Head of Year

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0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?

0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?

0:00:12 > 0:00:15# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?

0:00:15 > 0:00:18# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo

0:00:18 > 0:00:20# You should stay It can change

0:00:20 > 0:00:23# There's good days and bad days

0:00:23 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop

0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now 4 O'Clock. #

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Yo, Nathan. It's nearly 10 past, bruv.

0:00:41 > 0:00:4310 past?

0:00:50 > 0:00:54Shirt ironed. Shoes polished. Best pants on the radiator.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58All right, what do you want?

0:00:58 > 0:01:00Who, me?

0:01:00 > 0:01:03Don't play games, Josh. This is a big day for me.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05I just want you to get this job as much as you do.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Oh, yeah. The job.

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Wait, what big day were you talking about?

0:01:15 > 0:01:17It's no big deal.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19I just was thinking of asking out Miss Poppy.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21Miss Poppy? Forget Miss Poppy, you spanner!

0:01:21 > 0:01:24We're talking about who gets Head of Year Nine!

0:01:24 > 0:01:26If you don't pull your pants together,

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Ding-Dong is going to give the job to Thorne.

0:01:28 > 0:01:31Ah, right, so you're thinking if I get the job,

0:01:31 > 0:01:32I might be easier on you than Thorne.

0:01:32 > 0:01:34Do you want the job or not?

0:01:34 > 0:01:35Yeah, course.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Stay focussed, yeah?

0:01:37 > 0:01:39# He's right and I know just

0:01:39 > 0:01:41# What is gonna happen if I don't get focussed

0:01:41 > 0:01:43# Tell myself I won't stress

0:01:43 > 0:01:45# But then everywhere I go Lo and behold

0:01:45 > 0:01:47# It's her in a gold dress

0:01:47 > 0:01:49# Those eyes make me st-st-st-st-stammer, st-st-stutter

0:01:49 > 0:01:51# Every o-o-other word I u-u-utter

0:01:51 > 0:01:53# My heart f-f-flutter and then suddenly I can't think

0:01:53 > 0:01:56# Multi-tasking, car parking Marking

0:01:56 > 0:01:58# Had a whole year in this game Learned plenty

0:01:58 > 0:02:00# But just one look at her and my brain turn veggie

0:02:00 > 0:02:03# No matter what I think or do it's Mel

0:02:03 > 0:02:05# Even in an interview with Bell

0:02:05 > 0:02:08# He could be reciting the SAT scores in deep tones

0:02:08 > 0:02:10# All I see is blond hair and beautiful cheekbones

0:02:10 > 0:02:12# And I could take the coldest shower

0:02:12 > 0:02:15# But I still can't focus I'm overpowered, it's like

0:02:15 > 0:02:19# I'm trying to focus on the things that I need

0:02:19 > 0:02:24# Feels like my mind is playing tricks on me

0:02:24 > 0:02:28# I play it cool but then my heart skips a beat

0:02:28 > 0:02:33# Feels like my mind is playing tricks on me

0:02:33 > 0:02:35# I got a rash all over and I can't ignore

0:02:35 > 0:02:38# I admit, never felt like this before

0:02:38 > 0:02:40# It's an itch I can't scratch and this is raw

0:02:40 > 0:02:43# A disease that I call Mr Thorne Yuck!

0:02:43 > 0:02:45# If there's anything bad he could do, he will

0:02:45 > 0:02:47# It's like a battle between good and evil

0:02:47 > 0:02:49# He's got it in for me badly and he

0:02:49 > 0:02:52# Doesn't like my brother He hates my whole family

0:02:52 > 0:02:54# Can't relax when Thorne's on your back

0:02:54 > 0:02:56# He'll cut you no slack when he's on the attack

0:02:56 > 0:02:58# Cos he ain't no teddy bear

0:02:58 > 0:03:00# He's the opposite of Where's Wally probably

0:03:00 > 0:03:02# Cos he's popping up everywhere

0:03:02 > 0:03:05# See him here, see him there Man, I see him with my eyes closed

0:03:05 > 0:03:07# Walking the hall's like a tightrope

0:03:07 > 0:03:09# PE is enough to make me shed a tear

0:03:09 > 0:03:12# Just imagine if the dude was my Head of Year

0:03:12 > 0:03:16# I'm trying to focus on the things that I need

0:03:16 > 0:03:20# Feels like my mind is playing tricks on me. #

0:03:24 > 0:03:27So Miss Poppy's on hold, yeah? It's all about the job.

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Yeah.

0:03:30 > 0:03:34Mel. Mel, wait.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36- What's happening? - Mr Bell! Sorry! Sorry!

0:03:36 > 0:03:40He's thinking about his interview. He's excited, aren't you?

0:03:40 > 0:03:41Yeah.

0:03:41 > 0:03:43I wouldn't worry about your interview.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46I'd worry more about the minute details of your contribution

0:03:46 > 0:03:48to the life and learning of the school.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Give it up for Mr Thorne. Yeah!

0:03:52 > 0:03:55Morning. I've been doing some last-minute triathlon training.

0:03:55 > 0:04:00My way of inspiring the kids and raising money for the school.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Yo, Nathan, you should tell them

0:04:03 > 0:04:05about your fund-raising idea, innit? It's good.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08Oh, yeah. Yeah.

0:04:09 > 0:04:11So what is it?

0:04:11 > 0:04:16Hm? Oh. How much custard can you get in a car?

0:04:18 > 0:04:22I'm kidding. I'll tell you what, I'll get the real idea.

0:04:22 > 0:04:24From over there.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Mel! Mel!

0:04:31 > 0:04:33My brother is such a Fimble, man.

0:04:33 > 0:04:36At this rate the only thing he'll be head of is getting fired.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38You know who would make a great Head of Year?

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Here it comes.

0:04:40 > 0:04:41A monkey.

0:04:41 > 0:04:43Are any of your family available, Ash?

0:04:43 > 0:04:46Yo, what's with the infant juniors?

0:04:46 > 0:04:49This is Adam and Ricky. They're our year seven buddies.

0:04:49 > 0:04:50Shut up!

0:04:50 > 0:04:52It's Ding-Dong's new idea.

0:04:52 > 0:04:54They follow us round and we show them stuff.

0:04:54 > 0:04:57It's called vertical integration.

0:04:58 > 0:05:00Yeah, what he said.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03I think it's great to be able to pass on my wealth of knowledge

0:05:03 > 0:05:05to the next generation.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08I can show you how to write boobies on a calculator if you like.

0:05:08 > 0:05:10Are you sure you're one of the cool kids?

0:05:10 > 0:05:11Yeah!

0:05:11 > 0:05:13Ryan? Cool?

0:05:13 > 0:05:14He's about as cool as his mum.

0:05:14 > 0:05:16She once turned up to parents' evening

0:05:16 > 0:05:19with her skirt tucked into her knickers.

0:05:19 > 0:05:21I'm just happy I ain't got no little munchkin

0:05:21 > 0:05:23following me around all day.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Josh? Jamelia.

0:05:25 > 0:05:26Hey, buddy!

0:05:32 > 0:05:35No, Dad, it's a lovely, peaceful little, local village school

0:05:35 > 0:05:40with beautiful grounds and lots of wildlife. Ow!

0:05:42 > 0:05:44Would you break it up, please?

0:05:45 > 0:05:48And you, yes, you, stop that now!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54"Ding Dong youre mums a hairy mousse."

0:05:54 > 0:05:56That's not even spelt right!

0:05:56 > 0:05:59Yeah, I blame the teachers.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Right! Everyone, gather round!

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Hey, guess what,

0:06:06 > 0:06:09- There's a new one of those grown-ups that still go to school.- Teachers?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11All right, pant-job, I ain't stupid!

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- Anyway, there's a new one of those what he said.- Teachers.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16Oh, just shut up, yeah? All I'm saying is there's a new teacher

0:06:16 > 0:06:19and he's in the doo-dah and he's totally thingy!

0:06:24 > 0:06:29So it's Ding-Dong comma. Your without the E.

0:06:29 > 0:06:33Your possessive pronouns - mum's - That's mum apostrophe S.

0:06:33 > 0:06:36As in, "Ding-Dong, your mum IS a hairy moose."

0:06:36 > 0:06:40And that's M, double O, S, E.

0:06:40 > 0:06:42She's a great, big, smelly thing with antlers,

0:06:42 > 0:06:45not a strawberry-flavoured dessert. Any questions?

0:06:46 > 0:06:48Yeah, can I do one?

0:06:50 > 0:06:53Yeah! When I'm not looking after you, sure.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55< Oi!

0:07:00 > 0:07:02What do you think you're doing?

0:07:02 > 0:07:04Who, me? Nah, this was a teacher.

0:07:04 > 0:07:08This teacher, is his name Mr I-dunno?

0:07:08 > 0:07:09I dunno.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14Clean this up now or I'll tell Miss Andress at first break.

0:07:26 > 0:07:29- I should probably give you a hand. - Yeah, yeah. You should.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34BELL RINGS

0:07:40 > 0:07:41Hey, Mel.

0:07:41 > 0:07:45Hey, Nathan. How's it going? I saw you schmoozing Bell earlier.

0:07:45 > 0:07:46Yeah.

0:07:46 > 0:07:50You know, if Thorne gets that job I'm never speaking to you again.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54No, wait.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57Mel...

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Oh!

0:08:02 > 0:08:03I really like you.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09Would you go out with me?

0:08:09 > 0:08:12Yes, Nathan. Of course I will.

0:08:12 > 0:08:13What, really?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16Yes! What took you so long?

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Yes!

0:08:18 > 0:08:21OK, let's not tell the whole school cos you know what kids are like.

0:08:21 > 0:08:23Yeah, yeah.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26So...we could go out for dinner.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29There's this great place I heard about called Shakers.

0:08:29 > 0:08:31Shakers?

0:08:31 > 0:08:33- Pick you up at seven?- OK.

0:08:35 > 0:08:36Mol.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38Mel.

0:08:38 > 0:08:39How was your weekend?

0:08:39 > 0:08:42- Good, thanks. I went to see some friends...- Great, great.

0:08:42 > 0:08:45I just found your assistant wandering around the school.

0:08:45 > 0:08:48- Hello again.- Dexter, I thought I told you in the email

0:08:48 > 0:08:50that you didn't need to be here till break.

0:08:50 > 0:08:53I know, but I couldn't wait to get cracking.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55Which reminds me, is there a bucket I can use to clean some graffiti?

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I don't know who this Ding-Dong is

0:08:57 > 0:09:00but apparently his mum's a hairy moose.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04I'll leave you to show Mr Harris around.

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Sorry.

0:09:09 > 0:09:12OK, firstly, that's Mr Bell.

0:09:12 > 0:09:14Ding-Dong!

0:09:14 > 0:09:18And secondly, you're a teacher, OK? You don't clean up their graffiti.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20Well, it's complicated.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21No, it isn't.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25I know you're a complete novice but I thought from your interview

0:09:25 > 0:09:28that you might have what it takes. I need to go to my lesson

0:09:28 > 0:09:32but Nathan will show you around, won't you?

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Yeah, sure.

0:09:34 > 0:09:35Thank you.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37I'll see you at break.

0:09:37 > 0:09:39Don't lose him.

0:09:43 > 0:09:48So, this is the IT room. These things are called computers.

0:09:48 > 0:09:51There's loads of things you can do with them -

0:09:51 > 0:09:52surfing the web, e-mailing...

0:09:55 > 0:09:58..booking a table at a restaurant.

0:09:58 > 0:10:00So who's the lucky girl then?

0:10:02 > 0:10:04There we go. Shakers.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06DODGY FUNK MUSIC PLAYS

0:10:08 > 0:10:10Looks like they've done it up a bit.

0:10:10 > 0:10:12Crikey. She's not wearing much.

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Oh, my...

0:10:14 > 0:10:16- They've turned it into some scuzzy nightclub!- What?

0:10:22 > 0:10:24I've got to speak to Mel!

0:10:28 > 0:10:31- You're going out with Miss Poppy? - Ssh!

0:10:31 > 0:10:32Just stay there, OK?

0:10:32 > 0:10:35You're only supposed to follow me at break times.

0:10:35 > 0:10:37Josh, two minutes.

0:10:39 > 0:10:42Can you give Mr Harris the guided tour?

0:10:42 > 0:10:46No. Why? Because I've got double games with Thorne

0:10:46 > 0:10:48and if I'm late again, I'll get slayed.

0:10:48 > 0:10:51No, you won't. I'll write you a note.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Really? You can do that?

0:10:52 > 0:10:54Yeah.

0:10:57 > 0:10:59Take the whole lesson off.

0:11:00 > 0:11:02Sweet!

0:11:02 > 0:11:06'Sup? You did clean up that graffiti, yeah?

0:11:08 > 0:11:11BRASS BAND PLAYS

0:11:16 > 0:11:19Good. OK, wait for the change.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23Oh!

0:11:23 > 0:11:25THEY FALL OUT OF TUNE

0:11:25 > 0:11:26No...

0:11:35 > 0:11:39I thought we were going to play it cool. Where's Dexter?

0:11:39 > 0:11:43Relax. Listen, don't panic. Josh is looking after him.

0:11:43 > 0:11:44Josh?

0:11:44 > 0:11:46My mother is a hairy moose.

0:11:46 > 0:11:50No, that's what it says. Just find it!

0:11:50 > 0:11:53Ah, Nathan, is now a good time?

0:11:53 > 0:11:54For what?

0:11:54 > 0:11:58To hear all about this fund-raising idea of yours.

0:11:58 > 0:11:59Oh, yeah. Yeah, that.

0:11:59 > 0:12:05I just need to iron out a few details and... Yeah.

0:12:05 > 0:12:10Excellent! I look forward to hearing all about that at first break.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12Perfect. I'll see you at first break.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15Well, go on then.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18And remember, you can sponsor me at my website,

0:12:18 > 0:12:23www.Mr Thorne is a real winner.com.

0:12:23 > 0:12:26Oi, sir, you know this triathlon thingy, yeah?

0:12:26 > 0:12:27You should so do it dressed as Elmo.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29Elmo the Elmsbury Bunny!

0:12:29 > 0:12:31- LAUGHTER - No chance!

0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Go on, sir, it'll suit you.- Yeah, we won't be able to see your face.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37You'll raise loads more money cos you'll totes look like a div

0:12:37 > 0:12:39and everyone's SO going to pay pounds to see that.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42I don't care. I'm not dressing up as a bunny.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43- Come on, sir.- Do it, sir.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45BOOING

0:12:45 > 0:12:47Shut up, you delinquents.

0:12:49 > 0:12:50Where's Carter?

0:12:52 > 0:12:54What do you mean? You said you'd clean it up.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Well, I didn't actually.

0:12:56 > 0:12:58But it's your graffiti!

0:12:58 > 0:12:59Well, it's complicated.

0:12:59 > 0:13:01No, it isn't.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02It isn't.

0:13:02 > 0:13:05I promised Miss Poppy I wouldn't do it.

0:13:05 > 0:13:06You promised me you would.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09Yeah, you did.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12Look, the point is, I am the teacher here and I'm telling you...

0:13:12 > 0:13:14All right, no, no, it's fine, I'll do it.

0:13:14 > 0:13:17- Good man! - I'm going to need the bleach though.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19Good. Right.

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Or could be I won't be needing it after all.

0:13:27 > 0:13:29That is well naughty.

0:13:30 > 0:13:34All right, I'll clean up the graffiti, just let me out!

0:13:34 > 0:13:35You, boy!

0:14:05 > 0:14:07CHEERING

0:14:10 > 0:14:11I think we've lost him.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15You'd better have a very good explanation

0:14:15 > 0:14:18- why you're not in my lesson, Carter. - I do.

0:14:27 > 0:14:28Good.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33Though it doesn't excuse the fact you were still clearly

0:14:33 > 0:14:35running inside the school.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37No, sir, you see, I was inspired.

0:14:37 > 0:14:41I was thinking about your triathlon and my legs just started moving

0:14:41 > 0:14:44like, bam, bam...

0:14:44 > 0:14:47You wait until I'm Head of Year.

0:14:47 > 0:14:50You'll be running from me then, all the way to Fowlmere Manor.

0:14:54 > 0:14:57Oh, we left the newbie in the cupboard.

0:14:57 > 0:14:59I think I'm going to ask Miss Andress

0:14:59 > 0:15:01if I can have another buddy.

0:15:01 > 0:15:04BELL RINGS

0:15:05 > 0:15:09Mel, listen, about tonight...

0:15:09 > 0:15:12- What's this? - This is a text from Dexter.

0:15:12 > 0:15:15"Help, I'm stuck in a cupboard."

0:15:15 > 0:15:17Do you think this is funny?

0:15:17 > 0:15:20No! Well, a little bit.

0:15:20 > 0:15:21Mol.

0:15:21 > 0:15:23Mel.

0:15:23 > 0:15:27Mr Thorne just found your assistant locked in Mr Jameson's cupboard.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29And helping himself to my biscuits.

0:15:29 > 0:15:33That's my fault actually. I was supposed to be looking after him.

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Hopefully, you can turn this around with your fund-raising idea, eh?

0:15:41 > 0:15:44Oh, phew, man. I thought you were Andress! What's up?

0:15:44 > 0:15:47What's up? What's up is that I just took the blame for you

0:15:47 > 0:15:49locking Dexter in a cupboard.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51Oh, man, I just left him there for safekeeping!

0:15:51 > 0:15:55Yeah, on the one day I had to impress Ding-Dong!

0:15:55 > 0:15:57You owe me.

0:15:57 > 0:15:59# Well, well, well Guess who's in another fix

0:15:59 > 0:16:02# And might just need some clever little brother tricks

0:16:02 > 0:16:04# Typical Nathan, I guess Just slipping

0:16:04 > 0:16:06# One problem and he's a headless chicken

0:16:06 > 0:16:09# Then it's down to me to bail him out, of course

0:16:09 > 0:16:11# Similar to when he ran out of clean boxer shorts

0:16:11 > 0:16:14# And he was running late for some hot dinner date

0:16:14 > 0:16:17# I made him a pair with scissors and a pillowcase

0:16:17 > 0:16:19# And I can see it in his face

0:16:19 > 0:16:21# He's most happy when my situation isn't great

0:16:21 > 0:16:24# 99% of the time he started it

0:16:24 > 0:16:26# And it's always me who's gotta clean up after him

0:16:26 > 0:16:29# But I can only think of dumb ways to fund raise

0:16:29 > 0:16:32# Eating 20 school dinners in my lunch break?

0:16:32 > 0:16:34# Sponsored wig making?

0:16:34 > 0:16:36# Playground bareback pig racing?

0:16:36 > 0:16:38# Poor Nathan Look at his little brain ticking

0:16:38 > 0:16:41# Trying to think something up But it ain't clicking

0:16:41 > 0:16:44# Don't know why he always struggles with the same mission

0:16:44 > 0:16:46# When in the end he'll probably ask for some J-Wisdom

0:16:46 > 0:16:48# OK, listen Nate, you're a sharp dude

0:16:48 > 0:16:51# Probably sharper than a great white shark tooth

0:16:51 > 0:16:53# And you know there's not a point that you can't prove

0:16:53 > 0:16:56# Although, talking to yourself? Not a smart move

0:16:56 > 0:16:58# He's like a cartoon Nothing between his ears

0:16:58 > 0:17:01# There's only one guy there when he needs ideas

0:17:01 > 0:17:03# Let's be honest He's been feeding off me for years

0:17:03 > 0:17:07# Why's he putting off the obvious? Please, I'm here!

0:17:07 > 0:17:08# I guess I could run it past him

0:17:08 > 0:17:11# No! I don't wanna have to ask him

0:17:11 > 0:17:13# But if he's got an idea that might sell... Hey, Josh!

0:17:13 > 0:17:16# Don't tell me, you need my help. #

0:17:16 > 0:17:18You're going to have to ask me nicely though.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21OK, look, I need a great fund-raising idea.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23All right? Please?

0:17:24 > 0:17:25Consider it done.

0:17:30 > 0:17:33So I say to Andress, "How come I'm the only one without a buddy?

0:17:33 > 0:17:35"I'm, like, well responsible and I love pets."

0:17:35 > 0:17:37She's like, "You can have Josh's".

0:17:37 > 0:17:40I'm like, "Great(!) I get a manky second-hand Carter reject!"

0:17:40 > 0:17:42Anyway. This is Jamelia.

0:17:42 > 0:17:44Hey, Ash. How's it going with Adam?

0:17:44 > 0:17:46Yeah, he's shown me the room with all the books in.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49The library.

0:17:49 > 0:17:50Yeah.

0:17:50 > 0:17:54Anyway, there's this whole shelf just with books on human biology.

0:17:54 > 0:17:56Very educational.

0:17:56 > 0:18:00Right then. So who's going to sponsor me?

0:18:00 > 0:18:02Cough up, Carter.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04I'd well sponsor you dressed as a bunny.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06That'd be, like, so funny I'd vomit.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09- Yeah! - Be quiet, Jamelia! You are so gobby.

0:18:10 > 0:18:11Bingo!

0:18:11 > 0:18:13See Mr Carter dressed up as a bunny!

0:18:13 > 0:18:16- And dancing like a total plank! - Yeah, and that!

0:18:16 > 0:18:20- Josh. - Hey, bruv. Pretty cool, huh?

0:18:20 > 0:18:24Yeah, it's really cool(!) Look what someone donated on the way here.

0:18:24 > 0:18:28So, this is your big idea, is it?

0:18:28 > 0:18:31Making a fool of yourself in front of the whole school.

0:18:31 > 0:18:32I'm impressed.

0:18:34 > 0:18:36Good. Yeah, I thought you would be.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Maybe you're not as stupid as you're going to look.

0:18:39 > 0:18:42You might just win yourself a place on this leadership team.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Digestives, they were.

0:18:47 > 0:18:51Right. But you're sure the graffiti was Josh Carter?

0:18:51 > 0:18:55Miss Andress. It wasn't Josh. It was someone else.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58That's not what Mr Jameson tells me.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01He didn't do the graffiti, I promise. He's not all bad, really.

0:19:01 > 0:19:03Josh Carter?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Well, he has his moments, like locking me in the cupboard.

0:19:06 > 0:19:08£1.68, they cost me.

0:19:08 > 0:19:10Does Mr Bell know about this?

0:19:10 > 0:19:11No, wait, you can't blame Josh.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Who should I blame? - Certainly not Nathan.

0:19:14 > 0:19:17He only left me with Josh because he had to go and see Miss Poppy.

0:19:17 > 0:19:20- Really?- Yeah, they've got a date this evening.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22I think he'd make a great Head of Year.

0:19:22 > 0:19:24That's for Mr Bell to decide.

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Should have got custard creams.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30You sure Nathan's not going to bottle it?

0:19:30 > 0:19:34Nah, man, it's going to be cool. It's going to be all good. Trust me.

0:19:39 > 0:19:40# The future's looking bright

0:19:40 > 0:19:43# I know it's early days but I might've hooked my wife

0:19:43 > 0:19:45# To think she might've been the one that got away

0:19:45 > 0:19:48# But what a great feeling No more dreaming of a proper date

0:19:48 > 0:19:50# I'll pull out the stoppers, mate

0:19:50 > 0:19:53# We'll have dinner by the ocean Once I've secured my promotion

0:19:53 > 0:19:56# Get a little raise on the wages Basically it's my chance

0:19:56 > 0:19:58# I've been waiting for ages

0:19:58 > 0:20:00# As they say It's game, set, match

0:20:00 > 0:20:03# Another challenger's dreams get dashed

0:20:03 > 0:20:05# As usual, competition gets smashed

0:20:05 > 0:20:08# I could be against Einstein or up against Ash

0:20:08 > 0:20:10# I'm remorseless, relentless Thorne's my apprentice

0:20:10 > 0:20:13# I could have him doing all my chores, making breakfast

0:20:13 > 0:20:15# And he'd be punished if the food ain't cooking right

0:20:15 > 0:20:18# Know what? I'll be honest The future's looking bright

0:20:18 > 0:20:20# Things are so fine

0:20:20 > 0:20:23# Oh, my days, man! The future's mine

0:20:23 > 0:20:25# This is how it feels when your dreams come true

0:20:25 > 0:20:28# And if Thorne's got dreams they're gonna end real soon

0:20:28 > 0:20:30# Life is so sweet

0:20:30 > 0:20:33# Man, I'm the best that you're ever gonna meet

0:20:33 > 0:20:36# That's right, uh-huh

0:20:36 > 0:20:38# Put it to the vote There ain't no-one smarter!

0:20:38 > 0:20:41# Forget sixth I'mma hit seventh gear

0:20:41 > 0:20:43# Call me King Carter THE Head of Year

0:20:43 > 0:20:46# Gonna work so hard Start taking risks

0:20:46 > 0:20:49# No time for friends and relationsh...

0:20:49 > 0:20:51# Ah, wait a minute

0:20:51 > 0:20:53# How'd I juggle Mel and this job if I'm in it?

0:20:53 > 0:20:55# If it is strictly just my career

0:20:55 > 0:20:58# Realistically, I'll never see her

0:20:58 > 0:21:01# I'll be too busy filling papers for Bell

0:21:01 > 0:21:03# Chasing Josh around Year Nine hell

0:21:03 > 0:21:06# Then it's my fault for the kids getting worse

0:21:06 > 0:21:09# This promotion's not a gift It's a curse!

0:21:09 > 0:21:11# Things are so fine

0:21:11 > 0:21:14# Oh, my days, man It's nightmare time

0:21:14 > 0:21:16# This is how it feels on top of the world

0:21:16 > 0:21:19# Get the job, lose the girl

0:21:19 > 0:21:21# Life is so sweet

0:21:21 > 0:21:24# Why would she want a man she never, ever sees?

0:21:24 > 0:21:26# That's right, uh-huh!

0:21:26 > 0:21:29# This could be the start of a total disaster!

0:21:29 > 0:21:31# Melanie dumps me I'd be a mess

0:21:31 > 0:21:34# Monday morning I'd probably struggle to get dressed

0:21:34 > 0:21:36# Turn up depressed Five past 12

0:21:36 > 0:21:39# Smell so bad Get fired by Bell

0:21:39 > 0:21:41# And I'm washed-up again Un-enjoyable

0:21:41 > 0:21:44# Nathan Carter Yep, unemployable

0:21:44 > 0:21:46# Losers, I could top the long list of

0:21:46 > 0:21:49# Know what? I don't think I want this job! #

0:21:49 > 0:21:51What do you mean you're not going to do it?

0:21:51 > 0:21:54If you don't then Bell won't give you the job.

0:21:54 > 0:21:56That suits me fine. I don't even want the job.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59In fact, I'm going to go and speak to Ding-Dong right now

0:21:59 > 0:22:02and get him to give the job to Thorne instead.

0:22:03 > 0:22:07So you don't want to be my buddy? I'll see you on Jeremy Kyle, yeah!

0:22:09 > 0:22:11Hey, Josh. I've been thinking...

0:22:11 > 0:22:13No. I don't need no buddy, man.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16- I've already got enough on my plate.- Oh, please!

0:22:16 > 0:22:18No, I've got to keep my brother away from Bell and find

0:22:18 > 0:22:23someone stupid enough to replace him in that dumb bunny costume.

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Mr Harris! Oi!

0:22:33 > 0:22:35You go. I'll deal with your brother.

0:22:35 > 0:22:37Thanks, buddy!

0:22:39 > 0:22:41SHE CRIES

0:22:41 > 0:22:42What's the matter?

0:22:42 > 0:22:45My bag! Josh Carter hid it in there!

0:22:45 > 0:22:47Oh, did he?

0:22:47 > 0:22:48All right.

0:22:53 > 0:22:54Hey!

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Mr Harris!

0:22:57 > 0:22:59- Mr Harris! - Don't worry, I'm leaving.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03You're... You're leaving?

0:23:05 > 0:23:06Look, I'm really sorry.

0:23:06 > 0:23:08All I wanted was for people to like me

0:23:08 > 0:23:10and now you hate me for getting you in trouble

0:23:10 > 0:23:13and Nathan's going to hate me for losing him his new job.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16What if I had a guaranteed way to make people like you?

0:23:20 > 0:23:23And here he is, as you've never seen him before,

0:23:23 > 0:23:25the one and only Mr Carter.

0:23:25 > 0:23:26CHEERING

0:23:26 > 0:23:29You said I was replacing Nathan, not pretending to be him.

0:23:29 > 0:23:34Good point. We should probably talk about that later. Yeah.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40LAUGHTER

0:23:42 > 0:23:43Dance!

0:23:54 > 0:23:57Welcome to the Elmsbury Triathlon.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Please, make some noise for Mr Thorne.

0:24:01 > 0:24:02ONE OR TWO CHEERS

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Is this it, Phillips?

0:24:07 > 0:24:08It's not my fault, sir!

0:24:08 > 0:24:11If you were dressed as a bunny there'd be more people here.

0:24:11 > 0:24:13All right, fine!

0:24:13 > 0:24:15They want me dressed like a bunny,

0:24:15 > 0:24:17I'll dress like a flaming bunny!

0:24:21 > 0:24:25Right then, give me the bunny suit, Carter. Right now.

0:24:25 > 0:24:28My turn to wear it.

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Give me that suit, Carter.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32What are you doing?

0:24:32 > 0:24:33PHONE BEEPS

0:24:33 > 0:24:34Mr Thorne!

0:24:36 > 0:24:37Nathan?

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Harris? Where's Mr Carter?

0:24:44 > 0:24:47I think he might be locked in a cupboard.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50I have never, in my entire career,

0:24:50 > 0:24:54witnessed such an unprofessional debacle.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Well, to be fair, all the kids really seemed to enjoy it.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01I don't care about the kids, Mr Thorne!

0:25:01 > 0:25:03And that's your chance of promotion gone.

0:25:03 > 0:25:04What?

0:25:06 > 0:25:07You can't give it to Carter!

0:25:07 > 0:25:12Actually, I've kind of decided I don't want the job after all.

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Well, that's good cos I actually kind of decided

0:25:14 > 0:25:16that I wasn't going to give it you.

0:25:16 > 0:25:19As for your little brother, he's suspended for two weeks.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Suspended? What's he suspended for?

0:25:21 > 0:25:23For daubing graffiti on a playground wall!

0:25:23 > 0:25:25For locking Mr Harris in a cupboard!

0:25:25 > 0:25:28No, wait, I told you, he didn't do the graffiti.

0:25:28 > 0:25:29I did.

0:25:29 > 0:25:31You?

0:25:31 > 0:25:34Well, the bit that's spelt correctly, yes.

0:25:34 > 0:25:35I suppose, under the circumstances,

0:25:35 > 0:25:38we should just let him off with a warning, shouldn't we?

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Go on, get out, all of you. Go.

0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, except you, Miss Poppy.

0:25:50 > 0:25:54Looks like you were lucky, Josh. Mr Harris saved your skin.

0:25:54 > 0:25:56Yeah, well, I guess you did owe it to me.

0:25:58 > 0:26:00No, it's fine, don't worry about it.

0:26:01 > 0:26:02Is it always like this?

0:26:02 > 0:26:05Nah. Sometimes it's worse.

0:26:05 > 0:26:06Hey, Josh!

0:26:06 > 0:26:09Josh, I'll meet you at the car, yeah? I just need to...

0:26:09 > 0:26:12Have a word with Miss Poppy, yeah, whatever.

0:26:13 > 0:26:18Mel, listen, about this evening, the restaurant...

0:26:18 > 0:26:21Turns out it's a dodgy nightclub.

0:26:21 > 0:26:24- You knew? - Yeah, I looked it up online.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27- I guessed you must have made a mistake.- Oh, cool.

0:26:27 > 0:26:31The thing is, the reason I didn't want to take this job

0:26:31 > 0:26:33is cos I wanted to spend more time with you.

0:26:33 > 0:26:35I mean, it would have been a nightmare,

0:26:35 > 0:26:39trying to balance a relationship with all the extra responsibility...

0:26:39 > 0:26:44- Yeah.- ..all the meetings and the paperwork.- Yeah.

0:26:44 > 0:26:47They offered you the job, didn't they?

0:26:47 > 0:26:48Yeah.

0:26:48 > 0:26:51That's wicked, man, congratulations.

0:26:51 > 0:26:53I really like you, Nathan,

0:26:53 > 0:26:57but I can't turn this job down and it's so much more work.

0:26:57 > 0:27:02I'm sorry. Maybe further down the line in a few months...

0:27:02 > 0:27:03Yeah.

0:27:04 > 0:27:06I'll see you tomorrow.

0:27:11 > 0:27:13Well?

0:27:13 > 0:27:14It's complicated.

0:27:21 > 0:27:23Hey, I want a word with you.

0:27:24 > 0:27:25OK, I messed up.

0:27:25 > 0:27:28What more do you want from me, stroke your ears better?

0:27:28 > 0:27:29Oi, Elmo! >

0:27:29 > 0:27:32- That was brilliant! - I loved that dance you did, sir.

0:27:32 > 0:27:35Thorne chasing you round the stage and duffing you up was well sick.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38- Hilarious.- You raised way more money than Mr Thorne.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40Looks like you haven't messed things up after all.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42They like me. They really like me.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45What can I say, man? I'm a genius.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49- # Can't live with them - And you can't kick them out

0:27:49 > 0:27:52- # When they're up they rub it in your face- Kick you when you're down

0:27:52 > 0:27:55- # But when no-one understands them - You know what they're on about

0:27:55 > 0:27:57- # Who's gonna be around - Gotta find the common ground

0:27:57 > 0:28:02# If you know so much about me Where do I go from here?

0:28:02 > 0:28:04- # If you see them everyday - You can never get away

0:28:04 > 0:28:06# Only time that you're the boss 4 O'Clock. #