Football

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0:00:05 > 0:00:08# Where'd you go when you know nobody can understand you?

0:00:08 > 0:00:11# When it's just too much to handle

0:00:11 > 0:00:15# What'd you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# You should stay, it can change

0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days

0:00:22 > 0:00:25# But one day down the line, this time it's sure to stop

0:00:25 > 0:00:27# So the only time is now, 4 o'clock. #

0:00:28 > 0:00:30Yeah, I got it.

0:00:30 > 0:00:32Mm.

0:00:33 > 0:00:34Josh?

0:00:34 > 0:00:37Oh, er... Hi, Mum. I told Nathan he needs to cook a nice tea.

0:00:37 > 0:00:39MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:00:39 > 0:00:43- Yeah, he's here now. I just told him.- That mum, is it?

0:00:43 > 0:00:45So, er...

0:00:45 > 0:00:47Who's this the phone to me now?

0:00:47 > 0:00:49JOSH SIGHS

0:00:49 > 0:00:52OK. Sorry, Ryan. I've got to go

0:00:52 > 0:00:55No, no, no, I understand.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57You're on lates, yeah?

0:00:57 > 0:00:59Me and Josh'll be doing the cooking all week.

0:00:59 > 0:01:01Yeah.

0:01:01 > 0:01:03All right, see you tomorrow.

0:01:03 > 0:01:07All right, yeah. Great idea, we both cook tea(!)

0:01:07 > 0:01:09How about tonight you do it and I'll do it tomorrow?

0:01:09 > 0:01:13- Why am I going to do that? - You'll have the whole night off,

0:01:13 > 0:01:15- I'll do everything. - The whole night off?

0:01:15 > 0:01:16Swear down.

0:01:21 > 0:01:24All right. Deal

0:01:24 > 0:01:28- Chicken tikka masala OK? - Sweet!

0:01:29 > 0:01:31SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:01:33 > 0:01:37What are you like, Ash? I mean, football kit to geography?

0:01:37 > 0:01:40That's worse than the time Ryan wore his pyjamas to maths.

0:01:40 > 0:01:42Yeah, I only did that once

0:01:42 > 0:01:45and I thought we were doing our survival swimming

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Er, it's taken, Rat Features?

0:01:46 > 0:01:48My mistake.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55You look like a banana that's been eaten up by a canary.

0:01:55 > 0:01:57Yeah, yeah! Laugh it up, ladies!

0:01:57 > 0:02:00Seriously, Ash, you really are an idiot.

0:02:00 > 0:02:04All right, shut-up. Mr Alten's off today.

0:02:04 > 0:02:07Is it his, er... "problem" again, Sir?

0:02:07 > 0:02:09All right, that's enough!

0:02:09 > 0:02:14Now the good news is he's left you all a test to do, so pens out

0:02:14 > 0:02:16CLASS GROANS

0:02:16 > 0:02:17Oh, yes. The match, Ashley.

0:02:17 > 0:02:22Off you go. The rest of you, heads down.

0:02:22 > 0:02:23How did he manage that?

0:02:25 > 0:02:26See you, ladies!

0:02:28 > 0:02:32- Why do you want to join the football team?- Why wouldn't you want to join?

0:02:32 > 0:02:34Right, Ryan?

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Yeah!

0:02:36 > 0:02:40- We love the uniform! - (Not uniform, kit!)- Kit.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43- We could use a couple of reserves. - We'll do it!

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Are you sure?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48It does require a great deal of commitment.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50You'll have to miss the odd lesson.

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Well, if it's for the good of the team, sir...

0:02:54 > 0:02:56- We'll do it, Mr Thorne - OK.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00Well, I need your parents to sign these permission slips

0:03:00 > 0:03:03Welcome aboard, boys.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06We practice every day at four.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09- Sorry, sir. Did you say- EVERY- day?

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Awesome!

0:03:14 > 0:03:18Every day!? No way are my parents signing me up for that.

0:03:18 > 0:03:21It'll interfere with homework hour

0:03:21 > 0:03:24What are you doing?

0:03:24 > 0:03:27What did you do that for? I never said I wanted them to sign it!

0:03:27 > 0:03:30Listen to yourself, man. You need help

0:03:30 > 0:03:33Why've I got to do all this extra work, just cos I don't know it?

0:03:33 > 0:03:36- What is geography anyway? - I'll do it for you, for a tenner.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38What?! What you trying to say?

0:03:38 > 0:03:40I can't do it? You'll do better?

0:03:40 > 0:03:42- If that is was you're saying, then you are- ON!

0:03:42 > 0:03:44SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:03:47 > 0:03:49I mean, every day?

0:03:49 > 0:03:53What if we get hit with some big assignment this week?

0:03:53 > 0:03:58- How we supposed to fit it in around all this?- Will you shut up!

0:03:58 > 0:03:59Enjoying yourselves?

0:03:59 > 0:04:03- Yes, thank you, sir. - Doing what exactly?

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Football training.

0:04:06 > 0:04:08- THAT- is football training!

0:04:12 > 0:04:14Er, I don't think so.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16Yeah, I don't think this is really for us.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19We'll just be off, so thank you very much!

0:04:19 > 0:04:20HE BLOWS WHISTLE

0:04:20 > 0:04:22Your parents signed the forms, boys,

0:04:22 > 0:04:25I can't let you go without speaking to them first.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27Forgery.

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Prison!

0:04:30 > 0:04:34- There'll be no need for that, sir.- Good.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37Nobody likes a quitter.

0:04:37 > 0:04:40So come on, get in line!

0:04:40 > 0:04:41HE BLOWS WHISTLE

0:04:41 > 0:04:44Hnng!

0:04:44 > 0:04:49You said...this was going to be...awesome!

0:04:50 > 0:04:53What are you talking about?

0:04:53 > 0:04:55- This- IS- awesome!

0:04:55 > 0:04:5948, 49, 50...

0:05:06 > 0:05:07JOSH GROANS

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Oi, Ronaldo!

0:05:09 > 0:05:13Get your butt out of the chair and get in the kitchen! I'm hungry.

0:05:13 > 0:05:15Come on!

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Chop-chop!

0:05:20 > 0:05:23TELEVISION SWITCHES ON

0:05:23 > 0:05:26I think it's a good thing you joined the football team.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29You never know, if one of the good players get injured,

0:05:29 > 0:05:31you might even get a game!

0:05:34 > 0:05:35That was quick.

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Ah!

0:05:38 > 0:05:41Cook tea! That was the deal,

0:05:41 > 0:05:45cook tea! You can't just get an apple from the kitchen.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47JOSH GROANS

0:05:50 > 0:05:52Thank you.

0:05:54 > 0:05:56CLOCK TICKING

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Yes!

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Bon appetite.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15- HE RAPS: - # A sprig of parsley, classy

0:06:15 > 0:06:16# Should I be surprised? Hardly

0:06:16 > 0:06:18# Classic Josh, if you ask me

0:06:18 > 0:06:21# Can't sweep up without a rug to hide the dirt

0:06:21 > 0:06:23# Can't finish any job COS that's twice the work

0:06:23 > 0:06:26# That he planned for, always got a plan for weaselling out

0:06:26 > 0:06:28# He's on your team? You're a man short

0:06:28 > 0:06:31# You ever wondered why his rap name's only J?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33# It's cos he couldn't be bothered writing the O-S-H

0:06:33 > 0:06:36# Can't call him lazy, that's too soft

0:06:36 > 0:06:38# There's lazy, crazy lazy, then there's Josh

0:06:38 > 0:06:40# Wish I could find one thing he'd follow through with

0:06:40 > 0:06:43# Only thing he seems to complete are the excuses

0:06:43 > 0:06:45# Snip, snip, snip, snip

0:06:45 > 0:06:48# Shortcut time, yeah it's shortcut time

0:06:48 > 0:06:50# With a snip, snip, snip, snip

0:06:50 > 0:06:53# One of these days he'll be taught stuff right

0:06:53 > 0:06:55# My motto? If it can be done tomorrow, do it next week

0:06:55 > 0:06:58# I don't need nothing to stress me

0:06:58 > 0:07:00# Cos I seen what it can do to my brother

0:07:00 > 0:07:04# So I kick back, sing Hakuna Matata

0:07:04 > 0:07:06# You can't lock me up to do those chores

0:07:06 > 0:07:08# There's a whole world out through those doors

0:07:08 > 0:07:11# And if there's a quicker route to it, I'm on the track

0:07:11 > 0:07:13# Cut a corner, plus it's shorter and what's wrong with that?

0:07:13 > 0:07:16# I'm a player, meaning I prefer to play

0:07:16 > 0:07:18# I don't work, I pay you to do my homework

0:07:18 > 0:07:22# What, you want me to clean the whiteboard? Yes, certainly

0:07:22 > 0:07:24# Oh, gotta go sir, emergency!

0:07:24 > 0:07:25# Snip, snip, snip, snip

0:07:25 > 0:07:29# Shortcut time, yeah it's shortcut time

0:07:29 > 0:07:30# With a snip, snip, snip, snip

0:07:30 > 0:07:34# Responsibility, well it's yours not mine. #

0:07:34 > 0:07:36By the way, I need you to get me out of football.

0:07:36 > 0:07:40Right, yeah. That's you all over. Isn't it, Mr Quitter?

0:07:40 > 0:07:42I'm not quitting. Thorne won't let me.

0:07:42 > 0:07:45Well, I'm not helping you. Forget it, no way.

0:07:45 > 0:07:49You know, it's time you learnt if you sign up for something,

0:07:49 > 0:07:51you need to see it through to the end.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58RYAN GROANS

0:07:58 > 0:08:01I sound like my granddad getting out of the bath!

0:08:01 > 0:08:04I'm not even going to ask how you know what that sounds like.

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Ah!

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Ah, ah! Ow!

0:08:09 > 0:08:12What sort of idiots train like this for fun?

0:08:14 > 0:08:15Lads?

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Ow!

0:08:17 > 0:08:18Ah!

0:08:18 > 0:08:20THEY BOTH GROAN IN PAIN

0:08:20 > 0:08:22Settle down, settle down!

0:08:23 > 0:08:30Now for the last fortnight, we have been studying...Ash?

0:08:30 > 0:08:33Yes, yes we have.

0:08:33 > 0:08:35Romeo and Juliet.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38You know, sir. Where everyone speaks in them stupid poems

0:08:38 > 0:08:42- that don't rhyme. - Thanks, Agnes.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46You're very welcome, sir. You know, sometimes I forget stuff too.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48O...K.

0:08:48 > 0:08:52Let's pick up where we left off, shall we? Er...Ryan?

0:08:52 > 0:08:56But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

0:08:56 > 0:08:59It is the East, and Juliet is the sun

0:08:59 > 0:09:02Arise, fair sun.

0:09:02 > 0:09:06Could you maybe just soften it up a bit?

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- I'm not really feeling it - Shut up, Bog-breath!

0:09:09 > 0:09:13Molly, it might help if you looked a bit more...

0:09:13 > 0:09:16Well, if you looked a little bit less

0:09:16 > 0:09:18like you want to kill him.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21After all, Romeo and Juliet, of course the central theme is...

0:09:21 > 0:09:22Death.

0:09:22 > 0:09:24CLASS LAUGHS

0:09:24 > 0:09:26No, not death. Love.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Six people die in it. - Well, yeah. But...

0:09:29 > 0:09:31- Only two fall in love. - That might be the case...

0:09:31 > 0:09:34- And they die. - But they are in love

0:09:34 > 0:09:37They've prepared for any obstacle

0:09:37 > 0:09:40that might come their way, you know.

0:09:40 > 0:09:44They're committed to something and they'll see it through to the end.

0:09:44 > 0:09:47There's a lesson in that for all of us.

0:09:47 > 0:09:49SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:09:49 > 0:09:52Right, so what I want you to do

0:09:52 > 0:09:54is write an essay written as if

0:09:54 > 0:09:58you are Romeo or Juliet and you're on your first date.

0:09:58 > 0:10:02Right? So think first love, intensity of feelings

0:10:02 > 0:10:06I really want you to dig into your emotions in this one, yeah?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09By Friday, please.

0:10:09 > 0:10:12By Friday? With football practice, how am I supposed to do that?

0:10:12 > 0:10:15I'm dead, Josh. Dead! Never mind Romeo and Juliet,

0:10:15 > 0:10:19- this is my funeral! I'm finished, this is game over!- I'll do it.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22- What? - Your assignment?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24Romeo and Juliet's first date? I'll do it.

0:10:24 > 0:10:26- Why?- Why do you think?

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Because I'm nice and because I like you.

0:10:29 > 0:10:31- HIGH-PITCHED:- Really? Ahem... - NORMAL:- Really?

0:10:31 > 0:10:33No! What is wrong with you?

0:10:33 > 0:10:37I need a new MP3 player and 15 quid gets you the essay

0:10:37 > 0:10:39by Friday with my personal guarantee of an A.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43Erm, no thanks. I may already be going to prison for forgery

0:10:43 > 0:10:46so I don't need to be committing fraud as well.

0:10:47 > 0:10:51Yeah, Ryan knows all about dates, been kissed by loads of girls

0:10:51 > 0:10:57- haven't you, mate? Mum, sister, your gran.- Oh, yeah. A babe magnet

0:10:57 > 0:11:01like you should be able to do it in no time, so why are you sweating it?

0:11:10 > 0:11:13- Molly?- Yes, Ryan. What can I do for you?

0:11:15 > 0:11:1715 quid, right?

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Only, try and make it good, yeah?

0:11:20 > 0:11:24I've got quite a high grade average, and erm...

0:11:24 > 0:11:27you will spell check it, won't you?

0:11:27 > 0:11:29Like you know how to do spell check?

0:11:30 > 0:11:34Oh and another thing. Try and make it sound, you know,

0:11:34 > 0:11:36like he's met someone sweet.

0:11:36 > 0:11:42Like Juliet and not Lady Macbeth,

0:11:42 > 0:11:46with a headache. Anyway, I'm sure you got it covered. Bye.

0:11:51 > 0:11:53No offence.

0:11:56 > 0:12:02I said "no offence". You heard me, I definitely said "no offence".

0:12:04 > 0:12:07She couldn't have possibly taken offence.

0:12:08 > 0:12:12ALL: # Happy birthday, Mr Byron

0:12:12 > 0:12:16# Happy birthday to you. #

0:12:18 > 0:12:20CHEERING

0:12:20 > 0:12:22Make a wish!

0:12:26 > 0:12:28No, still here.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31RUMBLING

0:12:31 > 0:12:32Was that your...?

0:12:32 > 0:12:35Yeah, sorry, I only had an apple for tea last night.

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Oi, Plankshop, where you been?

0:12:41 > 0:12:46- Just doing my essay.- Well, you're just in time for some laps.- Laps?

0:12:46 > 0:12:50Yeah, 20 of 'em, you know, get us warmed up for training later.

0:12:50 > 0:12:54- Tell you what, Ash, how about you do ours for us?- Yeah, OK. 60 it is!

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Great. Thanks to you we'll still be training by the time

0:13:02 > 0:13:04- we're re-sitting GCSEs. - Why are we re-sitting them?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Cos we're too busy doing press-ups

0:13:06 > 0:13:09- to take them the first time. - I ain't going.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Nathan's getting me out of this whether he likes it or not.

0:13:19 > 0:13:22What are you doing? Wait, Josh, wait, no!

0:13:25 > 0:13:26Nice shot.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Cheers.

0:13:28 > 0:13:32- Who was it?- Sorry.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37- Detention.- Oh, what a shame.

0:13:37 > 0:13:39I'll miss football training too.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43Result.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53And then, like, my dad, like, put well too much gravy on the Yorkshire

0:13:53 > 0:13:56puddings and they went all soggy. It was disgusting, and then,

0:13:56 > 0:13:59like, I also had these earrings and I just bought them and they were

0:13:59 > 0:14:01- like really valuable and everything...- OK, thanks.

0:14:01 > 0:14:02Erm, not finished!

0:14:02 > 0:14:03And then flipping Miss Andress took them off me

0:14:03 > 0:14:04and she's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not allowed to wear them"

0:14:04 > 0:14:06and then my dad was saying if, like, they come back then she's going

0:14:06 > 0:14:08to send them the bill with like a letter in and everything,

0:14:08 > 0:14:10cos like she made me take them off and made my ears grow back,

0:14:10 > 0:14:12and then the other day, I was at the park

0:14:12 > 0:14:14and there was this kid on the swing and I was like

0:14:14 > 0:14:16"What are you doing on the swing?" Cos I was looking...

0:14:16 > 0:14:19Zoe-Marie, ladies and gents!

0:14:20 > 0:14:21Great stuff.

0:14:21 > 0:14:28If we could keep the next one to about five minutes, rather than 27.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30WHISTLE BLOWS

0:14:38 > 0:14:42RAPS: # I don't believe it How could I only just've seen it?

0:14:42 > 0:14:44# The biggest shock to me is I never saw he was scheming

0:14:44 > 0:14:47# I shoulda known from the kick off

0:14:47 > 0:14:50# Josh doing after school activities alone was a tip-off

0:14:50 > 0:14:52# What a rip-off He played me like a game of footy

0:14:52 > 0:14:55# But it's a game of two halves and I ain't a rookie

0:14:55 > 0:14:56# So here's the breakthrough

0:14:56 > 0:14:58# If you want a challenge then it takes two

0:14:58 > 0:15:00# You play me? I outplay you!

0:15:00 > 0:15:02RAPS: # You got skills? Well I got skills too

0:15:02 > 0:15:03# That'll thrill you

0:15:03 > 0:15:05# Put up your wall and I'll drill through

0:15:05 > 0:15:07# Thought I'd played against the worst until you

0:15:07 > 0:15:09# Yeah, you had a bit of game in the past

0:15:09 > 0:15:12# Nah, I still do I'm a pro, bro

0:15:12 > 0:15:15# So, yo, take heed See I outplay you if you play me

0:15:15 > 0:15:18# We can race or chase or go face to face, right

0:15:18 > 0:15:20BOTH: # There's only one winner when it's game-time

0:15:20 > 0:15:23# Now he's been surrounded I'll leave him astounded

0:15:23 > 0:15:25# With the ball at my feet I run rings around him

0:15:25 > 0:15:28# An old man like man like him's no match for youth and style

0:15:28 > 0:15:30# And good looks by the pound

0:15:30 > 0:15:33# I'm a multi-million pound signing Worldwide celebrated

0:15:33 > 0:15:35# He's about to get relegated

0:15:35 > 0:15:38# I'm solid as a rock, man

0:15:38 > 0:15:40# He's see through I'm Premier League

0:15:40 > 0:15:42# You got skills? Well, I got skills too

0:15:42 > 0:15:43# That'll thrill you

0:15:43 > 0:15:45# Put up your wall and I'll drill through

0:15:45 > 0:15:48# Thought I'd played against the worst until you

0:15:48 > 0:15:49# Yeah, you had a bit of game in the past

0:15:49 > 0:15:50# Nah, I still do

0:15:50 > 0:15:53# I'm a pro, bro So, yo, take heed

0:15:53 > 0:15:55# See I outplay you if you play me

0:15:55 > 0:15:58# We can race or chase or go face to face, right

0:15:58 > 0:16:01BOTH: # There's only one winner when it's game-time. #

0:16:01 > 0:16:04Josh, shouldn't you be in football practice?

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Yeah, I sort of kicked a football through your window.

0:16:08 > 0:16:12Huh, well, all the more reason to get some practice in, I'd say.

0:16:12 > 0:16:13But I mean...

0:16:15 > 0:16:19Oh and er, I'd hurry up if I were you.

0:16:19 > 0:16:22There's still a good hour to get in some pitch time.

0:16:22 > 0:16:241-0 to me!

0:16:28 > 0:16:30Ahem, sorry about that.

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Erm, so, anything else anyone wants to talk about?

0:16:34 > 0:16:39- Molly?- Er, yes, Sir. I'd like to talk about favouritism.

0:16:42 > 0:16:47You're late, Carter. Get down and give me ten.

0:16:47 > 0:16:49Faster come on!

0:16:54 > 0:17:00Wait a second, no listen. Hold on the purpose of this afternoon...

0:17:00 > 0:17:02..Was to voice some of our complaints

0:17:02 > 0:17:04to see if it could link back to an understanding

0:17:04 > 0:17:07of why we're always in detention, right?

0:17:07 > 0:17:10- Yeah, yeah, that's right.- So, fine. One rule for one,

0:17:10 > 0:17:12and one rule for another.

0:17:12 > 0:17:15- And his little brother!- I was talking about his little brother.

0:17:15 > 0:17:18All right, don't snap at me, yeah?!

0:17:18 > 0:17:21- This isn't about favouritism. - So why does brother get

0:17:21 > 0:17:24to go and kick a ball around while we're stuck in here with you?

0:17:24 > 0:17:27Josh doesn't even like football! What I was trying to do...

0:17:27 > 0:17:30I don't like EastEnders, send me to watch that.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32What's wrong with EastEnders?

0:17:32 > 0:17:36Look, anyway, whether he likes it or not,

0:17:36 > 0:17:38it's obviously better than this.

0:17:41 > 0:17:44Forcing me to do football? Now that's out of order, Bruv.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47And getting me accused of favouritism, that's fine?

0:17:47 > 0:17:49It's the type of thing that people lose their jobs over.

0:17:53 > 0:17:55All I'm saying is that if you keep

0:17:55 > 0:17:58giving up on stuff just cos it's hard then you're never going

0:17:58 > 0:18:01to get good at anything. You know,

0:18:01 > 0:18:04Take me, for example, yeah. I used to be rubbish at cooking,

0:18:04 > 0:18:06but I stuck at it, and now,

0:18:06 > 0:18:09I can make a pretty mean chicken tikka masala.

0:18:13 > 0:18:17Yeah. Instead of just having an apple for tea. Now you're going

0:18:17 > 0:18:21to keep playing football, all right and trust me, you will thank me

0:18:21 > 0:18:23when you're striker for England.

0:18:38 > 0:18:39RUMBLING

0:18:39 > 0:18:41Was that your...?

0:18:41 > 0:18:43Yes, all right.

0:18:43 > 0:18:48Morning all! Let's get our essays out before we start, please.

0:18:50 > 0:18:54I just did mine now, 4 minutes 20, new record!

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Whereas I on the other hand...

0:18:58 > 0:19:00- Where's Molly?- No idea.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Great, that's it. I really am dead. Worm feed!

0:19:06 > 0:19:10- Josh!- One gazillion out of ten!

0:19:13 > 0:19:16Didn't do it, forgot, sorry!

0:19:17 > 0:19:20But I guess this means I'm in detention, right?

0:19:20 > 0:19:26Don't try to do me any favours, sir, cos you know I am your brother.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Yeah, that's right, detention.

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Oh, man. I'll miss football practice too!

0:19:36 > 0:19:38Yeah, no football practice.

0:19:40 > 0:19:42HE COUGHS (One-all.)

0:19:46 > 0:19:47Ryan?

0:19:47 > 0:19:53Well, the thing is, sir, that erm, well, that is to say

0:19:53 > 0:19:56that, erm, my dog he could've...

0:19:58 > 0:20:00No, I haven't done it either, sir.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Mmm, so what's that?

0:20:08 > 0:20:12Oh! I guess I forgot that I'd done it, sir.

0:20:17 > 0:20:18Why?

0:20:20 > 0:20:22I've only had an apple for tea, two nights running.

0:20:22 > 0:20:24And what are you having tonight?

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Another one!

0:20:28 > 0:20:32I reckon if I was to eat two bags of these, I'd be like a hamster

0:20:32 > 0:20:35and I could stock 'em up. He ain't breaking me.

0:20:46 > 0:20:48I can't believe you've wangled your way

0:20:48 > 0:20:53- out of practice this afternoon. - Every afternoon. Epic win.

0:20:53 > 0:20:57Oh, what am I going to do? I genuinely think I might die.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59It runs in my family you know.

0:20:59 > 0:21:05- My great-granddad, he died. - From exercise?- I've no idea!

0:21:05 > 0:21:08But that's the point, isn't it? You never know.

0:21:08 > 0:21:10But what am I going to do?

0:21:11 > 0:21:17You know, as one of my best mates, I suppose my brother

0:21:17 > 0:21:20wouldn't like to be seen doing any favours for you too.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Donut!

0:21:42 > 0:21:47Ryan, detention! Four o'clock.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54BELL RINGS

0:21:56 > 0:21:58I'd feel better if I knew what I'd done wrong.

0:21:58 > 0:22:01The important thing is this afternoon you

0:22:01 > 0:22:06and I get to chill behind our desks without a whistle in sight.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08WHISTLE

0:22:08 > 0:22:15You're late. Well, go grab your sports kit.

0:22:15 > 0:22:16- Come again?- Exercise!

0:22:16 > 0:22:20Some people wanted to join you yesterday and I thought, why not?

0:22:20 > 0:22:23You know, exercise, it helps concentration,

0:22:23 > 0:22:25- reduces aggression.- What?

0:22:25 > 0:22:28Who you calling "aggression", elbow licker?

0:22:29 > 0:22:33And Mr Thorne has agreed that we can join his lot once or twice a week.

0:22:33 > 0:22:36I've changed my mind. I want to go to prison after all...

0:22:36 > 0:22:40Which means you don't have to miss any practice.

0:22:40 > 0:22:41Isn't that great news?

0:22:47 > 0:22:482-1.

0:22:51 > 0:22:55Please, sir, could you tell me what I've done wrong. I need to know.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57- My parents keep records. - You know why, Ryan!

0:22:57 > 0:23:00I asked for a nice little story about a first date.

0:23:00 > 0:23:02This scared me.

0:23:02 > 0:23:07Even a totally insane Romeo wouldn't show up at a masked ball

0:23:07 > 0:23:12with a flame-thrower, an axe and a shovel. Oh, I'm writing

0:23:12 > 0:23:15to your parents about this and probably a psychiatrist.

0:23:15 > 0:23:20Tut-tut! I got an A by the way. Funny that. You insulted me,

0:23:20 > 0:23:26- you paid and you bought me this. Thanks, Romeo.- I said, "no offence"!

0:23:34 > 0:23:38- What are you doing?- Hello! Zumba.

0:23:38 > 0:23:41This was a good idea of mine, wasn't it, sir?

0:23:41 > 0:23:45- A good idea of OURS actually, Agness.- Mostly mine.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50Josh, come on, man.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53How are you going to make it to the England squad running like this?

0:23:53 > 0:23:57I won't make it to my next birthday running like this.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59WHISTLE BLOWS IN RHYTHM

0:24:02 > 0:24:05HE BLOWS WHISTLE IN RHYTHM

0:24:05 > 0:24:08Enough! No more whistling!

0:24:08 > 0:24:10You know what? I'm done with this, so's everyone else.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12Come on, who's with me.

0:24:12 > 0:24:17- I like it. It was my idea you know. - Ryan, put your hand up.- What?

0:24:17 > 0:24:19Oh, yeah, I thought it was up!

0:24:19 > 0:24:23See, Josh, some people do actually finish what they've started,

0:24:23 > 0:24:26instead of trying to get everyone else to do the work for them.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29But that's down to them, innit? If they want to do this stuff fine.

0:24:29 > 0:24:31- I don't, so why should I? - It's for your own good.

0:24:31 > 0:24:34Doesn't matter whether you're cooking curry,

0:24:34 > 0:24:37writing essays or playing football. If you don't work,

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- you won't get any better. - Yeah, whatever.

0:24:40 > 0:24:43You used to play football all the time and you're still useless.

0:24:43 > 0:24:49- Better than you.- Oh, yeah, prove it. - Fine.- Penalty shoot-out?

0:24:49 > 0:24:53Penalty shoot-out, if you can do that without quitting.

0:24:53 > 0:24:54Oh, we're so on!

0:25:01 > 0:25:03Get ready for the magic.

0:25:08 > 0:25:13Wow, that really was magic, bro(!) Made your dignity disappear!

0:25:16 > 0:25:18Watch and learn.

0:25:24 > 0:25:27Uh-huh, yeah, now I see.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42You better get in there quick!

0:25:59 > 0:26:02That's it! This is pathetic.

0:26:02 > 0:26:07You can forget about having a place on my team, ever! You're out.

0:26:09 > 0:26:10And you!

0:26:13 > 0:26:20Stick to teaching English and keep your rabble away from my team,

0:26:20 > 0:26:23and that includes you!

0:26:25 > 0:26:28Ten more minutes, Mum, please!

0:26:28 > 0:26:30- Bruv!- What?

0:26:30 > 0:26:32I think I was wrong.

0:26:36 > 0:26:41I think it's OK to...give something up

0:26:41 > 0:26:45- if you really don't enjoy it. - Serious?- Serious.

0:26:46 > 0:26:50Why don't we... Why don't we call it a draw? Mmm?

0:26:50 > 0:26:532-2. Sweet.

0:26:56 > 0:26:58Anyone fancy a kick-about?

0:27:08 > 0:27:10I've made tea!

0:27:10 > 0:27:15- Aw, no way. Nice one, J.- Yeah, you were right. I probably should stick

0:27:15 > 0:27:18with some of the boring stuff I do. You've got to start somewhere.

0:27:18 > 0:27:23And plus, if I eat another apple I'll probably sick up the pips!

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Nice one, J. Thanks, man. This is...

0:27:32 > 0:27:34..disgusting!

0:27:35 > 0:27:37Argh, it's really gross, man!

0:27:39 > 0:27:41Apple?

0:28:00 > 0:28:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd