:00:16. > :00:18.Hello and welcome to The One Show with Matt Baker.
:00:19. > :00:22.Tonight we get a glimpse inside a building that's home
:00:23. > :00:26.to some of Britain's best brains -
:00:27. > :00:33.the top-secret surveillance centre GCHQ.
:00:34. > :00:36.The Government Communications Headquarters.
:00:37. > :00:39.With us in the studio are two men who are no slouches
:00:40. > :00:42.in the IQ department either, as they claim to be able to condense
:00:43. > :00:44.the entire universe into a single hour of television
:00:45. > :00:47.and make it funny, as well.
:00:48. > :00:53.Professor Brian Cox and comedian Noel Fielding.
:00:54. > :01:08.We have a scientist, Professor, and a comedian. You must have rubbed off
:01:09. > :01:26.a little working together on that project. There was a lot of robbing.
:01:27. > :01:33.-- rubbing I always wanted a space 1999 outfit. I had one made. That is
:01:34. > :01:39.the commander, space 1999 and those boots I managed to recycle. The
:01:40. > :01:53.irony is I am wearing those boots in real life. They are very nice.
:01:54. > :01:59.Silver boots. Material and jokes, has the comedy rubbed off? I have a
:02:00. > :02:05.geeky joke. Eisenberg driving along the motorway, policeman pulls over
:02:06. > :02:11.and says, do you know how fast you were going? He said no, but I know
:02:12. > :02:20.exactly where I am. That was the punch line. You did not know it had
:02:21. > :02:25.finished. It is true you need a degree in physics to get the joke!
:02:26. > :02:34.It was the cheeky wink at the end. The purpose was to educate the
:02:35. > :02:40.nation in an entertaining way. Noel, do you remember the show? The
:02:41. > :02:45.science stuff I was vague on. Often you try to explain things to us and
:02:46. > :02:50.that thing when you are at school, and use own out. You can hear your
:02:51. > :03:00.own internal monologue. Between takes it was E equals MC squared. I
:03:01. > :03:10.played Einstein. We have seen the clips. I had to write about on a
:03:11. > :03:17.bike. It goes faster than the speed of light! That was my catchphrase.
:03:18. > :03:20.The Government Communications Headquarters wants recruits with
:03:21. > :03:21.maths, languages and problem-solving skills.
:03:22. > :03:23.GCHQ is controversial as nobody really knows the extent
:03:24. > :03:25.of its ability to monitor phone and internet communications.
:03:26. > :03:28.But a law to regulate its activities is about to come in,
:03:29. > :03:45.so it's a good time for Nick Wallis to hand in his phone and go inside.
:03:46. > :03:52.GCHQ, the Government Communications Headquarters nestled in the sleepy
:03:53. > :03:56.market town of Cheltenham. Nicknamed the doughnut, the building houses
:03:57. > :04:02.the UK spy agency dedicated to keeping us safe through intelligence
:04:03. > :04:06.and information gathering. But it has been accused of illegal hacking
:04:07. > :04:11.and harnessing of data from our phones, e-mails, texts and social
:04:12. > :04:16.media accounts. What goes on in here? One of the most secret
:04:17. > :04:22.buildings in the world. Let's go in and look around. It is 7:30am, and
:04:23. > :04:28.agents will soon start to arrive for duty. They split across three
:04:29. > :04:33.blocks, connected by what is known as the street. It is here I will
:04:34. > :04:40.meet former analyst Tony. What was it like to be a spy? We never
:04:41. > :04:45.describe ourselves as spies. We work in intelligence and our job is to
:04:46. > :04:50.produce information about the intentions of hostile countries or
:04:51. > :04:54.terrorists. That means electronic surveillance. Last year in the wake
:04:55. > :05:00.of the Paris attacks and independent terror review found GCHQ's digital
:05:01. > :05:05.eavesdropping had foiled a terrorist plot in the final hours before a
:05:06. > :05:11.planned attack. The review of surveillance powers found GCHQ spied
:05:12. > :05:16.on around 1600 people'se-mails and internet used to identify
:05:17. > :05:21.extremists. What sort of people work at GCHQ? Famously we employ
:05:22. > :05:26.mathematicians and also linguists, people with an analytical frame of
:05:27. > :05:32.mind. And I guess and ability to keep secrets? It is an essential
:05:33. > :05:37.part of working here, yes. Tony's has analysed top-secret information
:05:38. > :05:42.for over 30 years. How has the business change? In some ways it has
:05:43. > :05:49.changed beyond recognition, but the fundamentals of what we do are the
:05:50. > :05:52.same as 100 years ago. Which is what? Looking at Communications of
:05:53. > :05:59.people who would do harm to the UK. Even though we have this unique
:06:00. > :06:03.access, we cannot show anyone's face and filming is tricky. Any computer
:06:04. > :06:08.screen could contain top-secret data. One of the analyst managers
:06:09. > :06:15.has agreed to speak to me, but only if we protect her identity. For the
:06:16. > :06:21.sake of this film we will call her Beth. What you do? We take technical
:06:22. > :06:27.data and turn it into something that can be used to arrest a suspect. The
:06:28. > :06:33.attack. If I knew what he knew, would I be more or less worried
:06:34. > :06:37.about the world than I am? A bit of both. More worried because you would
:06:38. > :06:42.know more about the threat and the things we face as a nation, and feel
:06:43. > :06:46.a bit safer because you know the tremendous people we have got inside
:06:47. > :06:50.this building trying to keep us safe from those threats. It probably
:06:51. > :06:56.evens out. I am not sure whether that is a relief! Even though they
:06:57. > :07:00.have sophisticated technology, there is one thing workers cannot use,
:07:01. > :07:05.personal mobile phones. They are banned from the building. That is
:07:06. > :07:09.something my friend struggled to get their heads around, there will be a
:07:10. > :07:14.block of eight, nine hours when I am not available. Do your friends call
:07:15. > :07:22.you a spook? LAUGHTER. Not consistently. GCHQ are looking
:07:23. > :07:26.to recruit the next generation of analysts and to attract a broader
:07:27. > :07:31.cross-section, six weeks ago they published a book of puzzles. Have I
:07:32. > :07:39.got what it takes to work here? Let's try this one. What follows the
:07:40. > :07:46.NI, Brussels, Prague, Copenhagen, Tallinn, Helsinki, Athens? Tony has
:07:47. > :07:51.to give me hints before I realise they are capital cities of Europe,
:07:52. > :08:01.they are countries listed in alphabetical order. Why can I not
:08:02. > :08:06.find a country beginning with H? Hungry. Budapest. It is a serious
:08:07. > :08:11.and controversial business and a new government act will give GCHQ
:08:12. > :08:18.ability to browse our internet records going back 12 months. Edward
:08:19. > :08:22.Snowden claims GCHQ has been harvesting this material illegally
:08:23. > :08:24.for years. Is that true? Tomorrow I will speak with one of the big
:08:25. > :08:30.bosses here to find out. In part two of Nick's report
:08:31. > :08:43.tomorrow, he challenges its deputy Now then, The Entire Universe, it is
:08:44. > :08:48.on on Boxing Day, on BBC Two. Apparently an idea dreamt up by you
:08:49. > :08:54.Brian and Eric idle, over a kite, always the best way. What does Eric
:08:55. > :09:02.Idle know about science? He has always been a fan. Remember the
:09:03. > :09:06.Galaxy songs. He said he gets so much internet and e-mails about the
:09:07. > :09:11.Galaxy Song because people say it is wrong. He said, you scientists is
:09:12. > :09:17.always change your mind as soon as you get new data. It grew from
:09:18. > :09:22.there. I said to him drunkenly something like, my whole career has
:09:23. > :09:26.been trying to explain science and being interrupted by TV people who
:09:27. > :09:31.use a stand on a mountain and point at the stars. The ultimate
:09:32. > :09:35.introduction would be a Broadway musical. Let's have a Broadway
:09:36. > :09:41.musical interruption while you try to talk about science. With that in
:09:42. > :09:48.mind, how would you describe this show? I think Brian is trying to put
:09:49. > :09:53.on a lecture and he does not know the musical is happening and dancers
:09:54. > :10:03.appear behind him. It is an insane show. A scientific Spamalot? It is a
:10:04. > :10:11.science musical. You just said to me in the break, you said, it is the
:10:12. > :10:15.weirdest thing I have seen! I have no idea what people will make of it.
:10:16. > :10:24.Coming from you, the weirdest thing you have ever seen! Let's challenge
:10:25. > :10:31.the audience right now with the weirdest thing you have ever seen.
:10:32. > :10:35.# Just remember that you are standing on a planet revolving at
:10:36. > :10:44.900 miles an hour. # That's orbiting so its reckons the
:10:45. > :10:46.sun is the source of all our power. # Bang bang bang went to the Big
:10:47. > :11:12.Bang. The Higgs Boson. That song, I wake
:11:13. > :11:17.up screaming in the middle of the night, it is going around, and when
:11:18. > :11:23.I am 100 I will be in a home, rocking backwards and forwards doing
:11:24. > :11:27.the Higgs Boson song. It is the story of the universe from slightly
:11:28. > :11:31.before the Big Bang until the present-day condensed into one hour
:11:32. > :11:35.interrupted by a West End musical with Noel as the Higgs Boson,
:11:36. > :11:43.Einstein and what else due play? An old lady at one point. I got to play
:11:44. > :11:47.a sort of Monty Python old lady which was amazing. Warwick is the
:11:48. > :11:55.Big Bang. He was amazing. The Bee Gees. We have three photographs and
:11:56. > :12:03.we would like you to tell us what is going on. This is Warwick as part of
:12:04. > :12:09.the Bee Gees line-up. Warwick was amazing to work with. He was so
:12:10. > :12:16.cool. That is Hannah, who opened Spamalot on Broadway and in the West
:12:17. > :12:21.End. An incredible voice. How do the Bee Gees fitting? They do a song
:12:22. > :12:29.about gravity. # Gravity! We had to do a song in
:12:30. > :12:36.very tight trousers but luckily we had amazing dancers. Arlene Phillips
:12:37. > :12:39.did the choreography. They are, now you mention it, incredibly tight,
:12:40. > :12:48.those trousers. It made it easier to sing. The next one, there you are as
:12:49. > :12:54.Einstein. I was quite into that costume. I think Warwick was playing
:12:55. > :13:01.Pluto. It is not a planet any more. It is very sad. He has been demoted.
:13:02. > :13:06.We could not understand this. The Royal family in an alternative
:13:07. > :13:19.universe? As fish. In this universe they are fish. What we do? I think I
:13:20. > :13:25.was a camel in a poncho. Why? You have to watch to find out. In an
:13:26. > :13:29.infinite universe with different possibilities, it illustrates every
:13:30. > :13:32.possibility could happen. There could be a universe with the Royal
:13:33. > :13:37.family as fish. People will watch this on Boxing Day and assume they
:13:38. > :13:42.have had too much sherry. You should have some sherry and get involved.
:13:43. > :13:49.How much of it is hard science fact and how much of it was you winding
:13:50. > :14:00.up Brian? You have a bit of a go, horoscopes, Scientology. I called
:14:01. > :14:06.you Spock. Eric said, I want you to basically, if you can, try to put
:14:07. > :14:10.Brian off the lecture. We will get everything he hates out. We will
:14:11. > :14:17.talk about Scientology. All of his bugbears. In the lecture, we do
:14:18. > :14:23.actually tell the story of the universe as we know it with all the
:14:24. > :14:31.factss. It is the story of the universe interrupted. You can see
:14:32. > :14:37.The Entire Universe on BBC Two on Boxing Day at 9:30pm. It is funny.
:14:38. > :14:39.Some weird goings-on have been spotted by BBC
:14:40. > :14:48."Hair ice" sent in by Lisa from Nairn in Scotland.
:14:49. > :14:53.Highly unusual "fog dome" captured by Hannah in Wales.
:14:54. > :14:55.But there's one phenomenon so rare, you'll probably never
:14:56. > :15:05.That's as long as it doesn't escape Marty's lab.
:15:06. > :15:14.Tornadoes, their power, speed and force can cause destruction wherever
:15:15. > :15:20.they go. But there is a certain type of tornado that fascinates me the
:15:21. > :15:27.most. They are rare, but deadly. They are known as fire tornadoes.
:15:28. > :15:36.They're a dangerous combination of powerful winds and intense fire.
:15:37. > :15:41.With wind speeds reaching 200mph, they can sore as high -- soar as
:15:42. > :15:45.high as 400 feet and reach temperatures of 1,000 degrees. To
:15:46. > :15:51.understand how the fire tornado forms, I'm going to whip up my very
:15:52. > :15:59.own in a warehouse. First, I need to create a small forest fire in this
:16:00. > :16:04.dish. What's happening here is the fire is creating hot air and the hot
:16:05. > :16:12.air is rising up. As it rises up, it draws air in at the sides. If I use
:16:13. > :16:19.my smoke pen here, if I hold it down here, you can see the smoke is being
:16:20. > :16:23.drawn in and up really quickly. My little forest fire here isn't big
:16:24. > :16:35.enough to create a vortex of air, so I'm going to give it a helping hand
:16:36. > :16:41.using this metal gauze. And my old record turn table. When I turn it on
:16:42. > :16:46.the updraft of air is twisted as it goes in through the Metal gauze and
:16:47. > :16:54.you get the burning of a fire tornado. Look at that! The vast heat
:16:55. > :17:01.created by wildfires causes the air to rise extremely quickly. This
:17:02. > :17:05.updrafting air gets so strong, it can spoon tansly begin --
:17:06. > :17:10.spontaneously begin to rotate, creating a vortex of fire. I can
:17:11. > :17:15.make a small-scale one, but can I come close to producing the
:17:16. > :17:20.formidable power of a fire tornado? If I'm going to want to make a real
:17:21. > :17:25.flame tornado, I will need something more than just a small bowl of fire
:17:26. > :17:31.and a turn table. I'm going to need to scale things up a little bit. So
:17:32. > :17:37.I've got ten powerful fans and a drum of fuel. Max, do you want to
:17:38. > :17:41.light the fuel? I'm going to come over here. All I need to do is turn
:17:42. > :17:57.on the fans here. Here we go. It's looking good. Just a little
:17:58. > :17:58.tweak of the fans to adjust the wind direction and create that swirling
:17:59. > :18:19.effect. Look at that! It's really quite hypnotically
:18:20. > :18:23.beautiful. At the same time, it's terrifying, because you can feel the
:18:24. > :18:28.heat. It's a ten-foot tall pillar of flame. That's why I'm quite glad you
:18:29. > :18:34.don't see these very off the anyone nature. -- very often in nature.
:18:35. > :18:40.However tempting it feels do not try it at home. You're tempted. Don't
:18:41. > :18:44.try it. I know. We got talking there about tornadoes on Mars. Yeah, there
:18:45. > :18:51.are dust devils, rotating storms. It's a tenuous atmosphere. We've
:18:52. > :18:55.seen the sand being whipped up... Dust devils, you've made that up
:18:56. > :19:01.surely. No in the midwest they call them that. Do you talk about them in
:19:02. > :19:06.Professor Brian Cox live? That's a very smooth link! Isn't it, thanks.
:19:07. > :19:17.I've just finished this big tour. All across the country, talking
:19:18. > :19:23.really about cosmology. Arena, Noel. In May, Wembley. We finished
:19:24. > :19:29.Hammersmith Friday night. That's the place Bowie finished. You should
:19:30. > :19:34.have worn your outfit. I was thinking that, the Space 1999
:19:35. > :19:38.outfit. How theatrical is it and how much is it like one of your
:19:39. > :19:43.lectures? We have a huge screen. The thing about astronomy, we have
:19:44. > :19:49.spectacular images. They're the way we know these things. There are two
:19:50. > :19:56.trillion galaxies in the observable universe. How do we know? We say the
:19:57. > :20:00.universe is 13. 8 billion years old. How do we know? It's a big screen
:20:01. > :20:04.and a bit a lecture. It's the only gig you see where you actually take
:20:05. > :20:10.notes. People said, that it's great to see on Twitter coming out going,
:20:11. > :20:16."I don't know what to think any more." We're infinitily tiny on this
:20:17. > :20:19.tiny but also incredibly valuable. That's what I try get across.
:20:20. > :20:25.There's no answer to that. How do you fit those two things? It's so
:20:26. > :20:29.tiny, a speck of dust, but incredibly valuable as civilisation.
:20:30. > :20:34.It's really popular, because you've actually broken a world record.
:20:35. > :20:41.Yeah. For the most tickets ever sold for a scientific event. There has
:20:42. > :20:46.only been one scientific event! There we go. I was presented from
:20:47. > :20:51.the Guinness Book of Records, a remarkable thing. 75,000 people came
:20:52. > :20:55.to the tour. Are you going to be in the Guinness Book of Records. For
:20:56. > :20:59.this Christmas, look. We've extended it into May for which tickets are
:21:00. > :21:07.still available - can I say that? Another record. I want to see it. I
:21:08. > :21:15.haven't seen it yet. He can spare one for you. You can answer all the
:21:16. > :21:23.questions about the Higgs Bosun. Now then, if you watched Planet Earth II
:21:24. > :21:28.last night, I'm sure you will see how they capture those incredible
:21:29. > :21:33.moments. Sir David Attenborough is with us on Friday, but Mike has met
:21:34. > :21:39.an avid twitcher with some clever tricks of his own
:21:40. > :21:42.It feels like a scene from the Great Escape. You wouldn't have thought
:21:43. > :21:49.the best place to see birds was through a tunnel. This is a bird
:21:50. > :21:54.encounter with a difference. All right, Robert. All right, Michael.
:21:55. > :21:59.The One Show has been to your house a number of times. I know the
:22:00. > :22:03.amazing lengths you go to film and photograph wildlife, but this takes
:22:04. > :22:08.the biscuit When there's good action out here, I had an idea and I crept
:22:09. > :22:12.from the house. Occasionally I was spotted by the birds out there. Then
:22:13. > :22:15.would have another long wait. When something really interesting is
:22:16. > :22:19.happening out there, I can come through the tunnel and photograph
:22:20. > :22:24.and film the wildlife undetected. The subterranean technique. The
:22:25. > :22:29.tunnel took a month and thousands of pounds to construct. Wildlife artist
:22:30. > :22:33.Robert Fuller comes up with many inventive way to get close to
:22:34. > :22:37.animals to inspire his art work. The tunnel isn't the only trick up his
:22:38. > :22:41.sleeve. He's built bird tables with a difference, as well as garden
:22:42. > :22:45.birds, he leaves food out for surprising visitors. We've got
:22:46. > :22:50.kestrels and owls that feed here. It's an interesting mix of animals.
:22:51. > :22:54.The kestrels and owls come onto the bird table? Yeah, they do, yeah.
:22:55. > :22:58.This is something I've never seen. As we watch the usual garden birds
:22:59. > :23:06.feeding, suddenly they all disappear. Something bigger arrives
:23:07. > :23:11.for lunch. That's lovely, look at that. That is a kes receipt sitting
:23:12. > :23:16.on a bird table. I never thought I'd say that. It's a bird that hovers on
:23:17. > :23:21.motorway verges, it doesn't come down and eat carrion. Well, it does
:23:22. > :23:25.at your house! They're clever little birds, taking the opportunity of
:23:26. > :23:29.getting the food. They will come down and take carrion. Is there a
:23:30. > :23:33.worry about supplementary feeding? You want the birds to be able to
:23:34. > :23:36.find their own foods naturally as well We're supplementing normal
:23:37. > :23:41.garden birds throughout the country, what's the difference? It's a bigger
:23:42. > :23:45.bird and it eats meat, there's no difference to me. There seems to be
:23:46. > :23:51.an uneasy alliance between the smaller and bigger birds. But the
:23:52. > :23:56.real argy-bargy is caused by two rival kestrel nests. They're almost
:23:57. > :24:00.like drawing pistols. They go in with their tallons. Oh, it's a
:24:01. > :24:05.kicking match. They're like teariers, straight into action. Two
:24:06. > :24:10.nests, one male, two females. Just added an extra element into the mix
:24:11. > :24:13.this year. The females have been fighting this summer. Now that
:24:14. > :24:20.female is fighting with the chicks that have fledgeled. That coat cell
:24:21. > :24:25.behaviour was -- kestrel behaviour was nonstop action. Now it's time
:24:26. > :24:30.for the night shift. Every evening, Robert puts more food out to attract
:24:31. > :24:35.a family of tawny owls to come to the table. The bird tables in front
:24:36. > :24:40.of us are illuminated because Robert has been slowly getting the owls
:24:41. > :24:44.acclimatised to feeding in the light. We can't have any lights
:24:45. > :24:48.inside the hide. If the birds see us, they won't come anywhere near.
:24:49. > :24:56.That's why we're filming in infrared and you're looking at us in black
:24:57. > :25:01.and white. After 20 minutes of quietly waiting, look who-who's come
:25:02. > :25:06.to dinner. The chicks are five metres away, in full light. How many
:25:07. > :25:13.youngsters have you got in the nest? Naturally they had three of their
:25:14. > :25:17.own chicks. We've surrogated four. To get the owls to this point, so
:25:18. > :25:23.close to the hide has taken real perseverance. I start feeding them
:25:24. > :25:27.down in the trees on a table, which is a mobile table. That table then
:25:28. > :25:33.moves up here, ten metres a day, until we have them a few metres
:25:34. > :25:40.outside the hide. We've now got six tawny owls in one shot. Quality and
:25:41. > :25:47.quantity. Giving Robert inspiration for his latest picture. Using a
:25:48. > :25:51.combination of patience, skill and field craft, Robert's turned his
:25:52. > :25:56.back garden into a restaurant for a whole variety of birds and with
:25:57. > :26:06.kestrels by day and tawny owls by night, this is a 24-hour diner.
:26:07. > :26:09.Well, special with the tawny owls. But the kestrels! Digging a tunnel
:26:10. > :26:14.was extreme, but worth it. Fantastic. You're very into art as
:26:15. > :26:24.well. We have a piece of work here. This is Bats in a Tree, yes? They're
:26:25. > :26:28.Bryan Ferry bats. How do you like interpreting wildlife. I had an
:26:29. > :26:34.exhibition at the Royal Albert Hall, the water colours. The I like
:26:35. > :26:39.animals. A lot of the comedy characters that me and Julian did
:26:40. > :26:44.were often half animal. Do you spend quite a bit of time painting? Yeah,
:26:45. > :26:50.it kind of relaxes me. Comedy is crazy and it's stressful. Painting
:26:51. > :26:55.is like meditation. You zone out for hours I know how you feel. I'm the
:26:56. > :27:03.same. You paint as well. Yeah, I do. We're dog a bit of comedy-ish now.
:27:04. > :27:07.Never Mind The Buzzcocks you were a team captain. This is the intro
:27:08. > :27:12.round. You sing the intro and the other person guesses the song. We're
:27:13. > :27:19.going to swap, because I won't put you through this. I'll do the intro.
:27:20. > :27:27.You help us team if we get stuck. These are our stars These songs are
:27:28. > :27:31.science related-ish. Are we ready for the first one? I
:27:32. > :27:46.can't remember the first one. Atmospheric. I'll provide the vibe.
:27:47. > :27:54.# Turn around... Yes! He's good. It was the movement that you were
:27:55. > :28:04.doing. Go on then. You start this.
:28:05. > :28:31.The third one. You turned it into George Formby. Cleaning windows.
:28:32. > :28:46.I've got it! It's the final... Count down! Yes. Pop trivia, my band
:28:47. > :28:51.supported Europe. We supported them for 58 shows in 1989. Oh, my
:28:52. > :28:56.goodness. We've got to go home now. That was quick. Tomorrow we have Ian
:28:57. > :29:00.Hislop here. See you later. Bye.