Episode 12

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

0:00:05 > 0:00:09two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew, "the painfully white".

0:00:09 > 0:00:13Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

0:00:13 > 0:00:16cinematic screw-ups and filmic failures.

0:00:18 > 0:00:22They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue,

0:00:22 > 0:00:25where they have returned with their prey,

0:00:25 > 0:00:29captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Fine, fine, I know they're not gold.

0:00:33 > 0:00:38Join them now as they celebrate Great Movie Mistakes.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44Even the sharpest amongst us have experienced moments of idiocy.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46Erm, I haven't.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49You still developing that range of asbestos balaclavas, Ben?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Sure am, my man!

0:00:51 > 0:00:53HE COUGHS

0:00:53 > 0:00:56But even Ben at the peak of his powers can't compete with

0:00:56 > 0:00:59these pretty awful clunkers we've got coming up.

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Some would argue that remaking Total Recall

0:01:03 > 0:01:04was a moment of idiocy itself.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06It's not great.

0:01:06 > 0:01:09Colin Farrell sorting through some passports.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Here's good old Henry Reed.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14- More like HENTY Reed. - Oh, you're right!

0:01:14 > 0:01:16Across the bottom of the passport,

0:01:16 > 0:01:17his name is misspelt.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20- Amazing spot, Tom! - Damn right!

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Not just a pretty face and sturdy set of calves.

0:01:23 > 0:01:27Also, can I just say, his signature is frankly embarrassing.

0:01:35 > 0:01:40Blimey! Argo has more continuity errors than factual errors!

0:01:40 > 0:01:44Right, we all know what safety glass being smashed sounds like, yeah?

0:01:44 > 0:01:46The crunch of freedom.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48- Beg your pardon, Ben?- Nothing.

0:01:48 > 0:01:49But listen to this...

0:01:51 > 0:01:53GLASS SHATTERS

0:01:53 > 0:01:55That's ordinary glass breaking.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01So what happens to the seven psychopaths at the end?

0:02:01 > 0:02:04I don't know what happens to them at the start.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06I loved Seven Psychopaths.

0:02:06 > 0:02:10Let me guess, it's got swearing and guns in it.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Actually, it's a sharp meta-textural romp

0:02:12 > 0:02:15which slyly subverts genre expectations.

0:02:15 > 0:02:20- Oh, wow.- And there are some pretty gruesome deaths.- Right(!)

0:02:21 > 0:02:22How about this?

0:02:22 > 0:02:26But the really gruesome thing is the fact that the text here

0:02:26 > 0:02:28is repeated here.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29Gross.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36I'd like to talk to you boys about Hit And Run.

0:02:36 > 0:02:37The film we're currently watching?

0:02:37 > 0:02:41What? Oh, yes, yes, of course, the film.

0:02:41 > 0:02:45- Good, because there are gaffes galore.- Really, Ben?

0:02:45 > 0:02:46Yep, check this out.

0:02:46 > 0:02:49Randy is chatting to Charlie on his iPhone,

0:02:49 > 0:02:51and he's only gone and held it upside down.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54These actors with their challenging jobs(!)

0:02:54 > 0:02:56Look, he can't even hold the coffee properly.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59That doesn't quite class as a movie mistake.

0:03:07 > 0:03:11Hit And Run? More like Miss And Run. Am I right, boys?

0:03:11 > 0:03:12Nicely done, Ben.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16- That fist isn't touching him. - No, no, he's a martial artist.

0:03:16 > 0:03:20He's mastered the minus one inch punch.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22He's mainly hitting him with chi.

0:03:25 > 0:03:29- Eight blocks that way. - Good, we're staying here. Let's go.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33The smartly character-focused Wolverine again.

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Now, notice that it's daytime

0:03:34 > 0:03:38when Logan and Marie go into the Love Hotel, but do you notice?

0:03:38 > 0:03:41Well, by the time they've made it up to their room, it's dark as night.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43Wassup wit dat?!

0:03:43 > 0:03:45That's just proof that even the transition from night to day

0:03:45 > 0:03:48is more efficient in Japan. Wha-cha!

0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Check out Yukio and that black portfolio she's handed.- Sure.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59I can, princess.

0:03:59 > 0:04:00I'm a soldier.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Look again, it's gone.

0:04:03 > 0:04:07Cor, that's probably just her mutant power making admin disappear!

0:04:07 > 0:04:11Actually, her mutant power is foreseeing people's deaths.

0:04:11 > 0:04:15- Thanks for bringing the mood down, Matthew.- You're very welcome, sir.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Intelligent and glossy thriller Jack Reacher here.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Now, we all know Tom Cruise is quite a short man

0:04:24 > 0:04:26but this looks ridiculous.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29He's just reversing down that dirt path. But listen...

0:04:31 > 0:04:32You can hear gears changing!

0:04:32 > 0:04:34ENGINE THRUMS WITH GEARS CHANGING

0:04:37 > 0:04:39You can't change gear in reverse!

0:04:39 > 0:04:43Unless Cruise has used his millions to pay for multiple reverse gears.

0:04:46 > 0:04:51It's the bright and bewildering Looper. Now, what's 7x8?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53Yes, 56.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57So, why, when we change shot, has it moved a space on the board?

0:04:57 > 0:04:59How long can you not sleep?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Possibly because the kid is an evil psychic?

0:05:01 > 0:05:03I didn't think you'd mastered Looper that well, Ben,

0:05:03 > 0:05:04but that's not a bad shout.

0:05:07 > 0:05:12Ah-ha, 56 is back, and now we have 21 too!

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Based on his face?

0:05:14 > 0:05:16Definitely evil and psychic.

0:05:16 > 0:05:18Joe.

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Now the 21 tile has disappeared,

0:05:20 > 0:05:22and 56 is back in the wrong place.

0:05:23 > 0:05:27Do this now, OK? You have 32 there, I know you know this one.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29And then the 21 comes back,

0:05:29 > 0:05:34with the 56 still misplaced as the kid puts down 32 where 56 should be!

0:05:34 > 0:05:38- No, 8x3 is what?- 32.

0:05:38 > 0:05:408x3 is what?

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Was that in any way worth the agony of re-watching this in such detail?

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Not remotely. Oh, hang on, I think I've found another. Go back a sec.

0:05:48 > 0:05:49Ohhhh!

0:05:49 > 0:05:54There, see. He has a fine set of demonic front teeth.

0:05:55 > 0:06:00- Now rewind again.- You'll wear the DVD out! Or something.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Look, now he's missing one!

0:06:03 > 0:06:06I hate child actors, like Danny DeVito.

0:06:06 > 0:06:09Ben, DeVito's been acting since the '60s.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Great, so he's a prolific child actor.

0:06:12 > 0:06:14She's not my mom.

0:06:17 > 0:06:20Jim Broadbent as the very British Timothy Cavendish here

0:06:20 > 0:06:24in the not-entirely successful adaptation of Cloud Atlas.

0:06:24 > 0:06:25He's typing a screenplay,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28and...pause!

0:06:29 > 0:06:30"Labouring" without a U?

0:06:30 > 0:06:34Not a very British way of spelling the word, is it, Broadbent?

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Maybe he was commenting on this mistake?

0:06:37 > 0:06:39La-boring, which is French for, "it's boring."

0:06:43 > 0:06:45Stale, uninspired,

0:06:45 > 0:06:48cheap, tacky, and a little bit sickly.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50No stars.

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Wow, Tom, you're really getting into this film criticism thing.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56No, I'm reviewing a Chinese take away I had on Just Eat.

0:06:56 > 0:06:59Fantastic chemistry, four stars.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01Are you reviewing a film, Ben?

0:07:01 > 0:07:04No! I'm reviewing my old chemistry teacher.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08He's opened a Chinese restaurant on Just Eat.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09Thanks for that, both.

0:07:09 > 0:07:13Some films are so terrible that continuity errors even improve them.

0:07:13 > 0:07:14Slightly.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16Let's have a look at the best of the worst.

0:07:16 > 0:07:19A proper clunker here from un-special,

0:07:19 > 0:07:23poorly scripted Total Recall.

0:07:23 > 0:07:26Yeah, Colin Farrell's stunt double is clearly a woman.

0:07:26 > 0:07:27Not quite, Benedict.

0:07:27 > 0:07:29That's Lori and look at her hair!

0:07:29 > 0:07:33Midway through the fight, her hair-band mysteriously disappears...

0:07:35 > 0:07:39..a fact that's totally ruined Total Recall for me.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44Colin Farrell is strapped into the futuristic

0:07:44 > 0:07:48equivalent of the Central Line, and...aha!

0:07:48 > 0:07:53That is not how you spell 'forecast'. It's not! It just isn't!

0:07:53 > 0:07:55How's your relationship forecast, Matthew?

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Patchy and cold.

0:08:01 > 0:08:05OK, look at what new guy Marek's doing here,

0:08:05 > 0:08:07and listen to Colin's advice...

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Whoa, whoa! Don't hold it like that.

0:08:09 > 0:08:11Hold it here.

0:08:11 > 0:08:13If you hold it there and it shorts,

0:08:13 > 0:08:16one of those bulbs will shoot straight through your hand.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18But he flat out doesn't listen to him.

0:08:18 > 0:08:21He's carried on doing exactly what he was doing!

0:08:21 > 0:08:22God's sake, Marek.

0:08:22 > 0:08:24Yeah, get it together, Marek.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27I despair of Marek, sometimes. I really do.

0:08:32 > 0:08:36What's truly scary about the Scary Movie franchise is that

0:08:36 > 0:08:37they've made it to five.

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Enough is enough.

0:08:39 > 0:08:42OK, now look. Snoop is on Mac Miller's right

0:08:42 > 0:08:44throughout the conversation.

0:08:44 > 0:08:46- Crazy got to have been there. - BLEEP.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Except now he's on his left!

0:08:48 > 0:08:52I'm surprised they managed to get Snoop to say the sentences in order.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55I don't think he was supposed to be in the film, he just turned up.

0:08:55 > 0:08:58- SNOOP:- I don't understand why the shampoo company can't fix that, man.

0:09:01 > 0:09:03- Are you going to try out?- Me?

0:09:03 > 0:09:06Kendra's about to show off some of her dancing skills.

0:09:06 > 0:09:08But, before that, it's a ventriloquism act.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- Look at her mouth as she says "Oh, food."- Oh, food!

0:09:11 > 0:09:13She's clearly not saying that.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16In fact, I'm a certified lip reader.

0:09:16 > 0:09:20She's saying, "Oh, gosh, why am I in this terrible, terrible film?"

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Let me see that certificate.

0:09:26 > 0:09:28It's Joe Wright's lacklustre

0:09:28 > 0:09:30recent adaptation of Anna Karenina.

0:09:30 > 0:09:32Morphine, anyone?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I know this is awful, but that is not the solution.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37No, what I meant was, look at the label

0:09:37 > 0:09:38on the morphine bottle.

0:09:38 > 0:09:39See how it changes?

0:09:39 > 0:09:42Here it's "la morphine", and later it's just "morphine"!

0:09:49 > 0:09:51Why didn't you tell me, for God's sake?

0:09:51 > 0:09:55It's the almost laughably bad, must-avoid Taken 2.

0:09:55 > 0:09:57Time for a glass of wine!

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Here's a bottle and two empty glasses.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02- But she's OK, right? - WOMAN:- Yeah, she's OK.

0:10:02 > 0:10:05Aaand without anyone touching them,

0:10:05 > 0:10:07they're now drinking from them.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Scientific proof that Neeson is a boss.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Are you OK?

0:10:15 > 0:10:17Domestic issues in the Mills household.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21They can't even decide on what time of year it is.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23Here Bryan talks of the upcoming fall break.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25You're leaving on fall break next week.

0:10:25 > 0:10:29This is the only time I can get to do this before I go to Istanbul.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30But, a few days later,

0:10:30 > 0:10:33Lenore's imminent spring break plans are cancelled.

0:10:33 > 0:10:36We had this trip planned to China

0:10:36 > 0:10:38for Kim's spring break as a family,

0:10:38 > 0:10:40you know, to try and work things out.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43I've been banned from attending either break.

0:10:43 > 0:10:45In the whole of America?

0:10:45 > 0:10:47Very much so.

0:10:49 > 0:10:51Come on.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54In this car chase, Neeson's got his car all dirty with food.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56See the windscreen?

0:10:57 > 0:11:00But look! Here - bang!

0:11:00 > 0:11:02The dirt's gone.

0:11:02 > 0:11:03Go a bit further,

0:11:03 > 0:11:05and it's grubby again.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07But also, rewind.

0:11:09 > 0:11:12If there's one thing that can ruin a high-octane car chase, it's a

0:11:12 > 0:11:15middle-aged woman ambling along at the same speed as the car.

0:11:18 > 0:11:20This is great.

0:11:20 > 0:11:23Here's Neeson, summoning the US Embassy on his sat-nav.

0:11:23 > 0:11:24It's a remarkable feat,

0:11:24 > 0:11:28given that he arbitrarily hammers away on entirely the wrong keys.

0:11:28 > 0:11:31And look, it isn't even a British alphabet!

0:11:31 > 0:11:34Never doubt the Neeson.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36He does have a very specific set of skills.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38You understand me?

0:11:41 > 0:11:42Strap yourselves in, folks.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45Another classic car chase.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48But the taxi they're driving appears to be invincible.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53The police car forces it to drive into some corrugated iron.

0:11:55 > 0:11:59And we see, later on, some definite damage to the left side.

0:12:02 > 0:12:05Move on a few moments, the damage has completely gone!

0:12:05 > 0:12:06But wait!

0:12:08 > 0:12:10Here's the rear window getting shot out.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13- WOMAN:- Dad!

0:12:13 > 0:12:16It's back in the very next shot!

0:12:19 > 0:12:21Yep, the car possesses a healing factor,

0:12:21 > 0:12:23making some believe it's the love child

0:12:23 > 0:12:26of Liam Neeson and Wolverine.

0:12:28 > 0:12:29And that's your lot.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31See you soon for some more...

0:12:31 > 0:12:34ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!