Episode 9

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0:00:23 > 0:00:26There are a lot of things that are just wrong about Hollywood.

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Why do the actors get paid so much?

0:00:28 > 0:00:31Why does Jennifer Aniston make so many dodgy rom-coms?

0:00:31 > 0:00:34And why, Mel Gibson, why?

0:00:34 > 0:00:40But we're here to right some movie wrongs, or at least point them out and be sarcastic about them.

0:00:40 > 0:00:41Enjoy!

0:00:41 > 0:00:46Get Him To The Greek now, and we join the party in full swing.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48With Russell Brand, some sexy girls,

0:00:48 > 0:00:52Puff Diddy Daddy Combs and something on fire.

0:00:52 > 0:00:54- Sergio's gone crazy! - I love this game!

0:00:54 > 0:00:57And note the night-time cityscape in the windows.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59A real night to remember.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01I don't think so!

0:01:01 > 0:01:04Only when they get outside it's not night at all,

0:01:04 > 0:01:05it's the middle of the day.

0:01:07 > 0:01:11Exactly how long is that walk from the room to the exit?

0:01:14 > 0:01:17Look carefully at this clip from Ronin.

0:01:17 > 0:01:21Someone's spying on some tough guys from a window through a camera.

0:01:23 > 0:01:26But the next camera shot is clearly from someone standing

0:01:26 > 0:01:29right in front of them on the street. Very undercover.

0:01:32 > 0:01:37Here's a newspaper that clearly says it's from the year 1980.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40But hold the press, what's this?

0:01:41 > 0:01:43TheEmbreyStar.com?!

0:01:43 > 0:01:45A web address in 1980?

0:01:45 > 0:01:49The World Wide Web didn't exist until the 1990s.

0:01:51 > 0:01:56Ah, legs crossed left over right, the classic relaxation position.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00- I will never become an Omega... - I mean, right over left.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02That's it, right over left.

0:02:02 > 0:02:04Left over right?

0:02:04 > 0:02:05Please.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07Right over left?

0:02:07 > 0:02:10I cannot keep up with the Joneses.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14This isn't about me selling my products,

0:02:14 > 0:02:17I have to ensure my unit is selling their products.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19There's that guy Mulder, from The X Files,

0:02:19 > 0:02:21with some paranormal activity.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Keep an eye on his arm. It's up by his head.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27Separate bedrooms perhaps?

0:02:27 > 0:02:29Down again.

0:02:29 > 0:02:32You're not a great salesman.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Touching his ear.

0:02:34 > 0:02:37Touching the table. Spooky.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Harry Potter's full of all kinds of magical nonsense.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45That's it, all I need's a bit of luck.

0:02:45 > 0:02:49He's got an invisibility cloak, but in this scene he's also got invisibility glasses.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51Look, no lenses.

0:02:53 > 0:02:55It's a miracle.

0:02:58 > 0:03:03In Final Destination we see a young lady striking a tiny match

0:03:03 > 0:03:06that suddenly becomes absolutely massive.

0:03:06 > 0:03:08You could say... the match doesn't match.

0:03:10 > 0:03:12Look, it's all completely chicken soup.

0:03:12 > 0:03:15- It's what?- It's kosher. MECHANICAL WHIRRING

0:03:15 > 0:03:16As Christmas.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20Lock Stock may have Two Smoking Barrels, but in this scene there's one massive clunker.

0:03:20 > 0:03:23- I need some artillery, too.- The fruit machine sounds like it's working.

0:03:23 > 0:03:25This is London, not the Lebanon.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28But no reels move at any point.

0:03:28 > 0:03:32Oi, Guy Ritchie, back up the apples and pears and sort your movie out.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36I don't like you.

0:03:36 > 0:03:40Dustin Hoffman about to reveal a revolutionary new product.

0:03:40 > 0:03:42Shaving foam that shaves for you.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Leave on for a bit during a dramatic scene.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48Wipe foam off...

0:03:48 > 0:03:50and you're clean-shaven.

0:03:50 > 0:03:53Mrs Robinson, get that boy to the Dragon's Den.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57PHONE RINGS Pick it up.

0:03:57 > 0:04:02A dark, atmospheric thriller from the Coen brothers and what could be more creepy than a haunted phone?

0:04:02 > 0:04:06- It's still ringing after she picks it up. - RINGING PERSISTS

0:04:06 > 0:04:07Let's see that again.

0:04:11 > 0:04:13RINGING PERSISTS

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Oh, hi, it's Robert from Movie Mistakes.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17I'd like my money back, please.

0:04:19 > 0:04:24Fans of Star Trek prefer to be called Trekkers, because the term "Trekkie" is deemed offensive.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27A bit like "tragic, lonely geek-face".

0:04:27 > 0:04:31Some fans have even gone to the trouble of learning the entire language of Klingon.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34To those people I say, "Brak nik toff jah bak mak,"

0:04:34 > 0:04:39which doesn't mean anything as I've got better things to do with my life.

0:04:39 > 0:04:43As it happens, Bones McCoy was a nickname of a kid I went to school with,

0:04:43 > 0:04:48after he was caught in an uncompromising situation with a bag of crinkle-cut crisps.

0:04:48 > 0:04:52Stand by for some hi-tech, high-action sky-diving

0:04:52 > 0:04:54from the recent Star Trek reboot.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57We can see the order of the sky-divers on the display screen.

0:04:57 > 0:05:00Red first, then blue, then yellow.

0:05:00 > 0:05:035,800 metres.

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Distance to target, 5,000 metres.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08When we see them outside, they're in a completely different order.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Blue, yellow, red.

0:05:11 > 0:05:15Obviously, the guy in red dies horribly, as required by Star Trek law.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Don't people ever learn?

0:05:23 > 0:05:26Here's Nero, the villain, throttling some poor bloke.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29But, looking at his missing right ear tip,

0:05:29 > 0:05:33I'd guess he's already been in a fight, possibly with Mike Tyson.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37- Spock!- But now it's his left ear that's all chewed up.

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- And his right ear is all pointy. - Spock!

0:05:40 > 0:05:42You leave that Spock alone, it's not his fault.

0:05:44 > 0:05:47- Stop the ship.- Kirk, how the hell did you get on board the Enterprise?

0:05:47 > 0:05:50Here's Uhura standing right by her man, Mr Spock.

0:05:50 > 0:05:54Only, in this shot, she's standing quite far away.

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Women!

0:05:59 > 0:06:01Some old-school Trek now,

0:06:01 > 0:06:05back when they knew how to dress for every occasion.

0:06:05 > 0:06:08Falling to your certain death, only a black outfit will do.

0:06:12 > 0:06:18Being saved just before certain death, maybe a blue top would be more suitable.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20I suspect his trousers are brown though.

0:06:22 > 0:06:27Some people complained that William Shatner's acting was a bit wooden, like a puppet.

0:06:27 > 0:06:31Well, I think that's a bit unfair. He's nothing like a puppet.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35You know, with strings attached, holding him up in the air.

0:06:35 > 0:06:41Or people just off-screen pushing him about, controlling his every move during fight scenes.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43No, nothing like a puppet.

0:06:45 > 0:06:46Ambassador...

0:06:46 > 0:06:51Ambassador, with this next movie mistake you are really spoiling us.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53Spare me your human platitudes, Kirk.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55Look at the display of guns on the wall.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58Your son meant more to me than you can know.

0:06:58 > 0:07:00And now look.

0:07:00 > 0:07:01Can you spot the difference?

0:07:01 > 0:07:03Yes, of course you can!

0:07:06 > 0:07:09Ah, there's the moustachioed Scotty, standing behind Kirk,

0:07:09 > 0:07:12his right-hand man there to comfort him in his time of need.

0:07:12 > 0:07:15This death takes place in the shadow of new life.

0:07:15 > 0:07:18The sunrise of a new world.

0:07:18 > 0:07:22A world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Hang on, where's Scotty?

0:07:26 > 0:07:31- BAGPIPES - Who's playing those blooming bagpipes? Oh, Scotty's back.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34Turns out he CAN change the laws of physics.

0:07:38 > 0:07:42Keep an eye on the injured actor in this scene from The Wrath Of Khan.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46He's making the most of his big moment by dying not once...

0:07:48 > 0:07:49..but twice.

0:07:51 > 0:07:52Let's see that again.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54He dies

0:07:54 > 0:07:56and then decides to close his eyes.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58Talk about overplaying your part.

0:08:00 > 0:08:04More vintage Star Trek now. Look at that lovely jumper.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07But it's the whales we're looking for here.

0:08:07 > 0:08:10There they are. Big remote-controlled whales.

0:08:10 > 0:08:13How do we know they're remote-controlled?

0:08:14 > 0:08:18Because that's the special-effects diver releasing them.

0:08:18 > 0:08:23I feel cheated. Next you'll be telling me there's no such thing as transparent aluminium.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Look at the big Klingon spaceship

0:08:29 > 0:08:31casting a huge shadow over the fishing boat.

0:08:31 > 0:08:37It's no good just turning the boat around, you won't get away from it that easily. Or will you?

0:08:38 > 0:08:39Well, the shadow's gone.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42That must mean the spaceship has too. Yay!

0:08:42 > 0:08:45Oh, no, there it is.