0:00:50 > 0:00:54'Mr Stink stank. He also stunk.
0:00:54 > 0:00:58'He was the stinkiest stinker who ever lived.'
0:01:00 > 0:01:03HE GROANS
0:01:07 > 0:01:11- DOG BARKS - Urgh! Duchess!
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Chloe!
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Oh, hello, Pippa.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Do you want to come to my sleepover tomorrow night? It'll be epic.
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Yeah, I'd love to.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Oh, you can't come, I just wondered if you wanted to!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34THEY LAUGH
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Awkward!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52I hit him! How genius am I?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14Run along now, I'm a very busy man.
0:02:15 > 0:02:18The Duchess and I both find children rather aggravating.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20DUCHESS BARKS
0:02:20 > 0:02:23I came to say sorry about the banana skin.
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Did you throw it?
0:02:24 > 0:02:29No! It was this girl, Pippa, from my school.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31The little wretch is lucky I didn't sling it back.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36My auntie just sent me £5 in a Christmas card.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Oooh! Good old Auntie.
0:02:38 > 0:02:43I wanted you to have it. To buy a blanket, or some soap?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Thank you, but I have no use for soap.
0:02:45 > 0:02:47I had a bath only last year.
0:02:47 > 0:02:48Please shut the door on your way out.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50I'm only trying to help!
0:02:50 > 0:02:52All right. Help if you must!
0:02:52 > 0:02:53Now, the Duchess is always hungry.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Would you be kind enough to bring the old girl a sausage?
0:02:56 > 0:03:00DUCHESS YELPS AND WHIMPERS
0:03:00 > 0:03:01Yeah, I will!
0:03:01 > 0:03:05I'm Chloe, by the way. What's your name?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Stink. Mr Stink.
0:03:08 > 0:03:09Now, why are you called that?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14I have absolutely no idea.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17One moment, child.
0:03:27 > 0:03:28I'm sorry.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Good riddance to bad rubbish.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07For goodness' sake, girl, do something!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09I was thinking.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Daydreaming, more like.
0:04:11 > 0:04:13Sorry, I just...
0:04:13 > 0:04:17Sh! Don't distract me whilst I am working.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19This by-election is vital for me.
0:04:19 > 0:04:22I could be a Member of Parliament in a matter of days.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Where's the dinner? Annabelle has trombone practice in eight minutes.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Maybe she could give it a miss tonight?
0:04:38 > 0:04:41Then how will she be crowned Young Musician of the Year, hmm?
0:04:41 > 0:04:44Tell me that. What are you attempting to cook?
0:04:44 > 0:04:49From your favourite Look, I'm Posh range, "Duck ale orange".
0:04:49 > 0:04:51"Duck a l'orange."
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Translated, "Duck a l'orange" means "Duck to the orange".
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Well done, my darling. Have another gold star.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Merci beaucoup, Maman.
0:04:59 > 0:05:04I'm removing Chloe's star for daydreaming.
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Thank you, my angel.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Can we have sausages tomorrow?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Yeah! Of course!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14No, we cannot! They are incredibly plebeian.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Chloe, how about asking a friend back after school sometime?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Yeah, maybe one day.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49These are from the premium range?
0:05:49 > 0:05:54- And they are not past their sell-by date?- No!
0:05:54 > 0:05:56Have you got any more?
0:05:56 > 0:05:58No, and you're quite ungrateful for a...
0:06:01 > 0:06:04Come, come, say it, "tramp".
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Homeless person.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Whereas for a child, you are typically ill-mannered.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14- Do you want me to wash that for you? - No need.
0:06:14 > 0:06:18LOUDSPEAKER: 'Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?'
0:06:18 > 0:06:23My name is Mrs Caroline Croom and I have a dream.
0:06:23 > 0:06:27A dream of living in a country I can be truly proud of.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30To the unemployed I say, "Get a job!"
0:06:30 > 0:06:31What an awful racket.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34To the homeless I say,
0:06:34 > 0:06:38"Have a proper wash and get a foot on the property ladder."
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Vote Croom. Aaargh!
0:06:57 > 0:07:00- Hello, Chloe! My favourite customer. - Hello, Raj.
0:07:00 > 0:07:05I have Rolos on special offer. They are only a year out of date.
0:07:05 > 0:07:06No, thanks, Raj.
0:07:06 > 0:07:11- Half a Lion Bar? Shall we say 15p? - Erm, no, thank you.
0:07:11 > 0:07:1428 Crunchie bars for the price of 27?
0:07:14 > 0:07:15No!
0:07:15 > 0:07:19Hey! What's with the frowny face?
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Please share with your Uncle Raj.
0:07:22 > 0:07:27Well, I've met this tramp who really smells.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30I know the man you mean - the stench does make your eyes water.
0:07:30 > 0:07:33Pooooiiiieee!
0:07:33 > 0:07:36I was wondering whether I should try and help him.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Of course you should!
0:07:38 > 0:07:40A tramp is just someone without a home.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42Any of us could be homeless one day.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44Yeah, I suppose you're right.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47But if my mum finds out she will do her nut.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52So, what are you going to buy your tramp friend for Christmas?
0:07:52 > 0:07:56I have a box full of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles stationery sets
0:07:56 > 0:07:58I can't seem to shift.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Yours for only 3.99.
0:07:59 > 0:08:04- I'm not sure he really needs one of those.- They are on special offer!
0:08:04 > 0:08:07You have your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles notepad,
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Teenage Mutant Ninja... Oh.
0:08:10 > 0:08:133, 2, 1...action!
0:08:13 > 0:08:18Thank you for visiting my website, VoteCroom.com.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19It's Crumb.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Croom! Now when I am elected... - If!
0:08:21 > 0:08:24..WHEN I am elected as your Member of Parliament,
0:08:24 > 0:08:26I promise to introduce a curfew
0:08:26 > 0:08:30so that all children under the age of 25 are indoors by 8pm.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33And ban the wearing of leggings in public,
0:08:33 > 0:08:34as they are awfully common.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Most importantly of all,
0:08:37 > 0:08:40the homeless will be removed from the streets.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43Soap dodgers, portable wine-tasting clubs, urban campers,
0:08:43 > 0:08:46call them what you will - they are a menace to society.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Thank you.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51I forgot to press record.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Ow!
0:09:02 > 0:09:03KNOCK ON DOOR
0:09:06 > 0:09:10Just checking you are doing your homework.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14Yes, yes, I am. In fact, I am just doing my maths homework right now.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Let me see. - I'm just in the middle of...
0:09:20 > 0:09:25"Flesh-eating zombie bullies must die"?
0:09:25 > 0:09:26It's a story I wrote.
0:09:26 > 0:09:30- Do they do maths, these flesh-eating zombies?- No...
0:09:30 > 0:09:34Must they die because they got their long division wrong?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36There is no maths in here whatsoever!
0:09:38 > 0:09:40So this is what you do all day at school, is it?
0:09:40 > 0:09:43No!
0:09:43 > 0:09:46Come along, Annabelle, Mandarin class.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48SHE REPLIES IN MANDARIN
0:10:04 > 0:10:08No blowing off in the night and blaming it on me.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10DUCHESS WHIMPERS
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I might just sit upwind.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27So she has returned.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32I've decided to opt out of society, like you.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35You think I opt out, child?
0:10:35 > 0:10:36Er, yeah.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40Just because I don't have an iPlop wedged in my ear all the time?
0:10:43 > 0:10:47Shall we discuss this over a Frappuccilinone?
0:10:47 > 0:10:50It's called a Frappuccino.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Not the way I make it.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04What a lovely aroma!
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Abandon shop!
0:11:09 > 0:11:14They're sometimes a bit funny about dogs.
0:11:14 > 0:11:20Right-o, a Frappuccilinone for you,
0:11:20 > 0:11:22and for me,
0:11:22 > 0:11:28something I am tentatively calling a caramelamochamocha.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29SHE GIGGLES
0:11:46 > 0:11:51You're cleverer than you look, aren't you?
0:11:51 > 0:11:53We are all more than we look.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Be confident, child, fear nobody.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59What's wrong at home?
0:11:59 > 0:12:00How do you know?
0:12:00 > 0:12:01If everything was fine
0:12:01 > 0:12:03you wouldn't be spending your afternoons
0:12:03 > 0:12:06with an old vagabond like me.
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Mum ripped up my story.
0:12:08 > 0:12:09You write stories?
0:12:09 > 0:12:13Yeah, but she ripped it up. I hate her.
0:12:13 > 0:12:17"Hate" is a strong word.
0:12:19 > 0:12:22I'm sure your mother loves you.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32She's distracted by the possibility of power.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35Megaphones do very queer things to folk.
0:12:35 > 0:12:37Mum only loves my little sister Annabelle.
0:12:37 > 0:12:40Annabelle's always at some stupid class or other.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Archery, ice dancing, Arabic, ski-jumping,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46and that's just this morning.
0:12:46 > 0:12:49Right now she'll be in ballet.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51My ballet dancing days are over.
0:12:51 > 0:12:54I fear I shall never dance Giselle again!
0:12:54 > 0:12:56SHE LAUGHS
0:12:56 > 0:12:59I was actually rather good.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02But you know my and the Duchess's views on children.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05But it can't be easy being your little sister.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10Oh, no, it's Pippa!
0:13:12 > 0:13:15"..No-one hires a pink limo for birthdays any more."
0:13:15 > 0:13:18And he was all, "Really?"
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I mean, my dad, he's such a...
0:13:21 > 0:13:22Oh, Chloe?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Who's this, your new boyfriend?
0:13:26 > 0:13:28You must be Pippa.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29Yeah.
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Does anyone call you Pippa Pig?
0:13:32 > 0:13:33No.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35They should.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39SHE SNIFFS You stink!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41I think you'll find...
0:13:41 > 0:13:44- STOMACH GURGLES - Ooh, one moment.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48Buuuuurp!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59My apologies. There's never any excuse for belching.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Must be the coffee repeating on me.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Some people think homeless people should be driven off the streets.
0:14:09 > 0:14:13And I think some streetless people should be driven off their homes.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19You don't need to be homeless. You could come and live in our shed.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22No, the Duchess and I need the open road,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24a ceiling of stars, fresh air and...
0:14:24 > 0:14:27Mind you, it is ruddy cold today.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31Maybe just for the night.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46Such unimaginable kindness.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Sorry, it's just a shed,
0:14:48 > 0:14:51but at least it gets you off the streets for a while.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54There's no en suite, but there is a bucket.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56A bucket, very la-di-da!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Oh!
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Serpents of Doom?
0:15:07 > 0:15:12It's my dad! He never told me he was in a rock band.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I'm afraid I don't follow the hit parade.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20Well, well!
0:15:20 > 0:15:24Why's it all burnt? And why did he never tell me?
0:15:24 > 0:15:26We all have our secrets, Miss Chloe.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30"D"?
0:15:31 > 0:15:37Yes, this belonged to my friend, Dave.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Good old Dave. Where is Dave now?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41With his huge head and...
0:15:41 > 0:15:44It says Darlington on the other side.
0:15:44 > 0:15:46What's your secret, Mr Stink?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49How did you end up living on the streets? Are you an escaped convict?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- No.- A spy?
0:15:51 > 0:15:55A billionaire who lost all his money in a casino playing Top Trumps?
0:15:55 > 0:15:58No, but you should put that in a story. Most amusing.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Are you running away?- I'm not telling you, so please be quiet!
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Right. I am ready for my afternoon tea now.
0:16:11 > 0:16:13I'm sorry?
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Earl Grey, a selection of sandwiches, scones with plum jam
0:16:15 > 0:16:17and Cornish clotted cream.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19I've got half a Milky Way from Raj's shop.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Perfect.
0:16:21 > 0:16:25If you need anything else, shine this torch up at my bedroom window.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30Good night, Mr Stink.
0:16:36 > 0:16:40DUCHESS WHIMPERS
0:17:14 > 0:17:15You look guilty.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18- No, I don't! - You sound guilty too.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21As school has broken up, you can be on leaflet duty today.
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Why can't Annabelle do it?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26She's off to Battle Re-enactment Society.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Get your coat. Quickly.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45- Dad?!- Sssh! Ow!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Why are you hiding?
0:17:47 > 0:17:50I thought I saw a pigeon fly in here.
0:17:50 > 0:17:51HE COOS LIKE A PIGEON
0:17:53 > 0:17:57All right, the truth is...
0:17:57 > 0:17:59I like to pretend I'm Harry Potter in my spare time.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01Dad!
0:18:02 > 0:18:07OK. I was given the push from the factory last month.
0:18:07 > 0:18:09Loads of us were.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I just don't dare tell your mother.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18Maybe it's time you stand up to her.
0:18:18 > 0:18:20It's not a good time, with this whole MP thing.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25We found your CDs in the shed.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27You were in the Serpents Of Gloom!
0:18:27 > 0:18:29The Serpents of DOOM!
0:18:29 > 0:18:32And who's "we"?
0:18:32 > 0:18:36I'm experimenting with the royal "we". Like Mum.
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Was it her who burnt your guitar?
0:18:40 > 0:18:42How did you...? No!
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- It...caught fire in a freak lightning strike!- Dad!
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Yes, she burnt it.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51< Hurry up!
0:18:51 > 0:18:53Promise you won't say a thing about this to your mother.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57Chloe! What are you doing in there?
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Nothing!
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, I need my coat.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Annabelle!
0:19:12 > 0:19:13Good girl!
0:19:16 > 0:19:20Can I count on your vote in the by-election? No?
0:19:21 > 0:19:23Vote Mrs Caroline Croom!
0:19:24 > 0:19:26I'm just popping into Raj's.
0:19:26 > 0:19:31Good plan. I'll give him some flyers.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33Wait there. Eyes and teeth.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39Ah, good morning, good morning.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41Hi, Raj.
0:19:41 > 0:19:42This must be your sister!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Oh! No, shopkeeper! No, I'm Chloe's mother.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Oh.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Can I rely on your vote?
0:19:48 > 0:19:51What are you on? The X Factor?
0:19:51 > 0:19:52No, shopkeeper.
0:19:52 > 0:19:55I'm standing to be the local MP.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58So what do you think are the big issues affecting this country today?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00Coffee Revels.
0:20:00 > 0:20:01What?
0:20:01 > 0:20:03I strongly feel coffee Revels should be banned.
0:20:03 > 0:20:06They ruin what is otherwise a very enjoyable snack.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Anything else?
0:20:09 > 0:20:13Cadbury's Creme Eggs. They should be available all year round,
0:20:13 > 0:20:15not just at Easter.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Right.- If you promise to change the law on these issues,
0:20:18 > 0:20:20you can rely on my vote.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22In that case, I promise.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26Thank you. Come along, Chloe.
0:20:28 > 0:20:29How is your tramp?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34What did you say?
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Er...
0:20:36 > 0:20:37Nothing!
0:20:37 > 0:20:39You said something about a tramp.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42He said, "How's your stamp?"
0:20:42 > 0:20:47Yes, I sold your daughter a stamp and I was wondering how it was.
0:20:51 > 0:20:56Before you go, can I interest you in some luxury stationery?
0:20:56 > 0:20:59As an MP, you will need a quality product
0:20:59 > 0:21:01for when you write to the Prime Minister.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04It's by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08You have your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pencil sharpener,
0:21:08 > 0:21:10Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
0:21:11 > 0:21:12Oh.
0:21:12 > 0:21:16The apathy of the voting public is a disgrace.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Maybe they don't like your ideas about the homeless.
0:21:22 > 0:21:23The homeless are people too, you know.
0:21:23 > 0:21:25If they were people,
0:21:25 > 0:21:28they'd use shower gel, have loyalty cards and a choice of shoes.
0:21:28 > 0:21:32The Prime Minister could try and do more. He's got three houses.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Go to your room.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37Don't you dare criticise that giant amongst men.
0:21:37 > 0:21:38Talking about me again?
0:21:40 > 0:21:42How was your day, love?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Go on, up to your room.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51< DOG BARKS
0:22:05 > 0:22:06(Get back in the shed!)
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Get back in the shed!
0:22:09 > 0:22:11KNOCK AT DOOR
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Room service.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Tea and biccies?
0:22:24 > 0:22:28Look, don't mind your mum, she's just under a lot of pressure.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30She's on TV tomorrow morning.
0:22:30 > 0:22:35- TV?- Yeah, being interviewed cos of this whole by-election.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39It's so boring.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Dad, time to take me to kestrel training!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46I wish someone would shoot that damn bird.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Coming, my angel!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55'I stand before you today
0:22:55 > 0:23:01'not just as a prime minister, but also as a man.'
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Do we have to watch this clown every night?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Yes, we do. And he is not a clown.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10He's our glorious leader.
0:23:10 > 0:23:14'And if I could quote the great Bryan Adams -
0:23:14 > 0:23:16'you know it's true.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19'Everything I do,
0:23:19 > 0:23:22'I do it for you.'
0:23:26 > 0:23:31No wonder I sleep bad. It's like having a pile of cheese before bed.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34APPLAUSE
0:23:56 > 0:23:59KNOCKING AT DOOR
0:24:03 > 0:24:05What kept you?
0:24:05 > 0:24:06Shush!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09- What?!- I said shush!
0:24:09 > 0:24:10Oh.
0:24:10 > 0:24:15I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Ear plugs!
0:24:15 > 0:24:16They don't look like ear plugs.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20Rabbit droppings, Miss Chloe. A cheaper alternative.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24This is amazing.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28Just doing what folk do when they move into a new home.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Sorry I couldn't get here earlier. I was sent to my room.
0:24:39 > 0:24:41Is this shortbread all-butter?
0:24:41 > 0:24:42Yes!
0:24:46 > 0:24:47What did you want?
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Oh, yes - I can't get to sleep. I want a bedtime story.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Um, I don't know any.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Of course you do.
0:24:55 > 0:24:58What about the one your mother ripped up? About vampire bullies.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Zombie bullies!
0:25:00 > 0:25:01That's the one.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08I think your coat might have dropped in something bad.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Story!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19"In the graveyard, the three bullies rose,
0:25:19 > 0:25:21"snarling, from the dead..."
0:25:21 > 0:25:22I like it already.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24Sh!
0:25:24 > 0:25:26"Only one girl could stop them."
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Good night to the Duchess.
0:25:29 > 0:25:32"She lay there, unaware that the next few days
0:25:32 > 0:25:34"would change her life for ever.
0:25:36 > 0:25:39"The most evil one, with long blonde hair...
0:25:43 > 0:25:47"The zombie bullies lay headless on the ground,
0:25:47 > 0:25:50"their toes twitching, smouldering
0:25:50 > 0:25:54"until finally, slowly,
0:25:54 > 0:25:55"they fell still.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57"The end."
0:25:57 > 0:26:00HE SNORES
0:26:04 > 0:26:05Good night, Mr Stink.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12"Lord and Lady Darlington.
0:27:13 > 0:27:15"Darlington House, Oxfordshire."
0:27:33 > 0:27:36- What are you up to? - Sh, you'll wake everyone up.
0:27:36 > 0:27:39I said, what are you up...
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Ow!
0:27:41 > 0:27:42What's that awful smell?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47What on earth is going on? I need my beauty sleep.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49You know I'm on TV first thing in the morning.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51What's that awful smell?
0:27:51 > 0:27:54I saw Chloe going in and out of the shed with some food.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56She's got someone in there.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58Are you hiding someone in there?
0:27:58 > 0:27:59No.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01I don't believe you.
0:28:03 > 0:28:04What's that awful smell?
0:28:04 > 0:28:06I need you to go down to the shed.
0:28:06 > 0:28:08- Me?- Yes, you.
0:28:08 > 0:28:09I know it's on your to-do list,
0:28:09 > 0:28:11but I'm not strimming at this time of night!
0:28:11 > 0:28:14Your daughter is hiding someone in there.
0:28:14 > 0:28:16No, I'm not!
0:28:17 > 0:28:19Let's all go back to bed. I know I need to pee...
0:28:19 > 0:28:20All right, I'll go!
0:28:20 > 0:28:24No, you won't, this is man's work!
0:28:39 > 0:28:41Hello? Anyone there? No.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46There's no-one there.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49Completely empty.
0:28:49 > 0:28:52In fact, I've never seen a shed so empty of people...
0:28:52 > 0:28:53You're overdoing it.
0:28:53 > 0:28:54Sorry!
0:28:56 > 0:28:57Chloe...!
0:28:57 > 0:28:59I was going to tell you, Dad.
0:28:59 > 0:29:01I know Mum doesn't like the homeless
0:29:01 > 0:29:03but it was cold and he had nowhere else to go.
0:29:03 > 0:29:07All right! For the time being.
0:29:07 > 0:29:09Promise you won't tell Mum?
0:29:10 > 0:29:13If you don't tell her about me losing my job.
0:29:13 > 0:29:14Promise.
0:29:23 > 0:29:24So we're live in ten seconds.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Ten, nine...
0:29:26 > 0:29:29Don't forget to smile, everybody! Eyes and teeth!
0:29:29 > 0:29:31- This is stupid!- Shut your face!
0:29:31 > 0:29:35Hello, we're at the home of by-election candidate Mrs Crumb.
0:29:35 > 0:29:37- Uh, it's Croom.- It's Crumb.
0:29:37 > 0:29:40- You seem to have the perfect family life.- Yes, I do.
0:29:40 > 0:29:44And yet you're entering the, some would say, murky world of politics.
0:29:44 > 0:29:48Where there is murk, I will bring light. Where there is...
0:29:48 > 0:29:50But your policies include
0:29:50 > 0:29:53a pledge to drive the homeless off the streets.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55I believe that the homeless...
0:29:55 > 0:29:57Who washed my coat?!
0:30:07 > 0:30:11Sorry, um, you believe the homeless should...?
0:30:12 > 0:30:13Should be...
0:30:15 > 0:30:18..invited by everyone to live in their garden sheds.
0:30:19 > 0:30:21He wasn't there when I looked.
0:30:21 > 0:30:25Yes, invite the homeless into your shed.
0:30:25 > 0:30:29Sorry, can I ask you - what's it like living with this family?
0:30:29 > 0:30:31The service is painfully slow
0:30:31 > 0:30:34and there could be a much wider selection of biscuits.
0:30:34 > 0:30:38And the worst thing is, they wash your coat without asking!
0:30:40 > 0:30:43Well, that's all from the Crumb family and...
0:30:43 > 0:30:46- What's your name?- Stink.- Stink. - Mr Stink.
0:30:46 > 0:30:51Mr Stink. And he certainly does. Back to the studio.
0:30:51 > 0:30:53CAROLINE SOBS
0:30:54 > 0:30:57I actually think that went rather well, love.
0:31:00 > 0:31:03Sorry about washing your coat.
0:31:03 > 0:31:06I keep my private articles in this coat.
0:31:06 > 0:31:08I'm sorry, I just thought...
0:31:08 > 0:31:12But you didn't think. I knew I should never have stayed here.
0:31:13 > 0:31:15- Please. - That's the problem with do-gooding.
0:31:15 > 0:31:19- In the end, it's all about the doer rather than the do-ee.- No...
0:31:19 > 0:31:21So you end up with doo-doo.
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Goodbye.
0:31:30 > 0:31:32DUCHESS YELPS
0:31:54 > 0:31:56DUCHESS BARKS
0:32:10 > 0:32:11Hiya, love!
0:32:13 > 0:32:15BARKING
0:32:23 > 0:32:25There's someone asleep under the leaves!
0:32:26 > 0:32:30He won't hear you! He wears ear plugs made of poo!
0:32:31 > 0:32:33Be confident. Fear nobody.
0:32:35 > 0:32:37Stop!
0:32:48 > 0:32:50Sorry.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11Who washed my coat?!
0:33:15 > 0:33:17Wow.
0:33:24 > 0:33:28- Can you tell Annabelle dinner's ready?- Can't we let her sleep?
0:33:28 > 0:33:30She's really tired.
0:33:30 > 0:33:32Nonsense, she's a human dynamo.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35And she's got Channel swimming training first thing
0:33:35 > 0:33:37tomorrow morning. She needs to eat. Annabelle!
0:33:37 > 0:33:40PHONE RINGS
0:33:40 > 0:33:42Hello, Croom residence.
0:33:42 > 0:33:44- BOTH:- Crumb residence.
0:33:44 > 0:33:47Politics Tonight? The TV programme?
0:33:48 > 0:33:52Yes, I'd be delighted!
0:33:52 > 0:33:57You want that tramp as well? No, no, I won't appear with him.
0:34:00 > 0:34:02Ill see you there in an hour.
0:34:04 > 0:34:08They won't have me on without HIM. Where is he?
0:34:08 > 0:34:09I don't know.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11Well, let's go out and find him.
0:34:25 > 0:34:26Stop!
0:34:26 > 0:34:28TYRES SCREECH
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Sorry about your coat.
0:34:39 > 0:34:43So am I. It stinks of Ocean Breeze now.
0:34:48 > 0:34:52I can be a bit of an old grump sometimes.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54Me, too!
0:35:10 > 0:35:12You get used to it after a while.
0:35:12 > 0:35:14It defeats me why he has to appear, too.
0:35:14 > 0:35:18Mr Stink is an internet sensation. He's gone viral.
0:35:18 > 0:35:20I'm not surprised - he's probably teeming with lice.
0:35:20 > 0:35:23You'll be pleased to know I am louse-free.
0:35:23 > 0:35:25Thank the Lord for small mercies.
0:35:25 > 0:35:27Although I'm no stranger to worms.
0:35:31 > 0:35:35Welcome. With just over a week to go until a crucial by-election,
0:35:35 > 0:35:38we have representatives from all the major parties,
0:35:38 > 0:35:42and a homeless man who goes by the name of...Mr Stink.
0:35:42 > 0:35:44Would this be a good time to use the lavatory?
0:35:44 > 0:35:45AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:35:45 > 0:35:47No, we are on live television.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49Not a number two, just a number one.
0:35:49 > 0:35:50No! Now...
0:35:50 > 0:35:54Although sometimes you're having a number one and you think,
0:35:54 > 0:35:56"Hello, now I need a number two..."
0:35:56 > 0:35:57AUDIENCE LAUGHS
0:35:57 > 0:36:00Let's get on with the programme, shall we?
0:36:00 > 0:36:04Can I have the first question, please? Yes, lady there.
0:36:04 > 0:36:05Good evening.
0:36:05 > 0:36:06DUCHESS YELPS
0:36:06 > 0:36:08One moment, please.
0:36:08 > 0:36:10Should we...
0:36:10 > 0:36:12Sorry about this.
0:36:14 > 0:36:18Um, with hundreds of thousands of people
0:36:18 > 0:36:20sleeping rough on our streets,
0:36:20 > 0:36:24should we all invite a homeless person
0:36:24 > 0:36:26into our home for Christmas?
0:36:26 > 0:36:29Perhaps you'd care to start us off, Mrs Crumb.
0:36:29 > 0:36:31In fact, it's Croom.
0:36:31 > 0:36:33- BOTH:- It's Crumb.
0:36:33 > 0:36:36Yes, out of the kindness of my heart, I invited this filthy beggar man
0:36:36 > 0:36:39out of the cold to come and live in our garden shed.
0:36:39 > 0:36:41If I have a fault, it's that I am too nice.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43APPLAUSE
0:36:45 > 0:36:47That's a great big pile of steaming poo!
0:36:49 > 0:36:51I'd go even further and say
0:36:51 > 0:36:53it is a great big pile of poo with a cherry on top!
0:36:53 > 0:36:56It was your daughter who invited me to live in the shed.
0:36:56 > 0:36:57Well, I, um...
0:36:57 > 0:36:59In fact, Miss Chloe is here tonight.
0:37:06 > 0:37:09I have been sleeping rough for half a lifetime.
0:37:09 > 0:37:11I am a difficult man. Ask the Duchess.
0:37:11 > 0:37:13BARKS
0:37:13 > 0:37:16But this young girl persisted with me.
0:37:16 > 0:37:19If everyone in the country were like her...
0:37:19 > 0:37:23Well, it would be horrible - 60 million spotty 12-year-olds.
0:37:23 > 0:37:28If everyone were like her, perhaps we would have no more homelessness.
0:37:28 > 0:37:33We homeless are not a statistic. We are people.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35APPLAUSE
0:37:35 > 0:37:36So, Mrs Crumb, why did you lie?
0:37:36 > 0:37:38Perhaps to further your election campaign?
0:37:38 > 0:37:40No, no...
0:37:40 > 0:37:41Oh, come now.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44I for one would welcome Mr Stink into my house.
0:37:44 > 0:37:46You wouldn't, you big fat liar!
0:37:46 > 0:37:47BOOING
0:37:47 > 0:37:50He absolutely reeks. Flies run away screaming.
0:37:50 > 0:37:52He stinks!
0:37:52 > 0:37:55Well, that's got the programme off to a lively start.
0:37:55 > 0:37:56We should have you on every week.
0:37:56 > 0:37:58You couldn't afford me, dear.
0:38:07 > 0:38:11- DISTANT SHOUTING:- We want Stink! We want Stink! We want Stink...!
0:38:25 > 0:38:26Mr Stink!
0:38:28 > 0:38:29Mr Stink, wake up!
0:38:31 > 0:38:33Good morning, Miss Chloe.
0:38:33 > 0:38:35Tell Cook I'll have a kipper.
0:38:35 > 0:38:39No! Half the town's turned up to see you!
0:38:39 > 0:38:40Why would they do that?
0:38:40 > 0:38:43They watched you on telly last night. They love you.
0:38:45 > 0:38:49I can't believe the PM has deselected me.
0:38:49 > 0:38:52Well, not just that. He's thrown you out of the party.
0:38:52 > 0:38:54Thank you(!)
0:38:55 > 0:38:59OK, so you've suffered a tiny setback in your political ambitions.
0:38:59 > 0:39:02No, it's all over for me. Because of...
0:39:02 > 0:39:04THAT creature.
0:39:05 > 0:39:08Sorry, Mum.
0:39:08 > 0:39:10- Can I peel you an orange? - Stay away from my fruit!
0:39:14 > 0:39:17Be confident. Fear nobody.
0:39:21 > 0:39:23Where's your wetsuit?
0:39:23 > 0:39:25It's too cold. I don't want to go.
0:39:25 > 0:39:26What?
0:39:26 > 0:39:28I said I don't want to go.
0:39:28 > 0:39:30Let's give her a break, love.
0:39:30 > 0:39:33Let her be a little girl again.
0:39:39 > 0:39:42By the way, I lost my job two months ago
0:39:42 > 0:39:45and I've been hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. There, I said it.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49PHONE RINGS
0:39:52 > 0:39:54Hello, Chloe Crumb.
0:39:54 > 0:39:55Croom.
0:39:55 > 0:39:57- It's Crumb!- It's Crumb.
0:40:01 > 0:40:03It's the Prime Minister.
0:40:03 > 0:40:06He's changed his mind!
0:40:06 > 0:40:08OK, I'll pass you over.
0:40:19 > 0:40:22Hello, Stink speaking.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25Uh-huh. Yes. Yes.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28- Yes. Yes.- What's he saying?
0:40:28 > 0:40:31I have no idea. I must still have a rabbit dropping in that ear.
0:40:31 > 0:40:34Ah, that's better.
0:40:34 > 0:40:37I see. Let me think about that for a moment, sir.
0:40:40 > 0:40:42The PM says there's a vacancy
0:40:42 > 0:40:45as candidate now Mrs Crumb's been sacked,
0:40:45 > 0:40:48and would I like to stand?
0:40:48 > 0:40:52You must! Think of all the good you could do for homeless people.
0:40:54 > 0:40:59Fine. I will see you this afternoon. What's your address...?
0:40:59 > 0:41:01Let me write that down.
0:41:01 > 0:41:0510 Downing Street. Thank you so much. Goodbye.
0:41:07 > 0:41:09You're meeting a head of state, pal. You do...
0:41:09 > 0:41:12need a...bath.
0:41:12 > 0:41:15Then I shall have a bath. With knobs on.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34Chloe!
0:41:36 > 0:41:39Mr Stink! What on earth do you think you're doing?
0:41:39 > 0:41:42In the words of 12-year-olds everywhere,
0:41:42 > 0:41:43"Duh, I am having a bath!"
0:41:43 > 0:41:44I think you'll find...
0:41:44 > 0:41:47Although technically I suppose I'm having a pond!
0:41:47 > 0:41:49We ran you a nice, hot bath.
0:41:49 > 0:41:51Indoor baths are most unhygienic.
0:41:51 > 0:41:55Mrs Crumb, would you be good enough to pass me that towel?
0:41:55 > 0:41:57Child, avert thine eyes.
0:42:02 > 0:42:03Urgh!
0:42:06 > 0:42:09Thank you, my good woman. Unimaginable kindness.
0:42:11 > 0:42:13Clean as a whistle.
0:42:22 > 0:42:25What do you call a man who has paper trousers?
0:42:25 > 0:42:27"I don't know, Sid." Russell!
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Do you get it?
0:42:31 > 0:42:33Too advanced, obviously.
0:42:38 > 0:42:42So nice not to be doing anything for once. Thanks.
0:42:43 > 0:42:45Do you fancy helping me?
0:42:45 > 0:42:47OK. What are we doing?
0:42:47 > 0:42:51Are you sure I need one of these make-overs?
0:42:51 > 0:42:53You need to look your best for the Prime Minister.
0:42:53 > 0:42:55This is fun!
0:42:58 > 0:42:59There!
0:43:03 > 0:43:04Perfect!
0:43:04 > 0:43:05What about the Duchess?
0:43:11 > 0:43:14Maybe it's a tiny bit too much.
0:43:14 > 0:43:18- CHANTING:- We want Stink! We want Stink!
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Mr Stink!
0:43:30 > 0:43:34The Guardian. Do you find the name Mr Stink demeaning and offensive?
0:43:34 > 0:43:37The Sun. Is it true you have worms?
0:43:37 > 0:43:39People of Britain.
0:43:40 > 0:43:45Many of us, to quote the poet, "Live lives of quiet desperation,
0:43:45 > 0:43:49"and go to our graves with the song still in us."
0:43:49 > 0:43:51So try not to do that.
0:43:52 > 0:43:55And to prevent it happening to others, look around you
0:43:55 > 0:43:59and be generous and kind, although don't put people's clothes
0:43:59 > 0:44:01in the washing machine without their permission.
0:44:05 > 0:44:09Now if you'll excuse me, I have a prime minister to meet.
0:44:10 > 0:44:11Good day.
0:44:20 > 0:44:24- Oh, that stinks!- Could we go via the high street, please?
0:44:38 > 0:44:40I thought we might find them here.
0:44:40 > 0:44:44Chloe, this is a very serious moment. You have a choice.
0:44:44 > 0:44:48You can shout something horrible and vengeful at Pippa,
0:44:48 > 0:44:52or you can be the bigger person and reach out to her.
0:44:55 > 0:44:56BOTH: Losers!
0:45:14 > 0:45:17- Hello, mate.- Good afternoon, Prime Minister.- Call me Steve.
0:45:23 > 0:45:28A Croom in Downing Street! Finally!
0:45:29 > 0:45:32Get your hands out of your pockets, Chloe!
0:45:33 > 0:45:36PIANO PLAYS BEAUTIFULLY
0:45:42 > 0:45:45- I could use you.- Use me?
0:45:45 > 0:45:50Yep, use you. I mean "use" in a good way.
0:45:50 > 0:45:54It's no secret, my approval rating is currently...
0:45:54 > 0:45:55Very poor.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59Quite poor, and...do you have to play that while I'm talking?
0:46:01 > 0:46:02No.
0:46:02 > 0:46:05HE PLAYS A LIVELY TUNE
0:46:07 > 0:46:11And I can't afford to lose this by-election next week.
0:46:15 > 0:46:20Well, Prime Minister, I'm no politician,
0:46:20 > 0:46:22but there is a great deal I could help you with.
0:46:24 > 0:46:28There is an urgent need for more shelters for the homeless like me.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31Yep yep yep...
0:46:31 > 0:46:33Does it do any tricks?
0:46:35 > 0:46:39My team have come up with a campaign for you to spearhead.
0:46:39 > 0:46:41You're going to love this - Hug a Homeless!
0:46:42 > 0:46:45But not for too long, eh? Ha-ha!
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Let's go.
0:46:48 > 0:46:49What?
0:46:49 > 0:46:52We have to be getting back to the real world.
0:46:54 > 0:46:56But you're the funny old tramp. This would be great for me!
0:47:03 > 0:47:04Prime Minister?
0:47:04 > 0:47:05Shoot.
0:47:08 > 0:47:14You can stick your job offer up your fat bum. Good day.
0:47:16 > 0:47:17AIDE LAUGHS
0:47:17 > 0:47:18You're fired.
0:47:20 > 0:47:23Wet wipe. Wet wipe!
0:47:29 > 0:47:32- I can't believe you told me to say that.- I can't believe you said it!
0:47:32 > 0:47:35THEY LAUGH
0:47:43 > 0:47:45You know who I am, don't you, Miss Chloe?
0:47:45 > 0:47:50Yeah. I saw some of your things when I washed your coat.
0:47:50 > 0:47:52I'm sorry...
0:47:52 > 0:47:54Lord Darlington.
0:47:56 > 0:47:58I Googled you.
0:47:59 > 0:48:01I don't know what that is, but it sounds painful.
0:48:08 > 0:48:10A long time ago I had it all.
0:48:11 > 0:48:14Money, fancy friends...
0:48:15 > 0:48:19..a house with more wings than a bucket of KFG chicken.
0:48:19 > 0:48:21KFC.
0:48:21 > 0:48:24And a beautiful wife...
0:48:27 > 0:48:29..my childhood sweetheart, Agatha.
0:48:31 > 0:48:34Shortly after this photograph was taken she fell pregnant.
0:48:35 > 0:48:39The baby was due around this time of year, actually.
0:48:41 > 0:48:44But one night I left her on her own
0:48:44 > 0:48:48so I could play cards with friends at my club.
0:48:49 > 0:48:56When I finally returned home, Darlington House was on fire...
0:48:56 > 0:48:58No!
0:49:01 > 0:49:06A burning ember must have fallen out of the fireplace onto the carpet.
0:49:11 > 0:49:12My poor Agatha...
0:49:16 > 0:49:17It's OK.
0:49:19 > 0:49:21It will never be OK.
0:49:23 > 0:49:26It was an accident, you can't blame yourself.
0:49:31 > 0:49:32But I do.
0:49:39 > 0:49:43So how did you end up living on the streets?
0:49:43 > 0:49:47After the funeral I just couldn't go back to the house.
0:49:49 > 0:49:52I had to get away. I didn't know where to go.
0:49:56 > 0:49:58So I just started to walk...
0:50:02 > 0:50:05..and kept on walking.
0:50:12 > 0:50:16Christmas must be the hardest time of year for you.
0:50:16 > 0:50:18More for the Duchess, really.
0:50:18 > 0:50:20She tends to drink heavily
0:50:20 > 0:50:24and hide under a big pile of leaves until it's all over.
0:50:26 > 0:50:28I know I'm not much fun to be around.
0:50:30 > 0:50:32I wish I could make everything right.
0:50:32 > 0:50:33You have, child.
0:50:35 > 0:50:37Since you came to talk to me that day
0:50:37 > 0:50:39I've been a hundred times happier.
0:50:39 > 0:50:40Me too...
0:50:43 > 0:50:45I want to go wandering with you.
0:50:45 > 0:50:48Absolutely not. This is your home.
0:50:48 > 0:50:53It's not my home, it's her home. I can't spend another night here.
0:50:53 > 0:50:57- Are you quite sure?- Yes.
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Then I had better speak to your mother.
0:51:06 > 0:51:07KNOCKING
0:51:07 > 0:51:09Coming, Mr Stink.
0:51:14 > 0:51:16You want to leave home?
0:51:19 > 0:51:22I thought you wouldn't mind.
0:51:22 > 0:51:23Wouldn't mind?!
0:51:27 > 0:51:32Chloe, you are my daughter! I love you.
0:51:34 > 0:51:38- Do you?- Yes!
0:51:40 > 0:51:44Mr Stink just... Can we call him something else, darling?
0:51:44 > 0:51:46I don't know, like, Geoffrey?
0:51:48 > 0:51:53Anyway, Geoffrey just gave me a very stern talking-to.
0:51:54 > 0:51:57And I realise now how important family is.
0:51:59 > 0:52:04I'm so sorry, Chloe. I hope you can forgive me.
0:52:08 > 0:52:09Of course.
0:52:11 > 0:52:13I love you too, Mum.
0:52:24 > 0:52:27I've got a surprise for you! Cover your eyes.
0:52:43 > 0:52:44Wow!
0:52:47 > 0:52:50It's going to be all right, you know, Chloe.
0:52:50 > 0:52:53This is going to be the best Christmas ever.
0:52:56 > 0:52:58How'd you do that?
0:52:58 > 0:53:00Why don't you go and offer our guest a drink?
0:53:05 > 0:53:07You don't still believe homeless people
0:53:07 > 0:53:09should be kept off the streets, do you, love?
0:53:09 > 0:53:12- No, I don't.- Good.
0:53:12 > 0:53:15They should be kept in some sort of camp.
0:53:18 > 0:53:19Unimaginable kindness.
0:53:19 > 0:53:21So I said to the Prime Minister,
0:53:21 > 0:53:24"You can stick your job offer up your fat..."
0:53:24 > 0:53:26How old are you?
0:53:26 > 0:53:27Nearly ten.
0:53:27 > 0:53:28"..fat bum."
0:53:28 > 0:53:30This is for you.
0:53:36 > 0:53:40I read it. You have a real talent for writing, Chloe.
0:53:40 > 0:53:41Thanks, Mum.
0:53:43 > 0:53:47And this is for you, my darling.
0:53:55 > 0:53:57A guitar! I love it!
0:53:59 > 0:54:01I want to play it right now!
0:54:04 > 0:54:06And this is for you.
0:54:11 > 0:54:12Quantum physics!
0:54:12 > 0:54:14Thank you, Mama!
0:54:16 > 0:54:19Now, I fell in love with your father
0:54:19 > 0:54:22when he was in the Serpents of Doom all those years ago.
0:54:23 > 0:54:25I wanted him to get a proper job...
0:54:25 > 0:54:26HE PLAYS GUITAR LOUDLY
0:54:26 > 0:54:28..and got rid of his guitar!
0:54:28 > 0:54:31And now you can hear why!
0:54:34 > 0:54:38# Good King Wenceslas last looked out
0:54:38 > 0:54:41# On the feast of Stephen
0:54:41 > 0:54:46# When the snow lay round about Deep and crisp and even...#
0:54:46 > 0:54:50LAUGHTER
0:55:24 > 0:55:25Mr Stink!
0:55:35 > 0:55:38The Duchess and I have decided to wander on.
0:55:38 > 0:55:41But why? We all want you to stay.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46My soul is restless.
0:55:47 > 0:55:50- But it's so cold!- Don't worry.
0:55:50 > 0:55:54I prefer sleeping in the great outdoors.
0:55:56 > 0:56:02On our wedding night, Agatha showed me the brightest star in the sky.
0:56:05 > 0:56:09We stood out on our balcony and she said she would love me
0:56:09 > 0:56:12for as long as that star kept shining.
0:56:14 > 0:56:19So every night, as I go to sleep I gaze at the star,
0:56:19 > 0:56:21and it is her I see.
0:56:23 > 0:56:27You see that little star just beneath it?
0:56:27 > 0:56:29Yes?
0:56:30 > 0:56:32You are very special,
0:56:32 > 0:56:37and so whenever I look at that star, I am going to think about you.
0:56:40 > 0:56:42Thank you, Mr Stink.
0:56:45 > 0:56:46I completely forgot!
0:56:48 > 0:56:52I saved up all my loose change and I bought you this.
0:56:54 > 0:56:56Happy Christmas.
0:57:02 > 0:57:04It's the best present ever.
0:57:04 > 0:57:07You can write your stories in it.
0:57:07 > 0:57:09I haven't got anything for you.
0:57:09 > 0:57:12You've given me more than enough, child. You've given me hope.
0:57:14 > 0:57:16Goodbye, Miss Chloe.
0:57:18 > 0:57:20Goodbye, Mr Stink.
0:57:33 > 0:57:34Bye, Duchess.
0:58:16 > 0:58:20'Mr Stink stank. He also stunk.
0:58:21 > 0:58:23'He was the stinkiest stinker who ever lived.'