:00:23. > :00:28.Hello and welcome to the One Show with Matt Baker and Alex Jones. How
:00:28. > :00:35.do you like the set? Look at it. We have gone all Christmassy. How
:00:35. > :00:39.about that. As a lot of you woke up to fog, we've added some. Now,
:00:39. > :00:49.joining us tonight are two beacons of elegance, diggity and grace for
:00:49. > :00:50.
:00:50. > :00:56.women everywhere. Are you OK? stopped over last night, Alan. He
:00:56. > :00:59.was going to sleep in the spare bedroom but...
:00:59. > :01:09.LAUGHTER I don't know, one thing led to
:01:09. > :01:11.
:01:12. > :01:20.another. And we shared the same bed. OK. It's Anne Reid and Miranda Hart.
:01:20. > :01:23.The fog has cleared, so we can see now. Hilarious. What is more
:01:23. > :01:28.embarrassing, getting soaked by a fountain or talking to your mum
:01:28. > :01:33.about your love life? Probably and weirdly the latter. I think so too.
:01:33. > :01:43.I'm with you. I would rather be getting soaked by a fountain than
:01:43. > :01:44.
:01:44. > :01:49.talk to my mum about everything very personal! Speaking of which -
:01:49. > :01:52.there is a survey, but that over 65-year-olds are concerned about
:01:52. > :01:56.what younger members of their family if they strike up a
:01:56. > :02:05.relationship. I'll do what I want to do. I don't think my son would
:02:05. > :02:07.mind at all. I couldn't possibly be bothered, but I...
:02:07. > :02:12.LAUGHTER All that ironing shirts. It's
:02:12. > :02:17.somebody to go out with, but I don't have to cook for somebody or
:02:17. > :02:23.consult somebody every day about are we going to do this. High five
:02:23. > :02:29.me Anne Reid. Don't leave me hanging. Thank you! It was nearly
:02:29. > :02:34.an awkward moment! In one moment we'll be honouring Miranda with
:02:34. > :02:39.some impressions of her. We are. Don't panic. It's all right. But
:02:39. > :02:47.Anne, so you don't feel left out, we have a clip of you with James
:02:47. > :02:51.Bond. We've all done that! first... No, you haven't. No, I
:02:51. > :02:57.haven't. Firstly, we would like to say hello to this person. That's
:02:57. > :03:02.Jessica there. Hello there. Hello. Jessica, before we explain why
:03:02. > :03:07.you're celebrating today. Let us all know why it is such a special
:03:07. > :03:11.date today. Well, it's the 12th day of the 12th more 2012 and it's my
:03:11. > :03:17.birthday. APPLAUSE
:03:17. > :03:22.Hang on, hang on. Jessica, how old are you? I'm 12 today.
:03:22. > :03:31.APPLAUSE Have you had lots of lovely
:03:31. > :03:36.presents, Jessica? Yes. Like what? I've got a mobile phone, toiletries,
:03:36. > :03:41.make-up, clothes and some money. Good. All the girlie essentials. I
:03:41. > :03:49.think your mum has an extra present for you. Is mum around to bring it?
:03:49. > :03:53.Yes. Here he comes. It's a One Show cake. You can't see it very well,
:03:53. > :04:00.but there you are. Isn't it lovely. You can blow out the candles and
:04:00. > :04:06.make I wish if you like. APPLAUSE
:04:06. > :04:09.Many happy returns. Have a very, very happy birthday. Lovely. We
:04:09. > :04:15.would like to set ourselves a challenge to find another eleven
:04:15. > :04:21.people who happen to be 12 today on 12th of the 12th of the 12. E-mail
:04:21. > :04:27.us a picture and we'll wish you a happy birthday later on. It's my
:04:27. > :04:33.grandson's birthday. He's only four. That's double. Nearly there. Right,
:04:33. > :04:39.first, there was the mis-selling of endowment mortgages and then dodgy
:04:39. > :04:46.PPI policies and now Miranda, CPP. Now, last time you were on and I
:04:46. > :04:51.quote, you said, "I don't want to let womankind down when people
:04:51. > :04:58.start talking about ISA. I think they're talking about biscuits." So
:04:58. > :05:02.here you are. We have got you some. Enjoy nibbling while you watch the
:05:02. > :05:07.film. You may never have heard of them,
:05:07. > :05:11.but for six years card protection plan limit sold insurance against
:05:11. > :05:17.ID fraud and the loss of bank cards to more than four million of us,
:05:17. > :05:23.making hundreds of millions of pounds in the process. But now, the
:05:23. > :05:29.Financial Services Authority has fined the company �10.5 million.
:05:29. > :05:32.The FSA say many of those insurance policies were miss-sold and that
:05:32. > :05:38.card protection plan limited duped people to buy products they didn't
:05:38. > :05:45.want or need. CPP's card protection insurance would set you back around
:05:45. > :05:49.�35 a year. It promised to pay out up to �100,000 if you had money
:05:49. > :05:55.stolen from your bank or storecards, but here's the catch - many
:05:55. > :06:00.customers didn't really need it. your bank card is stolen and there
:06:00. > :06:04.is a fraud you don't have to pay the money bank. It's the bank
:06:04. > :06:12.that's responsible. There was very little chance of anybody claiming.
:06:12. > :06:15.How much money were CPP making? They made �354 million. That's a
:06:15. > :06:20.lot of money from two products that basically they shouldn't have been
:06:20. > :06:24.selling in the first place. In the six years from January 2005, CPP
:06:25. > :06:29.sold and renewed more than 23 million policies. So how did they
:06:29. > :06:34.do it? Well, most of the new policies were sold as a result of
:06:34. > :06:40.partnerships with some of the UK's biggest banks, including Barclays,
:06:40. > :06:44.RBS, Santander and HSBC. When some of the banks sent out new credit
:06:44. > :06:50.cards there was often a sticker on the front with a telephone number
:06:50. > :06:53.on it for the card to be activated. But, if you rang the number you
:06:53. > :06:56.were put through to a CPP salesman who would try to sell you an
:06:56. > :07:04.insurance policy for something you were already covered for by your
:07:04. > :07:09.bank. And, if you took out a policy, the bank got a commission. Back in
:07:09. > :07:17.2002, Gemma, from Wakefield, was called by CPP offering her
:07:17. > :07:24.insurance to cover her bank and stores can cards. -- storcards.
:07:24. > :07:28.They immediate -- storecards and they made it seem easy. In 2005,
:07:28. > :07:33.she was called again by CPP, this time trying to sell her what he
:07:33. > :07:36.called an ID protection policy, offering a fraud detection service
:07:36. > :07:40.and insurance to cover legal fees and loss of earnings. It wasn't
:07:40. > :07:43.something I needed. I didn't think it would happen to me, then he
:07:43. > :07:46.started with the thing, what happens if you were a victim and
:07:46. > :07:51.what would I do. I couldn't say anything, because I really hadn't a
:07:51. > :07:55.clue what would I do. Gemma, did you not feel you could just say no?
:07:55. > :08:02.No. He was very, very persistent. In the end I caved if just to get
:08:02. > :08:06.him off the phone. -- in just to get him off the phone. Hello.
:08:06. > :08:10.Financial Services Authority found customers like Gemma were quoted
:08:10. > :08:14.some dubious statistics. CPP staff were told to say that one in five
:08:15. > :08:21.of us will be a victim of ID crime by the end of the year and one
:08:21. > :08:25.sales agent referred to a 40% increase in identity theft. I feel
:08:25. > :08:32.like I've paid for something which I didn't want and had to pay for
:08:32. > :08:35.the exact same thing again. I feel it's a bit tough. Gemma paid CPP
:08:35. > :08:39.close to �440 for the two policies and now he wants to know if she's
:08:39. > :08:44.one of the millions of people that the FSA believes are victims of
:08:44. > :08:50.mis-selling. The Financial Services Authority said, not to put foo fine
:08:50. > :08:53.a point on it, that the sales people lied and misused statistics,
:08:53. > :08:57.they misdescribed the product and exaggerated the benefits and they
:08:57. > :09:02.told people they were much more likely to suffer from ID theft than
:09:02. > :09:06.they were. As well as being handed that hefty fine, CPP is now banned
:09:06. > :09:11.from selling any more of those insurance products. Although, they
:09:11. > :09:15.can invite customers to renew existing policies. CPP told the One
:09:15. > :09:20.Show it recognised that it had a great deal to do to rebuild its
:09:20. > :09:25.reputation and to regain the trust of the customers. It said it was
:09:25. > :09:29.deeply sorry for what happened and the mistakes that were made. Well,
:09:29. > :09:37.Jonathan is here now. Welcome to what we are calling our snofa.
:09:38. > :09:42.Lovely. I like that. Anne was just saying there that she has credit
:09:42. > :09:47.card protection. What should people do if they have ID protection or
:09:47. > :09:51.that insurance with CPP? Well, it may well be a case of belt and
:09:51. > :09:54.braces, because what CPP have done with a lot of people is effectively
:09:54. > :09:59.sold them a very expensive pair of braces when they are already
:09:59. > :10:07.wearing a belt. The fact is that they have miss-sold an awful lot of
:10:07. > :10:11.policies and if you have been miss- sold a policy you will get a -- an
:10:11. > :10:15.e-mail in January. If something happens you will get one saying you
:10:15. > :10:20.can claim and then it could be a few hundred quid or even more.
:10:20. > :10:24.You'll find out soon. If people like Anne, people are dropping
:10:24. > :10:27.things over there, think they have been miss-sold ID protection and
:10:28. > :10:31.insurance, how can they prove it? It's very difficult, but there are
:10:31. > :10:35.three things. Try to remember in the phone call. If you were put
:10:35. > :10:42.under pressure or quoted things like, ", one in five people have
:10:42. > :10:46.been the victim of ID fraud." That's a mazive exaggeration, so --
:10:46. > :10:51.massive exaggeration, so that is a clue. Crucially, if you put in a
:10:51. > :10:57.claim and it's turned down by CPP you can say to them, "I want a
:10:57. > :11:02.recording of that phone call." It may cost you between �5 or �10. You
:11:02. > :11:05.may have a case. There you are Anne. I'm not sure it's the same thing.
:11:05. > :11:09.Wait for January. It's worth checking. If people are shopping
:11:09. > :11:12.around for insurance, what should they keep their eyes open for?
:11:12. > :11:16.it's interesting this thing about being already covered. I recently
:11:16. > :11:19.wanted to take out holiday insurance. I checked on my bank
:11:19. > :11:25.statements and realised I already had holiday insurance as a bolt-on
:11:25. > :11:30.to the bank statements, so I didn't need it. Also, there are the family
:11:30. > :11:36.heirloom things and are really paying attention? Yes. Where people
:11:36. > :11:45.say, "Should I pay a grand to have my grandmother's jewellery
:11:45. > :11:49.insured?" it's probably irreplaceable any way. So why spend
:11:49. > :11:54.the money? Always shop around. I was quoted �1,000 for house
:11:54. > :11:57.insurance. Went online and got a quote for �200. The difference can
:11:58. > :12:00.be that much. You worry with the computers that you are thinking
:12:00. > :12:08.someone is telling you there is ID fraud and you will have the
:12:08. > :12:12.insurance for that. It's very easy to go along. This company, CPP, in
:12:13. > :12:16.the report, they made �354 million gross profit selling these
:12:16. > :12:20.insurance policies and as I say, a lot of people already had the belt,
:12:20. > :12:26.so didn't need the braces. Have we got time? What do you do about the
:12:26. > :12:36.people who ring you up all the time and ask if you've had an accident
:12:36. > :12:41.and I think which one? I'm fine, goodbye. Whatever you do, do not
:12:41. > :12:45.reply, because what happens is if you reply then they will sell your
:12:45. > :12:49.details on to someone often for up to �7.50 a time and you'll carry on
:12:49. > :12:54.getting the calls. If you reply they will know you're live. I get
:12:55. > :13:03.them all the time. Thank you. Good advice. Thank you very much indeed.
:13:03. > :13:08.Miranda, we know you're an expert is physical comedy. -- on is
:13:08. > :13:18.physical comedy. You have turned falling into a bit of an artform.
:13:18. > :13:19.
:13:19. > :13:28.as a smooth operator. LAUGHTER
:13:28. > :13:29.I wish the ground would swallow me LAUGHTER
:13:29. > :13:35.Hello! APPLAUSE
:13:35. > :13:35.APPLAUSE We
:13:35. > :13:36.We have
:13:36. > :13:36.We have established
:13:36. > :13:39.We have established that
:13:39. > :13:42.We have established that you're a bit of an expert faller overer, if
:13:43. > :13:48.there's such a thing. What we were wondering is whether your skills
:13:48. > :13:53.can be passed on to the next generation of actors. Standing by
:13:53. > :13:59.are three students from the very same drama school that you trained
:13:59. > :14:03.at and each will attempt to recreate a Miranda fall from a past
:14:03. > :14:09.episode. First up, we have Ben. Hello. Now then, this is your
:14:09. > :14:19.Miranda fall. Look at this. doesn't mean I can't be feminine.
:14:19. > :14:24.
:14:24. > :14:26.Look at that. Working it. It's all about the recovery, isn't it?
:14:26. > :14:32.APPLAUSE It's all about the recovery. This
:14:32. > :14:41.is Ben. Obviously because of health and safety he's got a helmet and he
:14:41. > :14:47.has a boiler suit. Good luck with this. Thank you. There's the first
:14:47. > :14:54.bit. All all about the recovery, isn't it? Here it comes.
:14:54. > :15:00.APPLAUSE We can have another look at that
:15:00. > :15:05.now, while you give a critique over it. Here we are. There he goes.
:15:05. > :15:09.Lovely. It's quite male model to start with. I like the squishing of
:15:09. > :15:18.the coat. Because I can see, I can tell the viewers that I can see a
:15:18. > :15:23.crash mat. I didn't have one, thank you! I'm meant to be critiquing him,
:15:23. > :15:33.not showing off. Now, back to me. More later on. Well done, Ben.
:15:33. > :15:34.
:15:34. > :15:42.We had to learn to fall down in classes, with Miss Phillips. I can
:15:42. > :15:46.still do it. Not now. No, but in a Victoria Wood show, Mr Wright, the
:15:46. > :15:51.very first one I ever did, somebody pulled a chair out and I had to
:15:51. > :15:57.fall on the floor and it was the editing which made it so funny and
:15:57. > :16:02.it still makes me laugh. I have had to fall down in a play at the
:16:02. > :16:07.National Theatre. Not too long ago, I can't remember how long, maybe
:16:08. > :16:12.two years, I was in Shameless and I had to have a fight with somebody
:16:12. > :16:21.and I had to fall down on the floor and I said I did not need a stunt
:16:21. > :16:26.woman, I do my own fall it! She knocked me over and I fell down and
:16:26. > :16:33.nearly knocked myself out! I thought, I think we are too old to
:16:33. > :16:38.do this now! We might find a spare helmet, Anne! I can't believe you
:16:39. > :16:44.had classes in falling over at Rada us. That is the scoot. You have to
:16:44. > :16:50.relax. You are a natural. You must have
:16:50. > :16:53.done much falling over in the lead- up to Christmas because you on TV a
:16:53. > :16:58.lot. You're right there on Christmas Day in Call the Midwife
:16:58. > :17:02.and series three of Miranda on Boxing Day. Do you feel nervous?
:17:02. > :17:06.Very nervous actually. You have spent seven months writing it and
:17:06. > :17:12.then we perform it and we do it in front of a live audience so we get
:17:12. > :17:19.some feedback, but it is still letting go of your baby. You don't
:17:19. > :17:24.want it to be on almost. Will you watch it? Or will you play a board
:17:24. > :17:29.game or something? I am not very good at sitting watching myself. It
:17:29. > :17:35.is a privilege to be on the TV at Christmas. It is a dream come true.
:17:35. > :17:39.But it has slightly ruined Christmas telly for me! Seeing as
:17:39. > :17:49.you can't watch it, the whole episode, have a look at a little
:17:49. > :17:55.
:17:55. > :18:04.That his sexual, I am not doing that. When in Rome. Hello, I am
:18:04. > :18:09.gymnastics level two. What else can we look forward to it
:18:09. > :18:17.in a new series? I think she is wonderful. That means a lot coming
:18:17. > :18:23.from you. Ask my friends, I am a huge fan. Stop it! Give us an idea
:18:23. > :18:29.of what Anne can look forward to. There is some kissing. I am not
:18:29. > :18:35.saying anything more than that. There is a couple of celebrity
:18:35. > :18:44.cameos, that is exciting. The can you give us a clue? We were trying
:18:44. > :18:48.to keep it secret but it got out. Gary Barlow. Lucky you! Said
:18:48. > :18:58.Miranda has a new gallery in her life? I had not thought of it like
:18:58. > :19:00.
:19:00. > :19:05.that. And Raymond Blanc was in it. Is he working in the pub? No.
:19:05. > :19:10.It is more of a general story, it feels a bit different, there is
:19:10. > :19:16.more characters, a couple of new characters, yeah. The first two
:19:16. > :19:26.episodes set it up quite slowly. is quite monumental because it will
:19:26. > :19:28.
:19:28. > :19:31.be the last sitcom to be filmed in studio 8 or TC8. Yes, it is the
:19:31. > :19:38.famous sitcom studio and I had a little weep actually when it
:19:38. > :19:42.stopped. In it is true! It was my dream to get into comedy since I
:19:42. > :19:48.could remember so I could not believe I was in that studio, all
:19:48. > :19:55.of my heroes, absolutely fabulous, Blackadder, Morecambe and Wise, all
:19:55. > :19:59.of the greats. But you were not on your own weeping. I spent a lot of
:19:59. > :20:03.time in there myself with Blue Peter and last night I was
:20:04. > :20:09.wandering around. I was there for eight years. I just wandered around
:20:09. > :20:15.last night and thought, it is gone. The Philip Schofield wants to steal
:20:15. > :20:25.the signs from studious six so if you want to come and join us... --
:20:25. > :20:26.
:20:26. > :20:34.studio six. Anyway! Also, your book. This is my wife's copy actually. It
:20:34. > :20:42.is basically on our bedside table. You hit a woman in the face with a
:20:42. > :20:52.prawn, yes? Yes, but by accident. I didn't just think, she looked annoy
:20:52. > :21:01.you. Prawn admin is difficult, and it went into the next door lady's
:21:01. > :21:07.face. Like Julia Roberts! Miranda claims that she hugged a post box
:21:07. > :21:15.thinking it was your boyfriend. had had a little bit of wind. But
:21:15. > :21:21.my boyfriend had a red jumper on. Careful! It was Matt Baker!
:21:21. > :21:26.thought rapper Kanye West was a tube stop. You stood up in a job
:21:26. > :21:33.interview only to find you weren't wearing a skirt.
:21:33. > :21:38.No, wait! I was wearing something! Mile long skirt got caught under
:21:38. > :21:46.the wheels of the chair and as I stood up, my skirt went down. I was
:21:46. > :21:54.wearing tights at least. With spotty pants. We use sign it for my
:21:54. > :21:57.wife? The yes. -- will you sign it? Miranda's book is written as a sort
:21:57. > :22:03.of letter to her 18-year-old self. So we asked our friends and family
:22:03. > :22:10.here at the One Show what they'd say to themselves, aged 18. The one
:22:10. > :22:15.piece of advice I would give my 18- year-old person is that it is great
:22:16. > :22:20.to be individual, it does not matter if you are in the cool group.
:22:20. > :22:27.Life is not a race, it is a stroll. If you make a mistake, pick
:22:27. > :22:33.yourself up and don't beat yourself up. What would surprise me at 18 is
:22:33. > :22:43.the fact I have three daughters and one son, and I think I would have
:22:43. > :22:45.
:22:45. > :22:51.If I met my 18-year-old self I would say to him, you will never
:22:51. > :22:55.believe this but one day you will be a grandfather, and a grandfather
:22:55. > :23:05.five times over! You will have five grandchildren and you will love
:23:05. > :23:07.
:23:07. > :23:17.I would tell my 18-year-old self, don't panic, you will be all right.
:23:17. > :23:19.
:23:19. > :23:23.In four years you will get an Please do not worry any more
:23:23. > :23:28.because within a decade, something will have been invented which will
:23:28. > :23:32.increase your quality of life by 80% and allow you to blend into
:23:32. > :23:41.normal society. Within ten years, hair straight and as we have been
:23:41. > :23:44.invented. -- straight in there! Will have been invented. It would
:23:44. > :23:52.have shocked me to think I would have four at children and be
:23:52. > :23:56.married for 18 years to one man! The thing that I would be most
:23:56. > :24:00.amazed by it is the fact I have travelled around the world, too
:24:00. > :24:05.weird and wonderful and wild places, where bandits have been after me,
:24:05. > :24:14.and I have seen the most fantastic plants, and I would not have
:24:14. > :24:18.believed that was possible. I would not have believed I could find a
:24:19. > :24:24.job where come Sunday evening, I would be excited about going to
:24:24. > :24:29.work. One piece of advice I would give to myself is, don't stress
:24:30. > :24:35.about mathematics at school! Don't worry about over-achieving! Spend
:24:35. > :24:40.more time outside climbing trees. The problem is that my 18-year-old
:24:40. > :24:44.self would not be listening to me. He would say, you haven't got
:24:45. > :24:50.anything to tell me, Altman. Maybe if I had had that advice I would
:24:50. > :25:00.not have made so many mistakes. And boy, there is a lot! Mike Dilger
:25:00. > :25:06.
:25:06. > :25:12.looked like Harry from the McFly! Anne, what would you say? I wrote a
:25:12. > :25:17.chapter, a page of the book we were asked to do about four years ago,
:25:17. > :25:22.something Elton John was involved in for a charity, I think it was
:25:22. > :25:28.Aids, and I said you have got to believe in yourself and you have
:25:28. > :25:36.got to lose weight, advice I never took! I can't remember now. I took
:25:36. > :25:43.I said you have got to go for things and not be afraid. And she
:25:43. > :25:49.lived by that. Not at the time but I do now! But that came quite late.
:25:49. > :25:54.You're in The Last Tango in Halifax. Everyone's talking about it but for
:25:54. > :26:00.those few people who haven't tuned in... It is based on a true story?
:26:01. > :26:06.Yes. Sally Wainwright's mother, fell in love with somebody she knew
:26:06. > :26:13.at school in later life. She had this idea for this series.
:26:13. > :26:22.really is wonderful to. I love it. Derek Jacobi and died get to do
:26:23. > :26:32.some jiving. -- And I. He is the most wonderful dancer! Wonderful.
:26:33. > :26:33.
:26:33. > :26:35.So I said, please can we jive and Salim wrote it in.
:26:35. > :26:45.The relationship between yours and Derek Jacobi's characters is very
:26:45. > :26:53.
:26:53. > :26:58.We escaped. We did! We keep having adventures. We do! I did not have
:26:58. > :27:08.any adventures until I met you! is you that gets us into these
:27:08. > :27:14.
:27:15. > :27:20.It is so tender. All sorts going on around you. It is so well written.
:27:20. > :27:24.I love that the family, it is all about family. I have known several
:27:24. > :27:30.Lancashire since she was little and I knew her father so that was nice
:27:30. > :27:35.when I got to play her mother, and Nicola Walker is wonderful. It is a
:27:35. > :27:43.really good cast. It is a joy. Thank you, who would is looking
:27:43. > :27:50.after my career, thank you very much -- whoever up there. Derek
:27:50. > :27:55.Jacobi does not asked me to call him sir! But he has not been the
:27:55. > :28:01.only man you have had a tangle with! Let's see the moment she
:28:01. > :28:11.kissed Daniel Craig. I like being with you so much.
:28:11. > :28:14.
:28:14. > :28:22.I have got you! I am not used to You went in for a second one there!
:28:22. > :28:30.No, I didn't! All of the ladies at home, including myself and Miranda,
:28:30. > :28:40.of wondering what he was like to kiss. Awful! LAST de. He is
:28:40. > :28:42.
:28:42. > :28:46.gorgeous! -- LAUGHTER. Did you have to do several takes? No. I did not
:28:46. > :28:50.know who he was when I heard he was going to play the part because I
:28:50. > :28:55.had not seen a friends and the North, and then I phoned a friend
:28:55. > :29:00.of mine and I said have you heard of an actor called Daniel Craig,
:29:00. > :29:05.and I heard a faint at the end of the phone and I realised her 60 he
:29:05. > :29:11.was! He was lovely to work with, very, very nice -- I realised how
:29:11. > :29:16.cautious he was! There was a quote that Angelina Jolie said that
:29:16. > :29:24.Daniel was the best kisser of any actor she had ever experienced,
:29:24. > :29:32.apart from Brad Pitt I am sure. am bored of this, can we moved on?
:29:32. > :29:35.Let's move on! As we said, it is the 12th of the 12th of the 12th
:29:35. > :29:45.and there you we spoke to Jessica. We wanted to fight another 11
:29:45. > :29:47.
:29:47. > :29:54.people having their 12th birthday That's Emma Mitchell. Happy
:29:54. > :30:03.birthday. Ben jam main is 12 today. Lovely from nanny and grandad. --
:30:03. > :30:08.Benjamin is 12 today. Love from nanny and grandad. There is Sarah
:30:08. > :30:15.Maguire. This is Tristram Simpson. Lauren. Happy birthday. From caim
:30:15. > :30:18.bridgeshire. -- Cambridgeshire. There's not long to go until
:30:18. > :30:23.Christmas Eve, so children, if you haven't already, you should write a
:30:23. > :30:31.note to Santa and post it to the North Pole. If you've been good he
:30:31. > :30:34.might just write back. I never got a letter from Father Christmas, but
:30:34. > :30:44.this is the tale of some lucky children who did. All the way from
:30:44. > :30:46.
:30:46. > :30:51.the North Pole. A fabulous land. The antics of Father Christmas's
:30:51. > :30:57.accident-prone assistant, the north polar bear. They were forwarded
:30:57. > :31:01.from Father Christmas by one of the great story tellers of the 20th
:31:01. > :31:09.century. JRR Tolkien. He sent the first to his three-year-old son,
:31:09. > :31:14.John, in 1920. Fresh letters kept coming year after year to Michael
:31:14. > :31:20.and Christopher and Priscilla. give you a snapshot of everything
:31:20. > :31:23.that Tolkien really became fame -- famous for later on. The children
:31:23. > :31:27.adored the letters, even when they were much older and the delightful
:31:27. > :31:32.thing about them was that over the course of 20-something years, you
:31:32. > :31:35.got a whole series of stories and characters that children got to
:31:35. > :31:41.love and they would look forward to Christmas, because they would want
:31:41. > :31:44.to know what antics they'd been up to. Tolkien was professor of Anglo
:31:44. > :31:50.Saxon in Oxford. His students couldn't believe where he held some
:31:50. > :31:56.of his lessons. This was the local not only of Tolkien, but of his
:31:56. > :32:04.good friend, CS Lewis. The creators of Middle Earth and Narnia would
:32:04. > :32:09.meet here every Tuesday for a point. -- pint. They called themselves the
:32:09. > :32:13.Inklings. They talked about feology and literature. Sometimes Tolkien
:32:13. > :32:17.would read from a new book he was writing, called the Lord of the
:32:17. > :32:21.Rings. If you had been in the pub one day in 1944 you might have seen
:32:21. > :32:26.him teaching a group of undergraduates, including one who
:32:26. > :32:35.would go on to achieve celebrity, the actor Robert Hardy. What was he
:32:35. > :32:39.like, professor Tolkien? Lovely. He was gentle and funny. He had a
:32:39. > :32:45.rugged face, rather Scandinavian I used to think. Very much a family
:32:45. > :32:52.man. Would you say he was eccentric? I wouldn't say that. He
:32:52. > :32:57.wasn't like most other dons, but the best of the Dons weren't like
:32:57. > :33:02.the run. They was gentle and he lined up beer for us all. That was
:33:02. > :33:09.part of the lesson. We weren't asked to pay. What do you do with
:33:09. > :33:12.historic letters from father Chris imagine? -- father Chris imagine?
:33:12. > :33:16.The family donated them to the library here. There are 11 million
:33:16. > :33:24.books and documents, so you can understand why the letters are not
:33:24. > :33:29.on display, but you and I have been offered a special Christmas viewing.
:33:29. > :33:33.For 23 years, the Christmases in the Tolkien household were made
:33:33. > :33:37.very special, unique in fact. There's always the slapstick
:33:37. > :33:46.element to the stories that get told. Tolkien loved fireworks and
:33:46. > :33:50.he often took the children to see displays In one letter Father
:33:50. > :33:57.Christmas said he had a bonfire to please the polar bear and celebrate
:33:57. > :34:05.the coming in of winter. Snow elves let off all the rockets together.
:34:05. > :34:10.It's quite poignant to see here in 1943 the lovely letter for
:34:10. > :34:14.Priscilla who is 14 years old. Father Christmas writes in the
:34:14. > :34:18.shaky hand, "A very happy Christmas and I suppose you'll be hanging up
:34:18. > :34:21.your stocking just once more. I hope so because I still have a few
:34:21. > :34:27.little things for you and after this I will have to say goodbye
:34:27. > :34:32.more or less. I mean, I shall not forget you." That is touching.
:34:32. > :34:37.Really touching. He must have felt a little pang as he wrote that.
:34:37. > :34:42.Four very lucky children to have had Father Christmas write to them
:34:42. > :34:50.in person. As for me, still nothing. Come on, Santa, you know, an e-mail
:34:50. > :34:55.maybe, a text, a tweet, Facebook, anything! Well, Arthur is with us
:34:55. > :35:00.now. Tonight, it's the premiere of the Hobbit. We are not there.
:35:00. > :35:04.can't believe it's on tonight. Very inconvenient. There we are. We can
:35:04. > :35:11.see some people there. It's happening. There is Martin Freeman.
:35:11. > :35:14.And Cate Blanchett there. Stop there. Tolkien spent lots of time
:35:14. > :35:18.posting the letters from Santa back to his children. Lots of people say
:35:18. > :35:21.that he wrote the Hobbit especially for his children, but it was a bit
:35:21. > :35:25.more than that? He did write it with the children in mind and they
:35:25. > :35:28.used to love it as well and he discussed Middle Earth with them,
:35:28. > :35:34.but he put a lot of time in. He wanted to get it published and
:35:34. > :35:38.spent years writing it and brought all the academic rigour that he had,
:35:38. > :35:42.because he was a very important academic to the writing of it. He
:35:42. > :35:46.was mad keen to get it published. I think he was pretty pleased when he
:35:46. > :35:50.did. The children were quite involved in the process? He used to
:35:50. > :35:54.discuss it with them. The child, Christopher, the youngest, when he
:35:54. > :36:00.was in hospital, Tolkien gave him a penny for every mistake he could
:36:00. > :36:05.see in the proof, which was rather sweet. Good way of making cash. How
:36:05. > :36:10.wrapped up in it was Taliban kin? He was completely consumed. He was
:36:10. > :36:14.a very hard worker. He was works as an academic and teaching Medieval
:36:15. > :36:17.English and discussing myths and things, but if he had an idea about
:36:17. > :36:23.the Hobbit he would write it down on anything he came across, which
:36:23. > :36:28.meant sometimes he wrote it on people's exam papers. It would be
:36:28. > :36:32.great to have now. It would be worth money now. It's not a massive
:36:32. > :36:37.book, so how on earth has Peter Jackson managed to make three,
:36:37. > :36:42.three-hour films? You better ask him. He's done well. He used the
:36:42. > :36:47.appendix right at the end as the main part of one and he may yet do
:36:47. > :36:51.more, because there's still more of Tolkien's works that are
:36:51. > :36:55.unpublished. There's the book that he wrote between the Hobbit and
:36:55. > :37:02.Lord of the Rings, so who knows. There may be hundreds of films
:37:02. > :37:10.of people out there will be hoping he does. Now, Miranda was in a sci-
:37:10. > :37:15.fi series called Hyperdrive. There you are. You do look very Hobbit-
:37:15. > :37:18.like. Obviously quite tall. Very long. If they put the shoes on your
:37:19. > :37:28.knees you could be in the Hobbit. What do you make of that? Thank
:37:29. > :37:32.
:37:32. > :37:41.you! Sorry! Do come on our show, you look like a Hobbit, by the way!
:37:41. > :37:47.Look! OK. London might be crawlling with Hollywood stars waiting to
:37:47. > :37:52.watch the premiere, but what about the fans? Well, yes, we are joined
:37:52. > :37:56.by three superfans tonight. Whoever can convince Arthur that they are
:37:57. > :38:03.truly in love with the Hobbit they will win themselves a prize.
:38:03. > :38:07.Incredible. Arthur, you will give the winner this. Tell us what it is.
:38:07. > :38:15.Well, this is the entire Hobbit written down on a very large piece
:38:15. > :38:25.of paper. It's a bit bigger than an iPad. It's a good reaction from
:38:25. > :38:28.
:38:28. > :38:34.them. They are very excited about that. First up we have Maddy. It's
:38:34. > :38:39.time to start Tolkien. When my twin boys were a year old I took a
:38:39. > :38:44.college course in childcare. One of the modules we had to do was make a
:38:44. > :38:49.toy. I designed and built an entire replica of the Bag End which they
:38:49. > :38:55.lived in. I built everything from the frame out of wood and all the
:38:55. > :39:01.furniture and the food. It took me 11 months. It now tours around in
:39:01. > :39:04.Australia with the Proudfoot Foundation who support children's
:39:04. > :39:10.literacy. I'm a huge Tolkien fan and I'm a superfan. It's a very
:39:11. > :39:17.good pitch. You worked so hard there. I have to hear the other two,
:39:17. > :39:22.come on. Jacob is next. So, when I was 12 I was a massive fan of the
:39:22. > :39:28.Hobbit and I fancied this girl in my class, so I thought I would
:39:28. > :39:38.learn some Elvish and ask her out and recite this poem. Don't tell us
:39:38. > :39:42.
:39:42. > :39:47.you have this here? I do. (He speaks in Elvish ) Could the girl
:39:47. > :39:54.speak it as well? Unfortunately she didn't. I had to explain the poem
:39:54. > :40:03.to her after. Did she fall in love with you? Unfortunately, she said
:40:03. > :40:07.no. Do you still love her? I don't any more. It's a hard way to find
:40:07. > :40:15.out that girls are not impressed by learning it. Maddy might have more
:40:15. > :40:22.of an idea. What about Jamie now? I've been inspired by all the
:40:22. > :40:29.armour and weapons from the films, so I've made this chainmail. There
:40:29. > :40:39.are 22,000 metal rings. You made every single ring? No, I bought
:40:39. > :40:39.
:40:39. > :40:45.them and connected them up with wires. I used to plier -- plyers.
:40:45. > :40:51.Does it fit you? Yeah. You have Hobbit parties, don't you? We had
:40:51. > :40:56.one last Monday. Any plans to make the trousers? Maybe. So we have
:40:56. > :41:00.Jamie who made the outfit and Jacob who learnt Elvish and Maddy who
:41:00. > :41:06.built Middle Earth in her livingroom. Well, I like Jamie's
:41:06. > :41:13.effort, but I think it will go rusty and I think Elvish Presley
:41:13. > :41:23.there in the middle, he wasn't doing it out of love for Tolkien,
:41:23. > :41:26.
:41:27. > :41:33.but I'm giving it to Maddy. APPLAUSE
:41:33. > :41:43.Brilliant. Now, freezing fog has been sweeping the country today.
:41:43. > :41:47.Cue fog. Making even the smallest journey pretty miserable. During
:41:47. > :41:51.the Second World War, thousands of troops had to travel in much worse
:41:51. > :42:00.conditions over much longer distances. John Sergeant has been
:42:01. > :42:05.finding out about the Arctic convoy. Asthma! All around the shores of
:42:05. > :42:12.loch Ewe in the far north-west of Scotland lie a series of decaying
:42:12. > :42:17.concrete gunning placements. These are now the focus of a campaign to
:42:17. > :42:26.commemorate one of the most brutal missions of the Second World War.
:42:26. > :42:33.It's so quiet and peaceful, but 70 years ago this loch was busy with
:42:33. > :42:37.military activity. This was the secret base for the Arctic convoys.
:42:37. > :42:43.The allies could only get vital supplies into the northern Russian
:42:43. > :42:50.ports by sea. This loch was where the convoys assembled. Jackie
:42:50. > :42:56.brooks is leading the campaign for a dedicated Arctic convoy museum.
:42:56. > :42:59.Why did they choose this area? was just out of the flying range of
:42:59. > :43:04.the germ non-aircraft and they thought the ships would go on this
:43:04. > :43:09.route over to Russia. The merchant ships would assemble. Perhaps as
:43:09. > :43:14.many as 50 and wait here for the escorts. Then they would leave to
:43:14. > :43:22.go on what Churchill called the worst journey in the world.
:43:22. > :43:25.Continues were atrocious. With towering seas and howling winds.
:43:25. > :43:33.Freezing spray would accumulate as thick ice on the ship's rails and
:43:33. > :43:40.decks. This rare colour film, shot by one of the ship's commanders,
:43:40. > :43:50.Captain John Litchfield, shows the extreme conditions endured by the
:43:50. > :43:59.
:43:59. > :44:05.men who were on the ships and the As if battling the element wasn't
:44:05. > :44:13.enough, the ships remained vulnerable to enany attack. If a
:44:13. > :44:17.vest le -- vessel was torpedoed, how many minutes? Two minutes in
:44:17. > :44:20.the water, that's as long as they could survive. The convoy ships
:44:20. > :44:24.couldn't stop. They had to keep moving, so they couldn't pick
:44:24. > :44:29.people up. Many of them perished in those waters in those circumstances.
:44:29. > :44:36.What were the casualties? There were over 3,000 men who lost their
:44:36. > :44:41.lives and over 100 ships that went down. At the mouth of the loch a
:44:41. > :44:46.memorial stands to the behave sailors who lost their lives. It's
:44:46. > :44:49.a sobering plays but for John and Donald, who were children when the
:44:49. > :44:55.convoys gathered, the memories are of an exciting time. Some people
:44:55. > :44:59.used to say that you thought you could walk across the loch to the
:44:59. > :45:09.other side just over the ships. There were so many? That was not
:45:09. > :45:15.
:45:15. > :45:21.strictly true. There was probably Recently, this child's drawing of
:45:21. > :45:30.the convoys came to light. It was made by John's cousin, Simon. How
:45:30. > :45:36.all was he when he drew this? Four. It is a child's view of war.
:45:36. > :45:42.Exactly. It was like a game for him. He did not realise. It wasn't
:45:42. > :45:46.frightening, it was exciting. Absolutely. I knew about the
:45:46. > :45:52.convoys but I did not know what they were all about. And how
:45:52. > :45:57.important this area was in the war. Indeed. As well as a campaign for
:45:57. > :46:02.an Arctic convoys museum here, there are also calls for a special
:46:02. > :46:06.medal to be issued. In all for a handful of cases, the metal would
:46:06. > :46:12.be awarded posthumously. -- the medals.
:46:13. > :46:20.A wonderful pictures. As we mentioned earlier, call the
:46:20. > :46:26.midnight... Call The Midwife! is called Call The Midwife! Yes! It
:46:26. > :46:36.is on on Christmas Day. Here you are wet whipping the nativity play
:46:36. > :46:37.
:46:37. > :46:47.Where is your tea-towel? And my dad could not find it. Sheikh. Angels.
:46:47. > :46:51.
:46:51. > :46:58.I do not want any angels flapping their wings -- she sheep. Mess,
:46:59. > :47:08.play. None of that until you get to the neighbour. Garry Schofield! I
:47:09. > :47:09.
:47:09. > :47:16.will demote you to a book! Wonderful. Did you think it would
:47:16. > :47:22.be such a hit? No. You don't think about it going on air when you are
:47:22. > :47:26.filming it. We all had a great time and the script was amazing and the
:47:26. > :47:31.book and characters what existed before, so we knew it was brilliant
:47:31. > :47:36.but you never know what is given to happen. What we could not believe
:47:36. > :47:43.is that Anne, you narrated the audiobook? That is a strange
:47:43. > :47:51.coincidence. The yes. Was there a character that you thought...?
:47:51. > :47:56.There was one called Joe and I am playing this 80-year-old man, a
:47:56. > :48:06.cockney man, doing an impersonation of his recruiting sergeant!
:48:06. > :48:08.
:48:08. > :48:11.Brilliant. Can you give us a burst? No! Anne! I can't remember any!
:48:11. > :48:16.Miranda, I suppose you do not have the pressure of having to make
:48:16. > :48:22.people laugh in Call The Midwife but doing a serious role must bring
:48:22. > :48:26.its own challenges. Definitely. It was nice to do something different,
:48:26. > :48:32.from in front of the audience to do something more vulnerable and
:48:32. > :48:38.serious. It is very concentrated. It is nice not having the pressure
:48:38. > :48:44.to get a laugh. Talking of that, you have an announcement to make.
:48:44. > :48:53.You tell us. I am excited and nervous but I have decided I am
:48:53. > :48:58.going to do a stand-up tour off. Very good. When! It starts on 20th
:48:58. > :49:05.January 1920 14, so in one year. When Ken people buy tickets? From
:49:05. > :49:12.Monday morning. -- When can people buy tickets. It starts on 20th
:49:12. > :49:16.January, 2014. So please come and see me! And I have started doing
:49:16. > :49:22.cabaret. I have just done it for the first time and I loved it.
:49:22. > :49:32.Really! You are more excited about poorer than I am because you are in
:49:32. > :49:35.
:49:36. > :49:42.it. Yes! -- Poirot. I could not get his name out right. I told him, I
:49:42. > :49:50.said I feel like a woman who has won a competition! Is it the last
:49:50. > :49:54.ever? You S. And I have watched them for years, over and over again.
:49:54. > :49:59.I thought, I should not be sitting here. Tremendous. We cannot wait to
:49:59. > :50:09.see that. Time for our second slapstick student to try their
:50:09. > :50:13.
:50:13. > :50:19.hands at some creative falling over. Hamas. -- Hannah. You have to
:50:19. > :50:29.recreate this falling over from this clip so watch closely.
:50:29. > :50:44.
:50:44. > :50:48.Is it is a tricky dismount. All the That was excellent. I have worked
:50:48. > :50:53.out a variety of ways of falling off a chair and that is my
:50:53. > :50:57.favourite, trying to stop yourself like a dog swimming. Did you have a
:50:57. > :51:04.crash mat? Yes because the restaurant has wooden floors. I
:51:04. > :51:13.thought that was excellent. She is winning so far. There is one more
:51:13. > :51:18.to go! The pressure is on! Sister Wendy is now giving Phil
:51:18. > :51:21.Tufnell another arts master class. I am not sure his strange animal
:51:21. > :51:30.impressions path through are entirely appropriate but you can
:51:30. > :51:34.judge that yourself. Normally, Sister Wendy shows me
:51:34. > :51:39.great paintings but today she is showing me something different.
:51:39. > :51:43.Stained glass became important in the 12th century when the windows
:51:43. > :51:47.were meant to relate the stories of the lives of the saint's. Check
:51:47. > :51:50.this winter in Christchurch Cathedral in Oxford depicting the
:51:50. > :51:55.story of St Martin. People would have known that because of the
:51:55. > :51:59.cloak, the sort and the beggar representing Christ. The medieval
:51:59. > :52:03.congregation would have got it straight away. Today many of us
:52:03. > :52:08.have lost the ability to read the symbols but I know somebody who
:52:08. > :52:12.still can. I am meeting Sister Wendy at St Mary's Church in if
:52:12. > :52:22.lead to explain the meanings in some more modern examples of
:52:22. > :52:23.
:52:23. > :52:29.This is the Don Piper windows. People may know him from that great
:52:29. > :52:33.cascade of glowing glass, but this is his most beautiful window. It is
:52:33. > :52:39.called the Nativity window. It is all based upon the tree of life,
:52:39. > :52:42.can you see it? It does not look like a nativity scene. There is a
:52:42. > :52:49.wonderful ought legend that on Christmas night, the animals can
:52:49. > :52:53.You can understand why that is alleged and because they made such
:52:53. > :53:03.a difference to the world. Everything changed. Right up at the
:53:03. > :53:07.
:53:07. > :53:17.top you have got the Cockle, saying, in Latin. And that means "Christ is
:53:17. > :53:20.
:53:20. > :53:30.born". And then the goose says "when? When?". I cannot do the
:53:30. > :53:32.
:53:32. > :53:42.noises. And then, the Raven says "on this night". That is very good!
:53:42. > :53:42.
:53:42. > :53:52.And then the owl says "where?". And that is answered by the sheep that
:53:52. > :53:53.
:53:53. > :53:59.says "Bethlehem". So they are all having a conversation. Yes, and
:53:59. > :54:07.they are announcing it to the world. They Cockle is having a good time
:54:07. > :54:17.at the top. The because he has got the big message. Christ is born.
:54:17. > :54:21.
:54:21. > :54:24.Sister Wendy's next choice is the This is the death of Christ, when
:54:25. > :54:34.the tree of life came to its fullest flowering because you can
:54:34. > :54:40.They used to call the crossed the tree, but it is literally a tree,
:54:40. > :54:45.that has burst into beautiful blossom, and so it is Jesus dying
:54:45. > :54:49.for us and giving us life and also rising because this is full of joy,
:54:49. > :54:55.it is not a picture of suffering. It is almost like it is bursting
:54:55. > :55:00.into life. Yes, it is a good thing. And underneath the sheep, they
:55:00. > :55:06.represent us. And then the great river of life love and very
:55:07. > :55:13.strongly from the tree. The it feels alive. It is. That is why
:55:13. > :55:21.light is the symbol of God. It comes through and shows us clearly
:55:21. > :55:28.no meaning and the beauty of creation and redemption. It all
:55:28. > :55:36.speak so strongly of living, living a life, as I do, a life that wants
:55:36. > :55:46.to be close to Christ. It overwhelms me. Words really aren't
:55:46. > :55:51.
:55:51. > :55:56.There you have it. All the animal noises from Phil Tufnell. Our final
:55:56. > :56:03.slapstick student is Alex. By overweight, Miranda, your website
:56:03. > :56:10.has just crashed -- by the way, Miranda. Are you serious? That is
:56:10. > :56:20.both bad and good! They have until 2014, no rush! Alex, here is your
:56:20. > :56:28.
:56:28. > :56:32.APPLAUSE That is the ultimate fall. Any words of advice for Alex?
:56:32. > :56:42.would say this is the hardest but it is all about the flip back
:56:42. > :56:51.
:56:51. > :57:01.Very good. He did the fall would panic, you need to go back and then
:57:01. > :57:05.
:57:05. > :57:10.You need to lean back and then go. Miranda, it is time to crown the
:57:10. > :57:20.winner. A our falling winner is, I was going to say it misses the
:57:20. > :57:26.
:57:26. > :57:36.chair but that sums wrong! Do we have 12 12-year-olds? Hannah Stool!
:57:36. > :57:37.
:57:37. > :57:40.At the beginning of the programme we said, is it possible to get 12,
:57:40. > :57:50.12-year-olds on the 12th of the 12th? Hopefully we have. I think we
:57:50. > :58:03.
:58:03. > :58:13.Marco Siilva! Abigail MacArthur! Caitlin Bugg! Daisy May Allen! Two
:58:13. > :58:15.
:58:15. > :58:23.more? This is brilliant, we needed two and we have got twins! No!
:58:23. > :58:27.and Mauvin. This was sent in by mum and this was by grand mal. That
:58:27. > :58:31.could be cheating and that could be the same girl. Happy birthday to
:58:31. > :58:38.everybody who was 12 today and we have had lots of them in.
:58:38. > :58:47.Thanks to all our guests today. Miranda series three starts on
:58:47. > :58:53.Boxing Day. Call The Midwife is on Christmas Day. Tickets on sale from