0:00:37 > 0:00:39I'm Dennis.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42I live in an ordinary house in an ordinary street
0:00:42 > 0:00:44in an ordinary town.
0:00:44 > 0:00:47But I feel... different.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56I go to an ordinary school.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59But I feel different there, too.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Put him on an amber alert.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Thank you.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Ah - Lisa James. The serial offender.
0:01:23 > 0:01:26Shall I measure her skirt, Mr Hawthorn?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Lisa James is the coolest girl there.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33She's always trying to bring some style to the school.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34- IN FRENCH ACCENT:- Dennis?
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Que voulez-vous acheter dans le magasin?
0:01:40 > 0:01:42Um...
0:01:42 > 0:01:44Une voiture?
0:01:44 > 0:01:46SCATTERED LAUGHTER
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Mais, c'est une boulangerie!
0:01:49 > 0:01:53Nous ne vendons pas de voiture dans une boulangerie.
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Ecoutez, Dennis. Ecoutez. Isabel?
0:01:57 > 0:01:59De... je pain
0:01:59 > 0:02:02Du. DU pain, oui. Du pain, du pain.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05The teachers moan that I'm always daydreaming.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Saturdays are the best, cos that means football.
0:02:10 > 0:02:14- All right, Darvesh?- Yep. - Hi, Jaspreet. Is that a new dupatta?
0:02:14 > 0:02:19Yes, thank you Dennis, it is. Oh, you always notice things!
0:02:19 > 0:02:22Wish my son would notice things like that.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25ENGINE STARTS I notice you're embarrassing.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27WHISTLE BLOWS
0:02:27 > 0:02:28CROWD SHOUTS
0:02:28 > 0:02:30Football is the one thing I'm good at.
0:02:30 > 0:02:32Go on, Dennis!
0:02:32 > 0:02:33The one thing that's mine.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Yes! Goal!
0:02:39 > 0:02:43But I still don't feel like I fit in.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Dad doesn't come to watch any more.
0:02:46 > 0:02:49But these days he has got a lot on his plate.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52FIGHTING SOUNDS FROM TV
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh! I'm knackered just watching that lot.
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Sausages are a bit burnt.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05And I forgot to put the hob on for the peas, but they'll soon melt.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Things aren't easy in my family.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11It was better when Mum was around.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13HE COUGHS
0:03:14 > 0:03:18When you were with her, you felt like anything could happen.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Come on, everyone! Don't be boring!
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Then, one day, it did.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27She left.
0:03:27 > 0:03:31After she'd gone, Dad burned every single picture we had of her.
0:03:45 > 0:03:47But I managed to save one.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55- What you doing?- Ssh!
0:03:57 > 0:04:02But Dad being Dad, he couldn't resist cooking some sausages at the same time.
0:04:05 > 0:04:09I suppose I wanted to escape to some magical world.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14And I found it in the most unexpected place.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20SHOP BELL JINGLES
0:04:32 > 0:04:35FEMALE VOICE WHISPERS: Dennis!
0:04:40 > 0:04:42Dennis!
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Boys can like Vogue too, you know...
0:04:55 > 0:04:56Ahem!
0:04:56 > 0:05:0033 seconds. That counts as browsing.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Just Match and... (Vogue.)
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Uh-huh.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Vogue!
0:05:25 > 0:05:28- HE CHUCKLES - The fashionista's Bible.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31- SHOP BELL JINGLES - An unusual choice for a 12-year-old boy.
0:05:31 > 0:05:32Raj, I need to be getting home, so...
0:05:32 > 0:05:37Come to think of it, I've never had a boy your age buy Vogue.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39It's a Christmas present. For my auntie.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Oh, oh, oh! Then you will need a card.
0:05:42 > 0:05:44- A card?- Uh-huh. To go with the present.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48I have Santa, a snowman, reindeers,
0:05:48 > 0:05:50"with deepest sympathy"...
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- No, no, no. That's not right. - The Santa one is fine.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57Then you will want wrapping paper and sticking tape,
0:05:57 > 0:05:58and - oh, oh, oh! - a gift tag.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00That is £9.
0:06:06 > 0:06:07HE SNIFFS
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Come on, Dennis. Strike a pose.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16SONG: Come Fly With Me by Michael Buble
0:06:16 > 0:06:20# Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away
0:06:20 > 0:06:24# If you can use some exotic booze
0:06:24 > 0:06:28# There's a bar in far Bombay
0:06:28 > 0:06:33# Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away... #
0:06:33 > 0:06:35- Dennis? - MUSIC STOPS
0:06:41 > 0:06:43- What you doing? - HE SNIFFS
0:06:43 > 0:06:47Nothing. Just...thinking.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49What?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54You know how when we were little, we'd dress as pirates and Daleks?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Yeah.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Don't you sort of miss that?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00Nah. Got better things to do now.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Like hang around outside the offy?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Nah. That's boring. We hang around outside the Pound Shop.
0:07:09 > 0:07:13HE SNORES
0:07:43 > 0:07:47See you later! See you very soon. SHE LAUGHS
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- BOTH SHOUTING: It's a party! - I'm not 18 years old!
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- Why did you agree to have a party? - You're acting like I'm not here!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Think it shrunk a bit.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12- There you go.- Thanks, Dad.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Right, now. The lorry's being serviced today, so I've got a bit of time.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18I was going to fix that leaky pipe in your room.
0:08:19 > 0:08:22- Where you going? - Forgot my maths book.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31KNOCK AT DOOR
0:08:36 > 0:08:39- Hiya, Peter!- Hi, Jaspreet.
0:08:41 > 0:08:43Dennis'll be down in a sec.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47Oh! Not too soon, I hope. I do so enjoy our little chats.
0:08:47 > 0:08:48Dennis!
0:08:51 > 0:08:52Any sec now. Just...
0:08:53 > 0:08:56- Dennis! - FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Get down here! Here we are.
0:08:58 > 0:09:00Hiya. Bye, Dad.
0:09:00 > 0:09:02All the best. Thanks for taking him again.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04Oh, no. Not at all, Peter.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07And if you need anything, just call.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11Anything at all, day or...night.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Oh. Yep.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16I'll just, er...
0:09:19 > 0:09:22(There we are, then.)
0:09:22 > 0:09:23See you later!
0:09:26 > 0:09:27HE EXHALES
0:09:27 > 0:09:28Yeah, I'm the captain.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30Chief goal scorer, so I take all the penalties.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32He takes all the penalties.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44BALL THUDS REVERBERATE
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Why do we have a school uniform, Miss James?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55To keep the nylon factories going, sir?
0:09:55 > 0:09:59Because a uniform ensures discipline and without discipline...
0:09:59 > 0:10:02Chaos ensues.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04Miss Price, I am capable of finishing my own...
0:10:04 > 0:10:06Sentences.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10Sorry, Mr Hawthorn.
0:10:10 > 0:10:14Oi, Simms! Think you're clever, don't you?
0:10:16 > 0:10:17I'm just practising.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20Well, let's see if you've improved, then.
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Hit that can.
0:10:28 > 0:10:29THUD!
0:10:29 > 0:10:32RICOCHET PINGS
0:10:32 > 0:10:33CLANG!
0:10:35 > 0:10:39I expect everyone at this school to be dressed immaculately at all times.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41RAPID CLANGS
0:10:41 > 0:10:42MISS PRICE GASPS
0:10:42 > 0:10:44HE STAMMERS
0:10:47 > 0:10:50STUDENTS WHISPER
0:10:50 > 0:10:56Ssh! Quiet, please. This is a detention, it's not a discotheque.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58CLOCK TICKS
0:11:07 > 0:11:08What are you in for?
0:11:11 > 0:11:13Kicked a ball through the Head's window.
0:11:13 > 0:11:17That was you? Respect.
0:11:17 > 0:11:20- What's your name? - Dennis Simms.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22- John's little brother?- Yeah.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28- I'm Lisa.- I know. You're a legend! You're the coolest girl in school.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32I love the way you dress. Every day there's a new little twist and...
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Don't worry, I'm not obsessed.
0:11:36 > 0:11:39No, no. You don't sound it at all(!)
0:11:50 > 0:11:51Vogue!
0:11:51 > 0:11:54That's not mine. I don't know how that got there.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Can you get on with your work, please?
0:11:55 > 0:11:58I'm trying to buy some Christmas present...
0:11:58 > 0:11:59I meant - I'm doing marking.
0:12:04 > 0:12:07I thought I was the only one round here who read this.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09You are, cos, like I said, it's not mine.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13- You into haute couture or pret-a-porter?- I'm easy.
0:12:16 > 0:12:19You're new to all this, aren't you?
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Don't Pret make sandwiches?
0:12:21 > 0:12:22SHE LAUGHS
0:12:23 > 0:12:26But some of that stuff is too mad to wear, surely.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28And there's a cardigan on one page and it says it costs £300.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30That has got to be a mistake?
0:12:30 > 0:12:32So many questions, young Hobbit.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34And there was one dress, and it had shoulders out here.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36I mean, how can you get on the bus in that?
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Oh. Well, this is my house. Bye.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40Oh, OK.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Bye.
0:12:45 > 0:12:47So, you'll come round Saturday, then?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49- What for?- To learn.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Everything.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Where are you going?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03To Lisa James' house.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Oh, yeah. And I've got a date with Rihanna(!)
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Hey.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15All right? Come in. Fancy a drink?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Why not?
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Champagne cocktail?
0:13:21 > 0:13:22You're underage.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25Um Bongo?
0:13:27 > 0:13:33- That's gorgeous!- Classic Dior. Look at this from the '70s.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35You see how the lines are all the same?
0:13:35 > 0:13:40Now, this is Italian Vogue. My favourite.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43- You'd look amazing in that. - Wouldn't anyone?
0:13:43 > 0:13:46My mum loved to dress up. She always looked great.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49What happened to her?
0:13:49 > 0:13:52She ran off with this guy who's got his own roofing company.
0:13:52 > 0:13:56Granny says they've got a baby together now.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58- I'm sorry.- Me too.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Now I live in a house full of blokes.
0:14:00 > 0:14:03It's just so boring and grey sometimes.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Can I show you something?
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Wow! Who made that?
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Me.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20I'd do it at school, but the Head won't let us do fashion tech.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23How am I meant to be a designer if I can't even get any qualifications?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25It's beautiful.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28Maybe...
0:14:28 > 0:14:30you should try it on?
0:14:30 > 0:14:32What? No!
0:14:32 > 0:14:33- Go on, try it on. - I can't do that.
0:14:33 > 0:14:36Who's going to have a problem with it?
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Well, let's see -
0:14:38 > 0:14:43my dad, my brother, the Head, the football team,
0:14:43 > 0:14:45oh - and everyone else I know.
0:14:45 > 0:14:46Not me.
0:14:47 > 0:14:50I don't think there should be any rules.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53I think we should all wear...
0:14:53 > 0:14:56whatever we like.
0:14:56 > 0:15:01Yeah, but whoever heard of a boy in a dress?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- We've got the Christmas things from out the shed.- Oh, right.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14Thought we could all do the tree together.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15I used to do that with your mum.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21I was on tinsel, she was on baubles.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25Let's do it later, yeah?
0:15:28 > 0:15:30Why don't you come to the semifinals?
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- Can't remember the last time you saw me play footy.- Oh, I can.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35She came, too.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37It was just before that...
0:15:37 > 0:15:41so-and-so came to fix the roof.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- KNOCK AT DOOR - I'll get it.
0:15:53 > 0:15:54Hello?
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Lisa.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Yes, John, it's me.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02SHE SIGHS Is Dennis in?
0:16:02 > 0:16:05- Who? - Your brother, Dennis.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Oh, yeah. Wait there.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23HE COUGHS
0:16:26 > 0:16:30He's out all day, but I'll tell you who's here, and that's me.
0:16:33 > 0:16:34Little accident?
0:16:37 > 0:16:39I thought we could hang around outside the chippy?
0:16:39 > 0:16:44Throw things in the canal? Whatever you want to do, babes.
0:16:44 > 0:16:45Oh, look - he's back.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47- You ready?- Sure. See you later.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55Raise your game, son.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01SEWING MACHINE WHIRS I've got something to show you.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03Really?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Do you like it?
0:17:09 > 0:17:12- I love it. - I've been working on it all night.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14I need to make a few adjustments.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Will you... put it on?
0:17:17 > 0:17:19- Put on the dress?- Yeah.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22Oh. Unless, of course, you really don't want to?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25No, no! I mean, if it helps you out...
0:17:30 > 0:17:33"COME FLY WITH ME" ECHOES FAINTLY
0:17:38 > 0:17:39HE LAUGHS
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Why are you laughing?
0:17:45 > 0:17:49You look incredible.
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- How does it fit?- Perfectly!
0:17:52 > 0:17:55So, who did you make it for?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- You!- What?!
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Oh, I'm not stupid. I can tell you really wanted to wear one.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05And you could totally pass for a girl,
0:18:05 > 0:18:07with a few extra little touches.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10- Do you really think so? - You could go out in that.
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Where?
0:18:11 > 0:18:15- I dunno. Down the street? Into town? - How about Raj's shop!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18You would get away with it, I swear.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Yeah, but...
0:18:21 > 0:18:24..we aren't actually going to do it, are we?
0:18:31 > 0:18:32I'm scared.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35Just be confident. The world is your catwalk.
0:18:36 > 0:18:39This isn't a good idea. Raj knows me.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42He knows Dennis. He's never met Denise.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46- Who's Denise? - SHE SIGHS
0:18:46 > 0:18:48SHOP BELL JINGLES
0:18:50 > 0:18:54Aha, Lisa, my favourite customer!
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Who is your new friend?
0:18:56 > 0:19:00This is my French exchange... person. Girl. Student.
0:19:02 > 0:19:04- HIGH VOICE:- Bonjour.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Je am... Denise.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10Wilkommen! My shop is famous around the world.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Surely you've heard of it?
0:19:13 > 0:19:15Non, Monsieur Raj.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18You know my name! You must have!
0:19:18 > 0:19:23How about commemorative postcards to send to your family back in France?
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- They're blank.- Yes, I know.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29You can draw British landmarks on them with...
0:19:29 > 0:19:33this set of colouring pens, priced just £4.99.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34We'll just take this magazine.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36RAJ CHUCKLES
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Now, Denise, before you leave,
0:19:39 > 0:19:43you must try our traditional British delicacies.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45These Twixs came in fresh this morning.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Non, merci.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Le Munch De Monster, s'il vous plait.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Excellent choice, senorita.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58- Bye, Raj. NORMAL VOICE:- Bye.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- HIGH VOICE:- Au revoir.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Ciao!
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Peter. Perfect Peter.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Peter the poppet.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper.
0:20:10 > 0:20:11Wh-what exactly do you want?
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Yeah, is Dennis ready for the semis?
0:20:14 > 0:20:16- Well, he's...- Do you know, Peter,
0:20:16 > 0:20:21every time I pop by and accidently peep through your windows,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24I can't help thinking that this house could do with a woman's touch.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- He's...- So I've bought you some scatter cushions.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30And a couple of photo frames.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34And oh, look - who's this?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40He's out. With that Lisa James girl from school.
0:20:40 > 0:20:43I will find him. Stay strong.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47SHE MEOWS
0:20:57 > 0:21:01- That was hilarious! - I know! So, when do we do it again?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03How about never?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06- What about the shopping centre? Tons of people there.- No!
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Lisa, where's Dennis?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10The semifinals!
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Er, Dennis?
0:21:12 > 0:21:15He said to tell you, if I saw you,
0:21:15 > 0:21:18like, um, I'm seeing you now,
0:21:18 > 0:21:20to say that he...
0:21:20 > 0:21:23will be home in five minutes.
0:21:26 > 0:21:28Well, come on!
0:21:34 > 0:21:35How can anyone run in these?
0:22:10 > 0:22:11All right, speedy!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Where were you?
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Doing weights.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Are you a fan of the rap music, Dennis?
0:22:28 > 0:22:29Just say no.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35MUSIC: Holiday by Dizzee Rascal
0:22:35 > 0:22:38SHE RAPS ALONG
0:22:38 > 0:22:39..come and see me.
0:22:40 > 0:22:41..see me.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44..so easily. Ooh...
0:22:44 > 0:22:45Please, don't do that.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Eh eh eh-eh!
0:22:55 > 0:22:57Look at him!
0:22:57 > 0:22:58Oh, go back to Hogwarts.
0:23:01 > 0:23:04Darv, is it weird wearing a patka on your head?
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Nah, it's just a Sikh thing.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Yeah, I know, but you're the only boy at school who wears one.
0:23:09 > 0:23:10It's no big deal.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13And it would be boring if we were all the same, wouldn't it?
0:23:16 > 0:23:19So, you're playing St Kenneth's.
0:23:19 > 0:23:23Private school, state-of-the-art sports facilities,
0:23:23 > 0:23:26and, let's face it, a better gene pool.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Now, on paper, things don't look very good...
0:23:31 > 0:23:34..and, looking at you now, it's a lot worse.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38You're always out of breath, you've got chubby legs,
0:23:38 > 0:23:41and most of you are still waiting for your growth spurt.
0:23:41 > 0:23:44Sorry, son, it's been and gone.
0:23:44 > 0:23:47Right, come on. Put your hands in the middle.
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Now lift them up.
0:23:53 > 0:23:54- ALL:- Whoosh.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58That's supposed to help. I've got no idea how.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Come on, then.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Whoo! Come on, football! Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:24:12 > 0:24:16- It's tails.- Yes! Won the toss.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Once again, the captain leads from the front.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21Gareth, we were all talking about penalties...
0:24:21 > 0:24:24I'm the captain, I'm taking them.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Change ends!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27WHISTLE BLOWS
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Dennis.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56To me.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Good luck.
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Come on, Gareth!
0:25:22 > 0:25:23WHISTLE BLOWS
0:25:26 > 0:25:27CHEERING
0:25:27 > 0:25:29WHISTLE BLOWS
0:25:29 > 0:25:30Bad luck!
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Strike it!
0:25:46 > 0:25:47Yes!
0:25:52 > 0:25:53What's happened?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55We won.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57- Really?- Yes.
0:25:58 > 0:25:59Pretty good.
0:26:02 > 0:26:04You should stick to quidditch.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Dad! We won!
0:26:14 > 0:26:16That's great. Well done.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22So you didn't get a chance to put up the tree?
0:26:23 > 0:26:24Oh. Sorry, son.
0:26:25 > 0:26:29We're not doing Christmas this year. I just can't face it.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33Dad, sometimes I think you choose to be miserable.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35- Dennis!- He does!
0:26:35 > 0:26:38It's like you made a rule - you can never forget about Mum.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39Well, it's not that easy.
0:26:39 > 0:26:42- You have to break the rules sometimes.- You can talk!
0:26:42 > 0:26:45- What?- He's got a picture of Mum under his mattress.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58Bring it here now.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32I thought I said no reminders of your mum in this house.
0:27:32 > 0:27:34- But, Dad...- This is going in the bin where it belongs.
0:27:34 > 0:27:36It's my only one.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40I don't care.
0:27:46 > 0:27:47I'm going out!
0:28:02 > 0:28:03KNOCK ON DOOR
0:28:06 > 0:28:08Dennis?
0:28:08 > 0:28:11- Are you OK?- I want to wear the dress again.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13What? Go back to Raj's?
0:28:13 > 0:28:18No. I want to do something much bigger. Something crazy.
0:28:18 > 0:28:20How crazy?
0:28:20 > 0:28:22Really crazy.
0:28:23 > 0:28:26MUSIC: Crazy In Love by Beyonce feat. Jay-Z
0:28:51 > 0:28:52Who's this?
0:28:52 > 0:28:55My French exchange student.
0:28:57 > 0:28:58Bonjour.
0:28:58 > 0:29:00Je m'appelle...
0:29:00 > 0:29:02Denise.
0:29:02 > 0:29:03She's from Paris.
0:29:04 > 0:29:07I thought all the exchanges were from Marseille.
0:29:07 > 0:29:11She's from Rue de Paris in Marseille.
0:29:11 > 0:29:17Even if she is, nobody enters this school, of which I am the secretary,
0:29:17 > 0:29:19without written permission.
0:29:19 > 0:29:22Oh, I cleared it with the Head.
0:29:22 > 0:29:24Then let's go to the office and check.
0:29:24 > 0:29:26Now.
0:29:27 > 0:29:30Sure. No problem.
0:29:30 > 0:29:34I mean, it will look like you're questioning his authority,
0:29:34 > 0:29:35but you know best.
0:29:35 > 0:29:39Lisa James, you can talk to me until you're blue in the face,
0:29:39 > 0:29:41but none of that is going to change the fact that I've
0:29:41 > 0:29:45just decided it's all fine.
0:29:45 > 0:29:47Off to your lessons.
0:29:51 > 0:29:52How long are you staying?
0:29:52 > 0:29:54Cool bangle. Is it from France?
0:29:54 > 0:29:57Is it hard having to speak French all day?
0:29:57 > 0:29:59Non.
0:29:59 > 0:30:00Sit down, shut up.
0:30:05 > 0:30:06You're new.
0:30:06 > 0:30:08She's from France.
0:30:08 > 0:30:10Oh, bonjour.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14No, that's all I've got.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16I'm Mr Norris.
0:30:16 > 0:30:18I teach PE,
0:30:18 > 0:30:21but they also make me take history.
0:30:21 > 0:30:23You know much history?
0:30:23 > 0:30:24No.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Good. Then you'll fit right in.
0:30:26 > 0:30:30Start of the First World War. 1914.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33The Prime Minister
0:30:33 > 0:30:35was Winston Churchill.
0:30:41 > 0:30:43Gareth. Gareth Small.
0:30:43 > 0:30:45Captain of the football team.
0:30:45 > 0:30:46Bonjour, Gareth.
0:30:46 > 0:30:49Je too enjoy le football.
0:30:49 > 0:30:52So, do you score all the goals?
0:30:52 > 0:30:55I can't lie, babes. Yes, I do.
0:30:55 > 0:30:56Yeah, he does. What of it?
0:30:56 > 0:30:59Because I heard it is a boy called...
0:31:00 > 0:31:02..Dennis.
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Don't know who told you that.
0:31:04 > 0:31:05Yeah, who told you that?
0:31:05 > 0:31:07Everyone says it.
0:31:07 > 0:31:11Yes, they say you are the one who miss all the penalties.
0:31:11 > 0:31:16No, no, babes, I'm the star player. You must come and watch a game.
0:31:16 > 0:31:18Don't come and watch a game.
0:31:18 > 0:31:20Come on, Gareth!
0:31:25 > 0:31:26Hey, Denise!
0:31:28 > 0:31:30- Denise!- Hey, Denise!
0:31:32 > 0:31:35- This is just the best.- I know.
0:31:44 > 0:31:46- Dennis?- Sh!
0:31:46 > 0:31:49- What on earth are you doing?- I'm just being someone else for the day.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51- Are you nuts?- It's fun.
0:31:51 > 0:31:53It's not going to be fun when everyone finds out.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55- You'll never live this down. - Only you've recognised me.
0:31:55 > 0:31:57So far! You've got to get changed.
0:31:57 > 0:32:00Relax! I've got it all under control.
0:32:06 > 0:32:07So, what's next?
0:32:09 > 0:32:10Double French.
0:32:10 > 0:32:12What? I'm getting out of here.
0:32:16 > 0:32:18Bonjour!
0:32:18 > 0:32:20- ALL:- Bonjour, Madame.
0:32:20 > 0:32:24- -oiselle.- -oiselle Windsor.
0:32:24 > 0:32:26Asseyez-vous.
0:32:30 > 0:32:31Et vous, qui etes-vous?
0:32:34 > 0:32:36Who are you?
0:32:36 > 0:32:41This is Denise, she's my German pen pal, Ms.
0:32:41 > 0:32:44I thought you said she was from France.
0:32:45 > 0:32:48Good point. Thank you.
0:32:49 > 0:32:51French pen pal.
0:32:53 > 0:32:55Ah, soyez la bienvenue!
0:32:57 > 0:32:59Quel grand plaisir
0:32:59 > 0:33:03de vous accueillir parmi nous dans notre humble classe!
0:33:03 > 0:33:06C'est tout simplement merveilleux!
0:33:06 > 0:33:09J'ai tellement de questions a vous poser.
0:33:09 > 0:33:11De qu'elle region de France venez-vous?
0:33:11 > 0:33:13Comment sont les ecoles dans votre region?
0:33:13 > 0:33:17Quel est votre passe temps favori? Que font vos parents?
0:33:17 > 0:33:20Faites nous part de vos premieres passion de l'Angleterre?
0:33:24 > 0:33:28May I speak in English for one moment?
0:33:28 > 0:33:30Yes, of course.
0:33:31 > 0:33:35How can I put this, how you say, politely?
0:33:35 > 0:33:37Poliment! Poliment!
0:33:39 > 0:33:42- Madame Windsor.- -oiselle.
0:33:42 > 0:33:46I am very sorry, but I am not understanding
0:33:46 > 0:33:47anything you are saying...
0:33:48 > 0:33:51..because of your very poor French accent.
0:33:51 > 0:33:52LAUGHTER
0:34:04 > 0:34:06Do you need a tissue?
0:34:06 > 0:34:09I'll be fine. I've just got something in my eye.
0:34:09 > 0:34:12I'll step outside for a minute. My eye. L'oreille!
0:34:16 > 0:34:18SHE WEEPS HYSTERICALLY
0:34:21 > 0:34:22BELL RINGS
0:34:23 > 0:34:25What was all that about?
0:34:25 > 0:34:28Ms Windsor's one of the nice ones and you totally humiliated her.
0:34:28 > 0:34:30You could have told me you had double French today.
0:34:30 > 0:34:32I forgot. Sorry.
0:34:32 > 0:34:34- There's nothing I can do now. - Look out!
0:34:34 > 0:34:35I don't know where he is.
0:34:35 > 0:34:37He left the house this morning before me.
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Bunking off, I presume.
0:34:39 > 0:34:41That's not like Dennis. I'm worried about him.
0:34:41 > 0:34:44I shall have to call your father.
0:34:44 > 0:34:46Just let me have a quick look round first?
0:34:58 > 0:35:00What do you think you're doing?
0:35:00 > 0:35:02Coming over here, stealing our boyfriends?
0:35:02 > 0:35:04I am not liking le Gareth in that way.
0:35:05 > 0:35:07Girls fight over me all the time.
0:35:07 > 0:35:09- ALL:- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
0:35:16 > 0:35:19CROWD GASPS
0:35:19 > 0:35:22Oh, my days.
0:35:22 > 0:35:23Dennis?
0:35:33 > 0:35:34Silence!
0:35:45 > 0:35:47You.
0:35:47 > 0:35:49- The boy in the dress.- Sir, it's not his fault, I...
0:35:49 > 0:35:51I said, silence.
0:36:03 > 0:36:05Would you care to explain yourself, boy?
0:36:08 > 0:36:11Why did you come to school today dressed in a...
0:36:13 > 0:36:15..dress?
0:36:16 > 0:36:17Don't know, sir.
0:36:18 > 0:36:19"Don't know, sir."
0:36:22 > 0:36:23You are expelled!
0:36:23 > 0:36:24GASPS
0:36:24 > 0:36:27- But, sir...- There are no buts, boy!
0:36:27 > 0:36:29But, Mr Hawthorn, you didn't expel Karl Bates
0:36:29 > 0:36:31and he ate the school goldfish.
0:36:31 > 0:36:34You are on a final warning, Lisa James.
0:36:35 > 0:36:39Please, sir, I don't want to let my friends down.
0:36:40 > 0:36:42It's the cup final on Saturday.
0:36:42 > 0:36:46But, Dennis Simms, you will not play on Saturday
0:36:46 > 0:36:47or any other day.
0:36:49 > 0:36:51You are no longer a pupil at this school.
0:36:53 > 0:36:55Leave the premises at once.
0:37:17 > 0:37:18Expelled?
0:37:20 > 0:37:21For wearing a dress?
0:37:22 > 0:37:24And a wig.
0:37:25 > 0:37:27Oh, and some earrings.
0:37:31 > 0:37:34I'll never wear a dress, so you've only half failed.
0:37:37 > 0:37:39Why?
0:37:39 > 0:37:41I just want to know why.
0:37:43 > 0:37:45I guess...
0:37:45 > 0:37:47..it made me happy.
0:37:51 > 0:37:54Go to your room and do your homework.
0:37:54 > 0:37:57I've been expelled. I haven't got any homework.
0:37:57 > 0:37:59Then just go to your room.
0:38:02 > 0:38:04You can check my cupboard, if you like.
0:38:04 > 0:38:06Just jeans and hoodies and...
0:38:11 > 0:38:14KNOCK ON DOOR
0:38:16 > 0:38:18He can't talk to you now, Darvesh.
0:38:18 > 0:38:21Please, can you tell Dennis he's still my friend?
0:38:21 > 0:38:22Your son always stuck up for me
0:38:22 > 0:38:25and it's very important he knows that, whatever's happened,
0:38:25 > 0:38:26he'll always be my friend.
0:38:32 > 0:38:33PHONE BUZZES
0:39:06 > 0:39:09Right, you're getting home-schooled from now on.
0:39:09 > 0:39:11- But it's Saturday.- I don't care.
0:39:11 > 0:39:13I've circled Deal Or No Deal. That's your maths.
0:39:13 > 0:39:15Pointless, general knowledge.
0:39:15 > 0:39:18Antiques Roadshow, history, and I want them all watched
0:39:18 > 0:39:20by the time I get back from the depot, thank you.
0:39:23 > 0:39:25TV ON QUIETLY
0:39:28 > 0:39:29Oh, no.
0:39:29 > 0:39:32Peter!
0:39:32 > 0:39:34Can we please talk about Dennis?
0:39:34 > 0:39:36You've got between here and the lorry.
0:39:36 > 0:39:39Dennis is... He's such a special boy.
0:39:39 > 0:39:41I do hope you're not being too hard on him.
0:39:41 > 0:39:43What if it was your son who went to school in a dress?
0:39:43 > 0:39:47Oh, I don't think Darvesh would go to school in a dress.
0:39:47 > 0:39:49He'd probably wear a salwar kameez.
0:39:49 > 0:39:51Yeah, all right, a salwar kameez!
0:39:51 > 0:39:54Well, you know, I'd...
0:39:54 > 0:39:56Well, I'd...
0:39:56 > 0:39:58See! You wouldn't like it either.
0:39:58 > 0:40:00Peter, please, listen!
0:40:00 > 0:40:02No, you listen to me for once!
0:40:02 > 0:40:05All right, these are my boys and I'll bring them up my way.
0:40:05 > 0:40:08And I don't need your stupid scatter cushions
0:40:08 > 0:40:10and I certainly don't need your advice.
0:40:10 > 0:40:12But you love your son whatever he does.
0:40:15 > 0:40:16Don't you?
0:40:36 > 0:40:39- ANNOUNCER:- The Under-16s School Cup Final will kick off in 15 minutes.
0:40:39 > 0:40:4115 minutes to kick off.
0:40:42 > 0:40:46If they're under 16, then I'm Angelina blooming Jolie.
0:40:58 > 0:41:00Mr Hawthorn, I need to talk to you about Dennis.
0:41:00 > 0:41:02Lisa James, I am not interested in your pleading.
0:41:02 > 0:41:06- But, sir...- One more word and I will expel you too.
0:41:09 > 0:41:13So, here we are. Cup Final day.
0:41:13 > 0:41:15- ALL:- Yes!
0:41:15 > 0:41:20All right. I want you all to remember what got you here.
0:41:21 > 0:41:24Luck
0:41:24 > 0:41:26and a lad in a frock who got kicked out.
0:41:26 > 0:41:32Now, the other lot, they've won the Cup the last three years
0:41:32 > 0:41:35and I'm going to be honest -
0:41:35 > 0:41:37they play dirty.
0:41:38 > 0:41:42They'll hack you down, they'll elbow you in the face.
0:41:45 > 0:41:48I'm just glad it's you and not me out there.
0:41:48 > 0:41:50But remember one thing -
0:41:50 > 0:41:54win or lose, you made it to a cup final,
0:41:54 > 0:41:57which looks great on my CV.
0:41:57 > 0:41:58Now get out there.
0:41:58 > 0:42:01'With their main weapons knocked out of commission,
0:42:01 > 0:42:04'the platoon now faced a far superior enemy force.
0:42:04 > 0:42:07'The odds seemed insurmountable.'
0:42:20 > 0:42:22Hiya, gang!
0:42:22 > 0:42:24Got some bad news for you.
0:42:24 > 0:42:27The referee has sprained his ankle.
0:42:27 > 0:42:29Now, the stand-in referee's cat's died
0:42:29 > 0:42:31and he's very upset. Sad face.
0:42:31 > 0:42:36But the good news is you've got me! Yay! Happy face!
0:42:36 > 0:42:39Now, I don't know if you know me. I actually teach drama.
0:42:39 > 0:42:42To be honest with you, I don't know a huge amount about football,
0:42:42 > 0:42:46but I've seen a couple of games on TV and how hard can it be?
0:42:46 > 0:42:50Right. Heads or tails?
0:42:50 > 0:42:52Heads.
0:42:52 > 0:42:54Oh, heads it is!
0:42:54 > 0:42:57Elm Forest to serve!
0:42:57 > 0:43:00Oh, exciting!
0:43:00 > 0:43:02Come on!
0:43:15 > 0:43:16GROANS
0:43:18 > 0:43:20HE SIGHS
0:43:26 > 0:43:28We've got no chance without Dennis.
0:43:28 > 0:43:30Shut up. We don't need him.
0:43:32 > 0:43:35'With no protection offered by the inexperienced commander,
0:43:35 > 0:43:39'the platoon was quickly crushed by the superior firepower
0:43:39 > 0:43:41'of a German Panzer division.'
0:43:50 > 0:43:52Red card!
0:43:52 > 0:43:55Now, that wasn't nice, was it?
0:43:55 > 0:43:57Say sorry.
0:43:57 > 0:43:58Sorry.
0:43:58 > 0:44:02Good boy. Now, deep breath.
0:44:02 > 0:44:04Let out the anger.
0:44:06 > 0:44:07Oh.
0:44:30 > 0:44:35It's a massacre. You're the captain, do something.
0:44:35 > 0:44:36You're right.
0:44:40 > 0:44:42You boys are bringing shame on us all.
0:44:42 > 0:44:43We need Dennis.
0:44:43 > 0:44:47Get back out there and play, Gareth Small.
0:44:51 > 0:44:55'Without reinforcements, defeat was imminent.'
0:44:58 > 0:44:59WHISTLE BLOWS
0:45:01 > 0:45:04And that's the game. Well done, gang.
0:45:04 > 0:45:07It's half-time!
0:45:07 > 0:45:09Sorry. My mistake. Interval!
0:45:09 > 0:45:11The score is four points to nil.
0:45:11 > 0:45:13'The troops were on the verge of surrender,
0:45:13 > 0:45:15'but, at the last minute, a message arrived.'
0:45:15 > 0:45:17PHONE BUZZES
0:45:36 > 0:45:38HE SIGHS
0:45:39 > 0:45:41Going to miss the Bake Off at this rate.
0:45:45 > 0:45:47WIND WHISTLES
0:46:00 > 0:46:02MUSIC: I Want To Break Free by Queen
0:46:02 > 0:46:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:46:09 > 0:46:11Oh!
0:46:11 > 0:46:13Darvesh, you look gorgeous!
0:46:21 > 0:46:24# I want to break free... #
0:46:24 > 0:46:27Dennis! Come on, Dennis!
0:46:31 > 0:46:34Go get them, girls.
0:46:34 > 0:46:37Small! Get over here!
0:46:41 > 0:46:44What on earth do you think you're doing, boy?
0:46:44 > 0:46:46Sir, you expelled Dennis for wearing a dress,
0:46:46 > 0:46:48but you can't expel us all.
0:46:52 > 0:46:54# I've fallen in love
0:46:56 > 0:46:59# I've fallen in love for the first time
0:46:59 > 0:47:04# And this time I know it's for real
0:47:05 > 0:47:07# I've fallen in love
0:47:07 > 0:47:09Yeah
0:47:09 > 0:47:12# God knows
0:47:13 > 0:47:16# God knows I've fallen in love... #
0:47:22 > 0:47:23Are they wearing dresses?
0:47:24 > 0:47:28# I can't get over the way you love me like you do
0:47:28 > 0:47:30# But I've got to be sure... #
0:47:30 > 0:47:31Look after these.
0:47:31 > 0:47:32# When I walk out that door
0:47:32 > 0:47:37# Oh, how I want to be free, baby
0:47:38 > 0:47:41# Oh, how I want to be free
0:47:41 > 0:47:46# Oh, how I want to break free... #
0:48:16 > 0:48:19Peter! Peter!
0:48:19 > 0:48:23- Oh!- Jaspreet.- Oh, Peter!
0:48:23 > 0:48:25THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER
0:48:26 > 0:48:28I have been thinking about what you said.
0:48:28 > 0:48:30You have to come with me.
0:48:30 > 0:48:34- What? Now?- Yes. Now! Something wonderful's happened.
0:48:34 > 0:48:36Come on, John!
0:48:45 > 0:48:46Oh, here we go again.
0:48:48 > 0:48:52Peter, just look at your beautiful son.
0:48:52 > 0:48:54Look at what he can do.
0:48:57 > 0:49:00# But life still goes on... #
0:49:02 > 0:49:03Go on!
0:49:03 > 0:49:07# I can't get used to living without, living without, living without you
0:49:07 > 0:49:10# By my side
0:49:11 > 0:49:14# I don't want to live alone... #
0:49:14 > 0:49:154-4.
0:49:15 > 0:49:16Oh, the drama!
0:49:16 > 0:49:18# God knows
0:49:18 > 0:49:22# Got to make it on my own
0:49:24 > 0:49:27# So, baby, can't you see?
0:49:29 > 0:49:32# I've got to break free. #
0:49:32 > 0:49:34Come on, Dennis. Score one for me!
0:49:34 > 0:49:35THUD
0:49:35 > 0:49:36CROWD GROANS
0:49:36 > 0:49:38- Penalty!- Penalty.
0:49:43 > 0:49:48- VOICES ECHO:- Come on, Dennis.- Come on, you can do it.- Come on, Dennis.
0:49:50 > 0:49:53- Hey.- Dad, you came!
0:49:57 > 0:49:59Go get 'em, son.
0:50:00 > 0:50:01WHISTLE BLOWS
0:50:03 > 0:50:05Good luck, Gareth.
0:50:05 > 0:50:08It's yours, mate, if you're up to it.
0:50:51 > 0:50:54CHEERING
0:50:54 > 0:50:57# I want to break free... #
0:50:58 > 0:51:00WHISTLE BLOWS
0:51:00 > 0:51:02Oh, my word, it's Elm Forest!
0:51:15 > 0:51:17Did we win?
0:51:17 > 0:51:19We won?!
0:51:19 > 0:51:23Yes! Yes! I knew it!
0:51:23 > 0:51:26I knew you could do it! Yeah!
0:51:30 > 0:51:32Somebody should sign that lad.
0:51:40 > 0:51:42This is my son.
0:51:44 > 0:51:46This is my boy.
0:51:46 > 0:51:50That's my brother, that is.
0:51:50 > 0:51:52And I love him...
0:51:54 > 0:51:56..more than I can ever say.
0:51:59 > 0:52:01How did you get to be so good, son?
0:52:01 > 0:52:04How did you get so ruddy good?
0:52:07 > 0:52:08How beautiful.
0:52:10 > 0:52:14Not you, boy. You're not an Elm Forest pupil.
0:52:14 > 0:52:15But I thought...
0:52:15 > 0:52:19Well, you thought wrong. Now get off the pitch this instant.
0:52:19 > 0:52:23Hey, you wouldn't have that cup if it wasn't for my Dennis.
0:52:25 > 0:52:29Your son came to school wearing a dress.
0:52:39 > 0:52:41I couldn't be prouder of him.
0:52:42 > 0:52:44We all are.
0:52:45 > 0:52:48Come on, love, let's go home.
0:53:11 > 0:53:13Have you found a new school yet?
0:53:13 > 0:53:17Not yet. I'm going to miss you.
0:53:17 > 0:53:19I'm going to miss you too.
0:53:21 > 0:53:25Come on, the new Vogue's out today. I'll buy you one as a present.
0:53:28 > 0:53:31Aha, my favourite customers!
0:53:31 > 0:53:34A very merry Christmas to you both.
0:53:34 > 0:53:36- BOTH:- Merry Christmas, Raj.
0:53:36 > 0:53:41Dennis, I am so sorry to hear about your expulsion.
0:53:41 > 0:53:45- Thanks.- What is so wrong with wearing a dress, huh?
0:53:45 > 0:53:47I often like to dress entirely in red Lycra
0:53:47 > 0:53:49and pretend I am on Strictly!
0:53:49 > 0:53:53HE SINGS THEME TUNE
0:53:53 > 0:53:56It's no biggie!
0:53:56 > 0:53:59Now, if only there was a way to reason with your headmaster.
0:53:59 > 0:54:04- I've tried everything. - Hmm. You could talk to his sister.
0:54:04 > 0:54:06- His sister?- Yes.
0:54:06 > 0:54:11She comes here first thing every Sunday morning to buy her newspaper.
0:54:11 > 0:54:14You could ask her to speak to him.
0:54:14 > 0:54:16I guess it's worth a try.
0:54:16 > 0:54:21Now, would you like to buy some of my special ice cream soup?
0:54:21 > 0:54:23What's ice cream soup?
0:54:23 > 0:54:27Something I invented while waiting for the freezer repair man to come.
0:54:27 > 0:54:30It also has oven chips and fish fingers in it.
0:54:36 > 0:54:38RAJ MUTTERS TO HIMSELF
0:54:46 > 0:54:50This is silly. Who needs to go to the shops this early?
0:54:58 > 0:54:59Think that's her?
0:54:59 > 0:55:03She could be his sister. She's very tall.
0:55:03 > 0:55:06And she's got enormous feet.
0:55:09 > 0:55:10You don't think?
0:55:12 > 0:55:14Mr Hawthorn!
0:55:16 > 0:55:17Do you mean my brother?
0:55:17 > 0:55:21Erm, he's at home dining on toast and eggs this fine morning.
0:55:22 > 0:55:24It is you!
0:55:24 > 0:55:27Children, my name is Harriet Hawthorn!
0:55:27 > 0:55:29- Pleased to make your acquaintance. - We know it's you.
0:55:32 > 0:55:35Oh, all right. I'm Mr Hawthorn. What of it?
0:55:35 > 0:55:37You're in... You're in a dress.
0:55:37 > 0:55:41How dare you?! This is a blouse and skirt ensemble.
0:55:41 > 0:55:43All right, a blouse and skirt!
0:55:43 > 0:55:47Listen, being a headmaster is an extremely stressful job.
0:55:47 > 0:55:49If I want to relax in my time off
0:55:49 > 0:55:52wearing clothes I find... comfortable,
0:55:52 > 0:55:53well, that's my business.
0:55:53 > 0:55:56I was comfortable in a dress until you expelled me.
0:55:56 > 0:55:59But you were breaking a school rule. It's completely different.
0:55:59 > 0:56:03Oh, yeah, I bet all the kids at school will see it the same way,
0:56:03 > 0:56:05when we tell them.
0:56:07 > 0:56:09- Are you trying to blackmail me?- No.
0:56:09 > 0:56:14- Er, yes.- Sorry, yes.
0:56:14 > 0:56:16What do you want?
0:56:29 > 0:56:33Dennis Simms. What do you think you're doing here?
0:56:33 > 0:56:37Look at this. It's a monstrosity.
0:56:37 > 0:56:41It's still school uniform. I just gave it a little reedit.
0:56:41 > 0:56:45In all my years, I've never seen anything quite...
0:56:45 > 0:56:49So very creative. Please.
0:56:57 > 0:56:58What?
0:57:03 > 0:57:07That's a very pretty frock you're wearing today, Miss Price.
0:57:07 > 0:57:10Oh, thank you.
0:57:13 > 0:57:16It's, er, just from the shop on the high street.
0:57:19 > 0:57:24Do they stock it for the...
0:57:24 > 0:57:27larger lady?
0:57:34 > 0:57:37- You're back?- Yeah. - What about Hawthorn?
0:57:37 > 0:57:41He, erm, came round to my way of thinking.
0:57:41 > 0:57:44I'll see you later.
0:57:44 > 0:57:46Oh, right, good luck.
0:57:47 > 0:57:50- Miss? - Oh. Oh, you're back.
0:57:50 > 0:57:53I'm sorry I said you had a bad French accent.
0:57:53 > 0:57:56You've actually got the best French accent out there,
0:57:56 > 0:57:58and that includes all the ones in France.
0:57:58 > 0:58:02Oh, do you really think so? Merci beaucoup, Dennis.
0:58:02 > 0:58:05I must say, you pulled off that dress rather well.
0:58:05 > 0:58:08- Tres a la mode.- Thanks, Miss.
0:58:08 > 0:58:11I've, er, I've written a play for the spring term
0:58:11 > 0:58:14and there's a perfect part for you in it.
0:58:14 > 0:58:15It's called Joan of Arc.
0:58:15 > 0:58:17Can you guess who I want you to play?
0:58:17 > 0:58:20- Joan?- Correctement! Yes!
0:58:20 > 0:58:23You see, she was a girl that wore boys' clothes.
0:58:23 > 0:58:27So you would be a boy dressed as a girl dressed as a boy.
0:58:27 > 0:58:30- That would really make people think, wouldn't it?- I suppose.
0:58:30 > 0:58:35Tres bien. It's all in French, by the way.
0:58:46 > 0:58:48Hey.
0:58:50 > 0:58:52This is yours.
0:58:55 > 0:58:58I'm sorry.
0:58:58 > 0:59:00I miss her too.
0:59:06 > 0:59:09- John, you're not going to eat all that, yeah?- Why not?
0:59:09 > 0:59:12Well, because we've got guests coming for our little
0:59:12 > 0:59:17- Christmas party.- Who?- Just some friends and, er, a lady friend.
0:59:17 > 0:59:21KNOCK AT DOOR
0:59:23 > 0:59:26Happy Christmas!
0:59:26 > 0:59:28Happy Christmas to you, too.
0:59:31 > 0:59:33Aren't you going to ask us in, then?
0:59:33 > 0:59:37Oh, of course, come in, come in, come on. Through there.
0:59:37 > 0:59:39- All right, Darvesh.- All right?
0:59:39 > 0:59:43Peter! You bad, bad boy!
0:59:43 > 0:59:44Eh?
0:59:45 > 0:59:48- ALL: Eurgh!- Come on!
0:59:52 > 0:59:55- Wow!- Perfect, Peter. - Yeah, don't start that.
0:59:55 > 0:59:58Peter, OK, I'm starving. Got any mince pies?
0:59:58 > 0:59:59Put that down!
1:00:11 > 1:00:13I'm Dennis.
1:00:13 > 1:00:17I live in an ordinary house, in an ordinary street
1:00:17 > 1:00:19in an ordinary town.
1:00:20 > 1:00:24I feel different. But, then, doesn't everyone?
1:00:27 > 1:00:29Merry Christmas!