0:00:15 > 0:00:17She's so boring.
0:00:17 > 0:00:20Ben, don't talk about your gran like that.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23Well, she is, but your dad's right. Don't be rude.
0:00:29 > 0:00:30Hurry up.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36Oh, hello, son. How's my little Benny?
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Hello, Mother. How are you?
0:00:39 > 0:00:42Oh, not so bad.
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Great, well, got to go.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Oh, can you not pop in for a quick cuppa?
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Well, I'd love to, but...
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Mikey, are you going to be in there all day?
0:00:51 > 0:00:52Linds!
0:00:52 > 0:00:56You all right, dear?
0:00:56 > 0:00:57Yes, thank you, dear.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00Sorry, we've been up to our eye-balls at the salon.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02We've had a rush on spray-tans.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05Ben, one of us will pick you up in the morning at 11.
0:01:05 > 0:01:06Could you make it 10?
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Son... Well, have fun, you two.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Don't get into too much trouble.
0:01:17 > 0:01:20Put your foot down, Mikey. It's time to...
0:01:20 > 0:01:24BOTH: Start dancing!
0:01:35 > 0:01:39I've got your favourite for your tea tonight. Cabbage soup.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Come on in.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57So, how's school?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Hmm, fine.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04Good.
0:02:07 > 0:02:11How are things outside of school?
0:02:11 > 0:02:14The things you're up to outside of school hours.
0:02:14 > 0:02:15Yeah, fine.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22Cabbage soup OK?
0:02:23 > 0:02:24Fine.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Mm. Good.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Fine.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Oh, you'll be pleased to know
0:02:34 > 0:02:39the main course is cabbage pie with boiled cabbage on the side.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48WALTZ MUSIC PLAYS
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Oh, you polished that off good and proper.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10SHE FARTS
0:03:12 > 0:03:14HE COUGHS
0:03:14 > 0:03:19I'm spraying pine and apple together to make pineapple.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Well, this is nice.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Want to guess what I'm doing, Benny?
0:03:48 > 0:03:50Knitting?
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Yes, that's right, young man.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I am knitting, but what am I knitting?
0:03:54 > 0:03:57Another jumper with a kitten on it?
0:03:57 > 0:04:01That's right. I can't tell you what lucky boy it's for.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03You'll just have to wait till Christmas.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11MUSIC: "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Well, that's a double word score, triple letter score.
0:04:27 > 0:04:30That's 87 to me.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33Oh, it's getting ever so late.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Time for your beddy-byes, young man.
0:04:50 > 0:04:57Once upon a time, a little boy called Benny, about your age,
0:04:57 > 0:05:02looked under his bed and found a magic carpet.
0:05:02 > 0:05:08Oh! Sorry, Gran, do you know what? I'm really tired.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Oh, oh, I know...
0:05:12 > 0:05:15you're too old for that sort of thing now, aren't you?
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Silly old Gran.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21I'll leave you be.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27(Nighty night.)
0:05:30 > 0:05:32HE EXHALES
0:05:33 > 0:05:36SNORING
0:05:57 > 0:05:59MOBILE VIBRATES
0:06:00 > 0:06:02'Hello?'
0:06:02 > 0:06:03Dad, can you come and get me? I'm bored.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Ben, this isn't a good time.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08We're in the middle cha of our cha-cha-cha.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12You are being very selfish. I've had a long week.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15I've done 152 spray tans.
0:06:15 > 0:06:1728 on me.
0:06:17 > 0:06:2128 on your father. This is our time to unwind.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23But it's torture here.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26I'm sorry. There seems to be a...
0:06:26 > 0:06:30- SHE IMITATES SIGNAL INTERFERENCE - ..problem on the line.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32DIAL TONE
0:06:33 > 0:06:35DOOR SHUTS
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Granny?
0:06:45 > 0:06:48They'll be here to pick you up soon.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Thanks for letting me stay.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53SHE SNIFFS
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Are you OK, Gran?
0:06:55 > 0:06:56Mmm.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Oh, your mum's here.
0:07:02 > 0:07:03HORN TOOTS
0:07:03 > 0:07:07Not stopping. Must be very busy.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Goodbye, then. I'll see you next Friday.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23Yes, yes.
0:07:54 > 0:07:58A-ha, Ben, my favourite customer.
0:07:58 > 0:08:01I know you're a man who knows a great deal when he hears one.
0:08:01 > 0:08:06I have a very special one-day-only offer.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07What is it, Raj?
0:08:07 > 0:08:1224 Cornettos for the price of...23!
0:08:12 > 0:08:17That's one Cornetto free of any charge! Only for my VIP customer.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20And what am I going to do with 24 Cornettos?
0:08:20 > 0:08:24Eat 12 now, and put 12 in your pockets for later.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26They're not out of date, are they?
0:08:29 > 0:08:31So, you're coming here for your Plumbing Weekly.
0:08:31 > 0:08:37I've kept it here safe for you, and this week there's a free gift.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41A U-bend. Cool. We need a new one of those.
0:08:42 > 0:08:47Do you spend all your spare time plumbing?
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Yeah, when I'm not at my boring old granny's.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52Tut tut, and a third tut.
0:08:52 > 0:08:56Just because your granny is old does not mean she is boring.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59She comes here on Wednesday afternoons to buy her
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Murray Mints and tissues,
0:09:01 > 0:09:06you know, granny equipment, and we have many interesting chats.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Really?
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Oh, yes. There is more to her than meets the eye.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14I bet your granny has a secret or two.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16Old people always do.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Not my granny. See you later.
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Is this right for a boy of his age?
0:09:36 > 0:09:40No. When I was his age I was like any normal lad.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Upstairs in my bedroom trying on sequinned outfits.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45BANGING
0:09:49 > 0:09:54Do you remember all those years ago, when you put your hands on my belly?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56We felt those little kicks and said...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59BOTH: He's going to be a dancer!
0:09:59 > 0:10:00BANGING
0:10:00 > 0:10:03What happened?
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Ben, are you going to be long? I need toilet.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Finished!- Go and have a manly chat with him.- But I really need to go.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Multi-task!
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Cor, men.
0:10:17 > 0:10:22So, Ben, we're having a guy chat. Father to son.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24What are we chatting about?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27Oh, er, football. Eh, son?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Football.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32To be honest, Dad, I don't really like football.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36- What?- I said I don't really like football.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39Me neither. It's just, me and your mum are worried.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41You spend all your time plumbing.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44But I love it, and I want to be a plumber when I grow up.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Yes, yes, but it's tough
0:10:46 > 0:10:48to make it to the very top of the plumbing world.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50You need something to fall back on.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Like what?
0:10:53 > 0:10:55Ballroom dancing.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01See you later.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04- See you tomorrow. Maybe more like 12.- Or one.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Benjamin, isn't it?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14Hello, Mr Parker. How's the Neighbourhood Watch?
0:11:17 > 0:11:2118 visits in as many weeks. Any weapons on you?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22No.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Nunchuckas?- No.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Ninja throwing stars?- No.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28- Bamboo fighting sticks?- No!
0:11:28 > 0:11:33So, you have spray cans with which you intend to graffiti-ise
0:11:33 > 0:11:35- the close.- No.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Hmm.
0:11:37 > 0:11:39Purpose of visit?
0:11:39 > 0:11:41I'm here to see my gran.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44- HE SCOFFS - The so-called pensioner.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46Terrence, camera please.
0:11:49 > 0:11:51Look into the lens.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57On your way.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Gran? I'm...
0:12:09 > 0:12:12- You hungry, Ben? - Sort of.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Oh, good, cos I've got a new cabbage soup on.
0:12:17 > 0:12:19To be honest, Gran...
0:12:19 > 0:12:23As much as I love cabbage, you know, I'm a bit...
0:12:23 > 0:12:25- Cabbaged out? - Yeah, exactly.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28And have you got anything that isn't...
0:12:28 > 0:12:33Cabbagey? Let me think. I might have some biscuits.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36There's a tin in the kitchen. Go have a look.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Try on top of the cupboard.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21You all right in there, Ben?
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Did you find anything?
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Not a thing. Nothing. No.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43I didn't find anything in the cupboard at all.
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Never mind. I'll just go stir up the cabbage stew then.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09MUSIC: Theme from Strictly Come Dancing
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Oh!
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Now, Mikey, please rip the cellophane off the dip assortment.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21With pleasure, lady.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Saturday night has begun.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Mum?- Sh! It's started.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34But it's only the titles bit.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Still! Sh.
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Hush!
0:14:38 > 0:14:40Dad,
0:14:40 > 0:14:42can I go to Granny's again tonight?
0:14:42 > 0:14:43Are you sure?
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Let me give her a call.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56How long does it take...? Oh, hello, Mother!
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Ben was wondering if he could come over later.
0:15:03 > 0:15:04Oh, really?
0:15:06 > 0:15:09All right. Goodbye then.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Sorry, son, she said she's going out.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16- What? But she never goes out. - Silence!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Please.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Flavio is on.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25And now let's have a quick chat with our red hot Latin lover,
0:15:25 > 0:15:27Flavio Flavioli.
0:15:27 > 0:15:32'Thanks, Claudia. This evening I am ready to rumba!'
0:15:34 > 0:15:38'Ladies, things are really going to hot up this week.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43'Oh, yes, it's a scorchie, scorchie, burn up the floor!'
0:17:21 > 0:17:25(Down here. Cameras. What on earth do you think you're doing?)
0:17:25 > 0:17:27What are you doing, more like?
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I asked first.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I followed you. I found the biscuit tin.
0:17:32 > 0:17:35- The one with the j...- You mustn't say a word about that tin.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Or what you saw here tonight. Promise?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Promise?!
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Promise. On one condition.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46You have to tell me everything.
0:17:49 > 0:17:53Come round tomorrow. Make sure nobody follows you.
0:17:53 > 0:17:55But before three.
0:17:55 > 0:17:56It's mobile library day.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00OK, Gran.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01But...
0:18:06 > 0:18:07Gran?
0:18:21 > 0:18:25CLATTERING
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Are you OK, Ben? We heard a lot of noise.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34And why is the window open?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- Have you been out? - Of course not.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Well, what have you been doing?
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Um, dancing?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49My man-to-man chat worked. As I knew it would.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54Yeah, I was really inspired by whatever it was you said.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57- I just had to give it a go. - He's got it now.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01He's got the bug. Open the Asti Spumante.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04Our boy is going to be a dancer.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Come here, son.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10I'm so proud of you.
0:19:13 > 0:19:17Yeah. Oh, no, that is a shame. Oh, how awful.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Yeah, yeah, no, I'll pass that on right away.
0:19:23 > 0:19:24OK, ta-ta.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Ben, I have good news. I have amazing news.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33I have sensational news. Which would you like first?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Er, the good news?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Ricky Diamond came off his skateboard yesterday -
0:19:38 > 0:19:39broke all his arms and legs!
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- Are you sure that's the good news? - Yes!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Because it brings us to the amazing news. Now,
0:19:45 > 0:19:48Florence Star needs a new partner for...
0:19:50 > 0:19:53..the Junior Regional Ballroom Championships!
0:19:53 > 0:19:57I don't think I'm ready for a competition just yet.
0:19:57 > 0:19:59Modest. Yes. The judges will lap it up.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03OK. What's the sensational news?
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Flavio.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07He's got a new puppy!
0:20:07 > 0:20:12Aww-w-w-w-w!
0:20:14 > 0:20:16You didn't say it was THAT Ben.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19He'd better be as good as you say he is, Linda.
0:20:19 > 0:20:21Dancing is in his blood. He's like me.
0:20:21 > 0:20:23That's what worries me.
0:20:23 > 0:20:26- Excuse me? - I said, "That's what worries me."
0:20:27 > 0:20:31Ben will not let you down. Will you?
0:20:31 > 0:20:32I hope he's versatile.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Florence is very versatile. - I can dance anything.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37I can dance tango, I can dance jive, I can dance foxtrot.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41I can dance swing. I can dance rock 'n' roll and Lindy hop.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44- I can dance anything, really. - She can dance anything, really.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47She's studying ballet for a week in Paris next year.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51- That's in France.- Oh, you see? She's a genius in geography too.
0:20:51 > 0:20:55Well, we'll leave you two to it. Make magic.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57Some really "wow" moments, please.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01Yeah. Yeah. Can we have some really "wow" moments, please?
0:21:01 > 0:21:02I just said that.
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Well, we haven't got long, so I've made a rehearsal plan.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21The thing is, Florence, I'm so good at dancing,
0:21:21 > 0:21:24I like to let my partners rehearse on their own first, you know?
0:21:24 > 0:21:25So they can get up to speed.
0:21:25 > 0:21:30I don't need to "get up to speed". I know every dance there is.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Do you though? Do you know the quicktrot?
0:21:33 > 0:21:36The rumbum? Can you do the shimmy shammy?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38You've made those up.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42You learn those and I'll see you in a week. Bye.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Ben!
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Oh, and don't forget the Spanish otter.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50This is amazing.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55I was just a girl when it all began.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I was from a very poor family.
0:21:57 > 0:22:02Growing up, I'd never even seen diamonds and sapphires,
0:22:02 > 0:22:06rubies like this. Oh! Look at it.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Buried under the ground for billions of years.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12What a beauty.
0:22:13 > 0:22:16Every one of these has its own story.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19What about this one?
0:22:19 > 0:22:23Ah, I stole that from a rich American heiress
0:22:23 > 0:22:26when I was working below decks on an ocean liner.
0:22:27 > 0:22:29Wow.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32And that one?
0:22:32 > 0:22:36From a castle in deepest, darkest Russia.
0:22:37 > 0:22:39It belonged to the last tsarina.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Wow, it's enormous.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45RUSTLING
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- What was that?- What was what?
0:22:47 > 0:22:49I thought someone was outside the window.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52I think your mind's playing tricks on you.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55Now, this is the biggest one.
0:22:58 > 0:23:03From a maharani in India, no less.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05I had to scale the wall of their palace.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07- How?- Well,
0:23:07 > 0:23:11I climbed onto the back of an elephant
0:23:11 > 0:23:15and shimmied up its trunk, right into the maharaja's chamber.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18You must have half the police in the world looking for you.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23Oh, yes. They couldn't catch me. But they gave me a name.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25The Black Cat.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28The Black Cat.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33Hold on. So how did you end up living in a small house
0:23:33 > 0:23:34with a broken telly?
0:23:34 > 0:23:38Oh, I never sold any of it. That's the way you get caught.
0:23:38 > 0:23:44But when your dad came along 40 years ago, I gave it up.
0:23:44 > 0:23:49Had to be a mum, not an international jewel thief.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51Now, how about a nice game of Scrabble?
0:23:51 > 0:23:53What? You can't play Scrabble.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55You're like someone from one of those songs
0:23:55 > 0:23:58I'm not allowed to listen to. You're a gangsta.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01It was a very long time ago.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02You're a gangsta.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- "Gangsta granny". - That's right.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08We've got to get you blinged up.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10You've got to get with the slang. So the police are...
0:24:10 > 0:24:12Bobbies?
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- HE SIGHS - Feds!
0:24:14 > 0:24:17MUSIC: "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith
0:24:20 > 0:24:23Oh, and a "sick tune" is a good song.
0:24:25 > 0:24:28Perry Como. He dropped some sick tunes.
0:24:28 > 0:24:29Get me?
0:24:31 > 0:24:34Imma going to jack your ice for shizza.
0:24:34 > 0:24:35Well good.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Yes, I'm sounding quite thugged out now.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- For real.- True dat, cos.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47These must be the most valuable jewels in the world.
0:24:47 > 0:24:51Oh, no. No, I never did get those.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Those? What were they?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00(It's Mr Parker outside the window!)
0:25:08 > 0:25:10- I can't see. - DOORBELL RINGS
0:25:10 > 0:25:14- I'm not going to chokey. Ben, stall him.- What? How?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18(But don't kill him.)
0:25:19 > 0:25:21(Unless you really have to.)
0:25:21 > 0:25:23DOORBELL RINGS
0:25:25 > 0:25:30Suspicious amount of jewellery on your grandmother.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I can explain.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34By the power vested in myself by myself,
0:25:34 > 0:25:36I shall conduct a full search of these premises.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38- You can't come in here.- Why not?
0:25:38 > 0:25:41Because...Granny's doing her naked yoga.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- HE SCOFFS - A likely story! Out of my way.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Madam, I demand to...
0:25:50 > 0:25:54Mr Parker, I'm in the middle of my tree pose.
0:25:54 > 0:25:55Yes, but, but, but I mean...
0:25:57 > 0:25:59- Where are the jewels? - What are you talking about?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01Hand them o...
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Hand them over, or this will become a matter for the police.
0:26:03 > 0:26:08Oh, fine. And when they get here, I'll report you.
0:26:08 > 0:26:12- What for?- Spying on old ladies in their underwear.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14But you were fully clothed when I looked through the window!
0:26:14 > 0:26:16That's what they all say.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21You've not heard the last of this.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29DOOR CLOSES
0:26:30 > 0:26:31(Better put the jewels away.)
0:26:31 > 0:26:33OK, but first...
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Yes, Ben?
0:26:35 > 0:26:38- You might want to put some clothes on.- Ooh, sorry.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43(Sorry, Ben. Sorry.)
0:26:50 > 0:26:51Ben?
0:26:53 > 0:26:54Benno?
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Ben-Ben!
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Benny Ben.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04The Ben man!
0:27:04 > 0:27:05BEN!
0:27:06 > 0:27:09Your mother needs to talk to you about your outfit.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11I don't really need a costume, do I?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16You need something with zhuzh.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18You need something with pizzazz.
0:27:18 > 0:27:19Something that says,
0:27:19 > 0:27:24"Everyone, look at me. Look at me, everyone.
0:27:24 > 0:27:25"And now!"
0:27:28 > 0:27:30I've had... I've had one or two ideas.
0:27:41 > 0:27:42The love bomb.
0:27:44 > 0:27:46Fruit cocktail.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Piano man.
0:27:51 > 0:27:52The Quality Street.
0:27:54 > 0:27:59Brian Cox's Wonders of the Solar System.
0:27:59 > 0:28:02The Hedgerow Ant Badger.
0:28:02 > 0:28:08And, finally, the Great British Bake-Off.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10The recipe for success.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13- Oh, that's special. - You're special.- Oh, stop it.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15Can't I just wear jeans and a T-shirt?
0:28:17 > 0:28:18Ben...
0:28:19 > 0:28:21The first one then.
0:28:21 > 0:28:23The love bomb it is.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26Now, I have to make the trousers more flarey.
0:28:26 > 0:28:29Do you think it needs more hearts?
0:28:29 > 0:28:31I think it needs more hearts. Yeah.
0:28:34 > 0:28:38- Dad, can I ask you a question? - What? Nothing too taxing, please.
0:28:38 > 0:28:39I was just wondering,
0:28:39 > 0:28:42what is the most valuable set of jewels in the world?
0:28:42 > 0:28:44Oh, I know this one. It was on Pointless.
0:28:44 > 0:28:46The Crown Jewels.
0:28:46 > 0:28:47Belongs to the Queen.
0:28:47 > 0:28:50You got the crown thing...
0:28:50 > 0:28:51The ball thing...
0:28:51 > 0:28:54The stick thing. Must be worth a fortune.
0:28:54 > 0:28:56Thanks, Dad. Got to go.
0:28:56 > 0:28:59Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'll need you for a fitting.
0:29:00 > 0:29:03Florence wants an extra practice.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05How do you know? She hasn't called.
0:29:05 > 0:29:07Well, when you're dance partners like me and Flo,
0:29:07 > 0:29:09you just know. It's telepathy.
0:29:13 > 0:29:17Ooh, OK, Florence, I'll be right with you.
0:29:28 > 0:29:30The binoculars, Terrence.
0:29:36 > 0:29:39Make a note of the colour of his trousers, son.
0:29:39 > 0:29:40DOOR BELL
0:29:40 > 0:29:42That's if they are his trousers.
0:29:42 > 0:29:44Purloined from the local charity shop.
0:29:46 > 0:29:48DOOR BELL
0:29:52 > 0:29:53Are you OK, Gran?
0:29:53 > 0:29:57Yes. Yes, oh, I'm fine, thank you.
0:29:57 > 0:30:00Well, I'm just having a little nap. Come in.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06It's the Crown Jewels.
0:30:08 > 0:30:09What's the Crown Jewels?
0:30:09 > 0:30:11The ones you never managed to steal.
0:30:11 > 0:30:13Oh, that's right.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16Oh, yeah, they are the most valuable jewels in the world.
0:30:16 > 0:30:20But stealing from the Queen...
0:30:21 > 0:30:23She looks like such a nice lady.
0:30:23 > 0:30:25She's got loads of jewels. She's not going to miss a few.
0:30:25 > 0:30:28Now, Ben, listen to me.
0:30:28 > 0:30:32I know you like hearing all my stories,
0:30:32 > 0:30:36but you really must forget about this whole stealing jewels malarkey.
0:30:36 > 0:30:39- But...- No, no. I've put it all behind me now.
0:30:40 > 0:30:44Besides, the Crown Jewels...
0:30:44 > 0:30:45It's impossible.
0:30:45 > 0:30:47Nothing's impossible for the Black Cat.
0:30:47 > 0:30:50MUSIC: "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen
0:30:50 > 0:30:53# Cos I'm having such a good time Having a good time
0:30:53 > 0:30:55# Don't stop me now
0:30:55 > 0:30:59# I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball
0:30:59 > 0:31:01# Don't stop me now
0:31:01 > 0:31:06# If you want to have a good time Just give me a call
0:31:06 > 0:31:09# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time
0:31:09 > 0:31:12# Don't stop me now Yes, I'm having a good time
0:31:12 > 0:31:16# I don't want to stop at all
0:31:16 > 0:31:18# Don't stop me now
0:31:18 > 0:31:22# I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball
0:31:22 > 0:31:24# Don't stop me now
0:31:24 > 0:31:29# If you want to have a good time Just give me a call
0:31:29 > 0:31:32# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time
0:31:32 > 0:31:35# Don't stop me now Yes, I'm having a good time
0:31:35 > 0:31:39# I don't want to stop at all. #
0:31:42 > 0:31:44Off to Gran's. I'm ready.
0:31:46 > 0:31:48Bad news, Ben.
0:31:48 > 0:31:50Granny's had a fall.
0:31:54 > 0:31:57- TANNOY:- Dr Sergeant to theatre, please. Dr Sergeant to theatre.
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Oh, hello, dears.
0:32:07 > 0:32:08Lovely of you to come.
0:32:08 > 0:32:10How are you feeling, Mum?
0:32:10 > 0:32:12Oh, not too clever.
0:32:12 > 0:32:15One minute I'm reaching for a tin of soup,
0:32:15 > 0:32:18the next I'm lying face downwards on the lino.
0:32:18 > 0:32:20How long were you there?
0:32:20 > 0:32:22Oh, not long.
0:32:22 > 0:32:23A day or so.
0:32:26 > 0:32:28I'm sorry, Mum.
0:32:28 > 0:32:30It's funny, cos I was going to call you yesterday.
0:32:30 > 0:32:33You know, for one of our...
0:32:33 > 0:32:35our girlie natters.
0:32:35 > 0:32:38Oh, well. You weren't to know, my dear.
0:32:38 > 0:32:40What did the doctors say?
0:32:40 > 0:32:46Well they've given me all sorts of tests. X-Rays, scans, whatnot.
0:32:46 > 0:32:49They're going to come and talk to me later.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51Hopefully won't be in here too long.
0:32:51 > 0:32:52I hope so too.
0:32:55 > 0:32:58Well, we better let you get some rest.
0:32:58 > 0:33:00Well, I'd like to stay a bit longer.
0:33:00 > 0:33:03- You know I don't like hospitals. - Yeah, but...- Michael.
0:33:06 > 0:33:10- We're off. - Yeah, thanks for coming.
0:33:14 > 0:33:15See you soon.
0:33:25 > 0:33:29- TANNOY:- Dr Lipsey to room 842. Dr Lipsey, please go to 842.
0:33:29 > 0:33:32Oh, I've left my bag in there.
0:33:32 > 0:33:35Don't worry. I'll meet you in the car park.
0:33:38 > 0:33:39I'm sorry.
0:33:40 > 0:33:42We just spotted it too late.
0:33:56 > 0:33:57Oh.
0:33:57 > 0:33:59You OK, Granny?
0:34:00 > 0:34:04Yes. Yes, I'm fine, thank you.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07Good, because I've worked out a way to steal the Crown Jewels.
0:34:07 > 0:34:09Oh, Ben.
0:34:09 > 0:34:11It's all about the plumbing.
0:34:11 > 0:34:14You see, the tower has a 500-year-old sewer
0:34:14 > 0:34:19running underneath it and that's our way in.
0:34:19 > 0:34:24You're forgetting the place is teeming with Beefeaters.
0:34:24 > 0:34:26I've memorised and timed all their patrol routes.
0:34:26 > 0:34:29And how do we get into the jewel house?
0:34:29 > 0:34:30Drill the locks off the doors?
0:34:30 > 0:34:33The Crown Jewels are kept behind bulletproof glass.
0:34:33 > 0:34:37Uncle Derrick. He got me this chemistry set from the market,
0:34:37 > 0:34:40and it has this metal that blows up when it touches water.
0:34:40 > 0:34:44Well, seems like you've thought the whole thing out.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Well?
0:34:46 > 0:34:49Oh, you're not serious?
0:34:49 > 0:34:51One last job for the Black Cat.
0:34:52 > 0:34:54One last job. Oh.
0:34:55 > 0:34:57So, what do you think?
0:35:00 > 0:35:02- I'm in.- Yes!
0:35:03 > 0:35:06Ben, there's one small problem.
0:35:06 > 0:35:09- What?- I'm not meant to leave here.
0:35:15 > 0:35:18HE WHISTLES
0:35:21 > 0:35:22Excuse me.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Excuse me.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Mrs Norris.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Mrs Norris!
0:35:34 > 0:35:35Hey, there!
0:35:36 > 0:35:37Mrs Norris!
0:35:48 > 0:35:49You're not a doctor.
0:35:49 > 0:35:50- DEEP VOICE:- I am.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52Yes. Yes.
0:35:53 > 0:35:55(He's got YFS.)
0:35:55 > 0:35:56What?
0:35:56 > 0:35:58Young Face Syndrome.
0:35:58 > 0:36:01It's what inspired him to go into medicine.
0:36:01 > 0:36:02I'm 52.
0:36:02 > 0:36:03- LIFT:- Doors opening.
0:36:16 > 0:36:17They discharged me.
0:36:20 > 0:36:22Drive!
0:36:38 > 0:36:41So, Granny, do you need a couple of days to get your strength back?
0:36:43 > 0:36:46No. No, it has to be sooner.
0:36:47 > 0:36:50RECORDING: 'Let's do it on Friday.'
0:36:50 > 0:36:54'Just think, this time next week the Crown Jewels will be ours.'
0:36:54 > 0:36:57- 'One last job for the Black Cat.' - 'Yeah.'
0:36:57 > 0:37:01Oh, you silver-maned menace.
0:37:01 > 0:37:03I have you now.
0:37:18 > 0:37:21It's Friday night. You ready, son?
0:37:21 > 0:37:24Yeah. You don't have to pick me up too early tomorrow.
0:37:24 > 0:37:26Me and Gran will be playing Scrabble way into the night.
0:37:26 > 0:37:29You're not going to Granny's tonight.
0:37:29 > 0:37:30No?
0:37:30 > 0:37:32No.
0:37:33 > 0:37:35Oh, he's pretending he's forgotten.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39It's the ballroom championships.
0:37:40 > 0:37:41Oh.
0:37:41 > 0:37:47MUSIC: "Et C'est La Rencontre" by Frederic Clement
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Let's hope Ben doesn't let my princess down.
0:38:11 > 0:38:13As if my little prince would.
0:38:13 > 0:38:16Your boy hasn't turned up to any rehearsals.
0:38:16 > 0:38:18He used telephony.
0:38:20 > 0:38:23Anything less than straight tens would be a disappointment.
0:38:23 > 0:38:28Anything less than straight tens would be a disappointment.
0:38:28 > 0:38:30Yeah, I said that.
0:38:31 > 0:38:35ITALIAN ACCENT: Please welcome your host for this evening,
0:38:35 > 0:38:36the star of Strictly.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39And he was once a guest on Saturday Kitchen.
0:38:39 > 0:38:42Go wild...
0:38:42 > 0:38:45for Flavio Flavioli!
0:38:45 > 0:38:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:38:56 > 0:38:58Good evening...
0:38:58 > 0:39:00Basildon.
0:39:00 > 0:39:04Are you ready to rumba?
0:39:04 > 0:39:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:06 > 0:39:08No, no, no.
0:39:08 > 0:39:11Flavio. He no hear you. I say,
0:39:11 > 0:39:15are you ready to rumba?
0:39:15 > 0:39:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:39:20 > 0:39:23I don't want to hurt you, Flavio. I just want to love you.
0:39:23 > 0:39:26SILENCE
0:39:28 > 0:39:30APPLAUSE
0:39:34 > 0:39:39Ben, we haven't practised once.
0:39:39 > 0:39:40I need to ask you a question
0:39:40 > 0:39:44and I promise I won't be angry with you if you answer me honestly.
0:39:47 > 0:39:48Have you ever danced before?
0:39:48 > 0:39:49Um...
0:39:51 > 0:39:53No.
0:39:54 > 0:39:56I hate you. I hate you.
0:39:56 > 0:39:58I hate you!
0:39:58 > 0:39:59Superbio.
0:39:59 > 0:40:04Please welcome our next young ballroom superstars,
0:40:04 > 0:40:07Florence and Ben.
0:40:07 > 0:40:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:40:15 > 0:40:16You're on your own.
0:40:25 > 0:40:27WALTZ PLAYS
0:40:39 > 0:40:40(Dance.)
0:41:38 > 0:41:39MUSIC STOPS
0:41:39 > 0:41:40FEEDBACK
0:41:49 > 0:41:52Well, that was, how you say, interesting.
0:41:52 > 0:41:57Well, let's see what our judges think about your performance.
0:41:57 > 0:42:01Over to you, judges, with the scores!
0:42:08 > 0:42:11BOOING AND HISSING
0:42:16 > 0:42:18HE SIGHS
0:42:22 > 0:42:26So you have 0, 0, 0,
0:42:26 > 0:42:29which give you a combined total of 0.
0:42:29 > 0:42:33You ruined it for my princess!
0:42:44 > 0:42:46AUDIENCE GASPS
0:42:48 > 0:42:49Flavio!
0:42:51 > 0:42:52He needs the kiss of life.
0:43:10 > 0:43:13ENGLISH ACCENT: Get off me, you nutter!
0:43:13 > 0:43:17We need to get out of here now!
0:43:17 > 0:43:19Come on. Let's get them.
0:43:40 > 0:43:42I'm sorry.
0:43:42 > 0:43:44SHE SOBS AND MUMBLES
0:43:47 > 0:43:48Yes, you're right.
0:43:48 > 0:43:50We have done everything for him.
0:43:50 > 0:43:53SOBBING AND MUMBLING CONTINUE
0:43:53 > 0:43:56No, you don't deserve this.
0:44:00 > 0:44:03Yes, I agree, Linda. You did go too far with Flavio.
0:44:03 > 0:44:05I did not say that.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18KNOCK ON WINDOW
0:44:20 > 0:44:22Where were you?
0:44:22 > 0:44:24We said 7!
0:44:25 > 0:44:27Granny?
0:44:27 > 0:44:28The Black Cat, actually.
0:44:29 > 0:44:31Why are you dressed as a teddy from a card shop?
0:44:31 > 0:44:34Mum made me. It's a long story.
0:44:34 > 0:44:36Shut it. No time. You ready?
0:44:36 > 0:44:37Ready for what?
0:44:37 > 0:44:40To steal the blooming Crown Jewels!
0:45:21 > 0:45:23SIREN WAILS
0:45:23 > 0:45:27Oh, it's the feds. Hold on, I'm going to floor it.
0:45:29 > 0:45:31Go on, Granny, they're catching up.
0:45:34 > 0:45:36Come on, Granny, they're getting closer!
0:45:50 > 0:45:52Is this your vehicle, madam?
0:45:52 > 0:45:54Yes, Officer.
0:45:56 > 0:45:57Because we've had reports
0:45:57 > 0:46:01of one of these being driven illegally on a motorway.
0:46:01 > 0:46:04Speeds of up to eight miles an hour.
0:46:06 > 0:46:08Two people.
0:46:09 > 0:46:10Also illegal.
0:46:14 > 0:46:15Wouldn't be you, would it?
0:46:15 > 0:46:18Oh! SHE CHUCKLES
0:46:20 > 0:46:21Have you been drinking?
0:46:22 > 0:46:25I had a glass of sherry at Easter.
0:46:27 > 0:46:31So...what are you two doing out so late?
0:46:31 > 0:46:36We're going to a late-night rally of mobility scooters.
0:46:37 > 0:46:40Rally of mobility scooters.
0:46:42 > 0:46:44And where is this mobility scooter rally exactly?
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Near the Tower of London.
0:46:46 > 0:46:48Oh, but don't worry,
0:46:48 > 0:46:51we're not going to steal anything from the Tower of London.
0:46:51 > 0:46:54No, that would be wrong. No, we are going there
0:46:54 > 0:46:57purely for the mobility scooter rally.
0:46:59 > 0:47:01Well...
0:47:01 > 0:47:02We'd better be off.
0:47:04 > 0:47:06Stop right there.
0:47:08 > 0:47:09Let me give you a lift.
0:47:20 > 0:47:21Enjoy the rally.
0:47:25 > 0:47:26Nincompoop.
0:47:31 > 0:47:33Oh, blimey.
0:47:34 > 0:47:37Right, so...
0:47:38 > 0:47:43..the drain cover should be right about...
0:47:44 > 0:47:46..here.
0:47:48 > 0:47:50TYRES SQUEAL
0:47:50 > 0:47:53Oh, come on, Millicent.
0:47:53 > 0:47:56Come on, old girl, you can do it.
0:47:59 > 0:48:00Oh.
0:48:06 > 0:48:07Stop!
0:48:07 > 0:48:09Phew!
0:48:20 > 0:48:22Do you want to say it or shall I?
0:48:22 > 0:48:24You say it.
0:48:24 > 0:48:26Let's rock'n'roll!
0:48:26 > 0:48:27THEY LAUGH
0:48:30 > 0:48:32How long does this go on for?
0:48:33 > 0:48:36It's actually one of the longest stretches of sewer in London.
0:48:36 > 0:48:39Well, aren't I the lucky one?
0:48:39 > 0:48:42SQUEAKING Oh! What was that?
0:48:42 > 0:48:43It's probably just a rat.
0:48:50 > 0:48:52Steady.
0:48:54 > 0:48:55Oh.
0:48:59 > 0:49:01Over here. Look. Go, go, go.
0:49:26 > 0:49:29Beefeaters everywhere. They must have put more on tonight.
0:49:35 > 0:49:37Don't worry. I've got an idea.
0:50:11 > 0:50:12Quick!
0:51:32 > 0:51:36Oh, my stars and garters, they're beautiful!
0:51:36 > 0:51:38Wow!
0:52:02 > 0:52:05Back. Back.
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Now, here,
0:52:07 > 0:52:12squirt on the count of 5, 4, 3, 2...
0:52:12 > 0:52:13Ahem!
0:52:15 > 0:52:16Your Majesty!
0:52:19 > 0:52:21What on earth are you doing here?
0:52:21 > 0:52:24I mean, what on earth are you doing here, Ma'am?
0:52:26 > 0:52:29One has a Queen's speech to write...
0:52:31 > 0:52:33..and I find it easier...
0:52:33 > 0:52:35SHE PRESSES KEY PAD
0:52:35 > 0:52:39..to think queenly thoughts wearing the right sort of hat.
0:52:45 > 0:52:47Hm...
0:52:47 > 0:52:49Yeah. That's better.
0:52:50 > 0:52:52Now, more to the point, what are you two doing here?
0:52:52 > 0:52:56It... It's quite difficult to explain, Your Majesty.
0:52:59 > 0:53:01Do you have one of these?
0:53:01 > 0:53:02They give them to the elderly.
0:53:02 > 0:53:05You press that button and help comes.
0:53:05 > 0:53:07Only my one brings the SAS,
0:53:07 > 0:53:11so you better start explaining or it's clicky-clicky, shooty-shooty.
0:53:12 > 0:53:14I am solely to blame.
0:53:14 > 0:53:17No, it was me who said we should steal the Crown Jewels.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19But it was me that started this whole thing
0:53:19 > 0:53:23when I pretended to be an international jewel thief.
0:53:23 > 0:53:24Pretended?!
0:53:25 > 0:53:30My grandson. He hated staying with me.
0:53:30 > 0:53:32I heard him saying how boring I was.
0:53:32 > 0:53:34I don't think that now!
0:53:34 > 0:53:37No, I know, dear, but the truth is I WAS boring.
0:53:37 > 0:53:41I just ate cabbage and played Scrabble.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45So one night I made up a story to amuse him
0:53:45 > 0:53:48that I was really the Black Cat.
0:53:48 > 0:53:51Hang on. What about the jewels in the tin?
0:53:51 > 0:53:53Worthless, dear. Costume jewellery.
0:53:53 > 0:53:56Your dad used to play with them when he was a boy.
0:53:56 > 0:54:00Oh, do what you want with me.
0:54:00 > 0:54:05Lock me up in the Tower for ever, but, I beg of you, let the boy go.
0:54:05 > 0:54:06He's only 11.
0:54:06 > 0:54:07Nearly 12!
0:54:10 > 0:54:12What to do?
0:54:12 > 0:54:16On the one hand, one finds the story very touching,
0:54:16 > 0:54:18yet you have committed high treason
0:54:18 > 0:54:21and it's so long since we've had a good hanging...
0:54:23 > 0:54:28..but one does understand, one is a grandmother oneself,
0:54:28 > 0:54:30and between you and me,
0:54:30 > 0:54:33I know that my own grandchildren sometimes find me dull.
0:54:33 > 0:54:35But you're the Queen!
0:54:35 > 0:54:36Tell me about it.
0:54:36 > 0:54:40They sometimes forget you were young once, don't they?
0:54:40 > 0:54:42Mmm. You know, the young people of this country
0:54:42 > 0:54:44should give more time to the elderly.
0:54:44 > 0:54:46Yes, yes.
0:54:46 > 0:54:47Do you know what happened
0:54:47 > 0:54:49to the last man who tried to steal the Crown Jewels?
0:54:52 > 0:54:54He was pardoned.
0:54:54 > 0:55:00In 1671, a Colonel Blood was caught in the very act of robbery...
0:55:00 > 0:55:03and King Charles II found his daring so amusing...
0:55:03 > 0:55:04SHE LAUGHS
0:55:04 > 0:55:06..that he decided to let him go free.
0:55:07 > 0:55:12So in strict Royal tradition, that is what I shall do.
0:55:12 > 0:55:13You may leave.
0:55:13 > 0:55:16Thank you. Thank you, Your Majesty.
0:55:16 > 0:55:21No, no, no, no grovelling, please. That's just for work days.
0:55:26 > 0:55:30RUNNING FOOTSTEPS
0:55:30 > 0:55:32We heard voices, Your Majesty.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35Just talking to myself again, boys.
0:55:50 > 0:55:52Ooh!
0:55:56 > 0:55:57Now, Ben...
0:55:59 > 0:56:02- ..it's been quite a night. - I loved it.
0:56:02 > 0:56:05But don't get a taste for this sort of thing.
0:56:05 > 0:56:07Plumbing is your gift.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09- I know. - Good boy.
0:56:09 > 0:56:12We were very lucky to get away with it.
0:56:14 > 0:56:17SIRENS BLARE
0:56:17 > 0:56:18TYRES SCREECH
0:56:20 > 0:56:22WHIRRING OF HELICOPTER
0:56:31 > 0:56:36'Put your hands in the air and step away from the tartan shopper.'
0:56:53 > 0:56:56Thought you could steal the Crown Jewels?
0:56:56 > 0:56:59Well, it's all over.
0:56:59 > 0:57:02Only crown you'll be seeing from now on is the inside of a Crown Court.
0:57:05 > 0:57:10If we stole the Crown Jewels, Mr Parker, where are they?
0:57:11 > 0:57:12Stephens.
0:57:15 > 0:57:17HE UNZIPS TARTAN SHOPPER
0:57:20 > 0:57:24Washing up liquid bottle. Air fresheners.
0:57:26 > 0:57:30Tin of cabbage soup... and another tin of cabbage soup.
0:57:30 > 0:57:35Mr Parker, this had better not be another false alarm.
0:57:35 > 0:57:37Where have you been all night?
0:57:37 > 0:57:40We were at a mobility scooter rally.
0:57:41 > 0:57:43HE SCOFFS
0:57:43 > 0:57:45- If you believe that you'll believe...- It's true.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49I gave them a lift there.
0:57:50 > 0:57:52But we heard them! Didn't we, Terrence?
0:57:52 > 0:57:54She's an international jewel thief!
0:57:55 > 0:57:58Me?! SHE CHUCKLES
0:57:58 > 0:58:00I'm just a boring old granny.
0:58:00 > 0:58:04THEY LAUGH
0:58:04 > 0:58:07LAUGHTER SPREADS
0:58:09 > 0:58:12LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:58:12 > 0:58:15All elements stand down.
0:58:15 > 0:58:18Come on. Wrap it up.
0:58:20 > 0:58:22Come on, lads.
0:58:27 > 0:58:31Dad, next weekend, can we PLEASE just play crazy golf?
0:58:32 > 0:58:34Yes, son.
0:58:34 > 0:58:36As long as you let me win.
0:58:39 > 0:58:43SHE CHUCKLES
0:58:43 > 0:58:46- Oh, I'm cream-crackered.- Me too.
0:58:47 > 0:58:50I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
0:58:51 > 0:58:54Oh, the joy of being alive!
0:58:56 > 0:58:58Are you OK, Gran?
0:58:58 > 0:59:01I'm fine, honestly. I'm...
0:59:04 > 0:59:05Oh...
0:59:08 > 0:59:09Ben...
0:59:10 > 0:59:14I lied to you at the hospital.
0:59:15 > 0:59:16What?!
0:59:16 > 0:59:19Well, what the doctor told me was that
0:59:19 > 0:59:22what I've got... won't get better.
0:59:24 > 0:59:26Now, I haven't got long, but I...
0:59:30 > 0:59:32Listen...
0:59:34 > 0:59:38Nobody lives forever, hmm?
0:59:38 > 0:59:43But...I hope you don't forget your boring old granny.
0:59:43 > 0:59:44Never.
0:59:48 > 0:59:51SHE LAUGHS
0:59:59 > 1:00:03Ben, your dad and I have had a little chat.
1:00:04 > 1:00:07We were wrong to make you do the dancing
1:00:07 > 1:00:10- when your heart clearly isn't in it. - And you're not very good.
1:00:17 > 1:00:22You like plumbing... so plumb all you like.
1:00:24 > 1:00:27And just take your dance classes at weekends.
1:00:27 > 1:00:31Mum, Dad...Granny's not well.
1:00:34 > 1:00:38I know. I spoke to the doctor.
1:00:38 > 1:00:40I didn't want to upset you,
1:00:40 > 1:00:43and Granny wouldn't want us to worry, but...
1:00:43 > 1:00:45I am worried.
1:00:45 > 1:00:46I don't want to lose her.
1:00:48 > 1:00:51We'll all look after her from now on.
1:00:51 > 1:00:53Together.
1:00:56 > 1:00:59SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS
1:01:13 > 1:01:16MUSIC CONTINUES
1:01:20 > 1:01:23MUSIC CONTINUES
1:01:28 > 1:01:31MUSIC CONTINUES
1:02:10 > 1:02:11You know what I'll miss the most?
1:02:13 > 1:02:15The stories she used to tell.
1:02:15 > 1:02:20When I was little, she used to make up the most amazing tales for me.
1:02:21 > 1:02:22Me too.
1:02:22 > 1:02:24I'll never forget them.
1:02:26 > 1:02:29Did she make up stories for you about the jewels?
1:02:29 > 1:02:31What jewels?
1:02:31 > 1:02:34The costume jewels? The ones you played with when you were a boy.
1:02:36 > 1:02:37No...
1:02:37 > 1:02:40we never had any jewels in the house growing up.
1:02:40 > 1:02:42I'd remember that.
1:02:43 > 1:02:46That's weird. That's really weird.
1:02:47 > 1:02:52Thing is, Ben, your granny was so good at spinning the yarn...
1:02:52 > 1:02:56you could never quite be sure what was made up and what was real.
1:02:58 > 1:03:00What happened to all her stuff?
1:03:00 > 1:03:03Well, kept all her old photographs for us to have
1:03:03 > 1:03:06and a few other bits and bobs.
1:03:06 > 1:03:09Everything else went to the charity shop.
1:03:09 > 1:03:11That's what she would have wanted.
1:03:24 > 1:03:28A-ha, Benjamin! How are you getting on?
1:03:28 > 1:03:29OK.
1:03:29 > 1:03:32Your grandmother was a very special lady.
1:03:32 > 1:03:34Thanks, Raj.
1:03:34 > 1:03:37And in her memory I would like to give you a free gift.
1:03:37 > 1:03:42She loved a bag of Murray Mints, so...here you are.
1:03:42 > 1:03:44Thank you.
1:03:44 > 1:03:46It's just the one mint.
1:03:46 > 1:03:47Oh.
1:03:47 > 1:03:50Go on, then. Have the whole bag.
1:03:51 > 1:03:54- Thank you.- 59 pence.
1:03:57 > 1:03:59- What's this? - Haven't you heard?
1:03:59 > 1:04:04Someone left a load of jewels outside the local charity shop,
1:04:04 > 1:04:06in an old biscuit tin.
1:04:06 > 1:04:09They say it's worth millions!
1:04:31 > 1:04:33A perfect Bengal mahogany.
1:04:42 > 1:04:46A spring ball cock, and a £30 voucher for lagging material.
1:04:46 > 1:04:47Thanks!
1:04:49 > 1:04:52Now, Mikey, unleash the luxury chocolate assortment,
1:04:52 > 1:04:54for it is time for Her Majesty.
1:04:54 > 1:04:57REGAL MUSIC PLAYS
1:05:04 > 1:05:07'Christmas is a special time of year.
1:05:07 > 1:05:11'A time for people of all ages to celebrate together.
1:05:11 > 1:05:15'Recently, I met an elderly woman and her grandson at the Tower of London.
1:05:15 > 1:05:17'I was struck by the great affection
1:05:17 > 1:05:20'which spanned the many years between them.
1:05:20 > 1:05:23'So today, I urge the young people of this country
1:05:23 > 1:05:25'to be more like that boy.
1:05:25 > 1:05:28'Talk to us old folk, and listen too.
1:05:28 > 1:05:31'And remember - just because we're old doesn't mean we're boring.
1:05:31 > 1:05:34'You never know when we might surprise you.'
1:05:35 > 1:05:38'I mean, it's fine and dandy being Queen,
1:05:38 > 1:05:40'but, for all these years, all I've really wanted to do...
1:05:40 > 1:05:43'is dance. Hit it.'
1:05:43 > 1:05:47MUSIC: "Skip To The Good Bit" by Rizzle Kicks
1:05:49 > 1:05:52# Let's skip to the good bit
1:05:52 > 1:05:56# Say, say, say, say, say
1:05:56 > 1:05:58# Skip skip skip skip
1:05:58 > 1:06:00# So, been here two days long
1:06:00 > 1:06:02# Still not stepped that stone
1:06:02 > 1:06:05# Still not moving on, on
1:06:05 > 1:06:06# Now, let us go
1:06:06 > 1:06:08# I will take control... #
1:06:08 > 1:06:10She's good.
1:06:10 > 1:06:13I've always said. Her Majesty should do Strictly.
1:06:13 > 1:06:15# I like your style
1:06:15 > 1:06:16# Been watching you for a while
1:06:16 > 1:06:18# I said, Oh, yeah
1:06:18 > 1:06:19# Let's dance and then...
1:06:19 > 1:06:21# Let's skip to the good bit
1:06:21 > 1:06:23# Oh!
1:06:27 > 1:06:29# Let's skip to the good bit
1:06:29 > 1:06:33# Oh! Say, say, say, say, say, say
1:06:33 > 1:06:34# Skip skip skip
1:06:34 > 1:06:36# Skip to the good bit
1:06:36 > 1:06:39# Let's skip, let's skip
1:06:39 > 1:06:41# To the good bit
1:06:41 > 1:06:44# Oh-oh-oh. #