0:00:26 > 0:00:30The most popular genre of the moment seems to be the superheroes.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34Spiderman, Superman, Natalie Port-man, X-Men, that's another one.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36I've always found their name confusing.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40X-Men, they're ex-men. So they're women.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42If that's the case, I suppose that explains
0:00:42 > 0:00:44why I fancy Wolverine so very much.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47Everyone is quick to talk about superheroes, but no-one
0:00:47 > 0:00:49is interested in the real life heroes.
0:00:49 > 0:00:53For me, my hero in life has always been my old English teacher.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56He was caring and passionate, a real inspiration to all he taught
0:00:56 > 0:00:58and by night, he donned a mask and cape
0:00:58 > 0:01:00and went out and fought criminals.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I'll never forget you, Mr Batman.
0:01:05 > 0:01:10Now it's time for breakneck action hit X-Men First Class.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12But that isn't a history class,
0:01:12 > 0:01:17as while they may be flashing back to 1944...
0:01:17 > 0:01:21that photo of Einstein was taken in 1947.
0:01:22 > 0:01:23Class dismissed.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31Here's James McAvoy as superhero Professor Xavier.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35But every superhero has his weakness and for Xavier, it's windows.
0:01:36 > 0:01:37See that?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40I read the teleporter's mind.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43Ouch! He bangs his head against the glass.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45Curse you, window, I'll get you next time!
0:01:45 > 0:01:46I read the teleporter's mind.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Now have the animators made an error here? Look at Emma Frost -
0:01:52 > 0:01:54she's the one that's a woman.
0:01:54 > 0:01:58When she changes from diamonds back to human
0:01:58 > 0:02:00her hairstyle changes.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02Here it's loose.
0:02:02 > 0:02:03Now tied back.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05We don't harm our own kind.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09With her hair in that state, she must have been made from uncut diamonds.
0:02:11 > 0:02:14On to the let down that was Green Lantern
0:02:14 > 0:02:17and this guy is ecstatic because all day, he's been trying to keep
0:02:17 > 0:02:21his slippery headphones on his head and now he's finally made them...
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Oh. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32It's Ken Branagh's smart take on Thor.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33But where's the cock-up?
0:02:35 > 0:02:39As Dylan says, the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Look at that stiff breeze blowing their hair across their faces...
0:02:44 > 0:02:48that suddenly disappears... and it returns.
0:02:48 > 0:02:54Misquoting Dylan again, let's hope, at that height, they're not sitting on the eves of destruction.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56I try, I fail.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I'm going to get everything back.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05In this scene, it's tipping it down with rain
0:03:05 > 0:03:07and everyone's getting soaking wet.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11Apart from the guy from The Hurt Locker,
0:03:11 > 0:03:13who keeps a dry face at all times.
0:03:14 > 0:03:19With that condition, he must get through a hell of a lot of Nivea.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25And now, more movie storyline flaws are reviewed and laid bare in...
0:03:26 > 0:03:29In the hard-edged, pacy sci-fi thriller, District 9,
0:03:29 > 0:03:33crashed ali-ons are stranded in Johannesburg and are forced
0:03:33 > 0:03:35to live as second-class citizens in a ghetto
0:03:35 > 0:03:39policed by a big corporation and Nigerian gangsters who sell them cat food.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42What everyone wants is the ali-ons' incredible superguns
0:03:42 > 0:03:44that can fire pigs and that.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Hang on, incredible superguns?
0:03:47 > 0:03:51Red alert, those with massively superior weaponry
0:03:51 > 0:03:53don't tend to stay second-class citizens
0:03:53 > 0:03:58for much longer than it takes them to get their massively superior weaponry out.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Tell you what, I'm getting a bit fed up with being oppressed.
0:04:01 > 0:04:06Too right, I mean there's only so much of this us ali-ons can take.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09You know, after 28 years of relentless abuse
0:04:09 > 0:04:10and slum-dwelling,
0:04:10 > 0:04:13I'm almost tempted to get the incredible superguns
0:04:13 > 0:04:18that only us ali-ons can use, and show these humans who's boss.
0:04:22 > 0:04:24On the other hand, cat food...
0:04:24 > 0:04:29Yup, yup, the cat food is nice and even with our ali-on ability
0:04:29 > 0:04:32to build superior weaponry and gigantic spacecraft
0:04:32 > 0:04:34that can hover powerlessly in the sky for decades,
0:04:34 > 0:04:38there's no guarantee that we'd be any good at making cat food.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Yes, might as well sit tight and wait for the white man
0:04:41 > 0:04:44with the pretty arm to help us.
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Yeah.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48More Whiskas?
0:04:56 > 0:04:58Hello and welcome to Pointless View,
0:04:58 > 0:05:03the programme where you have the chance to blow off about the things that really ruin films for you.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04You know how it is.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07It's impossible to follow a story if a flag's upside down, isn't it?
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I personally had Braveheart ruined for me by an errant tartan
0:05:11 > 0:05:14and Mel Gibson not being a blue 13th-century Scotsman,
0:05:14 > 0:05:17but a brownish 20th-century Australian.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Here's a letter from Zorro Madeley of Funningham.
0:05:20 > 0:05:25How was I expected to enjoy the wizardry-pokery of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows
0:05:25 > 0:05:28when it featured a bus bound for Dartford, to the south,
0:05:28 > 0:05:30seen taking the tunnel north,
0:05:30 > 0:05:33even though southbound traffic takes the bridge?
0:05:33 > 0:05:36There hasn't been a southbound tunnel at Dartford since 1991.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38From that point on, I felt it impossible
0:05:38 > 0:05:41to believe in the enchanted chosen one of Hogwarts.
0:05:41 > 0:05:42I'm not an idiot.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Precious Haystacks of Bumley says this.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48In the so-called King's Speech,
0:05:48 > 0:05:53the eponymous King's eponymous speech is enjoyed live
0:05:53 > 0:05:58by a group of factory workers. It was broadcast at 6pm on a Sunday,
0:05:58 > 0:06:02so the only factory operating at such a time in a Christian country like Great Britain
0:06:02 > 0:06:05would have been one run by Satan.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09Am I to believe that our King would broadcast to the minions of hell?
0:06:09 > 0:06:10I'm not an idiot.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15Wing Commander Flava Tebbit is exercised by the shape of melted sand.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19As someone who only watches films for the glassware in them,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22I was enraged by the John Lennon biopic Nowhere Boy,
0:06:22 > 0:06:27in which the Beatle-to-be is seen drinking from a nonic pint glass,
0:06:27 > 0:06:32a type not invented until nearly three years after the scene was set.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37I'm not a man given to tears, but I cried for nearly a fortnight,
0:06:37 > 0:06:39and am now taking medicine.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40I'm not an idiot.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42I'm glad to hear it, Wing Commander.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45A Mr Puff Diddy Hamilton of Underdunderden says...
0:06:45 > 0:06:48I'm known for my sense of humour, and have laughed twice,
0:06:48 > 0:06:51but I failed to see the joke in Drive Angry,
0:06:51 > 0:06:53when a hydrogen truck is shown
0:06:53 > 0:06:56labelled with a hazardous material placard bearing the number 1075.
0:06:56 > 0:07:011075, as any film buff knows, is the UN number for propane.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Hydrogen is in the range 1048-1053,
0:07:03 > 0:07:06and I shall be returning the director's pretty young wife
0:07:06 > 0:07:09to him piece by piece until this is corrected.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11I'm not an idiot.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15Blind Lemon Palmer-Tomkinson of Walton-on-Toast is even more forthright.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18In the Kate Hudson film A Little Bit Of Heaven,
0:07:18 > 0:07:22one of the characters calls a radio station to enter a competition.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26My enjoyment was quite ruined by the absence of a squeal of feedback,
0:07:26 > 0:07:28such as would have been heard.
0:07:28 > 0:07:33- Hello?- 'Who is this?' - Marley Corbett. Did I win?
0:07:33 > 0:07:37I'm sure plenty of people would have liked to hear a howl of interference
0:07:37 > 0:07:42and painful high-pitched whistling in this otherwise rather quiet film.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43I'm not an idiot.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Pontius Bon Jovi of Gloveswold has a bee in his ointment
0:07:46 > 0:07:50about the Anne Hathaway film Love And Other Drugs.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Jake Gyllenhaaaal's character is seen to be using an iMac
0:07:54 > 0:07:58attached to an Apple Pro Mouse in what's supposed to be 1996.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01But the Pro wasn't available until 2000.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06To my disappointment, this time-travelling subplot wasn't picked up on anywhere in the film.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Perhaps the makers were worried that
0:08:08 > 0:08:11if Jake Gyllenhaaaal were able to travel four years into the future,
0:08:11 > 0:08:14it would ruin the will-they, won't-they romance.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17I was sick in my mouth and someone else's and went home.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18I'm not an idiot.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21But it's not all bad news.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24This letter is from Seven Zark Mountbatten of The Isle Of Teeth.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I usually enjoy the films of Angelina Jolie,
0:08:26 > 0:08:29who is a beautiful and striking woman.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32But in Salt, her character's name was Chenkov, a Russian male surname.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35The female version would, of course, be Chenkova.
0:08:35 > 0:08:38As a result of this error, I have become homosexual,
0:08:38 > 0:08:41a consequence both unexpected and fabulous.
0:08:41 > 0:08:42I'm not an idiot.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45A satisfied customer? Good night.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd