14/10/2016

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:00:29. > :00:41.That short cut from London zoo worked brilliantly, didn't it?

:00:42. > :00:43.Hello and welcome to The One Show with Alex Jones.

:00:44. > :00:46.And we've let him out of his cage once again.

:00:47. > :01:02.Lovely to be here. Tonight's knows his way around a banana.

:01:03. > :01:04.Terrorising inadequate restaurateurs and hotel owners.

:01:05. > :01:06.But that's nothing compared to how scary he is first thing

:01:07. > :01:13.in the morning when he's waking up his kids.

:01:14. > :01:29.You look like a very pregnant Minnie mouse. I don't like them wasting

:01:30. > :01:36.time in bed in the morning. Tilly is the worst. Port Tilly. I like being

:01:37. > :01:43.up early in the morning. I like when they are up as well. When I'm up,

:01:44. > :01:48.they have to be up. You must be a super annoying dad? They love it.

:01:49. > :01:56.They are grumpy for 34 minutes. Come on, we'll go for a swim. That's go

:01:57. > :02:08.for a run. Is it a different costume every morning? A snare drum in the

:02:09. > :02:15.morning is brilliant. Come on, Tilly. Time for the drum lesson. You

:02:16. > :02:18.are known as an embarrassing dad the world over by now. We did hear of

:02:19. > :02:24.good authority that you were kicked out of eight teachers evening for

:02:25. > :02:32.asking for a selfie with a headmistress. We were asked politely

:02:33. > :02:37.to leave. You wouldn't kick someone out by asking them politely to leave

:02:38. > :02:41.but others do. I don't know if you'd been to parents evening. They get,

:02:42. > :02:48.not long winded, but they asked if you need to break the ice. I asked

:02:49. > :02:54.the headmistress for a selfie. I have agreed to go and be the chef of

:02:55. > :02:57.the school for dinner for the next term. Fingers crossed!

:02:58. > :03:01.If there was a Pointless question to name a famous date in British

:03:02. > :03:05.history then you wouldn't do very well if you went for 1066.

:03:06. > :03:08.And as everyone knows, it was the last time the English

:03:09. > :03:11.were conquered by an invading force, but tonight, Dan may be

:03:12. > :03:33.Yes, I am on the famous battlefield with over 1000 re-enactors. Later on

:03:34. > :03:37.I will be speaking to the Duke of Normandy and King Harald tonight is

:03:38. > :03:41.not just about the Battle of Hastings, it is about Battle of

:03:42. > :03:48.Tastings. All centred around one of Gordon's recipes. First here is my

:03:49. > :03:57.take on one of the most epic stories in British history.

:03:58. > :04:02.950 years ago, three warlords fought for the throne of England. It

:04:03. > :04:13.culminated in a brutal battle near Hastings. It is one of the most

:04:14. > :04:17.significant dates in British history. The West Coast is the hard

:04:18. > :04:23.coast. As long as we get that sorted. Using 150 metres of rope and

:04:24. > :04:29.chilly volunteers, I will show how the events of 1066 came about.

:04:30. > :04:39.Gather in. Who fancies being some Vikings? Saxons? Good, you all

:04:40. > :04:43.right? Coats off, please. Let's get into our armies. Very good. At the

:04:44. > :04:48.start of the year, the sky, Edward the Confessor, is king.

:04:49. > :04:55.Unfortunately for him he died on January the 5th, leaving no children

:04:56. > :05:03.and no obvious heir. Up stepped the powerful and popular nobleman,

:05:04. > :05:08.Harold governance in. But, over here in France, he was not a popular

:05:09. > :05:12.choice with this guy here, jig William of Normandy. William had

:05:13. > :05:17.been distantly related to the old king, Edward the Confessor, and he

:05:18. > :05:22.claimed Edward had promised him the throne on his death. He was furious

:05:23. > :05:28.and he started plotting his revenge. That he wasn't the only disgruntled

:05:29. > :05:34.warlord out there. Up here, in distant Norway. The English are a

:05:35. > :05:39.bit nervous now. There was another man, King Harald had RADA. This

:05:40. > :05:43.mighty warrior believed that he should be the king of England. He

:05:44. > :05:54.assembled an army of around 11,000 Vikings. In early September ten 66

:05:55. > :05:59.he led his men across the North Sea in a bold attempt to stake his

:06:00. > :06:04.claim. He landed here in East Riding of Yorkshire. As soon as King Harald

:06:05. > :06:08.heard about the invasion and he gathered his men together and set

:06:09. > :06:12.off to the north. They managed to come 185 miles in five days. Moving

:06:13. > :06:17.so fast that by the time they arrived in Yorkshire they took the

:06:18. > :06:26.Vikings by surprise. Both sides formed shield walls. Then the

:06:27. > :06:38.English closed in for the kill. Very good, very good. Hadrada was killed

:06:39. > :06:43.and the few remaining survivors slunk off back to Norway.

:06:44. > :06:51.But now came some bad luck. William of Normandy chose that moment to

:06:52. > :06:54.invade. Even though Harold and his men were exhausted from their battle

:06:55. > :06:58.appeared in Yorkshire, he had no choice. He had to lead them all the

:06:59. > :07:09.way back down to the south and fight. Wright, shield wall. Here we

:07:10. > :07:15.go everyone. Harold's troops arrived six miles out of Hastings on 13th of

:07:16. > :07:22.October ten 66. Just after dawn, on October 14, the battle began. --

:07:23. > :07:28.1066. A rumour went through the French ranks that William was dead.

:07:29. > :07:34.Many started to retreat. Excited, some of the English chase them down

:07:35. > :07:44.the hill. Out of the shield all they were isolated and cut down. But

:07:45. > :07:50.William was not dead. In the charges that followed, and the follies of

:07:51. > :07:56.arrows, King Harald was killed. Apparently struck by an arrow in the

:07:57. > :08:03.eye. William and the Normans had one.

:08:04. > :08:12.William became William the Conqueror. He was crowned on

:08:13. > :08:22.Christmas Day 1066. With him came French laws, customs, language, even

:08:23. > :08:28.food. At the northern invasion of 1066, dashes of the Norman Invasion

:08:29. > :08:34.of 1066 deal shapes the way we live today. What a view! I am not sure

:08:35. > :08:40.all of that was historically accurate. Some of the T-shirts were

:08:41. > :08:46.not historic. Other than that, we learned a lot.

:08:47. > :08:49.We'll be back with Dan later when the Saxons will have a chance

:08:50. > :08:53.to beat the Normans for once, all with the help of this.

:08:54. > :09:09.Your cookbook, Bread Street Kitchen, is all about kitchen food. What is

:09:10. > :09:16.the difference between restaurant food and kitchen food? Not a lot. It

:09:17. > :09:24.was a bit like the With A Cafe in the early days. Making the same sort

:09:25. > :09:35.of dishes. What would be the difference between a gravy and a

:09:36. > :09:53.jus? It is the same thing really, a gravy.

:09:54. > :09:58.Taking everything home and cooking with the kids is manageable, without

:09:59. > :10:04.getting overstressed about the decor. It is a beautiful book. We

:10:05. > :10:15.like the colour. That is not essential. Is that all you have to

:10:16. > :10:19.say, about colour? There is a thing about making your bacon platter? Are

:10:20. > :10:41.you thinking bacon is not flat enough? It depends which peak you

:10:42. > :10:49.buy from. -- which pig. This is the result on the table. We have a

:10:50. > :10:56.nightmare on the One Show. That is not too bad. You want to render the

:10:57. > :11:00.fact down. Crank the other an up and get it nice and hot. The people who

:11:01. > :11:06.have done that did not expect the critique. You need to have a lot of

:11:07. > :11:12.time on your hands to make flat bacon. I want to get rid of the

:11:13. > :11:19.white fat so it looks more manageable. On American television

:11:20. > :11:24.you see a lot of this. It is genuinely addictive. Not so much on

:11:25. > :11:34.British TV. Any chance we might see you on a newly long-running Channel

:11:35. > :11:45.4 television show? We are talking to the BBC. Are we talking to BBC? Tell

:11:46. > :11:51.us more. Are you making Gordon Ramsay Britain's batters bacon? I am

:11:52. > :11:57.gutted. Mortified. -- fattest bacon. Channel 4 do a great job. It needs

:11:58. > :12:10.Mary, the Queen of bacon. Who would you team up with? Mary? I can

:12:11. > :12:15.imagine it. I am enjoying this. It is the last season. Channel 4 next

:12:16. > :12:21.year. You are chatting to the BBC about something. Something to do

:12:22. > :12:38.with Mary. Stop it. Next item. It is. Show me some food. Let's talk

:12:39. > :12:44.about some spiced carrots. Bread Street Kitchen is out on Thursday.

:12:45. > :12:47.Gordon, what's your ultimate song to cook to?

:12:48. > :13:04.Depends who you are with, family wise. Not Angels? No, definitely not

:13:05. > :13:07.when I am with Tilly. Well, here's Carrie with the story

:13:08. > :13:25.behind another band who you might I Predict A Riot is the signature

:13:26. > :13:29.tune of Kaiser Chiefs. It sums up their successful relaunch having

:13:30. > :13:34.tried to top the pop charts and failed. They started life as a

:13:35. > :13:39.rather obscure indie band. We are very excited. I quit my job. When on

:13:40. > :13:45.tour. Took a year to make a record. All the things you shouldn't do. It

:13:46. > :13:50.was great. Then the record company had their funding rules. And so it

:13:51. > :13:55.just disappeared overnight. While we were on tour. Instead of giving up,

:13:56. > :14:03.the band decided to start again from scratch. The plan was to not play

:14:04. > :14:11.any of the songs and change the name. Do it all as if we have just

:14:12. > :14:15.met. Having been reinvented as Kaiser Chiefs, they took on

:14:16. > :14:22.part-time jobs to fund a rehearsal schedule. Nick was DJ in quite a

:14:23. > :14:26.lot. I was working in bars pretty much every night. We would drive

:14:27. > :14:31.home. People were in the street fighting. Police were blocking the

:14:32. > :14:37.road. Those images were just in my head. It was a world we were

:14:38. > :14:40.inhabiting. It is something we saw every night and something that was

:14:41. > :14:47.not touched upon in many songs. So it became the basis of an idea. One

:14:48. > :14:52.of my biggest memories of it is playing it. The verse. Everything

:14:53. > :14:58.apart from the chorus. Playing it around and around and around. When

:14:59. > :15:08.we ever going to be not playing this song? I remember saying, it's a good

:15:09. > :15:18.song. The chorus was inspired by a pub night. We were watching this

:15:19. > :15:26.band. Simon blower bodies on top of bodies. The band were taking their

:15:27. > :15:34.clothes off. I said to the owner of the club, I predict a riot. It is

:15:35. > :15:38.amazing. Within a year, Kaiser Chiefs were lined up for a new

:15:39. > :15:41.record deal. They are put in a studio with Stephen Street to work

:15:42. > :15:53.on I Predict A Riot. . The first thing which struck me

:15:54. > :15:59.about the song is how British the lyrics were. The first verse

:16:00. > :16:08.contains the word lairy and secondly tell me. I was taken by the use of

:16:09. > :16:13.instruments in the track itself. He invented this guitar sound, every

:16:14. > :16:18.song had that sound, because Kaiser Chiefs had to be a thing. For me, on

:16:19. > :16:22.the demo, everything was so multi-layers that it was hard to get

:16:23. > :16:30.the character of the lead singer, as it were. We wanted to keep that

:16:31. > :16:33.multi-layered, Beach Boys feel. It was balancing the vocals to get the

:16:34. > :16:41.right balance. You could tell Something Special was happening.

:16:42. > :16:45.I Predict a Riot was first released in 2004, following a successful tour

:16:46. > :16:53.it was released the following year and became a top ten hit. There is

:16:54. > :16:57.such intent in the lyrics, a night out in Leeds. It translated out of

:16:58. > :17:05.Leeds quickly. It is many I favourite song I have been involved

:17:06. > :17:13.in. I am back at the Old Chapel rehearsal. The drummer joined the

:17:14. > :17:24.band four years ago when Nick left to set to set up his own studio.

:17:25. > :17:28.It does capture a moment in time for us. There is a lot of energy in the

:17:29. > :17:33.band when we wrote it. I am just really glad of it. Where it is in

:17:34. > :17:36.the set you can sense the anticipation of the crowd. You go to

:17:37. > :17:41.Brazil or Australia beyond play the first note of the song and even

:17:42. > :17:42.knows what's coming it is really amazing.

:17:43. > :17:54.# I predict a riot... Ricky is unrecognisable from his

:17:55. > :17:56.early pictures. It is almost as if he's got money. Gone to a

:17:57. > :18:03.hairdresser, something like that. The Kaiser Chiefs' new album,

:18:04. > :18:05.Stay Together, is out now. Time to go back to Dan Snow now,

:18:06. > :18:22.who is in Hasting's ahead Well today has been very atmosphere

:18:23. > :18:29.ribbing. We have King Harold of England. Then we have Duke William

:18:30. > :18:33.of Normandy and his brother Odo. Everything is pretty fired up now,

:18:34. > :18:37.let's start with King Harold. You get to play Harold. The problem is

:18:38. > :18:41.you don't last the whole battle. You've got to die. Yes, I get shot

:18:42. > :18:46.with one of these two-thirds in the battle. And I lie dead for the rest

:18:47. > :18:52.of the battle. Are you ever tempted not to die, win and hold on to your

:18:53. > :19:03.crown? Yes, every time. But professionalism overrules. Some of

:19:04. > :19:08.you guys have gone to long lengths. Some of the members have marched

:19:09. > :19:14.from York. Some on horse back, some marching. We have got Duke William,

:19:15. > :19:19.who like Duke William for real does not really speak very good English.

:19:20. > :19:24.How did you arrive on the battlefields, did you come on the

:19:25. > :19:28.ferry? By the sea. Hastings is a big deal in Britain. Is it famous in

:19:29. > :19:34.France? Yes, it is well known in France. Mostly in Normandy. But the

:19:35. > :19:40.Duke is very famous. You are famous? Yes. Of course. Of course he is

:19:41. > :19:44.famous. We have seen the Normans all day having their car ris tick

:19:45. > :19:51.haircut. Why do you guys shave the back of your heads? The haircut was

:19:52. > :19:57.made for the comfort with the helmet and for the males to be cleaner. And

:19:58. > :20:02.it is the fashion. You have not got short hair? No. He's got style over

:20:03. > :20:07.comfort. I get the feeling. Now, let's look at the weapons here. Here

:20:08. > :20:11.we go. You take that mic. There we go, this is a helmet, head

:20:12. > :20:15.protection. Used by both sides. You will need that. Most of the blows

:20:16. > :20:20.from the battle to the head and the shoulders. Would this stop me

:20:21. > :20:24.getting chopped in half? Hopefully. You need that big wall between you

:20:25. > :20:29.and the enemy. This is the main event. We have some chaps here. Here

:20:30. > :20:37.we go. Let's get the shields clashing. Here we go. One of

:20:38. > :20:43.those... All right! Brilliant! Moving on to more civilised thing,

:20:44. > :20:48.the Battle of Tastings, we gave the English Gordon Ramsey's recipe for

:20:49. > :20:56.venison ragu and they looked it up in camp. Let's see how it went. I am

:20:57. > :21:01.joined over here now by the kings and the commanders. Let's taste it.

:21:02. > :21:06.OK, gentlemen, this is the English ragu. Thanks to Gordon's recipe.

:21:07. > :21:11.Very good. That is delicious. You take that

:21:12. > :21:20.Duke William. Let's have a look. OK, we like that. Now for the more

:21:21. > :21:32.tradition Norman spit roast venison. I have to say, the winner, I think,

:21:33. > :21:38.is the English. That's... Back to you guys. What did you make of that?

:21:39. > :21:44.Blessed. Slightly dodgy haircuts there. I am am not sure about that.

:21:45. > :21:48.There were spoiler alerts. I once did that walk from York to Hastings,

:21:49. > :21:52.but that was because of Southern Rail!

:21:53. > :21:57.Did you get your money back? Goodness, no. If it is delayed more

:21:58. > :22:06.than 50 minutes, you get your money back. He's said it on telly now.

:22:07. > :22:08.Well, the competition between the Saxons and the Normans

:22:09. > :22:11.I'm putting a sizable bet on the Normans.

:22:12. > :22:14.Now though Michael Douglas is a competitive dad with a point

:22:15. > :22:25.Healthy outdoor activities with my boys, Sunny and Joel.

:22:26. > :22:26.And a little bit of friendly competition.

:22:27. > :22:30.The last time we played the driving game, I beat you both.

:22:31. > :22:32.You deliberately made me photocopy one of my maths papers just

:22:33. > :22:46.And even then I probably let you win.

:22:47. > :22:49.Do you want to both go and climb a proper tree?

:22:50. > :22:57.The father-son rivalry is about to get

:22:58. > :23:08.I was an avenue individual climber in my youth. And now they like to

:23:09. > :23:12.scale trees whenever they get the chance. This one however is massive.

:23:13. > :23:17.So some modern climbing techniques and some health and safety

:23:18. > :23:22.instruction is not a bad idea. As we get ready to kick off, it is over to

:23:23. > :23:32.Match Of The Day commentator Jonathan Pierce.

:23:33. > :23:37.Michael's sons' combined ages add up to 22, that is nearly half

:23:38. > :23:38.of their dad's 43 years on this earth.

:23:39. > :23:42.First up the tree to ring the bell wins.

:23:43. > :23:47.Ooh, you can hear a leaf drop around here -

:23:48. > :24:04.Be more careful, just slow down a bit.

:24:05. > :24:06.It's the first time you've done this.

:24:07. > :24:11.That's a professional foul, if you ask me.

:24:12. > :24:16.And the strain is already beginning to show.

:24:17. > :24:19.Joel's knot is tangled but Sunny has taken pole position.

:24:20. > :24:52.Only momentarily, it would seem, because with sheer brute strength,

:24:53. > :24:55.look at that, he looks like a man aiming to conquer this

:24:56. > :24:57.tree with little regard for the children he leaves behind.

:24:58. > :25:03.Sunny is slipping through the puzzle of branches.

:25:04. > :25:07.He's not only hot on his father's heels, he's threatening to stab

:25:08. > :25:15.He's threatening to trample on his dreams, too, if he reaches

:25:16. > :25:23.Oh, it's dad who gets there first!

:25:24. > :25:28.And once again, I've proven that age is but a number

:25:29. > :25:33.What do you say to that, kids?

:25:34. > :25:44.Gordon, we suspect you might also be quite

:25:45. > :25:52.Which of your kids are you most competitive with?

:25:53. > :26:02.Jack, Tils. Cooking-wise, Tilly. Posy, a threat, I help her out.

:26:03. > :26:08.Needing to move on a little bit, but they are getting there. We have

:26:09. > :26:14.invited Tilly for this last segment, so you can be crowned ultimate

:26:15. > :26:19.competitive dad. We will happened over the reigns to my Pointless

:26:20. > :26:25.friend, Richard. The very best of luck both of you. Three questions.

:26:26. > :26:30.Here is your first - in your book, Gordon, which fruit do you say you

:26:31. > :26:35.should marinate squid in to make it more tender? What would you go with

:26:36. > :26:41.for that? I wouldn't marinate it in anything. I would go lime. I mean

:26:42. > :26:48.squid and lime is a combination, isn't it? Have you written down an

:26:49. > :26:57.answer? My answer is. Oh it is upside down. Kiwi. Banana. The

:26:58. > :27:04.answer was kiwi fruit. Yes! You don't use banana. You wrote that

:27:05. > :27:09.book! Don't lose heart. I was going to say you might as well do a fist

:27:10. > :27:13.pump and you did. The world's most expensive type of coffee comes from

:27:14. > :27:18.beans which have been previously eaten by which animal? I know this

:27:19. > :27:30.one. I know this one. I would go about eater. No. Pointless! The

:27:31. > :27:36.correct word is a Civit. A cat. The final question.

:27:37. > :27:44.Listen very carefully. The classic mocktail Shirley Temple is often

:27:45. > :27:51.made with ginger ale, grenadine syrup, lime juice and zered with a

:27:52. > :27:58.maraschino cherry. The answer we want is what is Beyonce's most

:27:59. > :28:05.recent album called? I know it. Lemonade is the right answer. That

:28:06. > :28:11.was 2-2. I give it to Tilly. We have a little prize as well. We have got

:28:12. > :28:18.some bacon... It said the ultimate dad. We give it to Tilly. No!

:28:19. > :28:21.Unbelievable! Thank you both for coming in. The book is out on

:28:22. > :28:30.Thursday. And thanks to Richard as well -

:28:31. > :28:48.a pleasure to have you here Next week we are joined by some

:28:49. > :28:56.great guests. Phil Collins, and Miranda Hart.

:28:57. > :29:03.Thank you. Bye.