0:00:06 > 0:00:09# Where do you go when you know nobody can understand you?
0:00:09 > 0:00:12# When it's just too much to handle?
0:00:12 > 0:00:14# What do you do when you end up somewhere you never planned to?
0:00:14 > 0:00:17# Wash that stress out like it was shampoo
0:00:17 > 0:00:20# You should stay, it can change
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# There's good days and bad days
0:00:22 > 0:00:26# But one day down the line this time is sure to stop
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# So the only time is now, 4 o'clock. #
0:00:30 > 0:00:32There it is. Vampire Ninja 4.
0:00:32 > 0:00:36The rarest and most valuable Vampire Ninja game EVER!
0:00:36 > 0:00:40Then why's it in a charity shop window for £1.49?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42They don't know what they're holding, do they?
0:00:42 > 0:00:43Look, this is the game that got banned
0:00:43 > 0:00:46for being too full of psycho kung-fu bloodsuckers.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48My mum says people who play violent video games
0:00:48 > 0:00:50always end up in prison.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52I'm just saying.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54Anyway, look, only 100 copies were released,
0:00:54 > 0:00:57and they reckon the government have most of them in a bunker.
0:00:57 > 0:01:01OK, so it's worth a fortune. Why didn't you buy it?
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Cos, doorknob, the shop only opens after nine.
0:01:03 > 0:01:04Going to have to head up there after school.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Are you just going to keep spending all your lunch money on ice creams?
0:01:11 > 0:01:13Course. It's got all the main food groups.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16Fat, cones, and coldness.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18And raspberry sauce is one of my five-a-day.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20You do know Mr Bell's banned everyone
0:01:20 > 0:01:22from coming to the ice cream van?
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Oh, no, I'm so scared(!)
0:01:24 > 0:01:26Ding Dong's made a new rule!
0:01:26 > 0:01:27Best eat quicker before I get caught!
0:01:27 > 0:01:30You what? Dong-Ding can chew his rules with his stupid face-hole!
0:01:30 > 0:01:31I'm getting a Mr Swirly!
0:01:31 > 0:01:34And my mum says ice cream rots your tongue.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36Your mum rots my will to live.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Ryan, you're such a wuss. What's Bell going to do?
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Send teachers out here to catch us?
0:01:41 > 0:01:43- Hey!- That man is evil!
0:01:44 > 0:01:46I left my briefcase there again.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Out of the way! There's a mad bull!
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Oh!
0:01:52 > 0:01:53Argh! Brain freeze!
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Come on, Ash! Stop eating!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58ICE CREAM SPLATS
0:01:58 > 0:02:00SHE SHOUTS Detention! All of you!
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Some people say,
0:02:05 > 0:02:06"Oh, you can't stop the kids
0:02:06 > 0:02:09"from going out of the grounds at lunchtime!
0:02:09 > 0:02:11"Ooh, you can't stop the kids
0:02:11 > 0:02:13"from splattering your Deputy Head with ice cream."
0:02:13 > 0:02:15You.
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Me?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Is that the sort of thing you would say?
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Well, I, er...
0:02:21 > 0:02:22- No?- Good.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Because it's a fine line between buying ice cream and truancy,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29and from now on, there's a zero tolerance on both.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31We'll be monitoring the exits during break.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34The kids can buy all the junk they want from the school tuck shop.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37Let's just think about the budget. Yes?
0:02:37 > 0:02:41Now before you go, I'd like to introduce W...PC Rowe,
0:02:41 > 0:02:43our new Police Liaison Officer.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48I want Elmsbury to be a safe and trusting environment for everyone.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52Which is why we're also installing these security cameras.
0:02:53 > 0:02:56Right, go on. Off you go. We're all done.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59That seems a bit heavy-handed, doesn't it?
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- They're kids, not criminals. - Yeah. Oh!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04Miss Andress tells me that you saw students buying ice cream
0:03:04 > 0:03:05and you didn't stop them. Is that right?
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Well, they said there was a mad bull.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10It all happened very quickly.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Dexter, I want you to flourish here,
0:03:13 > 0:03:17and sometimes, for something to flourish, it needs to be cared for.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Tended, watered, pruning away any wayward sprouts. You follow me?
0:03:21 > 0:03:24You want to prune my sprouts?
0:03:24 > 0:03:27I'm going to make a special project out of you, Dexter.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29I might drop in to one of your lessons tomorrow.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30See how you're getting on.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35Mel, walk with me. Have you ever been to an educators' conference?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38You've got a bit of ice cream on...
0:03:38 > 0:03:42Oh, that's not mine. I...I didn't go to the ice cream van.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44HE RAPS # Why's it always like this?
0:03:44 > 0:03:47# In the face of authority I seem to go to bits
0:03:47 > 0:03:48# And it's the same deal with my dad
0:03:48 > 0:03:51# I remember one time He was really, really mad
0:03:51 > 0:03:54# So mad, I hid in my bed Never forget that
0:03:54 > 0:03:57# So scared, there might've been a little wet patch
0:03:57 > 0:03:59# Looking back on those days, They were never fun
0:03:59 > 0:04:02# Wow, how old was I then? Oh, yeah, 21
0:04:02 > 0:04:03# Anyway, the point remains
0:04:03 > 0:04:06# That my temper is the type a choir boy could tame
0:04:06 > 0:04:09# Everybody walks over me It's a habit
0:04:09 > 0:04:11# Even baby deer, kittens and bunny rabbits
0:04:11 > 0:04:14# And it's madness I gotta make it stop, right?
0:04:14 > 0:04:16# Before Bell finds out I'm a soft type!
0:04:16 > 0:04:18# But I'm not the type to back out of a challenge
0:04:18 > 0:04:21# It's time to look tough Like this, I'd imagine. #
0:04:21 > 0:04:24# It's weird, people in charge have never bothered me
0:04:24 > 0:04:26# Maybe deep down they sense my authority
0:04:26 > 0:04:28# Yeah, I might be just a small guy with glasses
0:04:28 > 0:04:31# But I'm still the type you'd probably like to walk to class with
0:04:31 > 0:04:34# Cos the chances are, I'm bunking
0:04:34 > 0:04:36# Dexter Harris, I'll show you how I run things
0:04:36 > 0:04:38# Scoot past Andress, dodging Poppy like this
0:04:38 > 0:04:41# Right in front of Ding-Dong, playing Jedi mind tricks
0:04:41 > 0:04:43# Prince Carter, label me imperious
0:04:43 > 0:04:46# That King of the Castle rhyme? I took it serious
0:04:46 > 0:04:48# I was born for the throne, It's inherited
0:04:48 > 0:04:51# Dexter, a boss? Uh-uh! Negative!
0:04:51 > 0:04:53# Him running anything is unlikely
0:04:53 > 0:04:56# He ain't really got a following like me
0:04:56 > 0:04:58# In fact, that's just the following that might be
0:04:58 > 0:05:01# The perfect thing to turn against him that I need. #
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Nice work, roll-mop.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I'm not allowed out at lunch time, thanks to you
0:05:05 > 0:05:08splattin' all on Andress, you cone-chucking flailbucket.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Wait, wait. This isn't my fault.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13- Josh, could you stop talking, please? - She started it.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Anyway, I just wanted us to talk about this...
0:05:18 > 0:05:20Einstein's right for once.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22These new rules are all about what you did to Mandress.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Could we all calm down, please,
0:05:24 > 0:05:27and perhaps concentrate on what you think about this?
0:05:27 > 0:05:28It was his fault.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31If he was acting like a proper responsible teacher at the gate,
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Ash would never have got brain freeze
0:05:33 > 0:05:35and Andress wouldn't have got her shoes 99'd.
0:05:35 > 0:05:36Hang on, I don't think...
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Getting a Mr Swirly is like, my human rights.
0:05:39 > 0:05:42Yes, well, it's not actually me who says you can't buy ice creams.
0:05:42 > 0:05:45Oh, right. Can we go, cos that's the reason we're in detention?
0:05:45 > 0:05:46Er, no.
0:05:46 > 0:05:48Right, so you are sayin' we can't buy ice creams?
0:05:48 > 0:05:50And that we can't go out at lunch?
0:05:50 > 0:05:53Yeah, and if you didn't got freaked about some random bull,
0:05:53 > 0:05:55then Andress wouldn't even of got cornet shoes.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56You're a well rubbish teacher.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58THEY CLAMOUR IN AGREEMENT
0:05:58 > 0:06:01Don't worry, sir. You'll get the hang of it one day.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Hey, Ash, we're going to swing by the charity shop. You coming?
0:06:08 > 0:06:10I'm not going to some souped-up cardie outlet.
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Even if Ryan does need a new pair of grundies.
0:06:12 > 0:06:14Ha-ha.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17We're going for this stupid vintage game Josh is on about.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20Ladies, most of my dinner ended up all over Andress.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23There's only one place I'm going. To the ice cream van.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31Don't let them get to you, sir. It's only because you're a pushover.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33I am not a pushover.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I'm sorry, sir. But I'm afraid you are.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Am I?
0:06:38 > 0:06:40See? You back down straight away. If I can push you around,
0:06:40 > 0:06:42what chance have you got with them animals?
0:06:42 > 0:06:44So why are you always in detention?
0:06:44 > 0:06:47From what I can see, it's cos you don't get your homework done.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I don't really want to talk about it, sir.
0:06:50 > 0:06:51But you need to do set work.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54What happened to the work I set you last week?
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- That was supposed to be in today. - I'll have it tomorrow.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58OK. Tomorrow. But you should really...
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I'm sorry, sir. I've got to go.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11Sorry, loves. I can't stop near the school any more.
0:07:11 > 0:07:13That policewoman's just told me to move on.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16What? There's no law against eatin' freeze pops!
0:07:16 > 0:07:18Since when was there ice cream police?
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I'll stop round the corner tomorrow. Tell your friends.
0:07:20 > 0:07:23Don't go! I want my Twistyflake! You're oppressin' my rights!
0:07:23 > 0:07:24RUMBLING
0:07:24 > 0:07:27Eeurgh, Ashley. Was that your guts?
0:07:27 > 0:07:30Extra sprinkles tomorrow. I promise.
0:07:30 > 0:07:32ICE CREAM VAN CHIMES
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Ah, Mel, I wondered if you'd, erm,
0:07:38 > 0:07:42given any thought to joining me at the conference?
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Well, I...it's very flattering that you've thought of me.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48But wouldn't it be more appropriate to take Miss Andress?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Oh, good one! Oh, you're serious.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55Well, there's no doubt that Anita is a formidable enforcer,
0:07:55 > 0:07:59but prince doesn't need to take his Rottweiler to the ball, does he?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02There's a lot of important people there
0:08:02 > 0:08:04and I need to weave my magic.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- And what does every good magician need?- To inexplicably vanish?
0:08:08 > 0:08:11No. A glamorous assistant.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Bit of eye-candy to enhance the mystique.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21And operate the projector.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23(That's you.)
0:08:23 > 0:08:24So what do you think?
0:08:26 > 0:08:28That's right, it's a big break.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Think about it.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41What kind of messed-up shop closes at five o'clock?
0:08:41 > 0:08:45One that doesn't know the price of rare video games?
0:08:45 > 0:08:48But it's cool. Look, we'll just come back after school tomorrow.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50No-one knows it's here.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Vampire Ninja Four?! Unbelievable!
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- I'll be back!- No, scratch that. We're going to have to come back
0:09:07 > 0:09:09at lunchtime tomorrow and get here before Darius.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12But, Mr Bell's banned us from going out at lunch.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13We can't break the rules!
0:09:13 > 0:09:15C'mon, Ryan, how's he even going to know?
0:09:15 > 0:09:17It's not as if he's got eyes everywhere, is it?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It's no good, Josh, we'll never get out.
0:09:21 > 0:09:24They've got every exit covered.
0:09:29 > 0:09:34Hey, Mel. Listen, do you think I'm a pushover?
0:09:34 > 0:09:35Are you OK?
0:09:35 > 0:09:39- I've just got called a bit of eye-candy.- Oh, kids.
0:09:39 > 0:09:44By the headmaster! He wants me to be his magical assistant.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46I could report him for that.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Don't rock the boat. Not before he checks out my lesson.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51Do you think I should go big on the whole discipline thing tomorrow?
0:09:51 > 0:09:54I just can't get the other kids to pay attention.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57Not "the other kids." Just the kids.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58You're a teacher.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Right. Yeah. So what should I do?
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Just do a good lesson.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Then you'll look good and I'll look good.
0:10:05 > 0:10:08Relax, you'll be fine. You've done a lesson plan, yeah?
0:10:08 > 0:10:10I have! It's in my brief case...
0:10:20 > 0:10:23HE HUMS
0:10:23 > 0:10:25KEY TURNS IN LOCK
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Oh, no!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31CARETAKER HUMS OFF-KEY
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Hello, hello. I'm still here. Come on!
0:10:57 > 0:11:01So, new plan. After school, Ash'll be on lookout for Darius.
0:11:01 > 0:11:07You come here, catch my bag like this, or not.
0:11:07 > 0:11:11I leg it, snag the game, Darius chokes on my dust.
0:11:11 > 0:11:14Don't think you're going to beat me to that game, Carter.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19Yeah, yeah, of course not. I've just decided to give up.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- So, yeah, you can head up there... - Take off your shoes.
0:11:22 > 0:11:26If you've given up, you won't mind tiptoeing home in your socks.
0:11:26 > 0:11:27HE LAUGHS
0:11:27 > 0:11:31I should've known I couldn't fool you, Dee.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35You might want to step back, cos I've got this fungal foot rot thing.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36It's kind of bad, so...
0:11:43 > 0:11:47So, Mel, the conference...
0:11:47 > 0:11:52Oh, yes...er unfortunately, my nan is ill.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Oh. Nothing serious, I hope?
0:11:54 > 0:11:57No, not serious. Quite serious.
0:11:57 > 0:12:00Serious enough that I need to visit her this weekend.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03Oh, right. That is a shame.
0:12:06 > 0:12:10Girl. You've given me the wrong change. What are two 38s?
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Two, four, six...
0:12:12 > 0:12:16It's 24p change. What do they teach you at school?
0:12:17 > 0:12:20Hi, Agness. Have you got that homework I asked about?
0:12:20 > 0:12:22- Free doughnut, sir?- Wow. Thanks.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23Just don't let him see!
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Mr Harris. I'll be coming to see your lesson after lunch.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31I hope you're prepared.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37I will be. HE GULPS
0:12:38 > 0:12:40HE CHOKES
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Thanks.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45You've got a doughnut up your jumper.
0:12:45 > 0:12:46This isn't what it looks like.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48Why? What does it look like?
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Hey, hey. No running.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55Yeah, whatever.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59# That is it! That is the last lone straw!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01# Dexter Harris will be a pushover no more!
0:13:01 > 0:13:03# In fact, I'll be the opposite!
0:13:03 > 0:13:05# The opposite of pushover
0:13:05 > 0:13:07# Um, err a pullunder!
0:13:07 > 0:13:09# Yeah! I'll pull 'em under my spell
0:13:09 > 0:13:12# And be the greatest leader that they've seen since Bell!
0:13:12 > 0:13:14# Bell. Why does Bell spell Hell?
0:13:14 > 0:13:17# Why do I turn frail if I'm near where he dwells?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18# I have to get over it
0:13:18 > 0:13:21# And I have to show the kids I'm the boss
0:13:21 > 0:13:23# Then I hope that he notices
0:13:23 > 0:13:25# If I don't put my foot down, Bell
0:13:25 > 0:13:27# Well, he'll probably have me put down
0:13:27 > 0:13:29# And replaced with a strict disciplinarian
0:13:29 > 0:13:32# Who hates librarians and eats vegetarians
0:13:32 > 0:13:35# It's time for me to make a stand at this school
0:13:35 > 0:13:36# Meet the new Dexter!
0:13:36 > 0:13:38# I am the rules
0:13:38 > 0:13:41# Yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh! #
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Detention!
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Give it to Darius, he's the one that was chasing us!
0:13:45 > 0:13:46Save it, Josh!
0:13:46 > 0:13:50Don't fret, Carter. Maybe I'll let you play that game one time. Maybe.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55Thanks. Thanks a lot, yeah!
0:13:56 > 0:13:59- Sir, can I just... - You too. Detention for running.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01AGNESS GIGGLES
0:14:01 > 0:14:02Agness. Where's that homework?
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Actually, sir, could I have a quiet word?- No, you can't.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- You see, it's my mum... - I don't want to hear it! OK?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10I've had enough of your excuses, all of you.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12Have you done it or not?
0:14:12 > 0:14:15- Well, detention for you too. - Sir, you can't!
0:14:15 > 0:14:18And order is restored.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24Yeah, I've got a way out.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28Got a group going in two minutes. It'll cost you though.
0:14:28 > 0:14:29£2?
0:14:29 > 0:14:32This girl wants me to pay her £2 just to show me
0:14:32 > 0:14:34some hole in the fence? No way, man!
0:14:34 > 0:14:38Whatever. But...my way was good enough for Darius.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41What was it he said? "Got to get there before Carter."
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Join the others.
0:14:52 > 0:14:54Where's Darius? I thought you said...
0:14:54 > 0:14:57- He went out in the last convoy. - Come on. We've got to move.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00I don't know. I think maybe I've changed my mind.
0:15:00 > 0:15:02You've got to be kidding me.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Yeah. I'd love to go, but you know what my mum says,
0:15:05 > 0:15:08"Breaking rules is the sport of fools." You go.
0:15:08 > 0:15:12I'll stay here. Keep an eye on things until you get back.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25I'm not scared or anything.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28HE MIMICS CHICKEN
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Josh!
0:15:59 > 0:16:02- What are you doing out of school? - Aw, don't worry, sir. I just...
0:16:02 > 0:16:04No, I will worry. Or rather, you will.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07What do you take me for? I'm your teacher.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09And you're in big trouble.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Is there some sort of reason you're still skulking around here?
0:16:22 > 0:16:23Just...waiting for Josh.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Do you think Josh'll want to see you after you chickened out?
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- I didn't chicken out! - So why are you so sweaty?
0:16:29 > 0:16:32Why are you standing as far from the hole as you can?
0:16:32 > 0:16:33I'm just...a sweaty person.
0:16:33 > 0:16:37Right, well, why don't you come and stand a bit nearer then? Come on.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41See, how's that?
0:16:41 > 0:16:44Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really relaxed.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48See? I don't care about getting caught. I'm a rebel. Like you.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52Really? Seeing as how you're a rebel just like me,
0:16:52 > 0:16:56then why don't you keep lookout? How's that?
0:16:56 > 0:16:59You can prove you've got some guts after all.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Sweet ice cream.- Will you stop followin' me around everywhere?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15I'm not following you around.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17How come you're behind me everywhere I look?
0:17:17 > 0:17:20Oh, wow. I am, aren't I? I wonder what that means?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23It means you're harassing me like a creep. You can forget it.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25You had a chance with me last year and you blew it.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Yes, love?- Yeah. All right! The only way you'll get me alone
0:17:28 > 0:17:32is if you like make everyone else in the world disappear.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34How'd you do that?
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Andress!
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Stay quiet. I think she saw us.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Quick!
0:17:46 > 0:17:48- Ashley!- Get in.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50ENGINE STARTS
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- This is so unfair.- No, what's unfair is you lot messing with me
0:18:03 > 0:18:05so much, I've got Bell sitting in on my next class.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08So why don't you let me off and I make sure that
0:18:08 > 0:18:09everyone behaves or something?
0:18:09 > 0:18:13I'm through listening to you, Josh. From now on, we do it by the book.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19I don't believe this! No homework. And now out of school.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21- I can't believe I gave you a chance. - But, sir...
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- I don't want to hear it. Back to school now.- But...
0:18:24 > 0:18:25BABY CRIES
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Not listening! Yeah. See how you like it.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32Where were you? I told you not to leave him.
0:18:32 > 0:18:33I was only gone for a minute.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36And what would have happened if someone had run off with him?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38- I got to look after you, haven't I?- Sorry.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48HE RAPS # I'm not the rules, I'm a fool
0:18:48 > 0:18:51# So focussed on myself that I didn't see at all
0:18:51 > 0:18:54# There I am, acting as the world's hardest teacher
0:18:54 > 0:18:58# She nearly left an unattended baby in the street, ahh
0:18:58 > 0:19:01# Trying not to be a clown
0:19:01 > 0:19:04# Let a girl down, I'm a bigger clown now
0:19:04 > 0:19:07# With all that Agness has to do on her own
0:19:07 > 0:19:10# Can't even imagine what she's going through at home
0:19:10 > 0:19:13# Guess it puts it all in perspective
0:19:13 > 0:19:16# Now I know why she was being so overprotective
0:19:16 > 0:19:18# And suddenly I feel so selfish
0:19:18 > 0:19:22# Trying to help myself when there's good girl helpless
0:19:22 > 0:19:24# Why'd I never ask her before
0:19:24 > 0:19:27# Why she's always tired Hands rough from the chores?
0:19:27 > 0:19:30# Maybe she thinks it's normal To me it's totally crazy
0:19:30 > 0:19:34# She's just a baby Who's taking care of a baby
0:19:34 > 0:19:36# And you could say She keeps it to herself
0:19:36 > 0:19:40# But her face tells a tale She never told anyone else
0:19:40 > 0:19:43# While the rest of us Are getting our kicks
0:19:43 > 0:19:46# Agness is home Cos her mum's been sick
0:19:46 > 0:19:48# Taking care of her brothers And her sis
0:19:48 > 0:19:52# For the past few years Been a mother and a kid
0:19:52 > 0:19:55# And she's chained to the sink Most days
0:19:55 > 0:19:59# No time for school No work, no play
0:19:59 > 0:20:01# All she knows is how to be helpful
0:20:01 > 0:20:04# But ask her to spell that word She couldn't tell you
0:20:04 > 0:20:07# Reading, writing, arithmetic
0:20:07 > 0:20:10# She's always struggled Just to get to grips with it
0:20:10 > 0:20:12# And somehow managed To keep it all secret
0:20:12 > 0:20:16# Never does her homework, hard to believe it
0:20:16 > 0:20:18# But if you ask her She won't let a sound out
0:20:18 > 0:20:22# So she'd rather not try Than be found out
0:20:22 > 0:20:25# Why'd I never stop and think?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27# "Are you OK?" Can be said in a blink
0:20:27 > 0:20:30# Sometimes you get So hung up on yourself
0:20:30 > 0:20:34# You just don't see there might be a problem for someone else. #
0:20:34 > 0:20:37I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Agness.
0:20:37 > 0:20:38I'll get you some help, yeah?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41See if I can sort out some extra tuition on your reading.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I don't want people to think I'm stupid.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45Nah, come on, man. You're not stupid.
0:20:45 > 0:20:48What you've been doing for your mum, it's incredible.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Where do you need to go?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52I've got to drop Sidney at my aunt's before she goes out.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55- OK. I'll give you a lift. - You might have a problem with that.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57HE GROANS
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Now you got me in the back of an ice cream van.
0:21:04 > 0:21:06Is that supposed to impress me?
0:21:06 > 0:21:08- Shhh! - I'm not shuttin' up. You shut up.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22We'd better not have missed her!
0:21:22 > 0:21:23HANDLE RATTLES
0:21:23 > 0:21:25You've ruined everything.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Now who's going to look after my little brother?
0:21:28 > 0:21:30What if we take him with us? Like back to school.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32I can't take him into lessons!
0:21:32 > 0:21:35But I know someone who can look after him. It's a good idea.
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- We'll never make it. - We will if we run. Come on.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44OK! OK! Listen, listen, listen.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47Right, I'm sorry I trapped you in an ice cream van.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50And about the disco last year, and them girls.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53But just think about the genius of where we are right now.
0:21:53 > 0:21:56- How's this genius?- Because of this.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13- Ah, man! They closed it up! - OK, we'll go in through the gate.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15No way! I'll get done, won't I?
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Or expelled! Break's over. We're truant.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21I'm supposed to be in there showing Me Bell what a great teacher I am!
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Wait, I've got someone who can get us in. Trust me.
0:22:30 > 0:22:32PHONE RINGS
0:22:34 > 0:22:36TYRES SCREECH
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Hey! What are you doing?!
0:22:38 > 0:22:43It's all right. We're going to pay. Give her the money.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Get out of my van!
0:22:52 > 0:22:53Where are we?
0:22:55 > 0:22:59- He's not picking up.- OK, let me try.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Mel!
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Just on my way to Dexter's class. Has he started?
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- PHONE RINGS - I expect so.- Good.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11Hello. You're where?
0:23:13 > 0:23:15Mr Bell!
0:23:15 > 0:23:18The conference. I would really like to go.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20Great news. What made you change your mind.?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22Um...the opportunity...
0:23:22 > 0:23:25..to assist...you.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29Excellent. But what about your gran? You said she was really sick?
0:23:29 > 0:23:31She's always sick.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33So I'll go and visit her the next weekend.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36She'll probably still be sick. Maybe even more.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40Tell me about your presentation.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44It's no good. Bell's got her.
0:23:44 > 0:23:45Hey, you guys!
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Where have you been?
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Well, we got trapped in the back of an ice cream van,
0:23:52 > 0:23:56dumped miles away, which will never happen again.
0:23:56 > 0:23:59Still think it's not as bad as it looks?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04OK. Last chance.
0:24:08 > 0:24:11PHONE RINGS
0:24:11 > 0:24:17Hello. What? I can't just sneak out. That's totally against the...
0:24:19 > 0:24:21I'll be right down.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24Watch and learn.
0:24:26 > 0:24:30# MUSIC: "Theme From Mission Impossible"
0:24:50 > 0:24:51Ryan! No!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Don't worry, I can do this!
0:24:55 > 0:24:57Ryan, I know, but...
0:24:57 > 0:25:00HE YELLS IN SLOW MOTION
0:25:05 > 0:25:08I broke the rules! See? I can do it!
0:25:08 > 0:25:10How are we supposed get back in?
0:25:15 > 0:25:17You must work very hard.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20I do. It isn't easy.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24Let's go and see how Dexter's getting on.
0:25:27 > 0:25:31OK. OK. Here's what we do. Josh, let me give you a bunk up.
0:25:35 > 0:25:37But how are you going to get in, sir?
0:25:37 > 0:25:40The gates. I'll tell 'em I got locked out by mistake.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Let's face it, it's the sort of thing they'll believe.
0:25:43 > 0:25:48- But at least you lot won't get caught.- Push me up.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Stop playin', man.
0:25:58 > 0:26:02So. Now we're talking, tell me what were you doing out of school.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Well...I was after Vampire Ninja Four.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08It seemed really important at the time.
0:26:08 > 0:26:11It's overhyped, anyway. Not a patch on number three.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13A mate bought me a copy back from Japan.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15You can have it if you want.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17You are the best teacher ever.
0:26:18 > 0:26:21- Thanks for this.- Not a problem.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24I used to be a bit of a tearaway at school myself.
0:26:24 > 0:26:27Although, now I think about it, I wasn't the teacher.
0:26:27 > 0:26:29Yeah, well, this is just a one-off.
0:26:29 > 0:26:33I won't get, like, stuck outside with shopping and babies
0:26:33 > 0:26:35and kids standing on my head again.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37You better not. I'll have to arrest you.
0:26:37 > 0:26:40- HE LAUGHS - No, seriously. I will arrest you.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Right. Well. I guess I better sneak them into class somehow.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48OK. I did see a teacher climbing through a window the other day.
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Oh. Right.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55One more thing about the conference. I've changed my mind.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58Again. I don't want to be your wizard's assistant.
0:26:58 > 0:27:01I'm a good teacher, with some competent colleagues.
0:27:01 > 0:27:03If there's something going on behind that door
0:27:03 > 0:27:04that isn't 100% professional,
0:27:04 > 0:27:08I'm sure there's a very good reason for that. OK?
0:27:08 > 0:27:10THE STUDENTS CHATTER LOUDLY
0:27:14 > 0:27:16CHATTERING STOPS
0:27:16 > 0:27:18And as Josh is demonstrating,
0:27:18 > 0:27:21ballet involves an awful lot of stretching.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23Thank you, Josh.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26Vampire Ninja Four.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30So now we've covered the music of the ballet,
0:27:30 > 0:27:35I'd like you to have a look at these worksheets and tell me...
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Has anyone seen my brief case?
0:27:47 > 0:27:48HE LAUGHS
0:27:48 > 0:27:50Dressing Up Bunny Two!
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- # Can't live with 'em - And you can't kick 'em out
0:27:56 > 0:27:58# When they're up they rub it in your face
0:27:58 > 0:28:00- # Kick you when you're down - When no-one understand them
0:28:00 > 0:28:03- # You know what they're on about - Who's going to be around?
0:28:03 > 0:28:05# Got to find the common ground
0:28:05 > 0:28:07# If you know so much about me
0:28:07 > 0:28:09# Where do I go from here?
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- # If you see 'em everyday - You can never get away
0:28:11 > 0:28:14# Only time that you're the boss, 4 o'clock. #
0:28:14 > 0:28:16Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd