0:00:23 > 0:00:28Ah, the car chase, that old movie chestnut.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30You never see them in real life, do you?
0:00:30 > 0:00:33The closest I've ever come is desperately needing the loo
0:00:33 > 0:00:35and being 15 miles away from Toddington services.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37And if you think movie chases end messily,
0:00:37 > 0:00:41you should have seen what I left on the hard shoulder of the M1!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Well, let's have a look at some car-based clunkers
0:00:43 > 0:00:48in a section I'm calling The Steering Wheel of Misfortune.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50What? Oh.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Apparently I'm not calling it that,
0:00:52 > 0:00:54I'm calling it Great Car Chase Mistakes.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Would it kill them to listen to my ideas just once in a while?
0:00:58 > 0:01:01Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise in Collateral here,
0:01:01 > 0:01:03about to have an almighty car crash.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08But don't get too distracted by the taxi flipping over...
0:01:10 > 0:01:11..because what's this?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Has someone left a bag on the road?
0:01:14 > 0:01:18No, that'll be a badly hidden camera filming the close-up shot.
0:01:18 > 0:01:19There it is.
0:01:19 > 0:01:24Maybe it was left there by someone who gets a kick out of filming car crashes.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Probably waiting for George Michael.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33A classic car chase from Mission: Impossible II.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Even Ethan Hunt knows that
0:01:34 > 0:01:38it's good health and safety practice to buckle up,
0:01:38 > 0:01:41especially when you're driving like a maniac.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Hang on, the safety belt's gone again.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49No, you're definitely not wearing it, Tom, you fibber.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Who would've thought that Tom Cruise was capable of telling the world a massive lie?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Oh, no, hang on, it's back on again.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09Much better. Tom, I take it all back and apologise.
0:02:09 > 0:02:10No!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17If the world does end in 2012, at least it'd stop John Cusack
0:02:17 > 0:02:20making any more shocking disaster movies.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Here he is, saving his family and his wife's new husband,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25who appears to be played by me.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I don't remember doing that.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31First, he knocks my Porsche into a hole in the ground.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Ooh, look how annoyed I am.
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Sorry.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38But then, as he drives away, the hole and my lovely Porsche
0:02:38 > 0:02:42have completely disappeared. Cusack!
0:02:45 > 0:02:48This film is called Race To Witch Mountain.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51To me, that sounds like the sort of question a confused hiker might ask.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53"Which mountain?"
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Just look at that bumper. Ooh, it's all smashed up.
0:02:56 > 0:03:00But don't worry, this is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson driving,
0:03:00 > 0:03:02so suddenly it's all fixed!
0:03:02 > 0:03:05So the big question is not "Which mountain?"
0:03:05 > 0:03:08but "Why am I watching this nonsense?"
0:03:10 > 0:03:11Take the wheel.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17Now another spot of movie magic, this time from Swordfish.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20And I really mean magic.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23Look closely as this car literally takes off.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26The ramp it drove up has been removed in the edit.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31Prepare for lift-off.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32And crash.
0:03:35 > 0:03:39More movie nonsense now with The Taking of Pelham 123.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Check out this police car's lights
0:03:41 > 0:03:44getting smashed off as it rolls over.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Look out!
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Yeah, definitely gone.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54And now, all of a sudden,
0:03:54 > 0:03:56they're back again.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00How convenient. Actually, nothing about that is convenient.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04(CAMP) Bond! James Bond!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07His appeal is the exotic locations, the beautiful women
0:04:07 > 0:04:10and the fancy cars, but he is after all a civil servant,
0:04:10 > 0:04:14and even Bond's style is bound to be cramped in this age of Government spending cuts.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17"How do you like your martini, Mr Bond?"
0:04:17 > 0:04:19"Er, buy one, get one free?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21"I haven't got much money, Penny..."
0:04:21 > 0:04:23I am, of course, joking.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28The Bond films are based on a series of books by Ian Fleming. What a guy.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31Yeah, writing spy novels AND discovering penicillin.
0:04:31 > 0:04:36Unfortunately, he is also responsible for 22 films' worth of movie mistakes.
0:04:36 > 0:04:41Let's start at the beginning - Sean Connery in Dr No.
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Bond is waiting to knock someone off with his silenced weapon.
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Notice he's wearing a tie. Did I say tie? No tie.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51You can't be sherioush.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Another classic scene, Connery and Ursula Andress on the beach
0:04:57 > 0:05:01being shot at and shouted at by a man with a megaphone.
0:05:01 > 0:05:02Are you coming out?
0:05:02 > 0:05:06But here's the gaffe. When the shouty man removes the megaphone,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08he still has a megaphone voice.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10..be back with the dogs!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- Full speed ahead. - MEGAPHONE: No need to shout, mate.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Say what you like about Roger Moore,
0:05:17 > 0:05:20he could take a kick in the face like no other Bond...
0:05:23 > 0:05:25..probably because when it was face-kicking time,
0:05:25 > 0:05:29he had a very unconvincing stuntman take his place.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32Right in the kisser.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Here's the iconic opening
0:05:39 > 0:05:42from Brosnan's first Bond outing, GoldenEye,
0:05:42 > 0:05:45with some freestyle dam-diving.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Notice how there's no snow anywhere to be seen.
0:05:50 > 0:05:52It actually looks quite warm and sunny.
0:05:53 > 0:05:58He's covertly breaking into an army base at the bottom, by the way.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05But a little later, when Bond emerges from the base,
0:06:05 > 0:06:09it's suddenly the middle of winter, with snow all over the ground.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Oh, and he's right at the top of a mountain,
0:06:13 > 0:06:16not at the bottom of a dam. Dam it, Bond!
0:06:20 > 0:06:25Here's Alan Cumming as supergeek Boris Grishenko.
0:06:25 > 0:06:28He's such a lovely man. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Or snow.
0:06:30 > 0:06:34That's because it isn't real snow, it's very non-melty fake snow.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36Come on, Cumming...
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Bond's in a bit of a pickle here -
0:06:43 > 0:06:46well, a helicopter ejector seat, to be precise.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53Luckily, he's got those two lovely white parachutes
0:06:53 > 0:06:55to bring him down to safety.
0:06:59 > 0:07:03Did I say white? Sorry, I meant red and white.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07The things we do for frequent-flyer mileage.
0:07:07 > 0:07:08Oh, Pierce, you joker!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11My side is literally splitting.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Movie folk aren't always the smartest tools in the box,
0:07:14 > 0:07:17and this is apparent when they're asked to write something.
0:07:17 > 0:07:22If the clips we're about to see are to be believed, then apparently, it is impossible
0:07:22 > 0:07:25to put pen to paper on screen without making some massive error.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28Well, if that really is true, then I've got a word for you.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Ooh, hang on. No, that's right. Roll the clips.
0:07:33 > 0:07:36St Trinian's, and no, the mistake here isn't the whole movie.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Keep an eye on the blackboard behind Russell Brand.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41Nothing written next to number five.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44Search for the criminal inside yourself. Yes?
0:07:46 > 0:07:48- BOTH:- Theft.
0:07:48 > 0:07:52Then suddenly, writing has appeared on Russell's blackboardy-woardy.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Good work.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00Here's a newspaper that clearly says it's from the year 1980.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03But hold the press, what's this?
0:08:04 > 0:08:07TheEmbreyStar.com?!
0:08:07 > 0:08:08A web address in 1980?
0:08:08 > 0:08:12The World Wide Web didn't exist until the 1990s.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Another Oscar winner now.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21Look at the word "direktor" being written on Oskar Schindler's door.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25But later in the film, the letters look completely different -
0:08:25 > 0:08:28much bigger and in a different font.
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I'm sorry, you can't blame this one on the Nazis.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35I imagine you sitting in a dark basement room
0:08:35 > 0:08:37bent over papers and computer screens.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41And finally, a chilling scene from Hannibal.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44When crazy old Dr Lecter signs his letter to Clarice Starling,
0:08:44 > 0:08:47there is no hyphen between "Hannibal Lecter"
0:08:47 > 0:08:49and "MD".
0:08:51 > 0:08:52'PS: Clearly...'
0:08:52 > 0:08:56But when Starling reads the letter, there's a hyphen.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Someone's head should be served on a platter for this mistake.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Maybe with some minted peas and a nice cabernet sauvignon.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04HE SLURPS