0:00:32 > 0:00:35Hello, everyone. I'm just having the finishes touches put
0:00:35 > 0:00:38to my Girl With The Dragon Tattoo tattoo.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I need to get it on pretty quickly because I've got to pop to the airport in a bit.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45I'm off to Yemen to do some salmon fishing, of all things.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49I hope I get there In Time and don't get there when it's Twilight
0:00:49 > 0:00:51and Breaking Dawn, Part One.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Essentially, what I did there was named lots of films
0:00:54 > 0:00:57and they have one thing in common, apart from all being films.
0:00:57 > 0:01:02They all contain mistakes, and this show is all about great movie mistakes.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05You may have deduced that from the title but you never know,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09so, thought I'd just explain it, but anyway...
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Feel like I might have patronised you now, a bit. Sorry about that.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Ooh, all done.
0:01:16 > 0:01:17Hmm.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20That's not quite what I was after.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24On tonight's show...
0:01:35 > 0:01:38And which of these films made the most mistakes in just one scene?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Find out later.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43I don't know if you've noticed this, but some films like
0:01:43 > 0:01:46The Bourne Identity and Annie just have normal heroes in them.
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Whereas all the best films have superheroes in them,
0:01:49 > 0:01:51who are like normal heroes but superer.
0:01:51 > 0:01:55One of my favourite superhero films this year was Avengers Assembly,
0:01:55 > 0:01:57where all the Avengers and their teachers
0:01:57 > 0:01:59got together in the main hall and sang hymns.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02I'm really looking forward to the sequels - Avengers Harvest Festival,
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Avengers Nativity and Avengers Wet Break.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Right, shut up, everyone, it's Avengers Assemble,
0:02:08 > 0:02:10which is MASSIVELY exciting.
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Here Captain America takes a shot,
0:02:12 > 0:02:15causing terrible damage to his costume and body...
0:02:17 > 0:02:20..and over here everyone's second favourite Sherlock Holmes
0:02:20 > 0:02:22but first favourite Iron Man, Robert Downey Jr,
0:02:22 > 0:02:24has a great big cut to his right eyebrow...
0:02:26 > 0:02:29..but here's proof of the power of positive thinking -
0:02:29 > 0:02:32all evidence of damage has gone from the Captain's cozzie
0:02:32 > 0:02:34and the Iron's cut has miraculously healed.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40Now Thor and Iron Man are having a scrap.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Thor sends Iron Man flying off into the woods.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45You want me to put the hammer down?!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48Then when Thor turns on Captain America, he's all like,
0:02:48 > 0:02:51"My American shield will protect me,"
0:02:51 > 0:02:54and Thor then flies off into the woods...
0:03:05 > 0:03:08..but when they all get up, they're about a metre apart.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12Those Avengers Assembled a little too quickly, if you ask me!
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Are we done here?
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Part of the skill of being a special effects wizard is making sure
0:03:19 > 0:03:21that none of your tricks of the trade are exposed.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25Unfortunately in this clip we have the FX version of an upskirt...
0:03:30 > 0:03:34..as the ratchet cable used to spin the car is clearly visible.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41There are some superheroes you really invest in
0:03:41 > 0:03:43and others nobody gives a toss about.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47Captain America, now, and you'll see here
0:03:47 > 0:03:49how Steve goes into the getting-buff-matron
0:03:49 > 0:03:51in perfect-fitting trousers...
0:03:55 > 0:03:56Mr Stark!
0:03:59 > 0:04:02..which still fit perfectly after he's gone all big.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Still, it's by that logic that we all avoided seeing
0:04:05 > 0:04:08Lou Ferrigno's naughty bits, so, you know, every cloud.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23After some impressive underwater rough and tumble,
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Steve throws Heinz out of the water and onto the dock
0:04:26 > 0:04:29but, miraculously, both of them are dry.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34This is a shame, I'd have loved to see them both have a rub down
0:04:34 > 0:04:37with some fluffy towels before he takes that deadly pill.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Tomorrow shall take its place.
0:04:46 > 0:04:48One of Captain America's unsung superpowers
0:04:48 > 0:04:51is the ability to deteriorate buildings.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Here he is making an evil Nazi railing break by sheer
0:04:55 > 0:04:57power of charisma and pectorals.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Intact here...
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Got to be a rope or something! - Just go! Get out of here!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Not going without you!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12..and broken here.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15In the sequel he takes down Stalin with some well-placed dry rot.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22A shocking, sad and pivotal scene from the Amazing Spider-Man, here,
0:05:22 > 0:05:25as Uncle Ben's shot down...
0:05:27 > 0:05:30..but here's proof Charlie Sheen's dad's just doing his actor day job.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33See how he falls to the ground with glasses on?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37Well, he must be taking a nap,
0:05:37 > 0:05:40as when Peter rushes to help him here, the glasses are off.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Someone call an ambulance!
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Keep your eyes on this numberplate.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Hmm, is this Eastern Europe?
0:05:50 > 0:05:51Thought so.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54This is the contrived, forgotten Ghost Rider sequel.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Look at the numberplate now -
0:05:59 > 0:06:00it's reversed.
0:06:04 > 0:06:06That's the problem with ghost riders -
0:06:06 > 0:06:08the numberplasms on their motorspookles
0:06:08 > 0:06:10are very unreli-I-I-I-able!
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Finding out they've developed superpowers
0:06:16 > 0:06:18makes the kids in effective low-budgeter Chronicle
0:06:18 > 0:06:19really excited,
0:06:19 > 0:06:22and, like most teenage boys, they celebrate
0:06:22 > 0:06:23by trying to hurt each other.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Steve gets Matt slap-bang under the right eye...
0:06:27 > 0:06:29THEY LAUGH
0:06:30 > 0:06:35Dude, get off! Get off! What are you doing?
0:06:35 > 0:06:37- Underhand.- I tried, man. I tried.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40..but soon they're laughing on the other side of their faces.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42Sorry, bruising on the other side of their faces.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48What would be your nominations for Best Picture?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Mine would be the Mona Lisa, that Klimt one everyone's got,
0:06:51 > 0:06:55and this picture of me on the beach where I'm sucking it in.
0:06:55 > 0:06:59Delightful whimsy aside, what we're really talking about is the Oscars.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Luckily the Academy Awards are there to let you know exactly what
0:07:02 > 0:07:04films are more or less perfectly brilliant,
0:07:04 > 0:07:06like Avatar or Titanic.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Sorry, that sounds like I'm having a pop at James Cameron.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13I'm really not. I'm just having a pop at his films.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14Anyway, award-winning films are
0:07:14 > 0:07:18just as capable of making careless mistakes as any other film.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20That's rather comforting to know, isn't it?
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Like reminding yourself that the Queen also goes to the lav.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27It's Spielberg's epic adaptation of the National Theatre's epic
0:07:27 > 0:07:30adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's epic adaptation
0:07:30 > 0:07:34of the First World War, War Horse, which touched hearts worldwide.
0:07:35 > 0:07:39And if that's not enough - they got the continuity wrong with an apple.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40Look, whole apple...
0:07:45 > 0:07:46..apple with a big bite out of it,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49that wasn't there at the start of this clip.
0:07:49 > 0:07:53Who did that? A ghost horse, maybe?
0:07:58 > 0:08:02And now, nudity. In fact, horse nudity!
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Albert knows everything about horses and all their horse stuff.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11See, you've got it. You've got it.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14But clearly not how to put a horse's clothes on.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16The collar's upside down.
0:08:16 > 0:08:19Either that or the horse is upside down.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23And now this German soldier's doing it. In a film about horses.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Spielberg should have stuck with sharks.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Well, well, look at you.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35This is the touching and heartfelt Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40Oskar here has found a note left by his late father, Tom Hanks,
0:08:40 > 0:08:42who reads it out in his head like normal.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47Congratulations, Oskar. With unbelievable bravery and wisdom far
0:08:47 > 0:08:51beyond your years you have solved reconnaissance expedition number six.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56But ghost dad Tom has done some posthumous editing
0:08:56 > 0:08:59as his words are very different to what the note says.
0:08:59 > 0:09:04Wherever they now are, the people of the sixth borough celebrate you.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Extremely Loud & Incredibly Wrong.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08Now it's time to go home.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Now the joyful, beguiling The Artist, which, like all
0:09:15 > 0:09:17Adam Sandler films, proves films
0:09:17 > 0:09:19can be better if no-one talks throughout them.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24Here, Peppy Miller puts her bag on the floor, but cut to the wide...
0:09:26 > 0:09:29The floor has eaten it.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34Oh, thank God. It spat it out again.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38It's like when that swamp dragon ate R2-D2 all over again, but arty.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Notebooks - they cause so much fuss.
0:09:46 > 0:09:47Here Peppy drops hers
0:09:47 > 0:09:50in the clamouring throng to see movie star George,
0:09:50 > 0:09:53but as she picks it up, she's right next to him.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54Thanks, notebook!
0:09:54 > 0:09:58However, look! The notebook's disappeared!
0:09:58 > 0:10:02That's gratitude for you. But once the notebook has had a word with
0:10:02 > 0:10:05its agent, it's back in the movie.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07Showbiz - such a fickle mistress.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Normally this show has microphones creeping into shot,
0:10:16 > 0:10:18but here it's the opposite.
0:10:18 > 0:10:19There's the mic in shot.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25But then, boom, it's gone!
0:10:25 > 0:10:28I don't mean "boom" like the microphone, I mean...
0:10:28 > 0:10:31Oh, you know what I mean. Luckily it comes right back.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33Who'd have thought a microphone
0:10:33 > 0:10:36would be so troublesome in a silent movie?
0:10:40 > 0:10:42- More? - Yeah, just a little bit more.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Don't tell your mother.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Moneyball now,
0:10:46 > 0:10:49a quality crowd-pleaser about an American rounders team. Amazing!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Here, Brad Pitt asks his daughter...
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Big spoon or little spoon?
0:10:54 > 0:10:56Little spoon.
0:10:57 > 0:11:01But then we see the little tyke clearly eating with a big spoon.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Unless that really is the little spoon,
0:11:04 > 0:11:06and Brad Pitt's big spoon is actually a wok.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12Here Brad Pitt's cross with his rounders players.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14As he enters the dressing room or whatever it's called,
0:11:14 > 0:11:16Jeremy Giambi is dancing away.
0:11:23 > 0:11:27In the reverse shots, a white towel swings freely between his legs.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28From the front...
0:11:28 > 0:11:30not a sausage.
0:11:30 > 0:11:31Is losing fun?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37Another film about a small boy and a dead father,
0:11:37 > 0:11:38this time with robots,
0:11:38 > 0:11:42Martin Scorsese's escapist, exhilarating, magical Hugo.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44Where's the station inspector?
0:11:44 > 0:11:48Ben Kingsley enjoys a bit of notebook-based hocus-pocus
0:11:48 > 0:11:51with disappearing, reappearing rubber band.
0:11:51 > 0:11:52First it's on the notebook...
0:11:56 > 0:11:59..then it isn't, then it is...
0:12:00 > 0:12:02..then it isn't.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05To be honest, it's behaving pretty much like any rubber band.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07Not there when you need it.
0:12:12 > 0:12:16Oh, this is ridiculous. I can't make it sync.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Sync with laptop.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21PHONE: Do you want me to call your Uncle Martin?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22Sync with laptop.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Searching the internet for scuba-diving courses.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Sync with laptop.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32That's great. Sync with laptop is now in your diary for April.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Do you want a reminder?
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Technology!
0:12:38 > 0:12:41This is the zesty but trivial What's Your Number?
0:12:41 > 0:12:44And this clip is a little embarrassing for the production
0:12:44 > 0:12:47as it obviously shows up the fact that they bought a knock off iPhone
0:12:47 > 0:12:51copy from the Australian company Ipple
0:12:51 > 0:12:52as when Ally answers it...
0:12:52 > 0:12:55it's upside down.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58Hi, Mom, can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. OK.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05One thing I really hate is when you're not sure
0:13:05 > 0:13:07whether a text you sent has arrived.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11Fortunately, the bland and uneven Like Crazy has the answer.
0:13:11 > 0:13:16All you need to do is send your texts on either May 28th
0:13:16 > 0:13:21or December 1st because apparently they are interchangeable.
0:13:23 > 0:13:27The catchily-titled Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 now,
0:13:27 > 0:13:29and here Bella is calling Rosalie
0:13:29 > 0:13:32but we can clearly see her phone is in lock mode.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Or is it? Vampire phones are special though as they're always
0:13:37 > 0:13:41unlocked for emergency orders of delicious blood sandwiches.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46A good romantic comedy should make you feel like anything is possible.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Apparently so can middling ones,
0:13:49 > 0:13:52as this clip from Salmon Fishing In The Yemen proves.
0:13:52 > 0:13:55It tries to make us believe that you can successfully send
0:13:55 > 0:13:58heartfelt text messages when you clearly have no signal.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05In the slow-paced and depressing Young Adult,
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Mavis is getting a cassette out of her bag.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11It's fully rewound.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17But when she puts it in the car it is halfway through a song
0:14:17 > 0:14:20and she has to rewind it.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23She wants to get at that cassette with a pencil.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Or a biro. Which did you use?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Oh, ask your mum and dad then!
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Here's the man who is suddenly in all films answering a phone
0:14:34 > 0:14:36in the so-so indie Jeff Who Lives At Home.
0:14:36 > 0:14:37PHONE RINGS
0:14:37 > 0:14:39But he doesn't press the button to answer it.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41BEEP
0:14:41 > 0:14:43"A-ha!" think the boffins in the edit,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45"We can fix that with a beep!"
0:14:46 > 0:14:48PHONE RINGS
0:14:48 > 0:14:51No, you cannot, boffins, for I, Robert Webb, have spotted it
0:14:51 > 0:14:53and thusly foiled you.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Sometimes, a film is just so damn good
0:14:57 > 0:15:01that the only thing to do is make it again, but different.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03You know that feeling when you're watching a cracking movie
0:15:03 > 0:15:06and you think to yourself, "I'd love to see this again with
0:15:06 > 0:15:10"different actors and with some of the dialogue slightly changed?"
0:15:10 > 0:15:14Well, no, neither do I, but presumably it's happened to someone.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16American studios have a particular fondness
0:15:16 > 0:15:18for making new versions of French films,
0:15:18 > 0:15:22figuring that nobody could possibly have seen the original.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Next time you see something hoo-larious with Adam Sandler
0:15:25 > 0:15:29in a dress or Cameron Diaz being amusingly coarse, bear in mind it
0:15:29 > 0:15:33probably started life as a sensitive examination of personal identity
0:15:33 > 0:15:34called Pourquoi Moi?
0:15:35 > 0:15:39In Die Another Day, James Bond had an invisible car.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Here's there's two...
0:15:41 > 0:15:45..in this lamentable spoof TV remake Dark Shadows.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49You see? They're invisible.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Ha! Yah, boo, sucks, 007!
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Now, that social taboo we're all uncomfortable talking about -
0:15:59 > 0:16:02spontaneous combustion.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06Luckily, the treatment's just a good dousing with water.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08Special dry water that doesn't leave
0:16:08 > 0:16:10a trace in the bucket once you've thrown it.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Vampires do DIY just like us regular folk.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Barnabus is inside a coffin with a separate lid,
0:16:21 > 0:16:23but between here and the graveyard
0:16:23 > 0:16:27they've clearly managed a pit stop at IKEA for some hinges.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30They probably also picked up 500 tea lights for 50p
0:16:30 > 0:16:32and gorged on Swedish meatballs.
0:16:35 > 0:16:40The aptly-named 21 Jump Street now, a violent and naughty film
0:16:40 > 0:16:42where characters jump from one location to another
0:16:42 > 0:16:45without paying any attention to boring stuff like continuity.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48For example, this door opens on three people
0:16:48 > 0:16:50but only two of them walk in.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Who invited you guys? - I did. The party's here.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- What's up?- Hi, buddy.
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Delroy's probably popped round the corner to 21 Teleport Street.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05A bona fide miracle, next.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08Never mind loaves and fishes, some higher power obviously
0:17:08 > 0:17:11decided that this tatty old newspaper on the church door
0:17:11 > 0:17:13was making the place look untidy
0:17:13 > 0:17:16because mere seconds later, it's gone.
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Hallelujah!
0:17:20 > 0:17:24It's hard to keep track of relations when you're from a larger family.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Like Ren in the semi-enjoyable but pointless Footloose remake.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30His cousins can't stand still.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Here he's greeted by two of them.
0:17:32 > 0:17:37How you doing? You guys are huge. Get off me. Attack of the cousins!
0:17:37 > 0:17:38But then he's with just one.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41The other's hanging out with Lulu.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Not that Lulu, alas, she's not in either of the Foots Loose.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51This cross but charismatic young gentlemen played by not Kevin Bacon
0:17:51 > 0:17:54gets all crossly into his Beetle and drives away,
0:17:54 > 0:17:56showing the exposed engine.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58ENGINE STARTS
0:18:02 > 0:18:04But when he arrives at this warehouse,
0:18:04 > 0:18:06the boot is repaired and the engine covered.
0:18:06 > 0:18:11Oh, hello. I'm just flushing 250 million down the toilet,
0:18:11 > 0:18:13rather like the makers of John Carter.
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Here in Britain, we love an underdog.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21We like things that are plucky or unfashionable or sometimes
0:18:21 > 0:18:24just plain crap. We root for them, we cheer for them,
0:18:24 > 0:18:26we wish them the best.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29What we won't do apparently is buy tickets for them.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Which is why the following films appear in our
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Worst Flops At The Box Office section.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Here are some mistakes which, like the films they come from,
0:18:37 > 0:18:38you didn't notice the first time.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45Conan The Terrible, sorry, Conan The Barbarian now,
0:18:45 > 0:18:48and Tamara's strolling through the forest
0:18:48 > 0:18:50with clear lines of sight in every direction.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55Yet somehow she doesn't see or hear Massive Man On Horse.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59She failed to spot the foot-soldiers too,
0:18:59 > 0:19:03despite those skinny saplings being too small to hide behind.
0:19:03 > 0:19:04She didn't see them.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Just like nobody saw this film.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16I Don't Know How She Does It,
0:19:16 > 0:19:18otherwise known as I Don't Know Why They Made It
0:19:18 > 0:19:21has Sarah Jessica Parker running kookily late
0:19:21 > 0:19:24with her beige heels and no tights.
0:19:24 > 0:19:26But here she's wearing black tights and boots.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- Oh, hi, Clarke.- Good morning.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32And now it's the original combo again.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34I don't know how she did that.
0:19:37 > 0:19:38It may have been a flop,
0:19:38 > 0:19:41but John Carter was actually quite good fun.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43This is the wedding,
0:19:43 > 0:19:46and Sab Than is discovering that there's nothing more embarrassing
0:19:46 > 0:19:48than finishing your stag night with a drunken tattoo.
0:19:48 > 0:19:53In the time of oceans, the celestial lovers rose from the sea each night.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55And just like a drunken tattoo,
0:19:55 > 0:19:58this one is staggering all over his face from left to right.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00So may it be again.
0:20:03 > 0:20:07On to the hokey and scrappy Cowboys And Aliens now,
0:20:07 > 0:20:10and as Jake escapes from the alien stronghold
0:20:10 > 0:20:12he's covered in a blast of alien space dust
0:20:12 > 0:20:15or popping candy, as you youngsters call it.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20I hate it when that happens.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23And so does Jake. Look, he's now dust-free.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30The Thing is a dull, sloppy, unsuccessful prequel
0:20:30 > 0:20:33to a successful film called The Thing.
0:20:33 > 0:20:38I'm hoping they make a sequel called And Another Thing.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40Here, Kate turns on both taps,
0:20:40 > 0:20:43has the most feeble face-wash of all time,
0:20:43 > 0:20:46then turns off the water one-handed.
0:20:46 > 0:20:48So the thing about The Thing is
0:20:48 > 0:20:51why isn't the other tap still running?
0:20:56 > 0:21:00The aptly-named Anonymous was a preposterous romp based on
0:21:00 > 0:21:04the idea that Shakespeare wasn't Shakespeare, but the Earl of Oxford.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05However, we can reveal
0:21:05 > 0:21:09that the Earl of Oxford wasn't the Earl of Oxford, either.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11judging by that very modern tattoo that's peeping out
0:21:11 > 0:21:15from under his doublet, he's clearly Rhys Ifans.
0:21:15 > 0:21:17If you're the kind of person who, when reading a book,
0:21:17 > 0:21:19likes to skip over the difficult bits,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21and put Keira Knightley all over the rest,
0:21:21 > 0:21:23then you'll love film adaptations.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Since film was invented, directors have been slightly ruining
0:21:26 > 0:21:30or basically missing the point of some of the greatest literary works
0:21:30 > 0:21:33in the world. But they still found room to make some shocking mistakes.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Fortunately, the world of literature has been getting its own back
0:21:37 > 0:21:40for years by taking tremendous films and getting hacks to write
0:21:40 > 0:21:42unreadably awful novelisations.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45So, you know, swings and roundabouts.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49George Smiley's waiting for a call, with his shoes neatly under
0:21:49 > 0:21:52the table in the thrilling and classy Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
0:22:00 > 0:22:01But when it's an important call,
0:22:01 > 0:22:04surely it's wise to be fully clothed,
0:22:04 > 0:22:06so in the next shot they're back on again.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Though now he's taken them off.
0:22:09 > 0:22:11Oh, make up your mind!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13The same thing happens with his underpants
0:22:13 > 0:22:14but we can't show that bit.
0:22:19 > 0:22:23I think there's just a simple script typo in this scene
0:22:23 > 0:22:25from meandering flick The Rum Diary.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28There's Johnny Depp with his hair all unkempt
0:22:28 > 0:22:31and this line is delivered.
0:22:31 > 0:22:34You blew it, Kemp.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37And suddenly Johnny's neatly coiffed again.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41I'm pretty sure the line should have been, "You blow-dried it, Kemp."
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Ah, look, nothing in the sky for miles around,
0:22:48 > 0:22:51except a few clouds in this expensive-looking but unnecessary
0:22:51 > 0:22:54umpteenth adaptation of The Three Musketeers.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00And yet just 39 seconds later...
0:23:01 > 0:23:04..where did this ruddy, great low-flying airship come from?
0:23:07 > 0:23:09SHOUTING
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Some mistakes can be put down to simple revenge.
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Clearly the cameraman was so annoyed at crashing into this wooden pole...
0:23:20 > 0:23:24Careful! ..that he sneakily removed it for the next shot.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Luckily, someone noticed
0:23:27 > 0:23:30and Poley resumed his rightful place next to the step.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31For a bit.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Rule one of escaping from baddies -
0:23:42 > 0:23:44be sure you make a clean getaway.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48However, once D'Artagnan runs through the door,
0:23:48 > 0:23:51he just stops and waits.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Almost, and I know this is going to sound mad,
0:23:54 > 0:23:57almost like an actor waiting for his next cue.
0:24:02 > 0:24:06If I dared, I'd touch you, see if you were real.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Mr Rochester's journal. "Wednesday. An exciting day.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13"Jane Eyre returned from visiting her aunt,
0:24:13 > 0:24:17"I put this very journal down to say hello.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20"However, no sooner had she ascended the stairs
0:24:20 > 0:24:23"than my journal completely disappeared,
0:24:23 > 0:24:25"only to reappear moments later.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27"Should it disappear again,
0:24:27 > 0:24:30"I shall write my innermost thoughts on my massive hat."
0:24:30 > 0:24:31Very sloppy.
0:24:31 > 0:24:34If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say,
0:24:34 > 0:24:36"She sees a nun and falls off the bell tower,"
0:24:36 > 0:24:39or "It's his sledge," then congratulations!
0:24:39 > 0:24:43You've just had the two top films of all time ruined for you.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46In the latest BFI/Sight and Sound Poll of the greatest ever films,
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Vertigo ended Citizen Kane's long run by pipping it to the top spot.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54The rest of the top ten was made up of popular favourites like
0:24:54 > 0:24:56Tokyo Story, La Regle De Jeu,
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans and
0:24:58 > 0:24:59The Passion Of Joan Of Arc,
0:24:59 > 0:25:03because film critics aren't in any way up themselves.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Anyway, even being the best of all time
0:25:05 > 0:25:09doesn't protect you from our beady eye.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13One of the greatest, most suspenseful thrillers now. Psycho.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17This being 1960, everyone was more modest than they are nowadays.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Janet Leigh's so prim,
0:25:19 > 0:25:22she even wore her underpants for her ill-fated shower, as you can see
0:25:22 > 0:25:26when creepy Norman Bates wraps her up and carries her to the boot.
0:25:30 > 0:25:33Oddly enough, in Gus Van Sant's pointless and embarrassing
0:25:33 > 0:25:37shot-for-shot remake, they deliberately made the same mistake
0:25:37 > 0:25:40again, and you get the chance to see Anne Heche in her undies too.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Twice the goofs for half the fun!
0:25:45 > 0:25:49The harsh and brutally dark war classic Apocalypse Now
0:25:49 > 0:25:52features this cameo from director, Francis Ford Coppola.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55He clearly loves the limelight, as just seconds before,
0:25:55 > 0:26:00we see the crew filming in blatant silhouette.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Word of advice FFC, next time do it with jazz-hands.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11Astonishing visuals, plus over-pretentiousness equals
0:26:11 > 0:26:132001: A Space Odyssey,
0:26:13 > 0:26:15and in this scene which takes place some hours
0:26:15 > 0:26:20before the plot starts, Dr Floyd is looking at pictures of ground.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23However, now it's completely different ground.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26That's what happens when you do 127 retakes,
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Mr Kubrick. Learn from the professionals!
0:26:32 > 0:26:34I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38Now, should I ever find myself trapped on an airless space station
0:26:38 > 0:26:41trying to stop a malfunctioning artificial intelligence killing me,
0:26:41 > 0:26:45remind me to make sure my spacesuit, essential to an airless environment,
0:26:45 > 0:26:48is securely fastened, exposing no flesh,
0:26:48 > 0:26:50otherwise I might get a bit breathless,
0:26:50 > 0:26:54goggly eyed and generally explode a bit.
0:26:54 > 0:27:00Meticulously crafted and elegantly shot, it can only be Citizen Kane.
0:27:00 > 0:27:03However, here you can see some animated pterodactyls
0:27:03 > 0:27:06flying around some 20th-century picnickers!
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Apparently this was background footage nabbed from Son Of Kong,
0:27:09 > 0:27:11but Orson Welles reportedly liked
0:27:11 > 0:27:14the reptiles so much he kept them in.
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Orson, you well-known perfectionist, you, of course you did!
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Interior design now, and here's Jimmy Stewart in the exciting
0:27:24 > 0:27:28and tension-filled number-one movie in the poll, Vertigo.
0:27:28 > 0:27:31Look at the cushions he offers Madeline to sit on.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35They're green, yes? Oh, no, they're not, they're gold.
0:27:37 > 0:27:39Oh, wait a minute, sorry, folks.
0:27:39 > 0:27:42They're definitely, definitely green.
0:27:44 > 0:27:47Ever the attentive host,
0:27:47 > 0:27:50Jimmy's offering his lovely visitor a cup of coffee.
0:27:50 > 0:27:52Well, to be more precise, just a cup.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54Maybe she should pop next door
0:27:54 > 0:27:57and borrow some from the hunky neighbour?
0:28:00 > 0:28:02In this tense scene on the beach,
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Madeline is getting in touch with nature and hugging a tree.
0:28:05 > 0:28:12I'm walking down a long corridor, that once was mirrored.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15And fragments of the mirror still hang there.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17However, she manages to turn her back on it,
0:28:17 > 0:28:18seemingly without moving.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21I tell you what, that Alfred Hitchcock certainly knows
0:28:21 > 0:28:23how to weave a web of mystery and intrigue.
0:28:25 > 0:28:29It's a little bit of a Hollywood secret, but you can't just
0:28:29 > 0:28:32use normal cars, trains, motorbikes and so on, when making a film.
0:28:32 > 0:28:35No, all the vehicles you see are stars in their own right.
0:28:35 > 0:28:39The cars always demand their own trailers, every motorcycle insists
0:28:39 > 0:28:43on riders, buses won't film without regular stops and all the aeroplanes
0:28:43 > 0:28:46are scientologists and won't let anyone look them in the cockpit.
0:28:46 > 0:28:52Also, something about helicopters, um, they work on a rotor system?
0:28:52 > 0:28:56Something like that? Somebody sort this out.
0:28:56 > 0:29:01Icily compelling sex pest docusoap Shame now,
0:29:01 > 0:29:05and here Michael "Middle Stump" Fassbender arrives at Fulton Street
0:29:05 > 0:29:08as he creepily eyes up a woman in a hat.
0:29:20 > 0:29:23But he's on the world's most inconvenient train,
0:29:23 > 0:29:25as you see when they leave Fulton Street.
0:29:28 > 0:29:32Then after a few minutes of serious-faced ogling, arrive at...
0:29:32 > 0:29:33Fulton Street!
0:29:36 > 0:29:38Get your coat, love, you've pulled.
0:29:43 > 0:29:46Every which way but funny now with The Zookeeper.
0:29:46 > 0:29:49Everything about this clip is ridiculous.
0:29:50 > 0:29:53The background is swishing about like nobody's business,
0:29:53 > 0:29:58and TV funnyman Kevin James isn't even turning the steering wheel.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Absolutely ridiculous.
0:30:01 > 0:30:05The talking gorilla in the daringly tight T-shirt, however, is fine.
0:30:09 > 0:30:10Misbehaving wingtips now,
0:30:10 > 0:30:13which is the bane of the Victorian dandy's life,
0:30:13 > 0:30:16but also in the turbo-charged Avengers Assemble.
0:30:20 > 0:30:22As the plane lands, the wings fold in.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28But when Captain America disembarks,
0:30:28 > 0:30:29they are folded out again.
0:30:29 > 0:30:33Let's see it again - and watch out for the bonus boob here.
0:30:33 > 0:30:37What the hell happened to the hi-vis orange runway man?
0:30:44 > 0:30:46The windscreen wipers on this police car
0:30:46 > 0:30:49in the comedically dry The Guard remind me very much
0:30:49 > 0:30:51of the men in The Grand old Duke of York.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53Because when they are up they are up,
0:30:53 > 0:30:55and when they are down they are down.
0:30:55 > 0:31:00And that's the end of my simile. Wrong windscreen wipers is my point.
0:31:00 > 0:31:02Just been transferred from Dublin.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06Pointless remake of Footloose now -
0:31:06 > 0:31:08and a stark reminder that level crossings
0:31:08 > 0:31:11are dangerous places, kids. Here we see how,
0:31:11 > 0:31:13if you're not careful, your lovely sister's saloon car
0:31:13 > 0:31:16will inexplicably turn into a black four by four
0:31:16 > 0:31:18the moment it touches the railway lines.
0:31:26 > 0:31:28He's not looking good, sir.
0:31:28 > 0:31:30The disappointing Johnny English Reborn now,
0:31:30 > 0:31:34and when Johnny says, "It's just like riding a bike,"
0:31:34 > 0:31:37that's clearly not what he said when they shot it.
0:31:37 > 0:31:40- It's just like riding a bike. - Maybe he was actually saying,
0:31:40 > 0:31:42"Get rid of that man on the back seat,"
0:31:42 > 0:31:45because by the next shot, he has clearly disappeared.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Yes, it's all coming back to me.
0:31:56 > 0:31:59If violent revenge flick How I Spent My Summer Vacation
0:31:59 > 0:32:01is anything to go by, Mel Gibson spends his holidays
0:32:01 > 0:32:05dressed as a clown in a deserted part of Mexico.
0:32:05 > 0:32:06Not that deserted, mind.
0:32:06 > 0:32:09Those tyre tracks show there's been another car there,
0:32:09 > 0:32:12or at the very least a previous take.
0:32:15 > 0:32:20Action movies are like making love. Last about 90 minutes check.
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Have loud noises going on throughout check.
0:32:22 > 0:32:24An Aerosmith song playing check.
0:32:24 > 0:32:28And big men in vests running around shooting assorted Europeans
0:32:28 > 0:32:29or Middle Easterns - check.
0:32:29 > 0:32:32And, of course, an awful lot of blood.
0:32:32 > 0:32:35Happy lovemaking, sex fans!
0:32:35 > 0:32:38What's wrong here in the hammy and laughably bad Abduction?
0:32:40 > 0:32:44Acting rule number one is never look into the camera, but gotcha!
0:32:44 > 0:32:46Taylor Lautner can't resist!
0:32:47 > 0:32:51Still, if this is the take they used, the other ones must have just
0:32:51 > 0:32:54had him staring slack-jawed into the camera and wobbling.
0:32:57 > 0:33:00Look at the light filtering through the outdoor window.
0:33:00 > 0:33:02I love a good sunset, don't you?
0:33:03 > 0:33:06And so do the makers of Abduction.
0:33:06 > 0:33:09They've really captured that magic hour.
0:33:09 > 0:33:13- Yeah.- 'Hey, I heard you pull up...'
0:33:13 > 0:33:16Or rather, that abrupt few seconds between day and,
0:33:16 > 0:33:18in the next shot, night.
0:33:21 > 0:33:23It's the run-of-the-mill In Time,
0:33:23 > 0:33:27and Henry's timeline's running out, so he's decided to keel over
0:33:27 > 0:33:30and fall into some lovely running water.
0:33:34 > 0:33:39That's very fortunate, had he jumped a few seconds earlier,
0:33:39 > 0:33:42he'd have fallen on to a barely wet slab of concrete.
0:33:47 > 0:33:50The generally "meh" This Means War now, and attention, ladies -
0:33:50 > 0:33:54if you've ever had your jacket stolen from a nightclub,
0:33:54 > 0:33:58it was almost certainly stolen by Hollywood actor, Reese Witherspoon.
0:33:58 > 0:34:04The proof? Well, here she is going in without a jacket,
0:34:04 > 0:34:08and here she is exiting the same club, with a jacket.
0:34:08 > 0:34:12- Tell it to the DA, Witherspoon. - I'm not the girl for you.
0:34:13 > 0:34:15Tooth fairy news now,
0:34:15 > 0:34:18and it turns out the little blighter's working overtime.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22Here, young Joe is missing the traditional two front teeth,
0:34:22 > 0:34:27but the director clearly thought that was a bit of a cliche,
0:34:27 > 0:34:30because later on the same day the missing teeth are altogether
0:34:30 > 0:34:33hipper, edgier bottom-row ones.
0:34:33 > 0:34:35Hands up!
0:34:39 > 0:34:43Here's a clip from thin-on-laughs action comedy, 30 Minutes Or Less,
0:34:43 > 0:34:47which, if it isn't a sequel to One Hour Photo, should be.
0:34:47 > 0:34:50Here, Chet's spray-painted the inside of the door.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54It's like you bought a Mustang...
0:34:54 > 0:34:58Luckily, by the time they stop, the paint's disappeared.
0:34:58 > 0:35:00My wife gets angry when I eat sushi in the car.
0:35:00 > 0:35:03She doesn't understand it makes me a better driver.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09Hugely-disappointing, dreary war-fest Red Tails now,
0:35:09 > 0:35:12and important advice on hat etiquette.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14I need everyone on this next mission.
0:35:14 > 0:35:17Young Joe here is committing a faux-pas of epic proportions
0:35:17 > 0:35:19as Army regulations state that hats should be
0:35:19 > 0:35:21removed when indoors...
0:35:21 > 0:35:23and worn when outside.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25He's doing neither.
0:35:25 > 0:35:28He'd be a laughing stock at Ascot, the berk.
0:35:32 > 0:35:34Cuba Gooding Jr is doing his best
0:35:34 > 0:35:37to win the coveted Pipe Smoker Of The Year award.
0:35:37 > 0:35:39Look at his masterful skills.
0:35:39 > 0:35:43He's so good, he can simultaneously point out directions with it.
0:35:43 > 0:35:45And smoke it at the same time.
0:35:49 > 0:35:52Airports are stressful - all that queuing, waiting
0:35:52 > 0:35:54and having your private bits probed by security.
0:35:54 > 0:35:57These poor blokes are having a terrible time,
0:35:57 > 0:36:03their duty-free fags have finished and their plane has inexplicably changed from an A3...
0:36:06 > 0:36:07..to A2.
0:36:07 > 0:36:10Goodness knows where their luggage is going to end up!
0:36:10 > 0:36:16Deck the halls with merry gentlemen, it's the most wonderful time of the chestnuts roasting
0:36:16 > 0:36:19on a red-nosed sleigh bells jingle all the way.
0:36:19 > 0:36:23I actually used to hate Christmas, but one day, just as I was about to jump in a river,
0:36:23 > 0:36:27this angel came along and showed me what the world would have been like
0:36:27 > 0:36:29if Great Movie Mistakes had never happened.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty, it wasn't pretty at all.
0:36:33 > 0:36:37Thankfully, here's some festive movie goofs.
0:36:37 > 0:36:39HE BLOWS HIS MOUSTACHE FROM HIS MOUTH
0:36:40 > 0:36:44Timeless feel-good Christmas classic, It's A Wonderful Life, now
0:36:44 > 0:36:46and James Stewart has brought with him,
0:36:46 > 0:36:48a festive bog seat covered in holly
0:36:48 > 0:36:51to really liven up the atmos in the smallest room.
0:36:51 > 0:36:53ALL TALK AT ONCE
0:36:53 > 0:36:54He puts it down...
0:36:54 > 0:36:55Harry...
0:36:55 > 0:36:58..but, it immediately springs back up again.
0:36:58 > 0:37:01He must have caught his sleeve on a sprig.
0:37:04 > 0:37:07Dancing is prohibited at this municipal pool, James,
0:37:07 > 0:37:09it's the rules.
0:37:13 > 0:37:15And where's your bathing cap?
0:37:15 > 0:37:18Don't you know stray hair clogs the filters?
0:37:18 > 0:37:21Even more so when your entire toupee floats off.
0:37:21 > 0:37:25Well, I hope that distracts him from any heavy petting with that lady.
0:37:29 > 0:37:31Before the tobacco ad ban,
0:37:31 > 0:37:34they said a pipe really does something for a man.
0:37:34 > 0:37:37And here you can see they're not wrong.
0:37:37 > 0:37:38See this smoking chap?
0:37:39 > 0:37:41Instant sex change.
0:37:41 > 0:37:45Proof you should just say no to pipes, BBC Three viewers.
0:37:45 > 0:37:46Wait a minute.
0:37:46 > 0:37:47I think I've got a date.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52The Santa Clause is a reasonably jolly movie
0:37:52 > 0:37:54if there's nothing else on.
0:37:54 > 0:37:56And here's Father Christmas himself,
0:37:56 > 0:37:59having trouble doing his only job of the year.
0:38:00 > 0:38:02But what's this?
0:38:02 > 0:38:05I know people say there's a blanket of snow,
0:38:05 > 0:38:08but that just looks like an actual blanket to me.
0:38:11 > 0:38:15"Watch the skies," says the sign on the movie theatre
0:38:15 > 0:38:19in the still very entertaining and funny festive treat, Gremlins.
0:38:23 > 0:38:25Actually, that sign should have said,
0:38:25 > 0:38:29"Watch the hills," as they're green and free of snow, unlike the rest of the set.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Here, one of the crew must have had
0:38:34 > 0:38:36a late-night kebab and a couple of cans,
0:38:36 > 0:38:40as they're clearly visible pushing over the Christmas tree.
0:38:41 > 0:38:44Christmas spirit? Christmas lager, I wager.
0:38:48 > 0:38:51Now, viewers, here's something you really, really don't want to do.
0:38:51 > 0:38:54And that's cut the cable for some fairy lights with
0:38:54 > 0:38:56a pair of metal scissors while they're still on.
0:38:58 > 0:39:00But, here all the lights stay on.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04They must have matted out the stuntman who fried doing the scene.
0:39:10 > 0:39:12Good evening. I'm television's Robert Webb.
0:39:12 > 0:39:16You might recognise me from your television on which I often appear.
0:39:16 > 0:39:19Welcome once again to Pointless View, where we invite you,
0:39:19 > 0:39:21some public, to do our job for us.
0:39:21 > 0:39:22HE LAUGHS
0:39:22 > 0:39:25Of course, I'm joking... Partially.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26Onto our first letter.
0:39:26 > 0:39:30This comes from Arthur Martha Not Sure in Clittering, East Sussex.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33And he or she has reached the end of his or her short fuse
0:39:33 > 0:39:36with The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50'When Alan finds out that Tintin has blocked the door to the cabin,
0:39:50 > 0:39:52'he tells Tom to get TNT.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54'Well, Tom returns with dynamite.'
0:39:54 > 0:39:57Play like that then do you, Tintin? Get the TNT.
0:39:57 > 0:40:02'Dynamite contains no TNT, but is actually stabilised nitro-glycerine.
0:40:02 > 0:40:06'I know this because I'm pretty much certain I was once in a war.'
0:40:17 > 0:40:20Yikes! I certainly won't get on the wrong side of you, Arthur Martha.
0:40:20 > 0:40:23But you're right, that duck was delicious.
0:40:23 > 0:40:27our next letter's from Lazy Susan from Prisk, who is so angry with
0:40:27 > 0:40:29the film Cowboys & Aliens,
0:40:29 > 0:40:32that we might as well have to rename it, Cowboys & Aliens & Susan.
0:40:54 > 0:40:56'At one point, in a scene set in 1873,
0:40:56 > 0:40:59'the bandit suggested a trip to Puerto Vallarta,
0:40:59 > 0:41:02'which obviously didn't yet exist.'
0:41:02 > 0:41:04We're going as far away as we can go.
0:41:04 > 0:41:05You remember Puerto Vallarta?
0:41:12 > 0:41:15That's enough now, Lazy Susan.
0:41:15 > 0:41:17A word from the web now, and I don't mean me.
0:41:17 > 0:41:21Someone has finally left a message on the Pointless View website.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24This is from a Mr Rodney Fascist. I love fashion too, Rodney.
0:41:24 > 0:41:27He has this to say about The Three Musketeers.
0:41:34 > 0:41:37'In one scene, King Louis XIII is shown playing a game of chess
0:41:37 > 0:41:39'with Cardinal Richelieu.
0:41:39 > 0:41:41'During the game when the king was in check,
0:41:41 > 0:41:44'the Cardinal advises him to castle.'
0:41:44 > 0:41:46But he's vulnerable, he needs protection.
0:41:46 > 0:41:48May I suggest you castle him?
0:41:48 > 0:41:51'But this move cannot be made when the king is in check.
0:41:51 > 0:41:53'This man is a Cardinal, ordained by God.
0:41:53 > 0:41:56'I was almost sick into my own lap when I saw this happen.'
0:42:00 > 0:42:03This next letter comes in from Dame Washalot,
0:42:03 > 0:42:05from the slippery slope at the Magic Faraway Tree.
0:42:15 > 0:42:18'Here, all the men are shown wearing the aforementioned trousers,
0:42:18 > 0:42:23'which would not come to exist in the Mediterranean for another 600 years,
0:42:23 > 0:42:24'and which the ancient Greeks never wore,
0:42:24 > 0:42:27'opting for loose-fitting, draped clothing.'
0:42:39 > 0:42:43And that's another story, Dame, but your secret's safe with me.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45A more serious moment now,
0:42:45 > 0:42:48as we touch on the very serious subject of war.
0:42:48 > 0:42:51The film War Horse makes the horror of war very clear by showing
0:42:51 > 0:42:54how much worse things are when they happen to a horse.
0:42:54 > 0:42:58But not everyone was convinced, certainly not Doris Mantovani,
0:42:58 > 0:43:00of Clinic in Sexfordshire.
0:43:06 > 0:43:09'Before that, in spite of the expensive set
0:43:09 > 0:43:11'and the money spent in the art department,
0:43:11 > 0:43:15'I was horrified to see Major Stewart refer to the Indian NCO as Sergeant Major.'
0:43:15 > 0:43:17Excellent, Sergeant Major.
0:43:17 > 0:43:20'There was no such rank in the British Indian Army.
0:43:20 > 0:43:23'Indian cavalry Sergeants were known as Duffadars.
0:43:23 > 0:43:26'More senior Indian cavalry officers held VCO ranks, Jemadar,
0:43:26 > 0:43:30'Risaldar and Risaldar Major, which had no British equivalent.'
0:43:35 > 0:43:36# Come fly with me
0:43:36 > 0:43:40# Let's fly, let's fly away.#
0:43:40 > 0:43:42I'm not just singing that to be sexy,
0:43:42 > 0:43:45it's also relevant to our next two letters which both have a distinctly
0:43:45 > 0:43:49aviational theme and come to us courtesy of identical twins,
0:43:49 > 0:43:53Bethany and Ethany Sleepytime, from Up The Wooden Hill in Bedfordshire.
0:43:53 > 0:43:55Here is Bethany's letter.
0:43:57 > 0:43:59'..the sheik's aircraft has a Moroccan tail ID,
0:43:59 > 0:44:01'not a Yemeni tail ID.'
0:44:03 > 0:44:04While Ethany has this to say.
0:44:06 > 0:44:08'..the plane travelling to Rome
0:44:08 > 0:44:12'is definitely a Romanian air transport aircraft.
0:44:12 > 0:44:14'This is because the film was shot in Romania.'
0:44:15 > 0:44:18Thank you so much, Ethany, we all really enjoyed your letter
0:44:18 > 0:44:20and you've won our letter of the week.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23Your prize is this model of a Sopwith Concord.
0:44:24 > 0:44:27Which we'll send to you via airmail.
0:44:27 > 0:44:30Have a word with your sister, though, her letter was rubbish.
0:44:30 > 0:44:32In fact, you might want to cut her out of your life,
0:44:32 > 0:44:34she seems like dead weight.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Join us again next week on Pointless View
0:44:36 > 0:44:39when I will be joined for a panel discussion
0:44:39 > 0:44:42by Richard Dawkins, Germaine Greer and the Great Soprendo.
0:44:47 > 0:44:49What would we do without crime?
0:44:49 > 0:44:52Eh? If we didn't have crime, the Godfather films would be
0:44:52 > 0:44:56about a series of christenings, Sexy Beast would be just two hours
0:44:56 > 0:44:59of shiny cockneys having a lovely holly bobs, and Oceans 11 to 13
0:44:59 > 0:45:03would be a dreary account of too many men making a deposit.
0:45:03 > 0:45:05But, luckily, there is crime.
0:45:05 > 0:45:09Hurray for crime and all the films that are made about her.
0:45:09 > 0:45:11Though, as you'll see,
0:45:11 > 0:45:15crime movies are just as guilty of some inexcusable errors.
0:45:15 > 0:45:17This is Drive, a soulless film
0:45:17 > 0:45:20about a character called the driver, who does driving...
0:45:20 > 0:45:22And crimes.
0:45:24 > 0:45:27Here, the driver nudges a car off the cliff, the rotter.
0:45:29 > 0:45:30But although he hits the door...
0:45:32 > 0:45:35..it's the bumper that gets crumpled.
0:45:35 > 0:45:38Which is going to play havoc with the no-claims bonus.
0:45:40 > 0:45:42Now for the dullest Transformer ever.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44A kind of Optimus Sub-Prime.
0:45:48 > 0:45:52The car that beeps at Ryan and Carey is clearly a silver Ford Focus.
0:45:52 > 0:45:55But as it passes, it's equally clearly a blue Toyota.
0:45:57 > 0:46:00Transformers, Toyota Corollas in disguise.
0:46:05 > 0:46:07Sometimes in films it's necessary to flip the shot,
0:46:07 > 0:46:10for example if an actor has put his face on the wrong way round
0:46:10 > 0:46:13or is frowning instead of smiling.
0:46:13 > 0:46:17But, hey, Drive film-makers, if you are going to flip the shot try to
0:46:17 > 0:46:20do it when there's not lots of big writing on screen, yeah?
0:46:23 > 0:46:25We have a bit of an underwear problem
0:46:25 > 0:46:29in the moderately entertaining Man On A Ledge.
0:46:29 > 0:46:30Joey is wearing his green undies
0:46:30 > 0:46:33above his jeans because he is one of "da yoot".
0:46:33 > 0:46:37But in the very same sequence they go all black.
0:46:37 > 0:46:41This is why they normally don't let actors wear their own pants.
0:46:44 > 0:46:47Robert De Niro is, of course, a follower of the Method School
0:46:47 > 0:46:50developed by Lee Strasberg from the teachings of Stanislavsky.
0:46:52 > 0:46:55Whereas Jason Statham supports Chelsea.
0:46:55 > 0:46:58- What you doing? - I'm going to get my watch back.
0:46:58 > 0:47:01This is the pacey but basic action movie Killer Elite.
0:47:03 > 0:47:07De Niro's training is in evidence here as simply can't decide whether
0:47:07 > 0:47:10his character would wear his watch in his back pocket
0:47:10 > 0:47:11or on his wrist.
0:47:17 > 0:47:20Jason now peevishly kicks a slat from the chair he's tied to
0:47:20 > 0:47:23but such is his kinship with all things wooden,
0:47:23 > 0:47:25he's repaired it by next time we see it.
0:47:27 > 0:47:29You know when a film is about castles
0:47:29 > 0:47:32and nights or Jesuses or Vikings or all of those?
0:47:32 > 0:47:35Well, they didn't film them back then because they couldn't,
0:47:35 > 0:47:38because long ago, people were stupid and couldn't plug things in.
0:47:38 > 0:47:41But the problem with filming historical items is that
0:47:41 > 0:47:44things that have no business being on screen sometimes turn up -
0:47:44 > 0:47:47like mobile phones, digital watches or Danny Dyer.
0:47:47 > 0:47:50Here's a selection of some of the most prominent
0:47:50 > 0:47:51anachronisms of the year.
0:47:51 > 0:47:54I'm actually wearing an anachronism right now.
0:47:54 > 0:47:56I'm sure you've spotted it. Yes, that's right.
0:47:56 > 0:47:59This shirt is from 2035.
0:47:59 > 0:48:03More from Jason Mark-Of-Quality Statham here in Killer Elite.
0:48:03 > 0:48:05Yeah, me neither.
0:48:05 > 0:48:08In this thrill-packed scene set in 1980,
0:48:08 > 0:48:10we can see a Superdry logo on his coat,
0:48:10 > 0:48:13when in fact lads-mag readers didn't wander around
0:48:13 > 0:48:18with that written all over them until the brand was founded in 2003.
0:48:18 > 0:48:19Just have to slow him down, won't we?
0:48:22 > 0:48:26Everyone's favourite lovable rom-com kook Margaret Thatcher
0:48:26 > 0:48:29in the impressive Iron Lady is getting her hair done.
0:48:29 > 0:48:31But this scene's set in 1975,
0:48:31 > 0:48:34two years before those tinfoil highlighty things
0:48:34 > 0:48:39were patented. Maybe they're just bits of her iron head or something.
0:48:39 > 0:48:41It's not like this film got any of its facts wrong.
0:48:44 > 0:48:47Underwhelming remake The Thing now.
0:48:48 > 0:48:51So, what's wrong with this troubling scene, do you think,
0:48:51 > 0:48:53off the top of your head?
0:48:53 > 0:48:56That's right, it's what's on top of her head - moulded
0:48:56 > 0:49:00plastic headphones weren't available in 1982 when this scene is set.
0:49:00 > 0:49:04Other proof that this isn't from 1982 is that nobody is
0:49:04 > 0:49:06playing Simon or eating Ice Magic.
0:49:10 > 0:49:14In this clip from the brilliant War Horse, we see our hero,
0:49:14 > 0:49:16the war horse, busy being a horse in a war.
0:49:16 > 0:49:20See as he gallops magnificently down a long, straight trench.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Problem is, trenches were built in zigzags
0:49:23 > 0:49:27so enemy interlopers couldn't just pick off everyone with a few shots.
0:49:28 > 0:49:32I'd go and see the stage version instead. It's got massive puppets.
0:49:39 > 0:49:41An adventure begins.
0:49:41 > 0:49:44We Bought A Zoo is set way back in June 2010.
0:49:44 > 0:49:46It's a formulaic and nauseating film
0:49:46 > 0:49:48about how some people open a zoo.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52And about how Matt Damon invents a time machine.
0:49:52 > 0:49:55Because the house listings he's following here
0:49:55 > 0:49:56are from January 2011.
0:49:57 > 0:50:00And later on he refers to his daughter as being...
0:50:00 > 0:50:03I can't even find you, you're like a Chilean miner.
0:50:03 > 0:50:06..when the mine didn't collapse until August that year.
0:50:06 > 0:50:10Call the miners, you could have warned them, prescient Matt Damon!
0:50:10 > 0:50:12You know, we're a forgiving bunch here at GMMIV,
0:50:12 > 0:50:16and there's nothing we like better than seeing a mistake unmade.
0:50:16 > 0:50:19That's why we're thrilled that next year there's a whole crop
0:50:19 > 0:50:23of films which are going to be remade, re-released or done in 3-D.
0:50:23 > 0:50:25Let's hope they do it right this time,
0:50:25 > 0:50:27not like these original doofs.
0:50:27 > 0:50:31Groundbreaking thrill-athon Jurassic Park
0:50:31 > 0:50:32is released in 3-D next year,
0:50:32 > 0:50:36and this scene of flocking dinosaurs will look amazing.
0:50:36 > 0:50:38Can I say "flocking" pre-watershed?
0:50:38 > 0:50:41Anyway, watch as they run past the kids,
0:50:41 > 0:50:44only to disappear in the next shot as they turn and run away.
0:50:47 > 0:50:49Dinosaurs are big and dangerous, yes?
0:50:49 > 0:50:53They might escape, so you need a strong fence around the perimeter.
0:50:53 > 0:50:54All the way round, no gaps.
0:50:54 > 0:50:57Not like that massive one to the left of the gate.
0:50:57 > 0:51:01Oh, my God, dinosaurs! We're all going to die.
0:51:11 > 0:51:15Independence Day is getting a shiny new stereoscopic makeover in 2013,
0:51:15 > 0:51:18and let's hope it's a better special edition than the dreadful
0:51:18 > 0:51:22full-screen DVD release which revealed some astonishing clunkers.
0:51:23 > 0:51:26When under attack from 15-mile high flying saucers,
0:51:26 > 0:51:27what's the best thing to do?
0:51:27 > 0:51:31Run for cover, arm yourself, stick your head between your legs,
0:51:31 > 0:51:35wet yourself... Don't do those last two at the same time, by the way.
0:51:35 > 0:51:39Well, these Washington sightseers opt to keep calm and carry on,
0:51:39 > 0:51:42milling about and taking photos before the White House
0:51:42 > 0:51:43is blown to smithereens.
0:51:43 > 0:51:45- The fools!- Now what do we do?
0:51:48 > 0:51:51Of course, being the official residence of the leader
0:51:51 > 0:51:54of the free world, security in the White House is second to none.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59But no missile defence strategy could catch this intruder,
0:51:59 > 0:52:04who flummoxed them all by crawling on his hands and knees. Clever.
0:52:10 > 0:52:15A new version of Robocop is coming in, well, 2014, but will
0:52:15 > 0:52:19they solve the big mystery of the very satirical and violent original?
0:52:19 > 0:52:22Pay attention to Robocop's chin strap.
0:52:27 > 0:52:31As when he removes his helmet, where's my chinstrap?
0:52:31 > 0:52:33He's a chinstrap-less wonder.
0:52:37 > 0:52:41Perhaps 2013's Man Of Steel can match the awesomeness
0:52:41 > 0:52:44of the best Superman movie, Superman II.
0:52:44 > 0:52:46This is my favourite bit,
0:52:46 > 0:52:49where Non throws Daily Planet editor Perry White about.
0:52:49 > 0:52:51He's terrified.
0:52:51 > 0:52:54Thankfully, a kindly crewmember on the right of the screen
0:52:54 > 0:52:56is there to hold his hand. Bless.
0:52:57 > 0:53:01There's so much back patting that goes on in the film industry
0:53:01 > 0:53:04that many execs are now forced to wear reinforced blazers.
0:53:04 > 0:53:06Much of this incestuous congratulating goes on
0:53:06 > 0:53:09in the award ceremonies, which are countless.
0:53:09 > 0:53:10Unless you count them.
0:53:10 > 0:53:12In which case there are about 200 a year.
0:53:12 > 0:53:17Well, this year there are 201, as we are about to enter our final section
0:53:17 > 0:53:18of the night, and present
0:53:18 > 0:53:22the Most Mistakes In One Scene Award For 2012.
0:53:22 > 0:53:27Or, MMIOS Twe-Twe, as I like to call them. Here are the nominations.
0:53:27 > 0:53:30I should have an envelope. Could someone get me an envelope?
0:53:30 > 0:53:33NB, a glittery one. Thanks.
0:53:36 > 0:53:38Here's the punningly titled
0:53:38 > 0:53:42but sadly made Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked.
0:53:42 > 0:53:44Here are two kids in blue watching the monk-dancing.
0:53:46 > 0:53:48And then piff-paff-poof, they're gone.
0:53:48 > 0:53:49And if that's not enough,
0:53:49 > 0:53:53celebrity Scientologist Jason Lee pushes past yellow polo shirt guy...
0:53:57 > 0:54:00..and then pushes past him again. And now the girls are back...
0:54:01 > 0:54:04..only for one of them to be replaced.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06What a load of chip. Four mistakes.
0:54:11 > 0:54:13Next up, The Inbetweeners Movie,
0:54:13 > 0:54:16and it's a busy time for wrong background artists.
0:54:16 > 0:54:18When Jay and Si are fighting,
0:54:18 > 0:54:22an extra in a red cap appears behind Will's right shoulder.
0:54:22 > 0:54:24I shall call him Leopold.
0:54:24 > 0:54:28Leopold then mysteriously keeps shifting positions between shots.
0:54:31 > 0:54:32All right, come on, you two.
0:54:35 > 0:54:38I'm sick of his BLEEP. I'm going to BLEEP do him!
0:54:38 > 0:54:41Oh, you're hard, Si(!) I didn't see you do me just now.
0:54:41 > 0:54:42- Let's go for walk!- Don't cry, Si.
0:54:42 > 0:54:46Then a couple with a male carrying a beach towel over his shoulder
0:54:46 > 0:54:49walk past and over to the right side of the road.
0:54:49 > 0:54:50Then there's a cut,
0:54:50 > 0:54:53and the couple are walking to the right side of the road again.
0:54:55 > 0:54:57Meanwhile, after the fight, Jay walks away
0:54:57 > 0:54:59and kicks a nearby metal bench.
0:54:59 > 0:55:01The bench is empty when he kicks it.
0:55:01 > 0:55:04But in the wide shot, it's only Leopold sitting there again.
0:55:04 > 0:55:08Five mistakes. Thanks, The Leopold Movie!
0:55:09 > 0:55:11And the award goes to...
0:55:13 > 0:55:14That is not what I asked for.
0:55:18 > 0:55:20And the award goes to...
0:55:20 > 0:55:24this astounding mistake-filled scene from Men In Black III.
0:55:24 > 0:55:27Here, Griffin talks about the Mets baseball team.
0:55:27 > 0:55:30..The World Series, they were in last place every single season
0:55:30 > 0:55:31- until they...- Wrong.
0:55:31 > 0:55:35In 1968, the Mets were second to last in the World Series.
0:55:37 > 0:55:39Now look at his hands.
0:55:39 > 0:55:41They've gone.
0:55:41 > 0:55:45This packet is especially odd. A big box one second...
0:55:48 > 0:55:50And the next it shrinks to tiny sized.
0:55:50 > 0:55:53You're not going to fit many crackers in that.
0:55:53 > 0:55:57But it doesn't end there, oh no. This could be a record, viewers.
0:55:57 > 0:56:00Now, more hand trouble.
0:56:00 > 0:56:01Here they're back.
0:56:01 > 0:56:02Now they're gone.
0:56:04 > 0:56:06And as the final coup de grace,
0:56:06 > 0:56:10Griffin's arms are now interlocked with J and K's.
0:56:10 > 0:56:12Men In Black 3, movie mistakes, six.
0:56:12 > 0:56:14Congratulations.
0:56:14 > 0:56:15I lost my planet.
0:56:15 > 0:56:19Well, the time has come for film-makers to breathe a sigh of relief
0:56:19 > 0:56:21because we're done, for now,
0:56:21 > 0:56:23but beware, Hollywood, if you try and get away
0:56:23 > 0:56:25with even the tiniest little error,
0:56:25 > 0:56:28a misplaced hair, a shifting coffee cup,
0:56:28 > 0:56:31or a making John Carter, we will be watching.
0:56:31 > 0:56:32Good night.
0:56:50 > 0:56:53Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd