0:00:02 > 0:00:04DIALLING TONE
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Good morning, hello.
0:00:36 > 0:00:39- Good morning. I was on your cruise.- Yes.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42- I boarded the coach with my sister-in-law.- Yes.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- Went on the cruise.- Did you enjoy it?
0:00:45 > 0:00:49- Some of us.- Right. What seemed to be the trouble?
0:00:49 > 0:00:53The trouble was your arrogance portrayed by you on the ship.
0:00:53 > 0:00:57- Excuse me?- Excuse me, yes.- Excuse me a moment - Sean, what is this?
0:00:57 > 0:00:59Warts and all.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02- Arrogance?- Arrogance, precisely.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06- I can vouch for at least 300 other passengers.- 300?
0:01:06 > 0:01:10At least, who complained about your attitude on that ship
0:01:10 > 0:01:14towards passengers. You totally blanked them out.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16You and Mr Coyle.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18LAUGHTER
0:01:18 > 0:01:23You see, now I know it's not true because he spent all his time trying to get drinks of people.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26He didn't ignore anybody, he mooched off everybody.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31Excuse me, everyone I met and made friends with on that ship
0:01:31 > 0:01:34had nothing but complaints about you both.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37That's not a nice thing to say and I have to say it...
0:01:37 > 0:01:39It may not be, but it's the truth.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42That's counter to what we have been told, Mr Coyle.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44How were we arrogant?
0:01:44 > 0:01:48Totally and absolutely blanked most of the passengers.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Each and every one we spoke to, and we spoke to quite a few,
0:01:52 > 0:01:56all complained, "why is Gerry Anderson so arrogant?
0:01:56 > 0:01:58"Why won't he mix with the people?"
0:01:58 > 0:02:02It cost us all a lot of money to go on that cruise.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04- I was mixing with everybody. - No, you were not.
0:02:04 > 0:02:07You were never seen - only at night when you were introducing artists.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10That's why they call me Dracula.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13No, no. Sure I was knocking about during the day, for God's sake.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Of course you were not. - Where were you?
0:02:17 > 0:02:21Well, I wasn't swimming alongside the ship anyway.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24I think we might leave that now. Bye. Bye.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30- No matter what I've ever done, I've never been popular.- Aye.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33But I'm not a nasty person, I'm a nice person.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34But I don't go out of my way.
0:02:34 > 0:02:38There's a wee wicked streak in you. You're like a wee fox terrier.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41BARKS
0:02:41 > 0:02:42PANTS
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- But I genuinely like people.- No, you don't. You're a wee loner.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51- I'm not.- You are.- I talk to YOU, for God's sake.- You're a wee snob.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54I'm not stuck up. I'm the most friendly person.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58People who know me can't believe how friendly I am.
0:02:58 > 0:02:59- OK, one example. - What?
0:02:59 > 0:03:04You refusing a man a seat at a table you were sitting at on your own.
0:03:04 > 0:03:07- I thought he was a Jehovah's Witness.- You didn't.
0:03:07 > 0:03:09You looked up and said, "no," so don't...
0:03:09 > 0:03:11This man, I was in a cafe
0:03:11 > 0:03:15and I'm sitting there and I see a man coming in.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18He had a briefcase and looked like a man who was out looking for souls.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Bah, humbug. Tell the truth. Tell it as you told it.
0:03:21 > 0:03:25I looked at him - and you know the way people smile all the time?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28He came over and took his hand out like that there,
0:03:28 > 0:03:29like a bank manager.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34I recoiled and he said, "Can I shake your hand?"
0:03:34 > 0:03:37And I said, "Uh." He said, "Do you mind if I join you?"
0:03:37 > 0:03:38"As a matter of fact, I do."
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Because he was coming at me like a bank manager.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- You know the way they go... - HE FALSE-LAUGHS LOUDLY
0:03:44 > 0:03:48"How are you! You mind if I join you!"
0:03:49 > 0:03:51- There's a call on one. - Hello, good morning.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I have got a severe complaint about you.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55What's that?
0:03:55 > 0:03:58- Right, my wife spoke to you two weeks ago.- Yes.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You were going to send a CD to her.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05I haven't seen my wife now for two weeks.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08She's sitting waiting for the postman every day.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11- She obviously caught me...- Do you want to hear how upset she is?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Hold on, the dogs haven't seen her either. Listen.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16BARKING
0:04:16 > 0:04:17Thank you, that's enough.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21That's obviously a CD that needs to be sent soon.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23BARKING
0:04:23 > 0:04:25He's got six dogs!
0:04:25 > 0:04:26They haven't been fed or watered.
0:04:26 > 0:04:30They're starving to death - she won't come down from the top of the drive.
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Listen to this -
0:04:31 > 0:04:35I will pass your telephone number onto Mr Anderson after the show.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38- And he won't phone me. - He will phone you...- No, he won't.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Sean, you know as well as I know, he won't phone me.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43- You need to ask him. - He won't!- Ask him.
0:04:43 > 0:04:44Ask me, "Will I phone you?"
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Gerry, will you phone me?
0:04:45 > 0:04:47No.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:04:55 > 0:04:57E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk