Episode 2

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0:00:02 > 0:00:05Stand by as the listeners to the biggest radio show in the country

0:00:05 > 0:00:07are given their own TV show.

0:00:09 > 0:00:11Norman.

0:00:12 > 0:00:13Anne-Marie.

0:00:13 > 0:00:15Marie.

0:00:15 > 0:00:17Bertie.

0:00:19 > 0:00:21Carmel.

0:00:23 > 0:00:25Melvyn and Heidi.

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Radio Face is not recorded live,

0:00:30 > 0:00:33but after the programme has finished,

0:00:33 > 0:00:37these are real listeners to The Nolan Show continuing the conversation

0:00:37 > 0:00:40while I stay in the studio

0:00:40 > 0:00:42and they speak to me from their own homes and cars.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53Next up, are MLAs being unfairly clobbered

0:00:53 > 0:00:55over their pay and expenses?

0:00:55 > 0:00:59Assembly members have received a thousand-pound cut in their expenses.

0:00:59 > 0:01:03Now, that's on top of a proposed six-year pay freeze

0:01:03 > 0:01:06for Stormont politicians, so what do you think?

0:01:06 > 0:01:1048 grand, do you think that's about the right level to pay these people?

0:01:10 > 0:01:13Shove it up them, Stephen, that's what I say.

0:01:13 > 0:01:17They want to try living on my pension at £7,000 a year.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19- Morning, Andy.- Good morning, Stephen.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22I'm tired of them sitting up there scratching their backsides

0:01:22 > 0:01:24- doing nothing. - Some of them are working very hard.

0:01:24 > 0:01:26People are starving...

0:01:26 > 0:01:28when they're not even earning 10,000, Stephen.

0:01:28 > 0:01:30They're sitting, getting £48,000.

0:01:30 > 0:01:33That's obscene, the money they're getting.

0:01:33 > 0:01:36They want to get rid of the whole lot of them, sure, they're useless.

0:01:36 > 0:01:38There are a useless pack of sugars.

0:01:39 > 0:01:43Stephen, I've told you before we have politicians in Stormont -

0:01:43 > 0:01:47half of them are farmers, half of them are lawyers.

0:01:47 > 0:01:48- Hello, ladies.- Hello.- Jim Allister.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52How can that combination run an economy?

0:01:52 > 0:01:55You can't look at the whole of Stormont and say no good.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Look where we are, 20 years ago, you couldn't have walked

0:01:58 > 0:02:01- up the street without fear of a bomb going off.- Yeah.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03You don't have that fear any more.

0:02:03 > 0:02:08MLA - do you know what it stands for? Member of a Lunatic Asylum.

0:02:10 > 0:02:12What do you think of them? BERTIE LAUGHS

0:02:12 > 0:02:13What do I think of some of them?

0:02:13 > 0:02:16Some of them would make good road-sweepers.

0:02:16 > 0:02:20They're fucking doing nothing, they're doing shit-all.

0:02:20 > 0:02:22The people got them where they fucking are

0:02:22 > 0:02:25and they're still doing shit-all for their people.

0:02:25 > 0:02:27If they haven't done anything in 30 years,

0:02:27 > 0:02:29they may as well just give the job to somebody else.

0:02:29 > 0:02:33Get real. Many of them are doing their very, very best.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37Many of them are working day and night to try to change things.

0:02:37 > 0:02:39Well, who's going to do their job?

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Get some students out of the universities.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45But all those politicians that we have now

0:02:45 > 0:02:48- were students at universities.- Aye, I know, but then they've got hooked

0:02:48 > 0:02:50- on the money, you see, like Stephen. - And the next...

0:02:52 > 0:02:55I could do a better job at Stormont

0:02:55 > 0:02:56than what these politicians are doing

0:02:56 > 0:02:59because I could, with a stroke of a pen,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02I could save this country millions.

0:03:02 > 0:03:04I'd get rid of the North-South bodies,

0:03:04 > 0:03:07the Ulster Scots, the Irish language -

0:03:07 > 0:03:09money that's being wasted.

0:03:10 > 0:03:13They're throwing money about like confetti - flag protests,

0:03:13 > 0:03:17parades, policing, the whole budget's out of control.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20If I had my way, I would write Stormont out of the whole lot

0:03:20 > 0:03:23of them, so I would, and close it down.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27Ordinary working people who are out working day and night

0:03:27 > 0:03:31to try and get a living are going to have the tax credits cut,

0:03:31 > 0:03:34they're going to drive families into poverty.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Edwina Currie was on the radio saying there's nobody really poor

0:03:37 > 0:03:39and there's nobody really starving.

0:03:39 > 0:03:42Well, yeah, I had heard her morning, all right.

0:03:47 > 0:03:51- EDWINA CURRIE:- Are you telling me people in this country

0:03:51 > 0:03:54- are going hungry?- Absolutely. - Seriously?- Seriously.- Seriously?

0:03:54 > 0:03:57You don't think people are having to make a choice these days

0:03:57 > 0:03:58as to whether to eat or heat?

0:03:58 > 0:04:01- I don't think people in this country go hungry.- Yes, but...

0:04:01 > 0:04:04Are these people at the same time maybe buying the odd lottery ticket,

0:04:04 > 0:04:08do they just occasionally have a cigarette? You know, I mean,

0:04:08 > 0:04:12somewhere along the line, does food come as the first priority?

0:04:12 > 0:04:15I'd like to have some of these starving people in Britain produced.

0:04:15 > 0:04:17But I'll tell you something,

0:04:17 > 0:04:20I'd love her to live on fucking the wages that we've got.

0:04:20 > 0:04:23Sure, she made her fame with eggs, Edwina Currie,

0:04:23 > 0:04:25so I wouldn't really worry about her.

0:04:25 > 0:04:28People that has to go to foodbanks are, at the end of the day,

0:04:28 > 0:04:31- at their lowest... - At the end of their tether, like.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34Edwina Currie doesn't have to go to the foodbanks.

0:04:34 > 0:04:38Put it this way, Stephen, see if you had to go to the foodbank,

0:04:38 > 0:04:42- what way would you feel? - I'd feel awful.- Yeah.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- Well, then, there you are now. - At the end of the day,

0:04:44 > 0:04:49Edwina Currie should actually put herself in other people's situation.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51The politicians are serving themselves,

0:04:51 > 0:04:53they're not serving the people.

0:04:53 > 0:04:57There's no-one to impose a cap on the National Health Service,

0:04:57 > 0:05:01on these trusts who are lining their pockets with big wages and bonuses.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04We have doctors doing a shift

0:05:04 > 0:05:07and getting paid £2,000 and £3,000 a shift,

0:05:07 > 0:05:11we've agency nurses getting paid thousands of pounds a shift

0:05:11 > 0:05:13and that's what's wrong with the health service.

0:05:13 > 0:05:18- Go ahead, John.- I've got one question for the politicians in Stormont.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22What planet are you clowns living on, right?

0:05:22 > 0:05:25If you go into the Royal Victoria Hospital on a Saturday night,

0:05:25 > 0:05:28and God bless them doctors and those wee nurses,

0:05:28 > 0:05:32cos they are breaking their backs to provide a service to us.

0:05:32 > 0:05:35What planet are these clowns living on?

0:05:35 > 0:05:38There are people dying, people on waiting lists, 18 months waiting...

0:05:38 > 0:05:42These people are going to be dead before they even see a consultant.

0:05:42 > 0:05:45And that is not acceptable in the 21st century,

0:05:45 > 0:05:48that we have a health service that could be in the Middle Ages.

0:05:48 > 0:05:53It's not fair, it's not right, and I'm bloody fed up with it.

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Alex in Lisburn. Morning, Alex. - We're pointing the finger at MLAs,

0:05:55 > 0:05:58saying they're this or that - we vote for them.

0:05:58 > 0:06:01- See when the elections are up... - That's the only time you see them.

0:06:01 > 0:06:03That's the only time you see them at the door

0:06:03 > 0:06:04and that's only because they want the vote.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07See when they've got in, then you don't see them again.

0:06:07 > 0:06:10- You don't see them again.- See when you need them? They're not there.

0:06:10 > 0:06:15- As an Indian would say, politicians speak with a forked tongue.- Yeah.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16So they do. They don't...

0:06:16 > 0:06:20They just say what you want to hear at the time

0:06:20 > 0:06:22and then everybody rallies round them

0:06:22 > 0:06:25and then we're all sitting waiting and it doesn't happen.

0:06:25 > 0:06:29I heard a guy on Stephen Nolan one day and he was absolutely right.

0:06:29 > 0:06:34He says, "Can anybody ring in and say they have seen the MLA out

0:06:34 > 0:06:37"after seven o'clock at night, having their dinner,

0:06:37 > 0:06:39"having a bit of craic? No, you'll not."

0:06:39 > 0:06:42I am just disgusted at the political class here.

0:06:42 > 0:06:45I'm actually thinking about leaving Northern Ireland now

0:06:45 > 0:06:48because I am fed up to the back teeth of them.

0:06:48 > 0:06:49It's an old boys' club.

0:06:49 > 0:06:54I object and I will fight against these broad-brush statements

0:06:54 > 0:06:57that politicians are a waste of space, that politicians

0:06:57 > 0:07:00are an embarrassment. Do you know what? No, they are not.

0:07:00 > 0:07:04We need fresh blood of young people and if it doesn't get it,

0:07:04 > 0:07:06the country is in stagnation,

0:07:06 > 0:07:09so it is, it's like a cancer eating through it.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11It can't move on from the past.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14That's ridiculous, what they're getting paid

0:07:14 > 0:07:17and whenever you step in and step out again,

0:07:17 > 0:07:19and the wee cancer patients are dying

0:07:19 > 0:07:22and you've got your man Hamilton on -

0:07:22 > 0:07:25every time he comes on the TV, he gives me asthma,

0:07:25 > 0:07:28cos he talks that low I'm breathing for him.

0:07:28 > 0:07:31Do you understand what I'm saying?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Why do you not like Simon Hamilton from the DUP?

0:07:33 > 0:07:38Well, because whenever he comes on with this beard on him

0:07:38 > 0:07:44and these glasses and his hair all nicely combed and shirt and tie

0:07:44 > 0:07:47- and he talks that low. - He can't help it if he talks low.

0:07:47 > 0:07:49And whenever you hear that sort of criticism,

0:07:49 > 0:07:50you have to listen to that.

0:07:50 > 0:07:54He talks that low and I'm breathing for him, Stephen.

0:07:54 > 0:07:56I think you've got a problem with Simon Hamilton.

0:07:56 > 0:07:59He's a very articulate and intelligent man.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02I understand articulatism and all that there,

0:08:02 > 0:08:04but he sits in the studio and he goes...

0:08:04 > 0:08:07- AS HAMILTON:- "Eh-eh-eh-eh..."

0:08:07 > 0:08:10Let me near your impression of him again.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12- What is he sitting doing?- He goes...

0:08:12 > 0:08:19- AS HAMILTON:- "Eh-eh-eh-eh and "eh-eh-eh-eh..."

0:08:19 > 0:08:22And I'm going... I'm sitting back going,

0:08:22 > 0:08:24"Holy Jesus, would you please breathe, man?"

0:08:31 > 0:08:34It's 9am, it's The Nolan Show on BBC Radio Ulster.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37And of course the role of the programme is to give

0:08:37 > 0:08:40you at home the chance to have your say. Pick up the phone.

0:08:40 > 0:08:41Let's see who's on line one.

0:08:41 > 0:08:44Don't be having stupid ideas that they're going to come in and...

0:08:44 > 0:08:47what are they going to do, bring that right across the Province?

0:08:47 > 0:08:49You're going to have to tell me what you mean by that.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51I see what some girls do to themselves

0:08:51 > 0:08:54and I hear what some girls do to themselves

0:08:54 > 0:08:56and I don't want my daughter caught up in that.

0:08:56 > 0:08:58The list goes on and on

0:08:58 > 0:09:01and you know we would not find that acceptable.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04I was within an inch of standing up and going up and saying to her,

0:09:04 > 0:09:06"You are boring me stupid."

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Whatever you think, say it on The Nolan Show.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12Monday to Friday at nine on Radio Ulster

0:09:12 > 0:09:14or at Stephen Nolan on Twitter.

0:09:20 > 0:09:23There's two girls walking down Royal Avenue,

0:09:23 > 0:09:26one of them was wearing a burka

0:09:26 > 0:09:28and because I pointed her out to my daughter,

0:09:28 > 0:09:31the other one then gives me gestures and a dirty look.

0:09:32 > 0:09:35Well now, how dare they, in the middle of Belfast?

0:09:35 > 0:09:40If they want to uphold or they want to live in the United Kingdom,

0:09:40 > 0:09:43they have to uphold our laws, as we do.

0:09:44 > 0:09:48- What you wear, Lorraine... - So what they have to...

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Lorraine, listen. Lorraine, you've got to listen. It's not a monologue.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55What someone wears is not a law.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58We have the freedom in this society we live in

0:09:58 > 0:10:00to choose the clothes we wear.

0:10:00 > 0:10:04We're tolerant of each other's dress, are we not?

0:10:04 > 0:10:08And if someone is wearing a burka, is that really doing you any harm?

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Well, it does, it makes me suspicious.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12I agree with that woman entirely.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15I think we should go down the road of France and ban the burka,

0:10:15 > 0:10:18cos I think Northern Ireland has had enough balaclavas and masks

0:10:18 > 0:10:22- over the last 40 or 50 years.- Well, that's a different thing altogether.

0:10:22 > 0:10:24My God, are you suggesting, because you wear a burka,

0:10:24 > 0:10:26it's the same as wearing a balaclava?

0:10:26 > 0:10:28I think the problem is that we're all too quick to judge people

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- by what they wear.- That's too extreme, Heidi, that's too extreme.

0:10:31 > 0:10:36- You've just connected the two. - No, I just said it was a comparison.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39Your item of... Your comparison was very contentious.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42At the end of the day, it's up to themselves.

0:10:42 > 0:10:44Here, there's some people walking about this place

0:10:44 > 0:10:47- that would need face veils. - They would need face veils.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50Never mind the burka, never mind for their religion.

0:10:50 > 0:10:53At the end of the day, it's their religion.

0:10:53 > 0:10:55If somebody's walking through... naked

0:10:55 > 0:10:56through the streets of Belfast,

0:10:56 > 0:10:58they're causing an offence.

0:10:58 > 0:10:59If you're wearing something,

0:10:59 > 0:11:00no matter what it is,

0:11:00 > 0:11:02that's not an offence, what's the problem?

0:11:02 > 0:11:05- That's right.- How can they see where they're going, sure?

0:11:05 > 0:11:06Some of them's got a wee slit along here

0:11:06 > 0:11:10and they're looking through it like this here, for goodness' sake.

0:11:12 > 0:11:17A full veil, no, you should be able to see who's behind a veil.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21I've no problem with them covering their head,

0:11:21 > 0:11:25but if you go into a doctor's surgery or go into a bank

0:11:25 > 0:11:28or in the court, let them know who they're talking to, so they need

0:11:28 > 0:11:30to see their full face

0:11:30 > 0:11:33to see if it's a man or see if it's a woman.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36I don't like them at all. They shouldn't be allowed to wear them.

0:11:38 > 0:11:42In that culture, a woman shouldn't be seen in public,

0:11:42 > 0:11:44do you not think that's really dated?

0:11:44 > 0:11:47- But that's their culture... - That's their culture.

0:11:47 > 0:11:49So it's different culture, different...

0:11:49 > 0:11:51Different countries, different cultures, huh, Marie?

0:11:51 > 0:11:55- Is that what you were trying to say? - Yes.- Get it right, for fuck's sake.

0:11:55 > 0:11:58It's not against the law to wear a burka.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01At the end of the day, she is in the United Kingdom,

0:12:01 > 0:12:03most likely claiming benefits,

0:12:03 > 0:12:06like lots of people who are entitled to claim benefits.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09Most likely claiming benefits because of her dress.

0:12:09 > 0:12:12You know, the reason why I think it's really important to have

0:12:12 > 0:12:17a caller like you on air - it exposes the prejudice.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21- It exposes...- I'm not ashamed to say that I am against Muslims.

0:12:21 > 0:12:24We don't need the burkas here at all, we really don't.

0:12:24 > 0:12:26Why would that... does it offend you?

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Well, I don't like it. I just don't. It's not our national...

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Is it because it scares you or because it offends you?

0:12:31 > 0:12:34It offends me, it's not our national dress.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37- You don't have a national dress in Northern Ireland.- Oh, we do, yes.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39What's our national dress?

0:12:39 > 0:12:42A wee skirt or trousers and a green blouse or...

0:12:42 > 0:12:44I'm not wearing skirts or blouses.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48You know what you have to do, honestly, all of us?

0:12:48 > 0:12:50Like, I'm 59, I know you're a bit more senior than I am...

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Have you a skirt?- She'd make sure you did, Robert.- If I wore...

0:12:53 > 0:12:56Here, see, to be honest with you, if I wore a skirt, to be honest

0:12:56 > 0:13:00with you, it would be my business, it would be none of yours, you know.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03And hopefully covering your business!

0:13:03 > 0:13:05THEY ALL LAUGH

0:13:05 > 0:13:07You know what I think? You pulled.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12With being blind, I don't know what they're wearing.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15A woman could be wearing a miniskirt

0:13:15 > 0:13:17or she could be wearing something down to her ankles

0:13:17 > 0:13:21or a turban on her head or anything, I don't know, nor I don't care,

0:13:21 > 0:13:23as long as they're nice and decent and good people

0:13:23 > 0:13:25and friendly towards me.

0:13:25 > 0:13:27If you walk into the doctor and your doctor was sitting there

0:13:27 > 0:13:30with a full face veil on, would you be happy with that?

0:13:30 > 0:13:34- Well, at the end of the day...- Men don't really sit with a full face

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- and if it was a woman doctor... - If it was a woman, it's different.

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- You would trust her, like. - At the end of the day,

0:13:40 > 0:13:42you would know, you would get to know her.

0:13:42 > 0:13:45If she's a new doctor, you would get to know her.

0:13:45 > 0:13:47At the end of the day...

0:13:47 > 0:13:51Well, put it this way, does anybody tell you what you're allowed to wear

0:13:51 > 0:13:53and what you're not allowed to wear?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Put it this way, they save a fortune in make-up

0:13:56 > 0:14:00and they're bound to have lovely skins cos they're not abusing it

0:14:00 > 0:14:03the way the white people abuse their skins.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05All sorts of people wear different types of clothing

0:14:05 > 0:14:10to demonstrate or show the culture, their religious beliefs.

0:14:10 > 0:14:13Look at a minister wearing a dog collar. Does that offend you?

0:14:13 > 0:14:15Because they're putting it out there

0:14:15 > 0:14:16that they're a Christian minister

0:14:16 > 0:14:19or somebody wearing, well, any other type of attire.

0:14:19 > 0:14:22- It certainly does not offend me in any way at all.- So that's all right?

0:14:22 > 0:14:25Because I can see the minister, I can see the minister,

0:14:25 > 0:14:29I can see his face, I can hear him talking, I can see him talking.

0:14:29 > 0:14:33You cannot define what the minister wears in comparison to a burka.

0:14:33 > 0:14:36I personally, as a woman, have an issue with a burka

0:14:36 > 0:14:38- because if it in any way... - Well, then...

0:14:38 > 0:14:41..if it in any way represses the woman who's wearing it

0:14:41 > 0:14:46and actually she doesn't want to be covered up in that way,

0:14:46 > 0:14:49then I am totally for her being able to remove her burka.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51At the end of the day...

0:14:51 > 0:14:53They'll probably take offence at what you're wearing...

0:14:53 > 0:14:56I don't like to look at...

0:14:56 > 0:15:02to be in the presence of someone, a woman, who is wearing a burka.

0:15:02 > 0:15:04- There's a human being... - And that is my choice.

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- I don't like it.- There is a human being underneath that burka.

0:15:07 > 0:15:09And as far as I'm concerned, France is right. They banned it

0:15:09 > 0:15:12and it will stay banned. It should be banned in the United Kingdom.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14We were talking to a man

0:15:14 > 0:15:17- who said he just wouldn't trust a woman with a burka.- Why?

0:15:18 > 0:15:21Because he can't see her face. He wants to see her face.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22Well, it's like the old saying,

0:15:22 > 0:15:25you don't look at the clock when you're poking the fire.

0:15:32 > 0:15:36Radio Face, where the stars of the Nolan radio programme

0:15:36 > 0:15:39get their own TV show.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45RADIO STATIC

0:15:45 > 0:15:49The BBC has slashed its top stars' pay

0:15:49 > 0:15:52by more than £6 million last year,

0:15:52 > 0:15:54so presenters have been given pay cuts.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56The Beeb has been heavily criticised,

0:15:56 > 0:15:59of course, for the amount it pays its presenters.

0:15:59 > 0:16:02One of the very vocal voices on this here in Northern Ireland

0:16:02 > 0:16:05has been the DUP MP Gregory Campbell.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07- Good morning, Mr Campbell. - Good morning, Stephen.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10When you have been tested on this by me in the past,

0:16:10 > 0:16:13in that what do you think presenters are worth, you can't tell me.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16When I say to you, "What am I worth?" you can't tell me.

0:16:16 > 0:16:19People have a right to know what your income is

0:16:19 > 0:16:23when you know everybody, you talk about everybody else's income,

0:16:23 > 0:16:26but why can you not declare yours?

0:16:26 > 0:16:27Are you Gregory Campbell's brother?

0:16:27 > 0:16:30No, I'm not related to Gregory Campbell in any shape or form,

0:16:30 > 0:16:32no, no, I am not.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35'You see me on the TV and radio, I know you listen every day,

0:16:35 > 0:16:37'you can't miss it. What am I worth?'

0:16:37 > 0:16:38This...

0:16:38 > 0:16:39CHEERING

0:16:39 > 0:16:42OK... Let's try some sit-ups.

0:16:42 > 0:16:45Nolan Live, I don't really know, I've never really watched it.

0:16:45 > 0:16:48- I have.- Well, I think I did a couple of times.- I have.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52And what do you call it? It's really not up to much, the show isn't.

0:16:52 > 0:16:55- Yeah? Have you watched the show? - When's the last time you watched it?

0:16:55 > 0:16:57- Last week.- And what was on?

0:16:57 > 0:16:59Uh...

0:16:59 > 0:17:02- Can't think.- You're not watching my programme every week?

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Well, if you've anything exciting on it, yes, we'll watch it,

0:17:05 > 0:17:07and if you've nothing exciting,

0:17:07 > 0:17:09what's the fucking point of watching it?

0:17:09 > 0:17:10It's exciting every week!

0:17:10 > 0:17:14Let's see what it is you actually do. Let's see what the hours are.

0:17:14 > 0:17:16Let's see what the endeavour is.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18Then you can begin to put a value on it.

0:17:18 > 0:17:20What have you got to hide, Nolan?

0:17:20 > 0:17:23Come on, come out with it. What have you got to hide?

0:17:23 > 0:17:26Look at Fantasy Island, I couldn't afford a house like that,

0:17:26 > 0:17:29so I couldn't. Then Vinny down cleaning it and all for you!

0:17:31 > 0:17:35You're hitting a million at least, maybe more.

0:17:35 > 0:17:38And look what Vinny has to stick from you, Stephen.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40You give him a hard time, the fella.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44No wonder he's distraught and doesn't come in some days.

0:17:45 > 0:17:47You give him a hard time that much.

0:17:47 > 0:17:50If you were to go out to an independent broadcaster,

0:17:50 > 0:17:54an organisation, they would probably pay you more money than the BBC

0:17:54 > 0:17:56because let's just say,

0:17:56 > 0:17:59as the advert for the shampoo goes, you're worth it.

0:17:59 > 0:18:01But your colleagues underneath you,

0:18:01 > 0:18:05I would say 90% of them wouldn't get a job brushing the streets because

0:18:05 > 0:18:08some of the programmes, some of the presenters are horrendously bad.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Well, that's Vinny, clearly, you're talking about.

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Who decides, who employs these people?

0:18:13 > 0:18:15How much do you think he should get?

0:18:15 > 0:18:19Well, I don't think, I think he's entitled to get about...

0:18:19 > 0:18:21about £500 a week.

0:18:23 > 0:18:24He'd love you for that!

0:18:26 > 0:18:30- I think he's on about £500 a minute. - Well, he'd better not be.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33That's other people's taxes. That's who's...

0:18:33 > 0:18:35What? What?!

0:18:35 > 0:18:39Come on, let it out. What's the secret?

0:18:39 > 0:18:43- My salary is none of your business! - Well, then, why is it not?

0:18:43 > 0:18:45Sure, if we're paying your salary,

0:18:45 > 0:18:48it's bound to be a business if we're paying TV licence.

0:18:48 > 0:18:51You are our business, we own you.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Why won't you tell us, Nolan?

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Why are you not telling us what you fucking earn?

0:18:55 > 0:18:57How much do you think I'm on?

0:18:57 > 0:19:01I would say, roughly, about a million.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04I know what you're getting, you're getting a million pound at least,

0:19:04 > 0:19:06that's why you're a millionaire now.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10- Morning, Mr Nolan, how are you, sir? - Go ahead, Jim.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13Not often I agree with Gregory Campbell but I have to say

0:19:13 > 0:19:15I fully agree with him this morning.

0:19:15 > 0:19:17Your production team, they always talk about,

0:19:17 > 0:19:20"Oh, Stephen bought us Chinese," or, "Stephen bought us buns."

0:19:20 > 0:19:23Who's paying for the buns and the Chinese? Is it yourself

0:19:23 > 0:19:26or does it come out of the expenses, the taxpayers' money?

0:19:26 > 0:19:28I don't think I've ever bought this team buns.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Let me assure you this, I do not go up to the Chinese,

0:19:31 > 0:19:34buy chicken, chips, peas and gravy, and then bill them back to you.

0:19:34 > 0:19:35No, I do not.

0:19:35 > 0:19:39If you're not going to give me what your price is

0:19:39 > 0:19:42on your wages, why should I give you my fucking TV licence?

0:19:42 > 0:19:45And here, do you pay a TV licence yourself

0:19:45 > 0:19:48or do you get a freebie because you work for them?

0:19:48 > 0:19:52You probably get... He probably gets a freebie because he works for them.

0:19:52 > 0:19:54Bet you get a fucking freebie.

0:20:01 > 0:20:08One presenter, one team, and you make incredible radio.

0:20:08 > 0:20:11When you send your stories to this team,

0:20:11 > 0:20:14they will fight for you every step of the way.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24RADIO STATIC

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Now, horrific pictures in the Daily Mirror yesterday

0:20:29 > 0:20:32of the controversial Yulin dog meat festival.

0:20:32 > 0:20:38Every year, they think, around 10,000 dogs are cooked and eaten

0:20:38 > 0:20:43in the South China province. This year the reaction has gone global.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Almost a quarter of a million tweets have been posted

0:20:46 > 0:20:50using the hashtag #stopyulin2015.

0:20:50 > 0:20:52What's wrong with eating dog, Dave?

0:20:53 > 0:20:56What, what's wrong, what's wrong with eating a pig?

0:20:56 > 0:20:59What is wrong with eating furry bunnies?

0:20:59 > 0:21:02What's wrong with eating cows and horses?

0:21:02 > 0:21:06- What did he say there? - Furry bunnies!- Did he say...

0:21:06 > 0:21:08- HE LAUGHS - Don't. Do not.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10Oh, the dog-eating festival in China.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12Terrible, them poor dog owners.

0:21:12 > 0:21:16- But then that's the Chinese culture. - Oh, God, I'm going to be sick.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18- No, don't like it, don't agree with it.- No.

0:21:18 > 0:21:20I have three shih tzus

0:21:20 > 0:21:23and looking at my wee three shih tzus, I don't think

0:21:23 > 0:21:28I could kill them, looking at their wee faces, and try and eat them.

0:21:28 > 0:21:32Please, no. They shouldn't be doing that.

0:21:32 > 0:21:34Oh, imagine me eating my Teddy.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37Couldn't do it, Stephen, couldn't do it.

0:21:37 > 0:21:41A dog is a wild animal. It's just that we've made them into pets

0:21:41 > 0:21:44but they're still a wild animal, the same as a pig or a cow.

0:21:44 > 0:21:47I would only call people that would eat animal, dogs and the like

0:21:47 > 0:21:50of that, I'd call them cannibals, whether they would like it or not.

0:21:50 > 0:21:54"What are we going to have tonight? What about a greyhound and chips?"

0:21:54 > 0:21:58- Right?- If you can catch it. First catch your greyhound.

0:21:58 > 0:22:00"And a couple of mushrooms."

0:22:00 > 0:22:02That would put you off your lunch, wouldn't it?

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Would you eat dog, yourself?

0:22:04 > 0:22:07No, I wouldn't eat dog but if you look at France,

0:22:07 > 0:22:09they're eating frogs and snails

0:22:09 > 0:22:12and other countries eat rats, so they do.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14What do you call your dog?

0:22:14 > 0:22:17- Holly.- Holly? So would you eat Holly?

0:22:17 > 0:22:21No, I wouldn't eat Holly unless it was desperate.

0:22:21 > 0:22:25But if I died and there was nobody in this house,

0:22:25 > 0:22:27Holly would eat me to survive, so she would.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30- David?- There's everything wrong with eating dogs.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32- DOG WHINES - It's barbaric, for starters.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34They're companion animals.

0:22:34 > 0:22:38A dog is part of the family.

0:22:38 > 0:22:41We're not going to chop our children up and eat them.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44A dog isn't getting reared for meat, for food,

0:22:44 > 0:22:48and as Anne-Marie says, we're hardly going to rear our children

0:22:48 > 0:22:51- and chop them up. That's like saying that.- Aye.

0:22:51 > 0:22:56We're rearing our children, we'll chop them up for food. Cannibal.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59- That's what that is, that's cannibal.- The nearest thing to it.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02But there's no difference between eating a dog and eating a cow.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04- There is!- Well, there is. - There is because...

0:23:04 > 0:23:05If we were to eat my dogs,

0:23:05 > 0:23:08we would starve because they're two wee small things.

0:23:08 > 0:23:11- Your dogs are all skin and bone.- Aye.

0:23:11 > 0:23:13Dogs are brought into families as pets,

0:23:13 > 0:23:16then they become family members.

0:23:16 > 0:23:20Would you go and eat one of your family members?

0:23:21 > 0:23:24- No.- No, well, there you are. - Here's a question.

0:23:24 > 0:23:27If you had kids and bought your child a rabbit

0:23:27 > 0:23:29and you felt hungry, would you say,

0:23:29 > 0:23:33"Give us your rabbit till I boil it here," and make a stew with it?

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Ciaran in the valley. Morning, Ciaran.

0:23:37 > 0:23:42Morning, Stephen. I want to ask number eight there, XPEV,

0:23:42 > 0:23:45there was a plane crash in Canada

0:23:45 > 0:23:50and there were two survivors and they ate the rest of the bodies.

0:23:50 > 0:23:55I wonder if they would eat a human being that was dead, to survive.

0:23:56 > 0:24:00It's a completely off skew question, isn't it?

0:24:00 > 0:24:04Stephen, if you're desperate enough,

0:24:04 > 0:24:08you will need anything, even your best friend that's beside you.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11You would eat his flesh to stay alive, so you would.

0:24:11 > 0:24:14You'd drink your own urine to stay alive.

0:24:14 > 0:24:17SHE LAUGHS What bit would you eat first?

0:24:17 > 0:24:18I'd go for the arm.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21It might be the tastiest bit, so it might.

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Just the same as they did in the Andes. That's how they stayed alive.

0:24:25 > 0:24:29They ate all the dead bodies, so they did, and survived.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33Some eating on you, Stephen, with all them burgers and chicken pies.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36I'd survive all right, so I would.

0:24:36 > 0:24:38LAUGHTER

0:24:40 > 0:24:44Would you eat a dog in the woods if you were in the middle of a forest

0:24:44 > 0:24:46and there was nowhere to be got?

0:24:46 > 0:24:48What is your obsession with this?

0:24:48 > 0:24:50I was just wondering to ask them a question, Stephen.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Come on there.

0:24:53 > 0:24:57- They'll eat horse.- What? - We eat horse.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59- HORSE WHINNIES - I've eaten horse in Paris.

0:24:59 > 0:25:03I've eaten horse on more than one occasion. Utterly fantastic.

0:25:03 > 0:25:10We eat rabbits, we eat chickens, hens, you name it.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12So what's the difference between a dog or a cat?

0:25:12 > 0:25:16- DOG YELPS - Oh, shush.

0:25:16 > 0:25:18Many people listening to this programme will have dogs

0:25:18 > 0:25:22in their houses, they'll have much-loved family pets.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24I would say there's plenty of husbands

0:25:24 > 0:25:26would kill their wives' dogs, David, now don't be smart.

0:25:26 > 0:25:30But I would say to you, David, you could bet a horse.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33- Could you not? - I'm not sure where you're going.

0:25:33 > 0:25:36Well, you could bet a horse and you can eat it.

0:25:36 > 0:25:38- You could what a horse? - Well, they do so in France.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42SHE GROWLS AND BARKS

0:25:47 > 0:25:50Holly, you know what, you're lucky you're not living in China

0:25:50 > 0:25:53because they would eat you, so they would.

0:25:53 > 0:25:56You're lucky you're living here. You don't get eaten.

0:25:56 > 0:25:58But you never know, some day I might.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00HOLLY BARKS

0:26:00 > 0:26:03If you don't stop your barking, I'll eat you.

0:26:08 > 0:26:12- I'll fatten you up for China. - HE LAUGHS

0:26:12 > 0:26:13For a chicken curry.

0:26:18 > 0:26:22I'll give you to Nolan. You'd make a right curry for him, so you would.

0:26:22 > 0:26:25Put a few pounds on him, so you would.

0:26:25 > 0:26:27You don't like that, sure you don't.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32I'm not a big meat-eater, to be honest with you.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34- Neither am I. - I'm not a vegetarian, but...

0:26:34 > 0:26:37I know there's countries where eating a monkey's brain

0:26:37 > 0:26:39- is a delicacy.- Oh, my God.

0:26:39 > 0:26:43Personally, I wouldn't be up for that.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45But if somebody said to you, "Look, Robert, you're going to die

0:26:45 > 0:26:49"tomorrow if you don't eat this bit of dog," would you eat the dog?

0:26:49 > 0:26:52Well, you see, if you're going to go down the line of...

0:26:52 > 0:26:56We're professed to be the most superior animal on Earth.

0:26:56 > 0:27:01We're professed to be the most superior animal on Earth, OK?

0:27:01 > 0:27:04The human species are the most superior animal.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06If it's a point of survival,

0:27:06 > 0:27:09there's a strong possibility I would do that, yeah.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12But what if the dog was Guinness, your wee dog, Guinness?

0:27:12 > 0:27:14Aye, you might find it's a bit strange.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17Me, personally, I might put my life in front of the dog.

0:27:19 > 0:27:24So you wouldn't eat Guinness? I tell you, I'd take lumps out of Guinness!

0:27:24 > 0:27:27- What's that?- I'd have Guinness served up on toast.

0:27:27 > 0:27:29I know we're talking hypothetically here

0:27:29 > 0:27:33but I personally would probably put the dog before me.

0:27:36 > 0:27:40Bertie, I hear you keep your dog's ashes, Ebony's ashes,

0:27:40 > 0:27:42on your mantelpiece.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45I was thinking of my wee dog, Ebony.

0:27:45 > 0:27:48If anybody was to eat her, I don't know,

0:27:48 > 0:27:51I think it would be putting the finishing touches to me, so it would.

0:27:54 > 0:27:58If someone came along and just said, "Right, we're taking this,"

0:27:58 > 0:28:01and they cut her up and ate her...

0:28:01 > 0:28:04No, no. If they'd have done that, I would have said,

0:28:04 > 0:28:08"Right, if you're going to do that to my nearest, dearest pet,

0:28:08 > 0:28:10"you can do the same with me,"

0:28:10 > 0:28:14because it would have been totally outrageous, so it would.

0:28:18 > 0:28:20Next time on Radio Face...

0:28:20 > 0:28:23You've got a personal registration number, what is it?

0:28:23 > 0:28:27- DICK.- Old-age pensioners are one of the safest drivers on the roads.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29Aye, so long as they can see.

0:28:29 > 0:28:32Stephen, do you realise how fat you are?

0:28:32 > 0:28:35You're too ugly and too much out of shape for a convertible.

0:28:35 > 0:28:40As you get older, there is a smell, but you get it and clean yourself.

0:28:40 > 0:28:44If people want to go to a child-free restaurant, let them go.

0:28:44 > 0:28:46- BOTH:- It's up to the individual.

0:28:46 > 0:28:48THEY LAUGH

0:28:48 > 0:28:49High-five!