Sleight & Hand

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09If men be truly gentle

0:00:09 > 0:00:12and heedful of their lady's needs,

0:00:12 > 0:00:18with tempers temperamental, pray caution now as you proceed.

0:00:19 > 0:00:25We beg your patience and your nerve and swear we'll serve as best we can.

0:00:25 > 0:00:32And through dark arts may shed some light upon the darker heart of man.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35How am I doing? Is this what you wanted?

0:00:35 > 0:00:37Perfect. Perfect, please, carry on.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39It's not a little too...

0:00:39 > 0:00:41A little too...?

0:00:41 > 0:00:45Nothing. No, no, nothing.

0:00:47 > 0:00:54And through dark arts may shed some light upon the darker heart of man.

0:00:54 > 0:01:00So, watch us close, those keen of eye may some small secret understand.

0:01:00 > 0:01:04So, simple folk, just see the smoke.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07They missed the switch, this sleight of...

0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Mr Sleight... - Edwin, please.

0:01:10 > 0:01:11- Edwin. - Edwin Sleight.

0:01:11 > 0:01:14Slim framed and nimble fingered.

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Sharp of cheekbone and of mind.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20Proud resident of the pulsating epicentre

0:01:20 > 0:01:22of the greatest city in the world,

0:01:22 > 0:01:25riding roughshod through streets on the brink of supernova,

0:01:25 > 0:01:29chasing dreams and demons with equal alacrity and never drawing breath,

0:01:29 > 0:01:30Edwin...

0:01:30 > 0:01:34Edwin Sleight, roll up, roll up, step up, ladies and gents, don't be shy.

0:01:34 > 0:01:40Come and see the incredible Edwin Sleight, man of a million mysteries!

0:01:40 > 0:01:41Thank you.

0:01:41 > 0:01:44Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

0:01:44 > 0:01:47Prepare to be amazed by the...

0:01:47 > 0:01:48Oh...

0:01:48 > 0:01:51incredible and amazing feats...

0:01:51 > 0:01:55No, er, prepare to be incredulous.

0:01:55 > 0:01:59Yes, incredulous at the incredible and amazing feats...

0:01:59 > 0:02:00Get off!

0:02:00 > 0:02:03You've been wonderful. Get a safe carriage.

0:02:03 > 0:02:05That's Edwin Sleight, tell your friends.

0:02:05 > 0:02:08Sleight with a E-I.

0:02:08 > 0:02:11London was not kind to the young Edwin Sleight.

0:02:11 > 0:02:15As a rationalist, he took the city's indifference in his stride.

0:02:15 > 0:02:18But when met with the same response from its inhabitants,

0:02:18 > 0:02:21the rejection stung a little more.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Furthermore, as a rationalist, he couldn't help but question

0:02:25 > 0:02:29the judgement of the freethinking citizens who viewed him so unkindly.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33For clearly he was blessed with many admirable traits.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37A keen, enquiring mind, a natural intelligence,

0:02:37 > 0:02:41a flair for artistry and a lean, agile fame.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45Through any objective criteria, he reasoned,

0:02:45 > 0:02:48there was nothing to suggest he shouldn't excel.

0:02:48 > 0:02:51And yet, once accumulated,

0:02:51 > 0:02:54Edwin seemed to amount to less than the sum of his parts.

0:02:54 > 0:02:58Or rather, like a collection of excellent ingredients

0:02:58 > 0:03:01which shouldn't necessarily be combined.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05I'm like pineapple and herring.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09Pineapple and herring and gin.

0:03:09 > 0:03:13A way with words was not his strongest suit.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17And the early performances of the amazing Mr Sleight

0:03:17 > 0:03:19were not well received.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22"Amazing...slightly" the papers would have declared,

0:03:22 > 0:03:24had any been present to witness them.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Roll up, roll up, come and see the slightly amazing Edmond Sleight!

0:03:28 > 0:03:30Ed-win. Edwin.

0:03:30 > 0:03:31Edwin what?

0:03:31 > 0:03:33- Is that a coin trick. - Oh, never mind.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35But Edwin persevered.

0:03:35 > 0:03:38Tenacity, another of his talents.

0:03:38 > 0:03:43And I believe these, madam, are your pearls.

0:03:44 > 0:03:46Oh, um...

0:03:46 > 0:03:49And I believe these, madam,

0:03:49 > 0:03:52are your pearls!

0:03:52 > 0:03:53Oh, um...

0:03:55 > 0:03:59And I believe these, madam, are your pearls.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Oh! Oh!

0:04:04 > 0:04:08It isn't fair. It isn't the slightest bit...

0:04:08 > 0:04:10And there you have it.

0:04:10 > 0:04:16The very heart of all my woes. Sleight by name and slight by nature.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20Slight hope, scant chance, the very faintest of impressions made.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Which should in my profession be a veritable boom,

0:04:23 > 0:04:26to slip through shadows imperceptibly,

0:04:26 > 0:04:28to vanish without the slightest trace,

0:04:28 > 0:04:31and yet the act of disappearance is somewhat less impressive

0:04:31 > 0:04:36when one's reappearance, and indeed departure, goes unnoticed.

0:04:36 > 0:04:39And on this matter, his powers of perception were irrefutable.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43However, a solution was suggested, an outlandish scheme

0:04:43 > 0:04:47devised by his one friend and true confidant, Mr Ben...

0:04:47 > 0:04:49Baker.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- This is absurd. - This is inspired.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54Oh, Ben, please.

0:04:54 > 0:04:58"Lend a hand", the advertisement read.

0:04:58 > 0:05:02"If your surname is Hand, and your destiny is on the stage,

0:05:02 > 0:05:05"report to 151 Mayfair on April 12 at noon

0:05:05 > 0:05:07"and await further instructions."

0:05:07 > 0:05:09I work alone.

0:05:09 > 0:05:10You don't work at all.

0:05:10 > 0:05:15Picture it, Edwin, Slight And Hand.

0:05:15 > 0:05:17It's just what the act needs.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22Look at these - the astounding Zanquanda, Amazon Queen.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25Uri, the levitating Hun.

0:05:25 > 0:05:28Prince Ulrich, Demon Voyager.

0:05:28 > 0:05:29Now, you know as well as I do

0:05:29 > 0:05:32that Ulrich has not a drop of royal blood in him.

0:05:32 > 0:05:34Yuri is two midgets from Ealing.

0:05:34 > 0:05:37And the only astounding thing about Zanquanda

0:05:37 > 0:05:39is that she manages to spell her name the same way twice.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Image is everything.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44But I don't even live in Mayfair!

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Of course not, but there they will receive a series of directions

0:05:48 > 0:05:52designed to test their cunning, resolve and moral fibre

0:05:52 > 0:05:55to its breaking point, ultimately leading them

0:05:55 > 0:05:59to a den of such iniquity, such extravagant squalor and decay,

0:05:59 > 0:06:02such charismatic rot and intrigue,

0:06:02 > 0:06:05it could only have been constructed for the purpose

0:06:05 > 0:06:08by the greatest stage artist of the age.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11You're talking about my apartment, aren't you?

0:06:11 > 0:06:12Yes, I am.

0:06:14 > 0:06:15Er, your name?

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Herbert Hand, sir.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20And your current occupation?

0:06:20 > 0:06:23- Oh, I'm a butcher, sir. - I see.

0:06:23 > 0:06:28Butchery and illusion are two quite different things, Mr Hand.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31What makes you think this role would suit you?

0:06:31 > 0:06:34On account of me not being a very good butcher, sir,

0:06:34 > 0:06:38so you needn't worry about any unwanted transferable skills.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40I see.

0:06:40 > 0:06:44Tell me, is not having a full complement of fingers

0:06:44 > 0:06:46likely to cause problems?

0:06:48 > 0:06:52Capt Fitzwilliam Montgomery Hand reporting for duty, sir.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54MIMICS BUGLE

0:06:54 > 0:06:57Questionably discharged and ready for a front.

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Wonderful. And in what way...?

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Of course, I deciphered the true meaning of your rudimentary clues

0:07:01 > 0:07:04were these. And I say the treasure's as good as ours.

0:07:04 > 0:07:06I can sail with you tonight.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Although if you prefer to travel alone,

0:07:09 > 0:07:11we can liaise in Budapest next week.

0:07:11 > 0:07:12Ah.

0:07:12 > 0:07:14And I say, Mr Sleight,

0:07:14 > 0:07:17it was quite the strangest proposal I'd ever seen.

0:07:17 > 0:07:20Of course, it will be my daughter's hand you're after.

0:07:20 > 0:07:24Whoops! Not me own.

0:07:24 > 0:07:26Although, if I was 20 years younger...

0:07:26 > 0:07:28I think there may have been some kind of...

0:07:28 > 0:07:30# Hold his hand, hold his hand

0:07:30 > 0:07:32# And he will guide the way. #

0:07:32 > 0:07:34- Um... - It's a good hand,

0:07:34 > 0:07:36A Strawbridge hand.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Although if there are any other body parts you require,

0:07:39 > 0:07:43I daresay we could come to some...arrangement.

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Er, no, I don't believe that will be necessary.

0:07:46 > 0:07:48Peter Paver, sir, at your service.

0:07:48 > 0:07:52Mr Paver, the advertisement did clearly specify...

0:07:52 > 0:07:56I'm his bestest friend. Happy hand worth a helping hand.

0:07:56 > 0:07:57Next!

0:07:57 > 0:07:59Are you offended?

0:07:59 > 0:08:01I give you hand.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04Monkey hand, grant three wishes.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Enough, enough, get out! Out, all of you, out!

0:08:07 > 0:08:08Oh, sorry.

0:08:08 > 0:08:11I didn't mean to trouble you. I'll be leaving then.

0:08:11 > 0:08:14No, please, my apologies.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18- Am I not too late? - No. Not at all.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21I was just, um... Never mind.

0:08:21 > 0:08:25- Please, come in, Miss... - Hand.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28But of course, you knew that. Iphigenia Hand.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31- It's a pleasure. - Oh, all mine.

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- I'm most sure. - Oh.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34Please, sit.

0:08:34 > 0:08:38Oh, I'll stand, if you don't mind, Mr Sleight?

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Yes. I must say, you are quite everything I expected.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Oh, and what might that be?

0:08:44 > 0:08:46Oh, that would be telling.

0:08:46 > 0:08:51Miss Hand, delicately, deliberately removes her lace gloves

0:08:51 > 0:08:54with a palpable sense of purpose.

0:08:54 > 0:08:58The image of the metaphorical gauntlet thrown down

0:08:58 > 0:09:00not for a moment lost on Mr Sleight.

0:09:00 > 0:09:03In truth, he found it a little obvious.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05And smiled, a fleeting smile,

0:09:05 > 0:09:08made all the more potent through its brevity.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Like the final sigh of a sexually charged mayfly.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13A sexually charged Victorian mayfly,

0:09:13 > 0:09:17who has been taught that such displays are scandalous,

0:09:17 > 0:09:21shameful, but damn it all, a mayfly can only endure for so long,

0:09:21 > 0:09:23and so, we throw caution to the wind

0:09:23 > 0:09:26and wantonly remove her gloves to any gentleman mayfly she pleases,

0:09:26 > 0:09:29laying bare indecently slender fingers

0:09:29 > 0:09:33in all their soft, pink glory.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36May I take your glove?

0:09:36 > 0:09:37You may.

0:09:38 > 0:09:41And my watch, Miss Hand.

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Quite impressive.

0:09:47 > 0:09:52Nonetheless, most impressive for an amateur.

0:09:52 > 0:09:54Looking for this, Mr Sleight?

0:09:54 > 0:09:57What did you say your name was again?

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Iphigenia Hand.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02Whose ancestry was not necessarily Greek,

0:10:02 > 0:10:04but most definitely tragic.

0:10:04 > 0:10:08My father was serious, my mother imperious, my cousins impetuous,

0:10:08 > 0:10:10my uncles quite lecherous, my nieces vainglorious,

0:10:10 > 0:10:14my nephews notorious, grandparents gone and good name long squandered.

0:10:14 > 0:10:18The family as a whole maintains that sophisticated damp tang

0:10:18 > 0:10:19of mouldering aristocracy.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23Blue blood running deep through blue veins like vintage Stilton

0:10:23 > 0:10:26laced with the unmistakable air of always being just on the turn.

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Where something could still be salvaged perhaps,

0:10:29 > 0:10:31but all is undisputedly past its best.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34So now, when people ask me where I'm from,

0:10:34 > 0:10:36I tell them I was raised by gypsies.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39So, where are you from?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41I was raised by gypsies.

0:10:41 > 0:10:43Touche, Miss Hand, touche.

0:10:43 > 0:10:47Well, do you not think it proper for a lady to retain

0:10:47 > 0:10:52some air of mystery, a mystique, especially in our profession.

0:10:52 > 0:10:56From one's audience, yes, but from one's partner...

0:10:56 > 0:10:59Oh, I am to be your partner then!

0:10:59 > 0:11:00One task remained.

0:11:00 > 0:11:04To break the news to Iphigenia's parents.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06She knew that without her family's

0:11:06 > 0:11:09sincere and heartfelt condemnation of her chosen path,

0:11:09 > 0:11:12she could never feel truly at ease.

0:11:12 > 0:11:16Iphigenia rapped thrice upon the foreboding oak.

0:11:16 > 0:11:17KNOCKING

0:11:20 > 0:11:21Oh.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26Rapped thrice upon the foreboding oak.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28KNOCKING

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Iphigenia's father was a kindly man,

0:11:30 > 0:11:33straight-backed and proud-whiskered,

0:11:33 > 0:11:37once radical, now tempered with the sagacity of late...

0:11:37 > 0:11:39COUGHS ..early middle age.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43Still, the twinkle in his eye remained more puckish than avuncular

0:11:43 > 0:11:45and if found in the right mood

0:11:45 > 0:11:47would surely take his daughter's seeming rebellion

0:11:47 > 0:11:49as a fitting tribute. However...

0:11:50 > 0:11:53..it was her mother who came to the door.

0:11:55 > 0:11:56SQUEAKING

0:11:56 > 0:12:00Darling...what a wonderful surprise.

0:12:00 > 0:12:03- Mother. - This is so unexpected.

0:12:04 > 0:12:07Her mother possessed a high, reedy voice,

0:12:07 > 0:12:10lilting with its Mediterranean ancestry,

0:12:10 > 0:12:14but run through with the unmistakable notes of Bow Bells

0:12:14 > 0:12:18and the remnants of a crippling lisp that had plagued her formative years.

0:12:19 > 0:12:21A strange, stooped woman.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26With a club foot, but a ballerina's grace,

0:12:26 > 0:12:30she would scuttle, float and spin across a room

0:12:30 > 0:12:34with a strange, ethereal air that seemed more animal and human.

0:12:34 > 0:12:38A sight that truly must be seen to be believed.

0:12:38 > 0:12:43Er, let, er... Let me see if your father's in.

0:12:43 > 0:12:44He wasn't.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46Are you sure?

0:12:46 > 0:12:50Oh, Mother, we have so much to talk about.

0:12:50 > 0:12:52At length.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Walk with me.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56And yet tragically, we are never to know

0:12:56 > 0:12:59what they discussed that fateful day,

0:12:59 > 0:13:02both parties refusing to speak of the incident again.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05Whatever the details, the outcome was clear.

0:13:05 > 0:13:09And Iphigenia received the denunciation she so sorely desired,

0:13:09 > 0:13:13leaving her free to pursue her life on the stage unimpeded.

0:13:13 > 0:13:16MUSIC HALL MUSIC PLAYS

0:13:23 > 0:13:24WOLF WHISTLE

0:13:25 > 0:13:27WOLF WHISTLE

0:13:32 > 0:13:34AUDIENCE SHRIEKS

0:13:45 > 0:13:47WOLF WHISTLE

0:14:18 > 0:14:19APPLAUSE

0:14:28 > 0:14:30APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:14:34 > 0:14:39Ladies and gentlemen, the enchanting Iphigenia Hand.

0:14:39 > 0:14:41- And the amazing Edward... - Edwin.

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Edwin what?

0:14:43 > 0:14:44Let's see, shall we?

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Oh.

0:14:46 > 0:14:47GASPS

0:14:52 > 0:14:55And the astounding Edwin Sleight.

0:14:55 > 0:14:58BOTH: Godspeed. God bless.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01To you all, good night!

0:15:01 > 0:15:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:09 > 0:15:11Did they...?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13- Did they really just...? - I think they did.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Is it always like this?

0:15:16 > 0:15:18Hm? Oh, yes, yes.

0:15:18 > 0:15:21Every audience is, er...

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Well, there's always variations.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Is it customary to...? Shall we toast?

0:15:26 > 0:15:29Oh, are there people we're meant to see?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32Will they want to see us, the people?

0:15:32 > 0:15:34I'm not sure which people exactly, but...

0:15:34 > 0:15:37Yes, there may very well be people.

0:15:37 > 0:15:39And would they want us to...?

0:15:40 > 0:15:44Oh. Oh, do you think maybe there aren't people?

0:15:44 > 0:15:49It's very hard to say, really. Maybe we maintained a sense of illusion.

0:15:49 > 0:15:52A mystique, if we...

0:15:52 > 0:15:54A little mystique never hurt anyone.

0:15:54 > 0:15:55Precisely.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58Well, good night, Mr Sleight.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02Good night, Miss Hand.

0:16:02 > 0:16:03Good night!

0:16:04 > 0:16:07Extra, extra, see the stunts of our magic duo!

0:16:07 > 0:16:10Sleight and Hand leave London spellbound.

0:16:10 > 0:16:11Most enchanting evening.

0:16:11 > 0:16:15You'll laugh, you'll gasp, you won't believe your eyes.

0:16:15 > 0:16:17Three dead in Cheapside fire.

0:16:17 > 0:16:18- Huh? - I mean,

0:16:18 > 0:16:21double the delight with new illusion show.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24Oh, success, it seemed, was to come overnight.

0:16:24 > 0:16:27As if it could come in any other way.

0:16:27 > 0:16:29This was the night the city could not sleep.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32Its mind still racing from the wonders it had seen.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35No rest for Edwin or Iphigenia either.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37And now this worry had kept them from their beds.

0:16:37 > 0:16:41A worry they now discovered to be joyously unfounded.

0:16:41 > 0:16:45And as yet unknown to them, another figure stalked the moonlight.

0:16:45 > 0:16:49Footfalls, soft as shadows, their actions no less impossible.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51But thanks to the antics of the Playhouse,

0:16:51 > 0:16:53had been pushed from the front page.

0:16:53 > 0:16:55Jewel thief strikes city!

0:16:55 > 0:16:58Diamonds disappear from the duchess's ball.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01No connection. None to the untrained eye.

0:17:01 > 0:17:02But those of Scotland Yard

0:17:02 > 0:17:06build their careers from joining unexpected dots.

0:17:06 > 0:17:09And the following morning, Edwin and Iphigenia

0:17:09 > 0:17:11were to receive an unexpected visit.

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Oh.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14Jeremy.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17A g-g-gentleman to see you, sir.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- A gentleman? - Y-Y-Yes, sir.

0:17:19 > 0:17:23An inspector, sir, from S-S-Scotland Y-Yard.

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Oh, well, send him in, send him in.

0:17:26 > 0:17:27Y-Y-Yes, sir.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Mr Sleight? - Yes.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36Inspector McCaffrey.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Scotland Yard.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41What can I do for you, Inspector?

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Well, sir, that rather remains to be seen.

0:17:44 > 0:17:48Perhaps it would be better if I could speak to you both at once.

0:17:48 > 0:17:51Your good self and your partner.

0:17:51 > 0:17:53- My partner? - A Miss Hand?

0:17:53 > 0:17:55Oh, my assistant.

0:17:55 > 0:17:57Your partner, yes.

0:17:57 > 0:18:00Of course. Er, Miss Hand?

0:18:01 > 0:18:03Miss Hand.

0:18:03 > 0:18:06Well, I'm sure she's here somewhere.

0:18:06 > 0:18:08Please, take a seat.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11- Thank you. - You called?

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Oh, Miss Hand.

0:18:14 > 0:18:16Inspector McCaffrey.

0:18:17 > 0:18:20Iphigenia Hand. It's a pleasure.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22The inspector has come from Scotland Yard.

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Oh, my. No problems here, I trust.

0:18:25 > 0:18:28No, ma'am, quite the opposite, in fact.

0:18:28 > 0:18:32The opposite? I'm afraid I don't understand.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35Did something happen last night at the theatre?

0:18:35 > 0:18:37Not at the theatre, no.

0:18:37 > 0:18:41Oh, well, I must say, you're being very mysterious, Inspector.

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Edwin, don't be rude.

0:18:43 > 0:18:47I assure you, sir, that was not my intent.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51Of course it wasn't. Can we get you anything, Inspector? Tea?

0:18:51 > 0:18:52Oh, no.

0:18:52 > 0:18:54Not if it's any bother.

0:18:54 > 0:18:57No, it's no bother at all. Percy, Percy!

0:18:57 > 0:19:02- I don't think Percy is in today. - Oh, of course not.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Doris?

0:19:07 > 0:19:08Right...

0:19:19 > 0:19:21- Yes, Miss? - Tea for three, please.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24Of course, Miss. Sugar, Inspector?

0:19:25 > 0:19:27- No, thank you. - Any cakes, Miss?

0:19:27 > 0:19:30No, thank you, Doris.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33Any cakes for you, Inspector?

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- No, thank you. - Righto.

0:19:35 > 0:19:36Oh, any scones for you?

0:19:36 > 0:19:38That will be all, thank you, Doris.

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Of course, Miss, thank you, Miss.

0:19:41 > 0:19:42Thank you, Inspector.

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Thank you, Doris.

0:19:45 > 0:19:48Wonderful. So, if we are all settled...

0:19:48 > 0:19:51Yes, Inspector, what exactly brings you here?

0:19:51 > 0:19:53A request for your expertise.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Not made by us, I feel duty bound to add,

0:19:56 > 0:20:00but a direct appeal from the Duchess of Bedford herself.

0:20:00 > 0:20:01- From who? - The Duchess of Bedford.

0:20:01 > 0:20:04Oh, gosh, I remember, dreadful woman, awful,

0:20:04 > 0:20:07likes to patronise the Playhouse at their fundraising galas

0:20:07 > 0:20:10with "patronise" being the operative word.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Aye, sir. Then you might also know

0:20:12 > 0:20:14that dreadful woman's patronage

0:20:14 > 0:20:17is the only thing keeping this theatre open.

0:20:17 > 0:20:21- So, here we are. - My apologies, Inspector.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23Do go on.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25You said she requested our expertise.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Aye, Miss.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Last night, I'm sure you're aware,

0:20:29 > 0:20:32was the Duchess's annual Michaelmas Ball.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34- Of course. - We talk of little else.

0:20:34 > 0:20:38And no doubt you'll also know she was taking the opportunity

0:20:38 > 0:20:42to showcase the priceless Monta Rosa Diamond.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Long thought lost, recently discovered

0:20:44 > 0:20:47and now vanished once again.

0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Vanished? - You mean stolen.

0:20:49 > 0:20:54Perhaps, ma'am. But most certainly magicked away.

0:20:54 > 0:20:57And that of course is where you come in.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59My word!

0:20:59 > 0:21:01You can't think us responsible?

0:21:01 > 0:21:06No, sir, in fact, "who" is not the question at all, but rather "how".

0:21:06 > 0:21:11And that is why the Duchess wanted you, as experts in the impossible.

0:21:11 > 0:21:14Oh, well, you flatter us, Inspector.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16Please, carry on.

0:21:16 > 0:21:21Thank you. As I say, the culprit is no great mystery at all.

0:21:21 > 0:21:24She even left a calling card.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26The Lady Electra, gentle woman thief.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28Oh, thank you, Inspector.

0:21:28 > 0:21:30It's a pleasure, Inspector.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33But how? How is the question at hand.

0:21:33 > 0:21:38During the daytime, the jewels are locked behind six inches of steel

0:21:38 > 0:21:41and guarded by men with iron rods, Inspector.

0:21:41 > 0:21:45Inspector, the jewel itself is set in a silver necklace,

0:21:45 > 0:21:47sealed in an airtight glass case

0:21:47 > 0:21:51and flanked by two stout guards that never leave its side.

0:21:51 > 0:21:55- Isn't that right, Inspector? - Absolutely, Inspector.

0:21:55 > 0:21:57The evening goes without a hitch

0:21:57 > 0:22:00until finally the Duchess ascends the grand staircase

0:22:00 > 0:22:04ready to raise a glass, thank her guests and bid all a good night.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07But before she can speak, suddenly someone cries out...

0:22:07 > 0:22:09Do you have the transcript, Inspector?

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Indeed I do, Inspector.

0:22:11 > 0:22:14The jewels, they cry. Look at the diamond.

0:22:14 > 0:22:17And there it is, still within its glass case, but now glowing

0:22:17 > 0:22:22bright and hot-cold, bright as the fires of hell themselves.

0:22:22 > 0:22:23- The Duchess screams. - Aargh!

0:22:23 > 0:22:28Panic descends, but after a minute or two, the flame dies out,

0:22:28 > 0:22:32the glass case filled with smoke, but otherwise unharmed.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34And then the key...

0:22:34 > 0:22:36That's right, the key is fixed.

0:22:36 > 0:22:39The one key that has been held by the Duchess all evening.

0:22:39 > 0:22:44The case is flung open. A cloud of noxious gases belch out.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46The smoke clears and there within

0:22:46 > 0:22:48the twisted remnants of the silver casing,

0:22:48 > 0:22:51but the diamond nowhere to be seen!

0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Gosh! - Very thorough, Inspective.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Inspect-or.

0:22:57 > 0:22:58Inspector.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01Well, we'll see what we can do.

0:23:01 > 0:23:06Truth be told, the Monte Rosa was no stranger to mayhem and mystery.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08Magic flowed through it as much as it did through

0:23:08 > 0:23:09the veins of Edwin or Iphigenia.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13An observation the likes of which Mr Sleight was wont to make,

0:23:13 > 0:23:17receiving sage nods and considered hummings from the constabulary.

0:23:17 > 0:23:21And yet when Miss Hand was unfortunate enough to comment...

0:23:21 > 0:23:23SHE CHUCKLES Hardly surprising!

0:23:23 > 0:23:27Of course, I'm sure you must have heard the damn jewel is cursed.

0:23:27 > 0:23:28Cursed, ma'am?

0:23:28 > 0:23:30Well, that's what they say, isn't it?

0:23:30 > 0:23:34I assure you, Miss, that is not what they say at the Yard.

0:23:34 > 0:23:37Oh, well, I only meant that, of course, I don't believe...

0:23:37 > 0:23:40Please! There's no need to get hysterical.

0:23:40 > 0:23:41I am NOT getting...!

0:23:41 > 0:23:42Calm yourself, woman!

0:23:44 > 0:23:45Can you believe that?

0:23:45 > 0:23:48You really needn't worry, Inspector...

0:23:48 > 0:23:51All this conjuring talk, sir, it befuddles the enfeebled female mind.

0:23:51 > 0:23:54Oh, that's not my experience, Inspector.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58But hard for you to see it, sir! A great man such as yourself.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01Oh, well, that's very kind of you to say so, Inspector.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03But they're talking of women in the Force these days!

0:24:03 > 0:24:04If you believe it.

0:24:04 > 0:24:07But this is the modern age we live in.

0:24:07 > 0:24:12Do you know, I once saw a horse that was taught to perform calculus.

0:24:12 > 0:24:14No, sir?! Is that so, sir?

0:24:14 > 0:24:17I swear it. Barnstaple, I think was.

0:24:17 > 0:24:19And you saw it with your own eyes?

0:24:19 > 0:24:20Indeed.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22Straight from the horse's mouth.

0:24:22 > 0:24:24CHUCKLING

0:24:24 > 0:24:26Gentlemen!

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Whoo... Erm...

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Don't you worry your pretty little self about it, Miss.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34We'll get to the bottom of this in a jiffy.

0:24:34 > 0:24:39And they were not to hear from the inspector again for quite some time.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Indeed.

0:24:40 > 0:24:42Yes...

0:24:42 > 0:24:47Such exchanges were not uncommon for the young Iphigenia...

0:24:47 > 0:24:52Cursed as she was with the twin afflictions of youth and beauty.

0:24:52 > 0:24:54Truly fatal to the fairer sex.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57And though such sleights still smarted,

0:24:57 > 0:25:00they would not distract her from the task at hand.

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Oh, that's very good.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04"Sleights", "at hand".

0:25:04 > 0:25:06It was funny, because you're...

0:25:06 > 0:25:07- Mm. - And I'm...

0:25:07 > 0:25:08- Oh. - Oh, never mind.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11No, er... Nothing was to distract her from...

0:25:11 > 0:25:13- The diamond! - The diamond, yes.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16The Monte Rosa diamond.

0:25:16 > 0:25:17TING!

0:25:17 > 0:25:20More information was required - that much was clear.

0:25:20 > 0:25:21And so...

0:25:21 > 0:25:24a visit was planned to the grieving duchess,

0:25:24 > 0:25:27still inconsolable at her loss.

0:25:27 > 0:25:31Perhaps you might wait outside for this one, Miss Hand.

0:25:31 > 0:25:33No need for us both to go in.

0:25:33 > 0:25:34I thought you couldn't stand her.

0:25:34 > 0:25:36No, but given the circumstances...

0:25:36 > 0:25:37What circumstances?

0:25:37 > 0:25:40It might just be easier if I were to -

0:25:40 > 0:25:43alone, it would enable you to...

0:25:43 > 0:25:45You would be available to be the...

0:25:45 > 0:25:47Please, Mr Sleight, I insist.

0:25:47 > 0:25:51You Ladyship!

0:25:51 > 0:25:52Coming!

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Thank you so much for meeting me.

0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh, er, not at all, Miss...?

0:26:03 > 0:26:07Hand. Miss Iphigenia Hand.

0:26:07 > 0:26:08It's an honour, ma'am.

0:26:08 > 0:26:12I must say, I was hoping to speak to your superior -

0:26:12 > 0:26:14Mr Sleight.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16He sends his apologies.

0:26:16 > 0:26:17Yes.

0:26:17 > 0:26:20I'm sure he's very sorry indeed.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Maybe we could begin with...

0:26:22 > 0:26:23Such a charming man.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27Yes. Now, to begin, if I could ask you about the...

0:26:27 > 0:26:30And SO handsome.

0:26:30 > 0:26:33If we could just focus on the diamond, your Ladyship.

0:26:33 > 0:26:34Oh, as you wish.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38Perhaps we could go right back to the very beginning.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39The beginning?

0:26:39 > 0:26:42If you could. And please don't leave anything out.

0:26:42 > 0:26:44Ah, very well, then.

0:26:44 > 0:26:46The beginning.

0:26:46 > 0:26:48Why, that takes us back almost a hundred years.

0:26:48 > 0:26:521754, that's when the jewel first came to my family -

0:26:52 > 0:26:55or back 500 more if you want the very start.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57That's when the natives first discovered it.

0:26:57 > 0:27:01And of course they'd been hacking each other apart over it ever since.

0:27:01 > 0:27:04All that changed once my great-grandfather came along.

0:27:04 > 0:27:07He struck some landmark deal with the East India Company,

0:27:07 > 0:27:08and it was his reward.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10- And... - Well, yes, of course it upset them.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Greatly peeved the local Maha-whatsit, their ruling chappie.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16But you can't make an empire without breaking heads.

0:27:16 > 0:27:17Oh, they...

0:27:17 > 0:27:21..did have rather an odd name for it, yes, you're absolutely right.

0:27:21 > 0:27:22The Blood Rock,

0:27:22 > 0:27:24on account of all those lives lost,

0:27:24 > 0:27:27and the reddish hue the stone possesses.

0:27:27 > 0:27:28If I could...

0:27:28 > 0:27:30I agree, it looks far more pink to me, too.

0:27:30 > 0:27:33It was my great-grandfather who re-christened it the Monte Rosa

0:27:33 > 0:27:35and had it reset.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38A far more civilised title, I'm sure you'll agree.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40- But... - Then it disappeared, yes.

0:27:40 > 0:27:45The curse, they called it. Seems no family could hold on to it for long.

0:27:45 > 0:27:48Lost at sea somewhere in the South Atlantic in a great storm

0:27:48 > 0:27:51- some five years later. - But...

0:27:51 > 0:27:53My great-grandfather sunk with it, that's right.

0:27:53 > 0:27:57Though why you dwell so callously on such tragedy is beyond me!

0:27:57 > 0:27:58- If I could... - Oh, very well.

0:27:58 > 0:28:00- I accept your apology. - Oh, I...

0:28:00 > 0:28:02And don't grovel, girl, it's quite unseemly.

0:28:02 > 0:28:05- But... - And don't rush me, either.

0:28:05 > 0:28:09Besides, that was the last anyone heard of it for almost a century.

0:28:09 > 0:28:12Until, quite out of the blue,

0:28:12 > 0:28:16a merchant sailor called at the door and requested an audience.

0:28:16 > 0:28:19He'd been trawling for his own lost cargo,

0:28:19 > 0:28:22and by some inexplicable stroke of fortune

0:28:22 > 0:28:25had discovered the stone instead.

0:28:25 > 0:28:26His cousin was a jeweller, you see,

0:28:26 > 0:28:28and he recognised the locket

0:28:28 > 0:28:31from some old sketches we'd had made at the time -

0:28:31 > 0:28:34sketches I knew only too well.

0:28:34 > 0:28:36- But... - Of course I didn't buy it from him!

0:28:36 > 0:28:37The jewel was mine to begin with.

0:28:37 > 0:28:39He was happy enough to hand it over.

0:28:39 > 0:28:42He did suggest I could make some charitable donation as thanks,

0:28:42 > 0:28:44should I feel so inclined.

0:28:44 > 0:28:46And now, after all this mess, I thank the Lord I have not.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48- And even... - Miss Hand!

0:28:48 > 0:28:51Do not dare presume to put words in my mouth.

0:28:51 > 0:28:56Your dashing superior Mr Sleight would never be so contemptuous.

0:28:56 > 0:28:59- I... - Do be sure to send HIM next time.

0:28:59 > 0:29:01- If I could... - Excuses, excuses.

0:29:01 > 0:29:02And don't forget, Miss Hand,

0:29:02 > 0:29:06it is my good fortune that directly funds yours.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09Should you wish to continue with your little performances at the

0:29:09 > 0:29:14theatre, I'd suggest this mystery is solved as quickly...as...

0:29:14 > 0:29:15possible.

0:29:15 > 0:29:18- Of course, and... - Nothing else mysterious about it,

0:29:18 > 0:29:21no. Except for the box, I suppose.

0:29:21 > 0:29:24The box? AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS AND APPLAUDS

0:29:24 > 0:29:27Just an ordinary box.

0:29:27 > 0:29:30An absolutely ordinary box, Mr Sleight.

0:29:30 > 0:29:34And if you could demonstrate that for us, Miss Hand.

0:29:34 > 0:29:36With...pleasure.

0:29:36 > 0:29:37WOLF WHISTLE

0:29:37 > 0:29:42And it was in such a box that Her Ladyship received the diamond.

0:29:42 > 0:29:45A very similar box, Mr Sleight.

0:29:45 > 0:29:48A box especially constructed for the purpose.

0:29:48 > 0:29:50The purpose of protection?

0:29:50 > 0:29:51Indeed.

0:29:51 > 0:29:55Observe, if you will, the delicate filigree that surrounds the stone.

0:29:55 > 0:29:57To prevent oxidisation,

0:29:57 > 0:30:00the jewels are hermetically sealed within the case.

0:30:03 > 0:30:05Quite impenetrable.

0:30:05 > 0:30:08Unquestionably impenetrable, Mr Sleight.

0:30:08 > 0:30:10And yet one need only say the magic words...

0:30:10 > 0:30:12Grand Larceny!

0:30:12 > 0:30:16A-a-a-and...

0:30:16 > 0:30:17SHE GASPS

0:30:17 > 0:30:19The diamond is nowhere to be seen.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21APPLAUSE

0:30:21 > 0:30:24Very impressive, Mr Sleight.

0:30:24 > 0:30:26But this is just a trick, after all.

0:30:26 > 0:30:28An illusion, Inspector.

0:30:28 > 0:30:31And the Duchess' box was nothing like this one.

0:30:31 > 0:30:33For illustrative purposes only.

0:30:33 > 0:30:35We tore the original apart -

0:30:35 > 0:30:38had our best men deconstructing it piece by piece.

0:30:38 > 0:30:43No mirrors, no hidden compartments, no jewel, sir,

0:30:43 > 0:30:45lodged in any deep corner.

0:30:45 > 0:30:47Any secrets, we would have discovered them.

0:30:47 > 0:30:51There WAS something unusual, though, wasn't there, Inspector?

0:30:51 > 0:30:52In the base.

0:30:52 > 0:30:55Canisters, grilles - a ventilation system,

0:30:55 > 0:30:58all to do with protecting the silver.

0:30:58 > 0:31:00The Duchess had it all explained to her -

0:31:00 > 0:31:04it's to do with moisture or air pressure, or...ugh.

0:31:04 > 0:31:08Unusual, yes, but nothing untoward about it.

0:31:08 > 0:31:10If you insist, Inspector.

0:31:10 > 0:31:11But if you'll indulge me,

0:31:11 > 0:31:14would you like to see another disappearing trick?

0:31:14 > 0:31:15You're indulged, sir.

0:31:15 > 0:31:17Observe.

0:31:25 > 0:31:27Have you lost your senses?!

0:31:27 > 0:31:29Mm! Delicious.

0:31:29 > 0:31:32To solve this mystery, Inspector, you needn't consult jewellers,

0:31:32 > 0:31:35boxmakers or even magicians -

0:31:35 > 0:31:38merely your local confectioner.

0:31:38 > 0:31:42A boiled sweet - that was Mr Sleight's theory.

0:31:42 > 0:31:45Sugar, treated correctly - heated correctly, worked with -

0:31:45 > 0:31:49at a precise temperature, could set clear as glass.

0:31:49 > 0:31:53Clear as diamond, should it not be handled too closely.

0:31:53 > 0:31:55The case, then, was a double blessing.

0:31:55 > 0:31:58It prevented any nearby from getting sticky fingers,

0:31:58 > 0:32:03but also, in his opinion, held the secret to the jewel's disappearance.

0:32:03 > 0:32:06The base did not remove moisture,

0:32:06 > 0:32:09but could deliver a jet of superheated steam

0:32:09 > 0:32:10from the canisters -

0:32:10 > 0:32:13enough to dissolve all trace of the sugar diamond.

0:32:13 > 0:32:17The real jewel, of course, having been switched at some earlier date.

0:32:17 > 0:32:20Edwin, ever impressed by his own genius,

0:32:20 > 0:32:24expected nothing but slack-jawed admiration from the Yard,

0:32:24 > 0:32:26music to his ears - to be told...

0:32:26 > 0:32:29Utter codswallop, sir, of the highest order.

0:32:29 > 0:32:31Edwin was given no further opportunity

0:32:31 > 0:32:34to explain or finesse his theory,

0:32:34 > 0:32:37and quite unceremoniously was informed...

0:32:37 > 0:32:41Duchess or no, your services are no longer required.

0:32:41 > 0:32:44Despite the mystery remaining resolutely unsolved.

0:32:44 > 0:32:46And yet...

0:32:46 > 0:32:49A...letter for you, Inspector.

0:32:49 > 0:32:51- It's-It's just come through. - Where from?

0:32:51 > 0:32:53Oh, erm, no address, Inspector.

0:32:53 > 0:32:56It's quite mysterious, sir, you'll want to hear this.

0:32:56 > 0:32:58Well, go ahead then, lad.

0:32:58 > 0:33:00"Dear Inspector,

0:33:00 > 0:33:05"your magical consort hit closer to home than you might expect.

0:33:05 > 0:33:08"Of course, the first amongst us to sugar the pill were chemists,

0:33:08 > 0:33:10"not confectioners.

0:33:10 > 0:33:13"A way of making their medicines more palatable.

0:33:13 > 0:33:15"But to swallow this story you'll need an iron stomach -

0:33:15 > 0:33:17"not just a sweet tooth.

0:33:17 > 0:33:21"Potassium, sir, looks just like tarnished silver when freshly cut,

0:33:21 > 0:33:23"but it's far more volatile a thing.

0:33:23 > 0:33:27"Exposed to water, it burns - blazes like the sun,

0:33:27 > 0:33:32"quite hot enough to melt your sugar crystal in a matter of moments.

0:33:32 > 0:33:34"Your most humble of servants,

0:33:34 > 0:33:37"Gaslight Jackson."

0:33:37 > 0:33:39Gaslight Jackson?

0:33:39 > 0:33:42What kind of a ludicrous name is that?

0:33:42 > 0:33:44Well...

0:33:44 > 0:33:46"Gaslight Jackson -

0:33:46 > 0:33:51"lantern-jawed, steely-eyed scourge of villainy." Huh!

0:33:51 > 0:33:54"A blazing beacon of insight and ingenuity."

0:33:54 > 0:33:57Is that really what it says?

0:33:57 > 0:33:59Lantern-jawed and steely-eyed?

0:33:59 > 0:34:02Except, of course, he's never been seen without his mask.

0:34:02 > 0:34:04Or any closer than a hundred yards away.

0:34:04 > 0:34:08- Must be a most penetrative gaze. - Indeed.

0:34:08 > 0:34:12"6'6" at least, gravel-toned..."

0:34:12 > 0:34:13Steel AND gravel?

0:34:13 > 0:34:15"..and a rugged, craggy..."

0:34:15 > 0:34:18Is this a character sketch or a geological survey?

0:34:18 > 0:34:20Your point, Miss Hand?

0:34:20 > 0:34:22Well, it's absurd, isn't it?

0:34:22 > 0:34:26These fantasies the press creates.

0:34:26 > 0:34:29He could be a hunchbacked oaf or a pimple-faced schoolboy

0:34:29 > 0:34:30for all we know.

0:34:30 > 0:34:32Yes, or lantern-jawed and steely-eyed.

0:34:32 > 0:34:34I suppose.

0:34:34 > 0:34:37Whoever he is, most fortunate he should arrive to save the day

0:34:37 > 0:34:41just as the Yard and the Duchess were losing patience with us.

0:34:41 > 0:34:44His reasoning seemed much the along the same lines as yours.

0:34:44 > 0:34:46Yes, most fortunate indeed.

0:34:46 > 0:34:49Nothing, of course, compared to...

0:34:49 > 0:34:51"The Lady Electra,

0:34:51 > 0:34:53"gentlewoman thief.

0:34:53 > 0:34:59"Enchanting, enigmatic, dastardly and desirable in equal measure."

0:34:59 > 0:35:02A brilliant mind, however warped.

0:35:02 > 0:35:05Potassium and a boiled sweet!

0:35:05 > 0:35:06Quite remarkable, yes.

0:35:06 > 0:35:09Your family made their money in the sugar trade,

0:35:09 > 0:35:10did they not? SHE GULPS

0:35:10 > 0:35:12What little they ever did.

0:35:12 > 0:35:14Not that I would have had any notion...

0:35:14 > 0:35:15Oh, don't apologise.

0:35:15 > 0:35:17We both should have deduced it sooner.

0:35:17 > 0:35:20Ingenious, all the same.

0:35:20 > 0:35:24"The femme fatale, whose scandalous and secretive nature

0:35:24 > 0:35:28"has led many to believe that she may be some well known -

0:35:28 > 0:35:32"though potentially deformed - member of the aristocracy."

0:35:32 > 0:35:35My point exactly - pure conjecture, not a shred of evidence in any of it.

0:35:35 > 0:35:38Well, then again, you can't fault the logic.

0:35:38 > 0:35:40Beautiful women don't hide away.

0:35:40 > 0:35:46No - they must be seen. It is their raison d'etre to be admired, adored.

0:35:46 > 0:35:48She is admired, is she not?

0:35:48 > 0:35:50Yes, but not for her beauty.

0:35:50 > 0:35:51If she were a Helen of Troy

0:35:51 > 0:35:54she wouldn't have to go to all this trouble -

0:35:54 > 0:35:56she'd have all the attention she needed.

0:35:56 > 0:36:00No, believe me, I don't look unkindly upon an unattractive woman,

0:36:00 > 0:36:03Miss Hand, for through their plainness,

0:36:03 > 0:36:05they find a far greater motivation.

0:36:05 > 0:36:09I'd no idea you were such an expert on the female mind.

0:36:09 > 0:36:14No. Expert? Only an enthusiastic student.

0:36:14 > 0:36:16Please, you needn't take offence

0:36:16 > 0:36:20on behalf of your lesser-blessed sisters, Miss Hand.

0:36:20 > 0:36:23Of course, this is just my point.

0:36:23 > 0:36:24You wouldn't understand,

0:36:24 > 0:36:28for one such as you would clearly never wear a mask.

0:36:28 > 0:36:30You were not made for the shadows, Miss Hand.

0:36:30 > 0:36:33What makes you so sure?

0:36:33 > 0:36:36For one as beauteous as you...

0:36:36 > 0:36:40So now you flatter me by saying I have no ambition?

0:36:40 > 0:36:41That was your argument, was it not?

0:36:41 > 0:36:43No, I...I...believe...

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Please, much depends upon your diagnosis.

0:36:45 > 0:36:47Am I a show pony for display

0:36:47 > 0:36:50or an old cart horse to be trotted out to work?

0:36:50 > 0:36:51No, I never said...

0:36:51 > 0:36:54Shall we put ribbons in my mane or blinkers over my eyes?

0:36:54 > 0:36:56Just so long as you may find the best use for me.

0:36:56 > 0:36:58I-I apologise, I misspoke...

0:36:58 > 0:37:01I am more than set dressing, am I not?

0:37:01 > 0:37:03More than an elegant solution?

0:37:03 > 0:37:06- Of course! - And we are partners, are we not?

0:37:06 > 0:37:07Yes.

0:37:07 > 0:37:09Equals?

0:37:09 > 0:37:11Indeed.

0:37:11 > 0:37:15And yet we are "Sleight and Hand", not "Hand and Sleight".

0:37:15 > 0:37:17Oh, well, that's just a saying - you can't go...

0:37:17 > 0:37:21No, because clearly one must not put the horse before the ass.

0:37:21 > 0:37:22Oh, please...!

0:37:22 > 0:37:24I think I might have an early night.

0:37:24 > 0:37:27Wouldn't want to look too tired for the crowds, after all.

0:37:27 > 0:37:29Unforgivable, in my position.

0:37:30 > 0:37:32Ugh! Good night...

0:37:32 > 0:37:34Mr Sleight.

0:37:34 > 0:37:37Good night, Miss Hand.

0:37:37 > 0:37:38RAIN PATTERS

0:37:38 > 0:37:39HE SIGHS

0:37:41 > 0:37:46Tensions grew between HAND and SLEIGHT.

0:37:46 > 0:37:50And soon their bickering began to make its way on stage.

0:37:50 > 0:37:52PIANO PLAYS

0:37:52 > 0:37:53APPLAUSE

0:37:55 > 0:37:58If men be truly gentle and heedful of their ladies' need...

0:37:58 > 0:38:00And what need would that be, Mr Sleight?

0:38:00 > 0:38:04With tempers temperamental, pray caution now...

0:38:04 > 0:38:07Indeed, to caution any man who deems his lady needs him.

0:38:07 > 0:38:09Miss Hand!

0:38:09 > 0:38:11No, call it not misandry, merely sense.

0:38:11 > 0:38:14And ladies, vow to treat your husbands hence -

0:38:14 > 0:38:18pray always flatter, always be demure, your triumphs his,

0:38:18 > 0:38:19and all his fallings yours.

0:38:19 > 0:38:24Remember, count your blessings and be sure to blow him kisses

0:38:24 > 0:38:28as he walks out the door.

0:38:28 > 0:38:32Ladies, I give you the housewife's delight.

0:38:34 > 0:38:36LAUGHTER

0:38:37 > 0:38:40You cannot just decide - you have no right!

0:38:40 > 0:38:42The audience were entertained, were they not?

0:38:42 > 0:38:44That does not give you carte blanche to...

0:38:44 > 0:38:45Oh. PIANO PLAYS

0:38:48 > 0:38:50Another trick.

0:38:50 > 0:38:53If I could take a note from your wallet, Mr Sleight.

0:38:53 > 0:38:54Of course, Miss Hand.

0:38:54 > 0:38:57A trick all husbands will be familiar with.

0:38:57 > 0:39:01In a matter of moments, she can make its entire contents disappear.

0:39:01 > 0:39:03LAUGHTER

0:39:03 > 0:39:06And yet I bow to the master - Mr Sleight,

0:39:06 > 0:39:10who with his presence alone can make whole rooms of ladies...

0:39:10 > 0:39:12vanish. LAUGHTER

0:39:12 > 0:39:13Very good.

0:39:13 > 0:39:16Now, for this next section of our performance,

0:39:16 > 0:39:19it is vital that Miss Hand remains absolutely...

0:39:19 > 0:39:21silent.

0:39:21 > 0:39:23This has no bearing at all on the trick,

0:39:23 > 0:39:25merely my sanity.

0:39:25 > 0:39:27I believe what Mr Sleight means is...

0:39:27 > 0:39:31Alas, no, it seems that would require a miracle beyond even my talents.

0:39:31 > 0:39:32LAUGHTER

0:39:32 > 0:39:35I...erm...

0:39:35 > 0:39:38I...er...ooh...

0:39:38 > 0:39:40Can it be true?

0:39:40 > 0:39:45Ladies and gentlemen, my greatest achievement!

0:39:45 > 0:39:46The eighth Wonder of the World,

0:39:46 > 0:39:48a silent woman!

0:39:48 > 0:39:51LAUGHTER

0:39:51 > 0:39:52APPLAUSE

0:39:52 > 0:39:54I cannot believe you.

0:39:54 > 0:39:57The audience were entertained, were they not?

0:39:57 > 0:39:59That is not the point!

0:39:59 > 0:40:02Then, pray, tell me, what is, Miss Hand?

0:40:02 > 0:40:06I will not be treated like a refuse. This can't go on!

0:40:06 > 0:40:08I agree! I...

0:40:08 > 0:40:10I-I...

0:40:10 > 0:40:11SHE WEEPS

0:40:11 > 0:40:14I do. I agree. I apologise.

0:40:17 > 0:40:18I'm sorry, too.

0:40:18 > 0:40:20Believe me,

0:40:20 > 0:40:24you mean far more to me than just a mere...

0:40:25 > 0:40:29And if I've struggled, it is only because, you...

0:40:31 > 0:40:36Miss Hand, these past few weeks, I can tell you,

0:40:36 > 0:40:39without any hesitation...

0:40:39 > 0:40:42The paper, dear. I thought you'd want to see it.

0:40:43 > 0:40:44Very well.

0:40:44 > 0:40:47COCKNEY ACCENT: "Chaos in the capital! London, once more,

0:40:47 > 0:40:49"thrown into turmoil by a..."

0:40:49 > 0:40:52Iphigenia, whatever are you doing?

0:40:52 > 0:40:56Oh, sorry, sir, I don't know what...come over me, sir.

0:40:56 > 0:40:57Hmm.

0:40:57 > 0:40:58Here. Let me read.

0:40:58 > 0:41:01Eh, "..thrown into turmoil

0:41:01 > 0:41:06"by another inexplicable act of brazen befuddlement,

0:41:06 > 0:41:09"perpetrated by none other than the elusive..."

0:41:09 > 0:41:13Of course! Who else?! Miss Hand!

0:41:13 > 0:41:14Yes, Mr Sleight.

0:41:14 > 0:41:17Oh. I believe this may interest you, as well.

0:41:17 > 0:41:18Too kind.

0:41:18 > 0:41:22Yes. Sleight and Hand were soon to learn that theirs were not the only

0:41:22 > 0:41:25problems in the city.

0:41:25 > 0:41:28Overnight, the Lady Electra had struck again and, as her notoriety

0:41:28 > 0:41:33spread, so, too, her crimes became more ingenious, more audacious,

0:41:33 > 0:41:34more baffling.

0:41:34 > 0:41:37More baffling still were the nature of said crimes.

0:41:37 > 0:41:39If you could even call them crimes, at all.

0:41:39 > 0:41:42- Indeed. Pranks, perhaps. - Jokes. Tricks.

0:41:42 > 0:41:43Illusions.

0:41:43 > 0:41:44Illusions, yes.

0:41:44 > 0:41:47And yet, an illusion suggests something unreal.

0:41:47 > 0:41:50And while these acts were inexplicable,

0:41:50 > 0:41:53they most certainly did occur.

0:41:53 > 0:41:56As many would bear witness.

0:41:56 > 0:41:58Ascot, Miss Hand!

0:41:58 > 0:42:01The highlight of the season, Mr Sleight.

0:42:01 > 0:42:04DISTANT THUNDER OF HOOVES

0:42:06 > 0:42:10- The ladies in their finery. - The gentlemen in their finery.

0:42:10 > 0:42:13- The horses in their finery. - The rabbits in their finery.

0:42:13 > 0:42:14I beg your pardon?

0:42:14 > 0:42:17Indeed! May I take your hat, Mr Sleight?

0:42:17 > 0:42:18Too kind, Miss Hand.

0:42:18 > 0:42:22So, you see, so it was when all the gentlemen in the Royal Box

0:42:22 > 0:42:26removed them, placing each, as was the custom, upon the ledge

0:42:26 > 0:42:27before them.

0:42:27 > 0:42:28There was a shuffling.

0:42:28 > 0:42:29A snuffling.

0:42:29 > 0:42:31And to their amazement...

0:42:31 > 0:42:32Oh, rabbits!

0:42:32 > 0:42:35A rabbit within every one!

0:42:35 > 0:42:37The young Queen stands, appalled by such effrontery.

0:42:37 > 0:42:40When, quite without warning, a whole host of hares

0:42:40 > 0:42:42dashes forth from beneath her underskirts.

0:42:42 > 0:42:45Argh! Pandemonium ensues!

0:42:45 > 0:42:48And when finally, one of the blighters is caught...

0:42:48 > 0:42:51- The legend on the collar, really. - The Lady Electra declares

0:42:51 > 0:42:52the game's afoot!

0:42:52 > 0:42:57And again, less than a fortnight later.

0:42:57 > 0:42:59The House of Commons, no less.

0:42:59 > 0:43:01The usual crying and clamouring.

0:43:01 > 0:43:05- Baying and braying. - Tears, jeers and assorted waffling.

0:43:05 > 0:43:07- Bah! - Bah!

0:43:07 > 0:43:09- Bah! - Ba-aah.

0:43:09 > 0:43:12And it takes quite a while, far longer, in truth,

0:43:12 > 0:43:15than any sane person would find credible...

0:43:15 > 0:43:17..to find, somehow,

0:43:17 > 0:43:21the back rows were now entirely filled with actual sheep.

0:43:21 > 0:43:22Ba-aah.

0:43:22 > 0:43:24Affixed to their underside a note that begs...

0:43:24 > 0:43:29"The Lady Electra prays you pull the wool from your eyes."

0:43:29 > 0:43:31Five nights after that,

0:43:31 > 0:43:34at the Midas Club on Threadneedle Street.

0:43:34 > 0:43:38Where the city's best and brightest come to lose what they can't spend

0:43:38 > 0:43:39and win what they don't need.

0:43:39 > 0:43:43The empty bottles worth more than most men's houses.

0:43:43 > 0:43:47To toast their ingenuity, being blessed with such good fortune.

0:43:47 > 0:43:49And, most of all...

0:43:49 > 0:43:52to play cards.

0:43:52 > 0:43:55Here, couched in dark oak and ox-blood leather,

0:43:55 > 0:43:58hearts are broken and diamonds snatched.

0:43:58 > 0:44:01Men are beaten the clubs or buried with spades.

0:44:01 > 0:44:04All with the finest trappings of civilisation.

0:44:04 > 0:44:07All to scratch the itch of want for those who want for nothing.

0:44:07 > 0:44:11- All for the win. - Always the win. Above all things.

0:44:11 > 0:44:15And yet, on the night in question, when their hands are dealt...

0:44:15 > 0:44:16..each man looks to his cards...

0:44:16 > 0:44:18- ..and feels that shiver... - ..that tingle...

0:44:18 > 0:44:21- ..that prickling of hairs... - ..quickening of pulse...

0:44:21 > 0:44:22- ..the thump of an animal heart

0:44:22 > 0:44:25straining against its Savile Row straitjacket.

0:44:25 > 0:44:28- But the face betrays nothing. - The benefits of breeding.

0:44:28 > 0:44:31They raise and counter raise, raise and raise again.

0:44:31 > 0:44:35Until, with a great ruddy-cheeked cry, each man declares...

0:44:35 > 0:44:37BOTH: Royal flush!

0:44:37 > 0:44:39..as each man lays down an identical hand.

0:44:39 > 0:44:40- Panic! - Confusion!

0:44:40 > 0:44:42- Accusation! - Voices raised.

0:44:42 > 0:44:44- Tempers fraught! - Explanations demanded!

0:44:44 > 0:44:45By men well versed in demanding them!

0:44:45 > 0:44:47Until, in a fit of rage,

0:44:47 > 0:44:50the expensively felted table is tipped over.

0:44:50 > 0:44:53And there, pinned to the underside, a solitary card declares...

0:44:53 > 0:44:56"The Lady Electra wishes you bonne chance."

0:44:56 > 0:45:00Remarkable, I must say. Quite remarkable.

0:45:00 > 0:45:04And yet, baffling as such acts were, they could not be impossible.

0:45:04 > 0:45:08The notion that they might be, the only impossibility.

0:45:08 > 0:45:12Given time, given thought, given the correct process of reason

0:45:12 > 0:45:16and deduction, logical progression and lateral leaps...

0:45:16 > 0:45:19..slowly but surely, the pieces would begin to fall into place -

0:45:19 > 0:45:23if not the who or even the why, then, gradually, the how.

0:45:23 > 0:45:27And yet, each time, just as Sleight and Hand were preparing to share

0:45:27 > 0:45:30the brilliance of their insight with the Yard...

0:45:30 > 0:45:33COCKNEY ACCENT: "Another letter for you, sir."

0:45:33 > 0:45:34SCOTTISH ACCENT: "Another one?"

0:45:34 > 0:45:37"Yes, sir, from the Gaslight gentleman, sir."

0:45:37 > 0:45:39"Let's have it."

0:45:39 > 0:45:41And, each time, with the same superior tone,

0:45:41 > 0:45:45the casual genius...declaring...

0:45:45 > 0:45:48Providing the seemingly irrelevant titbit that would somehow

0:45:48 > 0:45:51provide the key to the whole affair, declaring...

0:45:51 > 0:45:53"Look, Inspector, to the three

0:45:53 > 0:45:55"newly-replaced screws in the far right corner,

0:45:55 > 0:45:57"and the Duke of Cornwall's walnut allergy.

0:45:57 > 0:45:58Or...

0:45:58 > 0:46:01"Surely you haven't overlooked the June solstice?

0:46:01 > 0:46:04"And the Right Honourable Member for Chorley East's rugby accident?"

0:46:04 > 0:46:05Or...

0:46:05 > 0:46:08"If your porcine officers could raise their heads from the trough

0:46:08 > 0:46:12"for one moment they would surely realise the dealer was left-handed

0:46:12 > 0:46:16"and the butler on duty had family visiting from Catalonia."

0:46:16 > 0:46:20And each time the news would trickle down to Mr Sleight and...

0:46:20 > 0:46:22Of course!

0:46:22 > 0:46:25It's so obvious, Miss Hand, but do they listen me?

0:46:25 > 0:46:26To us, Mr Sleight.

0:46:26 > 0:46:28No, no, they don't listen at all.

0:46:28 > 0:46:33It must be very frustrating to be so overlooked.

0:46:33 > 0:46:36- Hm? Yes, you can only imagine. - Indeed I can.

0:46:36 > 0:46:40This Gaslight Jackson - what do you make of him?

0:46:40 > 0:46:43I don't know. I hadn't given him much thought.

0:46:43 > 0:46:46No? Oh. As dangerous as the Lady Electra in my book.

0:46:46 > 0:46:49And we must find both of them before the authorities do

0:46:49 > 0:46:52if we're to retain the Duchess's support.

0:46:52 > 0:46:53I suppose.

0:46:53 > 0:46:55Don't you find him impressive?

0:46:55 > 0:46:58- His insights into... - To a layman, perhaps.

0:46:58 > 0:47:02The deductive reasoning - I'd say he's a professional.

0:47:02 > 0:47:05Perhaps, or a hack that got lucky.

0:47:05 > 0:47:09Time will tell, Miss Hand, time will tell.

0:47:09 > 0:47:11Indeed it would.

0:47:11 > 0:47:14But, for now, society buzzed with talk

0:47:14 > 0:47:17of a second mystery woman returned to the capital.

0:47:17 > 0:47:19Ms Amelia Arkwright.

0:47:19 > 0:47:24The Queen of the Jungle and original girl gone wild.

0:47:24 > 0:47:27AMERICAN ACCENT: Daughter of a mining heiress and a British ambassador.

0:47:27 > 0:47:29Or, should one believe the rumours,

0:47:29 > 0:47:34a Flemish privateer, an Afghan prince or the Archbishop of Canterbury.

0:47:34 > 0:47:37Born in Shanghai, christened on the banks of the Amazon,

0:47:37 > 0:47:39educated in the Congo.

0:47:39 > 0:47:42Now, after 16 years in the wilderness,

0:47:42 > 0:47:44her parents returned to London

0:47:44 > 0:47:49and Amelia's indoctrination into polite society began in earnest.

0:47:49 > 0:47:51The young Amelia had seen more than her fair share

0:47:51 > 0:47:55of bizarre rituals and occult superstitions,

0:47:55 > 0:47:58but nothing that could prepare her for negotiating the silverware

0:47:58 > 0:48:03or passing the port at a Kensington Palace dinner.

0:48:03 > 0:48:07But nothing gets monkey blood out of a Nepalese bridal gown!

0:48:09 > 0:48:12Oh, I'm sorry, your Excellency, would you like a taste?

0:48:12 > 0:48:16Of course, back in the Andes we drank it straight from the vulture's skull!

0:48:16 > 0:48:21Amelia lasted precisely one season in the wastes of London

0:48:21 > 0:48:24before the call of the wild grew too loud to ignore.

0:48:24 > 0:48:26HOWLING

0:48:26 > 0:48:29And she scurried back to the four corners of the earth

0:48:29 > 0:48:31without so much as a backward glance.

0:48:33 > 0:48:37SPLASHING, RAINFOREST SOUNDS

0:48:41 > 0:48:46Now, another 16 years on, she returns for a second homecoming

0:48:46 > 0:48:51recounting exploits and presenting artefacts at the Royal Academy.

0:48:51 > 0:48:54And that, gentlemen, is how I came to be engaged

0:48:54 > 0:48:57to the high shaman of the eastern plains,

0:48:57 > 0:49:01a direct descendant of Ursa Pad -

0:49:01 > 0:49:03the bear god of Peru.

0:49:03 > 0:49:09"Daddy," I said, "if I wed this man I shall become a deity made flesh,

0:49:09 > 0:49:12"the living embodiment of the eternal spirit."

0:49:12 > 0:49:14He said, "Yes, Amelia,

0:49:14 > 0:49:18"but if you marry an Englishman you may have the service at St Martins

0:49:18 > 0:49:21"and your mother can serve her pink lemonade on the lawn."

0:49:21 > 0:49:24Such are the great philosophical struggles of our age.

0:49:24 > 0:49:27Amelia cast a strange figure at the Academy,

0:49:27 > 0:49:31as alien in her own way as any of her keepsakes and curios,

0:49:31 > 0:49:35the stuffed shirts and stiff lips hanging on her every word.

0:49:35 > 0:49:38And now, gentlemen, for my final act -

0:49:38 > 0:49:41my final exhibit, I should say -

0:49:41 > 0:49:45I've shown you many titbits and trinkets from my travels,

0:49:45 > 0:49:48but nothing thus far in the flesh.

0:49:48 > 0:49:49And she gestured then

0:49:49 > 0:49:53to a tall wooden shipping crate at the back of the room.

0:49:53 > 0:49:56My friends, I'm afraid I just couldn't bring myself

0:49:56 > 0:50:00to leave my love behind, and so here he is -

0:50:00 > 0:50:03the great Ursa Pad!

0:50:04 > 0:50:06Flinging the case open,

0:50:06 > 0:50:08there - saints above! - is a Goliath of a man.

0:50:08 > 0:50:12A square-jawed Incan chieftain built like a mountain.

0:50:12 > 0:50:17Be not afraid! My gentle giant is in a deep, deep trance,

0:50:17 > 0:50:20making him placid as the dead.

0:50:20 > 0:50:23Amelia takes a bundle of dried herbs...

0:50:27 > 0:50:30..singeing them on an oil lamp beside her -

0:50:30 > 0:50:34a pungent, acrid stench beginning to fill the little room.

0:50:34 > 0:50:37These sacred herbs are the only things to calm him.

0:50:37 > 0:50:39Whoo-whoo-whoo!

0:50:39 > 0:50:41Sleep well, my love.

0:50:41 > 0:50:45And smiles benignly, despite the audience's growing alarm as...

0:50:45 > 0:50:47HE COUGHS

0:50:47 > 0:50:51..thick black coils of smoke begin to...

0:50:51 > 0:50:52HE COUGHS

0:50:52 > 0:50:56..coil out from within the packing crate as...

0:50:56 > 0:50:57HE COUGHS

0:50:57 > 0:51:00Er, um.... Oh, this really is quite a lot of smoke, Miss Hand.

0:51:00 > 0:51:02Perhaps you could...

0:51:02 > 0:51:06Gentlemen, calm yourselves. All is quite well.

0:51:06 > 0:51:09Immolation is the very noblest end for members of the tribe,

0:51:09 > 0:51:12and his ancestors await him.

0:51:12 > 0:51:16But the hour grows late and I must leave you, too.

0:51:16 > 0:51:20So, remember, if you have enjoyed yourselves this evening,

0:51:20 > 0:51:24you have, in truth, been listening to the exploits of...

0:51:24 > 0:51:25the Lady Electra!

0:51:25 > 0:51:27SHE CACKLES

0:51:27 > 0:51:29MAN: And with that, she let out a great cackle

0:51:29 > 0:51:31and opened wide the crate door -

0:51:31 > 0:51:34an inferno blazing within it.

0:51:34 > 0:51:37Men would swear they saw her step inside and, smiling,

0:51:37 > 0:51:40slam the door behind her, but in a moment she is gone.

0:51:40 > 0:51:43A moment later and the fellows are on their feet,

0:51:43 > 0:51:46the fire is soon stubbed out, but as they prise open

0:51:46 > 0:51:49the warped and blackened crate, they find it...

0:51:49 > 0:51:50empty.

0:51:50 > 0:51:54No chieftain, no Amelia.

0:51:54 > 0:51:57Nothing, save a few singed scraps of cloth.

0:51:57 > 0:52:00SCOTTISH ACCENT: Right, I want a perimeter setting up

0:52:00 > 0:52:04around this whole block. Men on every corner.

0:52:04 > 0:52:07And will somebody please find what she's taken?

0:52:07 > 0:52:09Mr Sleight.

0:52:09 > 0:52:11I don't believe your presence was requested.

0:52:11 > 0:52:15An oversight on your part, Inspector. But I'm prepared to forgive it.

0:52:15 > 0:52:17I've got no time for you tonight.

0:52:17 > 0:52:19Your men won't find her on the streets, you realise that?

0:52:19 > 0:52:21And that's not where they're looking.

0:52:21 > 0:52:24The corner of every rooftop, Mr Sleight.

0:52:24 > 0:52:27We don't need you to solve THIS mystery.

0:52:27 > 0:52:29We found a window ajar right behind that shipping crate

0:52:29 > 0:52:33and a set of footprints in the snow heading out over the slate.

0:52:33 > 0:52:35We'll have her soon enough.

0:52:35 > 0:52:37The only thing you'll have is a bill from the Academy

0:52:37 > 0:52:39for property damage.

0:52:39 > 0:52:41As your men are currently discovering,

0:52:41 > 0:52:43no-one can walk on slates that old without breaking them,

0:52:43 > 0:52:45not if they were as light as a bird.

0:52:45 > 0:52:48Besides which, the ice crystals show those footprints were planted

0:52:48 > 0:52:51hours before the talk. You've been played, Inspector.

0:52:51 > 0:52:55How else did she get out, then? There were men downstairs all evening.

0:52:55 > 0:52:59- Quite simple. She never left. - What?!

0:52:59 > 0:53:01Mere misdirection, Inspector.

0:53:01 > 0:53:03I assure you, your culprit is still in the building!

0:53:03 > 0:53:06No. She's... There's no way she could have...

0:53:06 > 0:53:08Oh, Jesus Christ!

0:53:08 > 0:53:10Wentworth, Martin, with me, now!

0:53:10 > 0:53:15You're welcome, Inspector. There's really no shame in asking for help.

0:53:18 > 0:53:21- ENGLISH ACCENT: Mr Sleight! - Miss Hand!

0:53:21 > 0:53:23Whatever are you doing here?

0:53:23 > 0:53:28Oh, I... I was passing by, just by chance, in fact, on my way from...

0:53:29 > 0:53:32I heard all the commotion and slipped in downstairs.

0:53:32 > 0:53:34- Oh. - You?

0:53:34 > 0:53:36Yes, yes. Much the same.

0:53:36 > 0:53:40Funny that I didn't see you when... Oh, never mind.

0:53:40 > 0:53:44- So...care to fill me in? - The long and short of it was this.

0:53:44 > 0:53:48No sign of the Lady Electra could be found inside or out,

0:53:48 > 0:53:52and the constabulary were still no closer to apprehending her.

0:53:52 > 0:53:56One matter, that of the disappearing chieftain, was resolved soon enough.

0:53:56 > 0:54:01Of course! It isn't a chieftain after all, but a waxwork in the fire!

0:54:01 > 0:54:05It's just like the melting diamond. She's getting bigger, bolder.

0:54:05 > 0:54:08- Who knows what she'll do next? - Yes, who knows indeed?

0:54:08 > 0:54:10The Yard believe they did,

0:54:10 > 0:54:14identifying her next target all too quickly.

0:54:14 > 0:54:16The Madonna of the Mount.

0:54:16 > 0:54:22A vast oil canvas from none other than the great Leonardo da Vinci.

0:54:22 > 0:54:24A masterpiece described in many records of the day,

0:54:24 > 0:54:27but never seen, until it was discovered walled up

0:54:27 > 0:54:29within a remote chapel near Modena.

0:54:29 > 0:54:33Loaned to Queen Victoria as a gesture of diplomatic goodwill,

0:54:33 > 0:54:36it was to form the centrepiece of a new exhibition

0:54:36 > 0:54:37at the National Gallery.

0:54:37 > 0:54:41How she would go about it, the police had no idea.

0:54:41 > 0:54:44But they were certain she would try to make it hers.

0:54:44 > 0:54:46Despite their best efforts, they knew in their hearts

0:54:46 > 0:54:51only one man and one man alone stood between her and her goal.

0:54:51 > 0:54:53Gaslight Jackson!

0:54:53 > 0:54:57Brooding, enigmatic man crumpet, Gaslight Jackson,

0:54:57 > 0:54:59had come to realise something.

0:54:59 > 0:55:01- It was all a sham! - No.

0:55:01 > 0:55:05Perhaps "sham" was too harsh a word.

0:55:05 > 0:55:08But to borrow a term from Sleight and Hand's vocabulary,

0:55:08 > 0:55:12it had all been an act of misdirection.

0:55:12 > 0:55:15After scouring their catalogue in great detail,

0:55:15 > 0:55:19the fellows could find nothing stolen from the Academy,

0:55:19 > 0:55:21and further investigations into the whereabouts

0:55:21 > 0:55:24of the genuine Miss Arkwright suggested she was still...

0:55:24 > 0:55:29Quite happily gallivanting through deepest, darkest Peru.

0:55:29 > 0:55:31And so, Jackson began thinking back,

0:55:31 > 0:55:34right back to the very beginning and...

0:55:34 > 0:55:35the Duchess's diamonds!

0:55:35 > 0:55:38Again, there was no physical evidence to suggest

0:55:38 > 0:55:40the jewel had ever been rediscovered.

0:55:40 > 0:55:44Only the Duchess' strange story of the mysterious merchant sailor

0:55:44 > 0:55:47and his cousin, the jeweller, who had identified them.

0:55:47 > 0:55:50Had they ever been re-found at all, then? Far easier...

0:55:50 > 0:55:53- He supposed. - ..to make something vanish

0:55:53 > 0:55:56if it had never truly been there in the first place.

0:55:56 > 0:55:57The other acts...

0:55:57 > 0:56:00The rabbits at Ascot and the sheep at Parliament!

0:56:00 > 0:56:03Nothing had been gained or taken there, despite the opportunity.

0:56:03 > 0:56:06Even the card trick at the Midas Club.

0:56:06 > 0:56:09Although each man duped was furious not to have won anything,

0:56:09 > 0:56:12neither of them left with their wallets any lighter.

0:56:12 > 0:56:16So, the Lady Electra is no gentlewoman thief after all.

0:56:16 > 0:56:18And then he saw it!

0:56:18 > 0:56:21It isn't riches that she seeks, but notoriety.

0:56:21 > 0:56:23She wishes to create a legend.

0:56:23 > 0:56:27And now the missing Leonardo fitted an altogether different pattern.

0:56:27 > 0:56:30Who can actually account for its existence?

0:56:30 > 0:56:32No-one had yet seen the painting in the country.

0:56:32 > 0:56:34Plenty of gossip, rumour, speculation.

0:56:34 > 0:56:38But as for hard proof, any solid record...

0:56:38 > 0:56:41- And so a painting appears. - Or is said to.

0:56:41 > 0:56:43Not a soul is to be allowed in the room

0:56:43 > 0:56:44while the painting is being hung.

0:56:44 > 0:56:47In fact, no-one, not even the gallery manager shall see it

0:56:47 > 0:56:50until its grand public unveiling.

0:56:50 > 0:56:52Jackson could see it now.

0:56:52 > 0:56:55The curtain falls...to reveal a bare wall. Or an empty frame.

0:56:55 > 0:56:58And amongst the chaos and confusion, no-one would stop to think

0:56:58 > 0:57:01that perhaps the picture had never been there at all.

0:57:01 > 0:57:03It's audacious, brazen, inspired!

0:57:03 > 0:57:06But no match for Gaslight Jackson.

0:57:06 > 0:57:09- The stage was set, but this time... - This time...

0:57:09 > 0:57:11I will be ready.

0:57:11 > 0:57:14All society is present at the gallery.

0:57:14 > 0:57:19All bar Sleight and Hand whose invitations must have been misplaced.

0:57:19 > 0:57:22COCKNEY ACCENT: D-D-Doris... Didn't know you'd be here.

0:57:22 > 0:57:26Oh, Jeremy. They asked if I could give a hand with the teas.

0:57:26 > 0:57:27Quite a do.

0:57:27 > 0:57:29IRISH ACCENT: Doris! Wonderful to see you.

0:57:29 > 0:57:32I trust you are taking good care of our Mr Sleight.

0:57:32 > 0:57:35I believe that's my daughter's job nowadays.

0:57:35 > 0:57:39Mr Baker, Lady Philomena Hand.

0:57:39 > 0:57:41Iphigenia's mother.

0:57:41 > 0:57:43AMERICAN ACCENT: Amelia. Charmed.

0:57:43 > 0:57:47Sorry about the... Only just arrived this morning.

0:57:47 > 0:57:50Our ship capsized out of Dover and we rode up the Thames on porpoises.

0:57:50 > 0:57:53POSH: Oh. Miss Arkwright.

0:57:53 > 0:57:55Such a pleasure.

0:57:55 > 0:57:58We've all heard so much about you.

0:57:58 > 0:58:00POSH: Captain Fitzwilliam Montgomery-Hand, my lady.

0:58:00 > 0:58:02SHE IMITATES BUGLE

0:58:02 > 0:58:04Served with your father in Nagpur.

0:58:04 > 0:58:05Oh, marvellous!

0:58:05 > 0:58:08COCKNEY: Mind your backs. Side of beef coming through.

0:58:08 > 0:58:10Captain, you...

0:58:10 > 0:58:12Ichabod Hand, of the Sawbridge Hands.

0:58:12 > 0:58:15We saw to your late husband's arrangements.

0:58:15 > 0:58:17Yes, of course.

0:58:17 > 0:58:18Captain.

0:58:18 > 0:58:22All right, kiddies, who wants to see a trick? Gather round!

0:58:22 > 0:58:23Excuse me. Captain Hand...

0:58:23 > 0:58:27FOREIGN ACCENT: Forgive me, friend. Read palm. Tell fortune.

0:58:27 > 0:58:30Yes. Let go of me. Just shoo, shoo.

0:58:30 > 0:58:35SCOTTISH ACCENT: Right, is everything set to Mr Jackson's specification?

0:58:35 > 0:58:38Just as you requested, Inspector.

0:58:38 > 0:58:41- So, everyone here really is... - Aye.

0:58:41 > 0:58:43One of ours.

0:58:43 > 0:58:46- Scrub up nicely, don't they? - So they did.

0:58:46 > 0:58:50For these glamorous great and good were not, in fact,

0:58:50 > 0:58:52the chattering classes after all,

0:58:52 > 0:58:55but highly trained undercover officers of the law,

0:58:55 > 0:58:58officers who, at a given moment, would, in perfect unison,

0:58:58 > 0:59:02drop to the floor, leaving only one person standing.

0:59:02 > 0:59:07A solitary slender figure in a crimson crinoline.

0:59:07 > 0:59:11A decorative fan held up high, obscuring her face.

0:59:11 > 0:59:13The Lady Electra, I presume.

0:59:13 > 0:59:18If she is surprised by her discovery, she does her best to hide it.

0:59:18 > 0:59:20Reaches into her purse to produce a small vial,

0:59:20 > 0:59:23which she swiftly sends dashing to the floor.

0:59:23 > 0:59:25CRASH

0:59:25 > 0:59:29A cloud of billowing smoke fills the room and, in an instance,

0:59:29 > 0:59:31she is gone.

0:59:31 > 0:59:33The officers, clumped together, give quick pursuit,

0:59:33 > 0:59:36and, convinced they see a flash at her at the end of the long hallway,

0:59:36 > 0:59:38turn right and give chase.

0:59:38 > 0:59:41Jackson, however, knows better, knows they have, in fact,

0:59:41 > 0:59:44seen her reflection in the grand ornate mirror at the corridor's end.

0:59:44 > 0:59:45So left he goes.

0:59:45 > 0:59:48Turning a corner, he spies an open door

0:59:48 > 0:59:52leading up to the rooftops, up to the darkening skies and icy slate.

0:59:52 > 0:59:55But, no, she's played this hand before.

0:59:55 > 0:59:58And besides, she'd never be so careless as to leave a door ajar.

0:59:58 > 0:59:59He takes the closed door instead.

0:59:59 > 1:00:01SQUEAKING

1:00:01 > 1:00:07A small spiralling service station that winds down to the sewers.

1:00:07 > 1:00:09A labyrinth down there.

1:00:09 > 1:00:10It's a warren.

1:00:10 > 1:00:12That's where he'll find her.

1:00:12 > 1:00:15And so close now he can taste it.

1:00:16 > 1:00:18WOMAN: The door slams shut behind him.

1:00:18 > 1:00:20BANG

1:00:20 > 1:00:23And Jackson feels all the light sucked from his world,

1:00:23 > 1:00:27the putrid reek of the hot, wet air making him gag.

1:00:27 > 1:00:30But then he hears it. DRIPPING

1:00:30 > 1:00:34A pitter-patter of footprints echoing off the dripping walls.

1:00:34 > 1:00:39One breath to get his bearings, and the chase is on.

1:00:39 > 1:00:42Little by little, he can feel himself gaining on her,

1:00:42 > 1:00:45his eyes gradually adjusting to the murk.

1:00:45 > 1:00:51And there, up ahead, a pinprick of light that grows and grows.

1:00:51 > 1:00:53A grate, an exit pipe,

1:00:53 > 1:00:55a means of escape.

1:00:55 > 1:00:58Electra knows she might just make it.

1:00:58 > 1:01:01MAN: But can he let her, having come this far?

1:01:01 > 1:01:05Her silhouette now right within his sight!

1:01:05 > 1:01:07WOMAN: Wait!

1:01:07 > 1:01:11- Miss Hand. - Mr Sleight!

1:01:11 > 1:01:14No. It can't have been. You?

1:01:14 > 1:01:16The Lady Electra?

1:01:16 > 1:01:18All this time?

1:01:18 > 1:01:23Gaslight Jackson? You! Lantern-jawed and steely-eyed.

1:01:23 > 1:01:26- Yes, well... - You knew all along, knew that I...

1:01:26 > 1:01:30No, I didn't know. I deduced what Electra was planning, but I didn't...

1:01:30 > 1:01:32- I would never have dreamt that... - No?

1:01:32 > 1:01:35So I got something past you after all.

1:01:35 > 1:01:40- What is this, Edwin? - You wouldn't understand.

1:01:40 > 1:01:43Try me. What is your purpose?

1:01:45 > 1:01:48Do you hold us women in such contempt that you look to discredit

1:01:48 > 1:01:50or ridicule our sex?

1:01:50 > 1:01:53Deny? No, no, I never intended...

1:01:53 > 1:01:55What, then? Or is it simply just another trick?

1:01:55 > 1:01:59Another act of misdirection? Something no-one would suspect?

1:01:59 > 1:02:00- Please. - What, then? Why?

1:02:00 > 1:02:04- What possible reason... - I might ask you the same!

1:02:04 > 1:02:07Hmm? To out-man the menfolk, I suppose?

1:02:07 > 1:02:10Emasculate them further? Beat them at their own game?

1:02:10 > 1:02:12To be heard!

1:02:13 > 1:02:16With all your power, surely that is simple enough.

1:02:17 > 1:02:19To be heard, Edwin.

1:02:21 > 1:02:23Do you think I wanted this?

1:02:23 > 1:02:27Do you think, if I had any hope of speaking in my own voice,

1:02:27 > 1:02:31under my own name, I'd humiliate myself in such a way?

1:02:32 > 1:02:35But each time I spoke, I was shouted down.

1:02:35 > 1:02:39By you, by the Yard, by anyone who wanted to listen.

1:02:40 > 1:02:44Please, I am well aware of how ridiculous I must look,

1:02:44 > 1:02:47but, no, it is born only out of desperation.

1:02:47 > 1:02:50Do not insult me further to think I would stoop to this

1:02:50 > 1:02:52if I had any other choice.

1:02:54 > 1:02:59I apologise, Miss Hand. I believe we have both misjudged each other.

1:02:59 > 1:03:01Explain yourself, Edwin.

1:03:01 > 1:03:03You owe me that.

1:03:05 > 1:03:09I told you once, though you won't thank me for repeating it,

1:03:09 > 1:03:13that a plain woman must work harder than one blessed with beauty.

1:03:13 > 1:03:17Imagine, then, the difficulties a plain man must face

1:03:17 > 1:03:19should he seek the same end.

1:03:19 > 1:03:23Of course, I could never be a beauty in the flesh.

1:03:23 > 1:03:27I'm well aware of that, but in legend...

1:03:27 > 1:03:29Without once showing my face,

1:03:29 > 1:03:33I had the whole city comparing me to Cleopatra!

1:03:33 > 1:03:37But, of course, it's far more than that.

1:03:37 > 1:03:42Electra was everything that I could never be so effortlessly.

1:03:42 > 1:03:44The toast of the town.

1:03:44 > 1:03:45The centre of attention.

1:03:45 > 1:03:49Whereas the more I clamoured, the more they looked away.

1:03:50 > 1:03:53I owe you so much, Miss Hand.

1:03:53 > 1:03:55But you only further proved my point.

1:03:56 > 1:03:59Only hiding behind a beautiful and brilliant woman

1:03:59 > 1:04:02could I enjoy any kind of success.

1:04:02 > 1:04:05That isn't true. You are brilliant, Edwin. You don't need to be...

1:04:05 > 1:04:07Oh, but I do need it.

1:04:07 > 1:04:10It's who I am, or who I should have been.

1:04:10 > 1:04:14The grass is always greener, my lady.

1:04:15 > 1:04:17Indeed it is, Miss Hand.

1:04:19 > 1:04:21Gaslight Jackson.

1:04:21 > 1:04:23Iphigenia.

1:04:23 > 1:04:26- Jenny. Please. - Jenny.

1:04:29 > 1:04:32So, where do we go from here?

1:04:32 > 1:04:37I will come quietly, but only if it is you that brings me in.

1:04:37 > 1:04:39But which of you am I to arrest?

1:04:39 > 1:04:43Besides, if these items never truly existed,

1:04:43 > 1:04:46then the Lady Electra, wherever she may be,

1:04:46 > 1:04:49has surely committed no crime.

1:04:49 > 1:04:51That is quite the quandary.

1:04:51 > 1:04:53And the sewers are quite the maze down here.

1:04:53 > 1:04:57No way to tell where she might have got to.

1:04:57 > 1:05:01True. But... What of the Duchess? The theatre?

1:05:01 > 1:05:05I'd say our silence is worth even more than our success,

1:05:05 > 1:05:08unless you want the whole world to know how she was taken in.

1:05:08 > 1:05:11We will have to tell them something, though.

1:05:11 > 1:05:12Of course.

1:05:14 > 1:05:19But then, a great magician never reveals ALL their secrets.

1:05:35 > 1:05:38And so, ladies and gentlemen,

1:05:38 > 1:05:41we have been playing quite a game at your expense.

1:05:41 > 1:05:43Over the past few weeks and months,

1:05:43 > 1:05:47Mr Sleight and I have taken our own brand of impossible feats

1:05:47 > 1:05:50out of the theatre and into the heart of the city itself.

1:05:50 > 1:05:54The purported crimes of the Lady Electra were, in fact,

1:05:54 > 1:05:57committed by our own Miss Iphigenia Hand

1:05:57 > 1:06:00with flair, skill and daring

1:06:00 > 1:06:05hitherto unseen by any conjurer to walk this earth, male or female.

1:06:05 > 1:06:09Meanwhile, Mr Sleight adopted the moniker of Gaslight Jackson,

1:06:09 > 1:06:12feeding our great friends at Scotland Yard

1:06:12 > 1:06:14helpful scraps of information

1:06:14 > 1:06:16to keep their investigations on the right track.

1:06:16 > 1:06:22And we thank them wholeheartedly for their sportsmanship and cooperation.

1:06:22 > 1:06:24If you feel deceived, then we apologise,

1:06:24 > 1:06:27though it is an occupational hazard of our craft.

1:06:27 > 1:06:32No real harm was done, no injury sustained to any person,

1:06:32 > 1:06:35though a few egos may have been bruised.

1:06:35 > 1:06:40We thank you deeply, most sincerely, for your precious time,

1:06:40 > 1:06:43and hope you will come and see us again soon.

1:06:43 > 1:06:44Pray, watch us close.

1:06:44 > 1:06:47Those keen of eye may some small secret understand.

1:06:47 > 1:06:50Those simple folk just see the smoke,

1:06:50 > 1:06:52they miss the switch.

1:06:52 > 1:06:54- The sleight... - ..of hand.

1:06:56 > 1:06:58APPLAUSE

1:07:04 > 1:07:06PIANO PLAYS