he took me to see her.
0:10:26 > 0:10:31It was uncanny listening to her, because it was Frank. The same sort of jokes.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34The two of them rattled away to each other. And he loved her, adored her.
0:10:34 > 0:10:38My mother was the same, Josie. She was very funny.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42I remember going in to waken her one morning. She'd only one eye, died at 89.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44And I went into waken her. I said, "Hey, Josie, waken up!"
0:10:44 > 0:10:49"What are you waking me for?" she said. "I was having 20 winks!"
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Not 40. One eye, 20! Lovely, wasn't it?
0:10:51 > 0:10:57'I was reading there while I was away, Frank Carson was ill with stomach cancer.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01'I'm delighted to say that he's on the line with us now.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03'Frank, good morning to you.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06'Good morning to you and how wonderful to hear
0:11:06 > 0:11:10'the news that Doagh Road is down to one lane.'
0:11:10 > 0:11:12FRANK CHUCKLES
0:11:12 > 0:11:15'It's always nice to talk to you, Frank.'
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Frank would phone the Nolan Show quite often.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22- 'I'm sorry to hear about your friend. That's scandalous.'- Yeah.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26'That's absolutely scandalous and I'd say to her
0:11:26 > 0:11:30'to get them into court, get as much publicity as possible,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33'especially people in that particular area.'
0:11:33 > 0:11:38And it would have been because there was a stranger in Northern Ireland
0:11:38 > 0:11:41who he didn't know and he was interested in their story,
0:11:41 > 0:11:44or he was interested in something happening in Northern Ireland.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47On he would come, and to be honest with you, it would be
0:11:47 > 0:11:50a bit of a problem because I'd look at the clock and it'd be
0:11:50 > 0:11:539:45, he'd talk about the subject matter for a few minutes,
0:11:53 > 0:11:56he'd tell jokes for five minutes. You couldn't shut him up.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00So it's ten or five to ten, news comes at 10 o'clock. Couldn't get Frank to shut up.
0:12:00 > 0:12:05'Let me just play you once again, this car mileage joke,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08'because I just love it. I love it!
0:12:08 > 0:12:11'Murphy said to Flanagan, "What's the big, long face for?"
0:12:11 > 0:12:15'He says, "I can't get rid of the car. 78,000 miles on the clock."
0:12:15 > 0:12:18'He said, "Well, why don't put the clock back?"
0:12:18 > 0:12:21'"Jeepers, I never thought of that." He sees him a week later.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25'He says, "Did you get rid of the car?" He says, "Why should I? Only 12,000 miles on her."'
0:12:25 > 0:12:28I'd ring him up and say, "Frank...
0:12:28 > 0:12:31and he'd say, "Two knickknacks and a gehoji..."
0:12:31 > 0:12:35And I'd say, "Frank...", and he'd say, "Listen, did you hear this one?"
0:12:35 > 0:12:39And he'd just go into it. He'd just go in and I'd listen to his jokes for 20 minutes,
0:12:39 > 0:12:41then think, "What was I ringing him about?"
0:12:41 > 0:12:44This fella's had more hits than you had in your last fight!
0:12:44 > 0:12:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Did you like that?
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Very good!
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Did a show the other night. One man in the audience, at the show.
0:12:54 > 0:12:57I said, "Thanks very much for coming. We'll do the show for you."
0:12:57 > 0:13:00He said, "Terrific. Would you hurry? I've to lock up."
0:13:00 > 0:13:05I used to love his phone calls because he'd forget what he rang for.
0:13:05 > 0:13:11He'd just tell you joke after joke and that was him. Loved him to bits.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15It was exhausting! And it's not that you actually did anything. You didn't.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18All you did was laugh. You just had to laugh and listen.
0:13:18 > 0:13:23So your jaws hurt and your ears hurt. And he just did not stop.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27And whether that was a talent or a condition,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I'm not really sure!
0:13:30 > 0:13:35Brigid Murphy went to the parish priest. She said, "Father, can I use the pill?"
0:13:35 > 0:13:39He said, "Of course not. You know the rules of the church." She said, "What'll I do?"
0:13:39 > 0:13:41He said, "You'll have to use the rhythm method."
0:13:41 > 0:13:43LAUGHTER
0:13:43 > 0:13:46She says, "Where am I going to get a ceili band at 12:30 at night?"
0:13:46 > 0:13:50RAUCOUS LAUGHTER
0:13:53 > 0:13:55It's a cracker, isn't it?
0:13:55 > 0:13:59Somebody says to me, "Were you talking to Frank recently?" I says, "No, I was listening!"
0:13:59 > 0:14:02I've just come back from Australia.
0:14:02 > 0:14:06I got into this aircraft in Australia and a fella walked in behind me,
0:14:06 > 0:14:09shoved a shotgun in the pilot's ear and said, "Take me to London."
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Pilot says, "I'm going to London." He says, "I know, but I've been hijacked twice,
0:14:13 > 0:14:16"and I'm taking no bloody chances!"
0:14:16 > 0:14:18LAUGHTER
0:14:18 > 0:14:23It was the oldest aircraft I've ever been in. It had an outside lavatory.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Even that year I won the World Championship
0:14:25 > 0:14:29I got a message from Frank every round I won through.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33Or if I had a bad session, because it went on for 17 days.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36The poor wee girl on reception had to write a message from Frank
0:14:36 > 0:14:42and she had to put down the words Frank said, and occasionally there was the odd word...
0:14:42 > 0:14:46And this would be under my door when I got back from the snooker and it would be a message...
0:14:46 > 0:14:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:49 > 0:14:54Frank was spurring me on throughout that whole World Championship.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58Round here as well, there was just streets and streets of little houses...
0:14:58 > 0:15:04You know, Edward Street, Little Edward Street, Little York Street.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07Good God, the memories flooding back there.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10This is where my Aunt Bridget lived.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15And I'll show you one of the great Carson monuments, if you like!
0:15:15 > 0:15:19This where I done... See all this here, look.
0:15:19 > 0:15:21I plastered all round those.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25And that was Aunt Bridget's house and that was Mrs Morgan's.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28And I plastered Mrs Morgan's scullery and kitchen.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32They all gave me a couple of quid each, except Mrs Morgan,
0:15:32 > 0:15:35she gave me two pound of sugar.
0:15:35 > 0:15:39The sugar was as hard as that! She must have had it for years!
0:15:39 > 0:15:43And the fella in the corner here... he knocked two rooms into one.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48It's the only house in Belfast with a 60-foot ceiling.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53My favourite joke is, one man, and his wife said to him,
0:15:53 > 0:15:57"Frank, if you win the lottery, would you still love me?"
0:15:57 > 0:16:00He says, "Of course, I'd still love you, but I'd miss you."
0:16:00 > 0:16:04- Take your hands off now. Don't trust him.- You nearly wore that dress.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Don't trust him, Bonnie. Frank Carson,
0:16:07 > 0:16:09we haven't seen you for ages.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11It's a pleasure to be back here, Terry.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I've been one of your great fans for many years.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16I'm looking forward to enjoying this show
0:16:16 > 0:16:20and the audience enjoying me as well. And...
0:16:20 > 0:16:25Now you may have heard a boo in the audience there, that's my manager.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29I like the way you could put the family down,
0:16:29 > 0:16:33watched his jokes, there was never any problem with him, nothing smutty.
0:16:33 > 0:16:38I always liked him, too, because he was funny
0:16:38 > 0:16:41and he was never ever blue.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45I think his best gag, and he never used to always use it.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48He used to say about in the army and the paratroopers,
0:16:48 > 0:16:50the sergeant major said,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53"Carson! I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."
0:16:53 > 0:16:56"Thank you, sir."
0:16:56 > 0:17:01Now, that to me...is one of his... It's a cracker!
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I think that was one of his best one-line gags, I just love that.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06The ice cream van stopped,
0:17:08 > 0:17:12and they opened the doors and the ice cream man was lying dead,
0:17:12 > 0:17:18covered in ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and nuts.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20And the policeman said, "What happened here?"
0:17:20 > 0:17:23And the fella said, "He topped himself."
0:17:28 > 0:17:32I think that's what kept his longevity.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34If you're clean, you'll always get work.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37APPLAUSE
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Is this a good joke? Before you start.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50Turn out that spotlight, you're going to fade this suit.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Why did the chicken run across the road?
0:17:53 > 0:17:55I don't know, why did the chicken run across the road?
0:17:55 > 0:17:59Because the Russians were shooting at him.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02Oh, sorry, wait. Sorry, got that wrong.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06Why did the Chechen run across the road?
0:18:06 > 0:18:08I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11she has "Next" written on her undies.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14He came up to me and he said, "I thought you were very good
0:18:14 > 0:18:18"tonight, young Kielty, you almost made me laugh twice."
0:18:18 > 0:18:21It's the king of Irish comedy, Mr Frank Carson!
0:18:24 > 0:18:26You watch it.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30Just completely came out.
0:18:30 > 0:18:35Floored me, couldn't get a word in edgeways.
0:18:35 > 0:18:36I was coming from Newry, there was a lorry
0:18:36 > 0:18:39and I was flashing him, trying to make him stop.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Eventually he stops and says, "What's wrong?"
0:18:41 > 0:18:44I said, "You're shedding your load."
0:18:44 > 0:18:46He said, "I'm gritting."
0:18:46 > 0:18:49It's the only television show I've been on where they've said,
0:18:49 > 0:18:52"What way do you want your money, heads or tails?"
0:18:52 > 0:18:56There was an old priest on the plane this morning, he said to me,
0:18:56 > 0:18:58"Are you nervous?"
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- Was there, Frank? - Yes, he gave me a glass of wine.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05I said, "That's strong." He said, "The pope drinks that."
0:19:05 > 0:19:08I said, "No wonder he falls on his knees when he gets off the plane."
0:19:08 > 0:19:11Look, is there any gags you don't know?
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Oh, I'm sure there's a few I don't know,
0:19:14 > 0:19:17but I'd like to hear some I do know.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22That's why I came on the show, to get some of my old material back.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23APPLAUSE
0:19:23 > 0:19:27Here we are, St Patrick's, part of Carson's history.
0:19:27 > 0:19:31- Father White, how are you? - Good morning, Frank.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34Beautiful, Father, oh, you've done a magnificent job here.
0:19:34 > 0:19:35Thank you very much.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40You won't believe it, but see up there...I was a choir boy up there.
0:19:40 > 0:19:44I used to be in the choir. Did you know Frank Carson was a boy soprano?
0:19:47 > 0:19:51And of course, you'd go to little show...
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Frank's religion and faith was very important to him,
0:19:54 > 0:19:57but that didn't blind him to the fact
0:19:57 > 0:19:59of how divisive religion could be,
0:19:59 > 0:20:03and how we as a people had more in common
0:20:03 > 0:20:06than we had that would keep us apart.
0:20:06 > 0:20:10I think he realised that, in his position,
0:20:10 > 0:20:14he was above being Protestant or Catholic, he was just Frank.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18This tree is planted at exactly 94, Corporation Street
0:20:18 > 0:20:21and the woman next door was the Murphys,
0:20:21 > 0:20:23and the woman next door was the Gilmores,
0:20:23 > 0:20:24and the woman at the end,
0:20:24 > 0:20:28I used to do her messages, was Mrs Quinn and just there
0:20:28 > 0:20:29was Sinclair Seamen's Church,
0:20:29 > 0:20:33and I read every day. I used to read this psalm,
0:20:33 > 0:20:36"They that go down to the sea in ships and who do business in great waters,
0:20:36 > 0:20:40"these are the works of the Lord and his wonders of the deep."
0:20:40 > 0:20:44Now, when you look it back at the Troubles here
0:20:44 > 0:20:48and 3,000 of our citizens slaughtered.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50For what reason?
0:20:50 > 0:20:54If my quotation still holds, too many Catholics,
0:20:54 > 0:20:58too many Protestants, not enough Christians.
0:20:59 > 0:21:02What's your inspiration for your laughter?
0:21:02 > 0:21:06Just loving people, and knowing they're there to see you
0:21:06 > 0:21:12and you're the centre of attraction so go ahead, make them laugh.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14God was all love, he's been merciful to me,
0:21:14 > 0:21:19he's given me an absolutely wonderful life to walk out on stage knowing
0:21:19 > 0:21:21that's there's maybe only 10 people or 10,000,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24makes no difference to me, I'll make them laugh.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28There's three things in life you'll always be sure of,
0:21:28 > 0:21:32one, taxation, two, death, three, everywhere that you're with
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Frank Carson, like you are, you'll get a laugh.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39I would sum him up in terms of one word, generosity.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43That came through massively both in front of the microphone
0:21:43 > 0:21:47but a lot behind the scenes. So Frank would have phoned me
0:21:47 > 0:21:52after the programme a few times and asked for an address of a complete stranger
0:21:52 > 0:21:55and I would have said, "What are you doing?"
0:21:55 > 0:21:58"I want to send them a cheque. I was listening to your programme today and
0:21:58 > 0:22:02"I know they're in trouble. I want to quietly send them some money."
0:22:02 > 0:22:04So he wasn't looking for publicity,
0:22:04 > 0:22:07he didn't know them, his only connection to these people was
0:22:07 > 0:22:12Northern Ireland and I think that says lot about him.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15Unbelievable charity work.
0:22:15 > 0:22:20Pope John Paul gave him the Knight of St Gregory
0:22:20 > 0:22:22for his charity work.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Frank paid loads of his time and money into it,
0:22:25 > 0:22:28him and his son, Tony,
0:22:28 > 0:22:30did unbelievable work for it and education.
0:22:30 > 0:22:36We met the two Popes, yeah, we went to meet Pope John Paul.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39There's an old story about him and Pope Benedict,
0:22:39 > 0:22:44and Benedict says to him, "Did you ever meet Elvis Presley?"
0:22:44 > 0:22:45And Frank said, "Not yet."
0:22:45 > 0:22:48"You know, Jackie," he says,
0:22:48 > 0:22:50"You can get humour out of everything. Tragedy."
0:22:50 > 0:22:53And it was the time of the tremors,
0:22:53 > 0:22:56the earthquakes in Los Angeles and he says,
0:22:56 > 0:22:59"Paddy was over there." Always an Irishman.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01"And he was in a trap in a hotel, and he says,
0:23:01 > 0:23:04"They're searching for days. The third day they hear this voice,
0:23:04 > 0:23:08"Hello?" he says, "Who is that?"
0:23:08 > 0:23:11'"Paddy, Paddy Murphy."'
0:23:11 > 0:23:14And he says, "We're trying to get you out, keep calm,
0:23:14 > 0:23:18"can you give us a clue, where are you?"
0:23:18 > 0:23:22'"Aye, he says, "It's straightforward. I'm in Room 237."'
0:23:24 > 0:23:27This is my old school here. I had a wonderful education
0:23:27 > 0:23:30even though I left school at 14,
0:23:30 > 0:23:35reading, writing and arithmetic and in here is my old classroom
0:23:35 > 0:23:37and I haven't seen it since I was 14 years old.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Good God.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Frank Carson!
0:23:43 > 0:23:46How are you? I'm George Bush!
0:23:46 > 0:23:50He saw the good in people, he was a kind man,
0:23:50 > 0:23:54he was full of energy and he lived 150 years in those 85 years.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Of all the places I've been in the world, this will be the one place
0:23:58 > 0:24:02I can never forget, it's absolutely wonderful,
0:24:02 > 0:24:07it's my old classroom, I can smell the chalk,
0:24:07 > 0:24:10I can hear the noise of the cane, slapping on the backside
0:24:10 > 0:24:14and that's how we done it. Caned for doing things wrong.
0:24:14 > 0:24:18The big stove in the corner, God, I can see it now,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20the heat just flying off it.
0:24:20 > 0:24:25Of course we lose a comic genius but for his family, for his wife, Ruth,
0:24:25 > 0:24:29for his sons, Tony and Aidan and his daughter, Majella,
0:24:29 > 0:24:34they lose a husband and a dad, they'll never lose him,
0:24:34 > 0:24:36none of us will ever lose him.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40He's there, preserved, he's captured, the smile is there,
0:24:40 > 0:24:44he's on film, he's on video, he's in people's memories
0:24:44 > 0:24:50and most of all he's in people's hearts and in people's smiles
0:24:50 > 0:24:53because, when we mention him, we just laugh.
0:24:59 > 0:25:04At 12 o'clock I used to ring the bell, ring-ring,
0:25:04 > 0:25:08and then I'd leave the bell down and I'd be first out,
0:25:08 > 0:25:11I'd be out that door like the clappers and run all the way
0:25:11 > 0:25:13to Corporation Street.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16Do you know, I was a budding Seb Coe in those days?
0:25:16 > 0:25:19Non-stop running.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31Oh, dear.
0:25:31 > 0:25:35A lot of my old friends, all the nicknames,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Donkey McCrudden,
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Cash Register McCrabe, Overcolour Hanlon,
0:25:41 > 0:25:46Oinky McCrudden, Duck Alec, all dead.
0:25:48 > 0:25:52He was a very special man, a very, very special man, Frank.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00An icon.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06He was a friend of Belfast.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12He was an ambassador for Northern Ireland,
0:26:12 > 0:26:17he was a very, very funny man,
0:26:17 > 0:26:19and he was a friend of mine
0:26:19 > 0:26:22and I loved him.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25'Large crowds are expected at the funeral of Frank Carson,
0:26:25 > 0:26:28'n Belfast, later this morning.
0:26:28 > 0:26:33The 85-year-old comedian died in Blackpool last month.'
0:26:33 > 0:26:37"I've had a charmed life, among some of the most wonderful people,
0:26:37 > 0:26:40"some of the funniest people in the world as well,
0:26:40 > 0:26:44"and I've just loved every minute of it.
0:26:44 > 0:26:47"I'm so hoping that when I die,
0:26:47 > 0:26:50"there's the like of people
0:26:50 > 0:26:52"coming on to the radio and saying,
0:26:52 > 0:26:56"We're sorry to hear Frank has gone.
0:26:56 > 0:27:00"And if I could listen to that happening I would say,
0:27:00 > 0:27:04"Thank you very much indeed, you've made me a very happy man
0:27:04 > 0:27:08"because I've made so many laugh over so many years."
0:27:25 > 0:27:28That's a cracker, that one. It's the way I tell them.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd