Episode 2

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0:01:44 > 0:01:48Hello, you are more than welcome to The Arts Show.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52We are lean, mean and pack a punch like the Pocket Rocket.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55Let's go toe-to-toe for the next 30 minutes.

0:01:56 > 0:02:00From the Starship Enterprise to Stormont, Colm Meaney

0:02:00 > 0:02:03boldly goes in a buddy movie we thought we'd never see.

0:02:03 > 0:02:07Ulster says, "Yes, yes, yes," as Tim McGarry cracks his whip

0:02:07 > 0:02:11to find out why we can't get enough of erotic fiction here.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13The BBC Two Minute Masterpieces,

0:02:13 > 0:02:17art films by emerging female film-makers, are ready to roll.

0:02:17 > 0:02:20We're watching the detectives with crime writer Ian Rankin on

0:02:20 > 0:02:22the art that first blew his mind.

0:02:22 > 0:02:25Our Street Corner Poet this month is Gerald Dawe.

0:02:25 > 0:02:28And there's brand-new music from Saint Sister.

0:02:28 > 0:02:29We're on Twitter now.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34Now, let's talk about sex.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36That got you listening, didn't it?

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Although, it's not just about listening.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40It's about reading it and writing it.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Erotic fiction is big business,

0:02:42 > 0:02:45and if you peek behind the lace curtains here in Northern Ireland,

0:02:45 > 0:02:49it seems that we just cannot get enough of it.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52Who could we ask to delve undercover?

0:02:52 > 0:02:54# Sex

0:02:56 > 0:02:58# Sex. #

0:02:58 > 0:03:01In a desperate bid to improve ratings,

0:03:01 > 0:03:05The Arts Show has decided, finally, to talk about sex.

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Specifically, erotic fiction.

0:03:07 > 0:03:10Christian is standing over me,

0:03:10 > 0:03:13grasping a plaited leather riding crop.

0:03:13 > 0:03:15And who better to host a feature on erotica

0:03:15 > 0:03:18than an international sex symbol

0:03:18 > 0:03:22who drives men and woman mad with desire?

0:03:22 > 0:03:25You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28Now, unfortunately, Jamie Dorman was unavailable,

0:03:28 > 0:03:29so I got the call.

0:03:29 > 0:03:33But because it's The Art Show on BBC Northern Ireland,

0:03:33 > 0:03:35not some smutty Channel 5 show,

0:03:35 > 0:03:40we will not be indulging in double entendres or schoolboy smut.

0:03:40 > 0:03:43No, we are going to take this subject seriously.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46So, Art Show, let's talk about...

0:03:46 > 0:03:48sex.

0:03:48 > 0:03:49HE LAUGHS

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Honestly, I don't think I'm right for this.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53All right, all right!

0:03:57 > 0:04:00The most successful writer of erotic fiction of them all is,

0:04:00 > 0:04:04of course, Erika Leonard James, whose Fifty Shades trilogy

0:04:04 > 0:04:09has already sold over 125 million copies worldwide.

0:04:09 > 0:04:13EL James is actually married to a man from Northern Ireland, from Newry.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr Grey,

0:04:16 > 0:04:19the billionaire with his helicopter and his red room of pain,

0:04:19 > 0:04:23is possibly based on a fellow from Newry.

0:04:23 > 0:04:26I tell you what, that woman deserves every single penny she gets

0:04:26 > 0:04:28because I've been to Newry.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31She must have the best imagination in the world.

0:04:34 > 0:04:35WOMAN GASPS

0:04:35 > 0:04:37SAXOPHONE MUSIC

0:04:37 > 0:04:41One local woman is hoping to emulate the success of EL James.

0:04:41 > 0:04:45And while erotic literature has a long and, indeed, noble tradition

0:04:45 > 0:04:47going back through Greek and Roman poetry,

0:04:47 > 0:04:49right through Shakespeare's sonnets

0:04:49 > 0:04:53to Molly Bloom's soliloquy and DH Lawrence,

0:04:53 > 0:04:56this local author feels that Northern Ireland isn't ready

0:04:56 > 0:04:58for what she has to say.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00By the way, this is a bar in Belfast, this isn't her house.

0:05:02 > 0:05:05I set out to shock by writing a filthier version of

0:05:05 > 0:05:07what I thought was erotic fiction.

0:05:07 > 0:05:08Leonora Morrison is not your real name,

0:05:08 > 0:05:11you're wearing a wig, we're filming you out of focus,

0:05:11 > 0:05:12we are going to disguise your voice.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15I feel like I'm interviewing a terrorist from the 1980s,

0:05:15 > 0:05:17rather than somebody who's just written a book.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Nobody in my family knows that I write.

0:05:18 > 0:05:21None of my friends know that I write books,

0:05:21 > 0:05:23and especially erotic fiction.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25I think that if they knew that,

0:05:25 > 0:05:28they would be completely shocked and maybe disgusted.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31My family are very religious and I was always brought up in the church.

0:05:31 > 0:05:35And it's not something they would be proud of, especially.

0:05:35 > 0:05:37But surely, we've moved on? It's 2017.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41Well, a lot of people from here who have been religious have read EL James,

0:05:41 > 0:05:42and they haven't liked it.

0:05:42 > 0:05:47I think it was quite tame, and my book is a lot worse, content-wise.

0:05:47 > 0:05:50You say worse, you mean better-worse or worse-worse?

0:05:50 > 0:05:51Filthy.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- Filthy? It's pure filth?- Yes.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Mine is self published, as well, and I think it's been harder

0:05:56 > 0:06:00because this is Northern Ireland and putting it out in the public forum,

0:06:00 > 0:06:03with newspapers, etc, has been quite tricky.

0:06:03 > 0:06:05How did you get started?

0:06:05 > 0:06:08I had gone on online dating sites and discovered that on some

0:06:08 > 0:06:12of the sites, you could write short stories in the form of blogs.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15And reading through some of them, I thought, "Well, I can do that.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17"Maybe do it better."

0:06:17 > 0:06:20And I started writing different versions of stories based on

0:06:20 > 0:06:23an online character called Ginger.

0:06:23 > 0:06:25And from the feedback that I got,

0:06:25 > 0:06:28I was encouraged to put it into a book.

0:06:28 > 0:06:30# Erotic, erotic... #

0:06:30 > 0:06:34Erotic fiction is the name given to fiction that deals with sex and

0:06:34 > 0:06:38sexual themes in a more serious or literary way than, say, pornography.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42I think erotica, when it's good,

0:06:42 > 0:06:44stimulates the imagination.

0:06:44 > 0:06:47And there's absolutely no point, I think,

0:06:47 > 0:06:50in going to the bedroom and leaving your imagination behind.

0:06:50 > 0:06:51We should be able to fantasise,

0:06:51 > 0:06:55we should be able to kind of think up gorgeous scenarios.

0:06:55 > 0:06:58How else will you keep things beautiful and fresh in a long-term

0:06:58 > 0:07:02relationship unless you can bring sort of vivid fantasy with you?

0:07:02 > 0:07:05And that's why erotica is important.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08It sort of stimulates every bit of us

0:07:08 > 0:07:10and it makes us feel sort of alive.

0:07:11 > 0:07:15I think the audience for erotic fiction is varied,

0:07:15 > 0:07:20but there's no doubt that woman are the main component.

0:07:20 > 0:07:22I couldn't tell you exactly the figure,

0:07:22 > 0:07:26but women buy it in greater numbers than men.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30And I think that's also because women aren't really used to

0:07:30 > 0:07:32having permission to be turned on by something visual,

0:07:32 > 0:07:36but they are allowed to be turned on by the written word and they

0:07:36 > 0:07:39are very kind of at ease going into their imagination and sort of

0:07:39 > 0:07:42living in their head with fantasy figures.

0:07:42 > 0:07:46And so, you know, it's a kind of guilty pleasure, I think.

0:07:46 > 0:07:49Or maybe a guilt-free pleasure, in my case.

0:07:49 > 0:07:50When I started doing The Amorist,

0:07:50 > 0:07:53I suppose I saw an audience that was rather like me.

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Middle-aged women who want to talk about sex

0:07:56 > 0:07:59and feel empowered to do so.

0:07:59 > 0:08:02You know, you've arrived at a stage in your life where you feel that

0:08:02 > 0:08:05you can ask for a bit more, or can explore things.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07And I just sensed that audience was there.

0:08:07 > 0:08:11I think EL James and the readership for Fifty Shades had sort of

0:08:11 > 0:08:14opened a door, and people were rushing through.

0:08:14 > 0:08:18I would never have been able to get The Amorist onto the middle shelf

0:08:18 > 0:08:22of a newsagent, even, I'd say, ten years ago.

0:08:24 > 0:08:27Erotic fiction is now mainstream.

0:08:27 > 0:08:29Romance is dead. Sex rules.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33It's no longer taboo to read about it or even to write it.

0:08:33 > 0:08:34in fact, it's cool.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37In fact, it's so cool, even Malachi O'Doherty does it.

0:08:38 > 0:08:40Wait a minute. Malachi O'Doherty?

0:08:40 > 0:08:44Political commentator, journalist, Nolan Show, blah, blah, blah,

0:08:44 > 0:08:46he does erotica?

0:08:47 > 0:08:50Malachi, be honest. Are you a smut merchant?

0:08:50 > 0:08:51Is that true?

0:08:51 > 0:08:53Well, yeah, that's...

0:08:53 > 0:08:55That's not the word I would have chosen myself,

0:08:55 > 0:08:59but I write... I'm a contributing editor to the Erotic Review

0:08:59 > 0:09:02and I write short stories with erotic content in them.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05Is it unusual for somebody to admit that in Northern Ireland?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Well, it probably is.

0:09:07 > 0:09:09And sometimes, I wish I hadn't.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12There's something about the fact that you would have detailed

0:09:12 > 0:09:15the sexual interaction between people in a story

0:09:15 > 0:09:17in lavish language and colourful language,

0:09:17 > 0:09:20there's something about that which makes people kind of step back

0:09:20 > 0:09:23and think, "Uh-oh, don't really want to talk to Malachi about that.

0:09:23 > 0:09:25"Don't really want to think about Malachi in that way."

0:09:25 > 0:09:29Where is the difference between good sex and bad sex in literature?

0:09:29 > 0:09:34It seems to be that the bad sex is when you go to the nth degree

0:09:34 > 0:09:37of mechanical explicitness.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39It's bad sex when it's irrelevant, actually,

0:09:39 > 0:09:42to the progression of the story. You know.

0:09:42 > 0:09:45A story like Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach

0:09:45 > 0:09:47is about a sexual event that went wrong,

0:09:47 > 0:09:51so you can't leave the penis out of that story.

0:09:51 > 0:09:55But if the penis has no place in that story and you put it in anyway,

0:09:55 > 0:09:57that's bad sex. Because, you know...

0:09:57 > 0:09:59So the thing has to move with the story.

0:09:59 > 0:10:01Has to be integral to the story.

0:10:02 > 0:10:06Woody Allen said that sex was the most fun you can have without laughing.

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Now, when I do stand-up, I don't do jokes about sex because

0:10:09 > 0:10:12you know what they say - write about what you know.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15I mean, I'm not a prude, I just think that what a man and woman

0:10:15 > 0:10:20get up to in the privacy of their own...dungeon should stay there.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24I mean, I'm glad that we live in a more tolerant and open society

0:10:24 > 0:10:26and I'm not jealous

0:10:26 > 0:10:30that someone can make millions of pounds just by writing about sex,

0:10:30 > 0:10:35but at heart I'm an old romantic, so I'm going to go home right now

0:10:35 > 0:10:38and tell my wife to get up them stairs...

0:10:38 > 0:10:40and start writing.

0:10:44 > 0:10:45Might need these.

0:10:51 > 0:10:53The creator or Rebus, Ian Rankin,

0:10:53 > 0:10:56is no stranger to our shores as our passion for crime fiction

0:10:56 > 0:11:00continues to grow, and with that in mind, we can reveal here that

0:11:00 > 0:11:04Belfast is getting a brand-new international crime fiction festival

0:11:04 > 0:11:07in the autumn, Noireland, and what better time to ask the king

0:11:07 > 0:11:11of tarte noir himself about the art that first blew his mind.

0:11:17 > 0:11:19Um, first film that had an impression

0:11:19 > 0:11:22on me was probably Where Eagles Dare, which was a rip-roaring

0:11:22 > 0:11:26boys' own adventure film from the 1960s, probably.

0:11:27 > 0:11:31Believe me, it's well-made, cos only an eagle can get to it.

0:11:33 > 0:11:36Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood, um...based on a novel -

0:11:36 > 0:11:39thriller by a Scottish author called Alistair MacLean.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43My dad and I were both big fans, and it's basically just, you know,

0:11:43 > 0:11:48Nazis being shot and killed by Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton

0:11:48 > 0:11:50in a big castle on top of a mountain,

0:11:50 > 0:11:52then at the end there's an extraordinarily exciting scene

0:11:52 > 0:11:55where they have to escape in a cable car and have wrestling matches

0:11:55 > 0:11:58on top of a cable car. Absolutely brilliant visceral stuff.

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Scared the hell out of me when I was a kid. Loved it.

0:12:03 > 0:12:06At high school, um...

0:12:06 > 0:12:09I wasn't old enough to get to the cinema to see X-certificate films,

0:12:09 > 0:12:11but nobody would stop me reading the books.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13My friend lent me his brother's copy

0:12:13 > 0:12:15of A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess,

0:12:15 > 0:12:18which by that time had been withdrawn from cinemas,

0:12:18 > 0:12:20and I read it and I just was blown away by it.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22I thought what an extraordinary book. It was about these boot boys,

0:12:22 > 0:12:25these bovver boys - there was a lot of them around when I was growing up

0:12:25 > 0:12:27in the early '70s, with, kind of,

0:12:27 > 0:12:30skinheads and Doc Marten boots and all the rest of it.

0:12:30 > 0:12:32But it was beautifully written.

0:12:32 > 0:12:35It was elegantly written and it was very imaginatively written,

0:12:35 > 0:12:38and I thought, "This is it. This is the kind of stuff I want to do."

0:12:38 > 0:12:42I never gave it back. I've still got it on my shelf and it's got my mate's big brother's name inside it

0:12:42 > 0:12:46and one of these days, he's going to say, "Where is it?" I've got it.

0:12:49 > 0:12:52One of the first records I bought, a single, I bought it when I was

0:12:52 > 0:12:55a wee kid, I bought it at Butlins holiday camp in Aire one summer,

0:12:55 > 0:12:56and it was Silver Machine by Hawkwind,

0:12:56 > 0:13:00which didn't quite get to number one in the charts. I think it got to number two or three.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03It had synthesisers and all kinds of whooshing noises and then

0:13:03 > 0:13:05this big pounding bass, Lemmy playing bass, Lemmy singing,

0:13:05 > 0:13:10and growing up in a wee coal-mining village in central Scotland,

0:13:10 > 0:13:14to me it was like a sound I'd never heard before.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17SONG PLAYS

0:13:20 > 0:13:23And I still play that record, and I want it played at my funeral as well,

0:13:23 > 0:13:25so it's a record that's been with me from the age of 12,

0:13:25 > 0:13:27and I'm now 56 and I'm still listening to it.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32Ah, those were the days. Right, what's next?

0:13:32 > 0:13:34First artist I remember really falling in love with

0:13:34 > 0:13:36was Francis Bacon.

0:13:36 > 0:13:40There's these big sort of gooey pastelly...they look like

0:13:40 > 0:13:43desserts that you should be able to just put a spoon in and eat,

0:13:43 > 0:13:46all these amazing pinks and these lush colours.

0:13:46 > 0:13:49I was at university and I remember there was

0:13:49 > 0:13:51a Bacon exhibition down at the Tate.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54The night bus going in to London, I remember looking at the price

0:13:54 > 0:13:57of the exhibition programme and thinking, "Pff.

0:13:57 > 0:14:00"I buy that, I don't eat today," but I had to buy it.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02The scenes from the Crucifixion,

0:14:02 > 0:14:07um...it's an extraordinary painting that's in London. Wow.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09It's his answer to what was happening during World War II,

0:14:09 > 0:14:13and it's a really heavy painting, and every time I look at it,

0:14:13 > 0:14:14it scares me again.

0:14:18 > 0:14:22Irish actor Colm Meaney is one of those familiar faces.

0:14:22 > 0:14:24We feel like we've known him for decades, and we have,

0:14:24 > 0:14:27from The Commitments to Star Trek and Deep Space Nine,

0:14:27 > 0:14:31but his latest movie is a car share with a difference.

0:14:31 > 0:14:34No Peter Kay in the driving seat, but an imagined journey

0:14:34 > 0:14:38between political adversaries Martin McGuinness and Dr Ian Paisley.

0:14:38 > 0:14:43OK, I do know your face. Who are you really?

0:14:45 > 0:14:48This is Dr Ian Paisley,

0:14:48 > 0:14:52leader of the Democratic Unionist Party,

0:14:52 > 0:14:56- founder and moderator of the Free Presbyterian Church.- Cool.

0:14:57 > 0:15:00And...you, sir?

0:15:00 > 0:15:02This is Martin McGuinness,

0:15:02 > 0:15:05former chief of staff of the Irish Republican Army.

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Allegedly.

0:15:08 > 0:15:12What did you think when you heard about the film The Journey?

0:15:12 > 0:15:18My initial reaction was it might be slightly dry, you know, but once

0:15:18 > 0:15:22I started reading it, I sat down to read it and I couldn't put it down.

0:15:22 > 0:15:26I just read it straight through in one sitting, you know,

0:15:26 > 0:15:31and it, um...it made me laugh and by the end, it had me in tears.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35It was just a beautiful piece of writing and about such

0:15:35 > 0:15:38a significant event and extraordinary characters.

0:15:38 > 0:15:44I think the film has an emotional power that you wouldn't expect in a story like this.

0:15:44 > 0:15:47You have been asked to betray your tribe...

0:15:47 > 0:15:51and I've been asked to betray mine.

0:15:52 > 0:15:56- That's all.- Were you apprehensive at all about playing Martin McGuinness?

0:15:56 > 0:16:00People have asked me this a number of times. Not really. I mean, I met Martin just the once.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04I supported his campaign for president in 2011 and I spent

0:16:04 > 0:16:07a good part of the evening with him, and it was delightful,

0:16:07 > 0:16:10he was a delightful man, wonderful company.

0:16:10 > 0:16:13You do stop to think when you're asked to play a real-life person.

0:16:13 > 0:16:16The only time I've done it before, I played Don Revie in The Damned United.

0:16:16 > 0:16:21Yesterday afternoon, at three o'clock, I accepted the FA's offer

0:16:21 > 0:16:24to become the next manager of the England national football team.

0:16:24 > 0:16:28Iconic figures like that, you have to make an attempt to look like them and you have to

0:16:28 > 0:16:32make an attempt to sound like them, but the important thing is getting the character right.

0:16:32 > 0:16:36- Did that journey actually happen? - No.- So it's entirely fictional?

0:16:36 > 0:16:40- Well, it's not entirely fictional. - They must have shared...- Yes.

0:16:40 > 0:16:43They did travel together quite frequently.

0:16:43 > 0:16:47There was one journey where they were together on a small plane,

0:16:47 > 0:16:49a private plane, and I think Peter Hain was there

0:16:49 > 0:16:51and a few other people were there,

0:16:51 > 0:16:53but it's an imagining of what could have happened.

0:16:53 > 0:16:54The issue in the pictures,

0:16:54 > 0:16:58how did these guys get from where they were to where they got to.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01How did they get from not being in the same room

0:17:01 > 0:17:04- to the Chuckle Brothers... - Never, ever speaking to each other!

0:17:04 > 0:17:06They never spoke to each other. You know?

0:17:06 > 0:17:11- And then suddenly we have these images of them laughing and smiling together.- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

0:17:11 > 0:17:14How did that happen? And we don't know, really, how it happened.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17Neither of them spoke to that issue, you know,

0:17:17 > 0:17:20or gave a blow-by-blow account, and any film,

0:17:20 > 0:17:24any drama that tries to present history is in a way a fiction.

0:17:24 > 0:17:28And the accent as well? We're hearing your Dublin accent coming through despite, what,

0:17:28 > 0:17:31- three decades in LA?- Yeah.- You've managed to hold on to the accent.

0:17:31 > 0:17:35Do you think it was maybe a wee bit more West Belfast than...

0:17:35 > 0:17:37- Yeah, probably, yeah.- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:17:37 > 0:17:41What you want to do is be understood, most importantly.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43I mean, you want to be as close,

0:17:43 > 0:17:47but it's representation - as I say, it's not an impersonation.

0:17:47 > 0:17:49And this is going to...

0:17:49 > 0:17:54Well, I feel it will be looked at locally probably quite forensically.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- It does feel like this is very much an international audience...- Yes.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00- ..that this is playing to.- Exactly.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03I mean, accents are funny things. They're...

0:18:03 > 0:18:05I remember years ago doing a film, Far And Away,

0:18:05 > 0:18:08and I thought I did this wonderful hybrid accent.

0:18:08 > 0:18:11Jesus Christ, when's your voice going to change?!

0:18:11 > 0:18:13INAUDIBLE

0:18:13 > 0:18:14And I'll put money on you.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17'There was a stage hand at a theatre in Chicago - he was'

0:18:17 > 0:18:21originally from Galway, but he'd been in America a long time,

0:18:21 > 0:18:25you know, and it, sort of, had gone totally hybrid Galway-America,

0:18:25 > 0:18:27but he was a real kind of Yank, you know?

0:18:27 > 0:18:30And so I decided to use this accent in the film,

0:18:30 > 0:18:34and I was accused of doing a dreadful American accent!

0:18:34 > 0:18:37And you had your licence to kill!

0:18:37 > 0:18:40- We were fighting a civil war! - And you lost!

0:18:40 > 0:18:43You're talking here not just about Martin McGuinness but also

0:18:43 > 0:18:48about the Reverend Ian Paisley - two very difficult figures to reconcile.

0:18:48 > 0:18:53How do you imagine people locally are going to watch this film?

0:18:53 > 0:18:55Well, we made this film, it was kind of, like,

0:18:55 > 0:18:59this is something that happened and it was amazing, and look,

0:18:59 > 0:19:05these two figures who were polar opposites managed to travel

0:19:05 > 0:19:07that distance to be able to work together.

0:19:07 > 0:19:12And then suddenly here we are in 2017 where we need to look at

0:19:12 > 0:19:16what these two men did in our own situation, because you have

0:19:16 > 0:19:20the Assembly elections, you've the General Election coming up now.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23I think they're further apart than they've been in a long time,

0:19:23 > 0:19:27so you would hope that a film like this that actually kind of...

0:19:27 > 0:19:30in praise of compromise, you would hope that that would have

0:19:30 > 0:19:33some influence on the players who are here today.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37We had a civil war.

0:19:39 > 0:19:45And this is our only opportunity for both sides to walk away

0:19:45 > 0:19:47with heads held high.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Along Haigh Terrace

0:19:55 > 0:20:00A drizzle of wind and rain rattles the loose windows upstairs

0:20:00 > 0:20:03Is that himself I see squinting behind the scrim curtains?

0:20:04 > 0:20:07This is surely where he'd spotted the people

0:20:07 > 0:20:10Heading to Carlisle Pier - the belted suitcase,

0:20:10 > 0:20:15The blue serge suit, the V-neck gansey,

0:20:15 > 0:20:19All in readiness for Princess Maud's heave through the Irish Sea,

0:20:19 > 0:20:25Nothing spectacular but that last sight of Scotsman's Bay as she works her way free.

0:20:27 > 0:20:30Not a bad day today, by all accounts.

0:20:30 > 0:20:33Little bits of mist hang above our encampments.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36Villas wedged into cliff face.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40The grand terraces overlooking the bay.

0:20:40 > 0:20:42An older order of things.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46Along with the spritely

0:20:46 > 0:20:49There's one or two giving out on the latest iPhones

0:20:49 > 0:20:51Unassuageable complaint

0:20:51 > 0:20:56I keep to the east pier under this cold blanket of sky

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Patches of mist like smoke from the fire.

0:21:07 > 0:21:12With just about 10% of UK films directed by women,

0:21:12 > 0:21:16we put out a call to emerging female film-makers to submit ideas

0:21:16 > 0:21:20for short arts films, two minute masterpieces.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22Well, we've whittled them down to five.

0:21:22 > 0:21:26They're all available on our BBC Arts Show website now and they are great,

0:21:26 > 0:21:29but we thought that we would bring you a couple of them here.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33Directors Solene Guichard and Myrid Carten, take a bow.

0:21:36 > 0:21:38HUBBUB

0:21:40 > 0:21:41HEAVY BREATHING

0:21:51 > 0:21:56Hi, you've got toilet roll on your shoe.

0:21:56 > 0:22:00THEY CHATTER

0:22:00 > 0:22:01..thank you so much...

0:23:33 > 0:23:38JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

0:23:44 > 0:23:45BARKS

0:23:45 > 0:23:48BIRDSONG

0:23:48 > 0:23:50RATTLING

0:23:53 > 0:23:55SHOUTING

0:23:58 > 0:24:01BEEPING

0:24:05 > 0:24:07SIGHS

0:24:43 > 0:24:44EXHALES

0:24:50 > 0:24:54JAUNTY MUSIC

0:25:43 > 0:25:48Aren't they just great? All five are on our BBC Arts Show website now.

0:25:48 > 0:25:51While you're there, do check out our iPlayer Arts Show X programme,

0:25:51 > 0:25:54and of course, we're on the wireless Tuesdays to Fridays,

0:25:54 > 0:25:57half past six on BBC Radio Ulster.

0:25:57 > 0:25:59We're going to leave you with something a bit special.

0:25:59 > 0:26:03Saint Sister, whose sound has been dubbed atmos folk.

0:26:03 > 0:26:07They play the National Concert Hall on 7th June and here they are,

0:26:07 > 0:26:09with an exclusive performance for the Arts Show.

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Causing Trouble is their new single. Bye for now.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31# Came by to tell me

0:26:31 > 0:26:33# How you've changed

0:26:34 > 0:26:37# You've got a new car

0:26:37 > 0:26:39# She keeps you safe

0:26:42 > 0:26:46# And you don't think of me like that

0:26:48 > 0:26:52# I hope the moment didn't pass

0:26:53 > 0:26:56# But honey I know you

0:26:56 > 0:27:00# We dance to Elvis in the kitchen

0:27:00 > 0:27:02# At least we used to

0:27:06 > 0:27:09# And honey you know me

0:27:09 > 0:27:12# We danced from Belfast to the Basin

0:27:12 > 0:27:15# When you sang Honey stow me

0:27:15 > 0:27:18# Better stow me

0:27:20 > 0:27:27# You on the blue carpet

0:27:27 > 0:27:30# Let's swap bodies for a while

0:27:32 > 0:27:34# What was I doing

0:27:34 > 0:27:40# Oh no she's causing trouble I hear

0:27:41 > 0:27:44# Causing trouble I hear

0:27:46 > 0:27:49# You said darling it's a shame

0:27:52 > 0:27:56# Was I intent on staying strange

0:27:59 > 0:28:03# Take that car out of my garden

0:28:05 > 0:28:08# We should have left it on the island

0:28:10 > 0:28:12# Honey I know you

0:28:14 > 0:28:16# Doesn't that count for something

0:28:16 > 0:28:19# At least I used to

0:28:24 > 0:28:30# You on the blue carpet

0:28:30 > 0:28:34# Let's swap bodies for a while

0:28:36 > 0:28:38# What was I doing

0:28:38 > 0:28:41# All of those years

0:28:41 > 0:28:45# Causing trouble I hear

0:28:45 > 0:28:48# Causing trouble I hear. #