0:00:33 > 0:00:36There's a man on...one.
0:00:36 > 0:00:37Why?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Good morning, Joanna. How are you today?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- I am very good.- Good.
0:00:43 > 0:00:48- I have a little bit of a problem. Well, it's a friend of mine.- Uh-huh.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51- She bought a few chickens lately.- OK.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55And we thought maybe you could get in touch with Geordie.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58She has this Rhode Island Red called Ruby.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01And every so often, it's running around the garden,
0:01:01 > 0:01:07and then it just lies down on its side, and puts its feet up, like it's just going to die.
0:01:07 > 0:01:12And panic stations then, brings it in, puts it in a wee box,
0:01:12 > 0:01:17looks after it for about an hour, and then, up she gets, and off she goes again.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20And this thing could happen maybe three or four times a day,
0:01:20 > 0:01:23and we can't figure out what's wrong with her.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26This is very strange behaviour for a grown chicken.
0:01:26 > 0:01:27LAUGHS: A grown chicken!
0:01:27 > 0:01:32- So in other words, it just runs around, and then just keels over, and its legs in the air?- Yes.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. No, no, no, no.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41I'm not going to say that. I know people like that!
0:01:41 > 0:01:46Well, you see, I don't normally recommend people talk to Geordie about this kind of thing,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49because Geordie knows as much about chickens as I do. What?!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52Sorry! Someone else, in Belfast...
0:01:52 > 0:01:55a lady in Belfast says it's "practising for the oven".
0:01:59 > 0:02:03A little oven practice? What do you think of that? No?
0:02:03 > 0:02:07Not very good, is it? If it continues, it'll end up in the oven!
0:02:08 > 0:02:13- Geordie's there.- Geordie is here. I don't know what he's got to say. Good morning, Geordie.- Hello, Gerry!
0:02:13 > 0:02:18Nice to talk to you, Geordie. I haven't talked to you for a long time.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21- How are you doing yourself?- I couldn't be better, thank you.- Good.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- Well, our Marta's doing well. - Yes, yes.- The ponies an' all.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- Everything's good.- Ah!
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- I met a llama in Canada.- Did you? - Yes, indeed. - Did it take a bite out of you?
0:02:31 > 0:02:34No, it didn't actually. It kissed me.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36- What?- It kissed me on the cheek.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41Ah, well, you see, that's the old deodorant stuff you all wear.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Allure... No llama is safe.
0:02:45 > 0:02:50No, I was up in the wilds of Canada, and I was alone with these people, and they had a llama.
0:02:50 > 0:02:51And it was called Cuddles.
0:02:51 > 0:02:55And it came up to me, and it kissed me on the cheek.
0:02:55 > 0:02:57And I was very close to it.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00And, er...we bonded.
0:03:00 > 0:03:06- Listen, never mind that! What about this woman's chicken? What's that lady's name?- Joanna.- Joanna.
0:03:06 > 0:03:08What do you think that would be?
0:03:08 > 0:03:13- I would say, Gerry, that's what you call "egg bound".- "Egg bound?"
0:03:13 > 0:03:16"Egg bound", yes. Her egg bag has got twisted.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Her egg bag has got twisted?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Aye, well, she's pushing, you see, and she's getting nowhere.- Right!
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Story of my life!
0:03:25 > 0:03:27How do we deal with this?
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Well, that's the question on my lips, Geordie.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33How do you unbound an egg-bound hen?
0:03:33 > 0:03:38Well, you get a thing of Vaseline, and your two fingers, and put it up her bum.
0:03:38 > 0:03:40- And turn the egg.- Right!
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Give it gas and air!
0:03:46 > 0:03:49- Well, there you are. There's a radical solution!- Right.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53- So, you turn the egg with your fingers.- Rig Big was a contestant.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Rig Big?
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Well, I imagine, the "egg bag", as you call it,
0:03:59 > 0:04:04has been twisted, but, you know, it wouldn't...
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- Vaseline and two fingers?- Yes. Vaseline on your two fingers.- Right.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11This sounds like my weekend!
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Well, listen, I would imagine that, you know,
0:04:14 > 0:04:17I can't recommend that you do that yourself.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20You sound a little squeamish to me, now, Gerry.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25But if you want to do it... I'm thinking of the hen. But maybe you should check with a vet first, OK?
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Thank you very much, Geordie.- All right.- Right wee woman.- Thank you.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32By the way, someone suggested you play a song for that wee chicken. Play Egg-bound Honey.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34HE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER
0:04:42 > 0:04:44CHICKEN CLUCKING
0:04:46 > 0:04:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:04:48 > 0:04:50E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk