0:00:09 > 0:00:15This programme contains strong language and scenes of Repetitive Flashing Images.
0:00:17 > 0:00:23Belfast DJ, Steeky, here with tracks that will have you jumping
0:00:23 > 0:00:25like an depressive off the Foyle Bridge.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28But before I start putting on some phat tunes the night,
0:00:28 > 0:00:31I'd just like to give a quick shout out to my niece, Leanne.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34Leanne's got a big test coming up,
0:00:34 > 0:00:37so I hope you're doing plenty of studying, wee girl.
0:00:37 > 0:00:41But how much studying helps you when you're getting tested for AIDS, I do not know.
0:00:41 > 0:00:46And here's a man with a lot of heart, he's smart, he's a work of art.
0:00:46 > 0:00:52Sometimes follows through when he farts. You know him as Pablo! Respect, Pablo!
0:00:52 > 0:00:53Reh-reh-reh!
0:00:53 > 0:00:57On tonight's show, we have heavyweight boxer, Martin Rogan.
0:00:57 > 0:00:58Fisting fun.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Man of the dead, wooooooh, Derek Acorah.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06- Spooky.- Music in the Live Boudoir from Yes Cadets.- Sound.
0:01:06 > 0:01:11And our quiz, Brain Dead. But first, some music.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:19 > 0:01:20All right?
0:01:20 > 0:01:23- Late again?- Your ma takes a while to finish, like.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25You're mad as my da.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28HE CHUCKLES Classic!
0:01:28 > 0:01:32- Right then, come on. Let's do it. - Are you sure you want to do this?
0:01:32 > 0:01:35- Yes, cos I'm going to win this time! - Not a chance.- Right, go.
0:01:35 > 0:01:37All right. Let's count it off.
0:01:37 > 0:01:41Three, two, one... gay-off.
0:01:43 > 0:01:48- I washed my teeth special.- Oh God, you're not going to...?- Come on.- No.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52- You know you want to.- Go on, back down. Back down. Aaah! No, no, no!
0:01:52 > 0:01:54No, no, no! PABLO LAUGHS
0:01:54 > 0:01:58- The difference is, you actually want this! You want it!- Yeaaah!
0:01:58 > 0:02:03- Gay-off champion, 2011.- You want this.- One-nil.- You want Steeky.
0:02:03 > 0:02:04You want Steeky.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Somebody has to.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10I'd like to apologise to any epileptics who were listening last week.
0:02:10 > 0:02:15Apparently, it's disrespectful to use them as rodeo rides for the kids.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Really sorry about that.
0:02:16 > 0:02:21- My comments really seem to have shook some people up.- Steeks!- Oh, no!
0:02:21 > 0:02:24Sorry, I mean when some people heard them, they almost had a fit.
0:02:24 > 0:02:26- Steeky! - Ah, shit.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29- The lift's going.- Who is it?
0:02:29 > 0:02:34- It is none other than the hardest man in Belfast.- Martin Rogan?
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Oh aye. But I'd take him. Ha ha!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Our guest is a heavyweight boxer who didn't think he'd turn professional.
0:02:40 > 0:02:44Then he beat Audley Harrison to a pulp. So he's still not sure.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48Please welcome, from Belfast, "Iron Man" Martin Rogan!
0:02:48 > 0:02:51Yeeaaaah!
0:02:51 > 0:02:54- Smoking room, huh?- Yes.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56- Grab a pew.- Why did you keep me in the smoking area?
0:02:56 > 0:03:01Sorry, that's where we have a non-stop joint rolling operation.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- As we call it, the playroom. - HE LAUGHS
0:03:03 > 0:03:05So, have you been fighting recently?
0:03:05 > 0:03:10- I was fighting last Saturday, yeah. - How did you get on?- I won on points.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- Yeah!- Yeah! We were there.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15Lord Rogan, tell me this,
0:03:15 > 0:03:18what is the best Audrey Harrison joke you've heard so far?
0:03:18 > 0:03:22- The best...? - Do you want to hear mine?- Go ahead.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26What have Audrey Harrison and Michael Jackson got in common?
0:03:26 > 0:03:32They both wear gloves for nothing! Haaaaaa!
0:03:32 > 0:03:34- High five!- Very good.
0:03:34 > 0:03:39Sir Martin of Rogan, you have boxed in both the Immaculata and Holy Trinity Boxing Clubs.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44- Yeah.- Tell me, are they in the Protestant or Catholic parts of town?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47They're in the Catholic parts of town, they're in west Belfast.
0:03:47 > 0:03:50One in Turf Lodge and one in Lower Falls.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53Do you think that there's something about people from Belfast?
0:03:53 > 0:03:57We like a wee bit of aggro, almost? We're kind of good at fighting.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59- Never stop fighting, do we? - Exactly.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Thankfully, in the last ten years, we've stopped.
0:04:01 > 0:04:05You want to see Pablo's moves when he's practicing for his boxing.
0:04:05 > 0:04:08- Watch me go.- Look at that! - Left foot, right foot.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12- Left foot, right foot.- Look at that. - Left foot.- Beautiful.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Look at me dance. Look at me go.- Very good.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18Oul' Pablo here reckons that he might have a wee chance against you.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- I'll go easy on you, right? - Look at that.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23We'll fight Marquis of Sainsbury rules.
0:04:23 > 0:04:28- I tell you what we'll do, right? Just say, for the crack, right?- Right.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31It's the heavyweight Championship of South Belfast, right?
0:04:31 > 0:04:35You, in the red shorts. In the blue, Pablo here.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37- Well, brown shorts, really. - Yeah, probably.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Yes, they'll be brown after it.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Pretend it's the press conference, right, before the fight.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46Yous have done your weigh-in. With, you know, all your things,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49you're doing a bit of slabbering and all that there.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51Give us a wee bit of slabbering.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54Pablo's said he had a wee rattle at your ma, and she loved it.
0:04:54 > 0:04:57- He had what?- That's what he said. - I've had what they say in France...
0:04:57 > 0:05:03- No, no.- Petit...- Don't be saying nothing about my mother, now, Pablo.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Yeah, Pablo. Are they brown yet?
0:05:08 > 0:05:09Yeah.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11Have you browned yourself?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15You do not want to look around this desk, mate. I tell you.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17The smell's enough.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Would you like to visit somewhere?
0:05:19 > 0:05:24- Steeky, I think I've got squirty bum-bum.- Oh, you have? - Oh no. You have, too.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28I think you just... Never talk about the mother, now.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Talk about anything else, but never touch the mother.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35- Is it ever OK to beat up a woman? - Pardon?
0:05:35 > 0:05:40- Is it ever OK to beat up a woman? - No.- Not your mum, but a woman in general?- Never. Never ever.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42But what if she's a bit of a melter?
0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Sure we're all melters, aren't we?- Aye, that is true.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- A lot of men are melters too, aren't they?- Wise words.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51You're away from home a lot. You have a baby.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56- Is that not difficult for you to kind of cope with?- It does be, yeah.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59She lightens the burden of what I have to do as well.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03We have to work as a team. Just don't be teamworking in the gym,
0:06:03 > 0:06:05it's teamwork in the house, you know?
0:06:05 > 0:06:07At home, it's teamwork as well.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12I cannot imagine you swapping the aul' boxing gloves for the Marigolds, though.
0:06:12 > 0:06:16- You want to see me with an apron on! - Aw, mate, don't spoil it!- It's nice!
0:06:16 > 0:06:21You're my hero, like. Is it one of the ones with a wee pair of boobies and all on it?
0:06:21 > 0:06:22Oh, God.
0:06:22 > 0:06:25- Yeah! - THEY LAUGH
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Rogey, don't go away, we're going to play a wee track,
0:06:28 > 0:06:31it's going to just melt the bake off you.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Houl' on, here it is here.
0:06:32 > 0:06:35THUMPING DANCE MUSIC
0:06:35 > 0:06:37Get down your bad self, Rogey.
0:06:38 > 0:06:43One of the biggest tragedies, imagine if Rogey had a really good-looking daughter?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45- Oh mate, you just would not. - Pointless, like.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47- No way would you go near that.- No.
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Martin McGuinness's daughter's gorgeous, right, she's a model.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54What's the point? Looks are wasted on her, who'd want to go out with her?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57Imagine if Marty says to you, right,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00"I want our wee Marcella back by nine o'clock."
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Have her back by nine o'clock. - You have her back by eight.
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Oh, you would, aye. Aye.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08THEY LAUGH
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Martin, you have said, though, that you can't forget,
0:07:11 > 0:07:13but you can forgive.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17A couple more fights down the line, you'll find it easy to do both?
0:07:17 > 0:07:18LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Yeah. That's easy for you to say.
0:07:20 > 0:07:21LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:07:21 > 0:07:25Are you worried? Seriously? Are you worried about... do you know what I mean,
0:07:25 > 0:07:29you're getting punched in the face for a living! Is it not a worry?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32If I was playing hurling, you'd be getting hit with a hurling stick.
0:07:32 > 0:07:36Sure you go out the street in the morning, you get hit by a bus.
0:07:36 > 0:07:39Yes, but not repeatedly, round the chops!
0:07:39 > 0:07:42But the objective of the sport is not to get hit round the chops.
0:07:42 > 0:07:46But unfortunately, I'm one of them ones that block punches with my face at times!
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Tell me this, do you worry, or does your wife worry,
0:07:50 > 0:07:52about you losing your good looks?
0:07:52 > 0:07:56I never really had them to start with, so we're not too fussed on that one!
0:07:56 > 0:08:00Mate, I'm closest to him, I'm the one who's going to take the beating.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03- One thing I need to ask you, right?- Go ahead.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Well, right, I'm kind of scared,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08it's a little bit of a personal question, right?
0:08:08 > 0:08:09Hold on till I get a bit closer.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Oh, Jeepers, oh, mate. Right. - Go ahead.- Pablo, Pablo...
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- See before a fight... - Right, just say the word.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19..Is it true you're not allowed to have a wee bit of nookie with the missus?
0:08:19 > 0:08:23- Is that true?- It's not the fact that it's true, I think it's...
0:08:23 > 0:08:27Well, they say that most of your vitamins is taken when you do that.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30- It takes out all your vitamins. - What did you do?
0:08:30 > 0:08:35Did you do, like, abstinence, or did you, like, get a wee bit of nookie?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39- That's actually a personal question. - I just kept reading.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- What, Razzle?- A lot!
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Right. So you're allowed a wee ham shank, like?
0:08:44 > 0:08:47HE LAUGHS
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Are you calling him a wanker?
0:08:48 > 0:08:51I'm not calling boxing champion, Martin Rogan, a wanker.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53What did he call me, Pablo?
0:08:53 > 0:08:56No, I was saying that by him asking you did you enjoy a bit of
0:08:56 > 0:09:00five knuckle shuffle, was he referring to you as a wanker?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02I was not, Rogey, I swear to God. I was not.
0:09:02 > 0:09:06A lot of men like the five knuckle shuffle, it depends who's doing it!
0:09:06 > 0:09:11Is that why they bring a wee bucket on during the match?
0:09:11 > 0:09:13Just in case, like, a wee bit spilled out.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16That's in case you're out on your feet and they stick your head in it!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Give it a good shake.
0:09:18 > 0:09:23So, Rogey, where is next for your Lordship, His Grace, Your Benevolence, Lord Roganson?
0:09:23 > 0:09:26If we get the European title, which we're trying to get,
0:09:26 > 0:09:30then the only next step is a World Title fight.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- Woooah!- And then hopefully, I can close the gap
0:09:32 > 0:09:36and close all the people saying I should never have took up boxing,
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I shouldn't think of World Titles. I wasn't supposed to beat the others.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42I wasn't supposed to beat Matt Skelton.
0:09:42 > 0:09:43And I beat the both of them!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45BOTH CHEER
0:09:45 > 0:09:47BOTH: Rogey! Rogey!
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Rogey! Rogey! Rogey!
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- Martin, it's been a pleasure. - Brilliant.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Totally, mate.- And we absolutely love you.- Love yous too.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57I really hope you beat the crap out of everybody.
0:09:57 > 0:10:00Get me back onto the radio station, I want back up here,
0:10:00 > 0:10:04Bring me back after I break into the European title.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Martin, thank you so much. You're an absolute legend.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Tickets will be in the post.
0:10:09 > 0:10:10Good man. Happy days.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Don't hold your breath waiting on them.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Pablo, show the man out.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Martin Rogan there, ladies and gentlemen. As mentioned,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Martin has actually beaten heavyweight champion Audrey Harrison.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24Of course, these days Audrey Harrison has been beaten around the ring
0:10:24 > 0:10:27more often than that George Michael. But still... Moving on.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Martin, listen. Steeky's not looking and all but...
0:10:30 > 0:10:32No. What is it?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Can I have a hug?
0:10:35 > 0:10:37- A hug?- Aye.
0:10:38 > 0:10:39All right.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43Cheers, Martin.
0:10:43 > 0:10:45- Thanks for the day.- Thank you.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47- Take it easy now. Be careful now. - Thank you, Martin.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Don't go, Martin.- I have to go.
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Stay with us.
0:10:50 > 0:10:51Good luck. Later.
0:10:51 > 0:10:53See you later.
0:10:53 > 0:10:54- Bye-bye.- Martin?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Martin?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Martin?
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Martin!
0:11:03 > 0:11:06That's probably one of the biggest myths,
0:11:06 > 0:11:08the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11That is true, actually. The bigger they are,
0:11:11 > 0:11:13the harder they are to fight, cos they're stronger.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16I don't think anyone ever said that of Mike Tyson.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19Mike Tyson, he's a big lad, but I bet you he goes down easy.
0:11:19 > 0:11:23No neck, no neck at all. He just had a head and then a chest.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26He was just muscle. A pair of eyes and then a chest.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29Eyes and then nipples. That was it.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Now for our next caller, who apparently doesn't want to give his name out.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35'I'm calling in a bomb warning.'
0:11:35 > 0:11:37You what? I think you must have the wrong station, mate.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40'Look, just let the police know.'
0:11:40 > 0:11:42You want me to tell the police? Piss off.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45'Sean, Andrea, Caroline, Jim. Look, the police need to know.'
0:11:45 > 0:11:50Look, when the cops question me, I'm more quiet than a Jedward fan at a Megadeth gig.
0:11:50 > 0:11:54My lips do less flapping than and Stephen Nolan's belly when he's on a treadmill.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57EXPLOSION
0:11:59 > 0:12:01Now, what were you saying?
0:12:01 > 0:12:03'Doesn't matter now.'
0:12:03 > 0:12:05LINE GOES DEAD
0:12:05 > 0:12:10Now, on to the mystery quiz where our caller has two minutes to guess our mystery item.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Once more, we're playing with returning champion, Jez.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Jez, are you ready?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16'Ready!'
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Your time starts... now.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- It's something that people will spend their last pennies on before they buy food.- 'Is it water?'
0:12:23 > 0:12:27No, it's something people enjoy putting in their mouths and sipping on.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31- 'Oh, in that case...' - No, it's not that, Jez. Not that. They're white and orange,
0:12:31 > 0:12:33they aren't very healthy, they're cheap
0:12:33 > 0:12:36- and some people find them strangely compelling.- 'Um, Jordan?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38'No, wait. Is it a prehistoric monument
0:12:38 > 0:12:41'rumoured to be constructed by Merlin in Arthurian legend?'
0:12:41 > 0:12:43It isn't Stonehenge, no.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46'Did it ever get really drunk on tequila and do a strip in a bar,
0:12:46 > 0:12:48'fall on one of the bouncers,
0:12:48 > 0:12:51'giving him a cheap thrill and a sexual infection?'
0:12:51 > 0:12:53It's not my ma, no. It's bad for your health.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Some people think this is cool, but they're wrong.
0:12:55 > 0:12:58And supermodels love this for no apparent reason.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01- 'Um, Pete Doherty?' - Almost out of time here, Jez.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02'A packet of cigarettes?'
0:13:02 > 0:13:03How does he do it?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05'Ha ha, ha ha.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07'I am victorious again.'
0:13:08 > 0:13:09What?
0:13:09 > 0:13:12There's a lift moving. That must be our next guest.
0:13:12 > 0:13:13Who is it this time?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15It's a band, you're going to like this one.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- OK. Is it the Pet Shop Boys?- No.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19Is it Erasure?
0:13:19 > 0:13:21No.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Is it the romantic piano of Richard Clayderman?
0:13:23 > 0:13:25As much as I would love that, no.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Well, who is it?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30They're a band called Yes Cadets. Clap when you see them. Here they come.
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Right, OK.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33The Yes Cadets. Morning.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35The Yes Cadets!
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Hi, Steeky. Hi, Pablo.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39- Yay!- How are you getting on?
0:13:39 > 0:13:40- Aye, not too bad.- All right.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42They look lovely.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Told you they looked nice, didn't I?
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Another four young ladies.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46I know. Lovely.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Hold on, some of them have beards.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Lady beards.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53You in the red dress. What's your name?
0:13:53 > 0:13:54I'm Lisa.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Lisa. Are you the backing singer?
0:13:56 > 0:13:57No, I'm the drummer.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- The drummer?!- A female drummer.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01I have a weapon. You be nice now.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05Are the rest of you boys not manly enough for the drums, no?
0:14:05 > 0:14:10Anyway, you played the Oxegen Festival last year. Is that right?
0:14:10 > 0:14:11That's right, yeah.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12How was that for you?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15It was a bit like the opening scene from...
0:14:15 > 0:14:16Saving Private Ryan.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18What? People got shot?
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Right, tell us about the song you're going to do for us today.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26It's called Lies. Or "leys".
0:14:26 > 0:14:28And what's that about?
0:14:28 > 0:14:30He's talking all posh.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Have you got signed to a label? Have you got an album coming out?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35When can we see some more of Yes Cadets?
0:14:35 > 0:14:38It's out, or maybe it's not... depends where you live.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You're in the band, aren't you? You do know what's going on?
0:14:41 > 0:14:43It'll be out soon.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46If you would kindly now go and step into the boudoir,
0:14:46 > 0:14:47Steeky's boudoir.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50It's going to see more action than it has done in recent months.
0:14:50 > 0:14:51Watch it.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54- Thank you very much, Yes Cadets. - Thank you.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Pleasure.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59THEY YELL INDISTINCTLY
0:14:59 > 0:15:03- Give it a heap.- And if you feel like going tops off, that is OK with us.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06That's fine. But not for the blokes.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10This week, I'd like to apologise for shouting at Stephen Hawking
0:15:10 > 0:15:12when I saw him on the bus.
0:15:12 > 0:15:16I now appreciate he had good reason for not giving that pregnant woman his seat.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21Here, Steeks, did you know that if you drank, like, two bottles of vodka, you'd die?
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Of course! Who doesn't know that?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27My cousin Darren didn't know it.
0:15:28 > 0:15:30He does now, mind you.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Here's the lift again. - Who is it this time?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39It's that fella from Liverpool. The one who communes with the dead.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42Does house ghost busting!
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Next up, a medium. Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
0:15:45 > 0:15:47a man who communicates with the dead.
0:15:47 > 0:15:50So there's only one question we all want to ask him.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Just what is Lady Diana wearing right now?
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Please welcome Derek Acorah!
0:15:55 > 0:15:58CANNED APPLAUSE
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Hello, guys.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06What about you, Derek. It is brilliant to see you here in our city. Are you well?
0:16:06 > 0:16:10- I'm very well, thanks, Steeky. Yeah. Really well.- Excellent.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13You are no stranger to the good city of Belfast.
0:16:13 > 0:16:17Can you tell the people at home how you have come to know our great city?
0:16:17 > 0:16:20Yes, well, many years ago, Steeky, I came out with the great
0:16:20 > 0:16:25Alex Young, ex-Everton player, who signed for the Great Glens, Glentoran, player manager.
0:16:25 > 0:16:30And Alex was a good friend, and he asked me whether I'd like to come out to join him at the Glens
0:16:30 > 0:16:33and I did, and for the time that I was here,
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I really, really enjoyed playing with the Glens.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40Did you go out on the sauce, when you were in Belfast? Did you enjoy a tipple or two?
0:16:40 > 0:16:46Yeah, just like anyone else, you know. Towards the weekends, not in the week when you were training,
0:16:46 > 0:16:50but go out for a couple of drinks, and maybe a meal, and really enjoy it.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53A bit of music, dancing. That's what life's all about, isn't it?
0:16:53 > 0:16:57Are there a few little Dereks running about, probably in their twenties now?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00Ha, ha! Only in my family, Steeky, only in my family.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03When you were with Glentoran, did you ever play
0:17:03 > 0:17:07alongside George Best, cos I think he played a testimonial or something.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10No, I didn't, but I played against George Best
0:17:10 > 0:17:14- when I was at Liverpool Football Club under the great Bill Shankly. - Wow.
0:17:14 > 0:17:18I was playing for the reserves, we were playing up at Man Utd's ground.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21It was a Wednesday night game under floodlights.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24And Georgie Best was a young man that was coming through.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28He'd had an injury so they were playing him in this reserve game.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32And I had the unenviable job to mark Georgie Best.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35And he left me on my arse more times than I was standing up.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38He was that fast, he was that good.
0:17:38 > 0:17:41He was better then your Peles, he was better than Eusebios.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45Georgie Best was the greatest footballer,
0:17:45 > 0:17:47all-round footballer, and goal scorer
0:17:47 > 0:17:50that I've ever seen in football.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51And drinker.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55Unfortunately. How many players do have a drink too much?
0:17:55 > 0:17:56It's unfortunate and sad.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59Hold that thought, Derek. We're going to take a short break
0:17:59 > 0:18:03for a banging piece of hard house music.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04We'll be right back.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Like that.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12PABLO SINGS ALONG
0:18:13 > 0:18:17- To be fair, like, he was brilliant at drinking.- He was the best, mate.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Better drinker than Pele. Better than Messi.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23- If there was a World Cup of drinking...- He'd fill it up with drink.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Aye, he would.
0:18:25 > 0:18:26THEY LAUGH
0:18:26 > 0:18:29When did you realise you could talk to the undead?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31When I was a little boy,
0:18:31 > 0:18:33I'd had an experience at my grandma's house
0:18:33 > 0:18:37and a man appeared himself to me in one of the bedrooms,
0:18:37 > 0:18:40and I thought, there's a stranger in my gran's house.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43- Strange man in the bedroom? - It's not going to end well.
0:18:43 > 0:18:47It was my grandfather who passed away two-and-a-quarter years before I was born.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50I didn't know him.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53But you have, like, what, is it called your spirit guide, Sam?
0:18:53 > 0:18:58- Absolutely. He's here with me. He's here Pablo, here. To the back of me.- Where?
0:18:58 > 0:19:01- He's here at the back of me. - Hello, Sam.- Hey, Sam.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04- He can hear you guys.- Is he all right? Is he on good form today?
0:19:04 > 0:19:08- He's a good man.- Is he with you, like, all the time, like, you know,
0:19:08 > 0:19:13when you go to the toilet or when you're being intimate with your significant other?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16No, he doesn't. My private time's my private time.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19- Whenever you pass on yourself, Derek...- Yes.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Let's hope it's not for a very long time,
0:19:22 > 0:19:24who will you choose as your spirit guide?
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Well, I believe, Sam. It's going to be roles reversed.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31He's coming back in a new life, and I'll be watching over him.
0:19:31 > 0:19:36- So, watch out, world, because Sam's coming back.- Whoa...
0:19:36 > 0:19:37And this time, it's personal.
0:19:37 > 0:19:41- Oh, yes.- Do you think Sam might actually try to do you in, then?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44Try to, like, steal your body or something?
0:19:44 > 0:19:48No, no, he's a good friendly benign spirit man.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50- Are you very sure?- Yes. I've checked him out.
0:19:50 > 0:19:55- I've known him for a lot of years. - I've known Pablo for a lot of years but I still sleep with one eye open.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57And he is right to do so.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Absolutely.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03Can I ask, Derek, is he, like, in heaven, right?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Is Elvis, like, fat '70s Elvis,
0:20:05 > 0:20:08or is he like, skinny, good-looking '50s Elvis?
0:20:08 > 0:20:12Elvis, like anyone else, Pablo, once you go over there...
0:20:12 > 0:20:15when you go over there, eventually, you know, your good self,
0:20:15 > 0:20:17whatever age you go over,
0:20:17 > 0:20:19you can revert back to the prime of your life.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23So when Heather Mills goes, will she get her leg back?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Everything's renewed, Pablo. Everything's renewed.
0:20:25 > 0:20:29If you lose your sight, you lose a limb, everything's renewed.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- I apologise. That was quite a rude question there, Pablo.- I'm sorry.
0:20:32 > 0:20:37- Derek, a question that's been on my mind since childhood.- Yes.
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Do all dogs go to heaven?
0:20:39 > 0:20:43- Do all dogs?- Yes.- Absolutely. They've got spirit within as well.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46But their kingdom is called the animal kingdom
0:20:46 > 0:20:50which is separate to the human kingdom in the world of spirit,
0:20:50 > 0:20:54so the animals can't go into the human kingdom aspect or dimension,
0:20:54 > 0:20:58but the humans can go and play with those animals in the animal kingdom.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01So you can go in and take your wee puppy for a walk and all that?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03- Absolutely. It goes on all the time.- Brilliant!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06We can go and see Pincher again. He's probably...
0:21:06 > 0:21:10- if somebody came near him, he'd eat them, if they're dead or not.- True.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13- He was quite a violent puppy. - Do know what, Derek?
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- You see you believe in ghosts, right?- Yes.- Class. It's brilliant.
0:21:17 > 0:21:18You know you do your...
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- you know you took your Girls Aloud on like a ghost hunt, right?- Mm.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Were you tempted to touch any of them and blame a ghost?
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Well, in actual fact, you know...
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Yeah, all very pretty girls, aren't they?
0:21:29 > 0:21:31- Well, four of them are.- I didn't...
0:21:31 > 0:21:34Oh, Pablo!
0:21:34 > 0:21:35That's not fair.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Anyway, Pablo, you know, it's true.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40Had I intended to anything with those girls,
0:21:40 > 0:21:45I've always got my wife in the background. Imagine what she'd do. Even if I thought that way.
0:21:45 > 0:21:50- I'd have left her in the house. - So, Derek, can you see our souls?
0:21:50 > 0:21:55- No medium can see anyone's souls. - You can't see our soles?
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Your souls are hidden, but your spirit within,
0:21:58 > 0:22:00I can see what type of guys you are.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Would you like to see our souls? - You're totally different, you two.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07Am I hearing things, or did he just say 'arseholes'?
0:22:07 > 0:22:11Man, he's done programmes with boy bands. He should know what arseholes are by now.
0:22:11 > 0:22:13THEY LAUGH
0:22:13 > 0:22:16So, is there nobody in the studio right now?
0:22:16 > 0:22:17I've been waiting,
0:22:17 > 0:22:21but there's no one from the spirit world that I've stepped in, unfortunately.
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Come on, lads. Get that finger out.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Is there anybody out there?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Come on, please.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31Quick, Pablo, quick!
0:22:31 > 0:22:34See your left? There's an outline of a lady.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36I can't see her clearly,
0:22:36 > 0:22:39but I don't know if you can feel her spiritual hand on your shoulder...
0:22:39 > 0:22:44- No.- ..because she's leaning her hand on your shoulder right now.- Whoa!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47She seems a friendly soul, although I'm not seeing her clearly.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49She's probably part of your family.
0:22:49 > 0:22:53Probably linked on your mother's side, grandmother's side,
0:22:53 > 0:22:55grandmotherly feeling with her.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58I feel that she calms you down when you get angry,
0:22:58 > 0:23:00when you want to throw things.
0:23:00 > 0:23:04She calms you down, "Pablo, Pablo, calm down, calm down."
0:23:04 > 0:23:08It's not his actual grandmother because she is actually in Maghaberry for GBH, so...
0:23:08 > 0:23:13- it's probably not her.- To be honest, if somebody's calming me down, it doesn't work very often.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Right.- Isn't that right, Steekster? - That is correct.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19Derek, thank you very, very much for coming all the way over here
0:23:19 > 0:23:22and talking to us about 'our souls' and all of that.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you Derek Acorah!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29- Pablo, will you show the man out? - I shall.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Must be weird, though.- What?
0:23:32 > 0:23:33Going to work
0:23:33 > 0:23:38to an empty chasm of despair with the cold merciless eyes of the dead on you.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41I'm sure he's used to it. He's played Irish League football.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43- THEY LAUGH - That's true, actually.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Listen, Derek, thanks very much for coming along. Legendary.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Listen, you're not leaving anybody behind are you? - I promise you, Pablo,
0:23:50 > 0:23:54- I'm going to take any spirit people out with me now. That's a promise.- Sound.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- I've got to go now. - See you later, Derek.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59- See you, Pablo.- Bye!
0:23:59 > 0:24:00Thanks to Derek there.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03Derek's spirit guide, Sam, has designer stubble
0:24:03 > 0:24:05and likes listening to Shirley Bassey.
0:24:05 > 0:24:10Confirmed bachelor Sam is also a lover of musical theatre.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13And a big shout out to Tony who says
0:24:13 > 0:24:17after splitting up with his girlfriend, he's never going out with a woman again.
0:24:17 > 0:24:20Interesting. Do you reckon you could be gay, Pablo?
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Don't know. How would it affect my benefits?
0:24:23 > 0:24:25You really don't understand the gay thing, do you, Pabs?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28What are the hours like?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32PABLO HUMS
0:24:32 > 0:24:33Right, mate, what are we doing now?
0:24:33 > 0:24:38We are going over to the boudoir to hear that band that we seen and were talking to earlier.
0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Space cadets?- Yes Cadets, mate. Yes Cadets.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43- This is a song called Lies.- Yo!
0:24:43 > 0:24:44MUSIC: "Lies" by Yes Cadets
0:24:44 > 0:24:46# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:24:48 > 0:24:50# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:24:51 > 0:24:54# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:24:55 > 0:24:57# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:24:58 > 0:25:01# We
0:25:01 > 0:25:05# Don't have to worry
0:25:05 > 0:25:10# Though I sent the key to every city for free
0:25:10 > 0:25:12# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:25:12 > 0:25:15# Underneath the silver night
0:25:15 > 0:25:18# I'll be where you lie
0:25:18 > 0:25:25# You only have to close your eyes, I'll tell you what you want to hear
0:25:27 > 0:25:32# If lie-ee-ie-ee-ies are the only thing to keep you satisfied
0:25:33 > 0:25:36# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:25:36 > 0:25:39# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:25:41 > 0:25:46# If lie-ee-ie-ee-ies are the only thing to keep you satisfied
0:25:46 > 0:25:50# We can turn a flicker to a blistering light
0:25:50 > 0:25:54# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:25:55 > 0:25:58# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:25:59 > 0:26:02# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:26:03 > 0:26:05# We
0:26:05 > 0:26:08# Don't have to worry
0:26:08 > 0:26:14# You'll never have to burn another bridge for me
0:26:14 > 0:26:15# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:26:15 > 0:26:19# Underneath the silver night
0:26:19 > 0:26:23# I'll be whoever you like
0:26:23 > 0:26:26# Make up your precious mind
0:26:26 > 0:26:29# Tell you what you want to hear
0:26:30 > 0:26:36# If lie-ee-ie-ee-ies are the only thing to keep you satisfied
0:26:36 > 0:26:40# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:26:40 > 0:26:43# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:26:46 > 0:26:50# If lie-ee-ie-ee-ies are the only thing to keep you satisfied
0:26:50 > 0:26:54# We can turn a flicker to a blistering light
0:26:54 > 0:26:57# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:26:59 > 0:27:03# When we find love or whatever it is
0:27:03 > 0:27:06# I'll never give it all up, give it up for this
0:27:06 > 0:27:10# Just get down then get up and forget about it
0:27:10 > 0:27:13# Get down then get up and forget about it
0:27:13 > 0:27:19# If lie-ee-ie-ee-ies are the only thing to keep you satisfied
0:27:19 > 0:27:23# I know one or two to take you to a distant light
0:27:23 > 0:27:26# I know one or two to whet your appetite
0:27:26 > 0:27:28# Lie-ee-ie-ee-ies
0:27:28 > 0:27:30# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:27:32 > 0:27:33# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:27:35 > 0:27:37# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta
0:27:39 > 0:27:40# Da-ra-da-da-ra-ta #
0:28:07 > 0:28:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:10 > 0:28:13E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk
0:28:13 > 0:28:16There's a Girls Aloud concert on tonight. Do you want to go?
0:28:16 > 0:28:17Why would that be any fun?
0:28:19 > 0:28:23LAUGHS SINISTERLY