The Culture Show at the Edinburgh Festival - Part 2

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:00:17. > :00:22.Welcome to the Culture Show at the Edinburgh Festival. I am talking

:00:22. > :00:31.quietly because I have chanced upon this rare beast, the cabaret artist

:00:31. > :00:35.in its natural habitat, although it's usually a very nocturnal and

:00:35. > :00:45.thirsty creature. Stay tuned for the best in art, charity and dance.

:00:45. > :00:47.

:00:47. > :00:53.I'm going to leave now because I Coming up: a sneak preview of the

:00:53. > :01:01.Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, clemency Burton Hill finds out how to turn a

:01:01. > :01:06.cult novel into spectacular theatre. David Sidaris tells me how to turn

:01:06. > :01:12.little moments into big laughs and New York double act Craig and

:01:12. > :01:22.Kirstin drop into the room with us too, also, Ian Rankin talks with

:01:22. > :01:24.

:01:24. > :01:29.gallery director Sandy. Our first- timer at the festival explores the

:01:29. > :01:32.Edinburgh Fringe. We will bring you the best movers and shakers in town.

:01:33. > :01:38.First up, like me, David grew up believing the whole world wanted to

:01:38. > :01:45.hear what he had to say, unlike me, he was right. Subsequently, he's

:01:45. > :01:54.gone on to sell 14 million books worldwide. His unique brand of

:01:54. > :01:59.self-deprecating work takes such topics as business flights and flat

:01:59. > :02:03.lent grannies. I was lucky enough to meet him. When my wife and I

:02:03. > :02:07.first moved to North Carolina we lived three blocks from the school

:02:07. > :02:10.I would begin the third grade. My mother made friends of the

:02:10. > :02:14.neighbours, but one seemed enough for her. Within a year, we moved

:02:14. > :02:21.again. As she explained, there wasn't much point in getting too

:02:21. > :02:25.close to people we would have to say goodbye to. We have decided to

:02:25. > :02:29.do this interview in a dissection room in honour of the time I think

:02:29. > :02:32.you spent in a mortuary. Was there a reason or was it just - I was

:02:32. > :02:36.living in New York. A magazine called. They asked me if I wanted

:02:36. > :02:40.to write for them. They said I could do whatever I wanted. I

:02:40. > :02:44.always wanted to see a lot of dead people. You can't just walk in.

:02:44. > :02:49.This magazine would get me in. guess the most famous job you had

:02:49. > :02:54.was you started off as a department store elf. I can see that. I am

:02:54. > :02:58.small, and I am merry, so they hired me. They're the two CV points

:02:58. > :03:03.you would look for in an elf almost exclusively, you would think.

:03:03. > :03:08.Exactly. That's all you need. wear a Zhangly hat with a bell on

:03:08. > :03:12.it. Well, I had an outfit, and I did it for two years. Was this a

:03:12. > :03:15.financial necessity? Was there part of you that thought, I'm home now

:03:15. > :03:21.is I'm with my people? LAUGHTER

:03:21. > :03:27.I'm going to stay in elf-land forever? That's great. No-one loves

:03:27. > :03:30.Christmas more than me, but I didn't actually feel like -

:03:30. > :03:33.(Laughs) I'm home. You're constantly writing a diary through

:03:33. > :03:37.all of this point. This is something - you don't know that

:03:37. > :03:40.fame or success are coming. You're doing it because you need to write.

:03:40. > :03:44.Writing is a compulsion at this point in your life? I think so. You

:03:44. > :03:49.know, I started writing when I turned 20. I think I just exhausted

:03:49. > :03:53.every other way of trying to get attention. I tried being an artist,

:03:53. > :04:00.a horrible artist. I tried being an actor, and the second I got on

:04:00. > :04:04.stage, all of my nervous tics came back. This is just next on the list.

:04:04. > :04:10.But now performance is such a large part of your work. A lot of your

:04:10. > :04:13.time is spent performing your own - readings of your own writing.

:04:13. > :04:19.but I like that. That's as far as I'm willing to go. Like, I would

:04:19. > :04:24.not want to... You wouldn't do it in a wig? Wouldn't put a wig on, a

:04:24. > :04:27.little outfit, jazz it up a bit? I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to

:04:27. > :04:32.memorise anything because that changes everything as well. If I'm

:04:32. > :04:36.in an audience, I don't want that person on stage looking at me

:04:36. > :04:40.because I know you're like this - because I want to be polite and I

:04:40. > :04:44.want to look like I'm entertaining myself, like I'm prepared to laugh

:04:44. > :04:47.at any moment, so I like it to be dark so I can't see them, so they

:04:47. > :04:54.don't have to worry that I'm going to look at them. All I do is read.

:04:54. > :04:57.I'm not selling myself. I read read, and every now and then I'll look up.

:04:57. > :05:02.I was in my early 20s when a Chinese restaurant opened in

:05:02. > :05:07.Raleigh. It was in a new building designed to look vaguely templeish,

:05:07. > :05:11.and my mother couldn't get enough of it. "What do yousai we go

:05:11. > :05:16.oriental?" I think she liked that the food was beyond her range.

:05:16. > :05:21.Anyone could imitate the twice- baked potatoes at the Peddler or

:05:21. > :05:25.turn out a veal Parmesan at one restaurant, but there was no way a

:05:25. > :05:31.non-Chinese person could make mushu pork. I always got my order to

:05:31. > :05:36.order for me but when the kung pao chicken was ordered for me I never

:05:36. > :05:43.perked up the way I did at the steakhouse. It wasn't just

:05:43. > :05:46.Raleigh's Chinese food. I was also disinterested in Chicago or New

:05:46. > :05:52.York. Everyone swore that the food in Beijing would be different from

:05:52. > :05:56.what I'd had in the US. "It's more real," is what they said, meaning

:05:56. > :05:59.that it turned out that I could dislike it more authentically.

:05:59. > :06:04.of the great stuff you do is connected to stories about your

:06:04. > :06:09.family. One of my favourite one is you and your partner Hugh going to

:06:09. > :06:13.watch I think it is The End of the Affair as the bombs are falling and

:06:13. > :06:16.the totally different reaction you had to the same experience. Hugh is

:06:16. > :06:20.a good - it's interesting to think of the person that you have been

:06:20. > :06:26.with for the last 20 years as a character, but the character of him

:06:26. > :06:34.is good just because he is the - such a consistent straight man, so

:06:34. > :06:38.he's always good to... So he's the foil, the kind of... Yeah. "He

:06:38. > :06:41.sobbed from beginning to end, and by the time we left the theatre, he

:06:41. > :06:47.was completely dehydrated. I asked if he always cried during comedies,

:06:47. > :06:50.and he accused me of being grossly insensitive, charge I am trying to

:06:50. > :06:55.plea bargain down to a simple obnoxious."

:06:55. > :07:00.My family - it's all stuff that they think is funny because often

:07:00. > :07:03.people say, oh, how can they ever forgive you after - I think, what

:07:03. > :07:07.do you think I have said about them that's so revealed? Like, I have

:07:07. > :07:10.never revealed any of their secrets. I think maybe it gives the illusion

:07:10. > :07:16.of doing that but it hasn't really, so I'll say to somebody, like,

:07:16. > :07:20."What do you really know about my sister?" "She has a parrot."

:07:20. > :07:24.Like, yeah, she has a parrot. That's what you know! I mean, you

:07:24. > :07:28.think you know all of these things. I know she did something awful in a

:07:28. > :07:33.picnic area. Did I talk about that? I didn't write about that, though,

:07:33. > :07:37.did I? You alluded to it, so now that stays with me now. It was -

:07:37. > :07:41.what could it be? There are several obvious contenders, but I have sort

:07:41. > :07:44.of over time gone, oh, no, actually, there's quite a wide variety of

:07:44. > :07:49.things that you could do in a picnic area that would be appalling,

:07:49. > :07:54.you know? So finally, you've obviously moved

:07:54. > :07:57.to Paris, and now you're in England. Yes. England has got you for awhile,

:07:57. > :08:00.which I am delighted about. What is it about England that suddenly

:08:00. > :08:07.caught your fancy now? Well, I was living in Paris, and I started

:08:07. > :08:12.coming here for - to do things for the BBC, and I think I came for the

:08:12. > :08:14.first time, I don't know, maybe ten years ago, and I thought, it's open

:08:14. > :08:19.on Sunday, because Paris is completely closed on Sunday, and

:08:19. > :08:22.that was enough for me. Just the sake of the democracy was enough...

:08:22. > :08:28.That was enough! But I don't think people understand either - how

:08:28. > :08:32.difficult it is to get your papers to be able to live in another

:08:32. > :08:37.country, so I have indefinite leave to remain now in the UK. Do you?

:08:37. > :08:40.Uh-huh. I had to take a test. you do the citizen - tell me you

:08:40. > :08:45.took the citizens... I did. Apparently it's the hardest thing

:08:45. > :08:48.in the world. Somebody told me two or three questions. I have no idea

:08:48. > :08:53.of the order of the Kings and Queens. What year did women get the

:08:53. > :08:58.right to divorce their husbands? What year did they get the right to

:08:58. > :09:02.vote? 1931. How old do you have to be to deliver milk in the United

:09:02. > :09:04.Kingdom? There is a legal age... Try when you're 13. That's all I am

:09:04. > :09:10.saying. Thank you very much for talking to me, David. Well, thank

:09:10. > :09:14.you. And he will be tickling audiences

:09:14. > :09:20.at the international Conference Centre until Saturday. It's still a

:09:20. > :09:25.no, I am afraid. Sorry. Visitors to the vest value could be forgiven

:09:25. > :09:28.thinking it's all about comedy and theatre. Indeed, those two art

:09:28. > :09:33.forms intend to prevail. It's definitely getting there. But

:09:33. > :09:39.dancers are all over the shop. Choreographers are fighting to find

:09:39. > :09:44.brand new audiences. We sent our double act to hunt down the best of

:09:44. > :09:49.them. This is your last chance. It's great Buckingham Palace,

:09:49. > :09:55.Saturday, 9.00pm. These days, we're known for our

:09:55. > :09:59.riotous and art-fuelled comedy, but there was a time in the not-too-

:09:59. > :10:02.distant past when we could be found dabbling in the dark arts of

:10:02. > :10:07.contemporary dance. And while there are thousands of sho shows to see

:10:07. > :10:11.at the festival this year we still see dance as the beating heart...

:10:11. > :10:16.And sweaty crotch... Of the festival. I have always wanted to

:10:16. > :10:21.say "sweaty crotch" on the Culture Show. Dance is an often

:10:21. > :10:23.misunderstood form, whose meaning can sometimes seem impenetrable.

:10:23. > :10:28.But we've noticed this year choreographers making real efforts

:10:28. > :10:38.to reach out to audiences, proving that dance isn't just for arty

:10:38. > :10:42.

:10:42. > :10:47.One small personal story with huge universal appeal is Swimming with

:10:47. > :10:52.My Mother, conceived and performed by David Bolger and his real-life

:10:52. > :10:55.mother Imagine. I wondered if you could tell us

:10:56. > :10:59.maybe a little bit about what inspired you to make a show about

:10:59. > :11:02.your mother, but also about swimming and how those two ideas

:11:03. > :11:06.connected. It was because my mother had put me into the water before I

:11:06. > :11:10.could really walk and with a bicycle tube around my waist, and I

:11:10. > :11:14.thought I wanted to do something on that and how maybe my life didn't

:11:14. > :11:18.stay in the swimming, but it went into dancing, and then I got a bit

:11:18. > :11:28.scared, and I thought, do you know what I'll do? I'll put my mother on

:11:28. > :11:29.

:11:29. > :11:32.stage with me, so I would have that And the sea scares me, actually. I

:11:32. > :11:37.get quite scared in the sea. I'd love it, but it scares me. I get

:11:37. > :11:41.scared of what's in it. It's really strange. I get sometimes very

:11:41. > :11:49.panicky about fish or, you know, just - I suppose because I feel

:11:49. > :11:53.like I'm in their world, and I - The characters in the piece move

:11:53. > :11:57.around in time, so we see you as a young boy and you as a young lady,

:11:57. > :12:02.and we move around, and the text helps us do that. The text is

:12:02. > :12:08.recorded and played to us as a voice-over. The way the text would

:12:08. > :12:12.- was going to work was to use it as a score for the pieces and to

:12:12. > :12:17.allow that to accompany the movement, but for us to be able to

:12:17. > :12:22.swim through that score, swim through the words and the story.

:12:22. > :12:25.The text is the water. I suppose something that had an ebb and flow

:12:25. > :12:35.to it and a theme and different subject matters that correlate to

:12:35. > :12:39.

:12:39. > :12:49.Another dance piece making ways at the Fringe tackles darker and more

:12:49. > :12:50.

:12:50. > :12:58.abstract concepts of memory. Forgetting Natasha layers flux and

:12:58. > :13:02.imagery to explore one woman's dementia.

:13:02. > :13:06.It actually started with me thinking about memories and how

:13:06. > :13:13.memories make us who we are, how they affect us on a daily basis,

:13:13. > :13:18.you know, without all of these memories, who would you be? How

:13:18. > :13:21.would you exist? This is where my personal experience of my grandpa,

:13:21. > :13:28.who unfortunately did suffer from dementia, and how he forgot how to

:13:28. > :13:32.make a cup of tea to him forgetting who my mum was and, you know,

:13:32. > :13:35.eventually, really, just completely forgetting himself. I don't

:13:35. > :13:45.remember people's names, but I remember being on a train not

:13:45. > :13:49.

:13:49. > :13:53.Covering my school books with wrapping paper, walking in the rain,

:13:53. > :13:58.the bell ringing and always arriving late for my music lessons.

:13:58. > :14:01.What we see is some projected images on screen and some

:14:01. > :14:06.incredibly complex production. Can you tell us about how you arrived

:14:06. > :14:10.at the multimedia? This idea of the memories that we keep them in like

:14:10. > :14:14.boxes - they're made up of hundreds of boxs that we open and close, and

:14:14. > :14:19.they come out sometimes, and some days they maybe weigh very heavy on

:14:19. > :14:22.you, and some days they lift you up - that's the idea of where all of

:14:22. > :14:32.these boxes came from. I don't remember your face anymore. But I

:14:32. > :14:32.

:14:33. > :14:36.I remember you. I will always remember you. They are using all

:14:36. > :14:40.these different tools such as the poetry, the speaking, the visual

:14:40. > :14:45.elements, the dancing, all coming together. When I make a piece of

:14:45. > :14:49.work, I am trying to communicate, so I hope that, through using these

:14:49. > :14:56.different mediums, it does make the work accessible. Even more

:14:56. > :15:03.emotionally resonant is Falling Man, a piece inspired by Richard Drew's

:15:03. > :15:07.iconic and controversial photograph from 9/11. This show explore as

:15:07. > :15:12.painful moment in our collective history through a powerful fusion

:15:12. > :15:18.of movement and text. For more than an hour and a half they streamed

:15:18. > :15:26.through the building one after another. And they were all very

:15:26. > :15:29.much obviously very much alive on their way down. I was really

:15:29. > :15:35.nervous about making the piece, thinking would I do something would

:15:35. > :15:38.do it justice? As somebody that didn't live through that, whether I

:15:38. > :15:44.could make a comment on that. It is something we all experienced, one

:15:44. > :15:50.of those days that we all remember, and we all have a resonance with it.

:15:50. > :15:57.They were culled jumpers or the jumpers, as if to represent some

:15:57. > :16:01.new lemming-like class. It places new the position of trying to

:16:01. > :16:05.consider a human being's predicament in that situation. Yes

:16:05. > :16:11.it's got this big context but at the heart of it it is about this

:16:11. > :16:15.one man, who is having to make a decision. Yeah, that's what it was

:16:15. > :16:23.about for us, the humanity of it. If you were in this situation, what

:16:23. > :16:30.would you do? Now, the falling man is falling through much more than

:16:30. > :16:38.blank, blue sky. He's falling through the vast spaces of memory.

:16:38. > :16:41.And picking up speed. Is it a dance piece? Is it a theatre piece?

:16:41. > :16:45.think it is somewhere middle. I think it is dance theatre, yeah. It

:16:45. > :16:49.very much has its roots in dance and movement, but yeah, it needs

:16:49. > :16:55.the text and it needs something to give it context. I wonder if you

:16:55. > :17:00.have a sense of what dance or dance theatre can do that maybe strikes

:17:00. > :17:03.that it can't do? It adds something on an emotional level. I think it

:17:04. > :17:13.offers something that is more subtle and allows the audience to

:17:14. > :17:21.

:17:21. > :17:25.reflect more rather than be told That's three pieces here at the

:17:25. > :17:29.Fringe that tell us powerful, complex and deeply human stories.

:17:29. > :17:33.For us, that's what dance theatre does best.

:17:33. > :17:37.There'll be more dance from the international festival next week.

:17:37. > :17:43.Now to one of the highlights of this year's Edinburgh Art Festival.

:17:43. > :17:47.The Tony Cragg is one of the world's greatest sculptors, using

:17:47. > :17:50.natural and synthetic materials to create beautiful objects that defy

:17:50. > :17:56.categorisation. Alastair Sooke went to meet him at the gallery of

:17:56. > :18:06.modern art, where he had put the final touches to his first show in

:18:06. > :18:06.

:18:06. > :18:13.over a decade. Back in the 1980s a group came

:18:13. > :18:18.together. They included Anish Kapoor and others. This year the

:18:18. > :18:23.Scottish gallery of modern art is celebrating a member of the group

:18:23. > :18:28.who hasn't penetrated the public's consciousness in the same way, a

:18:28. > :18:35.star of British sculptor who sadly has been overlooked in his homeland,

:18:35. > :18:39.Tony cafplgt Crag's early sculptors used found

:18:39. > :18:44.plastic objects. With his work in demand in galleries round the world

:18:44. > :18:52.he was one of Britain's brightest artistic talents. The winner of the

:18:52. > :18:56.Turner Prize in 1998 is Tony Cragg. Even though he won the Turner Prize

:18:56. > :19:01.and represented Britain in 1988, Tony Cragg is still a bit

:19:01. > :19:06.unfamiliar to lots of people. In part because since 1977 he's lived

:19:06. > :19:11.in Germany, where he has a studio in a former tank factory. But this

:19:11. > :19:19.new exhibition in Edinburgh of nearly 50 recent sculptures offer

:19:19. > :19:26.as remind they are Cragg's career didn't ossify after his peak in

:19:26. > :19:32.1980. He deserves to be celebrated. And this is the first time that

:19:32. > :19:38.many of these stunning works have been shown here in the UK. I met up

:19:38. > :19:43.with the artest for a tour of the final installation. This isn't the

:19:43. > :19:48.first room in the show, but I thought it might be a good place to

:19:48. > :19:52.start. Partly because, this is a piece called Under The Skin and it

:19:52. > :19:56.reminds me of some of the work from earlier in your career where you

:19:56. > :20:00.used found objects. You can see this is a chair, this is a table

:20:00. > :20:03.and it is covered in hooks. Sculpture is very much about

:20:03. > :20:06.reading a surface. How should we read this one? That's what we have

:20:06. > :20:12.to find out. The surface we are seeing is indicative of energy

:20:12. > :20:16.states. Just doing this, this is an enormous amount of energy to this

:20:16. > :20:23.in. This is a lot of work. They are curly forces off the surface and

:20:23. > :20:29.they stick on the to each other, like Velcro. This attachment, this

:20:29. > :20:38.potential to kind of attach you. This stickiness about it I think is,

:20:38. > :20:45.it excited me. That's why I made the work. Tell me about this piece.

:20:45. > :20:51.It is called Hedge? Yes. This is part of a new group of works. It is

:20:51. > :20:56.just the idea of in England you've got fields, monocultures of nothing,

:20:56. > :21:04.in the middle between each field is a wide hedge. I and my brothers, we

:21:04. > :21:09.used to love to be in these hedges. It was like a paradicic world, if

:21:09. > :21:15.you like. I want to build something that has the buzz of a metropolis

:21:15. > :21:19.but it is one of the hedge, if you like. I think the hedge idea is

:21:19. > :21:23.really very beautiful. It is also people think of sculpture as solid

:21:23. > :21:29.and traditionally full of mass, and this is, you can go in and around

:21:29. > :21:39.it. Yes, that's right. Sometimes you only want the aroma of

:21:39. > :21:40.

:21:40. > :21:46.something. This bright yellow piece, what are we looking at? We are

:21:46. > :21:49.looking at are some commercial vessels. What, plastic? Originally.

:21:49. > :21:57.The things I drew originally... If you come round this side, can I

:21:57. > :22:04.show you. This here is a detergentle, a shampoo bottle.

:22:04. > :22:07.you've extended it. This is a Domestos bottle. It is very

:22:07. > :22:12.interesting the parallel with the first room, because I can see you

:22:12. > :22:18.are taking something which, to use your words, is quite banal, an

:22:18. > :22:22.everyday thing, a table chair, and transforming it into something

:22:22. > :22:26.magnificent, different, very unexpected. At the moment you were

:22:26. > :22:29.not bound by utilitarianism, the vocabulary of form is free for you.

:22:29. > :22:33.You don't have to be practical and economic with it. Suddenly things

:22:33. > :22:36.start to happen. The thing grows up into space and becomes something

:22:36. > :22:46.that you noble else has ever seen before and you have to struggle

:22:46. > :22:47.

:22:47. > :22:50.with it. -- nobody else. To a lot of people it is

:22:50. > :22:55.objectionable to see sculpture, because they don't know what it is

:22:55. > :23:02.for. "What is it for?" It's for nothing. It is just because it

:23:02. > :23:10.gives you new ideas, new emotions, new language or something. What is

:23:10. > :23:14.this piece called? Red Figure. is part of the Rational Being

:23:14. > :23:19.series, is it? It is, yes. strikes me that in all of these

:23:19. > :23:22.series you are playing with futurism. Future Rix, no, future

:23:22. > :23:27.Rix wanted to have the illusion of movement. I don't think that's what

:23:27. > :23:31.I want. I want energy. Even though it is on about it have any energy,

:23:32. > :23:36.you are creating the illusion. course it has energy. Only because

:23:36. > :23:40.you've imbued it as a sculpture. no. Something sticks out like this

:23:40. > :23:45.with amazing energy. That's real strength. That's real power to keep

:23:45. > :23:49.that volume out there. That is energy. I'm probably being dumb.

:23:49. > :23:53.Energy sort of implies motion to me. I suppose this has an illusion that

:23:53. > :23:58.we've seen something that's freeze- framed and almost like a piece of

:23:58. > :24:03.smoke, or material smoke, is about to shift before our eyes. No, I can

:24:03. > :24:08.understand why you say that but I see it differently. The thing about

:24:08. > :24:15.sculpture, when people say statue, static. They have the idea of

:24:15. > :24:22.stasis, of ridge itity of a frozen moment. The history of sculpture in

:24:22. > :24:30.the last 100 years is fantastically dynamic, evolving, developing. You

:24:30. > :24:34.should never see the material as being something static.

:24:34. > :24:40.formidable Mr Cragg has lost none of his energy. The exhibition is a

:24:40. > :24:46.timely reminder of his importance, but di wonder if, from his studio

:24:46. > :24:50.in Germany, he ever felt overshadowed by the media stars of

:24:50. > :24:55.British sculpture. I think anybody that makes sculpture is heroic and

:24:55. > :25:00.interesting. I'm a real sculpture enthuse yavements I think there are

:25:00. > :25:04.lots of really great sculptors around. But I'm competitive in

:25:04. > :25:07.myself and especially in what I'm trying to do for myself. I'm not

:25:07. > :25:16.really scerpbd about other people's opinion too much, to be frank. They

:25:16. > :25:19.want to make something better, they should get on with it. You can see

:25:19. > :25:29.Tony Cragg's sculptures until November 6th.

:25:29. > :25:30.

:25:30. > :25:36.Now Governor, cor blimey, strike a light, would you Adam and EVe it,

:25:36. > :25:46.have a banana. If you don't care about the song, you are hard

:25:46. > :26:03.

:26:03. > :26:07.# Remember the comedy song # Musically weak and the joke's not

:26:07. > :26:10.that strong # Makes me think of bad school

:26:10. > :26:15.reviews # Deluded prep school kids

:26:15. > :26:25.# So far from cool # Playing the fool

:26:25. > :26:25.

:26:25. > :26:28.# Synthetic shirt from Next # Was it as embarrassing as we

:26:28. > :26:31.remember # # Golf is a wonderful, a wonderful

:26:31. > :26:35.sport # You really ought to try it

:26:35. > :26:40.# Every ought. It will keep you happy and enjoying life

:26:40. > :26:44.# But it keeps you away from the wife #

:26:44. > :26:49.# God can you imagine how his kids must feel? I would have bullied

:26:49. > :26:59.them if I was at their school # Caning never worked

:26:59. > :27:09.# Can it be right # Can comedy songs ever be cool #

:27:09. > :27:12.

:27:12. > :27:16.# It's easy to think they can't because of a bunch of comedians not

:27:16. > :27:22.helping the cause # The things that you hear on Radio

:27:22. > :27:27.# The same three people and the same three chords

:27:27. > :27:30.# But don't panic # Because there's a new breed of

:27:30. > :27:35.musical missionary # With genuine skill

:27:35. > :27:39.# Not just a rhyming dictionary # And actual jokes not snide

:27:39. > :27:45.remarks # Production values not acoustic

:27:45. > :27:51.git ars # Mascara

:27:51. > :27:54.# High-heeled boots # Not grey-haired men in grey-

:27:54. > :28:00.coloured suits. # # You see there is hope

:28:00. > :28:05.# Gotta make sure you've got a few things up your sleeve

:28:05. > :28:12.# You gotta look good you gotta be funny

:28:12. > :28:16.# You gotta sing right # Throw a few moves in there too

:28:16. > :28:22.# You've got ta have attitude # And maybe advice

:28:22. > :28:27.# I think you just described Rihanna

:28:27. > :28:36.# Is Rihanna comedy # No, no, no, no, no

:28:36. > :28:42.Um, I usually don't have much trouble.

:28:42. > :28:47.# Call me rude, boy, boy - is it big enough? #

:28:47. > :28:53.You're kind of scaring me. Can we not just cuddle?

:28:53. > :28:58.# We need expert help # # Let's sing a comedy song

:28:58. > :29:01.# We have four chords # Can't go wrong.

:29:01. > :29:03.# Make it sexual # Or people will think you're a -

:29:03. > :29:06.# Say the punch line at the end of the line

:29:06. > :29:10.# Or if you want them to try # Go into a miner

:29:10. > :29:18.# If it's topical, sing about your internet provider

:29:18. > :29:23.# Or just smile, smile, smile - huh # Let's sing a comedy ditty. We're

:29:23. > :29:26.in Edinburgh, the cultural city # Make sure there is a story as

:29:26. > :29:36.well as ha, has # If you want to get five

:29:36. > :29:41.

:29:41. > :29:45.# If you want to get a five stars # So believe in the relevance of

:29:45. > :29:51.humorous songs # Keep faith

:29:51. > :29:59.# And open your eyes # Look around you

:29:59. > :30:04.# There's so much to see out there # From rockin' Australians

:30:04. > :30:06.# To DJs with facial hair # There are loads of things

:30:06. > :30:09.# That would be awful if you said them

:30:09. > :30:16.# But when we sing them, they're funny

:30:16. > :30:23.# And that's the way this works # So leave it to the people

:30:23. > :30:26.# Who are beautiful and talented # Who won't fall back on hazy

:30:26. > :30:31.# Rhymes involving cheese # Leave it to the people

:30:31. > :30:33.# Who DO have grade five theory # And at least four stars from a

:30:33. > :30:43.critic # And please -

:30:43. > :30:44.

:30:44. > :30:48.# Don't stop believin' # Hold on to that feeling

:30:48. > :30:58.# Streetlights # Keep us

:30:58. > :31:14.

:31:15. > :31:17.# Don't stop believin' old? Hold on to that feeling

:31:17. > :31:26.# Streetlights, people # Oh!

:31:26. > :31:32.# Don't stop! # And frisky and Mannache won't stop

:31:32. > :31:36.believing until August 28th when they'll have to contractually leave,

:31:36. > :31:41.but they will be touring in October. Now - in the streets of Edinburgh,

:31:41. > :31:47.the writings of Ricky can be strange and downright surreal. His

:31:47. > :31:51.novel, the Windup Chronicle has been developed into a play.

:31:51. > :31:56.Clemency Burton-Hill went to New York to check out the rehearsals in

:31:56. > :32:06.advance of its Premier in Edinburgh later this week. You should hear

:32:06. > :32:08.

:32:08. > :32:15.The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle is a detective story set against the

:32:15. > :32:23.secret world of life in suburban Tokyo. Her eightth novel is a bend

:32:23. > :32:27.of sci-fi, noire and post modern realism. Nurakami is a truly

:32:27. > :32:31.literalrary voice. They're truly ambitious literary works

:32:31. > :32:36.intertwined with the surreal and hyperreal leaving the reader with

:32:36. > :32:38.an unforgotten set of images emblazoned across the mind but not

:32:38. > :32:43.necessarily ones that'll easily be translated from the page to the

:32:44. > :32:48.stage. This production evokes the same dream-like imagery as the

:32:48. > :32:53.novel, using film, puppetry, dance and performance techniques to

:32:53. > :32:57.explore the complex world of the modern Japanese psyche. Few

:32:57. > :33:02.directors would be bold or perhaps crazy enough to attempt to bring a

:33:02. > :33:08.novel as complex as the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle to the stage. But

:33:08. > :33:12.Steven Earnhearth hart with his background in film and music videos

:33:12. > :33:15.is perhaps the perfect man. What drew you to this work and the Wind-

:33:15. > :33:18.Up Bird Chronicle in particular? When I read The Wind-Up Bird

:33:18. > :33:23.Chronicle, for me, it was a chance to envision a project that was

:33:23. > :33:27.going to take all of the things that I was really passionate about,

:33:27. > :33:32.which is live performance and cinema, even sound and do something

:33:32. > :33:35.that I had never done before, which was create something that I called

:33:35. > :33:40.living cinema, so to take all the things I loved about film and all

:33:40. > :33:45.the things I loved about live performance and put them into one

:33:45. > :33:51.single project. There is a moment in the book when the protagonist,

:33:51. > :33:54.Toru Okada, says the one thing I understood for sure is I didn't

:33:54. > :33:59.understand anything. That could speak for all the readers. How did

:33:59. > :34:04.you begin to adapt the book into a two-hour stage play without leaving

:34:04. > :34:07.the audience baffled. It. Certainly wasn't easy. I felt a lot like the

:34:08. > :34:11.main character, groping through the darkness to find the answers. At

:34:12. > :34:16.the anchor of all of this was the story of a man who had lived with a

:34:16. > :34:20.woman for six years and ultimately had this feeling he had know idea

:34:20. > :34:24.he knew who she was. The play centres around Toru Okada, an

:34:24. > :34:29.everyday man whose life takes a bizarre turn with the disappearance

:34:29. > :34:33.of his wife and later his cat. was the last time you saw her?

:34:33. > :34:38.days ago. I zipped up her dress, kissed her goodbye and haven't

:34:38. > :34:43.heard from her since no, notes, no calls, nothing. Four days? Did you

:34:43. > :34:51.call the police, the hospitals, her family? No. Well, what the hell

:34:51. > :34:55.have you been doing? Laundry. During his quest to find his wife

:34:55. > :34:59.and the cat, he's visited by a succession of characters, each one

:35:00. > :35:03.stranger than the last. It was a pleasure meeting you today, Toru

:35:03. > :35:09.Okada. This curious cast of characters includes a ghostly war

:35:09. > :35:14.veteran, a prostitute of the mind and, of course, that wind-up bird.

:35:14. > :35:18.I have never seen it, but I hear it all the time. It sounds like

:35:18. > :35:23.someone's winding the clock. My wife and I decided it's the bird

:35:23. > :35:32.that winds the spring of the universe. We named it the wind-up

:35:32. > :35:37.bird. So what happens when the bird stops winding? In 2004, Earnhart

:35:37. > :35:40.travelled to Japan to secure the rights to the novel. One of the

:35:40. > :35:47.things I really came away with from my time in Japan was this tension

:35:47. > :35:49.between the outward expression of Japanese people and the inner life.

:35:49. > :35:55.We in New York tend to express everything, you know, and we talk

:35:55. > :36:04.and talk and talk and talk, but there was a certain quietness and

:36:04. > :36:08.introspection in Japan that really intrigued me. What I felt that -

:36:09. > :36:12.Morikami's book was really getting at was that internal journal that

:36:12. > :36:16.Toru Okada, the main character, was going through, and so much of this

:36:16. > :36:21.was happening in his psyche and in his mind, and I wanted to represent

:36:21. > :36:27.that in a way that felt very Japanese to me, that it wasn't so

:36:27. > :36:32.much about using dialogue and using this long monologues and expression,

:36:32. > :36:37.it was more about, how can I possibly use all of these elements

:36:37. > :36:40.at my disposal to accurately portray this very internal journey

:36:40. > :36:47.that he's going through? You have been down there all day. Aren't you

:36:47. > :36:54.getting hungry? I have a sandwich in my backpack. How are you

:36:54. > :36:58.planning to get out of there? way I came down. And how did the

:36:58. > :37:01.author react when you told him this is what you were going to do?

:37:01. > :37:05.thought he would be very interested in having the play be originated

:37:05. > :37:10.and developed in jan, and it was the opposite. He said, "No, I want

:37:10. > :37:15.you to do it in America." I think he was intrigued about the

:37:15. > :37:18.uniqueness of what I was trying to do. It wasn't an ordinary

:37:18. > :37:27.adaptation. I think he was interested in the collision between

:37:27. > :37:33.Eastern and Western culture. (Speaking in Japanese)

:37:33. > :37:37.He has a Huge audience in the UK, kind of a cult readership, if you

:37:37. > :37:41.like. Hue do you think it had will go down in Edinburgh? It has always

:37:41. > :37:46.been this blessing and this curse of having this amazing book hanging

:37:46. > :37:50.over me with all of this immense amount of unbelievably beautiful

:37:50. > :37:54.material but feeling this pressure to make something that is as

:37:54. > :37:59.truthful and feels as good as that, so I'm hoping that people feel that

:37:59. > :38:04.we did do something that represents the book well but also gave it a

:38:04. > :38:07.completely unique adaptation. a perfect example of how post-war

:38:07. > :38:10.Japanese, especially Japanese men, have become plagued with the

:38:10. > :38:13.national resignation that's turned them into passive little sheep.

:38:13. > :38:17.LAUGHTER At a time when they should stand up

:38:17. > :38:22.and fight, they cower in the corner like little girls. I want people to

:38:22. > :38:26.leave the audience feeling like they had just been in the Morikami

:38:26. > :38:34.world for two hours. I feel like if we can do that, we have succeeded.

:38:34. > :38:37.I want more! I want more! And The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle chronicles

:38:37. > :38:43.in Edinburgh this Saturday at the King's Theatre. Next up, the

:38:43. > :38:46.darlings of the American comedy circuit, the variety duo Kurt

:38:46. > :38:52.Braunohler and Kristen Schaal. Together their combined talents

:38:52. > :38:57.include South Park and the Daily Show, but Kristen is better known

:38:57. > :39:00.as the Freaky Groupie in Flight of the Concordes. Together, they're in

:39:00. > :39:05.Edinburgh with a brand new show that changes every night. I met up

:39:05. > :39:07.with them to find out why variety is the spice of life. You guys,

:39:08. > :39:12.we're excited that you're here tonight because we have an amazing

:39:12. > :39:18.show for you. You said it, kurt. This show has everything. It has

:39:18. > :39:21.variety, variety, variety, variety, variety -

:39:21. > :39:25.LAUGHTER And you throw caution to the wind

:39:25. > :39:29.and you're doing a variety show. Are you nuts? We're wild. We're

:39:29. > :39:35.crazy! Tell me how you two met because it's an excellent double

:39:35. > :39:40.act. It really is. We met about six years ago at this place called the

:39:40. > :39:45.People's improv Theatre in New York City. When I said I wanted to start

:39:45. > :39:50.a variety show, the director said, "Kristen just asked me the same

:39:50. > :39:54.thing. "So I marched backstage. Yeah, you went backstage, and you

:39:54. > :40:01.just sat down, and you were like... Quite moody. Yeah. What did you

:40:01. > :40:07.think of that? As a first - as an introduction - the beckon is quite

:40:07. > :40:14.a hard... She ran. She ran like this - "What? What!" Oh, my God.

:40:14. > :40:18.You're talking to me. My favourite sketch you two do is with a

:40:18. > :40:22.ventriloquist dummy. It was hilarious, A, the physicality of

:40:22. > :40:26.you two being somehow connected, but it suddenly became really dark

:40:26. > :40:36.and twisted. Kristen, what do you think about this amazing audience,

:40:36. > :40:40.

:40:40. > :40:46.huh? I want to meet them. You can't meet

:40:46. > :40:50.all of these people, Kristen. I want to shake their hand. All right.

:40:50. > :41:00.You can shake one person's hand, OK? You, sir, will you just come

:41:00. > :41:06.

:41:06. > :41:10.here and shake her hand just to appease her? (I'm a real girl).

:41:10. > :41:18.(Help me. Help me.) So the elephant in the room is this

:41:18. > :41:22.mound of bandages. Was this part of a comic sketch or clumsiness...

:41:22. > :41:26.Isn't it hilarious I'll sacrifice my body for my comedy show? No, I

:41:26. > :41:31.was thinking, it's sunny out. Oh, my goodness! So I went for a run

:41:31. > :41:36.and went down a dirt path, and I guess I was running really fast...

:41:36. > :41:40.Also, she's very clumsy. When she falls, she use her knee to break

:41:40. > :41:45.her fall. She purposely puts it out there. For some reason my left knee

:41:45. > :41:49.is like, I'll save us, every time and bends and takes the fall. I was

:41:49. > :41:57.like Superman falling, and I just looked down a, and my knee was

:41:57. > :41:59.hanging open. I knew it was bad, and I was like,

:41:59. > :42:04.I have ruined a lot of things in our show.

:42:04. > :42:11.LAUGHTER Because we had a lot of physical

:42:11. > :42:20.comedy in it. I wonder where I should sit down. Should I sit on

:42:20. > :42:23.the chaise longue? No! Well, should I sit on the sofa? No! Well, I

:42:23. > :42:29.guess I'll just sit on the bed, then.

:42:29. > :42:35.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE (Flatulence)

:42:35. > :42:42.And finally, I have to ask, is your voice real? Mine is not because my

:42:42. > :42:46.voice is (High pitched) "Hey, can I get a drink of water." Is that how

:42:46. > :42:50.he normally... Yeah. But I have switched to this because it's more

:42:51. > :42:56.commercially acceptable. My voice is (Deep-pitched) More like this.

:42:56. > :43:03.But I think it's scary. We used to do the double act like this. That

:43:03. > :43:07.was our double act. Hi, I am Kurt. And I am Kristen. We used to be

:43:08. > :43:12.called squeezeky mouth and gravel voice. Look, it's been a joy. Best

:43:12. > :43:19.of luck with the variety show Hottub. Dude, you're great. Like-

:43:19. > :43:23.wise. Hot Tub is on until the 22nd of

:43:23. > :43:29.August in St George's Square. There is another side to this city which

:43:29. > :43:33.over the years has played host to many dastardly double acts, Burke

:43:33. > :43:43.and Hare, Jekyll and Hyde, Monsoon, and there are several productions

:43:43. > :43:56.

:43:56. > :44:05.this year that are taking advantage For a month a year a pageant of

:44:05. > :44:09.prove olity floats across Edinburgh, like a shimmering veil, a haunting

:44:09. > :44:16.spirit so thick you can almost smell it. Edinburgh's long history

:44:16. > :44:23.is all huddled up the hill. It piles up on itself all cluttered

:44:23. > :44:33.and claustrophobe ig. Layers and layers of it. Forgotten streets lay

:44:33. > :44:35.

:44:35. > :44:42.literally under your feet. There is something in the area that gets

:44:42. > :44:48.into the bones of the place. It is like mildew or damp. It is in

:44:48. > :44:54.everything here, ingrained into the texture and fabric of the place.

:44:54. > :45:04.The biblical rain, the big skies and sharp northern light. The

:45:04. > :45:08.

:45:08. > :45:14.castle set on its craggy volcanic rock. The gnarly stoned crowns on

:45:14. > :45:23.the churches, the blackened gothic sticks which punctuate the jaged

:45:23. > :45:27.skyline. It is a foreboding kind of grandeur and it is something that

:45:27. > :45:33.must facility interthe creative imagination like it does into

:45:33. > :45:41.everything else. Maybe that's why there are so many shows with dark

:45:41. > :45:45.subject matter on offer at the festival. The this theatre is the

:45:45. > :45:54.home of new writing in Scotland and included in its programme this year

:45:54. > :45:59.are plays about freak shows and cannibals. As well as this

:45:59. > :46:09.production about a psychotic piano maestro from site-specific company

:46:09. > :46:14.

:46:14. > :46:24.Grid Iron. There are lots of shows that use all the spooky places

:46:24. > :46:29.Edinburgh has to offer. This is the Anat my -- anatomy museum where

:46:29. > :46:39.Burke and Hare did all the body snatching. Apparently all the

:46:39. > :47:04.

:47:04. > :47:09.corpses are down stairs in the Future proof is the directorial

:47:09. > :47:15.swan song of Traverse's Dominic Hill. It tells the tale of a

:47:15. > :47:20.travelling freak show which has hit hard times. I guess when thinking

:47:20. > :47:26.about the programme what I really like is the fact that there are a

:47:26. > :47:33.lot of kind of good stories within it, quite dark stories, stories of

:47:33. > :47:37.circuses or cannibals or plagues. And there is I think a kind of

:47:37. > :47:40.theatricality which appeals to me as a theatre maker. And I think

:47:41. > :47:47.also appeals to the city of Edinburgh as well. I'm very aware

:47:47. > :47:50.that here we are sitting in a graveyard, that this is the city of

:47:50. > :48:00.Burke and Hare. There's a fantastic history to this city. I find it

:48:00. > :48:00.

:48:00. > :48:05.quite an inspiring city to work in. I went to see the final rehearsals

:48:06. > :48:15.for another Traverse show this year, a dance piece called Last Orders

:48:16. > :48:26.

:48:26. > :48:30.which reimagines and updates the I think there's a lot of room for

:48:30. > :48:36.ketch-up blood in something as gothic as Edinburgh. There is

:48:36. > :48:42.something genuinely upsetting about that piece. It very quickly became

:48:42. > :48:48.uncomfortable watching that. It was very much about breaking a lot of

:48:48. > :48:52.taboos, and the ultimate taboo of cannibalism, of eating people.

:48:52. > :48:59.Genuinely quite an uncomfortable thing to watch, but very powerful I

:48:59. > :49:04.thought. Edinburgh's Newtown was designed as

:49:04. > :49:09.an escape from the medieval warren up the hill. The elegant rational

:49:09. > :49:18.heart of the Scottish enlightenment, the Dr Jeck toil the old town's Mr

:49:18. > :49:25.Hide. -- the Dr Jekyll to the old town's Mr Hide. The Newtown itself

:49:25. > :49:29.also has plenty of dark stories to tell. Ghost city is a series of

:49:29. > :49:36.audio installations describing sex parlours, cemeteries and ghosts of

:49:36. > :49:41.the past. As you walk along the streets of the new town you are

:49:41. > :49:47.unaware of each other's presence, as how could you be when 150 years

:49:47. > :49:50.separates one from the other? But as the drug you've both taken dulls

:49:50. > :50:00.the boundaries between the real and the imagined, something begins to

:50:00. > :50:08.

:50:08. > :50:12.It is no surprise these shows find a home in Edinburgh. Drawn in line

:50:12. > :50:18.moths to a flickering candle. It's the perfect setting for these tales

:50:18. > :50:22.to play themselves out. Their poetencey only enhanced by the dark

:50:22. > :50:26.theatrical sense built of the city itself.

:50:26. > :50:31.Michael will be back next week when I will be getting limb to juggle

:50:31. > :50:37.with we are Wolves. Next up Ian Rankin is the UK's top-selling

:50:37. > :50:44.crime writer but he's got a bit of a thing about art. Sandy Nairn is a

:50:44. > :50:50.top UK museum director who has got a bit of a thing about crime.

:50:50. > :50:57.That's understandable as when his gallery lent �2 million of art to

:50:57. > :51:02.another gallery it was nicked. This is a really nice piece about Sandy

:51:02. > :51:09.Nairn's new book. An Italian painter decorator hides overnight

:51:09. > :51:13.in a up the board in the Louvre. He walks into the gallery, unhooks it

:51:13. > :51:18.and removes the panel from the outer frame, walks out of the front

:51:18. > :51:23.door of the gallery with the most famous painting in the world hidden

:51:23. > :51:29.under his coat. Nowadays the theft of the Mona Lisa in 1911 seems

:51:29. > :51:35.almost comic. The modern-day reality of art theft is much more

:51:35. > :51:39.sinister. Art theft nowadays is big business. Interpol reckons the

:51:39. > :51:41.trade in stolen art could be worth �3 billion a year and it's the

:51:41. > :51:44.fourth biggest illegal trade on the planet.

:51:44. > :51:47.As a writer of crime fiction, I've always been intrigued by the

:51:47. > :51:51.subject of art theft. To me, there's something quite sexy about

:51:51. > :51:53.the classic art heist. My own novel, Doors Open, concerns the theft of

:51:53. > :51:59.paintings from the storerooms of the National Gallery of Scotland

:51:59. > :52:08.here in Edinburgh. The art heist can be audacious. It can be clever,

:52:08. > :52:13.intricate, and it can almost be the perfect crime. Although my book was

:52:13. > :52:18.a work of fiction, art crime is a sad reality. It is estimated that

:52:18. > :52:22.over 10,000 works of art are stolen every year. The chances of

:52:22. > :52:28.recovering the works are very slim. On average nine out of ten pieces

:52:28. > :52:31.are never recovered. One man who has dealt with the fallout from art

:52:31. > :52:34.theft is museum director Sandy Nairn. During his time at the Tate,

:52:34. > :52:37.two of Turner's most famous paintings were stolen while on loan

:52:37. > :52:47.to a German gallery. The long struggle to recover the works is

:52:47. > :52:51.the subject of Nairn's new book. Why but write the book? When the

:52:51. > :52:55.Turners were stole no-one Frankfurt in 1994, I happened to be the

:52:55. > :53:00.person who ended up co-ordinating the recovery operations over the

:53:00. > :53:03.next eight-and-a-half years. I knew it was very unusual for a senior

:53:03. > :53:07.museum person to have been that closely involved. I thought there

:53:07. > :53:11.was something to tell that others might understand from it. But I

:53:11. > :53:14.then also wanted to get to the issues around art theft, the

:53:14. > :53:18.questions of value, the questions of myth, the motivations and the

:53:18. > :53:22.ethics. I felt those were important. A couple of the characters I really

:53:22. > :53:26.like in your book, they start off working for the Met and when they

:53:26. > :53:32.leave they were kept on as investigators weren't they? There

:53:32. > :53:39.was a particularly key pair of "Rocky" Rokoszynski and Mick

:53:39. > :53:45.Lawrence... Great names. I wish I had invented those names. Rocky was

:53:45. > :53:48.a great character. He did great work in the Met, mostly working in

:53:48. > :53:53.drug scams and gangstering businesses in Europe. We were lucky

:53:53. > :53:57.to get him. Was there a point where you thought these paintings are

:53:57. > :54:01.never coming back? It is hard to say. There were several points

:54:01. > :54:06.where I thought it was difficult. Four years after the theft we saw

:54:06. > :54:09.some very bad forgeries. Someone was trying to pass those on in

:54:09. > :54:12.Antwerp. There were five occasions in Germany when we were all set up

:54:12. > :54:16.potentially to be able to recover the second one and for various

:54:16. > :54:21.reasons we didn't. It must have been a huge sense of relief when

:54:21. > :54:25.you finally started to get these paintings back? A huge relief, a

:54:25. > :54:29.moment of joy. It was a strange moment, as I was still thinking,

:54:29. > :54:34.where are we going to put it, how do we get it back to England?, but

:54:34. > :54:37.no, it was incredible. This lying in front of us was the wonderful

:54:37. > :54:41.late Turner painting, Shade and Darkness - the Evening of the

:54:41. > :54:46.Deluge, probably now worth at least �18 million. Slowly, we started

:54:46. > :54:49.smiling and grinning at each other. At a certain moment, as all the

:54:49. > :54:52.consequences of getting this wrong loomed in my head, I asked Roy

:54:52. > :54:55.rather formally the question: "Roy, is this the genuine Turner

:54:55. > :55:05.painting?" After an extended pause, he said, "It's like meeting an old

:55:05. > :55:08.friend." I want to ask you, why do you think people steal these

:55:08. > :55:11.paintings? I think the financial thing is always there, and I think

:55:11. > :55:14.what we can see very notably, since the 1960s in particular, when we've

:55:14. > :55:17.got this incredible upward graph of the prices of the most notable

:55:17. > :55:24.pieces of art, whether they are ancient art or masters or whether

:55:24. > :55:34.they are now modern art or indeed contemporary. With it we see a

:55:34. > :55:35.

:55:35. > :55:40.great deal more attempts at high- value thefts.. I think one can be

:55:40. > :55:45.distinct about the high-value thefts than the regular stealing

:55:45. > :55:51.from houses. Can musiums ever be completely 100% secure? I guess not,

:55:51. > :55:56.if they are letting in the public. I think letting the public in has

:55:56. > :56:00.to be the priority, as well as the security of the paintings and works

:56:01. > :56:05.of art. With high-value items there'll always be criminals who

:56:05. > :56:09.think is there a way of overcoming this. The fact that the public,

:56:09. > :56:15.writers, fantastic makers down the years are fascinated by art heists.

:56:15. > :56:21.We are aren't we? A I'm not sure why. I should ask you, why but want

:56:21. > :56:26.to write Doors Open? Stkwhri wanted to write a history novel. I wanted

:56:26. > :56:31.to write a heist movie and I'm fascinated about art. I'm jealous.

:56:31. > :56:34.I wish I could paint but I can't. I can't even draw a stick man. When I

:56:34. > :56:41.was given the opportunity to write a book different from a detective

:56:41. > :56:46.story, there would be no murders in it, just the heist and the people

:56:46. > :56:50.involved. I've noticed that since the publication of Doors Open,

:56:51. > :56:55.curators follow me round galleries. I'm sure you can be trusted. They

:56:56. > :57:01.ought to think you know more about it and how difficult it when

:57:01. > :57:06.something is stolen what to do with it. That's why I haven't stolen it

:57:06. > :57:11.in real life. Join us at the same time next week. If you need more of

:57:11. > :57:15.a cultural fix, tune in at 11 o'clock tomorrow night to catch the

:57:15. > :57:22.Review Show. We leave new the capable hands of Arthur Smith, who

:57:22. > :57:29.has been relaxing this year with laughter yoga. This refreshs the