:00:16. > :00:25.Hello and welcome to The One Show with Chris Evans. And Alex Jones.
:00:26. > :00:30.Tonight's guest is such a popular man that he has his own cult
:00:31. > :00:37.following who take pictures of him and fold them up so he looks like
:00:38. > :00:45.this! And this! And this! But we much prefer him looking like this.
:00:46. > :00:55.It's Ross Kemp! I've done a few of my own. Here is Chris. Quite
:00:56. > :01:06.flattering. Still handsome, I think. I look like a Muppet. What about
:01:07. > :01:14.that picture though? Ross, earlier this month there was a surprise
:01:15. > :01:24.return by Jane Beale came back briefly. Would you go back to East
:01:25. > :01:29.Enders? If they have died, that's never stopped them coming back.
:01:30. > :01:33.Never say never. I had ten years there and it was fantastic fun. I
:01:34. > :01:39.still watch it occasionally when I am in the country. Of course, never
:01:40. > :01:49.say never. Have you been asked back? Not yet. Later we will be asking
:01:50. > :01:56.Ross about his new series, Extreme World. And we will be auditioning
:01:57. > :02:00.two dogs for a role onstage in an opera. And it Burns Night tomorrow,
:02:01. > :02:06.so we'll also be reviving the ancient tradition of haggis hurling.
:02:07. > :02:10.Jeremy Paxman can tell us the story are based special seaside town whose
:02:11. > :02:17.inhabitants found themselves under fire. On the north-east coast of
:02:18. > :02:26.England, 16th of December, 1914, was a still, misty morning. The first
:02:27. > :02:33.signs of anything unusual were the flashes coming from unidentified
:02:34. > :02:37.ships several miles out to sea. One family realised what was happening
:02:38. > :02:42.when a German shell fragment struck their house and smashed into the
:02:43. > :02:51.front of the family alarm clock, stopping it forever. That was at
:02:52. > :02:58.8:03am. It was the start of a voracious bombardment. -- Thoreau
:02:59. > :03:05.shares. The people of Hartlepool felt the full horror of modern war
:03:06. > :03:09.-- -- ferocious. Homes were death traps, but so were the streets. The
:03:10. > :03:19.German shells burst on impact, sending shards of hot metal in all
:03:20. > :03:27.directions at hundreds of mph. It was the first major attack on
:03:28. > :03:32.Britain since 1066. Many thought the Germans were invading. Terrified
:03:33. > :03:39.children had simply no idea what was happening. What did you think the
:03:40. > :03:45.sound was question -- was? We did not know. My older sister ran
:03:46. > :03:51.upstairs, and she said I think somebody's beating the carpets.
:03:52. > :03:57.That's what she said. So she goes up, and looks out, and she runs
:03:58. > :04:02.back, ma'am, the Germans are here. They are on the beach. Everybody is
:04:03. > :04:08.running away. I went upstairs and looked out the bedroom window and I
:04:09. > :04:18.could see the crashes out at sea. How were people reacting? Crying,
:04:19. > :04:26.the women with their prams, there was hardly anybody left in
:04:27. > :04:34.Hartlepool. People were scurrying along? Somebody came and said, oh my
:04:35. > :04:43.daddy's had blue. That frightened me. -- had blown off. Do you
:04:44. > :04:49.remember what you felt? You were seven years old. I was horrified. I
:04:50. > :04:53.thought they were coming to take us and killers. I was sitting,
:04:54. > :05:01.shivering. I was like that. Terrified. Thinking the German might
:05:02. > :05:06.walk through the door? I thought they would come in any minute to
:05:07. > :05:11.take us away. The children of Hartlepool were amongst the many
:05:12. > :05:15.victims of Kaiser Wilhelm's navy that day. Three members of the Dixon
:05:16. > :05:18.victims of Kaiser Wilhelm's navy family were killed by a shell
:05:19. > :05:21.victims of Kaiser Wilhelm's navy they ran for it, holding hands.
:05:22. > :05:32.George, his sister Margaret, and their brother Albert, aged seven.
:05:33. > :05:37.Their mother's leg was blown off. Suddenly the dead of World War I had
:05:38. > :05:44.different faces, the faces of British children. Four days after
:05:45. > :05:51.the attack, newspaper sales soared as the public read of the horrors.
:05:52. > :06:00.Over 500 wounded, 152 killed, and the eldest victim 86, the youngest,
:06:01. > :06:08.only six months. For most British people, what happened here in the
:06:09. > :06:11.Northeast that day was a war crime, and atrocity. A line had definitely
:06:12. > :06:20.been crossed. From now on, civilians in Britain knew that they too could
:06:21. > :06:31.be in mortal danger. Thank you, Jeremy, and lovely violet, who sadly
:06:32. > :06:38.passed away in November, aged 106. And the first episode of Jeromy's
:06:39. > :06:43.series is dedicated to you. Ross's new programme is called Extreme
:06:44. > :06:50.World. If you think, how extreme can it be? Here is a clip that might
:06:51. > :07:03.change your mind. Give it to me. You are holding us up? Where is your
:07:04. > :07:14.round in it? Show me your gun. Sit down! Sit down! Give money. You are
:07:15. > :07:24.going to kill me? Really? Are you going to kill me? Sit down. Are you
:07:25. > :07:30.going to kill me? We watched that together earlier, and I've never
:07:31. > :07:32.heard so many gasps in one room at the same time. Talk is through
:07:33. > :07:37.heard so many gasps in one room at security. What led to that? We were
:07:38. > :07:41.in Papua New Guinea, looking at what was going on in terms of the
:07:42. > :07:45.violence against women, and it is collision course. Culturally, it is
:07:46. > :07:49.so rich must only different languages and tribes, but it is
:07:50. > :07:54.sandwiched between Indonesia, Australia and has wealth in
:07:55. > :07:58.minerals. There's a lot of corruption there. We were looking at
:07:59. > :08:03.the effect that has on everybody. The violence against women is off
:08:04. > :08:08.the scale, I think. Those guys are rascals. They are robbers. They are
:08:09. > :08:16.tribal, and they prey on everybody from tourists, or on everyday
:08:17. > :08:22.people. What we hear about making a show like this, one is on similar
:08:23. > :08:27.shows, is the more security you take, the less of a story you get,
:08:28. > :08:32.and that is the fine balance. What was it like for you? We've been
:08:33. > :08:36.making these documentaries the nine years, 58 documentaries, and we've
:08:37. > :08:41.never had any security. Particularly with the gang programme. They can
:08:42. > :08:44.sniff somebody that seems a bit regimented, they suspect people are
:08:45. > :08:49.police officers. If you see that clip, that guy with the boom
:08:50. > :08:54.microphone is the director and the sound man, and the guy shooting it
:08:55. > :08:55.is the sound man, and the guy shooting it
:08:56. > :08:59.presenter. That's just three guys. You travel to six different places
:09:00. > :09:04.in the series, and you've seen an incredible amount of violence in
:09:05. > :09:08.every place. What is the thread that connects the violence in these
:09:09. > :09:13.places? It's not just violence. Extreme is a wide umbrella. It's not
:09:14. > :09:17.just extreme places, it could be an extreme view, and extreme habitat,
:09:18. > :09:22.anything extreme. It is such a wide term. You can use it insanely
:09:23. > :09:28.different ways. We look at a crack epidemic in Rio de Janeiro. And
:09:29. > :09:34.Ireland, some of the marching season behaviour is quite extreme. We want
:09:35. > :09:38.to look at that, and some of the views that might be considered
:09:39. > :09:42.extreme. We always make sure in the programmes we do on Extreme World
:09:43. > :09:50.there is one that is based in the UK. The one thing I would say that
:09:51. > :09:50.ties a lot of the programme together when we travel further afield is,
:09:51. > :09:52.unfortunately, poverty around the world and the separations between
:09:53. > :09:56.the haves and have-nots. Poverty, world and the separations between
:09:57. > :10:00.desperation, a lack of faith in the government. Wherever you find
:10:01. > :10:05.developing countries, a lot of countries that were occupied at some
:10:06. > :10:11.point, and imperialist governments, they often form new governments and
:10:12. > :10:17.eight generally have large corporations going in and they sweep
:10:18. > :10:19.the wealth of the country away -- they generally have. And alcohol as
:10:20. > :10:24.well. Bill Gates says he expects they generally have. And alcohol as
:10:25. > :10:31.there to be less poor country by 2035. Having travelled around, would
:10:32. > :10:38.you agree with that? There may well be less but there will still be a
:10:39. > :10:43.lot out there. He knows far more about it than I do, but I would
:10:44. > :10:44.lot out there. He knows far more suggest that poverty around the
:10:45. > :10:47.world will still play a major part in the suffering of
:10:48. > :10:47.world will still play a major part I don't know. I don't have the
:10:48. > :10:52.answers. We go there and try I don't know. I don't have the
:10:53. > :10:57.people in the UK about what is going on in the world. It is your 50th
:10:58. > :11:02.this year. You going to make it get killed somewhere? I hope so. Now a
:11:03. > :11:09.film about a dog that's pretending to be a cat. Yes, they say dogs will
:11:10. > :11:12.try to please us, while cats only want to please themselves. So when
:11:13. > :11:15.they had a feline role to fill on want to please themselves. So when
:11:16. > :11:17.stage in Glasgow, cats were told not to bother
:11:18. > :11:27.Italy in the late 16th century was the birthplace of opera, and here in
:11:28. > :11:33.Glasgow, Scottish Opera are creating a corner of Rome in their
:11:34. > :11:38.performance. The comedy opera was first performed in 1843 and is the
:11:39. > :11:42.story of a foolish bachelor who will not let his nephew, Ernesto, marry
:11:43. > :11:50.story of a foolish bachelor who will his love, but the couple tricked the
:11:51. > :11:54.old man to teach a lesson. The directors will bring their own
:11:55. > :12:02.vision to a classic, so how do you interpret this differently? Our
:12:03. > :12:12.story does not have a barren, he is the owner of a rundown and see only
:12:13. > :12:24.-- pension. He loves cats. But with a twist. He's allergic to cats. When
:12:25. > :12:30.Marina Chez -- Marina organises a sham marriage, he relents, and he is
:12:31. > :12:38.rewarded with a perfect gift. She raves with a fabulous present for
:12:39. > :12:41.Pasquale -- arrives. He thinks it is a cat, and he knows he's allergic,
:12:42. > :12:46.he cannot take it, but it is not a cat, and he knows he's allergic,
:12:47. > :12:51.cat, it is a dog and a cat costume. Responsibility for pulling off the
:12:52. > :12:56.disguise lies with an eight inch tall pet Chihuahua, stage name,
:12:57. > :13:02.Brigid. The length of leg is three and a half. How difficult is it to
:13:03. > :13:09.make a cat costume for a dog? You cannot control a dog's tale, it
:13:10. > :13:14.wants to pop out all the time. The first costume had legs in it, and
:13:15. > :13:21.the bulk of the fur was really difficult, and she was just not
:13:22. > :13:22.comfortable. So we got rid of the legs and made more of a kind of
:13:23. > :13:25.saddle costume. We were very fortunate to find a
:13:26. > :13:27.saddle costume. We were very was so still and quiet and
:13:28. > :13:32.saddle costume. We were very She was a good sport, I think.
:13:33. > :13:38.Ladies and gentlemen of the orchestra, your second and final
:13:39. > :13:44.call. Every member of the cast has a dresser, tonight I am Bridget's.
:13:45. > :13:53.Doshi enjoyed getting dressed? -- Doshi? Darling, it is time to get
:13:54. > :14:05.dressed. Does the tail wriggle free at all?
:14:06. > :14:15.It is the dress rehearsal, and tonight's soprano is handling
:14:16. > :14:20.Bridget. Is she nervous? I am, but the chances of the dog wriggling and
:14:21. > :14:26.making me nervous is quite likely. You obviously sing loud as there is
:14:27. > :14:33.no amplification. A huge climax to the peace, and an epic moment the
:14:34. > :14:39.people on stage. Call for Bridget the dog to the stage.
:14:40. > :14:47.He is telling the old man she should not have got married, and the
:14:48. > :14:52.He is telling the old man she should youngsters are getting married, and
:14:53. > :15:22.Bridget will soon be on the stage. Come on, we can see the shadow.
:15:23. > :15:30.The performances have been convincing but has Bridget pulled
:15:31. > :15:36.off her cat impersonation? I thought it was a cat, I am surprised to hear
:15:37. > :15:40.it was a dog. I was trying to work out if it was real or a prop. A
:15:41. > :15:47.lovely ending to a lovely evening. It was a dog in a cat costume.
:15:48. > :15:50.Amazing. Before we get on with our own auditions, here are couple
:15:51. > :15:53.Amazing. Before we get on with our people who will be able to tell us
:15:54. > :15:57.about great dog performances. We are joined by Sarah Fisher, an
:15:58. > :16:05.animal behaviour counsellor, and Toby Rose, founder of the Palm Dog
:16:06. > :16:06.Awards which celebrate the best performance by a dog at the Cannes
:16:07. > :16:08.Awards which celebrate the best Film Festival.
:16:09. > :16:13.APPLAUSE To be, how does a dog win a Palm
:16:14. > :16:18.Dog? It is like saying how does Jack
:16:19. > :16:24.Nicholson win an Oscar, it is that simple. When you see a dog, on the
:16:25. > :16:27.screen and there is a palpable sense of gospel, you know you're
:16:28. > :16:29.screen and there is a palpable sense presence of great canine performance
:16:30. > :16:37.and that is how we do it -- have you ever seen a bad job
:16:38. > :16:42.performance? It can be underwhelming. If you have
:16:43. > :16:53.someone who comes on the screen, rolls over and leaps up... This is
:16:54. > :16:59.the dog in The Artist? Yes. When we met recently, it was emotional. He
:17:00. > :17:05.is an example of star quality. He is very good, we also have a clip of
:17:06. > :17:12.last year's winner. So happy you could come. He is so mean to my
:17:13. > :17:22.babies, this is my family. This is baby boy. He is very old. He is deaf
:17:23. > :17:29.and he is blind. That was Behind The Candelabra with Matt Damon and
:17:30. > :17:37.Michael Douglas. The one who stole the show was baby boy. The emotion
:17:38. > :17:44.came out across the screen and I would call it dogrisma. It is an
:17:45. > :17:51.indefinable quality that asked judges picked up on. If you go to
:17:52. > :17:52.the cinema and see a performance that you liked, you would have
:17:53. > :18:00.witnessed dogrisma. Thank goodness for you this evening! There is a new
:18:01. > :18:06.movie out today, Inside Llewyn Davis, which stars a cat. How
:18:07. > :18:10.difficult are they to work with? Cats are really intelligent. If you
:18:11. > :18:16.find something that is rewarding for the cat, a tasty treat, and, that is
:18:17. > :18:22.what I want you to repeat, you can train a cat. Cats also tend to want
:18:23. > :18:24.to do things a few times before they go off on their own adventures. A
:18:25. > :18:27.to do things a few times before they bit easier to train a dog and
:18:28. > :18:31.to do things a few times before they like to be part of the social scene.
:18:32. > :18:38.Hence the casting of the cat as the dog in the film. We are going to
:18:39. > :18:46.audition two dogs for the opera, La Boheme. What is required? The dog is
:18:47. > :18:49.part of a really busy scene so we are looking for a dog that is
:18:50. > :18:55.confident in a busy environment, enjoys being around lots of people
:18:56. > :19:07.and one that takes your eye to the dog, so you gasp. Bring in reverse,
:19:08. > :19:13.with his owner, Tricia. I think he has got the job! Tell us a bit about
:19:14. > :19:19.him. He is a 14-month-old crossbreed, he is a friendly dog and
:19:20. > :19:25.brings a smile to people 's faces. We are going to keep it simple. We
:19:26. > :19:28.want to make sure he is happy in this environment. If you could
:19:29. > :19:38.want to make sure he is happy in him to sit, follow you. Sit. Sit. Is
:19:39. > :19:43.he going to do a little down? We want to see a dog that is not
:19:44. > :19:53.distracted by a new environment. Canny finish with a dance? The thing
:19:54. > :20:02.about Rufus, he is sort of haggis sized. Don't be mean! It goes in
:20:03. > :20:09.with the theme of the week! What did you think? We are not hurling him at
:20:10. > :20:17.the end of the show! Here come the lily and Deborah. First impressions?
:20:18. > :20:27.Very engaging, beautiful dog, lovely coat. She is two years old. She is a
:20:28. > :20:33.crossbreed and she is absolutely lovely.
:20:34. > :20:46.An honour, is she semi pro? -- Hang on, is she semi pro? She has done
:20:47. > :20:50.this before. You have a hard decision, you have about ten
:20:51. > :20:55.seconds. Less than that, really. There is one main role and an
:20:56. > :21:01.understudy. This is good, there is no loser. One of the dogs gets the
:21:02. > :21:06.job and the other becomes the understudy. Please reveal who will
:21:07. > :21:12.have the starring role. After long, lengthy consideration, taking into
:21:13. > :21:20.consideration the dogrisma of the two young lovelies, it is after
:21:21. > :21:27.deliberation we have to say Rufus. You wouldn't have thought that. I
:21:28. > :21:32.think we have got a Susan Boyle situation on our hands. You
:21:33. > :21:40.understudy, I am afraid, will be Chris Evans. Thank you for being
:21:41. > :21:46.here. They will be on stage in Dartford on the 23rd of April. On
:21:47. > :21:52.his radio show earlier this week, Chris launched radio to's breakfast
:21:53. > :21:58.show Short story competition which gives children under 13 the chance
:21:59. > :22:03.to write an original story using no more than 500 words. If you were
:22:04. > :22:07.keen on entering but stuck for inspiration, take a look at this. I
:22:08. > :22:14.have this little sister, Lola. She is small and very funny. Charlie and
:22:15. > :22:19.Lola, a modern classic, loved by children and adored by mums and
:22:20. > :22:25.dads. If stories like that inspire you to write and you are 13 or
:22:26. > :22:30.under, sorry, mums and dads, why not enter the 500 words competition? All
:22:31. > :22:39.you have to do is write a story 500 words or under. 500 words is such a
:22:40. > :22:42.good exercise. You have to think about the key thing that you are
:22:43. > :22:49.trying to get across. And about the key thing that you are
:22:50. > :22:54.trying to say with your story. What sort of characters have you been
:22:55. > :23:06.thinking about? Zombies. I am thinking of a nerd. It is always
:23:07. > :23:14.good to give your hero a problem. He had teeth in someone's body and now
:23:15. > :23:21.they broke. A toothless vampire! How digicam up with Charlie and
:23:22. > :23:25.Lola? It -- how did you come up with? It came to me anecdotally from
:23:26. > :23:31.my experiences of being a sibling. My sister was caring. I had a
:23:32. > :23:36.situation with fussy eating and she helped me out with that. She has
:23:37. > :23:41.big, black, round glasses. He likes playing with friends. She always
:23:42. > :23:55.likes to wear colourful clothes with pets. Sometimes with breakfast he
:23:56. > :24:00.eats fish and chips. If you are looking form or advice, who better
:24:01. > :24:05.to ask than the under nine category winner from last year was to
:24:06. > :24:08.to ask than the under nine category how did you come up with a story? I
:24:09. > :24:08.to ask than the under nine category looked at the winning stories from
:24:09. > :24:14.2012. I saw that most of the winning looked at the winning stories from
:24:15. > :24:16.stories were sad story so I thought I would write a sad story. My granny
:24:17. > :24:21.had told me stories of her I would write a sad story. My granny
:24:22. > :24:25.when the peer was new and beautiful and she had danced
:24:26. > :24:30.when the peer was new and beautiful ballroom. All that is left now is a
:24:31. > :24:35.when the peer was new and beautiful steel skeleton, all its history,
:24:36. > :24:35.lost. What advice would you give to anyone wanting to enter?
:24:36. > :24:35.lost. What advice would you give to write about something that you know
:24:36. > :24:41.well. Because it helps focus, write about something that you know
:24:42. > :24:41.because you know a lot about it. What do you think is important to
:24:42. > :24:47.make a very good story? What do you think is important to
:24:48. > :24:53.problem and you have to solve it. It is either food or a good beginning.
:24:54. > :24:59.A happy ending. I always like a happy ending. Thanks so much,
:25:00. > :25:03.Angellica. If you would like to enter that competition, thanks to St
:25:04. > :25:12.Margaret's Clitherow primary School, all of the kids and teachers and
:25:13. > :25:16.librarians. Go to BBC .co .uk /500 words.
:25:17. > :25:27.Why is my friend over here? I will tell you after we find out why my
:25:28. > :25:31.friend is over there? Tomorrow night is Burns night so why not try some
:25:32. > :25:34.barbecued haggis kid is Burns night so why not try some
:25:35. > :25:37.Traditionally made from the lining of a sheep stomach
:25:38. > :25:43.Traditionally made from the lining offal, it is not to everybody's
:25:44. > :25:45.taste. You like it? I am not a great lover of offal, think it is awful,
:25:46. > :25:53.but I like haggis, neeps and tatties. The whole proud Scottish
:25:54. > :25:56.nation will probably be rising up as one. There has been a lot of element
:25:57. > :25:59.nation will probably be rising up as in haggis. It is kind of the food
:26:00. > :26:03.nation will probably be rising up as poverty because it is made from the
:26:04. > :26:03.cheap bits of animals but now it is poverty because it is made from the
:26:04. > :26:06.a noble tradition. One enterprising poverty because it is made from the
:26:07. > :26:09.company has come up with barbecued poverty because it is made from the
:26:10. > :26:14.haggis. They are moving haggis on. We have luxury haggis, a bit like a
:26:15. > :26:22.luxury slum, frankly. Three bird haggis made with pheasant, grouse
:26:23. > :26:25.and smoked duck. You ignored the haggis and you ignored
:26:26. > :26:30.and smoked duck. You ignored the and UN for the potato... -- you went
:26:31. > :26:39.for the potato. That is quite Christmassy. Ross can try that but
:26:40. > :26:46.we need to go to Chris and Robin. Jealous of those guys. Why am I
:26:47. > :26:54.holding this? We are about to haggis hurl. It goes back to when haggis
:26:55. > :27:01.luncheon was thrown at the menfolk across the river. The men would try
:27:02. > :27:06.to catch it in their kilt but they wear a leather pad and that is the
:27:07. > :27:09.origin of the Scottish sporran, not many people know that. We are going
:27:10. > :27:12.origin of the Scottish sporran, not to have a similar game, you
:27:13. > :27:25.origin of the Scottish sporran, not catching for Ross, I will then hurl
:27:26. > :27:32.three towards Alex. Which is the most aerodynamic? Go over there. You
:27:33. > :27:48.are hurling towards Robin. He has got to try to catch it in his kilt.
:27:49. > :28:02.Under Ron OK? -- under arm? Band, do you mind playing? As Robin ever done
:28:03. > :28:16.this before? One, two, three. He would be no good in Extreme World,
:28:17. > :28:27.would he? Make it a good one... Yes! We have done it! One-hit wonder.
:28:28. > :28:33.Thank you very much. That is all for this evening. Thank you for being
:28:34. > :28:39.here. Ross's show is on 9pm on sky. Extreme World. Thank you for being
:28:40. > :28:47.here. Have a great weekend. We will be back on Monday. Who have we got?
:28:48. > :28:51.We are keeping it a secret! Have a great weekend, happy Burns night.
:28:52. > :28:52.One more time, take it away...