:00:25. > :00:34.Now time for the One Show with Alex Jones and tonight's guest presenter.
:00:35. > :00:42.And that was when David Niven said to me... Are you listening to me?
:00:43. > :00:52.Yes, yes. Stick with me, I know stuff. Thank God for engine noise.
:00:53. > :01:02.# shoot that poison arrow to my heart, shoot that poison arrow. #
:01:03. > :01:08.Shoot that poison arrow to my heart, shoot that poison arrow!
:01:09. > :01:12.Hello and welcome to the One Show. And, yes, ABC are back from the 80s
:01:13. > :01:18.and they will be playing live later. And here with me to kick off the
:01:19. > :01:22.bank holiday weekend, I am delighted to say is our very own Gyles
:01:23. > :01:29.Brandreth. Lovely to see you. I am as excited to be here as if I was
:01:30. > :01:33.Doctor Who's newest assistant. I am very glad you are my wing man,
:01:34. > :01:38.however, I think you would be the first to admit, it is sometimes
:01:39. > :01:45.difficult to get a word in edge ways. I don't agree with that at
:01:46. > :01:53.all... Just in case, I have got a Brandreth product. I prod and you
:01:54. > :01:59.stop. You will have nothing to fear, I will be on my best behaviour. As
:02:00. > :02:05.are our two guests. One is a marvellous, Miller fluent talent run
:02:06. > :02:10.theatre. The other is a wonderful writer and televisual top dog,
:02:11. > :02:16.responsible for creating dashing characters in Doctor Who, of course,
:02:17. > :02:23.I remember William Hartnell... It is Russell T Davies and Elaine Paige!
:02:24. > :02:28.Gyles, as we know is the keeper of amazing facts. We start with a fact
:02:29. > :02:31.each about Elaine and Russell. I know quite a bit about Elaine
:02:32. > :02:37.because we are old friends. The first time I saw her she was
:02:38. > :02:45.absolutely its dark naked on the stage in cat macro hair. That long
:02:46. > :02:49.ago! I seem to remember that once upon a time the great American film
:02:50. > :02:57.star Dustin Hoffman gave you some useful mentoring advice about
:02:58. > :03:01.auditions? I said I do not like singing in the mornings and he said
:03:02. > :03:06.you must demand that you only sing after lunch. I said it is all right
:03:07. > :03:13.for you, you are the famous Dustin Hoffman, I cannot pull rank. But for
:03:14. > :03:19.my audition for Evita, I remember that what he said, and I said, I
:03:20. > :03:27.cannot audition until after lunch. She said, you must be mad. But it
:03:28. > :03:35.must have worked. It changed your life. I am happy does a I have never
:03:36. > :03:42.seen Russell T Davies naked. But I have seen him once on Playschool.
:03:43. > :03:50.Yes, I dabbled. This is what he looked like on that classic series.
:03:51. > :03:57.I will give him a big smile. He has scored the winning goal for his
:03:58. > :04:05.team. I am really happy, I just won a match for my team. Why only one
:04:06. > :04:11.episode? I got cast and I did one episode and I literally left the
:04:12. > :04:17.studio and said, never again! How you do this job? You are geniuses.
:04:18. > :04:24.And that was Picasso's touch with the pen. That was me drawing with my
:04:25. > :04:27.actual hand. You two have teamed up because you are in a star-studded
:04:28. > :04:33.production of A Midsummer Night's Dream written by yourself, Russell.
:04:34. > :04:39.And with a bit of help from Shakespeare. Shakespeare's Globe was
:04:40. > :04:43.the setting for the finale of BBC Radio to's 500 words competition
:04:44. > :04:50.which has inspired children across the country to put pen to paper.
:04:51. > :04:53.After more than 60 million words and 50 finalists, this is Charlie
:04:54. > :05:02.Hickson with how this year's story ended.
:05:03. > :05:06.All the world's stage. Well, this bit certainly is. It is
:05:07. > :05:11.Shakespeare's Globe Theatre. The perfect stage for 50 young finalists
:05:12. > :05:22.who will find out if their story has been chosen in the 500 Words
:05:23. > :05:28.competition. I have been chosen as a judge alongside royalty, no less.
:05:29. > :05:36.What A full place to find a winner in Shakespeare's 450th anniversary
:05:37. > :05:46.year. There are two categories. The first winner of old is nine-year-old
:05:47. > :05:53.Evie Fowler with a hilarious league gruesome story about a pig turning
:05:54. > :06:02.the tables on a butcher. He could live without fear. Bacon, ham and
:06:03. > :06:10.pork chops. Other winners in the younger category where Katie and
:06:11. > :06:13.Fergus. I have always loved writing and what I was looking for in these
:06:14. > :06:19.stories was first of all, really good stories but you need
:06:20. > :06:24.interesting and compelling characters and you need a really
:06:25. > :06:32.strong central idea. To do that in 500 words is a really tall order.
:06:33. > :06:44.The winner of the older category is 12-year-old Ned Marshall. My name is
:06:45. > :06:52.Jacob Carter. I am innocent. This man will repeat his actions if he is
:06:53. > :06:59.found innocent. We see through you, hashtag guilty. Oh, my goodness me!
:07:00. > :07:06.He scrubs up well. What have you been reading recently, anything by
:07:07. > :07:15.Ian Fleming at all? Just checking! The Silver award winning story is...
:07:16. > :07:21.Other winners were Clara and Ben. House apprised were you when they
:07:22. > :07:25.said your story had won? Really surprised. My dad had prepared me so
:07:26. > :07:32.much more losing and he said we would get a treat if I lost. You
:07:33. > :07:38.will both win 500 books for your school and Chris Evans' height in
:07:39. > :07:47.books. That is a lot because he is very tall. I will get another shelf.
:07:48. > :07:51.Use it as a mattress. That is a good idea, a book bed.
:07:52. > :07:56.I listened to it all morning on the way to Oxford and the standard was
:07:57. > :08:01.incredible. You were gripped. Russell has done something very
:08:02. > :08:05.bold, taken the greatest story ever told, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and
:08:06. > :08:09.turned it into an electric television film. What have you done
:08:10. > :08:16.and why? It is a play I have loved all my life. When I was 11 years
:08:17. > :08:22.old, I was cast in this play and it changed my life. The community
:08:23. > :08:29.theatre made me who I am today, it is to blame, basically! I always
:08:30. > :08:33.wanted, for 30 or 40 years, I wanted to make this version. I think
:08:34. > :08:40.sometimes Shakespeare is on late at night, it is for adults. This is for
:08:41. > :08:44.kids and everyone watching it. It is quite a shocking opening and there
:08:45. > :08:50.has been some controversy in the newspapers because of girl on girl
:08:51. > :08:57.kissing. Oh, Gyles! Straight in there. People say he is a very good
:08:58. > :09:04.man, Russell T Davies, but is he fit to handle the Bard? In real
:09:05. > :09:09.Shakespearean circles they are not concerned. Every generation, every
:09:10. > :09:13.school makes their own version. If there were 20 schools putting it on
:09:14. > :09:19.tonight, there would be 20 versions. People are meant to come in and put
:09:20. > :09:24.their own spin on it. If I am macro and also, it is very acceptable this
:09:25. > :09:28.version. If you are not into Shakespeare or it frightens you, if
:09:29. > :09:35.you are at school it does, this is one of those productions that it
:09:36. > :09:40.trucks along and it is very accessible and understandable.
:09:41. > :09:50.Elaine, you have filled one of Russell's dreams by being part in
:09:51. > :10:05.this production? Together at last! I saw Elaine on stage in Caps in 1981.
:10:06. > :10:10.I was 18. -- cats. She is playing a part which used to be played by a
:10:11. > :10:18.man and you have turned her into a girl. And there is the wonderful
:10:19. > :10:28.Bottom played by Matt Lucas. And you are playing the Rude Mechanicals.
:10:29. > :10:40.And Bottom gets turned into a donkey. We will see how you get on
:10:41. > :10:58.down in the Lindley Dell. Oh, monstrous! We are haunted! Thou
:10:59. > :11:07.art translated. What do I see an the?
:11:08. > :11:18.APPLAUSE It is such fun. It is wonderful, a
:11:19. > :11:23.must see Shakespeare. Elaine, how did you approach the cheques be? Did
:11:24. > :11:28.you find it difficult? It is one of those things initially when Russell
:11:29. > :11:33.asked me to do it I thought, crikey, this is a first. I have never done
:11:34. > :11:39.Shakespeare before. Obviously, I know the play a bit, so I read the
:11:40. > :11:50.play again but I enlisted help from a dear friend, A full classical
:11:51. > :11:55.actor Nicholas Grace. He helped me and told me to tap out the meter on
:11:56. > :12:01.my leg. He said it was a wonderful way to learn it. He devoted a few
:12:02. > :12:06.hours of his time to help me. I am glad he did because when you get
:12:07. > :12:09.down onto the set, it is all about the pictures, lighting and whatever.
:12:10. > :12:18.You have to have done your homework and know what you are doing. It is
:12:19. > :12:22.pretty straightforward because this character has written the play, is
:12:23. > :12:27.directing it and is trying to produce this play for the Duke and
:12:28. > :12:33.Duchess on their wedding day at night. Bottom was the one who tries
:12:34. > :12:39.her patients because he thinks he can play every role. Once you get
:12:40. > :12:45.the hang of it, it is wonderful. Well, we look forward to seeing it.
:12:46. > :12:50.It is Monday night, 8:30pm on BBC One. We have not got time for your
:12:51. > :12:55.Shakespeare fact. We will get it another day. Before Russell came
:12:56. > :13:00.along with Doctor Who, well, he was famous in the old days for high
:13:01. > :13:13.impact but no budget special effects. -- low-budget. Can I tell
:13:14. > :13:21.you my Jon Pertwee story? Definitely not! Today, most visual effects are
:13:22. > :13:24.created inside a computer bit even blockbuster designers like to get
:13:25. > :13:35.back hands on a bit of string and some sticky tape now and again.
:13:36. > :13:39.I am a visual effects supervisor. One of the biggest kicks I get is
:13:40. > :13:44.when the audience think they are seeing something real when they are
:13:45. > :13:48.absolutely not. One day we could be blowing up a huge building in the
:13:49. > :13:55.middle of London. And then the following day we could be adding a
:13:56. > :14:00.CG polar bear into a shot so there is a big variety on a day-to-day
:14:01. > :14:06.basis. James Bond's Casino Royale has a great mix of models and real
:14:07. > :14:10.full-scale effects. In fact, it was so successful that we got a series
:14:11. > :14:16.of complaints from people. They were convinced it was real. A great
:14:17. > :14:20.compliment. I have been in the film industry now for 34 years. All of
:14:21. > :14:29.this, I must admit, I owe to one man who kick-started my career. My first
:14:30. > :14:33.job was as a projectionist but I took a real passion for seeing the
:14:34. > :14:40.special effects and films, and that was the kind of thing I always
:14:41. > :14:43.wanted to do. I heard from one of my schoolmates that his dad made these
:14:44. > :14:51.mini films with special effects and I thought, I would like to meet him.
:14:52. > :14:56.I had been using the garage for a number of years. It has been the
:14:57. > :15:04.German officer's unit, a set for the laugh this monster. Steven turned up
:15:05. > :15:07.one day and we came up with a great idea about making a film about Pearl
:15:08. > :15:12.Harbor with models. When I told my mum and dad and everyone that we
:15:13. > :15:14.were working on the warming of Pearl Harbor in Ian's back garden, there
:15:15. > :15:20.were quite a few raised eyebrows. This is where my dreams kicked off,
:15:21. > :15:41.you could say. It means a lot to me. How are you? Nice to see you again.
:15:42. > :15:48.Wow. It's not changed a lot since you were here. No. Amazing to think
:15:49. > :15:51.of the models we shot in here. Fires and explosions. The smoke effect was
:15:52. > :16:05.a cigarette. It was a cigar! Remember when we stuck some
:16:06. > :16:14.aeroplanes on glass? Against real sky. I must admit, I haven't seen
:16:15. > :16:18.the film for a long time. Have you got a copy? I think you would be
:16:19. > :16:24.surprised how good it is, considering the time we made it.
:16:25. > :16:41.Wow. Portobello beach? It is. The models on the wires in the garden.
:16:42. > :16:47.That was a good shot. The paintings. On glass. It gave me confidence to
:16:48. > :16:51.move other things. I knew you could achieve stuff at a certain level and
:16:52. > :16:56.it helped open a few doors for me. Which I am grateful for. You are one
:16:57. > :17:02.of the few people I ever met that lived a dream. You dream that you
:17:03. > :17:08.wanted to do this, a very hard business to get into, and you
:17:09. > :17:12.succeeded and you reached the top. It would be nice to do, for old
:17:13. > :17:19.times sake, one final visual effects shot. The old camera, like that, and
:17:20. > :17:22.then turn it like this. So it looked like the plane was flying
:17:23. > :17:25.horizontally. We should try something like that. That would look
:17:26. > :17:48.quite good. This is Colonel... Cut. After all
:17:49. > :17:55.these years, it's like turning back the clock. Isn't it amazing what you
:17:56. > :18:03.can do in the garage? Can I tell you something? You cannot, my friend!
:18:04. > :18:08.Russell, we knew you used to delight in adding as many special effects as
:18:09. > :18:14.possible to the episodes of Doctor Who. Is there one in particular that
:18:15. > :18:21.stands out as the one? My greatest special effect was getting Elaine
:18:22. > :18:25.Paige to stand up! How rude! The second episode was in the end of the
:18:26. > :18:30.world, when the world blew up, 4 billion years in the future. We blew
:18:31. > :18:39.the Earth. Billie Piper, Christopher Eccleston, happy days. Or just. They
:18:40. > :18:48.were my favourite! You can't beat Tom Baker! You must have stories
:18:49. > :18:53.about him. I will prod you! It is time to step back into the '80s, so
:18:54. > :19:02.get out your gold lame jacket and roll up your sleeves. Music
:19:03. > :19:13.# Shove that poison arrow. # That's the look of love.
:19:14. > :19:21.# The look of love. # Look of love!
:19:22. > :19:30.Lovely to have you with us. Lovely to be here. The new album is
:19:31. > :19:36.revisiting the Lexicon Of Love in 1982. What made you go back? A
:19:37. > :19:41.couple of years ago I was playing at the Royal Albert Hall, with Ann
:19:42. > :19:47.Dudley Campbell up to and playing the songs from the Lexicon Of Love.
:19:48. > :19:52.It would be nice to be an habit the songs and see what had happened to
:19:53. > :19:56.the characters, in 2016. On the original album, a lot of heartfelt
:19:57. > :20:04.emotional songs. What do we get in part to? 34 years later, do you get
:20:05. > :20:11.smarter as you get older or more stupid? I am in my 50s and I am
:20:12. > :20:17.wondering... Down the long and winding road, maybe I have learned
:20:18. > :20:22.about love. We really want the XYZ of love. You have been married for
:20:23. > :20:28.more than 30 years, which in your industry... It could be unique. What
:20:29. > :20:35.is the secret? How do you keep love alive for 30 years in your industry?
:20:36. > :20:41.After 30 years, most guys know, you are always wrong basically! Never
:20:42. > :20:47.take any other position. It keeps things running smoothly with Julie.
:20:48. > :20:54.On the whole, the women are right, listen to them! If you have a happy
:20:55. > :21:00.wife, you have a happy life. The way to get a happy wife, you say, yes,
:21:01. > :21:06.dear. The two strongest words in the language. Yes, dear. And thank you.
:21:07. > :21:13.Well, we you link to the next part, dear? ABC I going to be singing
:21:14. > :21:23.their new single outside shortly. Do you remember the 60s, Gyles? Do I?
:21:24. > :21:27.When it comes to airline food, we are long way from the days of 1960s
:21:28. > :21:34.luxury, with a carvery served at your seat. Today, it is designed to
:21:35. > :21:40.be as fast, but not as fast as the challenge we set two Michelin
:21:41. > :21:45.starred chef Tom Kitchin. I am on a flight unlike any other. You have
:21:46. > :21:50.heard of long haul and short-haul, this is microbe haul. This flight
:21:51. > :21:57.between the Orkneys is the short is in the world -- the shortest in the
:21:58. > :22:01.world, as little as 47 seconds. The man responsible for trips between
:22:02. > :22:09.the islands for the trip to school, the dentist and the weekly shop is
:22:10. > :22:15.Captain Dave Miller. I have done this about 5000 times in the last 25
:22:16. > :22:20.years. Pilots are responsible for looking after the passengers, making
:22:21. > :22:23.sure they are strapped in. It sounds like Captain Miller has got
:22:24. > :22:30.everything covered. There's just one thing missing. The in-flight
:22:31. > :22:33.catering. So the One Show set me the near impossible task of coming up
:22:34. > :22:41.with an in-flight meal that can be served in just 90 seconds. Whatever
:22:42. > :22:47.I do, it cannot be served hot. And there's no time for fiddling with
:22:48. > :22:51.cutlery. And it can't be too messy. Simple, right?
:22:52. > :23:02.The passengers, the diners, on today's flight include Baker Louise.
:23:03. > :23:10.We use the plane in bad weather to deliver our stuff. It is our
:23:11. > :23:17.delivery van. Student Daniel. I get the flight to school. Shop owner
:23:18. > :23:25.Charis. I use it for the dentist or to go to hospital. I use it to go to
:23:26. > :23:32.town for meetings and appointments. And taxi driver, crew member and
:23:33. > :23:35.undertaker Graham. I am looking forward to Tom's food, I have a
:23:36. > :23:41.great appetite and it has my mouthwatering. What do the
:23:42. > :23:46.passengers make my chances? It is too short comedy won't have enough
:23:47. > :23:54.time. The odds are stacked against him, but I'm looking forward to it.
:23:55. > :23:59.A three course lunch? Spot on. I wish I was as confident as Graham.
:24:00. > :24:04.After a lot of experimenting, with a start of file a pastry and smoked
:24:05. > :24:09.salmon, pulled pork and cabbage roll for the main, and a straw Baz room
:24:10. > :24:15.for the desert. Obviously no trolley on this plane. We are going to wait
:24:16. > :24:21.until the plane levels out and Captain Miller gives us the thumbs
:24:22. > :24:28.up. All eyes are on the captain as we prepare to take off.
:24:29. > :24:38.Covering just over a mile in 90 seconds, these guys have got their
:24:39. > :24:50.work cut out. They are really going for it. Graham
:24:51. > :24:54.is on his pudding. We are nearly there.
:24:55. > :25:07.Have we succeeded? Time to see if there is any leftovers. Box number
:25:08. > :25:12.one. Box number two! Aux number three. A couple of pieces of
:25:13. > :25:16.cabbage. Four and five, empty as well! You all managed it! Well done.
:25:17. > :25:28.Do they not feed you around here? Amazing result, and the food gets
:25:29. > :25:35.the thumbs up too. Top quality. The fastest and best airline meal I have
:25:36. > :25:38.ever had. I have a bit of indigestion now. A successful speedy
:25:39. > :25:50.feed. Enough to give you heartburn. A fax
:25:51. > :25:54.from you, Gyles. The chairman of American Airlines saved $40,000 by
:25:55. > :26:06.removing one organise macro from each salad in first class. That is a
:26:07. > :26:10.fact. -- removing one olive. Thank you, Elaine Paige and Russell. You
:26:11. > :26:16.can see A Midsummer Night's Dream on Monday at 8:30pm on BBC One. Thank
:26:17. > :26:22.you, Gyles, in your lame jacket. It has been a pleasure. We will be back
:26:23. > :26:30.on Monday with Sian Williams. This is ABC, from Lexicon Of Love II,
:26:31. > :26:36.singing the two. -- singing Viva Love.
:26:37. > :26:45.# You think the world will melt if you whistle.
:26:46. > :26:49.# There's a certain spring in your stride.
:26:50. > :26:53.# You face the future like a heat-seeking missile.
:26:54. > :26:58.# You've got yourself a smile a mile wide.
:26:59. > :27:36.# When lightning strikes you don't look for shelter.
:27:37. > :27:39.# You're floating free, gravity defied.
:27:40. > :27:43.# It's hell for leather on a helter skelter.
:27:44. > :27:49.# So steel your nerves for a bright white knuckle ride.