0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:07 > 0:00:10Five billion kilometres of roads network the planet.
0:00:10 > 0:00:14- Everywhere new routes are being forged through increasingly difficult terrain.- Whoa!
0:00:14 > 0:00:18- Across Arctic wilderness...- That was a game of chicken, right there.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20..over high mountain passes...
0:00:20 > 0:00:23That is as big a drop as we've seen so far.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25..and through dense jungles...
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Good work, very good work.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30These roads may be a testament to man's ingenuity
0:00:30 > 0:00:33but driving on them requires skill...
0:00:33 > 0:00:35I'm going to get out the car, I can't bear it.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37..stamina...
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Whoa. Andy!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42- ..and a steady nerve. - HORNS BLARE
0:00:46 > 0:00:50Comedians Hugh Dennis and David Baddiel are driving across Ethiopia,
0:00:50 > 0:00:54one of the poorest, most mountainous countries in Africa.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Whoa, look at that road!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Friends since university,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01together they'll cross death-defying mountain passes
0:01:01 > 0:01:03and bone-shaking landscapes.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08- This isn't a road, it's not a road! - We're driving across the moon.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Their journey will take them on an ancient route to the holiest city in Africa...
0:01:13 > 0:01:16All we've got to do is find the Ark of the Covenant...
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Look at it and not have our eyes burnt out.
0:01:18 > 0:01:24..2,000km on one of the world's most dangerous roads.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26A-A-Argh! Oh, God!
0:01:36 > 0:01:40Hugh and David are starting their journey in the capital, Addis Ababa.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42The car they're collecting is up to the challenge
0:01:42 > 0:01:44but what about David and Hugh?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Here rental cars usually come with an experienced driver.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49Hello.
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- Have you got a driver? - No, we're driving.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- From here to Aksum?!- Yes.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56- Sort of...- Have you done it before? - No.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- But people do this road, don't they? - They do. Locals do it, I do it.
0:01:59 > 0:02:05But I'll totally and honestly tell you - the road is very dangerous,
0:02:05 > 0:02:08- so you have to be really, really, REALLY careful.- OK.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11When I told my partner I was doing this, she just said, "Don't."
0:02:11 > 0:02:13She said, "Don't do it, don't be ridiculous,"
0:02:13 > 0:02:16because people think that I create disaster wherever I go,
0:02:16 > 0:02:17and there is some truth in that,
0:02:17 > 0:02:20and then when I said I was going with Hugh,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23there was a sense of, "OK, that will be all right, then,
0:02:23 > 0:02:25"cos he's sensible and can deal with a situation,"
0:02:25 > 0:02:27which is good, cos I'm none of those things.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29- What if we hit an animal? - You pay for it.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31You pay for the animal or...?
0:02:31 > 0:02:35- And the price goes up three, four times when it dies.- Really?- Yeah.
0:02:35 > 0:02:39- How much does a goat cost? - A goat could cost you £50-60.
0:02:39 > 0:02:42- If we kill one, can we eat it? - Of course.- That's all right, then.
0:02:42 > 0:02:46'I think the main danger is possibly David.'
0:02:46 > 0:02:48It's got a very comfortable driving position.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50That's what I'm slightly nervous about,
0:02:50 > 0:02:54cos the last time I drove with him in England, he drove into a gate.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58I've chosen you to do the first bit of driving, so...
0:02:58 > 0:03:02Look, we're away. That was beautifully done. That junction was beautiful.
0:03:02 > 0:03:04I did that magnificently.
0:03:04 > 0:03:09The thing to do, I think, is to use the other cars as a sort of shield.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Whoa! Hey!
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Early doors accident.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- You're going to have to drive in a minute.- I know.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22For the next week, Hugh and David will drive from Addis
0:03:22 > 0:03:24to the ancient city of Aksum.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28They'll follow primitive pilgrimage routes,
0:03:28 > 0:03:30lethal roads left by invading armies,
0:03:30 > 0:03:33and perilous communist-built highways.
0:03:34 > 0:03:38Their goal is to reach the holiest place in the land - Aksum,
0:03:38 > 0:03:41known as the home of the Ark of the Covenant.
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- Shall we change drivers? - Would you forgive me
0:03:44 > 0:03:47if I said this is the bit I've not been looking forward to?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49It's only cos you hit that post!
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Before getting into comedy, these two met at university
0:03:56 > 0:03:58and have been mates ever since.
0:03:58 > 0:04:01So you had to get in - you're on the wrong side of the road!
0:04:01 > 0:04:05- What side of the road am I meant to be on?! - THEY LAUGH
0:04:05 > 0:04:07- God!- Oh, no.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- I'm all right.- You know what would be a good thing to do now?- What?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13- Would be to switch off the indicator.- OK.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16Nearly 30 years on
0:04:16 > 0:04:20and they find themselves on the trail of a religious relic
0:04:20 > 0:04:21that has acquired mythical status
0:04:21 > 0:04:25and is believed to contain the Ten Commandments.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- What is the Ark? What is the Ark? - It says...
0:04:28 > 0:04:32The Old Testament says the Ark was constructed on Mount Sinai by Moses
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- and it houses two stone tablets. Oh, so they're in there.- Bollocks!
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- Are you doubting the guide book? - The Ten Commandments are in Aksum?
0:04:40 > 0:04:41The Ten Commandments are, yeah.
0:04:42 > 0:04:47So today, every other Ethiopian church has a replica of the Ark.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49Isn't that the plot of Raiders Of The Lost Ark?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Raiders Of The Lost Ark is all about getting the Ark of the Covenant
0:04:52 > 0:04:55but I feel we're in it now. This is our little version.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I'm not planning to steal the Ark of the Covenant on the last day.
0:04:58 > 0:05:02- That would be brilliant though.- And bring it back to Addis Ababa airport!
0:05:10 > 0:05:13100km out of Addis,
0:05:13 > 0:05:17they get their first taste of the grandeur of Ethiopia's highlands.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22They have reached the rim of the gigantic Jema Gorge.
0:05:26 > 0:05:30- Look at that. Look at that view! - Oh, my... Jesus! Good Lord!
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Whoa, I'm quite frightened.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40Amazing, amazing view, isn't it? Isn't it incredible?
0:05:40 > 0:05:41It's fantastic, isn't it?
0:05:45 > 0:05:48- That looks really American, doesn't it?- It does look very like the Grand Canyon.
0:05:48 > 0:05:51What would have created this enormous hole?
0:05:51 > 0:05:54- Water.- Water? When?
0:05:54 > 0:05:59Over millions and millions of years, cutting down from...here.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02I can't get that near to the edge.
0:06:02 > 0:06:06I get this feeling in my groin. That near to...I don't like.
0:06:06 > 0:06:11And, if you look closely, the sun is vanishing past that mountain.
0:06:11 > 0:06:15I don't want to put the tent up in darkness, so let's go.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- Can I tell you a bit more about sedimentary rocks?- No.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Not the layering?- No.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24- What about the down-cutting of the river?- No!
0:06:29 > 0:06:32In this remote area, there's nowhere to stay,
0:06:32 > 0:06:36so tonight Hugh and David are going to have to rough it by the roadside.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Whoa, look at that road.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- OK, I'm going to go a tiny bit slower.- That's fine with me.- Yeah!
0:06:52 > 0:06:54That is a cliff face and a half.
0:06:54 > 0:07:00- How much daylight have we got left? - I don't know. What time does it get dark? Six o'clock?- Half six.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03The problem is that this close to the equator,
0:07:03 > 0:07:05night comes really quickly
0:07:05 > 0:07:08so they'll have to make camp in the dark.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10I am going very slowly.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12- You've got about another four feet. - Oh, have I?
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Keep going, keep going, stop.
0:07:15 > 0:07:18I'm going to get the tent out.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20Right, here we are.
0:07:20 > 0:07:24- OK.- You do realise, David, that the point of a head torch
0:07:24 > 0:07:27is that it's pointing in the direction you're walking.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30- Where was it pointing? - It was, like, there!
0:07:30 > 0:07:34- DAVID LAUGHS How is that of any use? - That looks kind of jaunty!
0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Is that a ground sheet? - No, that's a tent, isn't it(?)
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Hold that.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47This is the most intrepid I've ever been.
0:07:47 > 0:07:53- Are you going to cook on this fire later? That's what I'm expecting. - I might be cooking YOU on this fire.
0:07:53 > 0:07:55I think you'd make really nice crackling.
0:07:55 > 0:07:57Yeah, I do, actually.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01- I love a bit of crackling. - Yeah, what I meant...
0:08:01 > 0:08:03Agh! Argh!
0:08:03 > 0:08:05What the ... was that?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07THEY LAUGH
0:08:08 > 0:08:11- Oh, there it is. - It's like a butterfly.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12No, it's a moth.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15It's the kind of thing that, in daylight, you'd go,
0:08:15 > 0:08:17"Oh, how beautiful," but at night, you go...
0:08:17 > 0:08:20HUGH SCREAMS
0:08:20 > 0:08:21Oh, dear.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Just for a second there, with the fire and the tent and the outback,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27I thought I'd come across as a real man
0:08:27 > 0:08:31and then I screamed because a moth touched me.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34You see the stars?
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Stars are always amazing in places like this. In Africa.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51I slept quite badly last night.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I took quite a truckload of various different tranquilisers
0:08:54 > 0:08:56and still slept quite badly.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01Also, it's been difficult because of the toilet arrangements here.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04It has involved disappearing with a toilet roll
0:09:04 > 0:09:06to try and find a private space.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08And one of the things I've noticed about Ethiopians,
0:09:08 > 0:09:11who are a very, very lovely bunch of people,
0:09:11 > 0:09:13is they have a habit of sneaking up on you.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16Like, you don't expect it and suddenly you look round
0:09:16 > 0:09:19and there are six or seven children staring at you, quizzically.
0:09:19 > 0:09:23So, each time I've gone off for that private moment,
0:09:23 > 0:09:27I've been very worried that's about to happen.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Hugh and David's goal today is to do 150km to the town of Dese.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37This land is high, arid
0:09:37 > 0:09:39and still bears the scars of countless battles.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44- Oh, my God there's a tank!- I want to go and look.- There is a tank.
0:09:44 > 0:09:48- Can I...?- We have to stop and look at the tank.
0:09:49 > 0:09:53By the roadside, there's a reminder of the country's bloody civil war.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56The war started in 1974,
0:09:56 > 0:09:59when Haile Selassie, the last Emperor of Ethiopia,
0:09:59 > 0:10:03was overthrown by the Derg, a Marxist regime.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07For over a decade there was bitter fighting
0:10:07 > 0:10:09as local militia fought the communists.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Ethiopia's had lots of wars.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18They had a civil war, didn't they, in the early '80s.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Surely where there are tanks, there might be landmines?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Well, it's unlikely, actually.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Someone has nicked its wheels.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28That will happen if you park somewhere for a long time!
0:10:28 > 0:10:32- A massive round has gone through the side of this.- OK.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35So, this is a communist tank?
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Well, it was a communist government, wasn't it?
0:10:38 > 0:10:40So, it would have had Russian military aid.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44- So, the Russian's were giving arms to the communist government? - I imagine so.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46That's kind of what they did round the world, isn't it?
0:10:46 > 0:10:48We should go, I think.
0:10:52 > 0:10:56It's one of the busiest days of the week - market day -
0:10:56 > 0:10:59and a chance for David and Hugh to learn the rules of the road
0:10:59 > 0:11:00Ethiopia style.
0:11:00 > 0:11:06With just three cars for every 1,000 people, livestock take priority.
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Oh, my God, that donkey swerved in front of us!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Look out, cows.
0:11:12 > 0:11:14Goodness me! Come on, guys.
0:11:14 > 0:11:17HORN BEEPS
0:11:17 > 0:11:20They're not the fastest-moving animals in the world.
0:11:20 > 0:11:25- What's the advantage to them getting out our way?- Well, I could kill them.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28This is the hardest I've ever been, by the way.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39The road they're on was built after the terrible famine in the 1980s
0:11:39 > 0:11:43to create access for vital aid to Dese and the surrounding area.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47The threat of drought still haunts Ethiopia
0:11:47 > 0:11:49and this road is a lifeline.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Are we going to stop at a house?
0:11:59 > 0:12:00- It would be good.- No, no, it would.
0:12:00 > 0:12:04We've so many of these small villages.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Small thatched settlements.
0:12:07 > 0:12:08I'd like to stop.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20This is the sort of village that we've seen before
0:12:20 > 0:12:21but not actually been inside.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Hello. What are your names?
0:12:25 > 0:12:27- Devrie.- Devrie, I'm David.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29David. What's your name?
0:12:29 > 0:12:32- Sesay.- Sesay?- Hugh.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Devrie, Sesay...?
0:12:34 > 0:12:38- Larege.- Larege?- Larege.- Larege.
0:12:38 > 0:12:43Does everything happen in this one room? Are they for sleeping in?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45TRANSLATION:
0:12:45 > 0:12:46And do you use that?
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- That's brilliant!- It's an LED and the battery is a little 9 volt.
0:12:52 > 0:12:53What work do you do?
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Has this new road changed the village?
0:13:13 > 0:13:15- Beautiful. - Yes, it's beautiful, isn't it?
0:13:15 > 0:13:16We have a long journey ahead.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Thank you very much. - We've seen inside a lovely house.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Thank you, bye-bye.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Isn't it amazing that they'd welcome you into their house?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I mean, if someone came to your house in London and went,
0:13:26 > 0:13:28"Excuse me, can I come in?
0:13:28 > 0:13:33"Can we ask you some questions about what you do, how do you earn money,
0:13:33 > 0:13:34"how far is it to the nearest shop?"
0:13:34 > 0:13:36DAVID LAUGHS
0:13:36 > 0:13:39"Since the road's been built, have you noticed a change in your life?"
0:13:39 > 0:13:40Yeah.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46The boys are desperate to get to their hotel in Dese
0:13:46 > 0:13:48but they still have a narrow mountain pass to cross.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54When it gets dark, it's going to be properly horrible
0:13:54 > 0:13:57cos you're not going to be able to see where the road goes at all.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59That barrier is not going to stop anyone if we did crash through.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01No, not really.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03In the dark, on the top of a cliff.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05I don't like the cliff edge at all.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09You can see, there's some people on the right-hand side.
0:14:09 > 0:14:12Yeah, I've got them but I don't want to take them too.
0:14:12 > 0:14:13Car approaching.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17- Yeah, is that moving or...? - It's moving, yeah.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21We can't get through that, can we?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25No, there's a cliff edge there, and he's asking us to go through there.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26I'm not doing it.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- OK, well, what are we going to do? He wants us to do it.- That is mad.
0:14:33 > 0:14:34OK, hold on.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38- You going to do it?- Yeah. - OK, go very close to him.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm going to, don't worry.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- As close as... - Yeah, you're fine.- OK.
0:14:50 > 0:14:52I wonder if we should pull over.
0:14:52 > 0:14:55If you're going to pull over, let's pull over now.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- Oi, OK.- OK.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I'm going to get out the car.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03I'm going to get out the car. I can't bear it.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- There's nothing much else I can do. - OK.
0:15:09 > 0:15:11I'm finding it traumatic, genuinely.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- This is bonkers. - This is totally bonkers.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Next morning, Hugh and David begin heading north, towards Lalibela.
0:15:28 > 0:15:32They're taking a road built by foreign military powers.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36In the 1930s, the Italian fascist leader Mussolini
0:15:36 > 0:15:39colonised neighbouring Somalia and Eritrea.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42In 1936, he invaded Ethiopia.
0:15:44 > 0:15:48In just five years, 60,000 Italian labourers
0:15:48 > 0:15:50built roads all over the country.
0:15:52 > 0:15:54How does it benefit Mussolini, Italy,
0:15:54 > 0:15:57to be building roads in Ethiopia?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Is it to say to the local population,
0:15:59 > 0:16:02"Look, if you let us rule you, you can have things like roads?"
0:16:02 > 0:16:06No, it's to say, "Here's a road we're going to send some tanks down
0:16:06 > 0:16:09"and we can get stuff in and out and our troops can move round quickly."
0:16:09 > 0:16:13So it's purely just so that they can rape and pillage off the road.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16It makes it much easier to rule a country if you've got a good road system.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20But as Hugh and David are about to discover,
0:16:20 > 0:16:22it's not as safe as it might look.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27The road cuts through and area where khat, a legal natural amphetamine,
0:16:27 > 0:16:29is grown and sold by the roadside.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Look, here's a massive khat stall.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39When are WE going to get some khat?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Particularly, I want to give YOU some khat.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43- Why, do you want to see what happens?- So you go crazy.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Don't get me wrong, but I imagine you're a very drug-free type of fellow?
0:16:49 > 0:16:54I should think, probably, in my life, I've had about ten paracetamols.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58- I've had less paracetamol than you've had in the last two days. - That's true.
0:16:58 > 0:17:01With my terrible, drug-addled palate.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03There's a lot of khat there.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06That's a HUGE bunch of khat being sold.
0:17:13 > 0:17:16- Hello.- Hello.- Hi. Is this khat?
0:17:16 > 0:17:17Can we buy some khat?
0:17:17 > 0:17:21We'll have that, OK. How much is that?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25There you go, sir. There's 100 birr for you.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27Thank you. Can I ask you a question?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30You sell here every day? You sell this stuff every day?
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Every day you come here?
0:17:32 > 0:17:34And do the truck drivers stop?
0:17:36 > 0:17:37Minibus drivers?
0:17:37 > 0:17:41How does it make you feel? Will he go crazy?
0:17:41 > 0:17:43- Will I go crazy?- Will he go crazy?
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Sometimes I'll go crazy.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Keep up my brain?
0:17:50 > 0:17:53I think I'll probably just keep down my brain by eating that.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57OK, well, thank you very much. Thank you, sir. Thank you.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59You're never, ever going to sleep again.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09How are you feeling?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13- Well...I'm still eating it. - I've noticed that.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Now that I'm starting to eat what is basically a bit of tree...
0:18:16 > 0:18:17You know what it is actually like?
0:18:17 > 0:18:20It is like sitting next to a panda.
0:18:20 > 0:18:22DAVID CHUCKLES
0:18:22 > 0:18:24That's what pandas look like.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27Yeah. What? What do you mean, that's what pandas look like?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30I haven't got big black eyes and fur?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32You've got white patches, though, here.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34DAVID CHUCKLES
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Are you feeling happy or depressed?
0:18:40 > 0:18:44I tell you, it's given me a bit of a heady feeling.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47- Oh. Ai, ai...- Ai-ai-ai-ai-oi!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49God!
0:18:49 > 0:18:51You see, that's where I think, if I was driving
0:18:51 > 0:18:54and I was khatted out my head, I would have crashed.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00Khat leaves are the biggest killer on this road.
0:19:00 > 0:19:03More than three-quarters of all crashes
0:19:03 > 0:19:07are caused by truck drivers using khat to stay awake
0:19:07 > 0:19:09during their long journeys.
0:19:09 > 0:19:12I quite fancy going in one of those trucks.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16- Don't you think that would be interesting? - Yeah, I quite fancy it, too.
0:19:16 > 0:19:19I think it might be quite scary...
0:19:19 > 0:19:22cos they drive about four times faster than we do.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Look, here's a truck.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28Shall we ask him? They look all right. They look not so frightening.
0:19:30 > 0:19:33- Cheerio. - Have a lovely time on your own.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- I'm going to come and see you're all right.- All right.
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Ten minutes? Ten minutes ride in the truck?
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Can I come with you?
0:19:41 > 0:19:46Drivers are paid by the job, so they use khat as a stimulant,
0:19:46 > 0:19:48and David's up for a bit of stimulation.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Goodbye. May God be with you!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56My name is Sowalu.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58- Sowalu. David.- Massai.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01No seat belts?
0:20:01 > 0:20:02- Yeah.- No seat belts, yeah.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- OK. He's got one but we're OK! - No, no.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08HUGH: Seems a bit unfair, really.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I really want to go in that lorry!
0:20:14 > 0:20:15I want to be in the lorry!
0:20:15 > 0:20:20- I support Manchester United. - You support Manchester United? - Yeah.- I support Chelsea.- Chelsea?
0:20:20 > 0:20:25- Manchester United is the bigger. - It's always Manchester United.- Yeah. - Yeah.- Chelsea...- Yeah. Well, yes!
0:20:25 > 0:20:28- But Chelsea sometimes bigger. - No, no, no.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Yes, they have been.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Chelsea won the Premier League twice, a few seasons ago.- Yeah.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36I think actually what's happening on this trip...
0:20:37 > 0:20:39..is I'm becoming a bit of a father figure.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I told him how he can clean his shoes.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47I'm effectively picking him up from a party.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- OK, thank you.- OK?
0:20:51 > 0:20:53You know, in for a penny, in for a pound.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56- I don't want to eat all his khat. - Yeah.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58He's got to have some.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01Although it might be safer if I eat it all!
0:21:03 > 0:21:06I hand him the sun cream, make sure he doesn't get burnt...
0:21:08 > 0:21:11..and then paracetamol when he's got a bit of a headache.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16And when he says I'm the one going into the Isuzu truck,
0:21:16 > 0:21:19I go, "Yes, that's fine."
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Before he drives back, does he rest?
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- 30 minutes.- 30 minutes?- Yeah.- And then you come straight back again?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Do you not worry about falling asleep?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30Do you not worry about...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- You sleep...- No.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38Yeah.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40No rest.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Six hours, you stop.
0:21:45 > 0:21:49OK. And you sleep in the car, in the truck, you sleep here? OK.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Aah, look at that!
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Oh...
0:21:54 > 0:21:59So that's a minibus upside down in the middle of the road.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Have you ever had any accidents?
0:22:02 > 0:22:05- Ship? Oh, sheep.- Yeah. - You hit a sheep?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Two sheep.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08You hit two sheep.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Did have to pay for that?
0:22:13 > 0:22:16- 600 birr for the sheep. - Yes.- That's quite a lot.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18Thank you so much.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19Thank you, thank you, it was really good.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21I'll just have a last... No, I won't!
0:22:21 > 0:22:22OK.
0:22:22 > 0:22:23How have you been without me?
0:22:23 > 0:22:27- How have I been what...?- I've had about 25lb of khat.- Oh, have you?
0:22:27 > 0:22:30I'm just going to climb in here, cos I will never climb in the front of a lorry.
0:22:30 > 0:22:34- OK, this is my mate. What's his name, again?- Sowalu.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Sowalu. This is my mate, Sowalu.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38And he's a really cool guy.
0:22:38 > 0:22:42- How much khat have you had? - Quite a lot, yeah. I don't know how they do it.
0:22:42 > 0:22:46He has it every day, so he's not quite as smiley as me about it.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55- Hang on, handbrake's on, and I'm the one who's not been having khat.- Yes.
0:22:55 > 0:23:01Now, I know that you will have been complaining about that fact that I was in that cab and you weren't...
0:23:01 > 0:23:06- Yeah, the most tedious half hour of my life.- ..but here's what you forget.- Yeah?
0:23:06 > 0:23:08- I was immediately offered an enormous amount of khat.- Yeah.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10- You would have had to say no. - No, I might have...
0:23:10 > 0:23:13That would have created a certain amount of resentment,
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- because it's clearly part and parcel of the experience, and, also... - I wouldn't have minded that.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22I wouldn't have necessarily had as much as I imagine you had.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24I might get carsick.
0:23:27 > 0:23:32Passing through a village, there's a sobering reminder for David and Hugh
0:23:32 > 0:23:33of the dangers on these roads.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41OK, so this is an accident.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42Is it an accident?
0:23:42 > 0:23:45Yeah. Looks quite bad.
0:23:51 > 0:23:55There's a bus here with a broken windscreen.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57Was there an accident?
0:24:03 > 0:24:05- Yes, went round and round. Spun round.- Yeah.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07Did the car hit someone standing?
0:24:13 > 0:24:17A 19-year-old-boy died in the accident.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Yeah.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29The drivers are having khat.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32- Do you think...- Yeah.- ..that's what causes the accidents?
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Yeah.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46- Thank you.- Thank you. - Thank you very much.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55The really scary thing about that, for me,
0:24:55 > 0:24:58was the fact that it was just every day.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00That guy said he'd lost two mates, didn't he?
0:25:00 > 0:25:05Yeah. There is a casualness with which people talk about death.
0:25:06 > 0:25:07Erm...
0:25:08 > 0:25:12- Which only happens when lots of people die.- Yeah.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14WIND CHIMES
0:25:15 > 0:25:18Most Ethiopians are Orthodox Christians.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21Even the smallest villages have churches.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24The people's religious devotion
0:25:24 > 0:25:26and the death on the road
0:25:26 > 0:25:29have made the guys rather philosophical.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31I think there's a link, isn't there, really,
0:25:31 > 0:25:34between what we're hearing about life around this road
0:25:34 > 0:25:36and how fragile life is,
0:25:36 > 0:25:42with that kind of proper, intense devotion to religion.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47Why, because you have to believe in a life after this one?
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Yeah, and you have to also, I think,
0:25:49 > 0:25:52find a way of making your life count.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55It's a kind of fairly obvious truism, isn't it,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58the Church had more power in Europe
0:25:58 > 0:26:01when life was more like it is on this road,
0:26:01 > 0:26:06i.e., when people died very casually and very easily.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13Hugh and David are still an exhausting 100km drive
0:26:13 > 0:26:18from Lalibela, a religious World Heritage Site.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19But it should be worth it.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21So, I'm quite excited by Lalibela.
0:26:21 > 0:26:23Lalibela used to take four days to get to,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26and there wasn't really a road there at all...
0:26:26 > 0:26:29until relatively recently. This is the quickest way to Lalibela.
0:26:29 > 0:26:32But that must be crucial for the economy,
0:26:32 > 0:26:35because Lalibela is probably the tourist centre of Ethiopia.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40In the 12th century, King Lalibela had a big vision -
0:26:40 > 0:26:43to build a new Jerusalem.
0:26:43 > 0:26:46So he commissioned a series of churches so extraordinary
0:26:46 > 0:26:49that some people consider their construction a miracle.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Some scholars have estimated
0:26:51 > 0:26:55it would have taken a workforce of 40,000 to construct the churches.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58- Yeah.- Locals claim that toiling all the hours of daylight,
0:26:58 > 0:27:01the earthly workforce was then replaced with a celestial one,
0:27:01 > 0:27:03who toiled all the hours of darkness.
0:27:03 > 0:27:05How many builders would that take?
0:27:05 > 0:27:08COCKNEY ACCENT: "Well, that's going to take, what, 40,000?"
0:27:08 > 0:27:09"Well, if we can, what we'll do is,
0:27:09 > 0:27:12- "at the night-time, we'll put on a celestial one."- Yeah.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15"They're quite hard to get, the angels. You know what they're like.
0:27:15 > 0:27:19- "They've got all sorts of other stuff they're doing." - Yeah. "How long's it going to take?"
0:27:19 > 0:27:21"Well, probably to the end of the 13th century."
0:27:21 > 0:27:24"I know you wanted it done by Christmas... DAVID LAUGHS
0:27:24 > 0:27:26"..but you changed the spec.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30- "Originally, you wanted the new Basingstoke..."- Yeah.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33- "Originally, you said MDF was fine." - Yeah.
0:27:33 > 0:27:35- "Now you want rock hewn out of the ground."- Yeah, exactly.
0:27:38 > 0:27:42Before 1955, the isolated mountain town of Lalibela
0:27:42 > 0:27:45was accessible only on foot.
0:27:45 > 0:27:48It would take worshippers days to reach the churches
0:27:48 > 0:27:49along rough mule tracks.
0:28:04 > 0:28:08With a long day ahead, Hugh and David decide to get there early.
0:28:12 > 0:28:14Is that it?
0:28:14 > 0:28:16There it is.
0:28:18 > 0:28:22The question is, why you would carve a church out of rock
0:28:22 > 0:28:25rather than just use rock to build the church?
0:28:25 > 0:28:28- Erm...- Do you think it's thought to be more magnificent,
0:28:28 > 0:28:30- and a greater offering, or...?- Yeah.
0:28:30 > 0:28:35- If King Lalibela...- Yeah. - ..had a vision, which he did,
0:28:35 > 0:28:37and in that vision, he was told to build the new Jerusalem...
0:28:37 > 0:28:41- I think the new Jerusalem doesn't mean he comes home and copies Jerusalem.- Yeah.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44- I think it means, go back and do something incredible. - How deep is it?
0:28:44 > 0:28:48Well, it's actually deep enough for me to be a bit frightened on the edge.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50- How do you get in?- I don't think that's the way in.
0:28:50 > 0:28:53- You don't just jump? - Yeah, you have to parachute in.
0:28:53 > 0:28:56- That was the one mistake they made. - THEY LAUGH
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Of the 11 churches King Lalibela built,
0:29:02 > 0:29:08this one, St George's, was the last and most ambitious.
0:29:08 > 0:29:11Do you think the whole thing could just cave in on itself
0:29:11 > 0:29:12and we'd be buried alive?
0:29:12 > 0:29:17- I hope they had some kind of subsidence check.- I tell you -
0:29:17 > 0:29:22- no surveyor is going to sign this off.- No, definitely not!
0:29:23 > 0:29:25You'll never get a mortgage.
0:29:26 > 0:29:29- Wow.- I wonder if the original plan for this has survived.
0:29:29 > 0:29:33- You've got to assume that they would have drawn it on something.- Yeah.
0:29:33 > 0:29:35There must have been planning meetings,
0:29:35 > 0:29:37people drawing stuff out on parchment.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- And people getting cross with the contractors.- Yeah.- All that.
0:29:40 > 0:29:42And this is the 11th church, of the 11.
0:29:42 > 0:29:45- Yeah.- So by the time King Lalibela had built the other 10,
0:29:45 > 0:29:48he knew what he was doing, so this is the culmination, isn't it?
0:29:48 > 0:29:52- This is sort of the pinnacle of his achievement.- Look at this.
0:29:52 > 0:29:53Are they bones?
0:29:53 > 0:29:55I think they are, those look like feet.
0:29:55 > 0:29:58Yeah, those are mummified corpses.
0:29:58 > 0:30:02And it looks to me, because there's no statue element to them,
0:30:02 > 0:30:05I guessing these weren't important priests or whatever,
0:30:05 > 0:30:08that these were just people who came to pray here and died.
0:30:08 > 0:30:12- If they've walked miles and miles to come here...- So, the route that we've been travelling
0:30:12 > 0:30:16- has been travelled for thousands of years...- It has.- ..by pilgrims.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20Do you think they have their replica of the Ark of the Covenant in here as well?
0:30:20 > 0:30:23I can imagine so, cos all churches do here, don't they?
0:30:26 > 0:30:27Wow.
0:30:28 > 0:30:31- Hello. I'm David.- Hello.
0:30:31 > 0:30:33- What we doing... - THEY LAUGH
0:30:33 > 0:30:35I don't know what this bit is.
0:30:35 > 0:30:38Are you the priest of the church?
0:30:38 > 0:30:40- Yes.- How long have you been the priest?
0:30:47 > 0:30:49Do you remember when you first saw the church?
0:30:49 > 0:30:52What did it feel like?
0:30:59 > 0:31:04I've obviously spent a lot of time in churches,
0:31:04 > 0:31:06because my dad was a vicar and a bishop,
0:31:06 > 0:31:08so I've kind of grown up with churches,
0:31:08 > 0:31:11but this is very different to anything, erm, British, really.
0:31:11 > 0:31:14What it reminds me of more than anything else,
0:31:14 > 0:31:16it feels like you're sort of backstage at a theatre.
0:31:16 > 0:31:21You know, these are all great devotional objects, people are coming in and kissing the door,
0:31:21 > 0:31:24and kissing the picture of St George,
0:31:24 > 0:31:27and, you know, kneeling and kissing the floor and stuff,
0:31:27 > 0:31:30but it really feels almost like these are sort of props,
0:31:30 > 0:31:32left lying around.
0:31:32 > 0:31:34It also feels like that curtain ought to open
0:31:34 > 0:31:37and there ought to be an audience.
0:31:37 > 0:31:39What is behind the curtain?
0:31:41 > 0:31:43And no-one can see that?
0:32:07 > 0:32:12Ethiopia is... I think it's the most religious country,
0:32:12 > 0:32:15overtly religious country, I've ever been to, really.
0:32:17 > 0:32:19And I like it, it's sort of, erm...
0:32:22 > 0:32:24I don't know how it makes me feel, really.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26I don't know, it's like stepping back in time, almost,
0:32:26 > 0:32:29the level of devotion here.
0:32:29 > 0:32:30HUGH CHUCKLES
0:32:30 > 0:32:32Thank you very much.
0:32:32 > 0:32:33To send the boys on their way,
0:32:33 > 0:32:37it's time for a traditional but rather unexpected blessing.
0:32:37 > 0:32:39Hopefully, it'll ensure a safe trip.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42Are you going to be blessed first?
0:32:42 > 0:32:43I am, yeah.
0:32:46 > 0:32:47Oh!
0:32:47 > 0:32:49HUGH CHUCKLES
0:32:49 > 0:32:50Sorry...
0:32:58 > 0:32:59Thank you.
0:32:59 > 0:33:01Me?
0:33:01 > 0:33:04DAVID STIFLES GIGGLES
0:33:10 > 0:33:13THEY LAUGH
0:33:15 > 0:33:16Thank you!
0:33:16 > 0:33:20Please... No, please don't do it again!
0:33:20 > 0:33:22THEY LAUGH
0:33:24 > 0:33:26Thank you, sir.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28Why am I saying thank you?!
0:33:28 > 0:33:31That water's probably contaminated!
0:33:31 > 0:33:34The first one was so...whoosh!
0:33:34 > 0:33:37It was just unexpected, wasn't it?
0:33:37 > 0:33:40I thought he was going to just dribble water on my head!
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Not chuck it!
0:33:42 > 0:33:45At first I thought he was just doing this to the Jew, but he did it to you too.
0:33:45 > 0:33:47THEY LAUGH
0:33:47 > 0:33:50- DAVID LAUGHS - Do you know what?
0:33:50 > 0:33:54I'm not sure he wants us to reach the end of our journey safely!
0:33:54 > 0:33:56It's a very odd form of blessing.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02The hardest part of their journey is still to come,
0:34:02 > 0:34:05and they will need all the luck they can get.
0:34:07 > 0:34:11- Well...- That was good! - I certainly feel thrice blessed.
0:34:11 > 0:34:13- Possibly more than thrice.- Yeah.
0:34:13 > 0:34:16- Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi...- Oi, oi!
0:34:16 > 0:34:18- I'm becoming you. "Oi, oi, oi." - Oi, oi, oi, oi.
0:34:18 > 0:34:22- A fit of hysterical giggling.- Yeah!
0:34:22 > 0:34:26Yeah. By the way, I'm terrified of this bit of the road.
0:34:26 > 0:34:28I'm talking, but I'm terrified of this bit of the road,
0:34:28 > 0:34:30because that is as big a drop as we've seen so far.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32It is, but you'd roll down that.
0:34:32 > 0:34:37- You'd roll down it?- You'd be fine. - Yeah, erm... Like this.- Yeah, like that.- That's how you'd roll down it.
0:34:37 > 0:34:40The reason you'll survive is, of course, that you're a bit like the Terminator.
0:34:40 > 0:34:43- Do you think? I can't regenerate. - Go on, put these on briefly.
0:34:43 > 0:34:45I am taking my glasses off on a dangerous road,
0:34:45 > 0:34:48but it's worth it, to show how much you look like the Terminator.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51AS THE TERMINATOR: "I'll be back."
0:34:51 > 0:34:56- There we go.- I'm a T-1000 cybernetic organism sent from the future to protect you.
0:34:56 > 0:34:59Yeah, well, I think if we crashed, I'll be dead, the goats'll be dead,
0:34:59 > 0:35:01and then you would come out the car...
0:35:01 > 0:35:04- I'd just look at my arm and go... - ..saying that. Yeah, you would.
0:35:04 > 0:35:06- And I'd go...- Yeah.
0:35:06 > 0:35:08"No."
0:35:08 > 0:35:10He says that a lot. "No."
0:35:10 > 0:35:14- I should have my glasses back now, probably.- "No."
0:35:14 > 0:35:15DAVID LAUGHS
0:35:16 > 0:35:21I can sort of see about... 10 feet ahead without my glasses.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24"I can see over a kilometre."
0:35:24 > 0:35:28I suspect this, by the way, is the Chinese Road.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30This is the Chinese Road, here we are.
0:35:35 > 0:35:37In the 1960s and '70s,
0:35:37 > 0:35:41communism took hold of many parts of Africa, including Ethiopia.
0:35:43 > 0:35:46This road was built by the Chinese in the late 1970s,
0:35:46 > 0:35:50when Ethiopia was firmly under communist control.
0:35:52 > 0:35:57It's the main artery linking the east and west of Northern Ethiopia.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01- The Derg.- The Derg, yeah.
0:36:01 > 0:36:03- They're communists.- And they turned to China for help.
0:36:03 > 0:36:06- It's Maoist Chinese money. - It's a political road.
0:36:06 > 0:36:11- It's a road that's been built to help the spread of communism... - Yeah.- ..into Africa.
0:36:11 > 0:36:14- Which is probably why it's so well-built.- Yeah.
0:36:14 > 0:36:16- Ooh, this is going to be a fantastic bridge.- Look at this.
0:36:16 > 0:36:19- It's kind of Chinese, isn't it?- Ooh.
0:36:19 > 0:36:21- Which isn't... - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look at this!
0:36:22 > 0:36:24It's incredible countryside.
0:36:24 > 0:36:28I wonder what this road will do for our fuel consumption, David?
0:36:28 > 0:36:31- Well, actually, we're on our reserve tank, as it is.- Are we?
0:36:38 > 0:36:40Although it's tarmacked,
0:36:40 > 0:36:44Hugh and David are in fact on one of the deadliest roads in the country.
0:36:44 > 0:36:46Carved into the mountain,
0:36:46 > 0:36:50it's used largely by haulage trucks and overcrowded buses.
0:36:50 > 0:36:53- This is a very, erm...- Dangerous road.- ..dangerous bit of road.
0:36:57 > 0:37:00It's also quite tempting to go quite fast on this road,
0:37:00 > 0:37:01- cos it's really good.- Yeah.
0:37:01 > 0:37:07- It is yeah, but... You have to swing... - Rock-hewn church!- Where?- Up there.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11- What the fuck? - What?- Look at that!
0:37:12 > 0:37:15Fuck me!
0:37:15 > 0:37:18OK, I think we should stop.
0:37:19 > 0:37:21That is ridiculous.
0:37:29 > 0:37:33What is that? Is that... That's like a digger, or something.
0:37:47 > 0:37:50Excuse me. Erm, do you know what happened here?
0:37:54 > 0:37:57OK, so the digger was already falling off?
0:37:57 > 0:38:01Yeah? And to save himself, he had to swing that way...
0:38:05 > 0:38:08Was the driver OK?
0:38:08 > 0:38:10When did this happen?
0:38:10 > 0:38:12It's just been like this for three days.
0:38:12 > 0:38:14No police have come?
0:38:15 > 0:38:18What happens when it gets dark?
0:38:23 > 0:38:25- Thank you, sir.- Thank you.
0:38:26 > 0:38:30The light's fading, but there's still 80km to go.
0:38:30 > 0:38:33Hugh and David are longing for the comfort of their hotel,
0:38:33 > 0:38:36when suddenly, there's trouble. Big trouble.
0:38:36 > 0:38:38Right, here's a problem.
0:38:38 > 0:38:39Have we run out of petrol?
0:38:39 > 0:38:41ENGINE SPLUTTERS
0:38:41 > 0:38:44OK, I think that's because it thinks it's being nicked.
0:38:44 > 0:38:47Why don't you lock it and unlock it?
0:38:47 > 0:38:50- Lock it and unlock... - No, no, it's not...- OK.
0:38:52 > 0:38:55- OK, yeah.- It's to do with that, it's got... The immobiliser's gone.
0:38:55 > 0:38:57- DOOR SLAMS - You might have to...
0:38:59 > 0:39:04Erm... We've got a strange problem here, which is... I, I think, forgot to lock the car,
0:39:04 > 0:39:07and then if you don't lock this car for over about five minutes,
0:39:07 > 0:39:12the immobiliser goes off and no-one seems to know how to re-mobilise it.
0:39:12 > 0:39:14The immobiliser went off and we tried to start the car,
0:39:14 > 0:39:17which means that we're definitely stealing it.
0:39:17 > 0:39:20I don't want to play the blame game, but it's your fault.
0:39:20 > 0:39:24- You started it!- Well, frankly, I think we've got a bit of a problem.
0:39:24 > 0:39:27Some of the locals are trying to sort the problem
0:39:27 > 0:39:31by literally taking the car to pieces.
0:39:31 > 0:39:33- We've got a torch. - Do you want a hand?
0:39:33 > 0:39:35This isn't a small job they're doing here.
0:39:35 > 0:39:37They've taken apart the entire dashboard
0:39:37 > 0:39:41and we don't know if any of them are qualified engineers.
0:39:41 > 0:39:45Running low on luck, they begin to consider their options.
0:39:46 > 0:39:50- We could get the tent out.- That looks like a good place to camp.
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Honestly, with all this diesel on the road,
0:39:54 > 0:39:57I don't think starting a fire is going to be problem!
0:39:57 > 0:39:59ENGINE STARTS
0:39:59 > 0:40:03Oh! That's good. Good sound! That's a very good sound!
0:40:05 > 0:40:07Can we turn it off?
0:40:07 > 0:40:10Only if they can. If they can't turn it off...
0:40:10 > 0:40:14Fantastically, they've got it started so we're not stuck here for the night
0:40:14 > 0:40:16but I don't know whether we dare turn it off again.
0:40:16 > 0:40:20- Are we allowed to turn it off? - I don't know.
0:40:20 > 0:40:26We've got about 50km of petrol left and it's 80km to the hotel.
0:40:26 > 0:40:29- We'll find a petrol station. - But then we have to stop the car.
0:40:29 > 0:40:31We can only worry about one thing at a time.
0:40:31 > 0:40:35- We have to stop the car at the petrol station. We haven't thought about that.- No!
0:40:35 > 0:40:39- No!- A round of applause for the guys!
0:40:39 > 0:40:42- Thank you, guys. Thank you. - Thank you very much.- Thank you.
0:40:42 > 0:40:45- Am I driving now? - Yeah, you're driving.
0:40:47 > 0:40:51- How do you turn these off? - And if you stall, I'll kill you.
0:40:54 > 0:40:57- The hazard lights won't turn off. - I know.
0:40:57 > 0:40:59They must have changed the wiring, or something.
0:40:59 > 0:41:04- Yes, OK.- Right.- Careful about the road, it's very slippery here.
0:41:06 > 0:41:08There's a lorry going very slowly up ahead.
0:41:08 > 0:41:12- I'm not going to overtake it, am I? - Don't overtake it.- Oh!- What?
0:41:12 > 0:41:14The indicators are going absolutely mental.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17It is good to know that anywhere in the world,
0:41:17 > 0:41:19if your car breaks down, men will appear from nowhere.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22And they can hot-wire it. They can just hot-wire the car.
0:41:22 > 0:41:25He's going off, right? He wants us to overtake.
0:41:25 > 0:41:28Oh, good. Thanks, mate.
0:41:28 > 0:41:32- Yeah, but that's... - Is that all right?- Don't know.
0:41:33 > 0:41:36- We do need petrol, though. Diesel. - What have we got?
0:41:36 > 0:41:40- We've got almost none. - We'll scrape some off the road!
0:41:42 > 0:41:48- It now actually reads empty.- This is a weird part of the road. Look.
0:41:48 > 0:41:51- There's also a pavement.- There's also a town, which might mean a garage.
0:41:51 > 0:41:52I hope so.
0:41:54 > 0:41:58Oh, there is a petrol station. There's a closed petrol station.
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Hello. Guys, sorry to interrupt, but we need some petrol.
0:42:12 > 0:42:16This is as about as close to a terrorist cell as I've ever been.
0:42:16 > 0:42:19I know it isn't, but it really looks like one.
0:42:23 > 0:42:25Hello. Can you tell us what you're doing?
0:42:29 > 0:42:30OK.
0:42:30 > 0:42:33MEN CHATTER IN OWN LANGUAGE
0:42:35 > 0:42:37Can we get petrol? Hello?
0:42:37 > 0:42:41This doesn't meet British health and safety standards.
0:42:41 > 0:42:43OK, what's happening is, there's a pump, obviously,
0:42:43 > 0:42:46and there's a power... So the pump is not working,
0:42:46 > 0:42:50and they're trying to fix the power to give us some petrol
0:42:50 > 0:42:57and it's a bit dangerous because there's a lot of live wiring
0:42:57 > 0:42:59and it's a petrol station.
0:42:59 > 0:43:03I'm starting think we should try and make it with the petrol we've got.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08- And we can't turn the car off. - And we can't turn the car off.
0:43:08 > 0:43:10So it's just using petrol the whole time.
0:43:10 > 0:43:12MEN SHOUT
0:43:12 > 0:43:16- Oh!- Eh?- Eh? Is it working? - Is the pump working?
0:43:18 > 0:43:21- Thank you.- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
0:43:21 > 0:43:23You saved our lives.
0:43:24 > 0:43:28- How many things have gone wrong? - Since when?- Since we stopped.
0:43:28 > 0:43:31I would say, the car stopped working,
0:43:31 > 0:43:34then we were running out of petrol, then we got to a garage
0:43:34 > 0:43:38but the garage had to be re-wired to give us petrol.
0:43:38 > 0:43:41- I'm hoping that's the three. - I need a beer.
0:43:42 > 0:43:45I'd quite like a cup of tea. A cup of hot, sweet tea.
0:43:48 > 0:43:51- I'm quite tired, David.- Are you? I can take over if you want.
0:43:51 > 0:43:53No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm sort of...
0:43:53 > 0:43:54HUGH SCREAMS
0:43:54 > 0:43:59Oh, God! That was a dog, wasn't it?
0:43:59 > 0:44:01That was a dog and that was... Is it all right? Did we hit it?
0:44:01 > 0:44:05- No, we didn't hit it at all.- OK. - It just ran off.
0:44:05 > 0:44:08Gordon Bennett, I've got goose pimples on my arms.
0:44:08 > 0:44:11You do genuinely like to say "Gordon Bennett".
0:44:13 > 0:44:16Hugh and David eventually find refuge,
0:44:16 > 0:44:20but it's not exactly what they had in mind.
0:44:20 > 0:44:23We got to the hotel, it didn't have any rooms left,
0:44:23 > 0:44:26double booked, so we've been moved to this hotel.
0:44:28 > 0:44:30I'm not sure it actually is a hotel.
0:44:33 > 0:44:35This is my window.
0:44:35 > 0:44:37HE LAUGHS
0:44:37 > 0:44:39Oh... I have to sleep here.
0:44:40 > 0:44:43Anyway, good night. Sleep tight.
0:44:48 > 0:44:52The following morning, David's got troubles of a rather different kind.
0:44:52 > 0:44:56I spent quite a lot of the night in a sitting position...
0:44:56 > 0:45:01- in the bathroom.- What, just sitting with stuff pouring from your bottom?
0:45:01 > 0:45:06I don't think I've necessarily ate anything particularly bad, but I have been eating solidly.
0:45:09 > 0:45:13They're now heading north towards the Simien Mountains.
0:45:13 > 0:45:16It's the start of the Aksum Road and the pilgrimage route
0:45:16 > 0:45:20that will take them to the home of the Ark of the Covenant.
0:45:20 > 0:45:24- Oh, there's a kid on the back. - Oh, no, no. Really?
0:45:24 > 0:45:27I am frightened about running over one of these kids at some point.
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Now, just an update on my arse.
0:45:32 > 0:45:36- Yeah, OK. - The weird thing, I feel better,
0:45:36 > 0:45:39still a bit queasy, but there doesn't seem to be a let-up
0:45:39 > 0:45:42in the need to go to the lavatory,
0:45:42 > 0:45:45and indeed the consistency of the stool.
0:45:45 > 0:45:48Can I just say, there hasn't been any let-up
0:45:48 > 0:45:51- in the consumption of food, has there?- That's true!
0:45:51 > 0:45:58It is only 11 hours since your spate of diarrhoea began.
0:45:58 > 0:46:03- You have had scrambled egg, cheese...- Liver sausage.
0:46:03 > 0:46:09Liver sausage, two cups of coffee, spaghetti with tomato sauce.
0:46:09 > 0:46:10Did you have any bread?
0:46:10 > 0:46:14I had some bread as well. I thought that might clag me up a bit.
0:46:14 > 0:46:19I'm of the opinion that my body would tell me if it didn't want to eat.
0:46:19 > 0:46:24Well, do you not think it's giving you a slight clue, isn't it(?)
0:46:26 > 0:46:31- OK, now I'm getting a sense of being in the mountains.- Yeah.
0:46:34 > 0:46:38Hugh and David have reached one of the most dramatic landscapes in Africa -
0:46:38 > 0:46:41the Simien Mountains,
0:46:41 > 0:46:47formed by intense volcanic activity 40 million years ago.
0:46:47 > 0:46:50Simien, of course, means "like a monkey".
0:46:50 > 0:46:53- Yes, we should almost definitely see gelada baboon.- Gelada baboon.
0:46:53 > 0:46:57Does that sound to you like an ice cream made of baboon?
0:46:57 > 0:46:58DAVID LAUGHS
0:46:58 > 0:47:01David's spot-on. They've got company.
0:47:01 > 0:47:05These gelada baboons, native only to Ethiopia,
0:47:05 > 0:47:09are the last surviving species of grass-grazing monkey.
0:47:09 > 0:47:12- Is that the male?- I don't know. Where?- There.- Oh, yeah.
0:47:12 > 0:47:15- Shall we go say hello to him? - Yeah, OK.
0:47:16 > 0:47:21How close can you get to a baboon, safely?
0:47:21 > 0:47:24I don't know. They look all right.
0:47:24 > 0:47:28- Well, so do lions. - You not coming down here?
0:47:28 > 0:47:35- I'll come, but I think we should generally keep our distance from the big male baboon.- Yeah.
0:47:35 > 0:47:40- They might have lured me in and they'll suddenly all turn on me now. I've got nowhere to go.- Just run.
0:47:43 > 0:47:44It's all gone off!
0:47:46 > 0:47:50Oh, the little one. It looked to me like this one kidnapped the child.
0:47:54 > 0:47:57They've got slightly evil eyes, haven't they?
0:47:57 > 0:47:59They do look a bit evil.
0:48:00 > 0:48:03Now just one very long, very dusty
0:48:03 > 0:48:08and very precipitous road separates them from their final destination.
0:48:08 > 0:48:11They'll leave the Simien Mountains behind
0:48:11 > 0:48:17and follow the only road north to the once-mighty kingdom of Aksum.
0:48:17 > 0:48:22This road does seem slightly endless doesn't it? Sort of endless dust.
0:48:22 > 0:48:25Yeah. We're on a pilgrimage, though.
0:48:25 > 0:48:27It's part and parcel of pilgrimage.
0:48:27 > 0:48:32There's about 1,000 people on this truck careering round this bend.
0:48:33 > 0:48:36- Where's the road?- Where is the road?
0:48:36 > 0:48:40The best bet with the dust is just to assume the road is still there.
0:48:40 > 0:48:44- It doesn't disappear because there's a load of dust. - I find it a bit unsettling.
0:48:46 > 0:48:50- It's getting very narrow up here. - It's great, though, isn't it?
0:48:50 > 0:48:53It's brilliant, but it's slightly frightening.
0:48:56 > 0:49:00- Do you want to go back to sleep?- No. - I'll tell you when it's over?
0:49:00 > 0:49:03No, it's fine. But the barriers are very...
0:49:03 > 0:49:05there and not there.
0:49:05 > 0:49:08You kind of think the reason they're not there...
0:49:08 > 0:49:12- Someone's gone through them. - Yeah. They're now at the bottom.
0:49:15 > 0:49:19- Another car's not going to be very good news, is it?- Not really.
0:49:21 > 0:49:23Oh, God, there's a very dead donkey there.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26Ohh, that's a hideous thing!
0:49:26 > 0:49:32God! I hope you don't have to go forward over the donkey,
0:49:32 > 0:49:36- cos there'll be a horrible squelching noise. - I don't think I do.
0:49:36 > 0:49:38Watch out, you're going quite near the side.
0:49:38 > 0:49:41- No, I'm not. I'm fine. - You really are.
0:49:41 > 0:49:47The road winds its way down 2,000 metres to the valley bottom.
0:49:51 > 0:49:53It's a bit punishing today, isn't it?
0:49:53 > 0:49:58Shall we listen to music? It pays to chat but I don't think we'll make it.
0:49:58 > 0:50:00MUSIC BEGINS
0:50:00 > 0:50:02# That's where you're at
0:50:02 > 0:50:05# Going down a bumpy hillside... #
0:50:05 > 0:50:06Perfect!
0:50:06 > 0:50:10# ..In your hippy hat... #
0:50:10 > 0:50:11Wey-ey!
0:50:11 > 0:50:15# ..Saying everything is groovy
0:50:15 > 0:50:18# When your tyres are flat... #
0:50:18 > 0:50:23THEY SING ALONG # ..And it's hi-ho, silver lining
0:50:23 > 0:50:26# Everywhere you go now, baby
0:50:26 > 0:50:29# I see your sun is shining... #
0:50:29 > 0:50:33Don't know the next bit. Something, something, something!
0:50:41 > 0:50:44For the next 200 kilometres, the road is under construction.
0:50:44 > 0:50:47The guys are going to need their 4x4.
0:50:47 > 0:50:50It'll be an arduous, bone-shaking ride.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54- We've rattled to death on this road. - Yeah, that's the problem.
0:50:54 > 0:50:59- Whoa-oa-oa!- Hey-ey-ey! - That needs a bit of levelling.
0:50:59 > 0:51:01It's a bit tight, there.
0:51:01 > 0:51:03Don't worry, we went over it quickly.
0:51:03 > 0:51:07Ohh...I'm starting to feel a bit...stiff.
0:51:07 > 0:51:12I'm sure we're going to hit a point where we can go no further.
0:51:12 > 0:51:14This doesn't look good.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18The digger's coming through.
0:51:18 > 0:51:21Where do we go? Where's the road?
0:51:27 > 0:51:30New roads are changing the face of the country,
0:51:30 > 0:51:35as rapidly expanding nations like India and China look to Africa
0:51:35 > 0:51:37for its natural resources.
0:51:37 > 0:51:40China alone has invested hundreds of millions of pounds
0:51:40 > 0:51:43in Ethiopia's infrastructure over four decades.
0:51:46 > 0:51:48This isn't a road. It's not a road.
0:51:48 > 0:51:50We're driving across the moon.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52We're driving across the moon, exactly!
0:51:54 > 0:51:59A mammoth undertaking, this road is being carved across two valleys,
0:51:59 > 0:52:03opening up trade and access for rural villages.
0:52:03 > 0:52:05THEY GROAN
0:52:07 > 0:52:12It's like spending nine hours inside a maraca.
0:52:12 > 0:52:15DAVID LAUGHS
0:52:15 > 0:52:18This bit's nuts! This bit is...mental.
0:52:22 > 0:52:26- He didn't entirely see you coming, I don't think.- No.
0:52:26 > 0:52:28I tell you what - you drive for a bit.
0:52:28 > 0:52:30- I'm feeling a little bit faint.- OK.
0:52:32 > 0:52:35DAVID GROANS
0:52:35 > 0:52:39OK, I've suddenly got a terrible need to relieve my bowels again.
0:52:41 > 0:52:46Do we have...toilet paper?
0:52:46 > 0:52:48- You had the toilet paper. - I don't know where it's gone.
0:52:50 > 0:52:55- Right, OK. Well...- Anything on your side?- I can give you toilet paper.
0:52:55 > 0:52:57Yes, that might be an idea.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00- Something bad is going on.- Is it?
0:53:00 > 0:53:04Oh, dear, dear, dear. Oh, no.
0:53:04 > 0:53:07You see trees up ahead?
0:53:09 > 0:53:12Need trees...or anything, really.
0:53:15 > 0:53:18I've got a little bit put away for you.
0:53:18 > 0:53:20DAVID CHUCKLES
0:53:20 > 0:53:24Here, just in my bag... I thought, "Just in case of emergencies."
0:53:28 > 0:53:32Once again, Daddy Hugh has saved the day.
0:53:36 > 0:53:39CHILDREN LAUGH AND CHATTER
0:53:46 > 0:53:49I was very convinced they were going to come and stare at me.
0:53:49 > 0:53:50Are they behind the car?
0:53:50 > 0:53:52ENGINE STARTS
0:53:52 > 0:53:55Dare I ask, what sort of consistency was it?
0:53:55 > 0:53:58Pretty solid, yeah, fine.
0:54:03 > 0:54:05With David feeling on more solid ground,
0:54:05 > 0:54:07they're reaching Aksum's outskirts.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14The city was once the centre of a great civilisation
0:54:14 > 0:54:17that controlled the trading routes between the Roman Empire and India
0:54:17 > 0:54:21in the early centuries of Christianity.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23But modern-day Aksum?
0:54:26 > 0:54:28Right, so this is Aksum.
0:54:28 > 0:54:32It's so NOT ancient. It's not even new yet.
0:54:32 > 0:54:36- That's nearly finished, that one. - Is it?- No.
0:54:37 > 0:54:40This is practically the end of our journey, then.
0:54:40 > 0:54:43So, all we've got to do is find the Ark of the Covenant...
0:54:43 > 0:54:47Look at it, not have our eyes burned out.
0:54:47 > 0:54:51Their gruelling 1,300-mile trip has led the guys here,
0:54:51 > 0:54:54to the holiest place in all Ethiopia,
0:54:54 > 0:54:57the Churches of St Mary of Zion.
0:54:57 > 0:55:02Finally, they're just yards from the most sacred relic in the land -
0:55:02 > 0:55:07the Ark of the Covenant - fabled to house the Ten Commandments.
0:55:07 > 0:55:11- It's a fairly impressive thing. - This looks fairly new to me, though.
0:55:11 > 0:55:15- Welcome to Aksum, Zion church. - Thank you.- How are you?
0:55:15 > 0:55:21- I'm good. I'm David.- I'm Hugh. Are you a guide?
0:55:21 > 0:55:24- Yes, I'm deacon also.- Oh, you're a deacon. That sounds good.
0:55:24 > 0:55:28- This is the...- New church, King Haile Selassie.
0:55:28 > 0:55:30- Oh.- Haile Selassie built this?
0:55:30 > 0:55:33- The Ark of the Covenant is behind the new church.- Behind this church.
0:55:33 > 0:55:34In a small chapel.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36Shall we get there?
0:55:36 > 0:55:40- So that... I can tell you that. - That is the home of the Ark.
0:55:40 > 0:55:41That is the home of the Ark.
0:55:41 > 0:55:45The monk is inside every day. That is the chapel of the Ark.
0:55:45 > 0:55:49Oh, there? Oh, the monks come out.
0:55:49 > 0:55:51- He lives in the chapel. - He lives inside.
0:55:51 > 0:55:55- He never comes out of the compound. - What do you think is in the Ark of the Covenant?
0:55:55 > 0:56:00The Ten Commandments inside. Ten Commandments. As received from God.
0:56:00 > 0:56:04Why are they not in Israel? Cos that's where they were given to Moses.
0:56:04 > 0:56:09The miracle of the Ark is the Ark coming to Ethiopia.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12- So it's part of a miracle. - It's a miracle.- Yes.
0:56:12 > 0:56:17What would happen if someone did accidentally see the Ark?
0:56:17 > 0:56:21- Blind. A lot of miracles. - Bad miracles?- Yeah.
0:56:21 > 0:56:27- You'd be...- Very high power. Strong power, strong power.
0:56:27 > 0:56:30'I am a fundamental atheist.
0:56:30 > 0:56:35'I'm so comfortable with the fact that God doesn't exist'
0:56:35 > 0:56:38that I really quite like religion, and here,
0:56:38 > 0:56:40for someone who likes religion, likes it culturally
0:56:40 > 0:56:44and what it says about people and about where you are, this is a brilliant place.
0:56:44 > 0:56:49People really believe it, they really believe in religion as a proper magical thing.
0:56:49 > 0:56:52They particularly like the idea of ascribing magic and power
0:56:52 > 0:56:56to some extent to whatever they can find, which is what Ethiopia is.
0:56:56 > 0:56:59It's a place where they make use of whatever they can find
0:56:59 > 0:57:02and they've done that on a big scale with the Ark of the Covenant.
0:57:05 > 0:57:07- Can we get any closer? - This is the border.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09- And we're not allowed any closer than this?- Never.
0:57:09 > 0:57:11- This grave is the border?- Yes.
0:57:11 > 0:57:16So we've travelled, what is it, 2,000 kilometres to see this,
0:57:16 > 0:57:19and you're saying this is as far as we can go?
0:57:19 > 0:57:21Yes. Never to inside here.
0:57:21 > 0:57:25This is a border for the Ark of the Covenant.
0:57:25 > 0:57:28- This is the end.- This is a line never to come out.
0:57:28 > 0:57:30We don't cross this.
0:57:30 > 0:57:32I'm not disappointed by not seeing the Ark of the Covenant.
0:57:32 > 0:57:35I didn't think we'd get to see it or even get that close to it.
0:57:35 > 0:57:42In a way, I think you get more power from seeing how much you're not allowed to see them.
0:57:42 > 0:57:45You get more of a sense of what it means to the Ethiopians
0:57:45 > 0:57:49and the reality of the magic of those stones by the refusal to see them.
0:57:52 > 0:57:56I just think it is a great country.
0:57:56 > 0:58:00Really interesting mix of myth and magic
0:58:00 > 0:58:03and religion and modernity, and all the rest of it.
0:58:03 > 0:58:05You can joke about it, and we have,
0:58:05 > 0:58:13but I think it just gives Ethiopia a sense that it is special.
0:58:14 > 0:58:20I think they think of themselves, genuinely, as a kind of special people.
0:58:20 > 0:58:23We can say we won the World Cup in 1966.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27They can say, "We've got the Ark of the Covenant!
0:58:27 > 0:58:30"Yes, that's us. Ethiopia!"
0:58:55 > 0:58:57Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd