0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle
0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What d'you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# You should stay
0:00:19 > 0:00:20# It can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:23# There's good days and bad days
0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now, 4 O'Clock. #
0:00:49 > 0:00:51That's an... erm... interesting tie, sir.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53It's a present from my aunt and uncle.
0:00:53 > 0:00:56Wow. They must've really hated you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59Actually, they're taking me for a birthday dinner tonight.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03It's your birthday? What, does Mum know?
0:01:03 > 0:01:05What else did you get for your birthday, sir?
0:01:05 > 0:01:08- A card from my parents. - A card with money in it?
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Well, it was more of a text. Well, half a text.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14"Happy birth." Mum's not great with technology.
0:01:14 > 0:01:18So, all you really got was a manky tie that looks like cow sick?
0:01:18 > 0:01:19That's well rubbish.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22If I was you I'd take them to court and sue their legs off.
0:01:22 > 0:01:25- You'd saw their legs off?- Bit far.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28How old are you, sir?
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Let's just focus on detention.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32I'll find out.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34Go on his YourFace profile. It'll say on that.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36VARIOUS MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- Put the phones away.- I reckon he's at least 58 and a half.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Guys, that's enough.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46Got it! Ah, skunks. He's set his profile to private.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Well, let's guess his password.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52Right. You all know phones are banned in detention. Hand them over.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Josh. Phone.- No, I'm doing something.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07I won't ask again.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Fair enough. Hey! I was in the middle of a text, man.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16What's so important that it can't wait until after detention?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19I...I was setting up a record deal.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- You never mentioned that.- Mm.
0:02:21 > 0:02:26- You're all clearly bored, so let's do something creative.- No!
0:02:26 > 0:02:28Sir, there's only 15 minutes left.
0:02:28 > 0:02:29Ash, Ryan, you can help me.
0:02:29 > 0:02:33- Noooo!- The rest of you behave, or else.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51This is, like, well outrageous. He can't take our phones off us.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54That's like taking my lung, and turning it into a hat.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56We should totally kick up a protest.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11What are you doing?
0:03:11 > 0:03:14Locking Dexter out until he gives us our phones back.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16Now you're talking my language.
0:03:16 > 0:03:18Duh, English. Obvioso.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21- How long are you going to keep it locked for?- Till he breaks.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I mean, I've got to get this whole record deal thing sorted
0:03:24 > 0:03:26before either he or I leaves.
0:03:26 > 0:03:28I reckon you're...36?
0:03:28 > 0:03:29You're not even close.
0:03:29 > 0:03:3137?
0:03:31 > 0:03:32That's the wrong direction.
0:03:32 > 0:03:3539? 45?
0:03:35 > 0:03:36HE SIGHS
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Look, if you really want to know, I'm 30...weird.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42- You're 30-weird? - Why is it locked?
0:03:42 > 0:03:44JOSH LAUGHS
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Oh, Josh, don't do this!
0:03:47 > 0:03:50Then give us my phone back.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52My cello's in there. I need it.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56- Ah, true love.- Shut-up, Ash! I have cello practice at half five.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Do either of you two know how to pick a lock?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05- Ryan knows how to pick his nose. - Not true! He's the picker.
0:04:05 > 0:04:07There's gold in them thar nostrils.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10The deal is, what I say goes. I'm in charge here.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Not what it looks like to me.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19# All right, I got to get my phone back
0:04:19 > 0:04:21# Even though this ain't about a record deal
0:04:21 > 0:04:22# The fact is no-one knows that
0:04:22 > 0:04:24# And that's the way I'd like to keep it
0:04:24 > 0:04:27# What I've got to say It kinda has to stay secret
0:04:27 > 0:04:29# That's a neat trick Thanks, Josh
0:04:29 > 0:04:32# Cos it's not just the door Now I've got my hands locked
0:04:32 > 0:04:34# And how can I give the letter of the law
0:04:34 > 0:04:36# When I'm trapped outside in a corridor?
0:04:36 > 0:04:39# Technically I should probably let them back in
0:04:39 > 0:04:41# Cos the time till the end of detention's that thin
0:04:41 > 0:04:44# I should probably be a little more grown up
0:04:44 > 0:04:46# And stop creating this little show but...
0:04:46 > 0:04:48# Technically I should probably give their phones back
0:04:48 > 0:04:50# Cos it's after 3:30 and they know that
0:04:50 > 0:04:53# If I do, I could make it to the station
0:04:53 > 0:04:55# Pick up my aunt and uncle, they'll be waiting, but
0:04:55 > 0:04:57# If I give in, then I've lost
0:04:57 > 0:05:00# Man, if I give in, I'm not Josh
0:05:00 > 0:05:02# Can't look meek in front of this lot
0:05:02 > 0:05:05# Can't look weak, it's dumb I can't flop
0:05:05 > 0:05:07# So I mustn't give in It's the principle
0:05:07 > 0:05:09# Nah, I'm never giving in I'm invincible
0:05:09 > 0:05:12BOTH: # And whether or not the plan is sound
0:05:12 > 0:05:14# One thing's for sure I'll stand my ground. #
0:05:14 > 0:05:17If I open up, it means you've won and I can't let that happen
0:05:17 > 0:05:20cos you've been on my back all term.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22Oh, man! Mum, I just had the best day ever.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Remember that new flophead of a new teacher?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27We totally owned him, it was...
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Why is all my stuff in the living room?
0:05:30 > 0:05:31Josh, meet our new lodger.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35MUFFLED: You?
0:05:35 > 0:05:38What?! No, no, no. He has to go, he's my teacher.
0:05:38 > 0:05:42- Josh, wait! Guess what? I've got us a gig.- What?!
0:05:42 > 0:05:46And we won't even have to travel. It's here, at the school, tonight!
0:05:46 > 0:05:49- Are you crazy? - I know it's a bit little soon,
0:05:49 > 0:05:51but don't be embarrassed of your songs, they're great.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54It's not the songs I'm embarrassed about.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You and Josh, you're the band?
0:05:59 > 0:06:00For one night only.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Oh don't worry, that suits me fine.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Apparently, I'm too embarrassing for Josh to be seen with live on stage
0:06:05 > 0:06:08so I'm going to be playing the keyboard in the backroom.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10OK, it's time for some live music.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12He's young, he's fresh, he's supercool.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Give it up for the amazing J Hyphen!
0:06:14 > 0:06:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:18 > 0:06:20HEAVY BEATS AND PIANO
0:06:20 > 0:06:22MUSIC ECHOES FROM HALL
0:06:27 > 0:06:28Where's the smoke?
0:06:35 > 0:06:39# I get this strange feeling whenever you walk by me
0:06:39 > 0:06:40Is it working? Is this...?
0:06:44 > 0:06:46MUSIC CONTINUES TO ECHO
0:06:46 > 0:06:49SMOKE MACHINE HISSES
0:06:49 > 0:06:52# All I want to say's hello Then I end up running home
0:06:52 > 0:06:55# Hey, you, over here Why don't you come closer, yeah?
0:06:55 > 0:06:56# Cos I know...
0:06:56 > 0:06:59HE COUGHS
0:06:59 > 0:07:00# In your world, in your world
0:07:00 > 0:07:02HE SPLUTTERS AND COUGHS
0:07:02 > 0:07:04# I got so, so close, girl And now I'm... #
0:07:04 > 0:07:06MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
0:07:06 > 0:07:08HE COUGHS
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Don't just stand there. Evacuate!
0:07:12 > 0:07:13SCREAMING AND FIRE ALARM
0:07:13 > 0:07:16It's fine, it's just the smoke machine.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19- Agh, argh!- Everybody out!!
0:07:20 > 0:07:25If I've been on your back it's usually been for good reason.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27And I want you all to sit quietly, and think about
0:07:27 > 0:07:29everything that led to you being here tonight.
0:07:29 > 0:07:34Sit quietly AND think? Talk about multi-tasking.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Josh, shush.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38You're late...Agness, isn't it?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Zoe-Marie, why'd you kick my sister?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43- I never!- You're the one telling everyone I live in a tent.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46I don't want people thinking I'm some sort of dirty tent weirdo,
0:07:46 > 0:07:49- who lives in a tent.- Here we go! - I never said that!- OK, whoa.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Firstly, there's nothing wrong with living in a tent.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55But I don't. Why are you saying I live in a tent? YOU live in a tent.
0:07:55 > 0:07:56You're a tent lord.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Zoe-Marie, why did you tell people I wanted to be a prefect?- I did not.
0:07:59 > 0:08:01- Yes, you did. - REST OF CLASS: Fight, fight!
0:08:01 > 0:08:03DEXTER: I really think that's enough.
0:08:03 > 0:08:04COMMOTION
0:08:04 > 0:08:06All of you, behave!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09Josh, they're going to have a fight because of you.
0:08:09 > 0:08:12- Scratching, slapping. - I'm getting a better place.
0:08:12 > 0:08:15- Do something.- OK, right, well, that's it.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18People, detention's over.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20COMMOTION STOPS
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- Over?- Home!- Oh, mate.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:08:30 > 0:08:34Hi, Auntie Jasmine. Thanks for the tie.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Yep, I'll be there to pick you up, don't worry about it.
0:08:38 > 0:08:42No, the station's perfectly safe... probably.
0:08:42 > 0:08:45Getting in early? How early?
0:08:47 > 0:08:51Ash, you've got to help me convince Josh. If I miss cello practice,
0:08:51 > 0:08:53my mum will hollow me out and turn me into a cello.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56I'm on the side of justice here, Cello Yellow.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59This is about the right of the common student to be able to look up
0:08:59 > 0:09:03their teacher's age on their phones in detention.
0:09:03 > 0:09:05Why do you always have to take the opposite side to me?
0:09:05 > 0:09:09Why do you always have to be such a crab sandwich?
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Just think of yourselves as an old English style boy band.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Yeah, this actually might be quite cool.
0:09:15 > 0:09:18OK. One, two, three.
0:09:18 > 0:09:21SHE PLAYS PIANO
0:09:25 > 0:09:28TOGETHER IN CHORUS: # Pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan
0:09:28 > 0:09:31# Pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan
0:09:31 > 0:09:35# Pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan
0:09:35 > 0:09:39# Pat-a-pan, pat-a-pan, pa-a-a-t
0:09:39 > 0:09:43# Willie, bring your little drum Robin, bring your flute and come
0:09:43 > 0:09:46# And be merry while you play Tu-ra-lu-ra-lu-ra-lay
0:09:46 > 0:09:50# Tu-ra-lu-ra-lu-ra-lay Tu-ra-lu-ra-lu-ra-lay. #
0:10:00 > 0:10:03No-one can ever know about this.
0:10:05 > 0:10:09My mum says people who play violent video games always end up in prison.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12My mum says getting expelled is worse that committing murder.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15My mum says rap concerts are a celebration of sin and wickedness.
0:10:15 > 0:10:19Yeah, thanks for that, Spongebore Squarepants.
0:10:19 > 0:10:20SLAP!
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Ow! Grow up.- Only when I'm ready.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Where'd you get that?
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Dad brought it home from work.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- What are you going to do with it? - I don't know.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33Something worthy of a rubber band this big.
0:10:33 > 0:10:37- Something really good. - Oh, yeah. Much more jokes already.
0:10:37 > 0:10:38It's already started.
0:10:38 > 0:10:42Write your name on it so it doesn't get thieved like your giant magnet.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Good thinking.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48So does that mean I'm still in charge of detention?
0:10:48 > 0:10:52- If that's what you want.- Of course. - For now.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54TWANG, SLAP
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Who dares to twang something at me?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00Now you're for it, you spannerneck.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Which one of you is Ryan?
0:11:03 > 0:11:05SPLASH!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08I'm stupid, but I'm not that stupid.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14DEXTER: Please try to stay calm. Oh, great(!)
0:11:14 > 0:11:15She's already panicking
0:11:15 > 0:11:18that the station's full of freaks and criminals.
0:11:18 > 0:11:20- She'll nut me if I turn up late. - Forget about your aunt.
0:11:20 > 0:11:23What about if Ding Dong comes down here and sees us?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25Never mind Mr Bell. I'd be more worried about Josh's mum.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28There's been a lot of getting into trouble already this term,
0:11:28 > 0:11:29hasn't there, sir?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Is there a bucket I can use to clear up some graffiti?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33I don't know who this "Ding-Dong" is but
0:11:33 > 0:11:36apparently his mum's a hairy moose.
0:11:39 > 0:11:45I'll leave you to show Mr Harris round. Sorry.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53- OK, firstly that's Mr Bell. - Oh, Ding Dong!
0:12:06 > 0:12:07What?
0:12:07 > 0:12:10- You know what.- You look very athletic in those pants, sir.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13- Those were trunks.- Well, they look like pants.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15- I can't believe you went on my laptop.- Oh, this was
0:12:15 > 0:12:17nothing to do with me, sir.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21- I understand there has been an incident.- Yes,
0:12:21 > 0:12:23- but I know exactly who's to blame. - So do I.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Your social networking profile was set to public. I've seen it.
0:12:27 > 0:12:31Any of the students could've accessed it.
0:12:31 > 0:12:36- Ah, right.- Teachers need to ensure that their own personal fluff
0:12:36 > 0:12:40- remains out of the public domain. - Yes. Of course.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43Sorry, Dad. I mean, Sir. Mr Bell. Not Dad.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- MR BELL:- Let's achieve the level of discipline
0:12:46 > 0:12:49that I know this school is capable of.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51TANNOY: Ooww. Hot-hot-hot!
0:12:51 > 0:12:55# Oh, Mr Shower Man Oh, baby
0:12:55 > 0:12:58# Scrubbing my face Ain't no disgrace
0:12:58 > 0:13:00# Yeah... #
0:13:00 > 0:13:02Is that you, Harris?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03That could be anybody.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05# Dexter be loving the lather... #
0:13:05 > 0:13:07CHILDREN LAUGH
0:13:07 > 0:13:09# It's soap-tastic
0:13:09 > 0:13:11# Washing my pits Down to my bits
0:13:11 > 0:13:13# Oh, yeah
0:13:13 > 0:13:19# Here comes the shampoo-oooh. #
0:13:19 > 0:13:21(Josh!)
0:13:21 > 0:13:23We train up the miscreants using rewards
0:13:23 > 0:13:26and then end up with a school full of model pupils like these.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Good behaviour becomes a habit.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Then we can do away with the prizes.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39You have all the tools you need now.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42So if you can't make your "4 O'Clock Club" behave,
0:13:42 > 0:13:45then you've only yourself to blame.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46(Ow!)
0:13:46 > 0:13:48I expect results.
0:13:53 > 0:13:54There's only one thing to do.
0:13:54 > 0:13:55Give us back our phones?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Not going to happen.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Oh, right. So, it's one rule for teachers,
0:13:59 > 0:14:01another for the rest of us.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:14:07 > 0:14:10- Dexter! What's up, man?- Josh has locked himself in the 4 O'Clock
0:14:10 > 0:14:12and won't come out.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15OK, what do you want me to do about it? I'm in Scotland.
0:14:15 > 0:14:19I just need some advice. You know him better than anyone.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20Ain't that the truth.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22What've you done?
0:14:22 > 0:14:26Nothing...bruv.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28The ear of lies says different.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Hmm? Hmm.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- What?- Fight, fight, fight!
0:14:35 > 0:14:36Give me the camera.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43Your attention, everyone. The Mayor.
0:14:43 > 0:14:45APPLAUSE
0:14:45 > 0:14:48It's with great honour that I proudly declare...
0:14:48 > 0:14:50He's rigged the sign.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54..the new Elmsbury Academy officially open.
0:14:56 > 0:14:58SLOW MOTION GRUNTING
0:14:58 > 0:15:02Nooooo!
0:15:04 > 0:15:08Oh, crumbs!
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Oooh!
0:15:09 > 0:15:16What are you doing, man? Get off her. Get off her!
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Carter, stop ruining everything!
0:15:18 > 0:15:22"Smelly Bum Arcade"? No photos.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27OK, well, er...one time he locked himself in the bathroom
0:15:27 > 0:15:29'when I refused to take him to Weasel World.'
0:15:29 > 0:15:32- How did you get him out?- I waited until he got hungry,
0:15:32 > 0:15:34and started cooking hamburgers.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36I haven't time for hamburgers!
0:15:36 > 0:15:40Dexter, you're the authority there. OK, You need to get tough with Josh.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Tough. Gotcha.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Dexter, are you...pulling a face?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50No!
0:15:51 > 0:15:54I can't believe you two. Usually you're the first out of the door.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57- We're standing up for stuff and that.- This is about a principle.
0:15:57 > 0:16:00Since when did protesting about stuff ever achieve anything?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03If it wasn't for the protests of the Suffragette Movement,
0:16:03 > 0:16:06- women wouldn't have equal rights to men.- You're comparing this to that?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08How exactly are you suffering?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Because I need the loo like you wouldn't believe.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14- That is well gross.- We all do it. - No way do I, Goth gardens.
0:16:14 > 0:16:18- Why are you so rude?- Why you so goody-goody pain-in-the-face?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20It's called being helpful.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27- Here, Sir.- Thank you.- I'm Agness, Sir.- Thank you, Agness.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- You girls all set for another fun day of school?- You what?
0:16:30 > 0:16:32I only just got here. You having a go at me already?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- No, not in the slightest. - I heard how you said it.
0:16:34 > 0:16:37"Another fun day of school". What does that even mean?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- It's just me saying good morning. - What's so good about it anyway?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- What do you know that I don't? - Sorry, Sir. Zoe-Marie's emotional.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45- Mr Carter leaves today. - Shut-up, yeah? I ain't emotional.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- What are you telling him I've got emotions for?- Well, enjoy your day.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54Helpful, or interfering?
0:16:54 > 0:16:58At least I don't wander around like a massive rain cloud.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Molly? What happened? Was it the vampires?
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Did the vampires get you?
0:17:04 > 0:17:06So sweet you think it's clever to make fun of someone
0:17:06 > 0:17:08for expressing herself.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11And there was me thinking you boys might've gone through puberty
0:17:11 > 0:17:16over the summer. I think I speak for both of us when I say, "Ouch!"
0:17:16 > 0:17:19Oh, my flipping nut cake, yeah. What are you supposed to be?
0:17:19 > 0:17:20You look like somebody ate an undertaker
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- and threw up over a thing. - Stop it, Zoe-Marie.
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Molly's obviously in mourning. Who died?
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Well, duh. Obviously she's in morning. It's 9am, or something.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Molly, we're here if you need to talk.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36Well excuse me for having depth.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39- If you've got depth, Zoe-Marie has class.- Shut-up, yeah!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42I'm well classy. I'm basically Victoria Beckham, but better.
0:17:42 > 0:17:44They're gazing into each other's eyes. She might like him.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Who cares if she doesn't?
0:17:46 > 0:17:48We set them up anyway. We need to get them to dance or something.
0:17:48 > 0:17:52That is a great idea. Yeah, it's like they're meant for each other.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53He's actually right.
0:17:53 > 0:17:54Mr Harris runs the 4 O'Clock Club, so, duh.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57She liked Mr Carter who also ran the 4 O'Clock Club, duh.
0:17:57 > 0:17:58So that's, like, duh.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00Can't fault logic like that.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03Think about the genius of where we are right now.
0:18:03 > 0:18:04How's this genius?
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Because of this.
0:18:07 > 0:18:08ICE CREAM VAN CHIMES
0:18:21 > 0:18:22PHONE RINGS
0:18:24 > 0:18:26BRAKES SCREECH
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Hey! What are you doing?
0:18:29 > 0:18:33It's all right. We're going to pay. Give her the money.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36GET OUT OF MY VAN!!!
0:18:36 > 0:18:40- Here's a Good Buddy sticker.- I'd rather not be brainwashed, thanks.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42- I'll have it.- It doesn't quite work like that.- You what?
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Are you messing about, Miss?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Flippin' Twilight gets to have a sticker and I don't?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49That's WELL outrageous. That's worse than the time Mr Wilson
0:18:49 > 0:18:52dropped a Bunsen burner on Jason Taylor's head.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54If you want a sticker, do your work.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55You are having a giraffe.
0:18:59 > 0:19:00Will you both shut up?
0:19:00 > 0:19:02I'm trying to concentrate on not wetting myself.
0:19:02 > 0:19:03Toilet jockey.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11KNOCK ON DOOR Josh. It's me.
0:19:11 > 0:19:13I'm going give you to the count of five to open this door
0:19:13 > 0:19:17or I'll have no choice but to...to, er...
0:19:17 > 0:19:20- Smash it in!- Yes, I'll smash it in.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28THUD!
0:19:28 > 0:19:31Agh! Agh, ow!
0:19:34 > 0:19:39Agh, agh!
0:19:39 > 0:19:41MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:19:41 > 0:19:43Hello, Dexter. What happened?
0:19:43 > 0:19:44I bruised my shoulder.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Let me talk to him.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52KNOCK ON DOOR
0:19:59 > 0:20:01J Carter, superstar?
0:20:01 > 0:20:03Bruv, open the door.
0:20:03 > 0:20:04He took my phone.
0:20:04 > 0:20:09How would he feel if I stole all his shoe horns?
0:20:09 > 0:20:12He's got a shoe horn? What, seriously?
0:20:12 > 0:20:14Mate, he has two.
0:20:14 > 0:20:15HE CHUCKLES
0:20:15 > 0:20:17Who has a sho...?
0:20:17 > 0:20:22Look, never mind. You are the kid, OK? He's a teacher.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24He's got every right to take your phone.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27I'm not going to back down in front of my audience, am I?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29I've got a reputation to maintain.
0:20:29 > 0:20:32You always have to be the big man.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34When has that got you anywhere?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Do you want a list of all the times things went my way?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40# Well, well, well, guess who's in another fix?
0:20:40 > 0:20:42# I might just need some clever little brother tricks
0:20:42 > 0:20:45# Typical Nathan I guess Just slipping
0:20:45 > 0:20:47# One problem and he's a headless chicken
0:20:47 > 0:20:50# Then it's down to me to bail him out, of course
0:20:50 > 0:20:52# Similar to when he ran out of clean boxer shorts
0:20:52 > 0:20:55# And he was running late for some hot dinner date
0:20:55 > 0:20:58# I made him a pair with scissors and a pillowcase
0:20:58 > 0:20:59# And I can see it in his face
0:20:59 > 0:21:02# He's most happy when my situation isn't great
0:21:02 > 0:21:04# 99% of the time, he started it
0:21:04 > 0:21:07# And it's always me who's got to clean up after him
0:21:07 > 0:21:10# But I can only think of dumb ways to fundraise
0:21:10 > 0:21:12# Eating 20 school dinners in my lunch break?
0:21:12 > 0:21:15# Sponsored wig making?
0:21:15 > 0:21:17# Playground bareback pig racing?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19# Poor Nathan, look at his little brain ticking
0:21:19 > 0:21:22# Trying to think something up but it ain't clicking
0:21:22 > 0:21:24# I dunno why he always struggles with the same mission
0:21:24 > 0:21:27# When in the end he'll probably ask for some J wisdom
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# OK, listen Nate you're a sharp dude
0:21:29 > 0:21:32# Probably sharper than a Great White shark tooth
0:21:32 > 0:21:35# And you know there's not a point that you can't prove
0:21:35 > 0:21:37# Although, talking to yourself? Not a smart move
0:21:37 > 0:21:39# He's like a cartoon Nothing between his ears
0:21:39 > 0:21:42# There's only one guy there when he needs ideas
0:21:42 > 0:21:44# Let's be honest He's been feeding off me for years
0:21:44 > 0:21:47# So why's he putting off the obvious? Please, I'm here!
0:21:47 > 0:21:49# Ahhhh, I guess I could run it past him
0:21:49 > 0:21:52# No! I don't want to have to ask him
0:21:52 > 0:21:55# But if he's got an idea that might sell... Hey, Josh?
0:21:55 > 0:21:57# Don't tell me - you need my help. #
0:21:57 > 0:22:00OK, occasionally you came out on top.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03But we both know it didn't always happen like that.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09Whoa!
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Six.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Oh, agh, agh!
0:22:23 > 0:22:25Oh, like you've always been a winner(!)
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Can any of you explain why so many of you are here
0:22:29 > 0:22:30on the very first day of term?
0:22:30 > 0:22:33We had debts left over from last term, sir.
0:22:33 > 0:22:36It's a cuss, but it's not like he makes us do lines and that.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Yeah, there's loads of worse places to be.
0:22:38 > 0:22:40Like being stuck in a wardrobe with a big spider.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42Or a cheese factory.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45So you're saying you actually enjoy being in detention?
0:22:45 > 0:22:46THEY CHUCKLE
0:22:46 > 0:22:50This one time, he let me paint a cow's udders.
0:22:51 > 0:22:57It's just as I feared. Back to my office. Now.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00Look, I'm not unlocking that door until he gives me my phone back.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02End of.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04HANGS UP PHONE
0:23:07 > 0:23:10I was thinking, maybe this has gone on long enough.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13I mean, Mr Harris has probably learned his lesson.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16And giving up has nothing to do with you needing a wee?
0:23:16 > 0:23:21- No, of course not. - I think I should speak to Josh.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23I've got the best people skills.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Shut up, I've got the best people skills.
0:23:24 > 0:23:28Plus, he's a boy, and I talk to boys better than anyone.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30Yeah, she's become this coffin-bothering Goth freak,
0:23:30 > 0:23:33who goes round calling people's pencil cases stupid when they ain't!
0:23:33 > 0:23:35You don't know when to shut up!
0:23:35 > 0:23:38I can shut up any time I want, except I don't want to,
0:23:38 > 0:23:40then people can't hear what I have to say. I have a lot to say.
0:23:40 > 0:23:44Just shut up, girl!
0:23:44 > 0:23:46I think you should just try grabbing the key off him.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Look, Nathan, I ain't got time...
0:23:51 > 0:23:53Oh, sorry, this isn't Dexter.
0:23:53 > 0:23:58This is actually his classroom assistant...Mr Excellent.
0:23:58 > 0:24:03I'm so sorry he couldn't make it to the station in time.
0:24:03 > 0:24:06Yeah, I can really hear the anger in your voice
0:24:06 > 0:24:09and I can hear that your teeth are grinding. Yeah.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11What was that?
0:24:11 > 0:24:15Oh, but he DID say that if you get a cab to the restaurant
0:24:15 > 0:24:18he'll be willing to pay for the entire meal,
0:24:18 > 0:24:20including the tip. Yeah, just as a little apology,
0:24:20 > 0:24:23you know, a nice way to say sorry. OK, bye-bye.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29HE SIGHS
0:24:29 > 0:24:32There must be some other way to get in there. Air vents, windows?
0:24:32 > 0:24:35We can't go in through the windows. Mr Bell had them glued shut
0:24:35 > 0:24:36after the coconut incident.
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Hilarious coconut incident, don't you mean?
0:24:39 > 0:24:43- The caretaker wasn't amused. - Mm, no. He went spare.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- Ash you're a genius.- Oh, I know!
0:24:49 > 0:24:54- Remind me why?- The caretaker's office has spare keys.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Nice one. Thanks to you, Ash, we're getting in after all.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Wait a sec.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09So, this is the caretaker's office?
0:25:11 > 0:25:15- It's nothing like I imagined. - What did you expect?
0:25:15 > 0:25:16Where's the golden throne?
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Got them!
0:25:31 > 0:25:32HE SIGHS
0:25:34 > 0:25:36MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:25:39 > 0:25:41- Right, have you unlocked that door yet?- Bruv, look...
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Help, Mr Carter, he's keeping us trapped!
0:25:43 > 0:25:45All he cares about is his rap career!
0:25:45 > 0:25:48And he's going to make Molly a garden sprinkler.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Sorry, what has this got to do with rap?
0:25:52 > 0:25:55I kind of told him I was arranging a big record deal.
0:25:55 > 0:25:59- Bruv, you can't do that in school. - I know. There is no record deal.
0:25:59 > 0:26:00I was texting Mum.
0:26:00 > 0:26:05Dexter didn't tell me or Mum it's his birthday today and I kinda
0:26:05 > 0:26:08didn't want him to coming home to no cake or presents.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11Well, why didn't you explain that to everyone else?
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Cos I wasn't going to have them
0:26:13 > 0:26:15think I actually like the guy, was I? It was bad enough
0:26:15 > 0:26:17having a brother as a teacher.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22Right, look. I'll talk to Mum and get the cake sorted.
0:26:22 > 0:26:28You just...please, unlock that door and let everyone go home, right?
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Yeah, I suppose.
0:26:39 > 0:26:44Finally! Out of the way, medical emergency!
0:26:48 > 0:26:52It's your birthday. I thought I'd let you off. Just this once, though.
0:26:55 > 0:26:56Detention's over, people.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I've missed you, old friend.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Hmm, a bit tight, feels like the key's stuck?
0:27:14 > 0:27:16Hold on, I'll try turning it the other way.
0:27:16 > 0:27:17SNAP!
0:27:19 > 0:27:22Oh, please, no!
0:27:23 > 0:27:25What just happened?
0:27:28 > 0:27:31OK. To teach you all a lesson about what just happened,
0:27:31 > 0:27:34we're going to stay in here a little longer.
0:27:34 > 0:27:35Sir, are you serious?!
0:27:36 > 0:27:38MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:27:42 > 0:27:44GIGGLING
0:27:44 > 0:27:47It's for you.
0:27:47 > 0:27:50And...happy birthday, Mr Harris.
0:27:53 > 0:27:56- # You can't live with 'em - # And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:56 > 0:27:57# When they're up, they rub it in your face
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Kick you when you're down
0:27:59 > 0:28:01- # But when no-one understands them - # You know what they're on about
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- # Always gonna be around - # Got to find a common ground
0:28:04 > 0:28:06# If you know so much about me
0:28:06 > 0:28:08# Where do I go from here?
0:28:08 > 0:28:09# If you see 'em every day... #