:00:19. > :00:23.Hello and welcome to the One Show with Lucy Siegle and Chris Evans.
:00:23. > :00:27.Alex is not here today and she will not be happy because tonight's
:00:27. > :00:31.guest is one of her absolute favourites. He has an annoyingly
:00:31. > :00:37.talented actor, comedian and writer who has raised millions for charity
:00:37. > :00:47.with his extraordinary swims. He is very good-looking. I hate him!
:00:47. > :00:59.
:00:59. > :01:08.Please welcome the man who is How are you, David? Please, come in.
:01:08. > :01:15.What do you think? Of what? whole thing? Magical. Is it similar
:01:15. > :01:19.to being on the Bond set on the set of Skyfall? Me and my wife were
:01:19. > :01:23.invited to see the sets, which were fantastic, and we did spend some
:01:23. > :01:27.time with Daniel Craig. I had met him before and he was a bit grumpy,
:01:27. > :01:34.so I warned my wife that he might be grumpy because he is a serious
:01:34. > :01:38.actor. He could not have been more charming! Tonight, we are
:01:38. > :01:43.celebrating 50 years of Bond and we are going to test you to see how
:01:43. > :01:47.big a fan you really are. During the show, we have three real but
:01:47. > :01:55.obscure props from actual James Bond films and we will show them to
:01:55. > :02:00.you. And you will play for this. The brand new Blu-Ray Bond box set.
:02:00. > :02:05.Question number one, that will win you the box. Question number two,
:02:05. > :02:10.there will win the DVD holders. You will only win the actual films if
:02:10. > :02:16.you get the third question right. If I take this, what will you do
:02:17. > :02:22.with them? Don't worry. Are you ready to play for the box? This is
:02:22. > :02:32.an actual proper from a James Bond set. It is an explosive device. But
:02:32. > :02:40.which movie is it from? Is it from Octopussy, Diamonds Are Forever, or
:02:40. > :02:46.The Spy Who Loved Me? The Spy Who Loved Me. I thought he was going to
:02:46. > :02:56.take the box! Let's see if he is right. Correct, ladies and
:02:56. > :02:59.
:02:59. > :03:02.gentlemen. Amazing. He has the box. Now, in James Bond's most infamous
:03:02. > :03:07.recent appearance he was jumping out of a helicopter with the queen
:03:07. > :03:10.at the Olympics opening ceremony. It not to be out on, Angellica Bell
:03:10. > :03:16.leapt at the chance to spend the day with the James Bond stunt
:03:16. > :03:25.people. If box-office success was a
:03:25. > :03:34.cocktail, it would be a dry martini. Bond. It has the music... The
:03:34. > :03:39.girls... And and the gadgets. Ejector seat? Joking. I never joke
:03:39. > :03:49.about my work. But this mix would be nothing without the stunt
:03:49. > :03:54.
:03:54. > :04:01.It is amazing what people will do these days to be a One Show
:04:01. > :04:05.presenter. Was that OK? Fantastic, wonderful. John Glen is the
:04:05. > :04:09.director of Five Bond movies. Why are the stance so important?
:04:09. > :04:15.like to pride ourselves on doing the best stunt work and employing
:04:15. > :04:20.the best stunt men. How would you think of a stunt to go in? People
:04:20. > :04:23.get used to seeing aeroplanes flying over cars, but not many
:04:23. > :04:28.people see cars flying over aeroplanes. That is the sort of
:04:28. > :04:32.idea in the back of our mind, too surprised the audience. What is the
:04:32. > :04:38.most dramatic stunt you have directed? In The Spy Who Loved Me,
:04:38. > :04:43.the skiing parachute jump. We very nearly did not get it. It was just
:04:43. > :04:47.one take and the weather was against us. That one shot cost
:04:47. > :04:51.$250,000, over 20 years ago. If it had failed, Rick Sylvester would
:04:51. > :04:59.have been blown into the precipice. We did not have a rope long enough
:04:59. > :05:04.to retrieve him. It was 7200 ft down. And you got it. Yes. We shot
:05:04. > :05:08.the rest of the sequence in San Moritz, because it was cheaper.
:05:08. > :05:13.a lot of the James Bond actors do their own stunts? Roger did a lot
:05:13. > :05:17.of his own staff. Timothy frightened me. He got on top of the
:05:18. > :05:24.jeep and I was horrified. I thought we could have lost our new James
:05:24. > :05:30.Bond. The stunt co-ordinator worked with John on Octopussy, making the
:05:30. > :05:36.action happen. I was asked to run along the top of the train,
:05:36. > :05:40.doubling for Roger. That was great fun. You are safe, bouncing along.
:05:40. > :05:45.But then I was asked to duck under the bridge, two feet above the
:05:45. > :05:51.trains. At 35 mph, it is trying to judge how fast you can be. I
:05:51. > :05:56.thought, oh, my God. I just ducked down. There was a pipe over the
:05:56. > :06:06.track. I said to the camera crew, if they see that, they will want me
:06:06. > :06:11.to jump over it. The next day I got the phone call saying, that Pipe...
:06:11. > :06:14.I think the public expect a lot from a Bond movie. There is
:06:14. > :06:19.terrific anticipation. They know they will be thrilled. It starts
:06:19. > :06:23.with the title music. You get a tingle when you hear the guitar. If
:06:24. > :06:31.so that was wonderful, but you must get ready for your next shot.
:06:31. > :06:37.Action. The name is Angellica Bell. Here are some tricks of the trade.
:06:37. > :06:41.I kick towards the camera, and the stuntman bounces away from the lens.
:06:41. > :06:49.No where to go, but what you are not seeing are the boxes that I
:06:49. > :06:59.jump on to. The successful stunt punschrulle break an imaginary
:06:59. > :07:08.
:07:08. > :07:18.And it is all over. Well done. is to the next 50 years. Long may
:07:18. > :07:19.
:07:19. > :07:28.That was a pretty good win court. I wish I could do that. Still breast-
:07:28. > :07:33.feeding and doing all that. Is she? David, you are playing for the box
:07:33. > :07:36.set of James Bond movies. The next question is for the DVD holders.
:07:36. > :07:43.The third question is for the films. Would you like to see the next
:07:43. > :07:49.genuine prop from the James Bond set? Yes. We have some flame
:07:49. > :07:56.throwing bagpipes. Which movie are these from. --? Is it, The World Is
:07:56. > :08:01.Not Enough, The Living Daylights, or Moonraker? Which one? They
:08:01. > :08:11.definitely only appear in the gadget room. I think it is The
:08:11. > :08:14.
:08:14. > :08:22.World Is Not Enough. Shall we find out if he is right? He is right!
:08:22. > :08:32.all have to pay the piper some time, right? Simon macro pipe down.
:08:32. > :08:32.
:08:32. > :08:40.If you do not win the movies, we will divide them among the crew.
:08:40. > :08:47.think I will get out of here? have a theory about James Bond
:08:47. > :08:54.films. They are only as good as the villain. The villain in the new
:08:54. > :08:59.film is fantastic. How much inside skinny have you got on it? I have
:08:59. > :09:06.only seen bits and pieces. I strike took -- I try to get stuff out of
:09:06. > :09:10.the producers because I'm friends with them. Obviously not such good
:09:10. > :09:16.friends, otherwise you would be in the movie! She does not want to
:09:16. > :09:23.ruin them by having me in it. I did ask if I could be money penny. I
:09:23. > :09:33.said, why can't money penny be a man and have a crush on James Bond?
:09:33. > :09:37.She laughed, but not in a good way. You think that theory continues
:09:38. > :09:42.into children's books. Tell us about the baddie in your book.
:09:42. > :09:46.written a book called Ratburger, for children of all ages. I have
:09:46. > :09:50.never had an evil villain in a book, and this is my fifth children's
:09:50. > :09:55.book. I wanted to create some on Dos diddly, because the children's
:09:55. > :10:01.books that I loved, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the child catcher, I
:10:01. > :10:06.love a bad villain. So I thought, this time, I want someone evil at
:10:06. > :10:10.the centre of the book. It is this man called Burt, who runs a burger
:10:10. > :10:16.van parked outside a school, and he sells burgers, but they are
:10:16. > :10:23.actually made from rats. Why is that an issue? Because health and
:10:24. > :10:31.safety... No, that was the star of the book as a rat. I was getting to
:10:31. > :10:37.that. We finish at 7:30pm! I was only trying to help! The Hero of
:10:37. > :10:41.the book, Zoe, befriends a rat. Her hamster has killed at the start, so
:10:41. > :10:48.she befriends a rat and trains it, and Burt is after her rat, because
:10:48. > :10:53.it is a baby. A baby ones are more succulent. You are scaring me. We
:10:53. > :11:00.have some questions from viewers. There is a burger van man in the
:11:00. > :11:04.book, so here is another. I saw proper burgers. In your book, the
:11:04. > :11:14.burger van man is a baddie. Have you had a bad experience with
:11:14. > :11:14.
:11:14. > :11:17.burgers? Will... Do you both live in London? You know when you walk
:11:17. > :11:27.around the streets of central London late at night and there are
:11:27. > :11:27.
:11:27. > :11:32.men trying things? Always on the verge of being arrested. They are
:11:32. > :11:36.frying things, and you think, what is it made of. You would have to be
:11:36. > :11:41.drunk to buy one of them. I have eaten them on occasion and they are
:11:41. > :11:49.disgusting. You cannot tell what meet it is. The main character has
:11:49. > :11:53.a pet rat. We have a question from nine-year-old Neve. This is my pet
:11:53. > :12:01.rat, and she likes to sit on my shoulder, lots of cuddles, and she
:12:01. > :12:06.can stand on her back legs. Why did you pick a rat for Zoe's pet?
:12:06. > :12:11.Because it was not the conventional pet. Most little girls want bunny
:12:11. > :12:14.rabbits, gerbils or hamsters. Obviously, her parents could not
:12:14. > :12:20.afford one so they gave her a rat. I thought it was more interesting
:12:20. > :12:24.if it was a rat. And that would mean people would not want her to
:12:24. > :12:33.have a rat as a pet. She has a wicked stepmother who hates of rats.
:12:33. > :12:38.Who wants to hear some of the book being read by David? Give us a bit.
:12:38. > :12:44.This is a bit where Burt has gone to Zoe's flat to try and steal the
:12:44. > :12:50.rat, and he has it in his pocket and he is talking to Zoe's
:12:50. > :12:57.stepmother. Well, I tell the kiddies that they
:12:57. > :13:01.go to a special hotel for rats. Sheila laughed. I don't believe you.
:13:01. > :13:07.Yes, the little fools think they get to frolic outdoors in the
:13:07. > :13:15.sunshine. Before relaxing in a spa area, having a massage and facials
:13:15. > :13:25.and the like. But really, whispered Scheele, I pulverise them in my
:13:25. > :13:30.
:13:30. > :13:33.Ratburger is out in the shops now. This week we had seen some of our
:13:33. > :13:43.One Show gang take up the challenge of entering a village show. Let's
:13:43. > :13:48.
:13:48. > :13:53.It is the biggest day of the year in the village of Caddington, near
:13:53. > :13:59.Luton. It is the day that months of hard work comes to fruition. Today
:13:59. > :14:05.we find out if you have really got what it takes. Yes, it is Judgement
:14:06. > :14:11.Day. The village of Caddington is home to nearly 4000 people. There
:14:11. > :14:15.are shops, churches, two pubs and an excellent village show off. The
:14:15. > :14:22.show has been going for 10 years now, with all of the usual
:14:22. > :14:27.attractions. But the highlight is the produce competition. But this
:14:27. > :14:31.year, the locals have fierce opposition. We have been challenged
:14:31. > :14:37.to enter the competitions for the best jam, the best radishes, the
:14:37. > :14:40.best cup cakes and the best flower arrangement. We have all had
:14:40. > :14:46.masterclasses from experts in our categories, but today there are no
:14:46. > :14:51.professionals allowed, so we are on our own. We have 62 categories,
:14:51. > :14:59.ranging from jam, cakes, marrows, the longest runner bean, to
:14:59. > :15:03.needlework. People like to enter. Is it serious? Very serious. People
:15:03. > :15:08.say it is not until they walk through the door, but then it is
:15:08. > :15:13.serious. I like to think they are perfectly formed. We are gathering
:15:13. > :15:18.for motivation or huddled. We are live together, cars against them.
:15:18. > :15:23.And if we win, which I think we will, it would be tremendous.
:15:23. > :15:28.one gold medal between us. It would make four years of training
:15:28. > :15:34.worthwhile. Show time. The various competition entries are being
:15:34. > :15:39.brought in. Dare I think that I may have a chance? Well, maybe it is
:15:39. > :15:43.fair to say that an Lita's category is not the most fiercely contested.
:15:43. > :15:53.Now that I have seen the competition, fingers crossed,
:15:53. > :15:58.Some good ones here! The competition is clearly pretty
:15:58. > :16:05.enough. I mean, look at these! These are terrific. Last night, I
:16:05. > :16:11.was up until the early hours making 48 cupcakes. These are the best
:16:11. > :16:14.four. Vy to say, there's a lot of
:16:15. > :16:19.competition. I think my jam stands proud.
:16:19. > :16:23.Before we know it, the judges are upon us. We have to clear out of
:16:23. > :16:29.the room. All the entries are anonymous, so the judges will not
:16:29. > :16:34.know which things have been made by which people. That's carrot cake -
:16:34. > :16:40.that's lovely! There's a job to aspire to - a cupcake taster. How
:16:40. > :16:45.do you get to become a cupcake taster? The judges are all local
:16:45. > :16:50.experts. We are not allowed in here while they are deliberating. It is
:16:50. > :16:55.like waiting for exam results. I didn't think I would be nervous,
:16:56. > :17:03.but I am. Three hours later and we are allowed in to see the results.
:17:03. > :17:10.Matt is not looking very happy. didn't get a prize at all.
:17:10. > :17:14.that's brilliant! Third prize - I mean that's fantastic. I have been
:17:14. > :17:24.giving the cakes to people outside - they have been loving them.
:17:24. > :17:25.
:17:25. > :17:34.Seriously! I've just come second. I'm so thrilled! This is the funny
:17:34. > :17:40.thing, right, I know that Anita's radishes, she'll get a prize for
:17:40. > :17:44.those. How is that even possible! I can't even believe it! They won. I
:17:44. > :17:53.am not making this up - this is a really proud moment for me, because
:17:53. > :18:03.I have never been able to grow anything. Oh, come off it, Anita!
:18:03. > :18:03.
:18:03. > :18:09.She got first prize for her tiny radishes! So, we came, we saw, and
:18:09. > :18:14.in my case, at least, we conquered. Matt, your cupcakes - I think they
:18:14. > :18:24.needed a touch of apple and raspberry game. They needed more
:18:24. > :18:26.
:18:26. > :18:31.showbiz. They were ordinary. Which is i Ronic coming from him. Silver?
:18:31. > :18:39.Bronze. What happened to Matt? Where has he gone? There we are.
:18:39. > :18:44.The team and the gang. We are joined by them all. You were crest-
:18:44. > :18:49.fallen there. There was a theme apparently. Nobody told me about
:18:49. > :18:59.the theme. What about to the other 42 cupcakes? They have all been
:18:59. > :19:04.
:19:04. > :19:13.eaten. He couldn't give them away at the faith. Anita - winner! Were
:19:13. > :19:18.they a special type of radish? Microdiet radishes. Were they
:19:18. > :19:23.intentionally that? I have never grown anything in my life. That was
:19:23. > :19:29.an achievement. They were doing so well. You have to zoom in to see it.
:19:29. > :19:37.You were first out of two entries. We heard there were no other
:19:37. > :19:42.entries and they shipped some in... He's mane! Mr Dilger, tell us about
:19:42. > :19:47.the future and jam for you. Second out of ten, may I say. Apparently
:19:47. > :19:53.the taste was sensational, I am reliably informed. The reason I
:19:53. > :19:59.didn't come first is I didn't have ging ham cloth on the top. It is
:19:59. > :20:06.all about the taste. I rang up my judge afterwards, she said, I am a
:20:06. > :20:13.national judge, you don't need gingham cloth on the top. Would you
:20:13. > :20:21.like some proiz-winning jam? -- prize-winning jam?
:20:21. > :20:28.Well done! Now, all night tonight we have
:20:28. > :20:35.given David the chance to win the complete James Bond boxset. He has
:20:35. > :20:40.won the DVD case. You don't win, we share it out ten the crew. A movie
:20:40. > :20:48.each and then we swap. These are real props. This is the final one.
:20:48. > :20:53.Are you ready? Now I am informed these are suckers.
:20:53. > :20:59.These are from the set, but you have to tell us which set these
:20:59. > :21:06.suckers are from? Let me read the questions out. Are they from A, For
:21:06. > :21:13.Your Eyes Only? B, You Only Live Twice? C, Diamonds Are Forever?
:21:13. > :21:20.They are used to scale the skyscraper, so they are from
:21:20. > :21:30.Diamonds Are Forever. Let's find out if he's right or wrong!
:21:30. > :21:38.
:21:38. > :21:42.You get to keep the box.... I will be keeping it! Just to let you
:21:42. > :21:46.know! He has ordered them online, he has
:21:46. > :21:51.told us. I am keeping the box, just to be difficult.
:21:51. > :21:55.Now, David, we know you are a brilliant award-winning writer, in
:21:55. > :22:03.in fact this year you are up for the Roald Dahl Funny Prize. Even
:22:03. > :22:13.best-sellers can get a punning from critics. The Da Vinci Code was said
:22:13. > :22:16.to be for people who cannot read. Sometimes a stinking review can
:22:16. > :22:24.help. On the county Antrim coast and home to the woman accorded the
:22:24. > :22:34.title, "The worst writer in the world." An author for whom Sundays
:22:34. > :22:38.
:22:38. > :22:43.are sanityfyed measures of time and sweat is made from lather. Here
:22:43. > :22:47.name Amanda McClelland McKittrick Ros. She was called the worst bad
:22:47. > :22:53.writer who ever lived. You cannot get much more damning than that.
:22:53. > :22:59.She had humble beginnings. Born in 1860 she qualified as a teacher and
:22:59. > :23:06.married the local station master. She lived here, on this road in
:23:06. > :23:11.Larne. She had ambitions to conquer the litter rayry world. Her loving
:23:11. > :23:19.husband paid for her first novel to be published. So, an author is born.
:23:19. > :23:25.In Belfast, the central library has a dedicated section for her work.
:23:25. > :23:33.Irene Iddesleigh, it is her first author. What is it about?
:23:33. > :23:38.retiring bachelor. She Marys him. She has a child and -- marrys him,
:23:38. > :23:45.she has a child and at the end of the novel commits suicide. What are
:23:45. > :23:50.the key features? It is so bad it is good. The characterisation is
:23:50. > :23:59.carried to ridiculous extremes. The style is embell lished to a point
:23:59. > :24:04.it becomes bizarre. At moments of high emotion, the characters
:24:05. > :24:09.arelyable to talk for about two -- are liable to talk for about two
:24:09. > :24:16.pages. If a husband accuses his wife of being cold to him, most
:24:16. > :24:22.authors convey the idea in a few words. Not Amanda. "Was I falsely
:24:22. > :24:28.informed of your ways? Was I duped to askend the hill of harmony? The
:24:28. > :24:33.tree of triumph of and the rock of regard? When wildly manifesting my
:24:33. > :24:41.act of asession, was I to be informed of treading still in the
:24:41. > :24:49.valley of defeat? "A cop pi of this found its way
:24:49. > :24:57.into the hands of a critic. He slated the novel. Soon the name Ros
:24:57. > :25:04.was spoken of in bad tones. Parties where her books were read aloud
:25:04. > :25:09.became the rage. In Oxford, a group of academics held competitions at
:25:09. > :25:14.their local pub. First prize was awarded to the person who could
:25:14. > :25:20.read Amanda's work aloud for longest before laughing. And the
:25:20. > :25:29.laughter spread, all the way to America and to the man who gave us
:25:29. > :25:38.Tom Sayer. Mark Twaine's view - perhaps the greatest humorous novel
:25:38. > :25:44.of all time. The people who didn't like her were mainly Metropolitan
:25:44. > :25:54.middle-aged men. Amanda proved well able to defend herself.
:25:54. > :25:55.
:25:55. > :25:59.Amanda was very much a woman who went to war. She wrote a poem, she
:25:59. > :26:07.is more or less dancing on the grave. She had her fans. These are
:26:07. > :26:11.just some of the letters, begging for copies of her books and
:26:11. > :26:18.encourage -- encouraging her to carry on writing. Which she did,
:26:18. > :26:22.until her death in 1939. Mrs Ros had no doubt she was within of the
:26:22. > :26:29.brightest flowers in hereditaryry take. She predicted her work would
:26:30. > :26:34.still be read in 1,000 years. But Amanda may be disappointed, while
:26:34. > :26:40.early editions of his work fetch hundreds of pounds at auction, they
:26:40. > :26:45.are all now out of print. You see, sometimes bad publicity is
:26:45. > :26:53.good publicity. Apparently so. On Tuesday we showed you this old
:26:53. > :26:59.school photo, which was taken 75 years before the famous mo bot.
:26:59. > :27:03.Mobot. We asked you to get in touch if you were in that photo? Pamela
:27:03. > :27:09.Frankton got in touch. This is what she had to say. Hello. Sorry I
:27:09. > :27:16.cannot be with you. I was in one of the pictures you showed in the week.
:27:16. > :27:21.I was 12 at the time and in the front row. It was taken in 1937 at
:27:21. > :27:27.the Royal Wanstead School in Essex. I was pleased to see one of our
:27:27. > :27:32.moves has now become the Mobot. That is great! If there are any
:27:32. > :27:37.more of you out there, get in touch at theoneshow@bbc.co.uk. We have
:27:37. > :27:41.also discovered a place where the routine panel in 1937 are going
:27:41. > :27:47.strong, the The Royal Masonic School in Hertfordshire. Hello,
:27:47. > :27:55.girls. Hello. How often do you do this? 20 minutes. Three times a
:27:55. > :28:01.year. Once on the day the old girls come back and watch it. Do you know
:28:01. > :28:07.the history? It originated in Sweden as gymnastics in 1876.
:28:07. > :28:12.to you. Is it just you guys? There are 180 of us. What?! Yes. There
:28:12. > :28:16.are 40 reserves on top of that. my goodness me!
:28:16. > :28:26.I think we have some videotape of you all doing it. Give us a taster
:28:26. > :28:52.
:28:52. > :28:58.first. If we have time we'll play APPLAUSE
:28:58. > :29:02.Amazing! A big thank you to David and his